So now that the dust has settled, who SHOULD play Helen of Troy? What women would cause you to sign up for 10 years of hand to hand beach warfare?
>>221796734No one can really feel the quota, that's why it was just an oral story, its like trying to represent one of Lovecraft's entities, it just falls flat because their descriptions are very ominous
Dafne
>>221796734Hunter
>>221796756lol no
Jessica Biel
>>221796767>feelfill*
>>221796779
>>221796734Me. I clean up pretty good.
>>221796734it can't possibly be difficult to find some runway model or regional beauty queen who looks the part and can follow basic directionthere must be tens of thousands to choose from
>>221796734
>>221797141looks more Athena than Helen
>>221797163he said Helen of Troy, not Alien of Ilion
>>221796767I like this post. Helen of Troy is very difficult to faithfully portray because she’a meant to embody the most beautiful ideals of the society describing her. She’s like Guinevere in that way. There is no “proper” depiction.>Which means the woman we got in Odyssey was lame because she wasn’t really that pretty
>>221797185Stop being mean to her.
Probably, Sydney Sweeney.
>>221797116Well this is apparently Miss Greece 2025 so.....maybe it's more difficult than you think.
>>221796734> What women would cause you to sign up for 10 years of hand to hand beach warfare?Not a damn one of them, because she wasn’t a soldier’s wife now was she? There is nothing more cucked than taking a spear to the throat while working as a fluffer for another man. Your last thoughts as you bleed out being hope that Menelaus can one day slide back into his cheating wife’s pussy. Pathetic.
>>221797356>Dead-eyed bimbo portraying the most beautiful woman in the world
>>221797438Helen was the pretense, but the war quickly became more about the majesty of one last great conflict before the collapse of the golden age. It’s like missing out on prom; Helen might’ve been Prom Queen, but you weren’t there to see *her.*
>>221796734There is only 1 true answer.
>>221797366the 'big' pageants all celebrate some flavor of ugliness nowgotta hold one of your own so you don't end up with something like this
I would have traveled the Seven Seas for she
>>221796734How about never showing Helen directly? Just the reaction of the people watching her, showing them in disbelief of how beautiful she isThe public then can imagine whatever they consider peak beauty
>>221797163Well she does seem otherworldy enough to be considered a demigod
>>221796734Zendaya
>>221796734>fighting because your ruler simped for some bitch (and didn't even bag her)Cucked shit
>>221796734The war wasnt really for her, she was just the perfect excuse to finally invade Troy
>>221797814yo dawg, I love how you put that shit in street terms for a nigga like me
>>221797356It's already happening.
>>221798847Even Homer couldn't make this not cringe.
Prime Rebecca Romijn Stamos.
>>221797356fuck off saarbloody benchod bastard fuck you
>>221796967Tits or GTFO>>221797163She's too busy working with Eggers. He should have done The Odyssey. Eggers would have been autistically accurate to the story and Bronze Age Greece.
>>221796769remember it's the FACE that launched a thousand ships, not body
>>221799747That line comes from Marlowe's Faust, written many, many centuries after Homer.Might as well use the Hades games as references.
>>221797148I forget about Emma. It definitely should have been her.
Karina Hart, obviously.
>>221799799my point was Dafne has a fantastic body.But that face? Yikes!
>>221796734Get her out of retirement
>>221796734>who SHOULD play Helen of Troy?Prime Monica Belluci.
>>221799917Don't look into her now, Anon. It wasn't the fairytale ending we'd all hoped for her.
>>221800015omg looks so much like my first cousin i was beaten for making out with..worth it. circa 2005
Prime Mal Malloy
>>221796734Whenever I think of "iconic female" casting, Elizabeth Debicki comes to mind. Mostly because of the height, I admit but Helen definitely needs some kind of imperious stature.If we were going by history though you'd probably want someone a bit tanner.
>>221796769The hips that launched a thousand ships.
>>221800412She actually even kinda looks like the women Greek portrayed in statues, so she could work perfectly for that role
>>221800412Only good answer in the thread
>>221800401We need to go bigger
Debecki or Lucy Boynton
>>221796734EverI mean would it have been so hard?
>>221800729Nobody is waging war for a cunt that would give them chinless boys
>>221800846not snood. Ever. Ever mews
Elena Kampouris cuz she is greek and hot.
>>221796734Babs
>>221797291the feet that launched a thousand ships
>>221796734This is supposedly the earliest surviving depiction of Helen.>>221800412Debicki wouldn't take the role. Mostly because Helen is barely even a role, even in Homer she's a very slight character. The only reason we got Diane Kruger in Troy (which is about as well cast as you can get for these things) was because she was pretty new and obviously would say yes to a film with Brad Pitt in it.
>>221796734Nicki 10 years ago. It would have been kino. Helen is contemporary BBL negress video vixen with huge tits, everyone else is mediteranean guys dressed in somewhat historically accurate. You know they would go fucking monkey mode if Nicki got isekai'd into ancient greece and Aphrodite was dumb tastelless fucking bimbo.
The face that launched ten billion tiktoks
>>221796776Didn't he shoot himself?
>>221796734No one, make her character like the adults from Peanuts.
>>221801937or Maris from Frasier
>>221802097or Jaws from Jaws
>>221796734Mammario.
>>221802128It's a me, mammario
>>221801796more like the face that was blocked by a single candle
>>221801747Nicki is half Pajeeta
Prime Amber Heard
>>221802251the face that launched a thousand Shits
>>221802251Or if you want darker, Med type features, Victoria Justice.
Only one obvious choice, she must look regal first of all. She was queen of sparta and was stolen and thus Paris broke guest friendship that was why 1,164 (as in book two of the iliad says) ships went to to take her back, her beauty was just later cope to justify Paris actions
>>221796734Any good looking *white* blonde woman can do it.
>>221802298meh. her nose is kinda wonky looking and she has a weird Dorito face
>>221796734In their prime? Aika or Melody Marks.
I think it should be someone from the levant, preferably with green eyes, and a distinctive but cute nose.
>>221801747Oh, I'd take a bimbo Helen of Troy. Then again, I think everything would be better for the inclusion of cute bimbos.
:3
>>221802395Also she's a demigod, she's supposed to look A+++.
