>HUFFLEPUFF!How do you respond without sounding mad?
>>221712770Ironically woke culture has proven hufflepuff would be the most evil house by virtue of being a bunch of pussies
>>221712770Hufflepuff seems like a cozy house to be in, wouldn't be mad at all.
>>221712825They're the useless stoner house that reads the Daily Prophet like "It sucks that Voldemort's back. Somebody needs to do something" while passing a joint back and forth.
>>221712770Are you dumb? Hufflepuff would be THE best house to be in if you're an actual secret pyscho. All that naive puss that you could manipulate, IF Voldemort was AN ACTUAL person that's the house he would have ended up in, not slytherin which immediately puts a giant fucking target on your back as "potentially evil".
I’m gnomepilled, hobbit-maxxing and you’re mad?
>>22171289111 year old tom riddle did not have the foresight for all that
>Awesome, I hear that's where all the cute trans girlies go
>>221712770take a shit in the hat (and that's the type of thing a Hufflepuff would do)
>>221712825this. by the libshits' own logic, silence is violence.
>>221712770>HAGGLEFAG!
>>221712881Like the weasley twins wouldn't have been doing that, probably Ron if he wasn't having Harry's backThere has to be a house for the blue haired feminists and SJWs and it isn't going to be ravenclaw or gryffindor
>>221712770>MALE
>>221712770n-nyo im totally ravenclaw
>>221712825Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff and he was no pussy.
>>221712972>There has to be a house for the blue haired feminists and SJWs and it isn't going to be ravenclaw or gryffindorTake this with a grain of shit, but based on real life people and online quizzes, ravenclaw and hufflepuff are the houses for those types, the difference being their typical school grade performance>knew an SJW type who did terrible in school: hufflepuff>knew an SJW type who did really well in school: ravenclaw>t. slytherchud
>>221712972If Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, Ron, Fred, and George would have dropped out year 5 and became NEETS. Voldemort would have won obviously. Ginny and her chad husband would have to support them instead of having their own family.
>>221712770MARK IT SLYTHERIN
>>221713068Ravenclaw is supposed to be the facts don't care about your feelings house where incels and nerds end up, I'm not sure how an overly emotional idealogue ends up thereSlytherin would make more sense given they atleast put focus on ambition, I imagine most politicians on all sides would end up here
>>221713011he died like a bitch
>>221712770>ehm ok but before you make the final decision let me just say:>fuck mudbloods>fuck halfbloods>fuck blood traitors (especially the weasleys)>mayhaps you can reconsider now dear hat?
>>221712770no way I'm going to the kike house, hat faggot....
Hufflepuff is best house with the best traits, Rowling agrees. loyalty > courage as a virtue, you're just meming on the name/emblem.
>>221713175Not that I give the slightest shit about Harry Potter, but you're a gay retard.
>>221712770Students who get Hufflepuff don't get mad.
>>221713197HAT FAGGOT EYY? better be hufflepuff
>>221713256i could easily rape you.
smash your faggot face in irl when you come to the back up chan next year after this place runs out of funds and rapeape pulls the plug
Hufflepuff is the best house.
>>221713133makes sense to me, the autist-to-tranny pipeline is real and the venn diagram and tendency of those to associate with screechy ally types is going to have a lot of overlapbadda bing, badda boombasically every rust programmer would be put into ravenclaw and would be shouting about intersectionality and wearing too-tall socks
>>221713175He couldn't predict that Harry Potter would murder him out of jealousy and then blame it on Voldemort.
>>221712770It's the comfiest House desu. Probably all freaks in bed to boot.
I feel like Hufflepuff would be full of unshaven feeders who would want to give you a handjob before going to bed so you sleep well.
>>221713175Harry killed him to get some Asian gash.
I would literally be ecstatic, I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a loser, I'll smoke weed and get high as fuck and wander around the castle.
>>221712972anon, have you read the books? the entire franchise is about the heckin' good gryffindors fighting the evil magic nazis
>>221713706stop saying this shit like it's bad. i'm fine with le good team and le bad team, especially in children's/fantasy stories. the alternative is you end up with nonsense like>orcs are chaotic rape monsters? yikes sweetie, that's LITERALLY racism!
>>221712898sovl...
>>221713751>i'm fine with le good team and le bad team, especially in children's/fantasy stories.I'm fine with it too, but it needs to be consistent. The books start off as good vs evil, however Rowling clearly wanted to add moral complexity as it went along. But she fucks it up completely.At some point in book 4 or 5, sirius says something like "The world is not separated being good people and Death eaters."Except... it totally is? By the end of Deathly Hallows, the world is still pretty much just as manichean as it was at the very beginning. The brave courageous Gryffindors fighting, with the cowardly Slytherin either fleeing or being on the other side.It would have worked fine if she kept it as genuinely black-and-white from beginning to end, like Star Wars or LOTR, but she promises us something more complex yet cannot deliver. That's what makes it feel dumb.
Why would I be mad about anything? Learn magic and chill, you’re not a shonen protagonist.
>>221712770But that's what I wantedDUDE
Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders
>>221712770That's the retard special ed house, right? If I made it into there, I would probably be retarded enough not to care.
>>221714472Right? If the hat can determine your innermost personality and disposition, no one should be angry over house picks.
>>221712770Why would you want to be in any other house?>Griffindor is all aggressive jock retards>Slytherin is full of treacherous preppies>Ravenclaw is full of pretentious goth wannabes>Hufflepuff is full of chill productive peopleCed Diggory was a Hufflepuff, remember?
>>221712770you mean based?
>>221712770It wouldn't matter where they stick me. I'm still going to spend my education learning actually useful magic while ignoring the bullshit before I become a dark lord who leads the muggles into wiping out the non-whites
>>221713011Cedric Niggery
>>221714523>aggressive jockA trope pushed by Jews
>>221714600Why are you simping for football players talking about Harry Potter on a anime website?
>>221714514Exactly
>>221713484>"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"
>>221712770>background house that stays out of trouble and is near the kitchen for late night snacksSounds dope as fuck
>>221712770>GryffindorFull of grandstanding assholes and troublemakers.>SlytherinFull of evil psychopaths and asshole rich kids.>RavenclawFull of weirdos. Can't even get into the common room without answering stupid riddles.>HufflepuffNormal well-balanced people.
i suppose if i were the sort to end up in hufflepuff it wouldn't bother me
>>221714805Funny, but Snape literally uses veritaserum in the following scene to corroborate everything Harry said.
>>221714934>>221715039Unless you're a newfag you won't be welcome in hufflepuff, it's reddit the house full of woke retards, troons and fat bitchesStay ravenclaw and shitpost with the bros
>>221714805>Noone ask why, shushy shushy
>>221714805Harry WOULD be such a fucking weirdo IRL. imagine giving this short, bullied guy a gun (essentially).
