WTF was even the point of Slytherin? Everyone considered them heckin' nazi chuds to the point that even Dumbledore constantly dunked on them with stuff like the House Cup. Was it just controlled opposition?
masturbation
I would've fucked the girl on the right
represents the kids who don't get you in skool. probably more charismatic than you and have a mild attitude or swagger. You're just a little princess though who needs teacher to give you a gold star for not crying during a test so they have to be bad because popular.
>>221231858I would've flay you alive
>>221231834If you watch the first movie they explain how there were 4 great wizards who founded the 4 schools in harry potterGodric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. The names aren't random, they signify the personalities of the founding Wizards Slytherin is like America allowing slavery to introduce southern states into the Union
>>221231834In some instances, being the underdog compels you to achieve great heights and since you have little to lose you are able deal with massive sacrificesHarry Potter wasn't one of those stories though, so you guess is as good as mine, OP
>>221231834>“Yes yes well done first years, well done first years, HOWEVER, some of you were sorted into Slytherin.”>The new Slytherin students look confused, not understanding whether or not this is a joke. The older ones tense up. They know it’s not. >“Oh well, nothing can be done about it. Enjoy the feast!”>Dumbledore waves his hand and the food appears. >Goyle is just about to tuck in when suddenly Dumbledore appears behind him, holding a tray of mashed potatoes.>“Food fight!” yells the old man, covering Goyle in the lumpy potatoes, before pouring an entire tureen of gravy down Malfoy’s shirt.>Laughing, a young Slytherin boy throws a handful of peas at Dumbledore.>“What in the name of CUNTING FUCK do you think you’re doing?! You rat fuck scum! YOU RAT FUCK SCUM!!” shrieked Dumbledore calmly, drawing his wand.>The boy started stammering an answer. >“crucio” hissed the headmaster, sending the boy spasming and screaming to the ground. >“That’s what you serpents get when you act up and get violent.”>Dumbledore began stretching his legs up to the teachers table, taking great care to stomp the boy who’d dared assault him. The poor child went limp, blood leaking from his caved in skull.>Then halfway, the headmaster stopped, and turned back to the students. >“WELL???!?!?” he enquired.>Solemnly, members of the other three houses stood up and began pelting the Slytherins with the rotten fruit and vegetables that had replaced the feast. >giggling to himself, Dumbledore liberated the one remaining bowl of sherbert lemons, and retired for the evening.
>could've had Harry, Hermione, Ron & Draco all in different houses coming together to save Hogwarts>instead all the goodies are in Gryffindor and Slytherin are comically evil>the other houses are irrelevantBravo JKR
>>221232059how do you retire for an evening, retard? he has tenure and just started a war, he's like netanyahu, not going anywhere.
>>221232113amazing post. funnier than any greentext I could write. I yield.
>>221232196>INT. COMPUTER DESK - NIGHT>A single desk lamp illuminates the room. HANDSOMEMAN sits staring at a glowing monitor. The screen shows a (you): "amazing post. funnier than any greentext I could write. I yield.">Handsomeman’s eyes narrow. He cracks his knuckles. His face turns bright red with misplaced fury. He slams his fists onto the desk and stands up, gesturing wildly at the screen.>HANDSOMEMAN: You yield? You yield?! Oh, how incredibly magnanimous of you! Who even asked you to step onto the battlefield, you absolute coward? What, you think you can just come into my notifications, throw up a white flag, and act like you’ve done something noble?>(he paces around the room, mimicking a whiny voice)>"Oh, look at me, I yield, I’m so humble." Please! I don’t want your pity submission! If you're going to come at the king, you come correct! You don't just wave a little white handkerchief and walk away! I am a comedy sniper, a literary maestro, and you think you can just gracefully bow out and rob me of a proper internet argument?!>(he stops pacing, leans in close to the monitor, and squints at the text)>You think you can just insult my... wait.>(he reads the message again, tracing the words with his index finger)>"Amazing... post. Funnier... than any... I could... write.">(a long, dead silence fills the room)>Oh.>(he slowly sits back down in his chair, clearing his throat awkwardly)>They... actually thought it was funny. They said it was better than what they could write. Huh. >That’s... actually really nice of them. Wow.>(he adjusts his collar, smiles sheepishly, and types a reply)>“Thanks, mate! Appreciate the support!”
