>Our bronze age is collapsingThis is an actual fucking line in the movie
>>221785496Nolan made a movie about how he hates immigrans.
>>221785496>what are we, on some kinda Odyssey?
Iron chads rise up
I heard this is a "modern retelling" of odyssey. Does that mean theres guns and shit? I won't be watching this unless theres cool guns
>>221785496Awkward dialogue? In a Nolan movie? I don't buy it for a second.
>>221785514>come on, cheer up, it's not like it's gonna take us twenty years to get back home!
>>221785514>Don't fly too close to the sun like Icarus >No, problem, Ody>And don't fuck your mom like Oedipus >All the dialogue is just stupidly referencing other Greek stories
egypt has fallen, billions must forge iron
>>221785496>wow look at that cyclops>you aughta see it
>>221785608>Don't fall in love with yourself like Narcissus>Dont be a tranny like Hermaphrodite
>reads a scroll>"This is like Greek to me."
>>221785514>>221785715kek'd
>>221785496I heard that Elliot Page's character is called the greatest warrior ever or something like that in the movie. That would be peak comedy if true.
>>221785514das rite *bronze age rap starts playing*
>>221785496>Circe, you're not invited to my big fat Greek wedding anymore.
It’s really sad to me that /tv/ is shitting on this movie so much because of online right-wing slopulism that hates it for being too woke or whatever instead of hating it for being another dumb fucking Nolan movie that manipulates its audience into thinking it’s profound as usual
Yes, son. The swan rapesex was amazing. But it led to a whole lotta problems. Be smarter than your old man.
>>221785770she plays Sinon who's a spy so that's unlikely. The character is from the Aeneid and doesn't even appear in Homer's works btw
>Hecate starts rapping like eminem
>>221785496Is this crap out already?
>>221785514>Prometheus is chained to a rock with an eagle tearing out his liver>looks directly at camera>"Sheesh! This place is for the birds!">audience goes fucking apeshit
They literally say FUCK OFF
>>221785864you can hate it for both retard dont be a coward and defend the blackwashing
They speak English in this film even though its set in ancient Greece.This is woke modernizing.
>>221785531>>221785572There's unironically a "For you" reply uttered during the bow scene at the end of the movie
>>221785496Now we just need a movie with Samuel L. Jackson as Ramses.>I'm Tired of these motherfucking people from the motherfucking sea
>>221786083That wouldn't be a problem if they didn't speak like modern Americans.
>>221785496>after all these years I have finally become the nostos
>>221785864Sonic says "blackwashing Greek culture is No Good".
>>221785864You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded
>>221785514>Odysseus enters the palace after 20 years>Black voice shouting in the background "OH-THEY-SEE him now!">*Bad Bunny starts playing*
>>221785522>"modern retelling" of odysseyThat, in a literal sense, could be good; and I wish Nolan made that movie instead.
>Ugh help me, Dr. Zeus
>>221785809>bronze age rap starts playingNolan cast Travis Scott as a bard
>>221785496Nolan cannot write for shit. If he wants an example of medicore White men in Hollywood, he should look in a mirror.
>*Odysseus gives his men a extremely technical explanation of his latest scheme*>"In Linear B, wánax"
>>221785496Everyone in this looks too modern
>>221786966It's an adaptation you drooling fucking moron. Did you think they sent cameras back in time to record the actual thing? Fucking worthless disgusting pathetic sacks of shit all over this board, goddamn it's gonna feel going seeing you fucking sacks of filth get absolutely humiliated when it's successful.
>>221786904Good thing he isn't writing exclusively, you didn't fucking pussy bitch. It's almost like he's a director or something you fat zit faced retard.
>>221785522>I heard this is a "modern retelling" of odyssey.That just means rap and sub-saharan blacks.
>>221787005Take it easy, Rajesh.
>>221785496I mean yeah, it’s a stupid and cringe line, but it’s still nowhere near as bad as “You're pining for a daddy you didn't even know”
Should I read Odyssey first, or after the movie? I am a bit afraid that reading first would spoil my enjoyment.
>>221786903Look at this idiot he got lotr confused with rop lol
>>221786941kek
>>221787005>writing exclusivelyDoesn't matter. He is like Medusa but whatever he look at turns into a poo so wretchedly foul that it would make the sewer cleaners of Bangalore keel over in disgust.
