>dude I am NOT the funny guy from that movie you all liked!!!>I'm a TRAINED KILLER who starred in a SCORSESE movie with freaking DI CAPRIO!! Why is he like that? Imagine if Ben Stiller had a melty every time he was told that Zoolander was great
male insecurity is so fucking embarrassing
>>222301118>be a fat guy>learn a martial art where you just lie on your back
>>222301118i have no adequate face saved to react to this
yeah but just think about how hilarious it would be if he went on a martial arts murder spree. thats comedy gold right there
Ya dude fucking sick
>>222301118He's insanely insecure. I think this is the 6th incarnation of Jonah and the 6th lifelong passion he's found since the French lady emasculated him on tv.
>>222301118I cant remember the last time he was IN a movie
The only thing he's annihilating is the toilet.
>>222301199Here's one.
>>222301118Is that the fat guy from Superbad?
>>222301118This sounds like something his fat Superbad character would say
>>222301245>you smell nice which is surprisinglmaoarguably just as hard to get over
>>222301186A martial art that can be countered just by grabbing a fence, wearing a t-shirt, or just standing up and refusing to lay down on a guy.
>>222301118How does he keep being the clowniest clown? Anytime I think the world had stopped laughing a this guy, he does something like this. Ornella was too soft with him
>>222301199You gotta post on more boards
>Hahaha... Yeah, no. I gotta go with a serious actor>...okay
>>222301118>what's superbad?>aren't you that comic relief guy from celebrity superstar Ornella Fleury's show?
>>222301118Jiu Jitsu is so boring
>>222301118Do you think he has friends?I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend time with him.
>>222301412forget ornella this was the best
>>222301506Wasn't the Superbad guy friends with Michael Cera?
>>222301532wasn't that mclovin? i don't think the fat guy from superbad had any friends
>>222301308I'm convinced he's just doing one very long extended meta bit.
>>222301229More like 26th. There was a a year when asking "what's Jonah's new hobby this week?" was only half a joke.
He did the meme
oh it's seth rogan the guy who stole a kid's diabetus medicine because he couldn't stop stuffing his face
he's doing to a lot of things to escape the "funny fat guy" persona, but it's just not happeninggo back to being fat and funny again jonah, it's the only way
>>222301118Does anyone have the webm of him doing the most basic bjj leg trip to dominant position drill while being slow and uncoordinated?
>>222301118>>222301229Some people grow up being "the fat guy" or "the dumb guy" or "the nerdy guy" and try to compensate later in life. But it never feels genuine and always ends up as cringe worthy.
>>222301186It's one of the sources of MMA. Go watch UFC #1 if you doubt the effectiveness of BJJ.>>222301306> Grabbing a fenceGonna get choked, or your knee or ankle broken.
>>222301118why does every nerd faggot do bjj?
>>222301118What an insecure fucking pussy.
>>222301834
>>222301827>leg locksThe meta of leg locks was solved before it even got popular. All these newfags trying to do imanari rolls when imanari got his skull caved in by Joachim Hansen trying that gay shit. if you dont land the knee then just dont engage its that easy
>>222301118Just carry a weapon. Why would you roll around the floor with some stinky nigger that's just going to take my advice and stab or shoot you with his free hand while you're trying to set up an arm bar? You could save so much time on training. You dont even have to know how to shoot or properly wield a knife at BJJ ranges.
>>222301308>>222301670He has some kind of absolutely insane insecurities. He was a comedic actor, and thought he was making people laugh, then came to the existential horror that people were laughing AT him. So now he does everything to distance himself as "The fat guy from those films" or "the fat friend of DiCaprio". At this point it's obvious he'll never get over it. He's deep into Incel-tier crippling insecurity, while also having several girlfriends, a wife, and a child. You could literally make him God-King of the world with access to the entire GDP of every single country and it wouldn't fix this.Lena Dunham is the exact same person, only female.
>>222301506I'm sure he at least has some cronies that latch onto him for a crumb of the Hollywood lifestyle.
>>222301970>>222301506Officially, Leo DiCaprio is supposed to be his friend. But I haven't seen him and Leon hang out in literally years.
>person who was on tv does literally anything>i must now obsess over this for monthswhat causes this
>>222301118>Jew is the main character why are they like this?
>>222301276lmao why was the host so mean?
I feel bad for Jonah because you can tell he wants to be respected as an actor and not be a lolcow anymore but he keeps embarrassing himself further by trying to distance himself from that.
>>222301992At least post the real image instead of some crummy edit.
>>222301118Laugh all you want, anons. That will be the last face you see on this earth.
