>>221966891
>>221966904
she is evil

>>221966792
That's too bad, it was pretty funny.

>>221966792
i couldnt be bothered pirating it.

Quite ironic, the movie is better than most slop released today but the audience is just not interested in seeing it, even if they would like it in the end

>>221966792
It's a shame, I really enjoyed it a ton. It'll probably develop a cult following later

>>221966792
>visual gag lands, character still has to make a comment about it
Cut out all the quips and it's actually a fun adventure movie

>>221966792
Glad it flopped

>>221966792
>>Masters.of.the.Universe.2026.2160p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.H.265-FLUX
How do I open this link? It's not working for me

>>221968490
You have to ask the question: for whom this toy commercial was made? Modern kids don't know it or want it, the old guard who played with the toys haven't cared for years.

I've downloaded He-Man and I'll probably be watching it at weekend
I'm not expecting much and it'll be shit, but I wanna see it

>>221966792
Its mid but miles better than the fuckin Nolan shit.

>>221966792
>3rd flop

I saw it and it was like 40 minutes too long. Also the plot was a fucking mess. Their grand plan in the end was to walk up to Skeletor and just beat him up. There's zero stakes in it like The Mandoglup and Shitto movie.

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pass

>>221968660
>>221968377

Bezos already said fuck it and greenlit a sequel anyway. When you are Amazon you can burn money on pet projects

>>221970208
Its good.

Doesnt deserve to be 2.5hrs could easily have been 90 mins

>>221971633
Yeah, it meandered. It started off decently and you think it's going to be about Adam dealing with his father's disappointment in him, but they really do nothing with it. They do more with Teela/MoA and their issues than the main character. And the jokes were kind of flat.

The performances, fights and CGI were alright, but the script was not good with shit music choices. In the end it felt like a smaller scale Thor 3 don't by someone purely for paycheck.

raceswapped dogshit

>>221968402
>>221968698
this

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I'm going to watch this later tonight.

And then I'm gonna come back here and tell you faggots telling me that it doesn't suck why you're wrong.

Prepare yourselves.

>>221971942
It's not good. It's not the worst thing ever, either. It's just uninspired... well, slop, to be honest.

how woke is it?

It was... watchable. Messy as fuck script, though; wasn't shocked at all seeing four different screenwriters credited for it. Almost 150 minutes of movie, and it still struggles to communicate its basic ass anti toxic masculinity message (wasn't a big fan of the destruction of the statues of kings). Best parts are the costumes and creatures. Also, some nice bits of scenery. Oh, and unironically Leto chewing the shit out of Skeletor.

>>221972152
>anti toxic masculinity message
gross
skip then thx

>>221972149
Not very.

He man is the actual hero and is competent he doesnt backseat to Teela lile Mario does to Peach in Mario Movie. The only woke part about it is he is sorta sensitive and likes to talk about his feelings.

>>221972149
Chud here. I wasn't offended.
A bit of girlbossing and Idris Elba'ing was all that I could see

>>221972248
thats too much for me at this point
i wish there were antihistamines for woke shit cuz im allergic at this point

>>221972248
I didnt see any girlbossing. There is even a scene where Teela lusts after hemans muscles.

>>221972180
That itself is not even really the big issue. The inconcise, sloppy way it's done is what fucks it up.
>>221972205
>He man is the actual hero and is competent he doesnt backseat to Teela lile Mario does to Peach in Mario Movie.
He's useless until he activates his power 1 hour in, becomes semi-useful once his father tells him he shouldn't have been as strict with him as a kid, and only becomes useful when the Sorceress tells him the power is inside him because she picked him as the vessel because he's got feefees instead of brood barbarism.

>>221972314
Probably referring to when she saves Adam at the beginning. Lame complaint. He's got no powers, no weapons and no idea what is going on.

>>221972374
The young Adam scenes too, girls get it done vibes but it isn't cynical or demeaning.
Chuds gonna Chud

>>221966891
She's playing Skeletor?

>>221972414
He's a prepubescent kid just starting any training in the beginning, anon, and she's bigger.

