>put the same five movies from 1989 on all channels

>>222484428
I just open instagram and watch reels of schizophrenic microcelebrities/small lolcows

>>222484428
>adjust the thermostat so he has to keep getting up to change it

2 best friends, funhaus and game grumps was it for years.

>drop a furry spider from the rafters onto his hand

>Oh fuck, he's just watching Dragon Ball Z again god damn it fuck

>make the commercial break obnoxiously long until he remarks on it

>tell him to compliment my hat

>keep messing with his captcha until he gives up posting something stupid

>Make sure he gets water on his asshole when he flushes. Get a tight reaction shot.

>he's really smitten with the hot youtuber we put in his feed
>perfect, now have her make a video with her black boyfriend

>>222484729
Funny to me that incels and racism go hand in hand here

>get a close up shot of him working on his manifesto and writing names of victims on his ar-15

>>222484428
pawn stars

>make him want to take a shit after he just got done taking a shit

I just watch cooking stuff or mukbang videos on YouTube. Both make the food taste better. It's like wanking to porn but with food

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>>222486270
FUCK

>This is too boring, the audience is losing interest. Send in the gangstalkers.

>have the asian pull out in front of him way too late
>excellent.
>now, full stop at the yield.
>hold it.
>hold it..
>Wait for the slur...

FUCKIN... c-CHINKS!

>Perfection. Great job people.

>>222484729
Kek
>>222484441
Yep

>>222484428
>when he starts masturbating to porn on his phone have his mom call

>>222484428
>now cut to a commercial break on every channel he visits for the next 5 minutes

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>he found an image to use for the thread?
>make it a webp
>yes… excellent, he’s filling out the captcha
>he’s realised. Now quickly, switch camera to his monitor
>he’s converting it in mspaint. Get ready, we need to time this perfectly
>he’s saving it. Not yet…
>okay here he goes. He’s filling out the captcha
>NOW. 404 the thread

>make him go bald before his 25th birthday
>how? i don't care how, drop some acid in his shampoo

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>>222486748

>>222484428
oh hey it's that voice actor from call of duty black ops

>make his ass rashy and moisty and on fire every night despite wiping perfectly
>good, now have him smell his fingers since he just got done sliding his finger down his crack for relief

>make him unable to fall asleep for the entire night and then tranquilize him 5 minutes before his alarm clock goes off

>>222484789
Funny how kikes are always so obvious.

>>222486270
>make him want to take a shit right after getting out of the shower while he’s still wet

>>222484428
>alright, he has just posted the perfect reply in a 100 reply thread
>let the thread die

>>222484428
>make him fart in the shower

>>222484521
lol

>>222487432
I didn't want to say anything, but yeah you really are obviously jewish.

>he’s watching a 5 hour youtube documentary on a lolcow again

>he's posting his fifth George Floyd Hitler edit
>404 the thread now!
>sir the janny called in sick

>>222484489
I still throw on Funhaus when I eat

>he's picked up his takeout dinner
>have him realize halfway home they gave him someone else's order

>>222484428
>he has what he thinks is an oddly specific problem every time he sits down to eat dinner late at night
>start a Christof thread with his problem in OP
My glowniggers can't fool me.

>>222487874
>he's driving home from wasted hours of jury duty
>no one in his group had to leave their chairs even once
>give him $7 compensation
>he's just going to blow it on Taco Bell?
>... mix up his order
>give him... 80% more than what he ordered
>but all in items he considers bland
>look at his face
>zoom in, hold it
>the conflicted feelings...

>>222484428
>he finally found someone he's getting along with?
>have them make a BBC joke

>>222486748
>not just using snipping tool on image in browser
Uncs baka..

>>222484504
>nevermind he likes spiders and hes got a fruit fly infestation atm

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>>222484428

Not me,not ever,I have dedicated playlists to this,a very well trained YouTube algorithm and downloaded series and movies at all times

>>222487505
>make him have sloppy diarrhea, too

>Arrange a pitch meeting with a potential whale
>Perfect, now make him power-brap when he stands up to present

>>222484428
>tell him to test if his 3 day ban expired by typing the word "nigger"

>>222488441
what the FUCK?

If I'm not sure what to watch i put on corridor crew tm because its like watching pop culture slop but my weirdly pretty and soft friend niko tells me superficial details about the cgi production.

