No way it's better than Jurassic park 2

>>221392763
I'd say it's on par, but TLW isn't a great movie.

>>221392812
kys you lying shill

It's a low bar, but i agree. Doesn't touch the original, but it was the best of the sequels in the sense that it is the platonic ideal of the cash grab sequel: it gives you that JP feeling/vibe and it keeps you entertained for 2 hours.

And yes, it is better than JP2. Don't know what Spielberg was smoking there, but JP2 is a whack flick in so many ways, even if it still does have nuggets of kino here and there.

People don't actually know why they think JP2 is bad. They just hear that it is and then parrot this opinion.

>Tard Rex
No, this is thee worst.

>>221392957
Malcom is a different and more boring character than he was in the first one, and he's the main character now. That's problem 1.
The vibe is off, it feels less kino, as if Spielberg wasn't really feeling it.
Story isn't all that engaging.
Gymnastics.
Etc.

>bunch of lab workers die because a Snickers wrapper gets sucked into a vent, and somehow just 1 door jamming causes all the facility's other doors to also malfunction
>mosasaur and pterosaurs are referred to as dinosaurs, by a scientist who should know better
>Mahershala appears to face certain death, he's fine a few minutes later, the movie didn't know or didn't care to show us what happened in between
>cute little backpack size protoceratops is there, purely for merchandising reasons, and does absolutely nothing
>having shots like a creature staring at a reflection and getting tricked by it, for no reason other than as memberberries

Fuck you.

>>221392736
Shut the fuck up, faggot.

>>221393003
You are a retard.

The camper sequence alone is better than literally anything in the five films that followed it, and even it's one of several well executed and kino sequences sprinkled throughout the movie. A few lame moments and nitpicks don't break the movie.

Also, there isn't a single likeble or memorable character in Rebirth. It's the most paint by numbers Jurassic movie ever made.

>>221393075
It's bad to the point where you wish it was some sort of self-aware satire of earlier Jurassic movies. But it's not. It's slow paced and wants to be taken seriously as seen as "restrained" while doing all the insultingly dumb shit

>>221393164
The camper sequence is good. But again, the movie's fatal flaws are a boring main character, a boring story, and a sleepy Spielberg.

>>221392957
>>221393003
>>221393164
>>221393259
>some critics consider The Lost World to be Spielberg's worst film effort as a director
Makes me wonder if /tv/ considers Disclosure Day to be better or worse than it

>>221393398
The worst Speilberg film is still better than any of the literal slop that followed by a wide margin.

Also, RPO is obviously his worst film.

>>221392982
I went in expecting to hate the tard rex, but I actually quite liked it. I wish it was in it more, like they got a glimpse of it or something early on after getting stranded on the island. I don't like how it just shows up at the end out of the blue without any build up since the cold open.

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>>221392736
>the best sequel
>going back to the fucking island
>never actually have dinosaurs take over the world like they have been teasing for fucking decades
this franchise is garbage

>>221393075
>mosasaur and pterosaurs are referred to as dinosaurs, by a scientist who should know better
this bothered me, but only a little bit. I don't think it's a massive deal in and of itself, but it's indicative of general blasé attitude the sequels have that the original lacked. The rest of your points don't bother me in the slightest. They could have handled the Snickers wrapper better, but it really didn't bother me. I wanted Mahershala to survive his sacrifice and had the feeling he would, so it didn't seem all that miraculous to me- closer to expected.

>>221392736
It was better than all three Chris Pratt movies but that isn't saying much. I still liked JPIII better though.

>>221393164
The camper sequence is the one good thing in the whole movie. It's not just "a few lame moments and nitpicks" when the whole movie sucks except for a single scene.

>>221393697
The raptor scene was kino up until the KFC gymnastics.

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>>221393631
Hey anon, remember that ending credits scene of pterodactyls flying over Las Vegas? haha, get fucked, that never actually happened. Enjoy your island part 6 slop

>>221393398
Disclosure Day is definitely worse. The Lost World is mediocre Spielberg and a bad Jurassic Park sequel, but it's a decent enough 90s popcorn flick. It's like a really solid creature feature B movie.