The casting of young Teela is a bit odd. She looks about 5 years older than him.

>>221966792
how is this different than
>Masters.of.the.Universe.2026.iNTERNAL.1080p.10bit.HDRip.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA.mkv
which was out 3 weeks ago? Aside from a few instances of Russian hardcoded subs? Movie sucked by the way. Literally soulless with zero risks taken. Most of the creatures are just dudes flailing around in rubber suits despite being surrounded by 100 million dollars worth of shitty CGI.

>>221972149
lame loser ineffective protag who's constant butt of every joke
desexualized raceswapped female sidekick
Raceswap galore.
hates the source material
lamenting masculinity at every corner

very woke
IP rape

>>221972414
>but it isn't cynical or demeaning.
liar

>>221966792
How did you fuck up the backrooms announcement so bad?
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/221549847/

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>>221972414
>>221972509

>>221972569
>Aside from a few instances of Russian hardcoded subs?
It was also badly cropped.

Which is worse, this one or the new Star Wars Glup Shitto and Gugu?

>>221966891
>>221966904
What happened to her huge booba?

>>221972636
About the same.

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>>221972611
>15yo
That's post-puberty, anon. Adam is about 7 or 8 when it starts, and yes, girls can beat up boys at that age when they are a foot taller and heavier.

>>221972636
Why not just watch The Death of Robin Hood instead?

"Wokeness" isn't really the problem. The story progression is clumsy, and the whole thing really lacks drive.

>>221972749
My 6'4 friend has an older sister by 3 years. He was always big for his age and she still beat the shit out of him from like age 8 to 11

Am I the asshole for having to do a bunch of mental gymnastics to figure out what Adam supposedly mainly lacked was trust in himself because of "toxic masculinity" in how he was raised? This shit didn't click at all watching the movie. Like, what do you mean trust in yourself? Thing needs doing, so you do thing. Seriously, it's not like the nigga had severe PTSD or something.

>>221973010
>I have the power (but I can only utilize it once I am told that I'm valid)!

>>221973010
The story never really settles on any point. The idea, I think, is he's supposed to find the power in himself, not through validation of others (namely his dad). But it doesn't really work when your powers are given externally via a sword.

It doesn't really go the other way, either, because for all the time given to 'talking things out', it blows up in his face every time.

In the end, I don't think there is any kind of message one way or the other, except there isn't real kind of character arc at all. Whole thing feels like Scooby Doo (2002) but it never finishes the joke.

>>221973010
>>221973095
we're living in a gynocentric society.
seeking validity from others is crucial aspect of how women think.

>>221973127
But his dad does validate him in the end.

>>221973127
And the powers are given externally via a sorceress.

>>221973237
That's after he finds himself. It's not something he needed. But as I said, it never has a consistent message, nor does Adam ever really have any complex about it throughout the movie.

The base joke is Adam spends his whole life looking for the sword, which is a pretty clear penis metaphor, only to find out he had the power all along. Except he did need the sword to unlock the power, so... it's not really saying anything.

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>>221966792
Maybe I missed something but was this supposed to be adam's sister?

Why does this feel like kingdom hearts isn't his sword supposed to be one of a kind?

>>221973339
Yeah, it's meant to be She-Ra.

It's a different sword. He-Man=Sword of Power. She-Ra=Sword of Protection.

>>221966792
I was born in 1993. I never saw anything MotU-related besides some youtube memes and some discussion about it on /tv/.
Should I watch this one or would I be lost without knowing anything about it?

>>221974028
>Should I watch this one
Mehh.
>would I be lost without knowing anything about it?
Nah.

>>221973752
>still friendzones him

>>221974044
Thanks. Might torrent to shit-watch at home.

>>221974129
Hetero relationships gets you an R-rating these days.

>>221972650
Like tears in rain.

>>221972650
She took the exercise pill around the time of GLOW.