>>221231944>Founder of evil house has a foreign first nameLul
>>221231834It took my dumb ass a worryingly long time to realise that Malfoy wasn't wearing a beret at a jaunty angle here
>>221231834>WTF was even the point of Slytherin?House for the elitists. For children with high ambition, or rather children of parents with high ambition.Also, easily the house with the hottest girls. Smugness and an air of superiority really work well for young girls. Pansy (girl in your pic) being the prime example.Better question: What the fuck was the point of Gryffindor? That house is filled with literal retards and potential Darwin-award winners who have no capacity of risk-aversion or even common sense and are always on the verge of doing something incredibly stupid to get themselves killed. They, as well as the fucking sorting hat, seem to confuse courage with overconfidence.Hypothetically, Gryffindors are supposed to be more physically active and athletic than other houses, i.e. the "jocks", but that really doesn't show, considering they don't dominate the Quidditch school contest and the main candidate for the Triwizard cup ended up being a Hufflepuff.
>>221232295I don't recall Travolta in Sopranos?
>>221231944>[thing] is just like heckin slavery DON'T YOU GET HOW EVIL THEY ARE?
>>221232558Actually I meant they were confederates in a good wayHarry Potter is basically Anne Frank. He even lives in hiding, and the confederates liberate him from bondage
What even was the point of house elves. In one of the movies, it showed the Wesley household with the dishes washing themselves and the broom sweeping on its own. Malfoy's dad wanted the house elf anyway.>I can't enjoy a clean household unless I known something suffered cleaning it
>>221232611>from bondageI always had a feeling that Ginny was into that shit.
>>221232638House elves can cook. According to Rowling, you cannot automate food production for ... reasons.
>>221232653This is why I hate magic in general. So many arbitrary rules for each magical universe.
>>221232287Better yet, he's Irish
>>221232267HANDSOMEMAN, I hope you get the glasses you need. To help you read posts without squinting. <3
>>221232782Fucking really?Harry Potter should’ve been named Johnny English.
>>221232840Thank you citizen. I took the time to check this one, you seem friendly. Have a handsome day!
lifelong connections to other rich/powerful people, which is exactly how British public schools work IRL.
>>221232875in case people don't know who the black guy is, that's president obama.
>>221232875AI slop. No way John Oliver, Harland William, Barack Obama and Sam Hyde went to school together.
>>221232875David Mitchell went to school with Barack Obama and John Oliver?
>>221231834Most of the Slytherin kids had rich as fuck parents so the school couldn't really afford kick them out, just segregate them
>>221232875Mitchell Webb from Look, Mitchell Webb was in Harambe's enclosure with an AI merge of Steven Fry and his current boyfriend, and legendary Community star guy on the left?
>>221231834just jews failing at making them the "bad guy" house
>>221231834Basically JK wrote the books to get over her weird obession with her own school lifeThe Slytherin were meant to be the bullies but overall they weren't really bullies outside of Malfoy disliking Potter and even then, the worst Malfoy did was be mean to Neville. It took Ron physically trying to fucking fight Malfoy and his two freinds before they really gave a fuck to do more than just verbal teasingSo really, Slytherin are the victims and Potter is a bullying cunt
>>221231834Pansy R34....
>>221232611Based right-wing NatSoc hater.
Harry should have just kept questioning malfoys sexuality because of how obsessed he was with him. Even when they go to the slytherin common room in the second book all malfoy talks about is Harry and co
>>221232875>WHADDAYA MEAN FUNNY AND CHARISMATIC PEOPLE FIND AND SOCIALIZE WITH ONE ANOTHER WHEN PLACED IN GROUP SETTINGS!?!?>TELEVISION SHOW SCRIPT WRITERS AREN'T CHOSEN BY A LOTTERY OF THE POPULACE AT RANDOM!?!?>OH MY STALIN, I'M GOING INSAAAAAANE
>>221231834Honesty this is the major plot hole in the HP series that Rowling never addresses. There is literally no redeeming quality that justifies slytherin continuing to exist at any point in the series. All the slytherin wizards are pure evil all the time for generations. Makes zero sense
>>221231834why didn't they show more of her? I think she shows up a grand total of two times or something
>>221232112What do you expect from someone who doesn’t even believe le heckin science!