>>221786266>Antinous: “Odysseus is such a bitch!…Aaaand he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
>>221786990Hmm. You're starting to sound a bit nervous, desu. Worried it's going to flop? Heh.
>>221787069It's pretty short. Id say before, so you can have your own mental picture of the whole thing before letting someone else's be imposed onto you.
>>221786085>There's unironically a "For you" reply uttered during the bow scene at the end of the movie>Tell me, beggar, do you think you can draw this bow?>It would be extremely painful>You're a big guy!>For youTWANG!Holy kino
>>221786829Honestly he could have gotten away with the casting if it was a Romeo and Juliet 1996 style flick. Make Odysseus a PMC commander fighting some sandbox war and he gets blackmailed by an EU intelligence agency so he has to wander around different conflict zones doing their bidding for 20 years while his wife has to stave off corporate intrigue in the boardroom of their security company. The gods are literal deities but also spooks and glowies helping and hindering him along the way.
>>221785496>We’re going to build a wall, and the sea people are going to pay for it>Assyria’s not sending us their best, believe me
>>221785496I believe it
>>221785670Hermaphroditus wasn't trans.
>>221785496>Odysseus comes up with the ultimate weapon for defeating the Troyans>Calls it 'Project Icarus'
>What if we built a giant wooden horse and put soldiers inside it, then attacked once the Trojans bring the horse inside the gate?>Like some kind of... Trojan Horse.>Damn it Odysseus, that's so crazy it just might work!
>perhaps the real sea peoples were all the friends we made along the wayWhat the FUCK did Nolan mean by this
>>221786890He is the VERY FIRST THING you see in the film
So if he liked working with an actor on his movie, he just finds a character for them to play in every subsequent production? How then does an actor get originally selected? What if I, a paying loyal fan, wish to see Ezra Miller cast in a role of a Nolan film instead of Matthew Damon for the 4th time?
One of the characters in this movie says Verbatim "We're greek"
He's the dude in the boat from the Ionian.With his boat and his men and his big ol' sword.He'll cut your butt from a '52 Ford.
>Zeus damn it, you’re a loose onager, Odysseus! The tyrannos is up my ass after that little stunt you pulled with the Lacaedominians!>I want your xiphos and your royal signet on my desk, now!>and your other xiphos!
>>221786056lmao
>>221785864We shit on it because the entire production looks cheap and sloppy you disingenuous faggot.
>>221788205
Just got in my seat will let fellow /tv/ bros know how it is
>>221785522>modern odyssey retelling with gunsbro, you're not gonna belive what i've got for you...
>>221786056hearty kek
>Oracle of Delphi, I'm finna axe you a question
>>221785864> black helen Get the FUK out
>>221790078lol another case of anon complaining about casting choicesI won't say anything until watching the movie, nolan kino incoming
>>221786056kek
>>221790217Part of the fun is inventing batshit crazy crap and seeing if the anti woke crowd buys into it then goes on places like social media making video then watch idiots spread itAchilles is played by Elliot is one of my best People who rage watch shit are the easiest to trollTom holland being bisexual in it was weird though. I mean why was he kissing Pattinson
>>221790311Lol but they were right about black helen of troy and you were saying the same thing until it was confirmed
>>221790357Huh? Was odyessus son kissing Pattinson
>>221785864no leftwinger would give a shit about this film if it wasn't intentionally subversive. instead they must spend 24/7 online defending it to own donald trump.
>>221790490There isn’t a left wing or right wingIt’s just poor people being aimed at each other by con men hired by the born rich That’s all.
>>221788024I laughed out loud when the pajeet and his black friend said that to the only character (some random old white man on an island) who's actually speaking greek in the entire moive
>>221787005But why can't Nolan get a talented writer to polish his scripts? It would improve his films considerably.
>>221785522"modern" just means women, blacks and LGTV themes.
