How would you revive Pirates of the Caribbean?
I wouldn't. All the potc movies probably suck
Cast actual Caribbean people instead of whites.
>>220703742Fibby Bippy
>>220703690Cute neck shelf
>>220703761wiped out by the spanish.the irish were imported as slavesthen jeets and nogs.Whites have unironically been there the longest
>>220703690They'll probably make a prequel.
>>220703690Keeping the original formula of fanatsy+monsters+pirates instead of a strict search for a thingamajig to do a magickthing like the 2017 movie, first five were about the journey, the environment and the mythology, it felt rightly built
>>220703690I wouldn't. I would listen to what the pirates had to say, and that's what no one did.
>>220703690Weren't they making two of them? A continuation and then the female reboot with Margot Robbie. What happened with them?
Problematic !
>>220703690>>220704112Why did her tits look massive in this one?
>>220704180dishonest dress making
>>220704180pushup bra
Remake Curse of the Black Pearl with more emphasis on the dramatic adventure story elements than the misguided attempts at romance and comedy. Norrington as the main character. Cut out Will Turner and Natalie Portroyal entirely; Bootstrap just appears as the tritagonist instead.George Lucas to direct.
>>220703690I'd make a movie about the British Navy anti-slavery patrols. I'd like to see the woke-left stick that in their diversity hole.
With some good business.
>>220704112This joke is such a bad attempt at writing. It relies on the audience (children) knowing the term and context of "whore" instead of being a more generalized situation that can work for both adults and children. Pic related.
>>220704472The joke you posted wouldn't work for children. Sure they'd think it's funny because Sponge Bob is acting funny, but they wouldnt "get it".In the same way, children would still find the Horology scene funny because everyone is acting funny. They don't need to get it.
>>220704472not every joke needs to pander to both kids and adults, cope
>>220703690Is that Netfilx Claire Redfield?
>>220704520>Children have never experienced getting caught doing something they're not supposed toAre you daft, or did you just come out of a test tube as a 35 year-old?>>220704523It's a movie for kids.
>>220704607>It's a movie for kids.No it isn't. It's a movie for families, which includes adults and teens.
>>220703690>revive Pirates of the Caribbean?Jonny Depp is too old.they will 1000 percent replace him with a blacked woman at this age of woke disney.
>>220704607Pixar animations have tons of jokes for adults only, get over it.
>>220704607>Are you daft, or did you just come out of a test tube as a 35 year-old? Idk I've never watched SpongeBob. It's for kids.
>>220704695Haha get it because he likes the ocean haha
>>220704530Yes, actually. Didn't even look it up but for some reason I'm autistic enough to remember actors and movies instead of something important like my parent's birthdays.
>>220704180Are you seriously not familiar with the concept of a corset?
I would play Black Flag Resynched instead
>>220704472Pirates of the Caribbean is PG13 you fucking nitwit
>>220706010>>220706047>>220706072I wonder if it hurt having your tits that squeezed.
>>220704472>Get the opportunity to explain to your 10 year old son what a whore is>scene makes it clear women dont actually want to be seen as whores>humanizes whores a little bit at the same timeGood scene for a son dad conversation
>>220704385>Remake Curse of the Black Pearl withNo. Just no.We can continue the adventures, but don't remake a perfectly fine movie.
>>220703761he said revive, not tank. No one wants to see darkies in movies
she was hottest in the gentlemen
>>220703761Only whites and Asians ever built ships to sail the seas. Nogs never even invented the wheel to put on wheel barrel or bicycle.
>>220703690I wouldn't. You don't need to revive every random fucking thing. It's okay for some things to stay dead.
Why do British women give off such a porn vibe?
>>220706102like bags of sand and salty coins
>>220704180Even PotC made Keira's tits look decent
>>220706628Keria was only 17 in the first movie......
>>220703690it's about somalian pirates in modern somalia.It can still have fantastical elements but it just has to be in that setting.Wouldn't that be fun? I think it'd be ludokino
>>220706343Yeah and that's why black women have the strongest necks and best posture
>>220706102probably
In real life, that woman would be brutally raped right there, wouldn't she?
>>220703690give it a couple years to build hype again>but how does that help this financial quartereat shit. retarded troll OP
>>220704472i agree that it's stupid but think it could work better if the whole thing were truncated somehow. it didn't need the pause and all the jokes about the pirates not understanding what 'horology' is. i think it would work better if sparrow or one of the pirates just had some comment about being a whore, without pause, and the woman immediately correcting him. it would still be stupid, but it wouldn't be nearly as long as stupid as it is.