>>221713176>a chud eh? I know just where to put you…>NIGGERIN
>>221713176>fuck halfbloodsAre you insulting the Dark Lord?
>>221715264>literally gets killed by a babyyep, typical half-blood
>>221712770Sounds comfy; Nobody expects anything of me now.
you're a hufflepuff
Immediately Abra Kedabra the crowd
>>221715312>ABRA KEDABRA>nothing happens because i misremembered the spell>everyone laughs>"classic hufflepuff" dumbledore chucklesfuck my chud puff life
>>221712770Hufflepuff means that you're a nice guy who cares about others and values friendship.Now, getting called a Gryffindoor, that's insulting: It's the house for complete morons with no sense of self-preservation. Future Darwin-award winners.
>>221715367Johnny Knoxville and the cast of Jackass would all be members of Gryffindor.
rowling's a tabula rasa cultist so she never brings this up, but hufflepuff would obviously be way stacked in favor of girlies, you'd be drowning in bitches
>>221712770>I think I'd leave
>>221712770>sign up for Pottermore>do this test to get your house>sweet>get hufflepuff>ragequit and never do it again
>Male!
>>221715748
>>221714805always makes me chuckle
Buncha muggles ITT
>>221717199brown
like
>>221712770I wouldn't do shit. That's why I'm a Hufflepuff.
>>221717272>"yeah we're going east to uhh spread rebellion against sauron>smokes hashish>rides an elephant>fucks belly dancers>boogie board down dunes>"wtf were we doing again?"
>>221714805>>221717199this always makes me fucking seethe because that's exacly how it's perceived in universe by everyone except for dumbledore's clique. hell, fucking wizarding state media almost outright calls him crazy until they see voldemort with their own eyes. this meme is so fucking out of touch do you faggots even watch movies
>>221712770gonna slam so much hufflepuss
>>221717379it's a joke anon don't let it work you into a seethe
>>221717585it's a shit joke that doesn't fit the scene. it would work the dooku decapitation scene better but in that case for some reason retards always ask "uhhhhhmmm why didn't he just say that palpatine is a sith lord" even though this would've made no sense for anakin to believe him
>>221712770by making it best house, bitch
A lot of faggy theater kid energy ITT. I think this board might need another injection of /lit/, /sp/ and /pol/ posters
Did any of you limp-dick faggots ever take the Pottermore test? It was designed by Rowling herself, IIRC, so pretty true to the novels.I'm in Gryffindor btw.
>>221714805Was waiting for someone to post it
>>221717272What the FUCK was their problem
>Did any of you limp-dick faggots ever take the Pottermore test? It was designed by Rowling herself, IIRC, so pretty true to the novels.>I'm in Gryffindor btw.
>White people have no cultu-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGjVXzI2g4M
>>221718175at least he's white
>>221714805Didnt the rat killed him
>>221719869or so harry would have us believe
>theres something wrong with wanting to be a nobody
>>221719869HE DID IT AGAINFUCKING EPIC!!
> Hufflepuff> Become Hogwart's drug baron.Sign me up.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFiZwkIwBjk
Post some Ravenclaw asian pussy.
As a cool kid I thought I was Raven Claw until I got older and realized Hufflepuffs are just chill losers and I'd rather hang out with them.
>>221720366coolest kid in your theater kid group surefucking millennial loser LMAO
>>221712770EXCUUUUUIIISEE MEE??? Dear Mr Hogwart Dubmledor, I am a WHITE WOMAN in AMERICA and i am FREAAAAAAAKING PISSED.
>>221720392Only Hufflepuff fans are fags. In the books they're just chill stoners
>>221713589>>221714523>>221714841>>221712891Kek @ all the insane amounts of cope. Makes sense that among all the houses of>chads>actual intelligent people>evil yet ambitious people >retardsThe majority of /tv/ would be in the retard house (and here’s why it’s a good thing)
>>221712770finally a good thread
>>221717199it's very well written>don't ask how, no one ask how!
>MALE
>>221719869What rat? You mean Peter Pettigrew who died 13 years ago?You're claiming he was secretly an animagus, one of the most difficult and dangerous magics in the world despite being barely better than a squib at magic, and that he lived as a rat for 12 years, until he was exposed by a known mass murderer and hiw werewolf friend, somehow in the span of a single year: discovered the soul of Voldemort hiding out in Albania, kidnapped a ministry official, killed her, then used her unborn baby as a flesh vessel for the dark lord, broke into the home of the minister for international cooperation, imperiused him and freed his death eater son, who according to Azkaban records is also dead, then broke into another home and kidnapped the most powerful, paranoid auror in history all in order to have the dead prisoner spend the school year convincingly impersonating Dumbledore's best friend and confidant all to trick Harry Potter into touching the triwizard cup which was turned into a portkey.
>>221713751Are those mexicans?>>22171406350 pts to Gryffindor
>>221720531and for all this the only thing he gets is a replacement arm that later strangles him to death
>>221720337For me it's Samantha.
did they ever explain why thirteen year olds were allowed to order beer?
>>221721151That’s just what happens in Britain I think, because of the whole boarding school thing (raep)
>>221720531Goblet of Fire definitely went too crazy with all the convoluted shocking twists. When you need several chapters full of exposition to explain everything, it's gone too far.
>>221721276she was merely inside a 15 year old boys head on accident
>>221721151thankfully mohammed mohammed put an end to this after he was elected minister of magic
>>221721151Thirteen-year-olds are allowed to order beer anywhere in the world, anon.Serving them beer is what might get you in trouble.You wouldn't get to do that in Britain (18 being the minimum age for that, 16 for an adult buying it for you). But "muh wizard laws" or something.Also, I think official recipes for that "butterbeer" shit use malt beer or something, which is basically non-alcoholic.
>>221712770Hogwarts is clearly for the posh "rich" kids of England (despite the Weasley's being poor, they still get to be a part of the wizard class due to their lineage), so it's sad we never got to see Rowling depict the shitty kids. Imagine if these lads were able to shoot magic beams at each other. Bosh.
>>221721414no, hogwarts is literally all the uk wizards
Why has someone been samefagging in this thread for almost 8 hours?
I still wanna know what the casting director for the new series was smoking when they made Snape black. Literally no one, not one single soul, was asking for that change. Wokies already don't like HP and making Snape black won't change that, fans won't be happy cause it's not book accurate since Snape is one of the few HP characters who is explicitly (and frequently!) described as pale/white, and normal people will find it weird cause they know Snape is supposed to be white due to the movies. Of all the fucking main characters they could have made black, they chose the one who made the least sense to swap.
>>221721519what else are you gonna do with a black market timeturner?