>>221790609it's painfully clear that the entire industry doesn't give a shit about the scripts and hasn't for a long time
>>221785770Remember, they need to shoehorn blacks and trannies in for the movie to be eligible for film awards now
>>221786990For "modern" read sleek, clean, crispBasically the fault of modern digital movies, overreliance on CGI, actors caked in makeup and unwilling to dirty themselves, under flat dull lighting with audio from the soundstageMeanwhile you can watch a film from the 90s or earlier and see actors sweating, covered in dirt or grime, actually looking and sounding like real people
>I sea peoples
>>221786865>menelaus menelaus
>>221785522>a "modern retelling"Technically that's O Brother Where art Thou
>>221786083If Mel Gibson made this they would have spoken ancient Greek and it would have been a better film because of it.
>>221785510He is an immigrant.
>>221790528there most certainly is a left and a right. The crazy thing is, all the problems, all the fighting, all the school shootings, assassinations, it all comes from the left. So IF there is some rich guy stirring the pot, it’s interesting that he only uses one side of the aisle to do it. But even more interesting, is that it happens the same way in every western country. I wish we could focus on the top one percent, but when the left floods your country with murderers, thieves, and rapists by the millions, you unfortunately cannot focus on that threat, as you have a significantly larger one to deal with. That’s not even beginning to speak on child mutilations and grooming. Jesus fucking christ, if you want us to focus on the one percent, stop this shit, for fucks sake
>>221785514>Me reading this and all the repliesFuck's sake, a couple random people could write a better campy Life of Brian style comedy based on this story than actual Hollywood money super power and the anons here could probably do a better job with nothing but AI too. Glorious bastards like you people are why I don't need cable.
>>221787900>The boss hires people he likes to work with?Yup.
What has changed beginning with TDKR? Why did he become such a sloppy filmmaker despite having the biggest possible budgets and not relying on CGI?
>>221785522He should have done it like Romeo and Juliette with Leonardo.
>helen: yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm black
so... it's not a simultion?
>>221792193>can I play the aulos any more?>of course you can>well I couldn't before
I heard there is a scene where Matt Damon jumps on top of the Cyclops and suddenly Jack Black appears and yells "CYCLOPS JOCKEY!" and all the zoomers in the audience throw their popcorn and poke one of their eyes out and fortnite dance while blood streams down their faces. Bravo Nolan!
>>221793575I would buy 10 tickets if that actually happened. Missed opportunity nolan. If you're going to make a farce you should commit to the bit.
>>221788475>Mumbai
I just hope the trollocs look real.
>>221793636You mad at my Indian superiorority? This is great movie btw lot of fights with sword and raping music.
>>221786865>>221792193>>221793358
>>221787213that requires far too much creativity for nolan's mind
>>221793978>raping musicCan't tell if typo or all music including "rapping" is music to rape to in India. I'm guessing the latter.
>>221794155yep,he's a hack
>>221785496I am John Odyssey and it´s time to sail
>>221785894Actually, the trojan war was all part of his plan to reduce the number of people/demigods. The swan rape was a bonus.
>>221785864You're literally just a reactionary phaggot except for troonslop that is pushed protecting it from any sort of criticism
>>221785531for sneed
>>221785864Go away you freak
>>221785496>Odysseus, are we.... the sea people?...
>>221785864I hate it for the checklist woke casting, awful casting even outside that, and the usual Nolan bullshit. Why do you morons think you have to hate something for only one reason?
>>221785496The Sea People were Semites (Jews). FACT.
>>221785864i dont care about the raceswaps or whatever its just a shit film with terrible editing and awful dialogue
>>221785522No but there's rap
>>221785496Just here to say that word "slop" is overused and meaningless unless applied to super-mega-cgi-good guy vs bad guy-cape$hit, in which case, it is accurate.
>>221785522It means it's been retold through a critical feminist lens.
>>221785496
>>221792157Fucking lol
>>221797318I got some Sea People for free from a guy in the alley behind the convenience store. All I had to do was close my eyes and suck them through a hose.
>you're pining for a daddy you didn't even know>...>...>he's right behind me, isn't he
I literally came to /tv/ to whine about this very line after I was just clicking around on the camrip. Everyone is clowning on the weebums but the dialogue is where it's truly dreadful. I'm in a little bit of shock in how bad it is to the point I'm actually a little bit interested to watch it now. For free, of course.
>>221785901Matt Damon calls her that.