>>222302014Lots of people take up scupling, or fencing, or surfing, but Jonah Hill has to blast his new found passions and self-identity to the world and how it proves he's no longer the fat kid from Super Bad. His crippling insecurities are palpable. >>222302018Founder syndrome for Ashkenazi Jews meant that out of a small population of founders, whatever traits they had pop up in the later population. In this case, the founders just happened to have higher rates of schizophrenia and neuroticism. Jonah is insanely insecure, possibly the most ever. It's a combination of biology and upbringing.
>>222302011>the cleanskin chad vs the tatted tryhard
>>222301905A random street brawler will not be able to defend against BJJ submissions. But that was a cool fight.
>>222302228lol
>>222301834They don't want to get punched in the face.
>>222301907Not allowed in California.
>>222302228>get in my guard brobjj fags have shit takedowns. just use your strength to shake the fag off if he tries to grab your clothes otherwise you should be pummeling them with punches and kicks until they do dumb shit like drop guard or an imanari roll. if you were any kind of athlete in high school how are you going to let a nerd that only started grappling in his 30s take you down?
>>222302258You are welcome to walk into any BJJ gym and start some shit so you can test out your silly theory. Or even make a formal challenge. Not unheard of for martial arts gyms to take on challengers.
Don’t look up the default picture on Wikipedia when googling “Neckbeard”
>>222302310> clearly did not see UFC #1
>>222302350>still living 30 years in the pastAny untrained guy knows that unless you have a dominant position having gaysex on the ground is a waste of time. Just stand up and let the bjj fag try to hug you to the floor again.
>>222302035He does all of this stuff not out of love but of hate, that's why it never comes off as authentic. He doesn't love bjj he hates getting made fun of and that's what drives him. I love muay thai and that's what drives me, nothing else. Also you have to learn when you do martial arts that you can't talk about it to anyone because you come off like a faggot 100% of the time no matter what. Absolutely nobody wants to hear about your martial arts.
>>222301118His BJJ is no match for my akido.
>>222302448>his bb gun is no match for my nuclear bombYeah no shit, aikido is insanely lethal, I wouldn't even be comfortable demonstrating the moves in front of him for fear of causing harm.
>>222302312are you retarded. there are no rules in streetfight moron
Bro is a borderline mindbroken child star who saw the dark underbelly of America and his own race's role in it. His family, his friends, the people who got him his gigs, his entire life, everyone is complicit and it weighs heavily upon him. He seeks this sort of escapism. He is lashing out because he doesn't like being pulled out of his bubble. He just wants to take his money and live a comfy life somewhere away from it all.
>>222301412go to website
>>222302310>bjj fags have shit takedowns>if you were any kind of athlete in high school how are you going to let a nerd that only started grappling in his 30s take you down?I like how you equate beginner BJJ people with BJJ in general. What exactly is your plan when an actual athletic guy that does BJJ just sprints and tackles you to the ground? How exactly are you going to stand up afterwards when he is at least as strong as you are?
>>222303086>bjj nerd sprints straight at you like a retard to unleash his deadly slows ass single leg takedown>Oh no how will I ever avoid one of the most simple takedowns>Surely I couldnt just use my footwork to avoid him and pummel his faceThis shit isnt abu doobi you wont win a streetfight on a bullshit technicality like that faggot Babalou.
>>222302350>Jonah hill is not Royce Gracie >gracie beat Ken shamrock with a gi chokeJonah would be the type of affected fag to wear around a gi tho
>>222302669>>222303322>m-muh streets have no rules fool!Why do you niggers always act as if experience in martial arts precludes you from also doing "street fight" tactics.
>>222303440drop dead during your splits fucking faggot
>>222303440What street rules would add to gay ass bjj tactics besides eye gouging and biting like a bitch, hair pulling, and nut grabbing and fish hooking. Even unironic homosexuals dont fight that dirty.
>>222301153ThisIt's time this fat piece of shit just accepted that he's one of God's jesters. He's here to be fat and make us laugh. No one is going to take him seriously, ever. No one is interested in a "badass" Jonah Hill.
>>222302669I think there are BJJ guys that would agree to fight a cocky untrained rando in an MMA fight.
>>222303533and they would die with their intestines on the ground
>>222301118You think you can threaten my mother!
>>222303482>implying it's simply impossible for a BJJ guy to do stand-upKeep pretending your sucker punch brawls in the hood will somehow trump actual skills. Unless you mean knife fights in a favela then your "street fighting" will always be a joke.
>>222303663>looks down on sucker punches>while trying to ineffectivley hug other men to the ground because he cant fightEat my shoe through your de la riva guard bitch.
>>222301118Why would learn a martial art just to hurt your fans?Jesus, not even Ezra Miller was this fucked up
>>222301834Okay but like being a mass billionaire and taking time out of your day to get a blue belt is pretty nice, I’d be pretty proud of myself. Also Zuck is slightly less embarrassing than Jonah
>>222303741Theres nothing to be proud of since bjj is so completely mcdojoed now. Even back in the day the gracies were scammers who gave Al Bundy a black belt just because he was their longest paying sucker.
