what the fuck even is a "middle-blade lightsaber" anyway?
an good question for another time
>>222613918Some nonsense they made up so they made the children's csrtoon more interesring.
>>222613918>accidentally drop your saber>cut your dick off
star wars is so ass lmao
>make new innovation>new innovation is way worse
>>222614091FPBP, all nu wars is faggot shit/thread
>>222613918What is it with Filoni's insistence that there are these completely nonsensical lightsaber variations as if he's trying to say the lightsaber isn't cool or marketable enough by itself anymore?It reeks of fanfiction.
it was dead after lucas flopped on phantom menace
Isn't that just a boe staff
>>222615126He's desperately trying to have his own Darth Maul moment that skyrockets whatever shitty variant idea he has into being the next big thing for lightsabers.
>>222614509innovation is by definition bettering a previous design.invention would be the correct word
>>222613918I'm sure the 5 people who still watch this slop will be thrilled.
>>222615166>phantom menace>flopped>$924 million worldwide during its initial theatrical run, becoming the highest-grossing film of 1999, the second-highest-grossing film of all-time
I invented the lighstaber noose so these people can hang themselves
>>222613918Hey guys check out my new lightsaber design. It doesn't actually have a hilt at all, you just use the force to fling it around, and only a true enlightened Jedi like Ahsoka can conjure it.
nooooteal was my favorite color to use when playing with lightsaber replica
>>222615251Adjusted for inflation that’s a quarter of star wars.
>>222613918>people are still trying to apply logic to Star Wars after all these yearseverything about SW can be explained with:>it looks cool and it sells toysthere is no in-universe logic to be found, and there never was.
>>222615424Except now it looks stupid and doesn't sell anything.
How bad will the /tv/ chud rage be from people who didn't even watch this show when these two inevitably kiss? Meanwhile all the actual watchers of the show will leap into the air and shout "kino" at their screens.
>>222615424This isn't cool to anyone, not even to the harpy foids that designed it.
>>222615498Nobody watched this shit. Even the youtubers that watch everything for outrage bait barely mentioned it.
>>222615498lesbian scenes are fine as long as they're hot. That's the part modern hollywood keeps fucking up.
>>222615498They should be straight or not do romance at all.Lesbians are only slightly less gross than gay men.
>>222615610i watched it. was very girl power heavy but far from the worst nu-wars series.i guess if you didn't watch clone wars and don't care about ahsoka i can see not wanting to watch it though.
>>222615498>when these two inevitably kiss?Funniest shit about Disney shills is that they have desperately bait people with sex appeal while their shows and movies are completely sterile and sexless.>CHECK OUT THIS FREEZE FRAME OF 0.2 SECONDS OF AN ASS ON A COMPLETELY CLOTHED ACTRESS HEAD TO TOE IN FIFTEEN LAYERS!!!!!
>>222615287Kid, you're hired, welcome to Disney™
>>222615498They’ll be tribbing hard and doing painplay with their lightsabers and I’ll cum while I watch it
Why is it so hard to keep lightsabers simple?>saber>doublesaber>shoto saber>saber pike>saber tonfasThese all make sense and are cool, for the most part. Doesn't need to go any further than this.>saber whip>saber blaster>le darksaber>moodring sabers>crossguard sabers>spinny doublesaber that doubles as a helicopter>saber umbrella>saber nunchucks>single sabers with 2 beams>middle blade saberCancer for retards. I know some of these were before Disney, but they're still ass and look stupid as fuck.
>>222613918Seems like if they wanted new lightsaber weapons they could just look at actual weapons, no? It's fantasy, fuck it just made a lightnaginata and call it a lightspear. Who the fuck will say otherwise? A lightclaymore might also be on the table, lightchucks maybe. Fuck it, go wild.
>>222613918>I know what will save Star Wars...>Let's give one of the bad guys a middle. blade. lightsaber. Like darth maul's but with an extra lightsaber part in the middle>Dave, isn't that just->AND GET THIS. WE MAKE IT *TEAL*. FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVER. How hyped is everyone going to be for season 2 you guys? Alright good sesh let's hit taco bell
>>222613918Is that Zach Braff? If not, it probably should be.