>>221786990>goddamn it's gonna feel going seeing you fucking sacks of filth get absolutely humiliated when it's successful.can you literally imagine not only being THIS fucking blatantly seething, but obviously judging your opinion on everything *based solely on what people you seethe at this hard think about it?
>>221786266>>221787109KEK
>>221785496chudcels how do we cope?
>>221785496>Sea people could be here
>>221799083>images (1).jfif.jpgwhat are you even doing with your life
>>221785496>those costumeswhen did nolan get so amateurish? looks like some shit you would see on a daytime TV show
>>221785514>>221785568>"guys, remember when I said we'll soon be Home? er...">"about that..."
>>221799118>phoneposter doesnt know how windows works jump off a cliff
>>221792157kek
>>221786083they are mostly warriors and should really be speaking in a more gruff manner>"ayo Menelaus mah g we finna ba bussin dem troy opps with this horse no cap they ain't be thinkin this is sus"
>>221799264we can get home faster. here's how...*folds a map in half and sticks a quill through it*
>>221787510>"could you explain your plan on how to breach Troy's gates again, Odysseus?">*picks up clay tablets* "imagine this is the Trojan gates...">*picks up stylus* "now imagine this is the horse...">*folds tablet in half and sticks stylus through*
>>221799284nah I fucking hate typing with my thumbs, I have to sharpie the letters on my keyboard since they're all fucking worn off; now can you explain to a windows user how the fuck windows MAKES your filenames be like that
>>221798498Close your eyes and suck it through a hose?
>>221785496>>Our bronze age is collapsing>This is an actual fucking line in the movieNo it's not. Is it?
>>221799863it's not
>>221787900I thought Ezra was blacklisted for being difficult to work with, and also a walking pr disaster?
>Odysseus: nonsense Sinon, they'll never fall for it, it's too crazy>Sinon: that's why it's going to work
>OW MAH LEG
>>221799953>It's not possible!>No, it's necessary.>*mumble rap starts blaring*
>>221799863It is
>>221785496What if Odysseus goes through a turnstyle thingy that shoots him backwards through time so he can save the bronze age from destruction?
>Odysseus: Years from now, Telemachus, people will invent paper and read about what we did here in books>Telemachus: As if!
>>221786056lollll
So are they all just using modern English?
>>221785522it opened with pete rock and cl smooth so you tell me.
>>221800259I wonder how black-and-bronzed Penelope was by the time Odysseus got home
>>221787213There is a comic book with this premise. The Infinite Horizon. Coming home from war in the middle east when shit hits the fan and the global order collapses.Satellites go down because of the Kessler effect caused by a chinese anti-satellite weapon, some russian virus eats all the oil, etcetera.The sirens are a cult started by a white woman NGO charity worker helping feed Africa who turned evil.
>>221785864/tv/ hates it because it's being shilled every 5 minutes, you retard.>>221786990Shut the fuck up, Nolan.
>Odysseus: WHAT YEAR IS IT?!>Calypso: 11...67>everyone turns and looks right at the camera
>>221785514>m-m-mama say Oedipus is the devil
>>221787213>>221794155This exact concept is probably in twenty scripts that no one ever read because they were written by some non-famous white guy. I can't wait for Hollywood to collapse.
>>221799953I can't wait for Tom Cruise to star as Elliot Page in the movie about the making of this movie
>mfw this thread
>>221799477>uuuuuuh, in GREEK, professor?
Nolan has always been a fraudfuck all you slop eaters who thought Oppenheimer was profound or that Tenet wasn't dogshit. At least Tarantino could make an ACTUAL good movie once.And here we are. Shitting on Greek mythology with trans soldiers and helen of congo.>most beautiful person in the world, btw
>>221786266>Helen of Detroit walks in>"ahh HELL NAH dis is MY od-ah-sea, I aint need no ACHILLES in here! *snaps fingers*, *fire detector beeps*"
>>221785514>AYO, THIS ALL GREEK TO ME
>>221785531>Awkward dialogue? In a Nolan movie?Oh, that's part of the Nolan experience? Whew, I was nervous for a second. I was taken aback by the nigger in the opening scene delivering his lines in a casual nigger manner. But now I understand this is top tier avant garde filmmaking and I will start forcing myself to enjoy it like the sophisticated Nolan fan I am trying to become.