>>220703690>>220704695>>220706010all i can think about when i watch these movies is how they all smelled. then i don't want to watch it anymore. and this isn't even one of the scenes with the ghost who are literal rotting corpses.
Nobody messes with the Master
>>220706796BS
>>220707911I meant how would you revive the box office numbers while keeping it an annual cash grab and nothing more.
>go to make a pirates of the caribbean thread>its literally the first thread i seeI just got back from Goodwill, I got the trilogy on bluray for $6. I've never watched one of these movies, what am I in for?
>>220703742it's amazing that for a series of movies involving cool ships and cannons 99% of them is just retards yapping
>>220708100The first one is the definition of a 9/10 movie. It's original, exciting, well written scored cast and acted. If not for some iffy pacing, it would be a 10/10. The other two are part i and ii of a 5/10 flick that's incredibly reactive against everything which made the first one great, except zany Jack.
>>220708070Its true. She was also only 16 in Dr Zhivago when she had a sex scene with a 30 year old actor and she was only 15 in The Hole when she had a topless scene and a scene where she was surrounded by several full frontal nude guys in a locker room.
>>220703690Combine it with another old attraction.
>>220707957Believe it or not, people back then knew about hygiene and washing
>>220703690By making it good
>>220708341i know they did. but when you're at sea for months at a time, hygiene and washing don't happen as often, period. and that's true today. i wouldn't dare go out in public after ocean sailing and i've only done a week at most.
See how just this one scene of Moby Nick attacking the Essex mogs the pirates in the caribbean silliness for kids?https://youtube.com/shorts/29_BPGCuo-w
>>220708100Just remember they are written for the age 5 to 10 range. Silly playful stuff like Peter Pan
>>220704180She just had a kid. There´s a pic of her pumping milk while making this film.
>>220703690Impure reincarnation.
>>220708700your microbiome is unhealthy due to modern slop food eaten to excess. Those people are skinnier than you and more physically active, they probably would smell better.
>>220708700They would literally wash with sea water
>>220704112OMG WHOEVER WROTE THAT IS A GENIUS
>>220706102Keira Knightley did it first.
>>220706397She's Italian.
>>220709064Edo Tensei?
>>220703690It's not fair that some people are born this attractive and get to live their entire lives automatically on easy mode.
I like the first three movies and retcon the others.If I were to revive it I would probably work around the story of "Davy Jones" and his love for the GoddessHow did they meet, how was she captured, why was she captured, why didn't she meet him at the beach, Davy Jones not guiding souls to the afterlife, what are the real ramifications of not doing so?Is he fucking up some cosmic order or something, etc
>>220709373Дa
>>220703690Stop putting feminist bullshit into it for startersReally though I think the first movie was more than enough>>220703761Its Pirates not Native tribals whose only sail craft were very basic rafts
>>220709421>he hasn't even awakened the Rinnegan
>>220709406more importantly, what is the point of Jack Sparrow or any human being, or any sailing ship in a world where Davy Jones exists? He can just fast travel under the ocean and he's immortal. Actually a body shifting demon.
>>220703690>restore Jack Sparrow to his 1st movie self.>More sea and ship battles.>Less cg>less retarded shit like the heist>no insane kike fag niggershit muh women crap>focus on the adventure aspect>no world ending tier bs device>focus on developing new characters
>>220704410>bongs return them to africa>theyre instantly enslaved or torture raped to death by the same tribe who did it in the first place
>>220709309Keira Knightley also did this >>220708142
>>220709619Thora Birch sexed it up pretty good in The Hole as well
>>220703761pirates of the carribeans were yuros you dummie
2 conditions:Johnny Depp needs to get ripped. yeah he is old but he can still roid. Jack Sparrow has to be the action centerpiece of the movie, now a walking clown like the latter two movies. As he is now he is too bloated.Gore Verbinski has to comeback. The guy knew what he was doing.
>>220703690By cumming inside Kaya repeatedly.
>>220703690interracial romances
I would simply make every character in the movie, including Jack Sparrow, the skeletons, and the fish monsters, have really fucking huge titties. Sweeney is a medium in my vision. We go much bigger.
>>220709950this is the way
>>220709406>>220709482True. We need more. He's pretty much like death rider?>>220709950This is perhaps the solution to all of media.
>>220710097you mean Ghost Rider? What are some other superheroes from Ghost Rider that could be in POTC, is Lobo in that universe?