>been 10 years since Ornella clowned on him>still no comeback>jonah still on a journey to reinvent himselfholy jesus fuck, they should make a comedy bio about this
>>222303663If you got sucker punched you wouldn’t know what to do retard LMAO get fucking real
>>222303663>knife fights in a favela>hurr durrr but muh rules>no knives>no guns>no kicking below belt>no eye gauging>no breaking knees with baseball bats>no 3 on 1stick to hugging sweaty men in dojos, homosex
4chan anons dissing BJJ is very ironic, as practicing BJJ is a great way to channel aggression, and every anon has an anger problem. Good BJJ gyms also give you some good community. You can take an intro class any day and find out for yourself how easy it is to stand up when someone who actually knows BJJ takes you down.
>>222302674>He just wants to take his money and live a comfy life somewhere away from it all.Which is why he’s doing panels talking about street fighting people who recognize him from his most recognizable role
>>222303854Fuck off, Jonah
I think all this stuff is overrated. Yea, the average guy will lose to trained professional fighters, but ive never once in my life been impressed by an amateur practitioner - not even secondhand. The only time anyone ever tried a choke out on me i jammed my finger into their eye and they instantly let go. Im not a fighter or a tough guy at all which makes me think that actual untrained pitbull-people that barely function in society in the first place and start fights everywhere wouldnt have much more trouble than me with the average dude that takes classes on weekends. Idk why all of these weekend guys insist on constantly implying potental violence on everyone around them (especially their friends ive noticed) at all times. It's childish, annoying, and reeks of insecurity.
>>222301153>>222303515shut up holes>>222302029kimmel is a pos
>>222304416>shut up holesI'm not a woman you absolute retard. What an embarrassing blunder. Kill yourself immediately.
>>222301834Zuck could actually heem 99% of the people clowning on him though
homie starts scooting around on the ground with his legs up in the air like he's having a pap smear yelling "let me annihilate you" as you slowly walk away
>>222304416Jonah Hill detectedWhy are you so fucking fat?
>>222302320oh no>>222302401Yeah good point, if he really loved it he'd stick with it. Where did his surfboard go? What about all his other hobbies?
>>222302035All of it traces back to Ornella. His desperation is palpable because of that one moment and the subsequent reveal that he is deeply traumatized by it is like blood in the water for every normie. He failed to contain his PTSD and now the whole thing has snowballed to the point where he can't stop it anymore. There's literally nothing he can do at this point aside from going postal to save his image just like will smith
>>222304492you're a hole in sp[irit>>222304536he slimmed down years ago
>>222304566He’s was a skaterA sneaker aficionado A weed broA surfer guyA serious actor in DiCaprio’s orbitIt’s not that you can’t be all these things at once, it’s just that Jonah can’t. He’s too affected so he lets his current thing take over his personality.
>>222304611Fuck off Jonah
>>222304611He’s still 90s fat which is still disgusting
>>222304416>>222304611>you guys are women!>kimmel is a big meanie head!>I slimmed down years ago! I mean, Jonah didHoly shit you actually ARE Jonah Hill
>>222304530I just watched a zuck bjj competition match because you talked shit and that fucking reptoid had no takedown game whatsoever and then he pulled guard like a bitch and stalled the match out while the other guy was trying to finish with an ezekiel choke
>>222301118He's not the funny guy, he's the fat guy.
>>222304708How does that change the fact he could pull a Uwe Boll right now just on the simple fact he's not out of shape
>>222304611And you're Jonah in spirit. Are you also fat as fuck? I bet you are, that's why you're taking this thread so personally. Why don't you lose weight, fatty? Get some ozempic up in your fat ass. Fucking fat piece of shit. Stop being fat. You disgust me. Fatass.
>>222304648>>222304675>>222304754not jonah or fat, i just think it's cool to see him standing up for himself
>>222301827>muh UFClollmaoremove rules banning stomping and see how fast your gay shit no longer matters
>>222304820>implying Jonah can stand up
>>222304752Uwe Boll pulled a Uwe Boll because he beat the fuck out of his critics. Zucks competitive natches are him falling to the ground and stalling for time. There is no comparison.
kekking hardgod why do I love fat jokes so much
>>222301153Why would it be more embarrassing than female insecurity, given that women are by far the more appearance-obsessed sex?
if you didnt play sports or do anything physical for the first 20/30/40 years of your life this shit is decent moderate exercise and a glorified stretching routine at best and you will end up in a coma if you even attempt to fight someone bigger or stronger than you
>>222304855>reading comprehensionIf zuckerberg announced hes picking 4 actually random shittalkers to fly out and fight him I'm putting my entire life savings on Zuck and you're a fucking retard if you say otherwise
>martial arts cucks when a nigga pulls out a gun
Wiki's no fun nowadays but hopefully it stays up for at least a little while
>>222304925I will take that money every time as long as its not some gay ass gracie challenge special rules. That fucking nerd is unathletic as fuck and I bet some obese /g/ progammer could just topple over him and lay on him to death.