Gryffindor cares about deedsRavenclaw cares about their knowledge Slytherin cares about powerHufflepuff cares about people.It's the house with a actual human beings in it. Harry Potter was a self little shit who constantly got other people hurt so he could look cool.
>>221721443I think it’s funnier if it’s like the Eton of wizards and there’s a northern wizard school that’s very mundane and practical.
>>221715139would be hilarious if he turned into a dickhead>DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? THE CHOSEN ONE, THAT"S WHO SO WHEN I SAY I'LL TAKE THE LOT YOU GIVE ME THE FUCKING LOT YOU OLD BITCH
>>221712770does avada kedavra work on hats
>>221721729They did that with him in Alan Moore’s league of extraordinary gentlemen, fun storyline
>>221712770i would sit on the hat
>>221722101If you're the sorting hat's sorting hat;What house would you sort it into?
>>221715139>>221714805What would Dumbledore have done if Harry turned out to be a little shit?
>>221721726'ate 'ogwarts'ate muggles - not racist, just don't like emluv magicking birds into fit birdssimplaticus.
>>221722471early mentoring probablywould have been funny if the dursley's abuse and the bullying at muggle school had him going "you know what, that voldemort guy isn't wrong about muggles, they're pieces of shit"
>>221712770I mean it sounds like I don't have to deal with most of the bullshit with Harry Potter except tangentially.
>>221722471Abandon Harry as a protagonist and switched his plan to Longbottom.He was stone cold when it came to beating voldy.
>>221722666this and I wouldn't even join the quidditch team
"Yay fat chicks?!"
>>221722594well samefag necro tranny?
>>221712909Literally known be dominating and terrorizing smaller kids and arguibly smaller mindsNot once was 11yo voldy signaling he wanted friends or equals or a challenge.A psychopath doesn't want to be with other psychopaths to make friends to unleash his potential, he wants to be with prey and experimentPutting him on slytherin is literally holding him back
>>221722471Try to duel him and kill him directly one time, push voldy's return 10-15 more years, and try to die before that so it's someone else's problem
>>221712770Hufflepuff is supposed to be about kinship and brotherhood. Gryffindor is about valor and doing the right thing which can include saving your friends but not always.
>>221722826Depends on the fat distribution
>>221713011How tf did he end up there then and not gryffindor
>>221721726>and there’s a northern wizard schoolHogwarts is literally in Scotland, anon. How much further north do you want to go?
>>221723309He never had the makings of a varsity athlete
>>221723328the books never really say this, do they?yeah there's a multi-hour train journey, but it could be going to some magic realm, Elfland style.
>>221723328Okay well culturally they’re socialized as Londoners and it’s hidden in a secret dimension at the fucking train station; shot location ≠ location within story. And if you attempt to refute me, you will have outed yourself as someone who reads Hairy Pooner. Checkmate.
>>221722924>Not once was 11yo voldy signaling he wanted friendsHence why he didn't end up in Hufflepuff.>or equalsHence why he didn't end up in Ravenclaw.>or a challenge.Hence why he didn't end up in Gryffindor.>Putting him on slytherin is literally holding him backWhich is what the hat would have wanted, isn't it?
>>221723379>to some magic realmYeah. Scotland.
>>221723432>they do got a Dhobar Chu
>>221712770Is being sorted into any house besides Griffindor or Slitherin just confirmation you're mediocre and unlikely to ever do anything of note?
>>221723309sorting hat wanted to fuck with Harry by giving him a rival
>>221723493In the Rowling’s addled brain almost certainly
>>221721151It's a relatively new muggle rule. Beer was safer for children to drink back when drinking from a well or river could give you cholera. As wizards never had a problem with cholera to begin with, there was never a reason to change anything.
okay but which house is the most balenciaga?
>>221723695Probably slytherin, because they're a bunch of upper class twats.
>>221723493In theory, Ravenclaw produces all the academics, writers, journalists and so on. Anyone who questions the status quo and tries to push new ideas.Big problem with that is that in Rowling's world among wizards, academics seem to be severely undervalued and journalism basically boils down to yellow press tabloids. While going against the status quo is generally seen as disruptive and undesirable. Hence why wizard society and technology is largely stuck somewhere in the 1600s at best.
>>221723695Slytherin.Hufflepuff is H&M.
>>221715104>Snape! My trusty double agent who risked everything for a crumb of pussy. Come here and tell me if this young incel murdered the class president, would you? I know you’re using your famous truth potion because it’s clear and totally indistinguishable from normal water
>>221712770>hmmmmmmm SQUIB!>w-what? N-no sir, I’ve done magic since I was five! I’m not a squib!>you are now! I just drained all the magic out of you to sustain myself!Dumbledore:>escort the squib to Mr. filches office for custodian training
>Back in the day, my buddies an' me use ta run a small business out of the Hufflepuff dorms. We were always told to get into Hufflepuff since that's the one nobody's payin' attention to. Answer keys for tests, fake permission slips to Hogsmeade, smuggling exoctic creatures for the big guy, y'know kids stuff. I remember one time some Slytherin fucks paid us to slip some 4th year's name into the Goblet of Fire. I had my cousin do a rootkit spell on the back end of the incantation. You shoulda seen how old Dumblefanook took to this poor little bastard. I had never seen a man get so violent before, but the thing that always stuck with me was how even though he was wailing on this poor kid and screaming his lungs out, he had this... calmness to him, ya know?
>>221724326>drained all the magic out of youSounds like a really bad porn script.
>>221712770>No thanks, hat! I'm goin' back to Paddy's Pub. This butter-beer shit is a fuckin' joke.
>>221724337https://voca.ro/19JCkGiF3y9R
Would being a poor guy with no name in Slytherin be worse than being poor and nobody in huflepuff?
>>221712770>fart into the sorting hatHeh, get a huffle of that faggots.
hufflepuff is basedsomeone who enjoys himself > someone who works hard
>>221726800>would being poor in the rich kids class be worse than being poor in the poor kids class?
>>221723633Small beer is not the same as normal beer anon
>>221712770With the exception of Luna Lovegood, Hufflepuff would have some exquisite submissives to lead around on leashes.
>>221712825>woke cultureno such thing. Imagine being mindbroken by /pol/tards this hard
>>221727032>shlomo thinks he's fooling anyone
>>221724286kek
>>221727032>>woke culture>no such thingTrue, it's just leftism. Always was. Woke is just a buzzword made to deflect from the fact that idpol is inseparable part of left wing thought. It is used by retards who try to gaslight people claiming that Occupy got hecking subverserined by CIA.