>>220710142I could see characters associated with the Red and the Green from DC comics working in POTC. Poison Ivy, Animal Man, Swamp Thing, etc.
>>220710293why not just make DC content where they go to the caribbean, like xmen first class? Davy Jones could appear in a DC work much more easily than those could fit in potc.
>>220703761I honestly cant tell if this is just bait or if you are actually retarded.
>>220709096I'm a vegetarian. Probably the same weight.
>>220710333Hey man I'm here for it. I love comic crossovers.
>>220710435That would save the POTC universe if Davy Jones crosses over to some comic book permanently.
>>220710142Oh yeah Ghost rider, wtf was I thinking.Yeah Ghost rider is what I meant kek
>>220703690full frontal nudity and dirty pirate on english colonial princess rape
>>220710446He'd have to go to Marvel comics, since he's a Disney character.
>>220703690Its all been done. Depp looks like shit now. Only thing would be with the original cast, with some amazing story, but it aint happening with the writers thesed days
>>220706096BOOBIS?!
>>220704695feet
>>220706102I knew a woman and she said it hurt.
damsel in distress is thin plot and only goes so far
>>220710754>damsel in distressif only there were other things going on in the Caribbean
>>220705823So is Spongebob retard
>>220708700>but when you're at sea for months at a time, hygiene and washing don't happen as often, period>put a bucket on a rope>lower the rope into the sea>lift the rope>pour the water over your headYeah, really hard.
>>220703690Completely new story and cast. No one returns.Events of the previous films are not referenced and are not considered canon.Only the name and general aesthetic is kept.Pete Davidson lead.Aaron Taylor-Johnson as a villain.Isabela Merced as co-lead/girlKathryn Newton sidekick to lead girl
>>220703690By addressing the importance of women and the hidden queerness of piracy
they had a bunch of movies already
>>220710422>only eats the food that gets sprayed with poison
>>220706010>>220706047>>220706072>>220706096Goofy but qt bong chicks are my weakness. t. white Amerishat. We never stopped caring.
>>220711781So you're going to pull a Producers and purposely make a flop to keep most of the money?The correct answer is you don't fix it. You let it stay dead.
>>220709619>15 bad>16 good
>>220703690POTC’s constant juggling between being an adult movie and a kiddy Disney movie makes it feel uncanny af honestly. Almost like a Bollywood film.
>>220711920What? Where does it say that?
>>220711907like it or not Pete is the perfect pirate captain, and women fucking love him
>>220703690Prequel trilogy series with young jack and barbossa seems to be the obvious choice.
>>220709547Is that how it went down?Well you'd probably have a better chance in Africa than the guarantee of being a slave in the West.Plus the idea is to kill the trade so there isn't any incentive to capture slaves.
>>220703690I wouldn't revive any fucking franchise, because I am neither a creatively bankrupt slop peddler, nor an autistic onions drinking slop consumer such as yourself.
>>220712367ok but Keira Knightley did this >>220708142
>>220706276>No one wants to see darkies in moviesCope.
>>220709309Keira doesn't have boobs.
>>220712347She nearly has a unibrow but why is this so hot?
>>220712422>She nearly has a unibrowwtf
>>220712412gag. you cope.
>>220703761I would pay to see a movie with a bunch of Jamaican pirates but only if they’re comically racist archetypes
>>220712422I think you are becoming too complacent with a generation of women who have completely removed their eyebrows for some fucked up reason
>>220703761the Caribbean was white though. that's how colonialism worked.
>>220712418
>>220712482she has never had boobs, you retard
>>220703690Bring back Johnny Depp and have Amber Turd play the antagonist. That's just the kind of stunt casting that would be irresistible to the normals. Trainwreckino.
You know she's a legit Brazilian since she got raped by her relative
>>220703690>How would you revive Pirates of the Caribbean?More Eldritch horror with Davey Jones crab-space. Steal Assassin's Creed Pirate colony/government stuff and Ancient Aliens. Show the British still engaged in Triangular Trade human slave trafficking on the downlow.
>>220703690¿JAAAG ESPARRRRO?