>>221970225
>miles better than the fuckin Nolan shit.
actually true

>>221970225
>>221966792
people should just watch the 1987 Masters Of The Universe.

https://youtu.be/ZbGvK-lgWSM?si=0pWx1_r7Qu1PgdiC

>>221973752
That outfit needs to remove the non shiny parts and have it just bare flesh
Terrible costume designe

>>221976837
>we can't have teela showing skin
>meanwhile he-man costume is standard comic book
I can dislike but understand covering up girls, but if you are going to, cover up the menfolk as well.

>>221966792
watching it now, this shit is more funny and entertaining than most things ive seen in a few years. pity it just looks so low budget.

>>221966792
Somebody please post the Orko webm in 2k

It was fun and I liked it.

>>221977184
she got a way more accurate costume near the end

>>221977850
Which you see for about 30 frames.

>>221966792
It was decent. Would have been a lot stronger if they didn't do the 4th-wall-shattering cringe meta humor with Adam creating all the toy names for people. The worst one is he invented the name for the girl who he only knew when she was a bratty 13 year old. The meta humor worked for Skeletor appearing in the office and gym and talking like a queer because he is some kind of dark wizard demon that could conceivably have some meta omniscience/self-awareness. And there were some other scenes where you could feel the script being coerced to suit modern culture, like after he lifts the crashed ship he was obviously going to kiss the girl, but then it's played awkward.

>>221966792
I thought it was a pretty fun little movie. For every part I didn’t like there was something great. I think a truly epic film existed somewhere inside it. 7/10
The biggest hurdle was the fact no one knows what He Man is anymore. To most people he’s just that funny singing guy from the meme.
Without having seen the cartoon I think the movie comes off as really dumb, because the cartoon is, and they capture that so well in this film in a good way that humors anyone who has seen the old show.

>>221966792
did you see when they replaced duncan aka man at arms with a nigger? didnt even watch the trailer so i was surprised, wondering why this white girl is calling this charcoal gorilla her dad

>>221966792
it was actually pretty good.

PLEASE POST LOTS OF SCREENSHOTS.

ESPECIALLY TEELA PITS!

THANKS!

>>221978161
>a nigger
>charcoal gorilla
that's Idris Elba you fucking pleb, and he was good in that role

the part where he is sent to earth is cringe, doing quips and cringy out of character moments was gay. replacing men at arms with a nigger, making heman get upstaged by a girl. not sending heman to a cool world where he has to survive giant monsters was so lame i skipped the earth part especially the gay comic book store and the part where they added in the stupid fucking wake in the morning meme song scene, then i quit when they got locked inside a giant vault with nigger at arms

>>221978258
go back to r3ddit you fucking sperm cell

>>221978080
>The worst one is he invented the name for the girl who he only knew when she was a bratty 13 year old
Seemed clear he made that up on the spot.

>>221966792
>race-flip 2 out of 3 key heroes
>WHY DID IT FLOP?

>>221978274
>I hate fun and also I'm such a pathetic loser that the only thing I have to be proud of is my skin color

>>221978337
its not fun seeing a nigger play as your favorite character from your childhood. you are a hot turd born an hour ago.

>>221978310
>this is 4CHAN and literally everybody on 4CHAN has to be an edgy racist all the time because it's 4CHAN XD XD XD
I love how you /r/4chan newfags can't help but out yourselves like this.
And no, /r/4chan is not 4chan. It's reddit, and you should go back.

>>221978274
The Earth shit would have been better if it was utilized to better the story. Have him begin to doubt Eternia was even real. Actually show him being bullied and kicked around. Have him actually go on a journey to find the sword. Instead it's just talking and some rando calls him up to tell him the sword is in a comic book store.

It would have been better if they just flashed a card that said '15 Years Later' and cut back to Teela's POV or something. The whole thing felt like a waste of time.

>>221978402
>i am a giga faggot
i know you are anon
now go back to r3dd1t

>>221978402
A lot of words for “He’s a BASED nigger FUCK YOU”

>>221978445
no the earth crap was to put us old fags into the movie like "hey see its real my favorite cartoon is actually real!!"
i dont need that gay shit, it feels like im being made fun of.