>>221393398
Jurassic Park 2 wins because it didnt have a single dinosaur scene where it is wheeled in and doesn't do fucking shit

>>221393697
>Opening Compy sequence
>Stego Sequence
>InGen hunter sequence with all the vehicles
>Tall grass seqeunce
>T Rex Camp attack
>T Rex in San Diego
>any scene with Roland in it

Stop being disengenious, you fucking nigger. There's a ton of memorable stuff packed in there.

>>221393631
There's just not a good way to do that without going hundreds or thousands of years into the future. The idea that a small population of dinosaurs isolated on a few islands would somehow take over the world in less than a decade is patently absurd on its face.

>>221393697
the scene with where they’re driving through the herd of dinosaurs is top tier and so is the long grass scene.

>>221393776
>T Rex in San Diego
The worst part of the entire film and why people don't like the movie.

>>221393799
WRONG

You've clearly never discussed the full with anyone who isn't terminally online

>>221393549
>RPO is obviously his worst
Not sure I agree, I would have to watch it again to see how poorly it's aged. Maybe if Fortnite hadn't become lame and declined, the movie wouldn't have either
Also have to consider the placement of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as one of his worst

>>221393789
Not it doesn't. Just have some undiscovered eggs like they are already doing. Explain them as a breeding boom as they finally stretch out across the ocean. Apocalypse mode of military vs T-rexes is probably the biggest missed opportunity so far

>>221393776
>listing every scene in the movie
We get it, you like JP2. Doesn't change the fact that the camper scene is the only good part of the movie. The tall grass had potential, but it's too short and simple for it to have any real impact.

>>221393799
boomers didn't like it because it was "unrealistic" at the time to have gotten there

>multi billion dollar advanced research facility is defeated by a snickers wrapper
if you unironically enjoyed this shit please check yourself into a retardation hospital immediately

>>221393799
I remember even as a 5 year old when it came out, thinking parts of the San Diego thing were lame. Like having a shot of a group of Asian men running away from it. Yes, Godzilla is also a thing that exists, but where's the cinematic value in referencing it? Or that it's an out of place attempt at humor when people are terrified and getting eaten

>>221393833
>There are no good scenes in this movie
>There are actually lots of good scenes jn the movie
>WOOOOW THEY DON'T COUNT BECAUSE THEY JUST DON'T, OKAY?

Maybe you're just the one with shit taste.

Doubly so if you think any of the sequels did it better.

>>221393776
I'm with you one most of that but the San Diego sequence was wacky as fuck. Like it's America. Motherfuckers would have gunned that T rex down the second it started terrorizing the city

>boat is being chased by violent dinosaurs
>what do we do?
>lets jump into the water

retard movie for retard audience

>>221393900
Blame Californian gun laws

>>221392957
>People don't actually know why they think JP2 is bad
Crichton didn't want to write it.
Spielberg didn't want to direct it.
It really shows and everything just barely hangs together in a dumb excuse so you can have a movie.
>Dood we made this equipment to be as low impact as possible because we don't want to interfere with the dino-OH IS THAT AN INJURED BABY DINOSAUR BRING IT INSIDE NAO!
Malcom's dumb black daughter, and his dumb black daughter saving the day with a pair of conveniently placed uneven bars and a gymnastics routine.
Also the best part of the book is that HALF of the fucking thing is just Crichton responding to fan mail and complaints about the science in the first book. Like the t-rex having motion based vision being dumb and based on bad research.
https://youtu.be/JVho5fU3lwc?si=0jtE3NuJrgLwERQ1

>>221393839
lol the dinosaur DNA movie must have jumped the shark in the sequel

>>221394012
>Crichton didn't want to write it.
>Spielberg didn't want to direct it.
This is not an argument. The same could be said of Godfather 2 and Toy Story 2.
Not wanting to make something initially has no bearing on quality.

>>221393789
a) its a movie
b) Dinos running around and creating a breeding population on the mainland has been there from the prologue of the first book.