>>222304868Jonah... dude, just stop.
>>222304925lol lmao go away markyou would get your ass handed to you by anyone under 40 in remotely decent shape
He's gotta just go for the Orthodox Jew pill. Perfect fit. Go argue Torah all day.
An interview with Hill for the Guardian in 2014 took an awkward turn when journalist Hadley Freeman asked the 22 Jump Street actor about an interesting detail regarding his name on his IMDb page.>Time is almost up, so I ask some fact-checking questions. I'd noticed on Hill's imdb.com page that he was born Jonah Hill Feldstein, and his parents and brother still go by the family name. So I ask why and when he dropped his original surname. This is when everything goes weird and his palpable self-control breaks down. For a full 15 seconds Hill is silent aside from his breathing: it's so heavy, I think at first he's having an asthma attack. Eventually, he laughs ruefully to himself.>Is this a difficult question?>"Can we just not?" he whispers.>I didn't realise this would be awkward.>Just … don't, he hisses.
>>222303854Do you really want these people coming to your gym? I think they should stay right where they are.
>>222304977They'll probably lock his page down to only be accessible to mods and their cronies for this.
>>222304977kek
>>222305091>>222305092(already reverted btw)
>>222304381>insist on constantly implying potental violence on everyone around themThis is another reason why you don't talk about it. A lot of people get weird when you tell them about it.
>>222305030ANSWER MY QUESTION YOU FUCKING CUNT
>>222304998>>222305035Take away his name and all the reptilian memes for a second. This is a billionaire on medical grade gear and baby stem cells training 5x a week with a tailored diet in a country where the average male is 5'3 and 210 lbs and you think I'd lose to any of you faggots. Lmao.
>>222305134JONAH NOOOOOOOOO
>In 2023, Hill was accused of being emotionally abusive and a "misogynist narcissist" by ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady, whom he dated in 2021. Brady, a surfing instructor and law student, publicly shared several text exchanges between the pair in which Hill said he could not continue the relationship if she continued surfing with other men, posting pictures of herself in a swimsuit, and spending time with friends of whom he did not approve.[97][98][99]Wtf I didn't know about this!
>>222305159>*bones crack*>*eating noises*
>>222304934But I carry a gun too?
>jew crying victim while threatening youWhoa man, they n e v e r do that do they?
>>222305063Does he hate his family or something? It's not like he can possibly trick anyone into thinking he's not Jewish.
>>222305236Yeah. A dick gun... in your ass.
>>222301118He's a kike. He'd take one punch, get KO'd, sue you, and claim he won the fight.
>>222305267Am I printing how did you see?
>>222305063
>>222304868Female insecurity is like watching a car crash. It's more disgusting than funny or even cringeMale insecurity is like watching a drunk dude bro do some retarded shit and crash his car.Makes you go "serves you right you dumb faggot" and, usually, is a comedy gold.Only black women FAFOing illicit somewhat similar reaction.
>>222305306By the way, same goes about alcoholism, if you think about it.Male drunkard is comedy gold, a source of the jokes, a soul of any party.Female drunkard is just pathetic.
>>222305283I have one too.
>>222304868you just explained why in your own post
>>222301186>be a fat guy>learn a martial art where you just lie on your backJonah TURTLE.He knows TURTLE-FU.The Master of Disguise | Turtle Scene https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M3H2nnxQFLs
Jonah Hill the type of guy who sucks cock to prove he's not gay.
>>222305063The fuck is wrong with this dude
>>222305306>illicitElicit.
>>222301118LMAO he's a fucking white belt. What a kike faggot.
>>222305063"Jonah Hill just has a better ring to it for a stage name" there, that was easy
>>222306035Do you expect jews to keep their histrionic schizoid personality down for ten seconds?
>>222305236Me too. My hands are considered lethal weapons, so I can't legally use them. That's why I carry a gun instead
>>222306470I carry a gun because it's more sporting than using my hands.
>>222304977That’s a save from me anon
>>222306539I use a gun because the police have my fist prints in their database
>>222306470I carry the anti life equation
>>222306053kek
>>222305138You fucking suck, mark.
>>222306648You're in the system? Didn't know I was talking to a shot caller.