>>221978506
It didn't even effectively do that, though. Mostly it just felt like filler. We got more in the flashbacks with Skeletor than the 20 minutes spent there earlier.

>>221978161
She's as White as tacos and burritos, amigo.

>>221978258
He's made his career off of race-flipping White characters. It's tiresome.

>>221978564
whatever still whiter than nigris elbo

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>Masters.of.the.Universe.2026.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.H.264-FLUX
https://gofile.io/d/Ch8ezl

>Masters.of.the.Universe.2026.2160p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.H.265-FLUX
https://gofile.io/d/wQjJSP

>>221978738
If it's not worth paying for then it's not worth stealing.

>>221978457
>lol I said it again XD
>they definitely won't realize what an obvious fucking redditor I am now!!!!!
no, everybody realizes. You really think you're the first /r/4chan newfag to come here and say
>I spend so much time on reddit that the only place I see people who aren't racist is on reddit!
or
>reddit told me that everybody on 4chan is an edgy racist like me!
no. You're not even the first one I've seen today. It's extremely obvious, none of you know how to fit in at all. You think your shitty subreddit is real 4chan and you have no idea how to act when you actually come here.
>>221978474
k

>>221972248
I didn't pick up on any girlbossing. A girl saving He-man before he gets his powers feels really fair, she doesn't even beat the shit out of beastman or anything. After He-man shows up for the first time she is basically a background character who is only around because eventually she'll become his girlfriend more or less
>>221972585
Literally all these things are not true at all. The one closest to being true is Teela not showing off as much skin but even then the camera hangs on her ass all the time

>>221972180
It's not even the gay libshart toxic masculinity. The movie's definition of toxic masculinity is basically not being a weak bitch and not being an alcoholic loser when you still have responsibilities. Whatever those messages are called, I think they are decent messages for men. He-man literally says at the end of the movie in no ambiguous terms that some problems can't be talked through and the only solution is to beat the shit out of people, which is an extremely refreshing message. It's worth at least a watch with an open mind imo, I expected it to be cringe and shit and was pleasantly shocked and I'm an OG chud

just hear me out. i want to fuck that robot

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>>221979063
>The movie's definition of toxic masculinity is basically not being a weak bitch
ironically, feminism would say that telling men not to be weak is "toxic masculinity" in itself.
Of course none of those feminists would ever date a weak man.
>>221978629
>>221978564
she was cute and Idris Elba is a great actor (who also said James Bond should only be played by White actors).

>>221979477
If anything, it doesn't have a message aside from perhaps
>just be yourself
The most clear cut suggestion is Sorceress saying she chose him because he wasn't just a brute, but it's made clear that sometimes, you just have to beat the shit out of a dude.

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>>221966792
It's kino.

wait am i see this right? is this happening to me? jared leto in a movies and hes not sucking shit? whats going on here?

>>221979750
Waste of money, honestly. You can't tell it's him in any respective way.
Also people talking about the message when Orko spells it out:
>sometimes the muscles don't necessarily make the man.

>>221979477
Women don't know what the fuck they want. A man has a better read of a woman's wants than even she herself does. Meanwhile the movie approves of men beating the shit out of evil people. What's really refreshing was Skeletor just saying he was evil because he wanted to be and no other grander reason lmao. Skeletor was probably the best part of the movie

>>221980241
>Skeletor was probably the best part of the movie
Yeah. The movie stretched itself too thin by having too many 'memberberry characters that were really just there for the big battle.

Standard case of trying to create cinematic universe before thinking about creating a solid foundation with a good movie. Same issue universal had with the monsterverse.

>>221979843
that's the most weaselwordy message I've read in my life

>>221966792
Unexpectedly kino flick

>>221980535
Yeah, it's kinda nothing.
>you don't have to be strong...except when you do
Ultimately it's finding the strength within yourself

>>221966792
>In 4K!

who has the data cap to dl all of that.
It will be 720p as usual for me sir, maybe even 1080p if Im feeling courageous.