>>221392736
I think it sucked and you're a retard so I guess you can say stupid shit like that

>>221393870
It was a trope at the time. Like pointing at something in the sky and saying "It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's ____"

>>221394065
It does when the source material and the guy adapting it visibly do not give a shit and are just going through the motions for a payday.
There's nothing really inspired in the movie, and again pretty much every interesting plot point from the book is jettisoned to just make it a race with some evil company collecting dinosaurs in a collection of vehicles designed to sell toys.
Its perfectly fine if you like it, but liking something doesn't make it good, and you haven't made a single argument why the movie isn't boring uninspired trash for a payday.

>>221394081
>been there from the prologue of the first book
Not to the point where it would make any sense for someone to make a grandiose declaration like "Welcome to Jurassic World" because there will soon be dinos everywhere

>>221392957
>People don't actually know why they think JP2 is bad.
because Malcom is an asinine holier than thou retard who gets everyone killed

>>221394145
*or they think it will happen, they don't know that writers of further sequels will consider the premise of a literal jurassic world to be unworkable and will retcon it

>>221392736
The dude getting vored was hot as fuck

>>221394170
But he was like that in the first one as well.

>>221394213
He didn't get anyone killed in the first movie by acting completely out of character.
He doesn't get anyone killed in the first movie at all. He has a hero moment trying to draw the t rex away from the kids.
In the book he figured out the dinosaurs had broken containment from almost as soon as he gets on the island and he gets injured before he can explain it all. Then when he's back at the center he drifts in and out of a morphine fog to explain to the reader how chaos theory and emergent systems work and how the park was busted from the beginning.
Which makes a lot more sense in the books with hammond being a grouchy old jew who cut every corner he could and not David Attenborough being a warm sincere grandpa.

>>221392957
Non-manchilds dont have nostalgia like (you)

>>221394081
>Dinos running around and creating a breeding population on the mainland has been there from the prologue of the first book.
restricted to a single isolated beach and village, in no way threatening some kind of worldwide takeover. The concerns of mainland contamination are more ecological and theoretical, not "military vs. army of t-rexes" apocalypse.

>>221394262
>He doesn't get anyone killed in the first movie at all.
He got the lawyer killed.

>>221394335
I'm not the same anon but any explanation for not having a real jurasic world is just retarded

>>221394363
The lawyer who got himself killed by abandoning the kids and running out of the jeep long before anyone else had gotten out of the car?
inb4: durr but he led da t-wex to him
No. Don't be willfully dense.

>>221394495
>inb4: durr but he led da t-wex to him
You can't just describe how he got him killed and then pretend it's irrelevant.

>>221394532
Don't be willfully dense.

>>221394495
>>221394532
him running didn't do anything because the t-rex ended up fucking up the jeep anyways. he was just a pussy

>>221394551
He led the t-rex directly to where the lawyer was hiding and then it ate the lawyer. It's pretty straightforward.

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>>221394590
I just re-watched the scene and it was actually the lawyer running that made the T-rex try walking into the fence. After the T-rex tried eating the kids in the jeep he ran from Malcolm led the T-rex back to the lawyer which is deserved whether intentional or not imo

>>221393075
>>221393869
The Snickers wrapper doesn't cause the whole facility to fail, and only one researcher gets killed.

The sequels suck because from the second movie on they switched the genre from suspense thriller to action adventure. All the best set pieces: everything from the first movie, the camper and long grass from the second, the birdcage from the third, and the raft scene from this one, are all set pieces built around suspense, not sick dino action.

People don't want dino action, they want suspenseful, terrifying dino stalking.

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>>221394753
You might be right about only one death there, I thought it was implied that other off-screen creatures got loose, it's unclear.
The wrapper does indeed cause the whole facility or at least a large portion of it to fail, though. Monitor goes
>SECURITY DISABLED! REBOOTING!
with multiple other rooms and doors on the map flashing red at the same time.

Also retarded is how the scene takes place in 2010 but some of the tech like this, which should be pretty important, looks like it's from the 1980s or earlier. InGen is not a small stingy company which would cheap out on this stuff

>>221395753
The tech in this movie really bothered me, same with all the Jurassic World movies. Why does all the high tech stuff have to look like faux futuristic bullshit? What's with those hazmat suits? What even is the navigation table on their boat? The JW movies are littered with this stuff and it's so distracting. The original movie's idea of high tech was a bunch of Apple computers. The only bad part of the original movie was the weird file structure interface Lex navigates to activate the door locks, and it's like the JW movies doubled down on that bullshit.

