>Hey Alan, how about I rape your faggot son in his sleep
>"traaaaaaanss"
>>221355258>But Charlie, you already gave him aids last week!>Audience laughs and applauds
April Bowlby is very pretty.
>>221355258Wait, don't you have AIDS?
I wanted to fuck Alan's ex-wife
>>221355377hey, me too!
>>221355405Meeeeeeeeen!
>>221355315She's stunning but her feet are way too huge. Like enormous.
>>221355535Just like her boobs>Meeeeeeeen
>>221355258>Those legsI thought Charlie Sheen had aids, not polio.
>>221355856>Meeeeeeen!
>>221355856Everyone in Hollywood has stick legs, they never walk anywhere.
>>221355258I literally can't stop laughing, why was this so funny to me
>charlie comes down the stairs hungover and disheveled >audience chuckles >Alan: umm, Charlie? Did you just have SEX?>audience erupts into laughter >what can I say Alan, I have sex, you should try it sometime >audience can be heard pissing and pooping their trousers from gut busting laughter >jake: whoah uncle Charlie had SEX!MEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN
>>221355315She still looks good btw, what a specimen.
>>221355856Women don't give a shit about legs. Only homosexual bodybuilders care. Shove it.
>>221355377>>221355405>>221355451kek
>>221355258still the best sitcom ever. not after 2011,of course
>>221355535perfect fit for my oversized cock>Meeeeeen
>>221355258Charlie liked the company But Alan being a stingy fuck was annoying as shit. Bro made good money.
vem comer macacada e eu tinha entendido Macacá. ficamos gastando 2003
Did they really expect anyone to be able to suspend their disbelief about Alan being a flaming faggot? They couldn't have found any other actor?
>it's a Jake thinks Charlie loves him and they're going to get married after he cornholed him by the shed again episode
>>221357394who give a shit about what women give a shit?
>>221355258>Charlie's in bed smoking a cigar, gleefully musing over his new unlimited-access pass to the premium adult channels on his cable subscription>He leans over to pick up the remote, and takes a sip from his scotch glass, and then, grinning, navigates to the first channel, "Huge Asses".>Ten second laugh track>The door suddenly slams violently open, knocking the luxury flat-screen TV off its hinges, it goes crashing down to the floor. A dishevelled Alan stands in the doorway, eyes wide. He's covered in sick.>Charlie blinks, stares up calmly at his brother>"Alan. Get out of my house.">Cue ten second laugh track>Alan suddenly shakes himself back to life, flinging globs of sick over Charlie's bedroom carpet>"Charlie, you've gotta help!" Alan pleads, pacing back and forth near Charlie's bed. "It's Jake, I don't know what to do!">Charlie sighs and takes a puff of his cigar. "What's the little squirt gotten himself up to this time? Too many jelly donuts?">Alan wrestles with his hair. "No. He's dead Charlie.">"Like dead... dead?">Alan stops, teeth clattering. "Yes dead-dead! What other kind of dead is there?!">"Oh boy..." Charlie sighs and resignedly offers Alan a cigar. His brother takes it, and then shamelessly pilfers two more. Charlie glares at him.>Ten second laugh track
>>221361743>They're in the kitchen. Vomit surrounds the bloated corpse of Charlie's fat nephew. Drug paraphernalia is strewn on the nearby table.>"What am I gonna do Charlie? Judith is coming over to pick him up in just two hours!">Charlie rolls his eyes as he leafs idly through a TV catalogue. "Jeez Alan, I dunno? Maybe call the cops or something? You know for how much you complain about the whole alimony thing, I thought you'd be happy with the little toilet blocker kicking the bucket.">Berta walks in, takes one look at Jake's corpse>Alan begins frantically wiping the sick off on to Charlie's furniture. "We just found him like this, honest!">Berta rolls her enormous goitre neck over to Charlie and blinks. "I know a guy who can make all this disappear, no questions.">"You... just happen to know a guy, who can do exactly that?" Charlie says, rolling past another page. "Oooh, 60 inch, plasma. Neato.">"He might have been one of my ex-husbands," Berta admits. "We used to ride in a biker gang. I've seen this all before.">"What do you need?" Alan asks, brushing sick through his thinning hair. "Anything, honest, we'll be happy to provide!">"We?" Charlie says, perching his brow.>"Well... I mean, come on Charlie, you can't just expect me to have the sort of money for this can you? I mean, I've still got to think about the alimony and everything...">Charlie sighs and reaches for his wallet, fingering through a furl of notes. "Fine.">He pries out a neat bundle and passes it over to Berta, who stares back flatly>Charlie sighs again and pulls out another stack>Berta takes it, and then continues staring, her expression like granite>Charlie groans and passes over his entire wallet. "Alright, alright... just get the little fart ball out of my kitchen and make sure the floor's spotless. Oh," Charlie snorts, gesturing to Alan with his thumb, "and while you're at it, see if you can't get this guy out of my house too."Men men men men menly men men men.... mennnnn
>>221361743>>221361874tldr?
>>221361025Lmao
>>221355377She was sooooo fucking hot dude
>>221361743>His brother takes it, and then shamelessly pilfers two more. Charlie glares at him.Something about Alan's constant cheapness never fails to amuse and infuriate me.
Can't watch this show ever againNot since I learned Sarah Paulson was diving face first into the dried up old pustulent pussy flaps of Charlie's decrepit motherIt's all I can think aboutPaulson's big smiling maternal face, equal parts ingenuous and devious, slathered in a thick membrane of sickly purple slime sloughing off Charlie's mother's rotten labial salad. The fetid soup of cobweb pubes and brothy mucus slurped upon by Paulson's fervent coiling tongue, diving deep into the dusty old quivering vacuum-bag of a living fossil. The leathery mottled back of Charlie's mother contorting as Paulson's massive forehead nuzzles broadly against that grizzled woman's ancient bullet-like clitoris. Overstimulating to the point of Charlie's Mom's unbearable screams of death-rattled agony and thick, yeasty, explosive queefs. The sound you may ask? Like an old donkey choking.No, never again. Not watching.
>>221355258>what, what?>why wouldn't you just do normal gay sex with him?
>>221356880winner
>>221355258>Why wait for him to fall asleep?>Just hand him a slice of pizza right now and you can fuck his fat ass without him noticingMeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
>>221355535Her feet are perfect Alan, you fag. The boobs seem to have taken an L over the last 20 years, but I'd still stick my tongue up her butthole any day of the week, twice and a half on a Sunday.
>>221364313She was great in Doom Patrol.
>>221364313Brother, I hate to break it to you, but she looks exactly like the kind of health-conscious, yoga-practicing, spiritually-inclined woman that's got a real messy butthole situation. We're talking semi-solid stools at best, and she'd be crying her eyes out for the whole day afterward. A gravel avalanche of partially digested brown corny froth comprises the majority of her bowel movements, and you can trust me on that. I've got a sixth sense for that sort of thing. Put me in front of a line of women and I can you you just from looking at their thighs alone whether they're squeezing out olympian pringles-can sized unbroken logs or squirting out hailstorms of rabbit pellets. Either way, we're talking beans, superfoods from the third world in burlap sacks, cruciferous vegetative matter, coffee. It's a one-way street to an entire fleet of turd refugees turning up at the doorstep of your tongue when you're poking around in there.
>>221364558God I am so erect right now