>>220712838https://old.reddit.com/r/ENFzone/comments/1rwlkst/enf_on_tv_caught_in_only_panties_lisa_backwell_in/
>>220703690Vince Vaughn as jack sparrow. And Kevin heart (maybe Steve buschemi) as will. I think it would be interesting having a hot woman as barbosa. Maybe Amy Schumer, but she would need to tone the humor down a bit. I can also see Halle Berry in a that role. Other than that, they should reboot the original, and keep the story the same but simplified. Like remove 1/3 of the story that makes it too convoluted and replace it with fight scenes. I can image how much fun it would be with Vince Vaughn sarcastically talking to people before an epic sword fight. After the first movie it would be really cool if they can sail between time and space. It opens the franchise up for anything. Imagine a year 6000 pirate movie where they have to adapt to the new times. This also makes it possible to branch out with other movies. Pirates x alien for example. Pirates x avengers. Etc. I’m a writer straight out of school this summer and this is actually something I’ve played around with.
>>220703690>How would you revive Pirates of the Caribbean?I wouldn't. This shit needs to fuck off and die for like a century.
>>220703761Niggers are disgusting and big flaring negro nostrils on screen do not get asses in theater seats. Go look up the Chinese movie posters of TFA and get back to me, boy.
>>220703761The pirates were colonizers too, I know it’s hard to believe people who raided ships and stole constantly for wealth and plunder were colonizers but it’s true Sorry you had to hear it from me
>>220713228and that's what no one did
>>220703690who is she
>>220712412posting the most bleached octoroon mutt is never helping your case
>>220715083Her father is fully black
>>220712598>hairy forearmsewwwww
>>220704180Corset + they make up tit lines to make cleavage look bigger
>>220712330>>220712338>>220712347Fucking love corset breathing
>>220703690Why would I revive PotC instead of just starting my own new fresh pirate movie IP?
>>220703690The proper way to do it is probably do an origin story on Jack's dad and the build up of all the things that went into capturing Calypso.
>>220703690>Jenna Ortega plays Jack Sparrow's daughter>she has a (heated) rivalry with Barbossa's daughter (played by Anya)>they compete to get Mac Muffin>but Davy Jones comes back somehow and they have to team up>they beat Davy Jones>final scene of the movie is them marrying each otherGuaranteed 3 billies easy
>>220704695He got paid to do this btw
Have Disney offer a full public apology to Depp and full ownership of the character including creative control in a new three film series.
>>220716381Age of sail pirate fantasy. It's a setting.
>>220704410the brits who do the anti slaving are black (it was normal that they were everywhere back then, they were even members of the royal family remember?) White crew are all begrudgingly working under the blacks and not wanting to free slaves, there is a mutiny etc etc
>>220703690There is a lack of pirate films nowadays. It's such a fascinating era.If we have to keep in line with the composition of the Disney PotC franchise.Maybe make a reboot that is more like the first film. Less supernatural stuff and CGI as well. The franchise is basically built around Johnny Depp so I'm not sure if you can have a different cast at all.
>>220703690>>220704112>>220706010>>220706047>>220706072what is that particular anglo phenotype called? Apart from wife?
>>220706804It could actually be fun if they decide to go full niggaObviously it won't happen in current year
>>220703690I wouldn't. Franchises suck.
>>220706096>>220706072>>220706047They can girlboss all they want, my only demand for a sequel or reboot is heaving bosoms
>>220715321ok, and? You posted one of the lightest Whitewashed negroes you could find.
>>220711898stay away, Hernandez.
>>220706278a true patrician
Make the movie about treasure and ghosts and not women.
>>220703690>How would you revive Pirates of the Caribbean?I wouldn't. They aren't even that old either. Last one came out in the 2010s.Focus on 1980s franchises that actually need a revival.
>>220717356she's part brapzilian and got raped by her cousins
>>220703690I could use one more pirates movies, but I think Johnny Depp doesn't want to do anymore. there was supposed to be 7, but johnny quit after the 5th one
>>220715383bet her pussy and butthole is hairy, yum yum
>>220704472i don't get it
>>220706102not as much as it makes it harder to breathe
>>220703690Make a gritty r-rated historical action adventure film with full frontal nudity and bloody dismemberment.
>>220706010>>220706047>>220706072>>220706096>they never even considered her for Lara Croft
>>220719467We have literally seen it. It´s not. But there was a nipple ring.
>>220711898she's only half bong, a mutt as they would say>Amerimutts hahaand so forth
>>220703690Why? Only first two are good and three is a weird cheesecake movie. You can't recapture that essence.
>>220719633Well, she didn´t had the tits to work with like Jolie, nor the sex appeal of a 10 year old boy the producers wanted, like Vikander.
>>220715383She's Portuguese, what else would make sense?
>>220715383What's up with women not shaving their forearms recently? All of the women in my pilates class have hairy forearms. It's fucking disgusting.