>make him finish all his movie snacks 10 minutes after the movie starts

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>make a sequel to the Truman Show

>he's getting tired from moving boxes all day but needs more money? Deploy the VTO

>>222484428
>>222488555
I used to have this problem then I started using the Add to Watch Later button whenever I come across an interesting looking video that catches my eye. My Watch Later is literally filled to the brim with stuff that I'll never catch up on. But it's always there whenever there's nothing else interesting on the main feed.

>dry up all his romantic prospects
>give him nothing for months
>alright send in the obsessive fat girl

>make sure every wipe still has shit on so he keeps on wiping and wiping and it's never clean

>>222490983
>excellent
>now increase coarseness on the paper by a factor of 3

>put the IP counter so we can see its the same 3 people in this thread

>>222487567
That's enough nigger slurper

>make the dialog so quiet he has to stop chewing to listen

>>222484428
Do people really eat while they watch TV? I just eat then watch something so I can focus on the show/movie.

>make youtube update the platform so his ublock origin plug-in doesn't work right before he puts on an iceberg video for bed

>>222484789
Only incels get smitten by women on a screen?
He also said nothing offensive, you triggered nog.

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>He's enjoying the thread?
>Make a post that sparks a /pol/tard argument
>Okay, good. Now to seal the deal, reply to that post pretending to be a butthurt /pol/tard saying-
>Oh, what's that? Someone already did? That's weird.

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>>222484428
>You see that butcher knife he just put back in the drawer?
>Send in a man with rubber gloves to keep Truman’s finger prints on it and murder his wife with it
>And don’t forget to plant Lazy Town pedo porn on all of his devices!

>>222486270
This once happened to me 10 times in a row.
I still don't know what happened.

>>222492657
You didn't smoke enough cigarettes while you were on the shitter the first time.

>>222491451
i just watch would i lie to you clips i've seen 50 times before

>now, make him accidentally tell his co-workers that he's a friendless khhdv virgin

>>222484474
this is self abuse

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>>222484428
>>222484441
OH YOU FUCKER, I KNEW IT WAS YOU

>he's been waiting for someone for a while?
>have him think he's in the clear and fart right before the other person arrives

>>222484729
wait lan lam is blacked?

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>>222488231
you know you dont have to reply to jury summons

>have somebody set up a sudden meeting just before he was about to do something
>make attendance mandatory
>make the meeting pointless

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>>222492568

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>>222484428
>he doesn't save things ahead of time to Watch Later on jewtube for this very situation

>>222484474
ben avery is that you

>>222493421
you always become the thing you hate. ben is taking his emoney on a much needed trip to turkey. except a lot of hat episodes in the upcoming months. maybe he will tell us a story about an islamic dwarf who tried to sell him sweet dates.

>>222493449
he just needs to stop being a dry drunk and relax. he gets so miserable sometimes. especially when he's doing his home show alone and gets caught in some gay rant about something

>>222493490
spiritual drunk, it's genetic.

>>222484428
I just watch reaction content. I love slop.
But I want to stop watching those slop content. Any tips?

>>222493706
No, you should film yourself watching them and shamelessly monetize your own addiction.

>start eating pizza, drinking cider and watching the new Red Letter media release
>pass out 18 minutes into the episode

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>>222484428
>he just got his christmas bonus?
>good
>turn his engine light on
>have his tooth slightly ache
>send a signed by the IRS about a recent recalculation

i always just put on videos of people making the things i'm making. pizza? bon appetite's best pizza recipe? chili? that one old fella that talks funny

>make it look like the truck is following him
>now make that truck pull out
>pull the black truck in

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>get hungry at 7PM
>Jeopardy! isn't on until 7:30PM

>>222490917
>now make her extremely hesitant to schedule any date then make her ghost him

>>222490842
>Truman Show reboot with a new baby
>Truman plans a heist to break into the set and free the new captor

>>222493916
Nah once he got a clue about how shitty the world actually is, he would be begging to go back into the fantasy world.

>>222493936
Nah his life on the outsode would be pretty good. He would probably have a huge following. He could start a cult and wage war against the dome.