>>221800657movies died when the oscars introduced DEI requirements, now you have to have a dindu and a troon to get good boy points.
>/tv/ makes fun of the Bane scenes for literal decades due to how retarded and goofy they were>/tv/ then acts shocked when Nolan puts out something goofy and retarded again
>>221800576Having seen the clip in the image I can't help but think about how the Greeks themselves wrote some plays about how women suffer in war.The Trojan Women being a surviving one. I only mention this because noticeably you have Andromache, Hecuba, and Cassandra all bemoaning their fate in some way... but they all blame and are angry at Helen begging Menelaus to punish her when they return to Sparta. He promises but then goes back on it because Helen's too beautiful/he loves her too much. If in the movie he does punish her doesn't that mean he's honoring what the women in Troy want? Isn't that feminist or are we supposed to sympathize with Helen here.
>>221799284hes a fag but he is right. You are a massive cock sucker for having files named like that
I feel like I'm in a maze without Ariadne's thread... and the minotaur is horny.
>>221785514Fuck you Nolan you fucking hack
>>221792157Now that's just plain hackery.
>>221799083Isn't Clav one of Peter Thiel's literal rentboys?
>>221800576What is with all the gaslighting going on trying to convince me that this is attractive? It's mainly women too saying that she's so beautiful. Like are they fucking blind?
>>221788483What a fucking gem
>>221788475ATTENTION BENJAMIN NETANYAHU, THIS MAN IS IN POSSESSION OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS AND SURROUNDED BY PALESTINIAN AND IRANIAN SCHOOLGIRLS, NUKE HIM IMMEDIATELY
Everyone delivers their lines like they are bored to death. Charlize sounds both bored and like she's reading directly out of the script. The dialogue is too casual too. Like I wouldn't expect a prince to refer to his father, the king. as "dad" during that time period, ESPECIALLY in conversation with people of a lower station. Is this Nolan trying to have his actors sound "grounded" or something? It's actually immersion breaking, compared to the dialogue in something like Spartacus (the show). Spartacus was ridiculous of course, but it actually made me believe I was hearing what could have been ancient Latin speech patterns in direct translation. This sounds like really bored actors doing a table read.
>>221799953>"ya jokin! fugeddaboutit!">"ay Tonelaus, on ma mudda. Wooden horses!"
>>221786990>Did you think they sent cameras back in time to record the actual thing?No he didn’t think that.
>>221801764>charybdis starts sucking their trireme>"ey I'm rowin ere! I'm rowin ere!"
>>221800607Aaaand... this one fell flat.
>Oh ye gods! My siege is ruined!>but what if I were to take my army and disguise it as a present for the trojans? Delightfully devilish seymemnom
>>221801414I dunno, man, somehow Zendaya is a supermodel. I can only assume they put something in the kids' lunch milk cartons for all the Zoomers.
>>221785944YesThe.Odyssey.2026.WEB.iT.2160p.TrannyHD.mkv
>>221802216>TrannyHDOh boy the Ellen Page edition.
>>221802330Congratulations, you figured out the joke!
>>221799953When the ship is about to go past the siren island and and Matt Damon tells his crew to tie him up so he can hear them, the dialogue is more or less this.
>>221800175>YUH!>TRAVIS SCOTT YUNG NIG-->distorted explosion transitions into freezeframe>HOL UP HOL UP HOL UP GOT ME STARGAZIN' (yuh ! yuh !)>Odysseus staring up at the stars>sees a constellation of a woman transitioning into a man>FINNA GET THE YUNG BAR UP BABEY-Y-ee-e
>>221785522No but it does mean shitskin paki jeets, chinks and Plenty'O'Niggers pretending to be Greek for some reason. Makes no mention it, nor the tranny explained. Supposedly a 4 ft 5 in troon is the best soldier/warrior to ever walk the earth.