>>220703690I wouldn't but since they also own the IP, just make a monkey island movie. They could as easily make them in the same universe with Guybrush aspiring to be as famous as Jack Sparrow and work him into the ending.
>>220719831For some reason shaving your arms never took off like legs. I thought it was weird when an Indian girl I knew said she shaved her arms, but she really did get pretty hairy if childhood photos are to be believed
>you know what I’ll do after we lift the curse?>Suck a whole lot of dicks and eat tons of shit
>>220703690They are doing that. Sort of:https://people.com/pirates-of-the-caribbean-closes-today-for-an-unknown-period-at-disneyland-11963147
>>220704112I thought they understood it as "urologist". Am I too smart or too dumb?
>>220719720The mermaid romance in 4 had some charm, but yeah, everything past 3 progressively lost heart
>>220720111I don't think urology existed as a field during the age of sail, however timekeeping was flourishing
>>220712412This is unironically Malcolm X's nightmare He knew the lust white women caused and knew redboned tit queens would end the black race as a whole
>>220707957They smelled like Old Spice
>>220719831>women with hairy arms>pilates classbet their bulge is bigger than yours
>>220704695
>>220703690Another opening scene where they hang some pretty ladies in pretty dresses and you get to see their feet dangle from their dresses in the low shot.
>>2207037421 and 2 are good. 4 is a guilty pleasure of mine. 3 and 5 are pretty bad
>>220704112they really made it a sitcom
>>220703690Make it pirates of the Mediterranean.
>>220704112>>220706010Why were they so proud of this joke that they let it drag on for this long?
>>220703690You can´t but, hypothetically speaking, the best way is to just make all kind of self contained pirate movies that share the brand name. No sequels and definitely no cinematic universe shit. Just stand alone movies about pirates.
>>220720111wtf, is this real?
>>220703690tell a different story in the same universe, like rogue one did
>>220723714Cats aren´t adapted to bipedestation. Let´s leave at that.
>>220703761If bait, terrific.If not, you're an idiot.
>>220703690Pirates of the Caribbean and the Curse of the Pearl Necklace
>>220704112bazinga
>>220704180Probably same reason as Constanze in Amadeus.The dress.
>>220703690more corsets
>>220725626I am compelled to entertain everyone with my original operetta composed for the bongo drums
Pirates of the Caribbean in Space. Make it a Star Wars crossover where they clone Jack Sparrow and he becomes the galaxies greatest bounty hunter in the old republic era.
>>220706047I love frizzy hair on girls bros
>>220703690I will need Keira to sit on my face for brainstorming sessions. Of which there will be hundreds.
>>220725731I love heaving tits on girls.
>>220706149Curse of the Black Pearl has three major, specific issues, and two overarching issues that could all be rectified.>Will Turner>Elizabeth Swann>The edit during the climax, wherein Jack shoots Barbossa before the curse is lifted, yet somehow he still suffers the wound>Poor attempts at comedy>General issues with pacingFar from a perfect movie. It's 5/10, really only worthwhile for Geoffrey Rush.
make it closer to the original ride or treasure island. classic pirate tropes. not the blockbuster woke shit.
>>220726407tfw the only good part of Dead Man's Chest is the absolute last scene
>>220703690I wouldn't.I'd just make a new story with pirates.
>>220726548Would rape be featured, mentioned or merely hinted at?
>>220706343>Asians>built ships to sail the seas.based retardnignogs in somalia and the swahili probably spent more time sailing the sea than chinks ever did
>>220706102Imagine you have much larger nuts. Now squeeze em. Feels like that.
>>220716335sauce
>>220706102Had a gf who said her tits hurt at that time of the month. But they were fair game to play with the rest of the time. I miss that.
>>220725626Didn't he say "eat my shit" in that? I haven't seen it since it was new.
Make it modern day Houthi pirate movie
>>220712412based
>>220719905>please Sparrow, I'll do anything!
>>220726573It would be a constant and relentless feature of the storyline.Like how driving is a big part of Fury Road.
>>220704112Literally could have just included Jack's reaction and it would have been funnier.
>>220719633Wow she would have been perfect for that role, too bad Embracer owns the ip
>>220707396That's great! It should help them to uhhhh collect unemployment and food stamps.
>>220726891Funding approved
do the odyssey
>>220703690>Pirates of the Caribbean: 30XX>In the far future, the Neo-Caribbean has once again become a hotbed of piracy and adventure