It makes the screen you're referencing stick out like a sore thumb and feel totally out of place.

>>221393869
I have no candy at home. Whenever I'm at the store I'm like I should get some, I'll want some later. But then I'm like, nooo muh diet. But then I want the candy later and I have none and that shit sucks.

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>>221392957
All of the protagonists are actively antisocial psychopaths that cause the most deaths the entire movie with the exception of Eddy who is torn in half trying to rescue the actively malicious retards. In a just world Ingen would have executed those retards for stranding them all on the island.

>>221393789
This. If you think a bunch of Dinosaurs can take over the world you're just as dumb as some fucker thinking lions tigers or bears could do the same.

>>221396075
>it's not plausible because my dinosaur DNA movie is based in reality
You fucking retard

>>221396268
>No you have to accept all bullshit in a story because it's fictional
What's it like being a retard that doesn't even understand that suspension of disbelief can be broken?

>>221392736
it had the framework of a good movie but it had so many boneheaded fucking decisions and plot points. i was really not happy at a lot of it
>quick secure all the cargo
>nvm we just need this briefcase

>>221394012
i just read The Lost World and the "well ackshually here's what happened..." bits were so eye-rolling

>>221393003
Jp2 is way better. Everything is better than Dora the explorer and her spic family.

>>221396347
>NOOOOO you can't promise a jurassic world because it takes science and suspension of disbelief in my dinosaur DNA movie even though they have already shown dinosaurs in other places in the world already but retconned it
You are retarded

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>>221395910
It is very picky choosy with what they want to protray the shit with the feathers is a visual struggle between wanting to stick with the scalies so it can keep circling around references and wanting to shove in feather dinos to appeas internet autists. They must have some deal to use the slickest apple looking computers

>>221393075
>Snickers wrapper
>>221393869
>snickers wrapper
You may not like it but it's inline with the original concept of chaos theory, like how the entire park was fucked up by one nerd on the computer and them forgetting to program it to track more than the base number of raptors
>>221394012
>Like the t-rex having motion based vision being dumb and based on bad research.
This is kino and shows Grant actually didnt know what the fuck he was talking about, like most paleontologists today like Horner and the Spinosaurus guy. Also fits the theme.

>>221396724
>demoralizing classic characters is kino
every time

>>221396724
It works in the original story because chaos theory intersects violently with the park operators' overconfidence that all their systems and redundancy are foolproof, and a sizable chunk of the story is dedicated to exploring how chaos and hubris cause those systems to fail one by one. I didn't mind the Snickers wrapper all that much, but it really is nothing more than a shallow allusion to the idea, and it is pretty silly.

>>221397150
Pretty silly and clashes with the notion that InGen is still in business 20 years or 30 years later, if they're that incompetent or have become even more incompetent

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>>221394872
Sequels had some redeeming qualities

>>221392736
I hated the Mexican family. They were all terrible and annoying. Plus they totally misused the DREX and mutatdons.

>>221398623
hummina hummina

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>>221396414
I don't know, those are the things worth reading Crichton for.
The guy was an MD that graduated from harvard, so typically he does some pretty solid research on whatever element he decides to write the story about.
Hell my favorite parts of Sphere when I was a kid was all of the autistic nerd rambling about saturation diving and exotic atmosphere environments.
Also the giant squid because I too was terrified of giant squid as a kid because of the old 20,000 leagues under the sea disney movie that I watched approximated fourteen shitzillion times as a kid.

>>221398623
Ever since I figured out who the "Howard" in Bryce Dallas Howard actually was I just see ron-howard in drag when I look at her.
Which isn't to say I think she's unattractive, but I just can't not see ron howard's face in hers.