>>222484428
>3 Captchas
>suspicious IP, ask for his email
>5 Captchas, but more difficult
>his email box belongs to an invalid domain, have him create a new one
>5 Captchas again
>delay the reception of the email
>he got the mail, cut the wifi network, force him to use his smartphone's 5G
>5 more Captchas
>The wifi network is back, 3 Captchas to post again
>He identified through the wrong device, have him repeat the whole process
>he finally posted, but the thread is off-topic so ban him for 3 days
>prune the thread immediately

>>222493973
Nah dealing with a devoted following of socially inept retards is the worst part of being a celebrity and he has none of the riches and talents that make up for the dark side of celebrity.

>make his youtube algorithm absolute fucking garbage
>make him see a triggering porn post on a blue board or /pol/ and proceed to go on a 5 hour goon sesh
>make him go to go pee and he catches a whiff of his nutsack musk and the pheromones remind him of sex so he has go goon it out

>OK, he's hungry. Trigger the subliminal that make him want a sandwich.
>now we've got 30 seconds to get into that refrigerator and switch out the half full jar of mayo he saw this morning with one that appears to be half full from the outside but actually only has enough for like half of one slice of bread

>>222491423
>>222491552
K jewboy

>Now make him fight Satan

>>222494140
nigger lover

>>222484428
>give him spine cancer then give him an opioid addiction because of the painkillers he had to take

What a strange arc… Very mean spirited. Truman looks like his soul has been raped…

>>222484428
you're a fuckin tard if you wanna engage your mind with something else instead of enjoying your meal. listen to music instead

>>222484441
Channels? You mean youtube channels?
Damn, there are some real uncs here, still watching youtube

>>222494161
No u

>>222490583
>increase volume inside his ears while eating chips so he can’t hear anything
>gooood, now make him try to rewind and get greasy chip oil on his phone
>okay now make him stop, wipe his phone, try to resume the video
>ad break

Classic truman.

>>222494014
Pornsick freak. Get some self control you loser.

>>222492623
>plant

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>>222484428
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt3dBmUZh10

>>222494211
No, anon clearly meant the same half dozen or so tv channels they let Truman watch in his little 1950s style sandbox.

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>>222484428
>Okay, he's in the university library building now, is everything ready?
>Zoom in on him while he looks for McKinnon's book alphabetically, make sure the cameras catch the confusion on his face when he sees it's not there
>follow as he goes to the computer to check
>yup, computer says it's there, there's should five of them but he can't find a single one
>as he leaves, we're going to leave Truman for just a moment to zoom in on the shelves to show that the book he was looking for had been shelved alphabetically according to the title, not the author
>now turn around and show him miss his bus

>wait for him to put his headphones on
>now, have her ask him a question

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>take his foreskin
>no anesthesia

> Make his gf give him a surprise blowjob
> Okay now remind him she had a black ex bf before you
> Okay he’s getting soft, have her laugh a little
> Perfect, zoom in on that shame

>he's engaging with the thread
>have somebody bring up black penises for no reason

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>make him be straight and fall in love with hunter

>>222494674
>make him "straight"
>have him fantasize about getting spit-roasted by Yasmin Lee and Jessy Dubai for the fourth time this week
Haha, classic!

>>222484428
>make him struggle to find friends for the rest of his life

>>222494788
>it's not like i'm an awful chud who deserves to be alone

>>222494788
>>222494809
Truman probably has an unpleasant facial structure, a threatening posture, an ironic tone in his speech or some other unconscious aspect that makes him offputting to be around and interact with, if you asked someone to explain what they don't like about him they wouldn't be able to, they're just instinctually repulsed by him (or so the thinks, since he doesn't know they're shutting him out under the showrunner's orders, obviously)

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>>222494696
that's kinda gay anon

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>>222494846
Tell that to Truman

>>222487669
It's not the same knowing what was going on behind the scenes

>>222487669
It's the one where they're all a bunch of degenerate fags

>delete every post from his IP so everyone sees how much he samefagged

>>222487200
Put some soap on your hand and lather up your asshole. Stick a finger up their too. I've had a spotless ass with no itchiness for years since I started doing this.

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>Truman buys a book from a literary critic
>there's a section in the book that's just a bunch of autistic, TVTropes -tier descriptions of a specific character's appearances in an obscure TV-show nobody's ever heard of called Key West (it's uploaded on YouTube btw)
>there's picture of the character, she's a redhead who was a stripper on the show
>Truman falls in love just like Dr. Steven Moore did
This is what they got an episode out of? This? Did the people who made The Truman Show also work on Key West or something?

