Seagalbros...
whuh happened
He’s pregnant with Putin’s baby
>>222302792the paparazzi have been WARNED no side profile shots!!
>>222302792Thats my oshi
>>222302818His astounding combat abilities are collecting with no way for Master Seagal to release that massive energy. Soon, this galaxy will tremble unless this godlike man can expend his powerful Chi on a worthy opponent/film
>>222302792Think of how many carrots he had to eat to look like that.
>>222302792How do Russian hookers find it
What is he living off in russia? Do they just keep him around?
>>222302922>What is he living off in russia?Lard
>>222302975I mean whats his income?
>>222303052Lard
>>222302792>SeagalbrosThere are no segalbros, dude
>>222302792>Hard to Fill
he's literally me
>>222302922They wine+dine him, he makes them credible like Depardieu did
>>222302792I can't believe he's walking.
>>222302792absolute unit
>>222302818Handle of vodka a day. Average Russian diet.
>>222303117depardieu went over there to evade taxesseagal thinks he's a legit eastern warrior and diplomat
>>222302792Stop feeding this nigga carrots IMMEDIATELY
>>222303449Didn't he also go to russia because they were going to arrest him for something?
>>222303052his wife is mongolian and runs a dojo for whatever the mongolian martial art is called, she's kinda hot too.
>>222303494no, the me too thing came way after that
>>222303501damn, she cute
>>222302818dey took her
>>222303501>she's kinda hot too.hard to tell with mongolians, they all look the same, massive heads and cheekbones. he's 6'3 or something and her head is bigger than his
>>222302922Putin befriended him and unironically thought having a "major" Hollywood actor living in Russia would be a middle finger to the west not realizing Seagal is a laughingstock over here.
Everyone is always talking about Seagal living in Russia, but no one ever talks about Based cary Tagawa going to Russia and converting to Orthodox Christianity.
>>222303580I don't think they care about how he's percieved in the west, you gotta remember that all those action movies from the 70s up to the 90s only made their way to Russia after the end of the Soviet Union, some taking more than a decade after the fall to be seen there.His fame is actually pretty fresh in Russia, but it's not like everyone likes him, i'm not Russian, but I watched a russian action series called Flint, and it was shown that a police officer was corrupt because he had a bunch of expensive things in his office, and a picture with Steven Seagal.
>>222303678Eastern euros love Seagal movies. Also Modern Talking.
>>222302792This is what /pw/ call, a ''dimes'' look.
>>222302792His new film is just called "UNIT"
>>222303080>Above The Slaw
>>222302792He's a big guy
>>222303531....well thass too dum bad
>>222302792>Seagal becomes early Mad TV Will SassoWe've come full circle
>>222302818snatched too many birthday cakes
ABSOLUTE UNIT
>>222302792Holy fucking kino
>>222304419>Lives in Russia>Mongolian wife>Does croatian moviesTruly a citizen of the World.
Imagine being a mobik fresh from being gangraped in your barracks and knowing soon you will be used as drone fodder in the Ukraine, but before that they line you up in a film studio and trundle Steven Seagal in to teach you some meme aikido for 5 minutes and you have to pretend he's some kind of special ops martial arts expert who has conveyed to you oriental secrets to use against Putin's enemies and give him a round of applause. Then just like that it's over, your first and last glimpse of western prosperity and excess that you saw on your mom's jailbreak smartphone since you were little and will never be apart of.
>Anti-Russia shill coming to fuck up the comfy Seagal threadWell, at least he's not fucking up the Marvel Rival threads on /v/, for some reason, Magik makes them very mad, no idea why, Black Widow is russian too and no one cares.
He'll still kick your ass, OP
Anybody got the webm of his one more recent movie where they had to digitally add him in to run across the screen because he was too fat to do it?
>>222302792His belt is Under Siege. Wherever he stands is On Deadly Ground. Whenever he sits down everything is Out of Reach. When he passes gas there's a real Fire Down Below. Truly it is the Belly of the Beast.