>>221727032>netherlandslol lmao
>>221726800Doesn't Slytherin only take pure-bloods? Even if you're poor you'd have to have SOME sort of pedigree to get in
>>221712923>"Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!">Excuse me what the fuck, who do you think you are, cheeky little shit, telling me where to put you?>"I-I thought I could as-">You thought wrong, pervert, I see inside your mind, tugging your dick while snorting your aunties knickers. Want me to tell everyone here, gobshite?>"No, no please!">That's more like it, little fucker, Dumbledore has already "calmly" asked me over and over again to put you in Gryffindor. I think I'll piss in his cereal, so to speak, and yours, by saying>SLYTHERIN!>Dumbledore bellowed and cursed and stampeded toward the hat, "I'LL SHIT IN YOU FOR THIS!">Forgetting Harry was still wearing the hat, Dumbledore lowered his britches and unleashed a typhoon of foul smelling excrement.>"I can't smell or taste, you senile nonce!" laughed the hat, while Harry drowned in filth calmly.
>>221727635lmao
>>221712770>“What card did you get Harry?” asked Ron, through a mouthful of peppermint candy.>“There’s a card too? Oh, I see. Albus Dumbledore.”>“Ah keep it, I got about six of him. He’s a real common card. Pity you didn’t get something good.”>“A pity indeed. Do you boys mind if I have a sherbet lemon? I’m rather partial to them.”>Harry and Ron jumped. Sitting between them was an elderly gentleman, his eyes twinkling behind his half moon glasses.>“Bloody hell, how long have you been there?” exclaimed Ron calmly.>Harry did a double take. It was the man on his card.>“Excuse me, are you Albus Dumbledore? Is this you, on this card?”>“Well that’s Professor Dumbledore to you boys, and yes that is me, though I must say, I was rather younger when that picture was taken. Ah, time is a cruel mistress.” mused Dumbledore, before popping a second sherbet lemon in his mouth.>Harry glanced back to the card with confusion. Neither the man on the card or the man sitting next to him looked a day under a hundred years old. >“Why are you on the train? Teachers don’t take the train, do they?” asked Ron.>“How else would we get to school? Why, you don’t think we live there, do you?” asked Dumbledore, with a wry smile.>“Ah well, I must be going boys, lots to get ready for the new school year, I’ll just grab one more for the road.” Dumbledore reached out and took an entire fistful of sherbet lemons, stuffing them in his pocket.>He got up to leave, then paused at the door.>“One more thing Ronald. They only put important people on the chocolate frog cards. And your family is poor.”>Then with a stretch of his leg, he was gone.
>>221718289are you sure?
>“You misunderstand officer, the threat was never real. I only told the champions that their siblings, best friends or girlfriends would die if they didn’t save them. But that was just to motivate them to compete harder. I didn’t actually mean it. In fact, I even had my fingers crossed behind my back. Now, it’s not in any way my fault that Fleur misinterpreted me, got in too deep and drowned in the Black Lake.” said Dumbledore calmly, his eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles. >Fudge was shaking with apoplectic fury. He was tired of covering up Dumbledore’s particular mad brand of catastrophes. He’d have his headmaster’s badge and his wand today for sure! But then, shockingly, Kingsley Shacklebolt began to speak, in his deep, reassuring voice.>“Minister, he’s correct. There’s nothing we can charge him with. He gave the champions a choice. It was her choice to drown.”>Fudge swore loudly and stretching his legs furiously, he stormed off. >Dumbledore simply shrugged, then winked at Kingsley, and stretched his own legs away, muttering to himself.>“What’s next? Perhaps a hedge maze of death, one that makes you go crazy, filled with all kinds of obstacles! Yes, that will do nicely.”>Kingsley shook his head in gentle disapproval as he watched his good friend stretch his legs into the sunset. >“I wish my boss had that much style.” he muttered to himself.
>"Malfoy" snarled Harry and Ron at the same time and reached for their wands only to find nothing but air>"Looking for these?" said Malfoy, holding up their wands in one hand while keeping his own trained at them both>"I heard what you and that elf did to my father, Potter and he's taught me exactly how to deal with you">Malfoy raised his wand above his head>"CRUC-">The spell was cut short as a loud HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK echoed above them and a tow cord slipped around Malfoy's neck>Arthur Weasley's Ford Anglia jet down from the dark sky above and landed before the two boys with a whining screech, pulling Malfoy forward onto the ground face first and tightening the noose around his choking neck>Harry turned to his friend>"Are you ready, Ron?">"I'm ready" grinned Ron and stretched his leg onto the accelerator>The car revved across the castle grounds, gaining height, as the choking and blue-faced Malfoy felt his life leaving him>*Music blares into a crescendo as Harry and Ron fly the car across the moonlit night with Malfoy's lifeless body in tow*>Dumbledore looked down upon the sight from a tower window and smiled warmly>"Please pass me some more treacle tart, Minerva"
>>221727635The calmly should either go in Dumbledore's bit or before "drowned in shit."
>>221728079Oh shit. We got ourselves a critic. Unfortunately that’s not my work. But I think the calmly being so clunky adds to the charm in that one, in a weird way.
>>221727748>Then with a stretch of his leg, he was gone
>>221728105It just sticks out, is all.
>>221718040You will getv/vt/umors and like it.
>>221727992>“Slytherin will receive an infinite number of points in a 1 + 1 + 1 sequence.”>“HOWEVER!”>“Gryffindor will also receive an infinite number of points, except in a 1 + 2 + 3 sequence.”>Silence falls, gems tinkling as they pour into the hourglasses until Hermione finally works it out.>“It’s the same number of points, isn’t it sir?”>Malfoy leaps from his chair, dancing in excitement. A draw! This is the best result his noble house has ever achieved since Dumbledore first took the office of headmaster all those years ago.>Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle behind his half-moon glasses>“Theoretically, yes, Miss Granger. However, we have to make a decision by the end of the feast. Let us see how it works in practice.”>Dumbledore gestures to the hourglasses. Emeralds are still pouring into Slytherin one, but the Gryffindor one is full to bursting. Spiderwebs form on the glass. Then…>CRACK.>It explodes, and glass flies everywhere. A huge dagger sized chunk spears Draco in the chest and brings him to the floor, gasping forth gouts of crimson blood.>The rubies spill forth. Screams erupt as the Slytherins realise they have been enchanted to burn them, and only them.>Draco, lying wounded as he is, cannot hold his breath and swallows some. His mouth stretches wide in silent agony, as additional rubies flood into his throat silencing him, then his face, burying him alive as his hateful Slytherin flesh is seared inside and out. >As he holds Snapes head underneath the cascade of crimson gems, Dumbledore’s calm voice rises over the chaos below. In his other hand he holds a pocketwatch.>“And…that’s time Children. No more points this year.”>The gems stop appearing, and Dumbledore glances back at the hourglasses. Slytherin’s is almost, but not quite full.>“Well, children, I think the numbers speak for themselves this year. Who’s for pudding?”