>>222615287>*hands you the keys to the Skywalker ranch without saying anything, just nodding in agreement*
>>222615800i went to disney world last month for the 4th and they were selling sabers left and right. women who would never even watch the movies were buying that shit. disney really hit gold being able to sell a product from a franchise they had no part in building up.
>>222615800Yo forgot Get to da saba choppa!
>>222615800No saber axe?
>>222613918reminder all stupid things are OK in sci-fi because it has no rules. This is why it's the lesser of all genres
>>222616125>Genre wherein literally anything is possible >We get the same crap punctuated by retarded bullshit
Some anon pointed out that Yidsney stole this design from some 90's contest for kids where they designed something they'd include in Star Wars
>>222616935Filoni doesn't seem to understand that some things are meant to be left in concept art or things like this that's just for fun and not serious. You can tell he's completely out of ideas if he's digging this hard for content.
>>222615800Alright. Here we go.>saberYes the standard design makes sense.>doublesaberThis is a little bit worse than the standard design one on one. Less range because you can’t fully extend without the back blade coming towards you. Better against multiple opponents though. >shoto saberMakes sense as an offhand or if you’re short. It would be silly as a standard weapon if you could handle a full sized one though. >saber pikeThe main way a longer handled saber makes sense is a double bladed lightsaber with one end turned off, like Darth Maul in the desert fight. It’s an alternate mode for one on one fighting. A bit more leverage, but your hilt isn’t exposed. It doesn’t matter that beskar exists, jedi and sith don’t use it for their hilts, so a longer spear design is silly, and prohibitively expensive. >saber tonfasNo this is retarded. When you block with a tonfa you feel it press against your own arm. This is fine because the wood won’t burn and cut you. If you use them in forward grip to cut, that’s just twin shotos,(not a terrible idea) but worse. >saber whipYou can’t block and there’s a massive chance the “blade” flops around injuring you, your allies and damaging everything else but the enemy. Way stupider than the tonfas.>saber blasterA strict upgrade on the standard saber, actually. Think about it rationally.>le darksaberCompletely functional, but sadly a total meme in that deviant art oc not steal.>moodring saber.No functional issue. Maybe ruins your stoic image if everyone can tell how you’re feeling. >crossguard sabersStraight upgrade over standard, except for slight drop in easy of carry. >spinny doublesaber that doubles as a helicopterAlmost as stupid as the lightwhip. At least you don’t have to spin it. >saber umbrellaStupider than the helicopter
>>222613918treating the lightsabers like donut steel keyblades is one of disney's biggest mistakes, and they will never learn from it because they believe that to be the identity of star wars.
>>222614170Disney SW is trash, yes. It used to be kino back then.
>>222615498Disney wouldn't do that after what happened with Acolyte.
Maybe there's a reason it's the first time
>>222617539>saber nunchucksHere we go. This is it. Peak stupid. You catch a nunchuck under your arms or with your hand. Think about this for two seconds. Also, you can’t block, and you can only attack slightly past punching range. >single sabers with 2 beamsYou mean like Reys folding saber? Yes. Very stupid. An unnecessary break point to make a worse “one bladed” weapon. The grip is too wide to use easily, and the two blades don’t do any damage. If you mean a single sabre sized hilt with double blades? That’s also unusable. They initially made one for Ray Park, and he had them double the hilt length, because he couldn’t do his bo staff moves with such a short grip.>middle blade saberAlmost as dumb as the copter sabre. I can’t even fathom how it looks turned off but let’s ignore that. Slide your hands too far and you’ve lost the fight. You try blocking with that centre blade and you miss by a bit and you’re getting your hand cut. And you’re in trouble in the bind if your own weapon is pushed towards you. It claws back points for two minor improvements to the original design Maul had. It can’t be cut in half, and it adds one attack option. The way Maul killed Qui-Gonn. With this, he wouldn’t have needed to follow up with the stab. >>222616023>sabre axePerfectly useable, but weak. It’s less blade on a longer hilt, so easier for the enemy to destroy, and harder to block with. Also more likely to miss compared to a longer blade. If you hit with the hilt it might sting, but if you just had a normal sabre, you would have cut the enemy.Finally, metal axes do more damage because they’re heavy. But that isn’t relevant with a superheated blade that can burn through almost anything.
>>222615498Stinky Sith Pussy
>>222613918>Block this.