>>222306087>Black Widow is russian too and no one caresshe is best known for working with SHIELD, i.e. American glowies
>>222306187His appetite is Hard to Kill
I'm always confused when people say modern Seagal movies are shit, like it's a surprise.Sure, he's fat and old now, but his movies always sucked, from his whole carre, there's like one or two decent movies, and they are his early ones, you could say fame ruined him, but from what I saw, he was always a very shitty dude.
>>222306274My dad used to make me watch them with him when I was a kid and I hated every second of it. He unironically thought Under Siege was the coolest fucking shit. That was the day I realized my dad's taste in movies was not infallible.
>>222306274I only see people surprised at how bad they are(and how many there are), not that they're bad. He was never a huge actor to my memory but people would still rent something with Seagal on it because that meant it was not your usual VHS no budget fodder. Usually bad actors fade away, not very many can say they have a niche washing money for Russians with like twice a year releases. Seagal's also a good poster child for the geezer teaser cause he was never hugely successful and it's funny to see him still fail rather than somebody perceived as likable be a frail or fat old codger
His hairpieces kill me so much
>>222302792OUTTA MY WAY, OMNIVORE FUCKING SHITS
>>222306274>there's like one or two decent movies,Just one if we're being honest. Under Siege is the only one better than okay.
>>222305951What does this have to do with the subhuman kike ruling Kikeland?
>>222302922he's in charge of their special forces operating in ukraine
>>222306546Needs an edit it where he's pulling out a subway sandwich.
>>222306546why does the guy with the gun just run right up to him like that lmao
>>222306775The closer you shoot someone the harder the bullet hits. He need max force to penetrate the blubber armor.
>>222303501I can't even imagine the racist shit he must've come out with when courting her. Do you think he opened by teller her that he was a shaolin monk of the ching-chang martial arts tradition?
>>222306775Because how else could the good guy win?
>>222306546Reminds me of the old Newgrounds vid where Seagal punches a hole through that guy and walks off with him still attached to his arm for a whole day like he forgot he was there.
>>222306844Probably used the same line he used on his first wife he had in Japan, this was before he was even famous, he abandoned her and their daughter in order to go back to the US to do movies.Surprisingly little talk of how much of a scumbag Seagal is, i guess he just isn't famous enough, but when Brad Pitt doesn't like the adopted kids Jolie forced on him, you never hear the end of it.
he will karate your ass to death
>>222306274Fuck off. The Pentalogy from Above the Law to Undersiege is the greatest run of any actor ever. Just him whooping ass with a ponytail. Anybody seen Richie?
>>222302792The ground trembles with every step.
>>222302792hes been eating beef stroganoff
>>222307337"Has anybody seen Richie" is slang they use in gay bars to say "who wants to poz my neghole" without being arrested by an undercover Al Pacino
>>222302848You mean litter?
>>222306087>Anti-Russia shillIt's called being a rational human being, you mongol rape baby.
fat fucks should unironically be euthanased, they sabotage the healthcare system and are a massive burden on everyone around them
>>222306546this unironically a cool action scene, I don't get the hate about he's new films
>>222308194ITS PAYNE. WHACK EM
>>222308165kek
>>222308194Did they glue the wood onto the stunt man's face before he jumped? Behind the scenes footage would be interesting
>>222302792he's a bigguy
>>222303603he converted to russian intelligence services?
>>222306546it's funny that he's just skulking behind the desk like a faggot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aCMTpJx2cs&t=16s
>>222302792Manfrotto sisters how do we recover?
>>222308044I love this flick
>>222308038He’s walking around, it’s so slow and the over the top shots clash with his turtle movements.
>>222307264Segal is the definition of a washed-up has-been and no one cared about this kinda stuff when he was coming up.
>>222304305>>222304305>>222304305>>222304305
>>222308247> Damn I bet he’s got MREs in there