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>download masters of the universe 2026
>its the asylum version
fucking christ. why not name the movie he-man anyway?

>>221980535
seems even more nonsensical when the sorceress was like yeah every single person that had the power before you was a badass muscleman. so much for the message i guess

>>221980794
based. I hate streaming live sports now, it's all 4K and laggy as shit.

SCREENSHOTS?

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So I'm watching this right now. 45 minutes in. It feels like the movie only just began. Not as in, "time flies so fast", as in "nothing's even happened so far". This has ALL been set-up for. Like, holy shit. wtf is this script?

and yeah, it's pretty fukken gay so far. it opens up with him being a crawly loser. he gets bullied and/or beat up two two girls immediately. then ofc his dad makes fun of him, idris elba delivers some real 6/10 dialogue. tons of just inexplicable scenes, like the sorceress just standing there while skeletor mercs his mom, then using her shield to save just him. he drops the sword, and we transition into him being a retard and telling this whole story to his date.
and the movie just takes every opportunity it can to make him the butt of every joke (not, him being funny or part of a funny moment; HE is the joke). like, imagine the date scene, but instead of her walking off in a huff, she could say something (also banal, but hey that's the level of this movie) "you're lucky you're cute :)". which does the same thing, but without making him as total of a joke. but no, he has to be made into the joke.
then he goes home to his flatmate and the guy is of course crying like a bitch watching a chickflick, because why not take every opportunity you can to make men seem pathetic.
he goes to the gym, and the camera very conspicuously refuses to give us an ass shot of the woman working out, choosing to instead show us the fatrolls on her back. just to hammer home the point that you're watching a movie for fags.
he goes to work, and gets bullied by his (female) boss, before running off to make a completely joke out of himself in just back-to-back-to-back moments of embarrassment, where HE is the butt of the joke in every scene
then of course whatsherface comes to rescue him while he runs around being a comedy character still

that's how far in I am now.
so far, the only good parts have been:
skeletor
the 80s meme music
whatsherface's ass
his pink shirt

>>221974129
I enjoyed the movie. Thought it was fun and comfy kind of like the recent Dungeons and Dragons one. But this was the worst part for me. They should have had a romance. There’s even a shot towards the very end where her dad is walking into the room and it looks like a setup for him to walk into on them kissing but it doesn’t happen.

>>221982594
>wtf is this script?

>Screenplay by:
>Chris Butler
>Aaron Nee
>Adam Nee
>David Callaham

>Story by:
>Aaron Nee
>Adam Nee
>Alex Litvak
>Michael Finch

A fucking mess.

This movie was lame. He-Man is a loser, cringer is a loser, Teela has no sex appeal. Skeletor was kind of cool.

All in all, the movie sucked balls, but I recced it for various nieces and nephews. It really has incredible art and music with a fun basic story with lots of jokes for retards and children. It's the softest PG-13 in history and that was another retarded decision by the studio.
>>221968660
Sadly unlikely. Without the theater experience, you're not left with much. I guess the score is still catchy.

>>221983168
>After reading an article in Penthouse magazine focusing on the lifestyle of Hollywood TV writers, Callaham and a friend moved to Los Angeles with plans to write comedies together.

I mean I don't even... Look you have to write your congressman to start enforcing antitrust laws so Amazon lose some income and cannot spend ludicrous sums on producing this fucking slop.

>>221983168
>Chris Butler
Original writer. Probably less funny and more character-focused
>Aaron Nee
>Adam Nee
Brought in to make it like the comics
>David Callaham
Did the James Gunn/Whedon/Goddard punch up on it. The movie feels like it was good at one point, then the studio threw the kitchen sink at it.

>>221984306
Bump

I loved it.

Such a weird attempt to cash in on IP

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that was fun.

why was this guy not in the movie proper? the robot should have just been him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnDDgYPcs1w

>>221985752
either bait or retard
It's difficult to tell with the influx of summerfags.

>weird attempt
What a stupid take. It's a movie based on a cartoon. That's pretty common.