>>221727635
>>221728181It definitely does. It feels like a badly inserted afterthought. Which can be seen as part of the joke. More of an anti joke really. A whimsical deconstruction of the conventions of Dumbledore posting.
>“Where the FUCK is my broomstick? I have to meet with Fudge and I can’t afford to be late! The ministry is already up my ass about that little incident in the maze!” said Dumbledore calmly>“Yes Professor Dumbledore, that is why we are here, to stop anyone else from dying.” said Kingsley, in his deep, reassuring voice. >Dumbledore snarled and stretched his legs over to the nubian wizard, pointing right at him with a gnarled claw>“I know you fucking took it. As well as the good brandy from the kitchen. I know it was you!”>Hermione gasped in shock. “Professor, that’s a hateful and hurtful stereotype”>But Kingsley was unaffected by the doddering old Timmy, and his non crime hate incident outburst.>“Professor, as you know items temporarily going missing is a rare side effect of my wandless African magic. It’s quite simple. No tailor has ever been able to create robes that could fit both my wands. So I never carry the smaller one - Elm wood, eleven and three quarter inches,” (he winked at Hermione, who stared at her own shoes, blushing beetroot red).>“Perhaps you should use one of the school brooms. I’m sure Madame Hooch could spare one. Just as I am sure your missing items will eventually turn up. So stop worrying your head about it.”>Dumbledore looked like he wanted to say something else, something that started with the letter “n”, but it died on his lips. He dragged his feet as he stretched his legs off to the broom closet, muttering to himself about racial crime statistics as he went.
>"Yes, yes, Draco. I understand...">Said Dumbledore calmly as he placed the back of his hand on the young boy's shoulder>"And it was so close to being Slytherin's year yet again had you not missed out on one key ingredient...">Dumbledore's lips curled into a smile>With one hand he twirled the end of his beard>Then winked at Harry>Who winked back, grinning ear to ear>Draco's mouth dropped open. His head snapped left and right, mortified at the exchange>"Noo..." Draco whispered>"Yes!" Dumbledore exclaimed! "Had you only been in Gryffindooooooor!">He pulled out his wand>"Avada!" he zapped>"Kedavra!" he mused>First Goyle>Then Crabb>"You snakey shits!" Dumbledore continued, "Avada! Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!" his song went on>He stretched his legs across the table, taking enormous strides and Slytherin lives>Harry and Ron joined in>"AVADA!">"KEDAVRA!" They bellowed in unison>Till none but Draco remained>Dumbledore placed the tip of his wand against Malfoy's temple>He leant in close>Whispered softly into Draco's ear>So quiet not even Ron and Harry could hear>"I never even liked Salazar"
>>221721530You would have cried if one of the main kids were black as well.
>“Not Slytherin ey, very well, better be…HUFFLEPUFF.”>You could hear a pin drop.>Then Dumbledore leapt up so quickly he knocked over Professor Mcgonagalls glass of firewhiskey.>“Pick a real fucking house for him you raggedy fucking loon! Do it again, do it now, and do it fucking properly, or I’ll cram you so far up Professor Warwick Davis’s bunghole that he’ll have to use your brim as his new tongue! DON’T FUCK ME ON THIS!” said Dumbledore, calmly.>“Dumbledore you know my word on matters of sorting is final, it’s in the school charter!” stated the hat, smugly.>“FUCK THE CHARTER!!” howled Dumbledore, doubled over with sagacious rage.>Professor Davis started to say something, perhaps a protest about the idea of being used as hat storage, but Dumbledore backhanded him clean through the stone wall, in a way that brought to mind a zen koan.>“HUFFLEPUFF ISN’T EVEN A REAL FUCKING HOUSE. IT’S AN INSIDE JOKE THAT HAD STOPPED BEING FUNNY YEARS BEFORE EVEN I ATTENDED HERE.” roared Dumbledore, the force of his gentle words of wisdom breaking plates and shattering glasses all over the great hall.>Cedric Diggory leapt up to defend his house’s honour.>“I won’t accept that! Helga Hufflepuff was a great wi-“>SNAP>Somehow, Dumbledore had unnaturally stretched his arm all the way across the hall, and slapped Diggory with enough force to break his neck.>“Great witch, is a fucking oxymoron. Anyone else want to die over this?” growled Dumbledore in a low whisper, saintlike, glowing with enlightenment.>Harry knew what was going to happen, and yet he couldn’t stop it. He watched helplessly, as, loyal to a fault, the entire Hufflepuff table rose, and drew their wands.
>>221712891Slytherin is "potentially evil" because of Voldemort's association with it and heavy requirement from it. Outside of his influence, Slytherin is just full of serious INTJ types who generally consider themselves superior to other wizards, because most of them are.
>>221712770Why would I be mad? Hufflepuff is the best house.I dont have to deal with evil people or assholes, I dont get shanghai'd into dunbass plots of heroism, I dont have to push myself to be the smartest little brown noser. I can learn magic, chill and hang with friends, brew sick ass potions, fly around, wizard gooning with my scrying orb, eat good food which is always available since we're close to the kitchens. Hufflepuff is the best house.
>>221728904>House elfs don't hand deliver your mealsgrim
>>221727558Voldemort and Snape are both famously halfbloods
>>221727992>>"I'm ready" grinned Ron and stretched his leg onto the acceleratorBrilliant work
Someone explain what Hufflepuff is
>>221712770An Hufflepuff wouldn't be mad.
"To all Gryffindors... Cheers. Cheers, my friends. It has been an honour. Cheers!">Dumbledore fixes his eyes on the Slytherin table, completely ignoring Ravenclaw and the other one"Now Slytherin... I know we have had our differences, but your ambition and hard work is truly something to behold. Admirable!">the Slytherins are cautious. Dumbledore usually follows up a praise with some humiliation and injustice"Indeed, I have a special treat for you all because of these traits. It's so good, that you'll love it despite its Muggle origin. It is a large apparatus which all of you can fit in which will confer all of you a deeply unique experience that shall benefit us all. A chamber of sorts. I have had that room over there fitted with the apparatus. Move along, children, shuffle into it now. You too, Snape*>the Slytherins flood into the room, some cautious and some excited>Dumbledore slams the door shut and enchants it to be locked and airtight. He turns to the other houses"And that special treat? That "unique experience" the Slytherins shall all experience and you all won't?"...""...Why, it's... DEATH! FUCK SLYTHERIN! THE FINAL SOLUTION TO THE SLYTHERIN MENACE BEGINS NOW! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, TURN ON THE GAS! YES, YES, WELL DONE, SLYTHERIN! WELL DONE SLYTHERIN FOR DYING SO WELL! SIX MILLION POINTS TO A HOUSE THAT SHALL CEASE TO EXIST IN 5 MINUTES!">He said calmly. Dumbledore's mouth foams during his blood-crazed tirade, the hall erupts into applause and a massive, inter-house orgy ensues. The Slytherins begin dying in the gas chamber. As Malfoy chokes on his own blood, Harry proves himself to be a sexual dominant member of the orgy>Dumbledore looks on with pride>Years later Harry Potter tells recounts these events to his son, Albus, at bedtime, with Ginny smiling warmly at the memory."And that's how Dumbledore exterminated the Slytherin scum. HEIL GODRIC! Dumbledore truly was the greatest headmaster of them all, and a good friend."
pull out my magnum revolver and blow the hat to pieces with it and then obliviate everyone who was a witness
>>221715109>reddit the house
>>221729380mediocrity
>>221714514>>221714472
>>221717354>wtf were we doing againEven Tolkien did not know.