>>222304381Anyone can put on karate pajamas and practice some poses and get their skinner box belts but unless they actually fight they'll fold just as easily as (You). The only way to get good at fighting is to fight. (There are also cracked out 70 IQ retards with no sense of self-preservation who can win with pure aggression but those types aren't taking martial arts classes since that would eat in to their meth budget)
>>222305138People in their first street 99% of the time get the shit kicked out of them, no matter how much BJJ they’ve done because they are in an unknown environment. The people who win street fights are typically gutter trash who grew up getting their ass beat by their fathers and went on to respectable state level wrestling careers. No way in hell Zuckerberg or Jonah hill win their first fight in their forties, they have no where near the aggression built in to them and they have way too much to lose to the average guy on the street that would confront them
>>222305174I’ve heard the voicemails lol, I’m sure they’re still out there
>>222301118>Lose weight>Still be spiritually fat
>>222305118It's the way it's talked about. A lot of guys I've met that are into it include 'you' in their hypotheticals. It's rarely>I sparred with this dude that was really good. I learned a new way to apply a choke and it's awesome. It's usually more like>Bro, I learned this new way to apply a choke today. I bet I could take down any of you guys in like three seconds! Haha! Just kidding... maybe!If you imply you could kick the ass of the person you're talking to, it's an implicit challenge/flex/whatever you wanna call it. Every guy can beat up his girlfriend but it would be weird if he brought that fact up three times per conversation.
reddit really hating on this dude rn
i think im going to go to that website where you can bet on anything and put some money down on jonah murdering someone
>>222308302Oh okay I see what you're saying now. I never knew anyone like that personally but I absolutely believe they exist. I guess maybe if you count veterans flexing their service even though they just scrubbed toilets for three years.
>>222308302Joanh has always reeked of insecurity. I guess that's why he keeps downloading new personalities every few months.
>>222308371I thought he was trying to be a French hairdresser or something but it seems he's reverted to martial arts expertSomeone probably (correctly) called him a faggot so he's gone all macho again
>>222301827>I'm going to lie on my back and choke you Um actually I'm just going to stick my hands in your eye sockets and bite your lips off
>>222308424>bite your lips offStill counts as a kiss, faggot.
>>222308405
He's an actor, why not pick a martial art that looks good on screen?
>>222308405Why are you pretending this is his actual clothes and not a costume for a movie? He would fuck you up you know that right? I once saw him hit a guy and when they cut him open for the autopsy his entire insides had been liquefied. His flesh and bones all came leaking out.
The solution is clear: Jonah needs to do a martial arts action movie. Prove it to the world.He's an actor, right? He's a martial artist, right? So let's go.
Jonah Hill seems like the type of guy who passes out at the sight of a drop of blood.
>>222308783Seriously why doesn't he try this? A bunch of comedic actors are trying it these days.
D O W NT OF I G H T
>>222308735Shit I better watch myself
>>222301153I fucking LOVE when you dominate another man mentally you can tell how bankrupt they are when they immediately resort to "LETS FIGHT"
I really hope someone actually fights him
>>222308405>Someone probably (correctly) called him a faggota FAT faggot
>>222303741>have underling wageslaves do all your business work for you>pay someone to train you>literally remove all obstacles and risk of failureYou cheated not only the game, but yourself.You didn't grow.You didn't improve.You took a shortcut and gained nothing.You experienced a hollow victory.Nothing was risked and nothing was gained.It's sad that you don't know the difference.
>>222308888QUADS
>>222308888quads of truth
>>222308888quads of male domination gayness
>>222301118Sounds like he's trying to convince hollywood to hire him as an action star.
>>222308876D O W NT OF A T
>>222308888Yeah then I get the chance to dominate him physically too.
>>222301118No worry, I take care fat comedy man.
>>222308976Not him but I used to box and there wasn't a ton of personal growth there either. It sounds like you have some romantic idea of martial arts, it's really not like that at all.
>>222309383You mean "rape"
>>222304921There isn't really much you can do to defend against someone bigger or stronger. Possibly go for an eye gouge or throat punch, but if you don't land that, it's ogre.I did read of a young woman who is a BJJ purple belt. She woke up one night to find a man had broken into her apartment to rape her, she woke up when he climbed on the bed. She instinctively made a frame with her leg, rapist didn't figure out how to pass guard, all the while she was screaming and making a lot of noise, so rapist gave up and ran away.Turns out the guy had been doing this in the area for some time, with the info she volunteered police were able to arrest him.Real-world self-defense situations are often unglamorous stuff like this.
>>222301118>dude I am NOT the funny guy from that movie you all liked!!!If he actually said this he'd be right too, just not in the way he thought.
>>222301199
>>222301118>Jonah Hill is that you? That fat guy from Superbad?>WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME BITCH? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED FROM BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU SCHOOL AT THE TOP OF MY-...>*points gun and pulls trigger*problem solved
>Yes, Jonah Hill is a Millennial.He was born on December 20, 1983. Demographers define Millennials as people born between 1981 and 1996, placing him near the older end of the generationThat explains everything
>>222301118Jiu-jitsu, Jonah? It's pronounced tiramisu!
