Would you waste your third wish to set the genie free?
>>223433260Because the genie might be grateful and keep helping you with his phenomenal cosmic power
>>223433260I only need one wish, so I'd free him first.
>>223433260Sure, if you can't fulfill all your desires in two wishes (no monkey's paw), you're pretty stupid
>>223433260Genie was still hanging aroud and fulfilling Aladdin’s wishes anyway
Depends how well he handles my first two wishes, if he doesn’t do any tomfoolery and makes me have the power to bend reality to my will without any negatives then I’ll set him free.If he fucks it up I wish for him to spend his life being tortured
I'd give him his freedom with my third wish if he promises not to monkey paw me with the first two.
No, I've been reading the One Thousand and One Nights and genies are always evil. Nothing like the Robin Williams genie. They're trapped in their lamps for a reason, and more fool you if you let them out.I'd use my three wishes thus:1) eradicate all flies from the world2) make dust non-existent3) give every human being an IQ of 500
>>223433635>give every human being an IQ of 500Everyone would then now have an IQ of 100
>>223433661It doesn't matter if some pedantic dork readjusts the scale to make 500 the new 100. The point is to elevate the whole species, which it would.
>CLEARLY a rhetorical question
>>223433635>1) eradicate all flies from the worldWhy not just wish for a planet-wide extinction of all living things, that would be quicker
>>223433635>3) give every human being an IQ of 500the end of MAGA, very based anon.
>>223433260djinnpusy
>>223433260I’d use my first wish to free the genie.
>>223433635>3) give every human being an IQ of 500the end of libshit progressives, very based anon.
>>223433260Absolutely.I can't imagine needing anything in life to set me up that takes more than two wishes.Just give me tons of money, and maybe some cool superpowers for shits and gigs.
>>223433635>make dust non-existentThis would be catastrophic, but I understand anon.
>>223433748>eradicate all flies from the worldmonkey paw collapses the entire dry land ecosystem leading to mass extinction of all non-aquatic life >make dust non-existentmonkey paw removes all matter so that it can no longer degrade to create dust>give every human being an IQ of 500monkey paw regresses to previous genetic averages in two generations, not to mention in the meantime all the races on earth who hate you but were too collectively inferior and stupid to do anything about it are now just as capable as you and will devise competent ways to destroy you.
>>223433789anything is better than kamala, keep seething
>>223433260even wishing genie freedom is monkey-paw since>>223433635> I've been reading the One Thousand and One Nights and genies are always evil.
>>223433260Hell no, I bet he'd flip and torture me
>>223433635>make dust non-existentThanks. You just deleted the Earth.
>>223433260For my third wish, I set you free and send you back to become king of the Zutts. Enjoy a wild night with da homies!
>>223434086>>223433967Okay Reddit scientists, I'll make it more specific. I wish, genie, that no dust will settle inside human homes, building no mounds on our furniture and ledges, dirtying no surfaces, and clogging no electronics or PC fans. Is that acceptable to you?
>>223434151Dust mites are an essential part of our ecosystem
>>223433260https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFBYtwcm9Dw
>>223434175My cum is an essential part of your buck's ecosystem.Bend over.
>>223434175mite claws typed this.>dude you should learn to love these miniscule arachnids. Think of them as part of the family.
>>223433260maybe
i wish... to explode earth atmosphere
>>223433635>1) eradicate all flies from the worldThe cocoa tree flower, is only pollinated by flies, so by getting rid of all the flies you've doomed yourself to a world where neither chocolate, cola, or cocaine exist. Well done fucking genius, what do you do for an encore? Burn all the tea?
>>223433260Yeah. Having a genie as a friend would be pretty dope.
>>223433260What is this so called genies buck status?
>>223434726You have three wishes
>>223433260I think I could sort out everything I want within 2 wishes anyway. So maybe. I'd probably hold the third one a while just in case something really bad happened though.Aladdins position was a little trickier though since he was gonna die under the sand without using his first wish.I'd at least try to plan out my wishes so I could potentially free the genie if he had expressed that was what he really wanted and I didn't think he would become a threat to others once freed
>>223434645>doomed yourself to a world where neither chocolate, cola, or cocaine exist.Potentially a net gain for humanity lets be real here. I don't know how important cocaine is the medicine, probably some kind of loss there. Since everybody now has an iq of 500 I'm sure we'd figure something out
i wish i was a little bit talleri wish i was a baller
>>223433787>>223433967>>223434086>>223434645This is like every leftist who thinks they can socially reengineer society, tear down traditions, or act like God with science, thinking they can foresee the consequences of their actions in an incredibly complex system.This is like Mao eliminating the sparrows, and famine ensues.
>>223433635>3) give every human being an IQ of 500good job giving everyone depression, idort.
>>223435191of course Mao was silly, but we can (and should) interfere with nature. keep pests down, protect/breed species that are dying out.there is actually no longer a 'just leave nature to it' option because we'll have an effect no matter what. so we might as will kill off a few bugs that ruin crops, and keep some more polar bears alive.anyway anon should have chose wasps. FUCK wasps.