Why does the blue face guy sit in such a zesty way?
>>222615864Wow, that is fucking awful…
>>222614170This is Filoni Disney Wars. Its gotten so much worse than you could possibly imagine.
>>222613918Sometimes I wonder if I hate new films cos I'm old. But I think it's cos all new films these days are essentially stupid kids who took a genius movie idea from the past and said, "duuhhh, what if we added x to it? Woah! That's so cool!"This is nothing more than the new generation co-opting everything geniuses did before them and changing it and sayings it's a new thing because they can't make anything new themselves.
>>222615498Watching these two go full on Blue is the Warmest Color is probably the only thing that would make me interested in SW.
Here is how you save SW:1.10 years no content whatsoever2. Then remake the original trilogy, but make it more pro and more aware of itself, fix known mistakes, all new actors mostly unknown, full reboot, just retell the story and disregard the convoluted mess that the current universe shows. Tell Luke against his father and The Emperor, make it meaningful and poignant.>oh no but 10 years with no content is a multibillion dollar lossSure, but it's a 20 year plan for a multibillion dollar gain. You can either make content that will slowly fade away year after year, or create a deliberate silence and profit later on with the revival when everyone will already be missing it and asking for it.
>>222618333no
>>222618333Wrong. You save it by having someone else buy Lucasfilm and retconning all Disneywars slop and then making a Shadows of the Empire film with 90% white people.
>>222615864>>222617894>If only you knew how bad things really were
>>222613918>>222616935How does it work? like its a 2 double sided lightsaber or 1 double sided and 1 normal with a connection port
>>222615287>floating lightsabers That’s Kreia’s shtick
Lucas is an idiot, the end
>>222615864Watch the fights at 130% speed.
>>222618401>>222618763
>>222618432i am assuming it's like a staff that you cant grasp in the middle...?
>>222618820so it's always on? It would be a giant pain in the ass if thats the case
>>222618820And how youre supposed to fight with retarded weapon like that?
>>222613918first for deez
>>222618940>>222618900actually looking at op's pic it looks more like this but if thats the case it just seems to be like a modified version of the double bladed lightsaber
>>222613918Not my Ahsoka.
>>222618940Very carefully.
>>222617791In the trailer Sabine's hair is off-white purple colored because her hair dye isn't readily available on the planet they're stuck on. Guess what else isn't readily available? Soap... that Sith pussy is going to be absolutely reeking!
>>222613918>10 bad movies in a rowHow is this motherfucker still going?
>>222613918Imagine caring about that subversive jewish slop.
>>222618820
>>222615766Two girls kissing is hot, actual lesbians are gross, that's the difference
>>222619156jews love subversing propaganda for the goy, how old are you?
>>222618763It's harder to catch the Ahsoka sideboob
>>222619211Wtf is this retarded shit?Is that meant to be anakin?
>>222619416probably yet another one of the thousands of jedi that survived order 66
>>222619416It is Anakin. The first season had a bunch of flashbacks. So it seems will the second
>>222613918>First middle blade lightsaberI hope everyone involved in this dies raped
>>222619466But it's showing asohka as an adult. So how is anakin there?
I mourn the fact that my ideas about light sabers will never see the light of day anywhere but here. I’m an oldfag and saw the OT in theaters on its first run. Because of that, I had basically two decades to formulate ideas. Here’s what I came up with:Light sabers are plasma contained within a powerful magnetic field. Because of this, they should be incredibly difficult to wield. Magnetic fields are pretty much everywhere, so theoretically swinging one should be a little bit like trying to swing a sword underwater, and reorienting one should feel a bit like trying to turn a gyroscope. To everyone but a Force sensitive. I looked on Luke igniting Anakin’s saber for the first time as sort of a “sword in the stone” moment, proving that Luke was not only strong with the Force, but also able to unconsciously use it already. The saber goes where he swings it because he’s unconsciously guiding it with the Force. I thought that Han being able to pick up Luke’s saber and use it to slice open that Tauntaun was a subtle indication that Han was also a Force sensitive, giving the character a deeper irony - a man that’s a phenomenal pilot and just naturally “lucky” blinded by his own cynicism to the nature of what makes him who he is. In my conception, Jedi use light sabers not simply because they’re more “elegant,” but also because they’re weapons that few could ever effectively turn against them.