>>221786266
>>221792193
>>221802117>somehow Zendaya is a supermodel.she got that Blue Steel lookwait till you see Magnum
>>221785864Ironically, I've seen less /pol/ shittery and more genuine critique here than anywhere else huffing Nolan's fat farts. Bad cgi editing, bad film editing, and yes, Helen was miscasted and is so obviously wearing a wig, hair untucked, even though we're supposed to believe she is a natural beauty. What a joke. This film will be hated by anyone with a brain and a heart to stand up against idiots calling any criticism = racism. Simply false and plain to see what an unpolished turd this pos film is.
>>221793978>raping music.Typical rapejeet lmao
>>221785531
>>221785496I'm so outraged.
>Odysseus...>I think... we need to abandon the idea of coming home early
>>221792756No Heath Ledger hype to prop him up
>>221785514>Cerberus covers his eyes with paws and whimpers
>>221794202Certainly can't tell if bait
>>221802943
>>221800385>helping feed Africa>turned evil
>ay m'ask yusum, Ody>you think you can keep them safe while being here in Troy?
>>221785496>>Our bronze age is collapsing
>>221792756Personally I found it really jarring moving the setting to literal fucking Manhattan, the most recognizable city in the world. Using Chicago and mostly hiding obvious landmarks prior to that was a lot better.And yes, I know, Gotham is meant to be NYC. But it's not supposed to be literally our real world NYC, with nothing different about it at all.Then the whole plot was retarded and the villain was dumb and they apparently put the entire fucking police force into the sewers for months and they all came out clean shaven and shit at the end. None of it made any sense.
>>221797339>I dont care about the raceswapsWhy dont you care?
You should always care about cultural vandalism and the rewriting of history.
>>221785522i made it up here months ago in leaks threads and posted about it constantly in order for today when people like (you) make posts about falling for my bait
>>221800444How would be "Batman" in Greek?Nuchteridas?
>>221785809Kek
>>221800576I think what gets me here is that Menelaus punishes his wife for being kidnapped and held hostage via Aphrodite. Why even take her back then? Just disappear her in the siege or something, clearly Zeus doesn't mind his daughter getting a little mutilated, he wouldn't mind her dying either.
>>221786990Shills are getting mad
>>221803492Nyxteridanthropos
>>221786120how would modern Americans understand them then?
>>221785496>>221786056>Sisyphus is pushing a boulder up a hill in Tartarus>record scratch>freeze frame>Yeah, you're probably wondering how I got into this Sisyphean situation.>Well, it all started in ancient Greece...
>>221802943>>221803019Shills can't meme.We aren't giving you lovers free advertising
>>221803647Kek
>>221803666Shills?
>>221785522It just means the translation they used isn't derogatory to women. Which is stupid as Homer was quite derogatory to women.
>ITS GOT RAP IN IThuh? Its talking while rhyming. Do people think that "talking with rhyming" wasn't a thing since the age of talking?
>>221803871Free?
Did they finally show how they invited Salads?
>IT'S GOT KFC IN IThuh? You know that need oil to deep fry chicken. Do you think they escavate that oil? Nope it's olive oil which becomes "grease" (see how it sounds like Greece). Korfu the Greek island was the first to deep fry chicken wings
>>221785514Lel
>>221792157
>>221804064>look up the origin of grease>it actually is from greaseHoly shit
>>221786966>Everyone in this looks too modernAmericunts from Hollywood nowadays are incapable of making anything that doesn't represent their modern schizophrenia from California.Anything has to be filtered through the shit stained prism of modern SJW idiocy.Even when they make an "adaptation" of The Witcher books that already are feminist as fuck because Sapcuck wrote them like that, there's literally no need to change anything, the magic bitches are already empowered, smart, beautiful, independent, male cuckolds are crawling on their knees around them.No, even that wasn't enough for the modern progressive Netflix producers and showrunners.They had to paint the whole story and setting with the shit stains and reshape it into a familiar form of the modern SJW schizophrenia.
>>221802216My download is stuck at 41% can someone seed?
>Odysseus reunites with wife>I'm going to call you Ulysses now>Why?>Because you spent 10 years roaman around the ocean
>>221803647>*someBODY once told me the world is gonna roll me~*
>>221785514THIS IS ACHILLES, HE'S GOT MY HEEL!
>>221788475>>221793978SAAAAAR REDEEM THE ODYSSEY
Is Morbius in this?