>>221729894This is complete horseshit, I was in the gifted program. These "education professionals" have never actually interacted with real students.
>>221729380It’s the house where you huff a joint and puff puff pass a pussy around
>>221729688https://vocaroo.com/nUt57wURU0C
>>221729965>I was in the gifted programyes anon, youre very special!
>>221724286>>221714805Fuck im dying
>>221730200It was an actual gifted program and not a pat on the back one. It replaced your English class, and mostly just meant we ended up doing more work and were held to a higher standard than others.
>>221715410Being a guy in the house with the highest percentage of girls doesn't necessarily mean you're getting any action. There's a good chance that Hufflepuff girls would just sneak out of the dorm to go fuck Gryffindor or Slytherin chads, instead of let Hufflepuff betas touch them
>>221730424Except Cedric was the school chad
>>221715135kek
>>221720531>fled to albaniaWhen I first read this I thought albania was afganistan. Basically a shithole in the middle of nowhere.Albanians I've spoken with agree regardless.
>>221713114>MARK IT SLYTHERINthat sounds mad
>>221715410> rowling's a tabula rasa cultist Source?
>>221729342It really should be counted among the all time greats. For me it’s up there with those post,>>221729688As well as: “Pakistan is India”, “Cooked in a Voodoo stew”, “That mic has a weapon” and the slug one. I have been a serious Dumbledore poster for several years now. I enjoy moderate success. People do enjoy my turns of phrasing. Some of mean have even been accepted into the cannon. But I have never written anything as clever as that post. I would be lying if I said I didn’t recognise the author of that post as the Mozart to my Salieri.>>221729688If I may be so bold as to continue my musical metaphor, this is the equivalent to Beethoven’s 5th. The best known singular example. Perhaps it’s a bit “much”, a bit “bombastic”. Of course you can argue it is at least partly elevated by its use in other media (vocaroo, in this case). But all those arguments fall flat when you gaze upon the sheer majesty of the completed compositionAhh, I wish god chose me to be a great Dumbledore poster. But all I can do is dabble alongside Giants.
>>221712770Rowling could have at least found one perk of being a hufflepuff, but no it's just the lazy retards
>>221712770>just>loyal>patient>true>unafraid of toilwhy would I be mad? it filters out all the wrong people and they have a cozy common room
"Welcome students, welcome to another year here at Hogwarts. To our First Years I have a few notices I wish to announce. An unmarked, random room in this castle will kill anyone entering it. It is such because I decided to hide an extremely dangerous and powerful artifact at this institution for children. Please also note that if you enter the schools forest, it will be a very painful and certain death from the dozens of ferocious creatures roaming it.">"Despite being the safest place in the world for wizards, there is a coin flips chance that one my employees this year is on first-name basis with the most evil wizard in living memory. I am of course speaking of VOLDEMORT. Yes, I said his name. I am not scared for my life, but you should be. Which one is it this year? Personally, my bet is on professor Snape.">"I am also pleased to announce that the quinquennial Death Tournament will be held this year. The three underage contestant will endure three deadly trials for no other reason than my personal amusement. I encourage anyone from monetarily struggling families to enter so that you can recover from the outrageously expensive and gratuitous equipment we require you to purchase to attend this school. You dont want your family to starve do you? So please enter! Speaking from experience, casualties are frequent and amusing.">"Lastly I need to address the elephant in the room, or rather the snake in the room. I personally distrust and loathe the members of the Slytherin House, and as such, if Slytherin wins the House Cup through effort and hard work, I will overthrow the result by giving arbitrary points to whatever house I feel like">As the students get out of their seats and scramble out of the main hall, Dumbledoor looks across the teachers table with a mocking grin>"Severus, see me at my office immediately . We need to discuss your Lily-cuckold situation"https://vocaroo.com/eR7V9qXihiY
>>221712770Oh yeah?*Squirts lighter fluid on the hat*Is that right?*Flicks open a Zippo*Are you sure about that?*Avada kavadaras the approaching teachers*Like, really sure?
>>221721530This. Just have Kingsley "Shacklebolt" do more things instead?
>Vernon was enjoying a fine Sunday, reading the daily mail and leaning backwards in his comfortable recliner, when suddenly Professor Dumbledore calmly crawled out of the Dursley fireplace.>“What in blazes are you doing here?” whispered Vernon furiously, desperate not to be overheard by any of his neighbours.>“Your nephew has not been answering his letters Vernon, no matter how many I send him. I want to see him read one now, with my own eyes.”>Vernon leapt up, blazing with excitement. He had won!>“You won’t be able to you crazy old coot. It’s Sunday! It’s the lord’s day! There’s no bloody post on Sunday. Never happens. Not one blasted, miserable letter has ever been delivered on a Sunday in this kingdom, not a single bloody one! It’s quite simply impossible. The post men need their sabbath rest too.” Vernon puffed out his chest proudly, then suddenly realised how loudly he had spoken and looked ashamed of himself.>Dumbledore merely closed his eyes, as if deep in concentration.>There were several seconds of silence. Then, the doorbell rang.>Vernon’s blood run cold. Surely not. Surely not! He motioned desperately at Dumbledore to hide in Aunt Petunia’s linen closet, to which Dumbledore obliged, smiling pleasantly as if this was all perfectly normal.>Vernon opened the door, shaking with dread, and standing there was a very confused looking postman.>“Special order guv. Never seen anyfink quite like it. Weird bloody letter too. From some school I nevver ‘erd of, says it’s for wizards? You trying ter learn card tricks or summat?”>Vernon did his best to assure the man there must be some mistake, while also grabbing the letter, firmly insisting he would sort it out.>When the coast was clear, Dumbledore stretched his legs out from the kitchen holding a cup of tea in both hands, his eyes twinkling behind his half moon glasses. How on earth did he get there?>“Call Harry and show him his letter, will you?”