>>222613918OH FUCK TEAL!?!?!
>>222619501She's not an adult there you fucking retard, her adult version is played by Rosario Dawson, that is clearly Ariana Greenblatt who plays young Ahsoka, moron
>>222619501She's not an adult, that's her as a teenager. She obviously grew while she was his apprentice
>first teal lightsaberWhat's next? Crimson lightsabers?
>>222617760>can burn through almost anything.Not in nearly thirty years. >>222615864
>>222619607What about brown sabers?
>>222618401what the fuck
>>222619566Show bad quality video.Make everything dark.Retarded 1 second shot scenes.Anon you really think I give a fuck
>>222617539Cross guard is getting off way too easy. Definitely limits the range of motion. A cross guard on a regular sword doesn't cut off your hands it... guards. Silly but always appreciated the nervous attempt at lampshading...>"inb4 crossguard le gay">"dey exhaust ports cuz its so angry and badass"Kek dumb
>>222613918It's not even the first time they've done that centre blade retardation, it was in a book or something
>>222618763kek it actually does make it look more normal
>>222615424But it doesn't look cool and it won't sell toysThe crossguard saber looked cool and still didn't selltoys
>>222619655Wtf do you not know how to>?
>>222619607Pride flag lightsabers, you know it's inevitable
>>222613918The middle finger to the audience.
>>222618401were they unaware they could do more than 1 take?
>>222613918You don't know Gulp Shitto's signature weapon?
>>222619766Didn't we already get that with the tranny black clone trooper?
>>222619766>"I AM SHEEV OF MANY COLOURS!"
>>222619530Yeah I would assume something like that too
>>222619798I don't think this is the king of grooming that Sheev did to Anakin
>>222613918Bro, it’s literally show about space wizards who use flashlights as weapons.
>>222619607lesbian coded lightsaber colors are next.Shin will keep her orange saber, and Sabine will get a violet one next season.
>>222619607they did a period lightsaber in that acolyte show
>>222613918During the trailer when they're fighting he has it "closed" and holds it directly in the middle. Its probably just a flex move like cocking a gun. Or he opens and closes it quickly to prevent it getting cut in half like Mauls did. Either way its just a dumb gimmick
>>222619878>let the asian woman fly the ship>immediately crash land into another galaxy and become strandedUhhhh bros?
>>222619788Kekked and chekked.
>>222614509un-fackin-beleyvable
>>222619211>Filoni slop
>>222619530Agreed, and it would be why a Jedi gets knocked down their lightsaber shuts off. Its why Finn would have been able to wield a lightsaber. I was hoping that Finn and Rey were going to be like the new "twins" like Luke and Leia, like a long lost brother and sister but in the sense of being orphans.Also for me it was that green sabers are reserved for Jedi Masters and blue sabers are for Padawans and Knights. But no, official lore is that le magic crystal choose you, and if you are are evil with your magic crystal is corrupted to le red. What a crock of shit. I always liked the idea that the red sabers are that way because they are modified Jedi weapons to combat Jedi sabers betters.
>>222619909>Scary dog privilegeWe call that haggard bitch privilege
Star wars is unredeemable at this point. They should just make smut and cash out on the IP.I need a cutie nymph padawan to train in the ways of pleasuring my lightsaber penis.
>>222613918is there a fundamental difference between the light beam of a lightsaber and the light beam from the blasters in SW?they look exactly the same and seem to be just as powerful as one another
>>222620647They're effectively the same thing, but they're not beams. The blasters fire bolts of plasma. The lightsaber blade is plasma. The blasters wrap a glob of plasma in a magnetic shell so it doesn't dissipate until it hits its target. Lightsabers have a magnetic shell extending out containing the plasma inside it
>>222620777I figured. It just kind of takes away the prestige of the lightsaber itself then.
Reminder that literally all you have to do to fix Star Wars is decanonize everything made by Disney and anything involving Ahsoka.