>>222301118imagine grappling with the legendary fat-guy-from-superbad feldstein
>>222311073lol he started training because of this 100%
>>222301202great idea for a movie btw
anybody else remember when he dropped his ice coffee?
>>222301235
>>222302294Or almost fucking anywhere for that matter. Just a handful of states + Czech Republic OUT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD.And I promise you 90% of "gun" fags are literally thirdies or Euros who can never even have a gun, they just seethe that much at the idea of another man being able to rape them.
>A man improves his health and physique>buckbrokes entire /tv/ for some reason
>>222310120lol
>>222301834Sometimes you just want to lie down and hug some dudes.
>>222301118I kept hearing that jujitsu is useless in street fights.
>>222301118>>222301153>>222301186>>222301199he can easily fold you within 30 seconds
>>222311073MORETIME
>>222311410>he can easily eat you within 30 secondsfixed
>>222306470I cant use either my hands OR my gun. So I just drive my tank everywhere. See if jew jitsu helps you with that
>>222311110>feldsteinJust... don't. Hissss
>>222311518s-sorry... I d-didn't know this w-would be a difficult question m-mr Feldstein
>>222305440You might be the least funny person alive
>>222311609oh yeah? I guess you're the type of guy to eat his own shit to prove he doesnt drink piss
>>222311609Wanna fight?
>>222311073Lol basedOrnellaposters can't stop winning
>>222301235>>222311073
>>222301118If he lifted worked out seriously and said this shit he would be my role model
>>222310120*puts calloused martial arts finger into the barrel**gun explodes in your hand**teleports behind you**makes you his new girlfriend*You should've stayed in Ornella's comment section, troll.
>>222301118>get so shitter shattered about being forever known as the fat fuck from Superbad that you sign up for martial arts class like a bullied childIf you have to constantly tell people how badass you are you aren't really that tough.
>OH N-
>>222301118He should've just ssid he enjoys training BJJ and being in better shape, then something generic like "let em try haha" if asked about fighting. What he said just shows he is really insecure about who he is/was. Same as his surfing bullshit. And the gay ass fashion he used to (still does maybe?) wear around. Dude just seems annoying most of all to me.
>>222311206>>222311467>>222311804He just can't catch a break
>>222301153So he should get enormous breast implants?
>>222301153No reason to be insecure about a trained killer being able to best you in physical combat. Yeah, even one of them.
>>222301827It is against the rules to kick, stomp, or knee someone who has a knee on the ground in the UFC.
Jonah Hill uses his extremely successful hollywood career to track you down and suddenly you are staring down this in the street. Your life will flash before your eyes. Your family will weep before your broken form and your final thoughts would be "damn, I wish I never made fun of that fat guy from superbad".
>>222301827I just watched Sean Strickland defeat a grabbler by standing up and jabbing him in the face for 5 rounds.
has he been in anything good since superbad?
>>222311576Hey buddy, I know Jew-Jitsu. Don't mess with me, ok? Interview over.
>>222301834because it's the gayest and nerdiest martial art and you don't get punched in the face but you do get staph infection from man sweat >>222304530No he couldn't. But Joe Rogan could.
>>222304925Sounds like your entire life savings is a negative number, dummy
>>222305244it's a bold new erachecjked
>>222308313This actually isn't reddit, just hit your back button a couple times and you'll be back there
>>222305294>>222305063He's a good Irish lad why are you guys making up stuff. Salt of the Earth he is.
>>222301118Any skill he has or hobby he enjoys, I can do better on my first attempt
>>222312051lol do you know that retard "doctor mike" "bodybuilder" on youtube? no the other 'doctor' mike. he's the same kind as jonah and he said he could learn anything in one year and do it better than anyone on the planet. These people are actually insane narc psychos on a genetic level.
BJJ TECHIQUES FOR SELF DEFENSEFirst get on your knees.Open the front of his pants.Moisten your lips. Start slobbering over his penis like the best tasting ice cream cone you've ever experienced. BJ-JBLOWJOB JEW-JITSU
>>222311969>going into crab-on-it's-back defensive modeBJJ is now my favorite fake martial art
>>222312179>pray the guy does not have a pocket knife and does not whip my head into the concrete
>>222311969I saw a clip of a guy going onto his back like thisHis opponent jumps and flips and grabs his arm and snaps it in half in some kind of diving armbarLike completely snapped it in half like a twigBJJ is gay as fuck you get crippled and need back and shoulder surgeries because you wanted to be a tuff guy without being punched.
>>222312179>staring straight at the dick of a guy wearing pokemon boxer shorts and towering over you while you're wearing a hair bun and holding his kneesBlow Job Jutsu
>>222311892lel
>>222311892Did he clean up his mess or litter and waddle away?