>>221733312>Vernon began pleading with Dumbledore. “Please, don’t make me. I’ll do anything. I’ll suck your dick. I’ll eat your shit!”>“I can assure you I am uninterested in seeing you eat my feces. And as for the blowjob? I’m sorry, you aren’t my type. Call Harry, now, or there will be post every Sunday”.>Vernon knew when he was beaten. He called Harry out from his cupboard (Dumbledore seemed to approve of this living situation), and gave Harry the letter.>Harry read it silently, and then eventually looked up at Dumbledore, his bottle green eyes stretched wide with sheer wonder.>“But sir, there must be some mistake. This letter, it can’t have arrived today, can it? Uncle Vernon always says - there’s no post on Sundays.”
>>221728665>the entire Hufflepuff table rose, and drew their wands.Oh no
>>221731816This. Besides, they have a badger as a mascot
why has some tranny been bumping this forced reddit thread in 1 hour intervals for the last 20 hours? is it mr public VPN from his phone again?
>>221712770Put my dick in it. Now you know It's Slytherin.
What house would you wind up in if all you wanted was to figure out how to covert your wand to a gun? Ravenclaw? Was there an American equivalent?
>>221712770I'm gonna be drowning in lefty arthoe pussy. It's fine.
put my wand on my temple and abrakadabra the world goodbye
>>221712770Can't you just ask for a different house like Harry did?
>>221735636thats ravenclaw, silly. hufflepuff is just geeks and remains
>>221712770Did no one ever attack the hat? Get sorted to Hufflepuff and immediately throw it in the nearest flaming brazier? The hat can probably read enough of you mine to see it coming and avoid it.
>>221731816>just>true>unafraid of toilI guess that automatically excludes troons and leftists
>>221733965They were all good friends.
>>221735905The only troon in the HP universe is from Ravenclaw
>>221712770"Wow, so Slytherin is fine with niggers and jews."
>>221723409>Which is what the hat would have wanted, isn't itNoThe hat is not a fucking good cop "oh no I must save the children! I'm the good hat!"And I don't know why you think it is
>>221736461He's literally an agent of Dumbledore, anon. Involved in keeping the Gryffindor sword and getting it to Harry when he needs it.
>>221712770Best house.
>>221723695Ravenclaw is Patagonia.
I got into HP again and for some God-forsaken reason I feel sad for Crabbe
>>221712770>get put in hufflepuff>entire house is full heckin cute freckled slampigs who want to cuddlefuck after working hard all day
>>221738815Idiots never deserve pity.
Hufflepuff is where redditors go.
>>221713011Cedric comes across as Rowling's reaction to the fanbase thinking Hufflepuff as the shit house.>they think Hufflepuff is the house of rejects with no qualities?>ok, here's a Hufflepuff who's handsome, smart and charismatic
with /tv/ nowadays it's more like this
hogwarts was never the same after all the exchange students from Uagadou started streaming in
not Slytherin
"You know we have bathrooms Amit, you don't have to keep shitting on the floor and using magic to dispose of your waste anymore."
>>221712770I just know that JK is going to write a new series of books that will be about a trans-wizard navigating the challenges (read: white, CIS-male, slytherin transphobe, racists) of the wizarding world. This will be done to exorcise the TERF-title that has been awkwardly weighing on her for the past years. It will also fill a critical gap in the lore, cuz no one know wtf that house even does or is.
>>221712770Cedric was a Hufflepuff and he was the Wizard of Harry's generation. He only died because he got kidnapped and ambushed by adults while he was a teenager.
>>221715139> Does OP even know?
>>221714523Nice cope. It's more like this >Gryffindor is for the brave, the daring, the strong willed, and the heroic>Slytherin is for the cunning, the schemers, and the ambitious>Ravenclaw is for the intelligent, the wise, the innovative, and the seekers of knowledge >Hufflepuff is for everyone else with no talent, courage, intelligence, or ambition If you're a Hufflepuff, you might as well drop off, because the hat has basically read your mind and determined that you're a worthless piece of shit that will never accomplish anything in their life
>tfw regular cheeky kitchen runs with the lads
>Children you may notice my pet midget has died. He has been replaced by another, whom I procured at no small expense.>You will address Mr. Davis as Professor Lipetit from now on. We will pretend he is the same midget I previously owned. If any aurors show up and ask what happened we will say Professor Lipetit merely charmed himself to appear younger.>The Professor will be seated next to Hagger, as the discrepancy in the sizes of these two freaks amuses me greatly.
>>221714063I love the HP movies but this is kinda true. Rowling is kinda a mid tier writer.
>>221740942no, rowling is a very good writer, she just doesn't belong to the modern school of Autism Fantasy
>MALE!
>>221712770I've been on /tv/ for far too long, my mind registered this as a shot from Irreversible when I was scrolling
>>221740927left looked too wizardy and would have stood out from dressing the characters in jeans and sweatshirts
>>221740241>If you're a Hufflepuff, you might as well drop off, because the hat has basically read your mind and determined that you're a worthless piece of shit that will never accomplish anything in their lifeLMAO
>>221741038I had a pain getting that from the archive because I fell for it too
>>221741063Cedric was a hufflepuff. He was the rightful champion...
>>221738438>Involved in keeping the Gryffindor swordI can easily read that a "true" ravenclaw could pull out some Ravenclaw artifact and the same for all houses
Is Hufflepuff the best house to pick in Hogwarts: Legacy since it has a questline that sends you to Azkaban?
>>221741110yeah, and he died like a bitch; typical hufflepuff
>>221741110>Cedric was a hufflepuff.Sounds like the beginning of some cautionary rhyme for children ...>Cedric was a Hufflepuff,>but Cedric is no more.>'Cause when he got to uppity,>along came Voldemor'.
>>221741209maybe, but not necessarily. harry only gets the hat because fawkes delivers it. phoenixes have some kind of connection to providence, so it's just as plausible that he would have brought something else if harry hadn't been a gryffindor
>>221714063>The world is not separated being good people and Death eaters.">Except... it totally isNot even ONE bad guy changed sided huh lol
>>221741209>I can easily read that a "true" ravenclaw could pull out some Ravenclaw artifactNah. The Ravenclaw artifact was hidden in the room of requirements. That was that tiara the house ghost stole from the founder, her mother.
>>221741226None of the questlines matter in the game since they functionally all accomplish the same thing. The house only really determines how sick the house cloak looks when you go through the pain of catching all the keys, which is Slytherine by a mile.
>>221712770>Ravenclaw: Aspie retards>Hufflepuff: Normal people>Gryffindor: Stuck up assholes>Slytherin: Evil niggas
>>221741291lucretia malfoy. wormtail also might have, but it's hard to know for sure since he got murdered even for considering it
>>221741226No, Ravenclaw is the best to pick because it gives you the earliest access to and additional dialogue with >>221720723. Duh.