>>221398623
Film idea for a JW sequel….
>Bryce has another sister (played by Christina Hendricks)
>her and Owen go on a mission deep in Africa to investigate a story of dinosaur sightings
>turns out Christina Hendrick’s character is a snowbunny
>once they get to the African village, Owen gets hit with a tranq
>The villagers run a train on BDH and CH
>while Owen is paralyzed, they let every creampie leak out on his face
>a Dino comes out of nowhere and eats Owen
>no one cares and fast forward 8 months later and both of them are pregnant and became the village fleshlights

>>221398846
Do everyone a favor and never post again.

>>221392736
It is aggressively mediocre and paint-by-numbers. Jurassic World 2015 is the closest thing that the series has had to a decent sequel, and half of that is BDH being cute as a goddamn button in it.

>>221398887
>Jurassic World 2015 is the closest thing that the series has had to a decent sequel
What a fucking retarded opinion holy shit go fuck yourself

>>221393075
Based summary of how dogshit garbage this movie was

>>221396724
> it’s a reference to chaos theory
Fucking retarded

>>221399097
I can understand the opinion, despite probably agreeing with you that Lost World is better

>>221398887
Jurassic world 2015 fuciikgn sucks especially with the shitty indian not John Hammond. Zero charisma zero presence and then just randomly dies fucking stupid. Also the people aren’t impressed by dinosaurs argument they keep repeating for the Jurassic world movies is fucking retarded. The people who wrote those lines should all be gathered and publicly executed by firing squad.

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>>221398846
There is a fanfic where BDH and picrel have both been swallowed by the Mosasaur and they decide Well, they're about to die anyway, so they might as well fuck, while getting digested.
You should read it and give us your review

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45891895?view_adult=true

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>>221399533
>not John Hammond
Richard Attenborough died before that movie was made, so what would you do?
I didn't mind the Indian guy, what's much much worse is to pretend that Hammond had a business partner who was equally responsible for creating Jurassic Park despite never being seen or mentioned before

>>221392812
Fuck you

>>221392982
Bella Ramsey's best performance

>>221392736
No its actually bad. The whole thing felt like it was written by AI

>>221392736
It’s mostly made up of rehashed scenes from the other movies but with worse characters and bigger plotholes and it barely has any dinosaurs in it

>>221393075
>Somehow Duncan returned

Island populated entirely by mutated freaks they couldn’t use. Aside from the fan favourites which seem completely normal in their brief cameos and the babyyodasaurus which they take away to its death

>>221392736
Better than Fallen Kingdom and Dominion.

The Latina daughter was hot

>>221399904
Maybe but Fallen Kingdom is one of the most anti-life, depressing and nihilistic films i've ever seen so literally anything could have been an improvement unless you made a movie where they traveled back in time and stabbed the brontosaurus to death in JP1.

>>221396020
Nick causes every death in the film either by direct action or as a result of his actions, and he gets to walk away without anyone even pulling him up on it. Eddie goes out like a hero but definitely didn’t deserve it (not a complaint, it keeps stakes high when decent people die too)

>>221392736
loving the increasing bimbofication of johansson

>>221393776
This guy fucks, or is over the age of 30.

>>221392736
The shithead Mexican boyfriend needed torn apart by a dino

How do you even make a successful dinosaur movie? Normies seem to only have enough room in their head for one or two dinosaur movies and those are immediately filled by Godzilla and Jurassic Park.

>>221392736
It's dogshit. Worst out of every Jurassic movie and that's a low fucking barrier.

>>221399691
Hammonds business partner (Lockwood) is actually name dropped in the original novel, but he helped start InGen and is out of the picture by the time the park rolls around and doesn't have anything to do with it. I don't think he gets more than a sentence or two's mention.

>>221392736
Jesus Christ I know /tv/ is the shill board, but god damn. This is easily the worst movie in the entire franchise other than 3. Actually it's probably worse than 3. They literally could not even get the names of the dinosaurs correct or which animals were dinosaurs. They literally just gave up on this film and phoned the entire thing in for a cash grab.

>>221396724
This post made me remember how much insane product placement there was in this movie. It was like an extended commercial for junk food. Watching this movie was fucking surreal.

>>221393075
The most egregious offense is that they don't even bother to spend even a second explaining what the fuck is going on with the D-Rex. It's just there for apparently no reason.