>>221974129
>>221982779
it makes no sense in the context of the story. the whole '...as a friend!' think works as a bit if she has a REASON to reject the guy, like she's engaged or something (cue her fiancé dying), but it makes no sense here.

also i get Adam's arc, but it would have been kino if he just spoke like cartoon He-Man once he transformed. all heckin' wholesome like Superman or something. i don't get why he's still a buffoon.

>>221986041
It was just a way to break tension. It's pretty obvious they'll be a couple, but you can't hook them up halfway through the movie.
>but it would have been kino if he just spoke like cartoon He-Man once he transformed
right or wrong, the premise of the movie is that the power is in him, he doesn't altar egos or change personality.

>>221986283
Bump

>>221966792
Surpasses Nolan

>Movie starts with Adam explaining to a woman that he's from Eternia and he lost his sword
quinoa

The CGI in this movie looked like it was AI slop

>>221987747
yeah it's bad, but serviceable.

for me, it's two weird edits:
when Adam enters his bedroom and flicks on the lightswitch, and when He-Man drops the spaceship.
maybe it's just this torrent/encode, but the footage skips a little (like it's the same shot but a different take).

boy, i sure hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

>>221980826
same. I got about 5 minutes in and realized something wasn't right.

>>221973752
That fucking ass man, I need it on my face.

>>221988072
It's Masters of the Universe not ASSters of the GOONiverse, anon.

>>221972829
How horrible I hope he’s killed her.

>>221987846
What rip do you have? Same thing I have on
>Masters.Of.The.Universe.2026.RETAIL.DKSUBS.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.GG - YTS.BZ]

>The Real Power of Greyskull was being a good leader and supporting your team
Based

>>221988111
Wrong
https://youtu.be/JsgGcPN0sZk?si=9aLRcq32u6TezFZv

>>221989488
Skeletor uses the power of Gayskull because he's a FAG

The most important question from me is is it fun?

I tried to watch this, but I realized that 90% of the appeal was voice of Skeletor and his endless bantz. This movie had not good voice acting, and very weak writing. Just watch the cartoon from the 80s of this cursed IP.

>>221989640
Yeah

>>221966792
Im sexually attracted to Skeletor and idk why :'c

>>221989735
Stop being a fag, Beast Man

>>221978394
All the world needs is another 50 year old racist!

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>>221989776
NEVER

Pretty middling quality overall, but the movie had its moments. I'm not mad that I watched it and I'm a little surprised it didn't do better considering it's better than a lot of summer slopbustes I've seen. Guessing the IP just doesn't really interest people anymore, which is fine. The boomx uncs that still love He-Man are kind of insufferable.

>>221977850
post

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>a he-man movie that wasn't embarrassed to be a he-man movie, and was goofy instead of helplessly gritty
color me pleasantly surprised

>>221990931
It's incredibly embarrassed to be a He-Man movie, what are tot talking about man. The prattling, constant jokes throughout the movie are all based on lampshading how silly and stupid It all is. That Skeletor laughing scene they put out ahead of the movie is a perfect example, and those jokes are nonstop.

The original He-Man media never winked at the audience. It was surreal and frenetic, and the humor (like Orco's bits) were always sincere, not like the ironic, smug, self aware humor in this movie. Trash ass movie, pure slop.

Q: Compare this in quality to the Kevin Smith He Man.

I'm watching it right now. It's actually pretty good. Reminds me of Flash Gordon.

anyone have a clip of the scene where little zoomer he-man is surrounded by all his AI beefcake companions like its that one meme

>>221979630
>After everything, Skeletor wants to talk things out.
>Adam is done giving him chances and stops pulling his punches.

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1.68 MB PNG

>>221966792
The movie was fucking awesome. Now I regret not going to see it in theaters.

Glad it flopped. That's what they get for the He/Him joke, and you're retarded if you think "woke is dead" and they were making fun of woke.

>>221992349
by jeering something youre still giving it attention/publicity and youre talking about it here

>>221966792
People won't even download it for free lmao

Miss me with self hating raceswapped woke shit

who was race swapped?