>>223435241>but we can (and should) interfere with nature. keep pests down, protect/breed species that are dying out.Yes, we should control populations and protect endangered species. That is all fine.Everything with a light touch to keep a balance is fine.Completely removing a species is just insane work. It's crazy to imagine that one person can understand the knock-on effects of that.
>>223435253>It's crazy to imagine that one person can understand the knock-on effects of that.yeah and tbqh fuck it if i know.ANONS WHO ARE CONFIDENT THAT GENOCIDING FLIES WOULD KILL US ALL:show your working. MY tummyfeels tell me we'd deal with it.
>>2234332601. Wish for the ability to foresee the consequences of all future wishes I make before locking them in2. Use the above ability to craft the perfectly worded wish to get everything I want with no monkey paw loopholes3. Free the genie I guess, again using my ability to make sure nothing bad will come of it.
>>223435593Best way to game the genie is:1. Wish to possess all the powers of the genie with none of the drawbacks.2. No, you don't need a 2, you've won. You can safely grant yourself wishes now. No need for the middleman.
>>223433260A laptop that can make, launch and control untraceable missiles as big or small as I desire appear from nowhereA phone that can find the name, address and location of anyone I wantSix billion dollars
Sure why not.
>>223433260I would simply give him a sock
>>223433260Free?
>>223435593there are infinite possible wishesi think your brain would explode or you would go insanebetter first wish: "i wish that you, the genie, would feel deep compassion and care for the well-being of human beings"second wish: "i wish for no refractory period, so i can cum again and again"second wish: "i wish for you to become a woman who loves me more than anyone in the fucking world"
>>223437364You wasted wishes 1 and 3. The genie goes back to the lamp and you can't use her anymore.
>>223433260He was a bro. He saved his ass with out the kid saying it.
>>223433635that has to be the shittiest triad of wishes ever written.I only need one: get rid of all jews.
>>223434824I can live without coke and cola, but I'd become homicidally insane without chocolate. It'd be across between Day of the Dead and Mad Max The Road Warrior as supplies dwindle. We'd tear apart your innards to get the last piece of undigested chocolate, entire cities would be lit on fire to smoke out the last reserves of chocolate covered fruit. Chocolatiers of the world would be our mad preachers spurring us on in our crusade to regain what we lost. We'd toss all those who oppose us into the conchers, and watch as they are slowly massaged to death. When your loved ones are turned into the consistency of whipped butter, you'll tell us where you stored that 70%. Perhaps when the world is destroyed a few enclaves can artificially pollinate cacao trees, and if so they will be the oases from which we rebuild society in our delicious, and perfectly tempered, image.
To have a crazy funny cartoon buddy
>>223437697I appreciate your literary post, anon, but I'm disgusted by your sick chocophilia.
>>223433260I wouldn't make a third wish. I would listen to the Genie's wish, and that's what no one did.
I'd wish for white boys to be able to finally jumpAnd I'd wish the genie was gay
>>223433260>for my 2nd wish, I wish for a clone of you.>for my 3rd wish, I wish you were free.Infinite genie/wish glitch, and you also set them all free so no genie is trapped forever.
For my first wish... i wish you have really, really bad short term memory...>:)
am i allowed to stagger my wishes or will they all come true immediately? i would like to be a filthy hedonist for a while before i get into the cosmic/supernatural stuff
I'd wish for my baby daughter to be alive again.
>>223433260If my genie was much of a bro as the one from Aladdin I would definitely free him with my third wish. He already gave Aladdin a bunch of freebies that didn't count as wishes so I wouldn't want to be a greedy dick and keep him enslaved after I got what I want.
>>223439825but what is your 2nd and 3rd wish?
I remember watching a British documentary about Down's Syndrome - this was about 20 years ago. Parents of DS kids were interviewed and invited to share their thoughts and feelings. An upper-middle-class couple had a DS girl, and they tried very hard, too hard, to make a show of domestic bliss. The father said, "We wouldn't want her any other way!" Well, I didn't find that convincing. It certainly didn't sound truthful to me. So if I had the genie's lamp, I'd leave it on his doorstep one night and wait to see what happened next. I'm pretty sure we'd see his daughter miraculously cured of Down's Syndrome the next day.
>>223433260>setting a genie freeNo. I've seen Wishmaster.
>>223433635>give every human being an IQ of 500You should make that your first wish so you realize how stupid your other 2 are.
>>223440691>noooo not my dirty shit-munching regurgitating-the-contents-of-its-stomach-with-every-landing flyerino! Where would we be without it?
>>223440810>Where would we be without it?Extinct
>>223433260Genie's the most fun friend you could ever hope to have. Of course I would. Wouldn't you do that for your friend?
>>223433260>first wishErradicate all jews>second wishErradicate all jeets>third wishBe free. I have nothing else that I truly wish for this world.
>>223441519How do you know you're not being tricked by an evil genie? Oh yeah, he's all nicey-nicey when he's tethered to the lamp. But once he's free? Anything could happen. Maybe he'll build a pyramid of human skulls and put yours at the top, as the capstone, to punish your keeping him in the lamp while you slowly deliberated over those first two wishes. What were days to you, felt centuries of torture to him.