>>221232638Black slaves in the American South weren’t all that productive either. A lot of the reason the north won the war is because wage slavery was far more productive than chattel slavery
>>221235280Too attractive
>>221235280>>221235345didn't they recast the actress because the first one was too attractive?
>>221235280The character doesn’t do anything at any point. She’s just another lineless background extra to keep track of and hope they don’t chimp out like Crabbe
>>221231858They recast her because she was too pretty for a villainous side character, sad!
>>221231858everyone wanted her to bully them.
>>221235280She exists to be malfoy's token gf, they realised cutting her would appeal to their growing fujo fanbase who wanted to see malfoy fucking harry, or hermione, or bothand it worked btw, on like a billion foids
>>221235249This is how women see the world.
>>221231944no they don't explain that in the first film
>>221231834
>>221235506Villains should hot wtf
>>221231858>she rides you anally while looking you in the eye and calling you a faggot for fucking her in the ass
>>221232059popped my ass
>>221236008I wanna undress her... Ai bros... please
>>221232113esl
>>221236008wtf why is she so hot when all the other hp girls hit the wall so hard??
>>221236008Imagine
Sexoo
>>221231834Peter Pettigrew was in Gryffindor and he was evil.
>>221237275because she is not english
>>221237275Because she’s in only about 10 frames of the entire series so she didn’t sacrifice her life force to the entropic entity that ensnared the public
>>221238318was Pettigrew at all courageous?
>>221239319he ran the risk of looking like that and sleeping in the same room as a kid for two years
>>221236008>>221237275I'm NOOOTICING that recast girls are destined to stay attractive because the jews haven't gotten into them
>>221231834It begs the question why you would still have a house in a school named after a racist evil wizard.It is like having a human school named Jefferson Davis or Adolf Hitler.
>>221231834It's the elite of society. Future politicians and rich business owners. It doesn't matter to them that they are hated in school because school isn't real life.
>>221231858Rowling knows, which is why she had the actress replaced with a mutt mystery meat.Pansy Parkinson is a representation of girls that bullied her in the school, which is why she doesn't get Draco and must be played by the uggo
>>221239319The hat let's you choose your house if you want
>>221236008muh dick
>>221231834If everyone hates slytherines when the hat senses you are one why aren’t you just cast into a pit of magical fire? And why are all the slytherines white?
>>221231858She's a child
>>221232875>British public schools>is actually private schools
>>221235067you're telling me this guy opposed the people who wanted to improve the genetic stock of Germany? You're kidding.
>>221231922ywds
Engorgio Hermione's breasts!
Harry Potter was not meant to be taken too seriously. It was intended as a light hearted kids fantasy. Yeah the world building didn't make too much sense but so what it was similar to Willy Wonka nobody cares how good the worldbuilding is. But then Rowling decided to turn it into a grimdark serious fantasy midway through so the mediocre worldbuilding established in the earlier books now needed to actually make sense which it obviously didn't.
>>221232112You forgot cedric diggory, who's cool because he just was, okay?? He's from hufflepuff
>>221237692Meh. Potter doesn't come anywhere close to being good enough for her.
>>221231944The blood purist boarding school house are not like miscegenation central. The Slytherins didn't not roam around looking for muggles to keep in the dungeon and mate together.
>>221236008Fuck.>>221237275She's Dutch and Scottish.
>>221239806>why you would still have a house in a school named after a racist evil wizard.The US does it all the time, anon. How many fucking things are named after Washington?
>>221239806He did great things, the big man, great and terrible things.