>>222494674
>>222494696
>>222494846
>>222494869
There's nothing gay about wanting to fuck trannies but being a bottom chaser is super gay
>t.ranny

>>222484606
what the fuck are you doing sitting when flushing the shitter?

>>222495553
What is even the point of wanting sex with a dick girl if it's not to get fucked? Like, just fuck a regular woman at that point

>>222495597
I'm not interested in gross, hairy, stinky man hole. Maybe if I could forcefem you first I'd be willing to top...

>>222495649
Not what I asked you malignant narcissist.

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These threads are better than they have any right to be

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>>222495670
Get some new material, lmao

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>>222495553

>>222484428
If someone says they "can't find anything to watch" or are "bored" then I immediately know they're a braindead NPC.

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>>222495703

>>222495703
Q: what's the point of topping a shemale instead of just fucking a normal woman
A: teehee I want to be a bottom
That's not an answer to my question. You ignored my question and instead inserted your own desire to be fucked. This is not the query to which I want an answer. You're too full of yourself to even understand what is being asked.

>>222495790
NTA but it's fun to dominate another man and turn him into your sissy bitch. If you're the one getting fucked up the ass then you're the sissy bitch instead, which is gay. Making a man shave, put on women's clothes and lock up his dicklet to become your cocksleeve is based.

>>222495880
See now here's an answer that's easy to understand.
I already forgot how this was relevant to Truman.

>>222486844
>he's finally getting his life on track and gaining confidence
>he's approaching women and should have a gf in no time
>make sure his hair sheds at an insane rate

>>222487200
>>222495383
use a bidet you uncivilized faggots
And I say this as an Americhad

>>222495692
Truman Show threads are almost always hilarious

>>222484428
>he's home alone "sick" from school?
>make sure there is nothing but old people and toddler shows on TV
>run the sequence that strips all the good snacks from the house
>wait, what about the family PC in the living room?
>we've already had the older sibling make sure it's password locked with no sneaky guest account so he can't get in
zooms don't know how lucky they are

>>222496013
>tfw I would play runescape all day and the servers were completely empty
>i could mine all day and not deal with noobs draining the rocks
>go all the back to the wildy

>>222495946
>wow, everything still seems to be going very well for him
>kill one of his parents

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>Truman is feeling lonely, but he can't keep bugging Marlon because Marlon has his own life
>Truman goes on an online imageboard instead
>finds a thread where someone is seemingly telling stories that, while anonymous, accuratly correspond to activities he has engaged in with Marlon
>the person writing them describes the other person as a "loser creep" who he only spends time with out of pity, feeling it's his Christian duty to prevent them from becoming a total shut-in loner who might kill himself or go postal
>says it's getting harder and harder to do because the other guy just. Doesn't. Reach. Out.
>meaning maintaining the relationship is completely on his shoulders
>Truman closes the thread and class Marlon
>Marlon shows up not ten minutes later with a sixpack of brewskis
>they drink and share laughs as usual, but Truman keeps catching glimpses of Marlon's eyes while he laughs
>there's no joy in those eyes
>no emotion at all
>the grin is put on like a mask
>when Marlon goes home, Truman collapses in the bathroom and cries for twenty minutes
>he doesn't see Marlon the next day
>he
>just
>doesn't
>reach
>out

>he's a healthy well adjusted kid? give him unfettered access to internet
>make him waste hours a day getting dopamine hits from it
>funnel him into communities that post porn, gore, and other shock imagery - stat

>>222496283
Individual responsibility, man. You choose how you spend your time. You choose what sites you visit.

>hes trying to fix his fucked sleep schedule sir
>Make him wake up at 2am, make it impossible to go back to sleep

>>222496699
>make him think about all the ways he's ruining his life

>>222496718
I have to keep those demons away...

>>222496718
Over the years I've developed a pavlovian response of wanting to kill myself whenever I reach for the cupboard full of instant noodles late at night. Nothing massive, just that brief pang of ideation

>>222496597
11 year olds can't make choices like that.

>>222487538
>>222487505
>>222487392
>>222487200
>make him
>make him
>make him
Fucking retards. The whole point is to make the scene and the setting, and then watch his reaction.