>>222301118This is the funniest thread on this board in a long time
>>222312028Reddit hates him because he gave his ex-girl the ick and crossed some hecking boundaries with his misogynist, problematic language.
>>222301235>>222311206Sit Rep?
>>222310120a swift bitch slap would have sufficed but there's no kill like overkill
>>222312266idk did u see the one about muppet babies yesterday? I hurt myself laughing
Ironically he looks like Chris Elliot trying to play off that he's a gay art studio teacher in his prime now.
>>222312305No and now I'm upset I missed it.
>>222308735>Why are you pretending this is his actual clothes and not a costume for a movie?What movie?
>>222311892Am I supposed to be able to read any of this shit?
Chris Elliot in his prime for comparison on the 1995 CABIN BOY movie.
The Four Horsemen
>>222301235I used to think Ornella was a mean unreasonable bitch but she has been completely vindicated. Fuck this fat insecure fag.
>>222312395>Chris Elliot looks the same at 60 as he did at 30He's one of those adrenochrome zombies isn't he?
>>222302011eesh. isnt leo a turbo manlet as well? sad
>>222311828Why hasn't he started lifting yet? I wanna see his powerlifter arcAlso yeah if he actually started beating dudes up that would genuinely redeem him
>>222312462>Jonah Hill has Uwe Boll arc where he beats the shit out of people who criticize himI'd tune in for that. I hope they don't get somebody that studies a real martial art though.
>>222301118Somehow this isn't even as humiliating as the CGI kiss
>>222312446The difference is Leo just channels all his manlet energy into fucking 18 year old gold diggers and dumping them when their frontal lobe finishes developing.
>>222301118To be fair I don't remember him as the fat fuck loser in Superbad. I remember him as the fat fuck who gets raped by a demon with a 14 inch dick in This is the EndBoth movies are shit
>>222311974he's been fat in few other movies, yes
reminder that this is what the most elite group of grapplers in the world does to unwind after a long, sweaty training session>b-but muh s-sambo isn't bjjyeah ok dood fershur
>>222308888Checked and it's true, male ego vs male ego competitions are everywhere. Dudes always want to fight.
>>222301153Jewish men are kinda intersex
>>222312360https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/222286863/#q222286863This post had me fucking dying for like 3 minutes. Sorry if it's not funny I might be retarded.>Muppet Babies wasn't a masterpiece, but it was more clever than what people think. Also, it wasn't as preschool-y as one would think. Sure, it aimed pretty young, but it was more of a 4 to 9 age range, rather than a 2 to 5. It was more of a general kids show rather than a preschool one.>Now the reboot on the other hand, that was for preschoolers.
>>222312805He was extremely fat in that War Dogs movie
>>222301118https://xcancel.com/PresidentToguro/status/2084513781896347715johnahbros...
>>222304381Food $200Data $150Rent $800Meth $3,600Utility $150BJJ Dojo Membership $150someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
>>222312818They also kill homos and grab teenage girls and say "you're my wife now" and it's legal.
>>222312923Is meth really that expensive?
>>222312897>Okay, so why is your 30 year old ass watching it?KEK
>>222312911
>>222313089IGBBMG
>>222312960No. That's why ghetto niggers and white trash can cook it in their car after a quick run to CVS
>>222313089i feel bad for the guy but i cant help but laugh at him
>>222313216I knew a guy in high school who I heard got arrested for doing that. Breaking Bad must have made an impression on him.
>>222313089based
>>222313265>I don't wanna drink, man!
>>222301235>>222311073>"Ornella, the situation you just described sounds a little.... FUNKY!">Jonah turns directly toward the camera>"HIT IT!">Parliament's seminal 1975 groove "We Want the Funk" starts blasting over the studio loudspeakers>Jonah pulls out a bedazzled mic from under his chair, climbs onto the table, and starts grooving>"How many people here want the FUNK?!">Entire audience cheers and starts dancing>Jonah leaps off the table and crashes into the ground, dying instantlyliterally all he has to do. it''s unbeatable
>>222313263I watched a meth lab explode and kill two people kek
>>222313399lol awesome how big was the boom?& checked
>no posts in an hourJonah got to themrip anons
>>222301153>some roastie ruins the fun with culture wars trash in the first postreally fucking hate this society
>>222315480he didn't ruin the threadWE prevailedWE had fun
>>222301412Brad was just breaking Feldstein's balls.
>>222301856>Yes, point RIGHT at his dick.
>>222313464Lol sorry I fell asleep. It wasn't huge, mostly a big fireball.
>>222315870Was it like a neighbor or far off in the distance? Still bretty kino I'd want them dead if they were anywhere near me. Well I'd want them dead either way desu.