>>221231834It was just bad writing. Draco and his gang being little shits was okay but the entire house being mustache twirling evil was just nonsense. There shouldn't be anything inherently evil about the house that embodies cunning and ambition.
>>221242271Pansy wasn't evil though.She literally tried to save the whole school in the last book by giving Harry to Voldemort, the only student to do so, but MacGonagal shut down her suggestion and got lots of people killed for no good reason. Only for Harry giving himself up anyway, after all those people died.
>Slytherin>Slither in
>>221231858THIS!! and only THIS!! i kneel cunnysseuir-sama
>>221231922>>221240553>t. heckin valid trans girls
>>221231834let me guess the fat one fucked her
ITT: incels mistake evil for the antagonists #10,000
>>221242454So, how would a young Hogwarts student (ouside of Draco's little clique) go about befriending her early on and develop that into a romance over the years?I guess a Slytherin boy, maybe a year older, would have it easiest? She'd feel kinship and maybe look up him a bit. But at the same time, he'd have to find a good excuse to approach her other than "you're so damn cute".Ravenclaw, I could see working out better than you'd expect. Not a weirdo like Luna, of course, but someone who's genuinely witty and confident about it. He'd be able to match her energy, and if he plays to his strenghts and embraces her playing to hers, I feel that having an equal im him could be something she'd really appreciate and a great foundation for a long-term relationship.Now, with Gryffindor it gets complicated. There are, of course, lots of animosities that get drilled into the students of both houses for extremely stupid reasons. And also, Gryffindor students tend to be a bit simpleminded, most of the time. I have a hard time imagining how Pansy would be interested in a Gryffindor boy (romantically or as a friend) other than maybe physical attraction. There is of course the enemies-to-lovers trope, but, really, how would a Gryffindor even get to be a genuine rival she respects? Certainly not by doing dumb shit like Harry's group usually do and getting up in her face about it.And then there's Hufflepuff. No disrespect, they're nice guys. But, yeah, that's the problem. Even someone like Cedric, who is confident and strong, really doesn't have what it takes to handle a girl like Pansy. This one is the one I don't think would ever work.Either way, you'd probably have to get her away from Draco and his dumbass friends. Not only because she has that crush on him (that Rowling never allowed to go anywhere). But also because they're holding her back and monopolizing her time that's obviously better spent with you.
>>221242801Doubt it. She always just had a one-sided crush on Draco. And "the fat one" (Crabbe) was a complete moron literally too stupid to live (got himself killed by his own trap when he tried to kill Harry in the last book) who never really interacted with her. They both quite literally were just there for Draco.
>>221231834Slytherins exist to do the dirty work Gryffindors are too "honorable" to touch. It's basically the "bad men keeping the other bad men from the door" trope. Snape spent decades playing the villain and being hated by everyone just to spy on Voldemort. If it was left up to Gryffindors, they'd get everyone killed trying to fight a duel on an "honorable" open field.
>>221243325>If it was left up to Gryffindors, they'd get everyone killed trying to fight a duel on an "honorable" open field.Nah. Don't forget that the guy who delegated Snape, and the actual evil mastermind character of the series, Bumblebee, was a Gryffindor. While it's true that many of them are honourable simpletons, every now and then you get some outlier arsehole like him who's willing to cross a few moral lines for "muh greater good" as well. For better or worse.
>>221243366True, but Dumbledore still had to outsource the actual grimy work to a Slytherin. He had to maintain his public "beacon of light" image to keep wizard morale up, so he used Snape to do the actual lying, spying, and soul crushing double agent work in the dark. Gryffindors can plan the morally gray stuff, but they still need Slytherins to execute it so they can keep their hands clean.
>>221242454peak hermione movie 3 and this cutie, uoohThey deprived us of a catfight...
>>221231858She's only 17 you sick fuckin pedo
Looking forward to seeing new Pansy in the HBO series. Particularly because she'll probably be a bit more involved than she was in the films.Hoping Rowling hasn't the actress fired again for being too pretty.
>>221244281I think she was 12 or 13, actually.Not really relevant though, because she's now in her mid-30s and still looks pretty much the same.