>>222496862
>Make him have a strop about imageboard meme semantics

>He's having a good day sir.
>He seems content.
>Happy, even.
>Remind him about her.

>>222496862
you underestimate just how many retarded thirdies 4chan is infested with nowadays. It's one of the easiest memes to be creative with but they still don't have the brain power to do it accurately.

>>222494788
>he sent a message to someone
>now make them open it and never reply

>make him forget a word when typing that post
>now everyone will ignore what he said and call him an esl

>remix the audio of all movies so that the dialogue is whisper quiet and the music/action scenes are earbustingly loud

>>222497018
Thanks YIFY!

>>222497018
that's just The Godfather

>>222497018
Bravo Nolan

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>it's a "Truman thinks his mother might be suffering from dementia because every time he visits her, she talks about the same events that occured during the late 90s and early 2000s and always asks him if he remembers" episode

>>222484521
this one hit a little too close to home

>>222488511
i always read atm as ass to mouth which makes these posts very grim the first time i read them

>>222495596
>get half way through a shit
>stand up to flush
>sit back down
thats retarded, dont be silly.

>>222484428
>he's 4 hours into nofap
>Blue Is The Warmest Color sex scene video essay on youtube.com

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αααααα222,496,082
≥≥≥222496082
(XXMMCCXLIX)/VMLXXXII<<<
Is there really NO OTHER story that Robeatnik has to tell? Could it be something besides his overbearing Germananity, is that really the only Super Emerald he has in his lives? Why do they think people care about Sonic fanciful fictions blasting through with burger speed? WELCOME TO THE NEW NORMAL. WHEN KARP EAT THE BRAUWERST.
I sense another emerald labyrinth professor! These reblogs by upset hindu people prove it exists!<
<Silencio gaki aboot hono poder del nakama!
>>>Asian nombrews para los planetas
>>222496082
>>222484428

>>222496862
>make him be a humorless fuck

>he’s enjoying the Truman threads?
>good, now have some twitter jeet steal one of the less funny posts
>now wait a few days and send in the newfags claiming it’s a twitter meme

>>222494846
Hunter needs to put the dogs away. Nothing gives a tranny away faster than big feet.

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>How Kindergarten Cop BREAKS You
Good enough.

>>222484428
> introduce AI and have him laid off from his job

>>222501708
>import six trillion no skill foreigners and then automate everything

>>222487669
being a weirdo even on here, thanks

>>222484428
>He is taking an extra 10 minutes to enjoy the morning today
>Quick move his wallet and keys so he will be extra late

>>222494006
Well, both Truman seeing that the real world is also a prison, and realizing what real people are like, both sound like near movie ideas to me.

>>222494809
Define "awful chud" in a way that makes one inevitably alone. You cant because chuds are always in good company. They could fly across the world and they would still be in the company of chuds. Chudism is literally just human nature, so its amazing that you think chuds feel isolated because of their beliefs and not because of an astroturfed culture war against tradition and humanity waged by childless nihilists whose bloodlines are going extinct as we speak and who want to take as many people with them as possible.

>>222484428
>he’s been making pro Trump threads on 4chan?
>perfect hire a girl to play a 10 year old and have her move in next door
>make sure the window to her room is visible from his bathroom
>give her a private school uniform with a skirt and make sure she walks by right as he walks out for work
>now we just wait and let nature take its course

>>222484428
Rookie move. Always have your kino planned and ready BEFORE you get your food ready

>>222484489
This but only Oneyplays

>>222503693
Your post is a perfect definition ironically enough, I can guarantee you have no irl friends and you’re definitely an incel too.

>>222484428
I have the opposite problem. There too much content i want to watch but have to pick and choose.

>He's going to the liquor store to buy cigarettes. Make a beautiful nineteen-year-old white scene girl and a seventy-five-year-old black man go buy alcohol together for their impending night of fucking.

>>222503932
I have this problem unless I'm about to eat something. Then there's suddenly nothing of interest.

>Make his phone suddenly have horrible reception so that the person on the other end can only hear one third of what he's saying when he breaks his foot so that it's impossible for him to communicate with the outside world and get seen by a podiatrist so that his foot heals incorrectly and he's deformed for the rest of his life, even though he's already deformed from having had this happen before.
>This will be more enjoyable however, because last time it was only with one of his fingers when now he'll never be able to walk comfortably again.