>>223442138Trust me
>>223442138just make your first wish for all genies to be benevolent
>>223434151Thanks for producing a constant whirlwind inside every single home in existence constantly blowing everything out of the house, faggot.
>>223441519>>223442138Also Genies references to pop culture (probably because this is a rebuilding post apocalypse) would just be incredibly offputting and weird.
>>223433635Why not mosquitoes instead of flies, hell, I'd even wish for spiderniggers too be deleted before flies, roaches too.
>>223433260why not? if you got everything you wanted from the previous 2 wishes which you should
>>223433635>3) give every human being an IQ of 500you dont understand how iq works btw
I wouldn't wish to kill flies. I would wish to control them. Imagine an army of flies at your bidding.
>>223444084>Hey flies, fuck off from my house>You got it boss.
technically he did get three wishes as he tricked the genie into not counting his first one. The genie honoring that is enough to use the “third” to free him.
>>223433260My first wish would be for a painless death
>>223439825Why? Is your post partum acting up again?
>>223442324>your wish is granted... we will be benevolent towards insects
>>223433260>I wish to be a free genie>ignore the next 2 wishes and make genie return to the lamp>use my new powers to find and hide all magic lamps/genies so that my power remains absolute.
>>223435241>anyway anon should have chose wasps. FUCK wasps.Wasps are cunts to a man, especially when they go after your jam on an afternoon tea (or I guess, going after your "popsicle" if you're a Yankee-doodle-dandy and don't do refined things like take tea on the veranda). However without wasps figs, raspberries, carrots, and mint can't be pollonated.No fig roll biscuitsNo raspberry jamNo carrot cakeNo mint teaNot as bad as no chocolate, cola or cocaine, but still more than worth putting up with the stripey shite-hawks.
>>223433351obviously
>>223433351>Might randomly decide to help you sometimes with his cosmic powers, after having literally no obligation to do so once he's freeVs>He literally has to grant your wish (within the parameters) and can't say no because he's technically owned by you stillWhat a fucking conundrum
>>223445500Does the genie lamp even disappear like the dragon balls or can you rub it indefinitely?
>>223433986stop proving him right you dumb Indian
>>223445018in that case, wish #2 is for insects to rule the earth, and #3 will be to turn me into an insect. enjoy your torture bottle for eternity, shitter.
>>223438603Bit of a stretch but I'm glad you did
>>223433635...why flies. flies and maggots are just scavengers. mosquitoes would be the smart choice.Also eliminating dust is a nonsensical wish.From your first 2 wishes you probably live in some desert hellscape lol.
>>223446371Because I live in Scotland where mosquitoes, roaches, and dangerous spiders have never been an issue. But flies annoy the fuck out of me on a regular basis. So I want them gone. My genie, my wish, I'll do what I want, yolo.
Sure. Cause my first wish would be for unlimited genies.
>>223433635>make dust non-existentFuck that, give me control over all forms of dust, full dustomancy. I'd gather all of the dust in the world and dump it on a country with people known for having allergies
My three wishes>Megalodons are no longer extinct>Brown Recluse Spiders now have wings>Iron no longer exists
no, i would wish for him to become my slave forever
>>223433260>i wish i could wish for an infinite amount of wishes>i wish for an infinite amount of wishes
>>223434848I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat.
>>2234332601. I wish all my wishes would turn out as I intend and not be altered, warped, or twisted in any way.2. I wish for all of the beneficial (to me) knowledge, powers, and abilities of all of the most powerful of beings in all of creation as well as the ability to selectively control and manipulate the aforemention in any manner of my deliberate choosing without any kind of mishap or negative side effects.3. I wish the genie to be free and remain my friend and ally for as long as he wants to.
>>223447501>1. and also>2. and also4 wishes right there nigga>3. for as long as he wants to>he doesn't want to>turns you into a newt
I just want one wish and then free the genie, he deserves it
>>223433260I'd promise to set him free just to make sure my first two wishes aren't corrupted, then I'll decide whether to free him
That's a retarded wish
>>223445553t. Saar
>>223433351They're actual demons that some wizard or deity managed to trap. Freeing it is retarded. Getting wealth, status and maybe some super powers is the best way to go.
>>223433635Your first wish has to be that they make peace with Allah and seek to do good henceforth. Otherwise they'll keep doing evil shit and twist your wishes and stuff.
>>223433260
>>223449387Genie comes from “jinn” which are Muslim trickster demons.
>>223445555>5555HOLY QUADS
>>223445500Checked> Why would you inspire loyalty when you can tyrannically force some one to do something.Gee wiz, Watson. If only we had plethora of Historical events and stories that handle this very conundrum.
>>223433260I'd only need one wish, but I'd still keep him around as a slave-friend. We could do things he wants sometimes, too. No faggot shit, tho. They're all getting staked.
>>223446770Even the iron in our blood?
>>223439825you sick bastard, you want to rape her to death again