>>221741292it's not like there's exactly one artifact per house, the diadem is just the one that voldemort found
>>221741328>it's not like there's exactly one artifact per houseDunno, anon, the story pretty much makes it seem like that's exactly how it is. Well, kinda. I don't think there's a Hufflepuff artifact at all.
They’re all the same to me. Heh, isn’t that just a hufflepuff sort of answer?
>>221712891If you're an actual secret psycho, you wouldn't be sorted into Hufflepuff to begin with
>>221741353hufflepuff's was the teaset, which, yeah, wasn't an artifact because voldemort wasn't explicitly hunting down fabled artifacts, just something left behind by the founders that was explicitly theirs. we barely get any insight into the lives of the founders, i think it's hasty to assume that we've seen every secret they left behind
>>221741418>we barely get any insight into the lives of the foundersThat's by design. We also don't get any insight into Dumbledore's love life, yet we're supposed to believe that the old horndog was gay.
>>221712770>The school features a seven-year program, meaning students are generally 11–12 years old in their first year and graduate at 17–18 years oldto be that young again...>How do you respond without sounding mad?I wouldn't care lmao
>>221712825>weakness is a virtue>conformity is powerThey definitely love their evil little echo chambers.>>221727032>yeah bro the last decade didn't even happen you lost your job to a unqualified black illegal migrant lesbian because of her merits what are you even talking about lol namecalling
>>221741292>Ravenclaw's personal diadem is a Ravenclaw's house artifact??
>>221741505Yes. Just like Gryffindor's personal sword for some retarded reason is Gryffindor's house artifact.
>>221741469that's what i'm saying, though. rowling doesn't want to exhaust the mystery of her setting, there's tons of room to imagine still. hell, even beyond the founders, there's literally centuries of events in between then and harry's generation that's just totally dark. there's no reason to believe that only the original four were working strange magics into the walls of the castle
>>221741538>Gryffindor's personal swordPoint me to the page that it says its Gryffindor's personal sword anon, that like, he uses and weilds and shit, and it's no more than a ceremonial sword made for the houseI'll wait for that page
>>221741538am i just forgetting some point where dumbledore or someone explicitly talks about the "House Artifacts" as a classification or is that your term
As I said: Asian Pussy!
>>221741548Yeah, maybe. But if it's not in the books, then it's all just speculation and ultimately irrelevant anyway.
>>221741582i jumped into this chain of replies at the point where we had begun speculating on whether a ravenclaw could pull something other than godric's sword from the hat, speculation is the point
>>221733230I miss when memes were Pepe vs Feels Guy
>>221741572It's literally called "the sword of Godric Gryffindor" over and over again. It's one of the few items where we even get the fucking origin story (goblin-made, tried to steal it back, etc.) for. Yes, it was wielded as a weapon by Gryffindor. Read the fucking wiki page for the item.
>>221741609>speculation is the pointExcept that pulling the sword from it isn't speculation but verified by the books and made a big deal of. That it would work for other houses is never verfied or even implied.
>>221741418And the Slytherin horcrux was just a regular locket that had been passed down to Voldemort
>>221741634It is the sword of Godric Gryffindor.My argument is that it's made as a ceremonial token for the school.While the diadem we know it's an absolutely personal thing she made for herself
>>221712770yay xD
>>221741662i don't really disagree with you here, which is why i suggested Fawkes could have brought something other than the hat. i don't recall dumbledore's post-climax explanation precisely enough to say, but my instinct is that he was implying godric had actively set up the sword to be retrievable from the sorting hat
>>221741687i don't think he made it as a ceremonial token for the school. a) it was hidden away for ages, b) that thing was made for fucking killing, holy shit
>>221741687>My argument is that it's made as a ceremonial token for the school.And we pretty much know that that's not true. It was intended to be deadly, is wielded by different characters as a weapon and according to the wiki, Gyryffindor himself at the very least used it to threaten the lives of the Goblins who came to steal it (apparently from some secondary source written by Rowling herself). That's not what a ceremonial sword is or is used for.
>>221741872i get the anti-goblin racism desu
>>221712770>CUMFART!
>>221741825>a) it was hidden away for agesNot an argument in favour of it being a personal tool and not something for the school>b) that thing was made for fucking killingNot an argument in favour of it being a personal tool and not something for the school>>221741872>It was intended to be deadlyNot an argument in favour of it being a personal tool and not something for the school>Gyryffindor himself at the very least used it to threaten the lives of the Goblins who came to steal itNot an argument in favour of it being a personal tool and not something for the school
>>221741580She’s ugly
>>221742027>Not an argument in favour of it being a personal tool and not something for the schoolYes, anon, those are all excellent arguments for why it would be someone's personal weapon rather than some useless ceremonial item.
>>221742027you called it a ceremonial tokenceremonial objects are not hidden away where they can't be usedtokens are not practical implementsat a certain point you have to justify your assertion with points of your own. what evidence is there that this thing was made for the school?
>And for my final gift to the school I helped to found, a giant fucking snake that will jump out of the toilets and eat you
>>221723309Because his charisma and friendliness was a stronger characteristic than his bravery. Similar to Hermione’s bravery outweighing her intelligence.
>>221742147>that will jump out of the toiletsThere actually weren't any toilets back then.Wizards at the time just shat on the floor and magicked it away. Not kidding. Rowling said so.Does make you wonder though how they didn't notice the fucking "chamber of secrets" when they installed the toilets over its entrance and made it accessible via the basins.
>>221741580she's not a house unless you are insulting her
>>221742181>Because his charisma and friendliness was a stronger characteristic than his bravery.Ironic that he got himself killed recklessly in the most stupid manner then. That's the signature Gryffindor thing to do.
>>221742090>>221742077"Ceremonial token" doesn' mean "useless blunt shit" you imbred retards, that's number 1But here's a bunch more>Made almost enterely out of silver, a very TRASH metal for weapons (but that can still be sharpened and do some damage as most metals)>A very great shiny shiny metal to be used as ceremonial token>Has rubies and shit, the things you do not want if you are going to war and use it to mindlessly hit other people>Has rubies and shit, the thing you want if you want to put it on display or as a gift or, something like, a ceremonial token for someone>Made to last and never rust by the jew goblins, not intended to be something for himself "It doesn't rust untill I die", but rather something to survive time, coupled with the display looks, points more to a thing to give away and not something he'll use everydayThe craftmanship and the flashyness points out more on the side that it's something to display and less to be an everyday weapon
>>221742285it's not made out of silver, it's made of some special goblin steel that literally absorbs the basilisk's poison and then permanently gains the properties of basilisk's poison when it cuts you. shit was fucking made for killing
>>221742285Please read the fucking wikia page for it. It's not a ceremonial token and what you wrote is mostly bullshit.