>>222620547Yep! We’re on the same page. Since I never really got all that engaged with the EU, I had my own crazy idea about Hutts, too, namely that Jabba was an example of his species in a “pollywog” phase. Later on, I developed this headcanon about their species actually being far more brutal than Jabba, sort of like the Star Wars answer to Orcs/Klingons, and they have a caste system enforced by developmental phases. I even had it that Hutts at Jabba’s phase, the penultimate one, only had just so long to complete their final rite of passage and if they failed, they were grafted into Hutt starships to serve as navigators. In other words, Jabba is an outcast/renegade that connived his way free of the Hutt Empire.
>>222620868Not happening, they own it. They'll run it into the ground until they either sell it or vault it
>>222613918they need to invent curved lightsabres, this will Make Starwars Great Again
>>222615864maybe they should have done some more cocaine before the roll
>>222620910remember the controversy over curved lightsaber hilts
>>222618401but when Nolan does it it earns billions
>>222619693Don’t choke up, and then you have hand protection. Congratulations you can now hand snipe your traditionally minded opponents and cover their ripostes with your cross. Bonus, if they get in close, and you bind up, even your hand guard is potentially lethal. Just jab them with it. You have to account for the cross, but that shouldn’t take too long. Biggest risk is taking hasso (the Qui Gonn Stance) too tight to the body and knocking yourself in the head. That’s annoying if you’re used to a katana and pick up a long sword. In this case you’re probably dead.But if you avoid that one pitfall, you have a weapon that is a straight upgrade against the standard lightsaber. Which is why I hate it. At least Maul’s saberstaff came with pros and cons. This being possible make all the past jedi and sith look a little slow.
>>222620985Curved hilts just make sense, provided you’re using one hand and tight pointwork. Like Dooku was planned to do originally, before they threw that idea out and he was doing kendo/longsword like everyone else.They aren’t better or worse than standard, just a preference thing.
>>222620910The darksaber has a slight curve to give it the tanto profile tip. If the plasma blades can be made to curve, then literal light sabres are possible. I fucking hate the darksaber.
>>222615287Nice try kid but good luck penetrating my pure sphere of lightsaber surrounding my body
>>222613918why not make something useful like a saber shield or maybe a saber pole or a saber mace
>>222621390In the mandalorian, paz vizla has an energy shield that can stand up to the darksaber. So sword and board, as well as spear is completely possible with superior mando tech.Are the jedi just retarded? Unfortunately it’s looking like a yes.
>>222620890>Jabba an outcastThat's literally what it felt like. Almost like he was the last of his kind in a way but I stead of fulfilling his obligations he became some big slob underworld boss.
>>222618965There is no universe where that is a good weapon design. It shows that the people who made it have no clue about weapons or lightsabers.
>>222621622thats why you need some sort of saber mace or saber hammer, to smash through these shields
>>222619798When did Darth Plagueis the Wise abandon reason for madness?
>>222621132Nu-uh, that's bullshit and you know it!
>>222616023It's not a saber, it's heat
>>222615498Literally the only redeemable feature that anons have been able to point to in this absolute garbage is that the blonde Sith chick is somewhat cute. Plus, Disney won't do a full on-screen lesbian makeout session at least not between two relatively attractive women because then they'd immediately lose the arab and chinese market.Plus, they already did their "first ever lesbian kiss in a star war" with their blink-and-you-miss-it background shot in Rise of Skywalker, conveniently just so they could easily edit it out for the aforementioned markets.>actual watchers of the showSo nobody?
>>222618401>stormtrooper at the end runs up three feet to the side like he's trying to hit someone behind herUtterly laughable.
>>222618333>more aware of itselfNO STOP WITH THIS BULLSHITI DON'T WANT SELF AWARE, I DON'T WANT 4TH WALL BREAKING, I WANT SOMETHING HONEST
>>222621908Her bearded not-Sith daddy also gave a pretty good performance. Watching him reminisce about the Jedi temple actually made me feel something just for a moment. Too bad he died.
>>222618763Why does akshoka grab her hand and then hit the sword ? Instead of just hitting the woman with her lightsaber
>>222620547>I always liked the idea that the red sabers are that way because they are modified Jedi weapons to combat Jedi sabers betters.The old lore was that Sith sabers were red because they were synthetic, since they just mass-produced the crystals as they didn't care about doing the whole vision quest shit to go and find a crystal of their own.But that's also a pretty good idea. Definitely better than anything Disney ever thought up with the fucking rocket pop lightsabers.