>>222306885>typically gutter trash who grew up getting their ass beat by their fathersThose people don't cate enough about this shit to criticize him thoIts just weedy nerds that post shit online.Like (you)
>>222311410>he can easily fold you a wrapper within 30 seconds
>>222301153jewish*
>>222315967What are you seething at now?
>>222301153You a fuckin woman are yas?
>>222316041Just saying the reason Uwe Boll could beat up people is because they were winpy nerds like 4channers like (you) not because he's better than the average "gutter trash".
Do you think Jonah has ever been punched hard in the head? Even one time in his entire life?
>>222315964>15 years ago>night guard on a construction supply lot in rural Midwest >neighbors about 150ft outside west wall are typical trash>about 2am they've got their windows open>I'm watching from the lot as they cook meth with my binoculars>huge fireball>trailer goes up instantly in raging inferno with no survivors (if you know anything about trailers you know fires that big are usually fatal)They must've sold their two kids for Sudafed cause they were miraculously gone that night. My 911 call about the fire is probably still in the police archives somewhere lol
>>222302011Wait isn't Leo a midget? How fucking short is Jonah Hill?
>>222316086>pampered Jew who grew up in one of richest neighborhoods in LAHe probably hadn't seen an actual black person before leaving high school
>>222301153Funny how this is pretty much how insecure every foid is or worse But muh male insecurity is le icky
>>222312436>>222301235Just looked it up and it wasn't nearly bad enough for him. I think she would have been justified in throwing acid on his face as some kind of parody of a muslim.
>>222301118I would KILL Jonah Hill in an INSTANT if I truly wanted to.>>222301153You're right.
>>222316086Only by young vietnamese prostitutes.>>222316072alcohol and anger is a losing combination, friend
>>222316106LOL Amazing. Thanks for the greentext, anon.Their kids are now skinwalkers.
>>222312923Increase the meth budget. You’ll make up for it with stolen copper wires. Plus, you’re massively overspending on food.
>>222316114Leo is supposed to be 5'11" Jonah is probably 4'8" at best.
>>222316263Methwalkers
>>222301827While BJJ has a respectable history, tradition and practitioners, it also has some black belts and serious competitors who have the takedown prowess of a TKD specialist.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1SrXGddNdII sometimes wonder what the elder Gracie, or Yamashita sensei would think about seeing people scooting around like dogs with intestinal parasites at high level competitionshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2XZku7IV9Q. >>222301834Homosexuality. >>222302228>>222303663Don't overestimate Mcdojos or underestimate the practical sparring angry fighting meatheads may have.>>222303792It really is a shame. Mr Hill's dojo should be mortified with embaarrasment.
>>222304381Your instincts have some merit, but only some. If someone practices violence every day, they will be better at it than people who don't. even if disorganized. And there's things that are not easily taught, like continuing after getting hit, fighting while gassed. >Idk why all of these weekend guys insist on constantly implying potental violence on everyone around them (especially their friends ive noticed) at all times. It's childish, annoying, and reeks of insecurity.Because violence and jockeying for superiority is part of male history.
>>222301118This is something his character in superbad could've said and it would have been hilarious. It still is.
>>222304820He's doing the opposite. He's digging a hole in the ground.>>222308302A common problem. Hang around better people and better martial artists..>>222308783He needs to be the villian in one.
>>222309938>Real-world self-defense situations are often unglamorous stuff like this.Most defensive gun use is pulling out the gun, and then everyone runs away with no shots fired.
>>222301118He said this against bateman, who does look like he would fold under minimal pressure...
>>222311990>No he couldn't. But Joe Rogan could.I've always wanted some sort of charity thing. Get kicked by Joe Rogan to raise funds to fight cancer. And then people who don't know his background just get completely flattened.
>>222302310>if you were any kind of athlete in high schoolExcuse me sweaty do you know where you are right now?
>>222311073Holy shit ahahahOrnella broke Jonah IRL
>>222316315>like a human but twisted and impossibly skinny>the way it moves is all wrong>horrible smellthe signs were there all along>>222316570I wonder if his spinning back kick still has pop
>>222311911She doesn't look like this. Make her hot right now mr meme.
Al Bundy and The boondock saints guy are both black belts and would gape him
>>222305138>i'dMaybe spend a few million on behavioural coaches so you don't freak everyone out with your mere presence Mark.
>>222308693based Perfect Weapon enjoyer
>>222312444He did that by getting old early.
>>222316558He also said it against the average man on the street who recognized him from Superbad. The average guy who gonna go>you’re that fat kid from SuperbadIs going to annihilate jonah.
>>222316710Even if it's at 20 percent of peak, it's still enough to fold a hell of a lot of people on one solid hit.
>>222317284but how high would it land on a regular sized person? I imagine he's breaking a lot of knees if he lands