>>222484428
>make him a ever gloomy and sad fuck despite the fact that so many things are going just fine for him

>>222484428
>he's almost asleep, make the cat puke under the bed

>>222484428
> set his alarm clock to ring 30 seconds later
> excellent, now he'll think he's late all day long

>>222484428
> It's time to introduce his nemesis, LIEMAN.
> have him cuck Truman in the first episode.
> use that bitch who went off the script.
> unzips
> perfect

>sir, he's being a hypocandriac again and googling his minor symptoms
>good, on the search results show the most grotesque and rare incurable diseases that cause immense suffering and a slow painful death

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>give him a bunch of DMT
>have a cast of reappearing side characters in shitty costumes visit as the entities he met during the trips
>continue spamming DMT
>gradually modify the set so it eventually resembles a fucked up checkerboard jesterworld
what would u bros do at that point with full creativity to invent weird universes for him to thrive in?

>>222484474
exactly what they want

>>222484428
HOLY FUCK, are you me?!!!

>>222505587
you can shut up now

>>222488441
too real tbqh and always gross irl

>>222494184
are you ok anon?

>>222495553
>theres nothing gay about wanting to fuck a guy, a gay guy specifically

>>222504150
>Make every detail of his life, no matter how big or small, so completely bad that it doesn't even seem real, and then have someone imply that everything is going fine for him

>>222484428
>Populate his entire streaming catalog with interesting-looking shows with intriguing premises that are from foreign countries and sound like they were dubbed by drunk middle-schoolers.

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>wake the mom up at 3am, tell her to start complaining about him not having a job

>>222507704
>make sure NSFW content appears and freezes on his screen when she barges into his room

>he hasn't uncrossed his legs for 6 hours, trigger his diarrhea so he won't get a blood clot

>Make him have an inner ear itch

>>222504865
>now make the jester troll him
>give the jester a sledgehammer to smash his psychological walls

>Finally, he's grocery shopping
>okay, have everyone walk directly into his path at every turn
>heh, he's having to stop and go so much. this should really slow him down
>ok now let's turn up the pressure. have everyone block every aisle he goes into with carts
>ugh he's too good, bobbing and weaving past everyone. he's hardly bothered at all!
>we're gonna have to bring in the stinky people to stand around all the items he needs
>what? He hardly seems phased! he's just holding his breath around them
>People, he's almost at the last item! We gotta do something drastic here
>quick, have a whole group of people pretend to run into each other and have a giant reunion right around the last item
>now what are you gonna do, Truman? there's no way you'll break up this small crowd to get what you need...
>w-what?? he simply grabbed the name brand version despite the $2 markup? Ugh... Truman wins again... that's a wrap folks

>>222508356
Kek

>when did he get that new shirt?
>Have a single bird 2000 feet in the air shit directly on it
>Oh a little splashed up onto his chin
>Good

>>222497011
turn it around on people. even if the post is completely sound english, claim they are esl and make a "correction". derail the thread. when it works, it works fantasticaly

>>222503469
>>222494006
>>222493973
bruh the movie ends with the "fans" just changing the channel literally 5 seconds later and moving on.

>>222494266
i tried, im already a church minister, so what am i supposed to do

>Replace all the furniture in his house with slightly larger versions to gaslight him into thinking he's shrinking

>>222509458
Absolutely twitpilled

>>222508564
>wait for it... he's almost through the car wash...
>ok... deploy the shitting birds NOW

>>222484428
>He's going to try and masturbate?
>..Make him have to take a leak.

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48 KB JPG

>Rape him.

File: cim44308gt871.png (627 KB, 1280x720)

627 KB PNG

>he's mowing the lawn?
>have the 12 year old neighbor go outside wearing only her gymnastics leotard and have her stretch and bounce around the whole time he's out there

>>222511290
God i love gymnastics and leotards and

>have the MILF at the grocery store bend over to pick something up, revealing her pink panties under her skirt
>have her kid loudly ask why that man is staring at her

>hes showing cat pictures to his mother? slip in one of those huge horse futa cock double anal pictures he was looking at on e621 into the middle like he forgot to move it to the secure folder

>he helped his neighbor get their car out of the snow?
>shred his penis

>have the cute girl from his class wave in his direction during recess so Anon waves back
>then have her friends walk in front of him and make a comment about how dumb Anon is

>>222512088
Lol