Pitch me your idea with the modern audience in mind.
>>223434997The new Rose will be black because you know why
>>223435039At least that'd fix the final plothole.>there's room on the door Jack>nahhhh I'm good lol gl though
>>223434997Can't paint her naked. In a brilliant reversal of expectations, she can paint him naked. And you see his dick.
A movie about the brutal murder of Naiguatá by the RCGS Resolute.
steampunk boat with transsexual orgies and no phone signals
he will come out of prison in about 5 years bros
>>223434997have an incompetent italian captain ram into the shore wanting to honk someone because he got distracted by his mistress on the bridge and then during the rescue he abandons the ship before most of the passengers.naw, no one's gonna buy that
>>223434997When the ship sinks, people will be stampeding to get to the rescue boats and looting the gift shops, while others record on their phones
>>223435139He's earned his freedom.
zombiekino
Jack is frozen in ice and is thawed out for the maiden voyage of Titanic 2 and the FBI are hunting him down for some reason.
what's the origin of the internet shitting on cruise ships? Is it just sour grapes? I've never been on one but it sounds great and fun desu
>>223435321i build megacruisers for a living and i don't understand why americans love them so much.why not just go on an all inclusive beach resort? why go to a more expensive boat where you have just as shitty food, free booze and ugly people around you.
>>223435281I bet you watched AI generated Titanic 2 "trailers" on YouTube.
Titanic 2 came out in 2010
>>223435345They paid top dollar for this, which is a downgrade from a real cruise in every way possible.
lindsay ellis will always be queen of /tv/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjPRAM0WDgw
Titanic 2 but on a super cruise ship would be kino you know it would be
>>223434997It should open with a CIA agent with his thumbs looped through the belt rings on his pants just standing there
>>223435837>mfw Aiden Gillan as CIA agent again
>>223435345>why not just go on an all inclusive beach resort?Flights too and from are expensive, while the cruise trip is the method of transport.If you math it out, a cruise trip can be cheaper than an all inclusive.
>>223435345If you're incredibly passive/lazy, the structure of a cruise ship lets you hand off all organisational responsibility to someone else. Alternately, free drinks means you can dump the one person who fucking always drags the holiday down by refusing to move from the hotel, so when the ship docks somewhere you can actually explore the location and do something while they're sitting at the bar.
COVID CRUISE.
>>223434997>gay and trans booze cruise for singles, polyamorous couples and muslims>at the 20 minute mark the twist is revealed>it's not a cruise, all these people are being deported to the home country of homosexuals, France>the rest of the film follows one brave straight man who snuck on board to sink the ship and save even France from the human disease the boat is carrying
>>223434997we take the biggest cruise ship, and we sink it.
>>223435139Vada a bordo cazzo
>>223435345Boomers are an excuse for boomers to engage in swinging and cuckolding.
>>223435039>Rose... do you think that door... could hold us both?>But I'm already on it
>>223436056>Boomers are an excuse for boomersTrvke
>>223435377>Star Wars: the adventures of young Obama
titantic verus terminaterjohn conners grandad is n the ship and syknet sends a terminater back to kill him .the rebels send someone back to stop him.
>>223434997Unironically Titanic in space
>>223434997https://pastebin.com/BJ3Fxv87
>>223436507Fuck you I literally wrote Terminator titanic a few months ago and just reposted it here >>223436657
>>223436672Post script synopsis
>>223434997titanic hits iceburg portal to liminal space pool room and there is drama in choosing which room to float into
>>223434997I wouldn’t be surprised if it got skunked because of witchcraft.
>>223435321Why would I pay thousands and be contained in a cabin like a prison when I could travel around the world and enjoy freedom without being surrounded by people for the same cost?
>>223435837>>223435900>He didn't swim so good.
>no one mentioned gamblingThese ships always seem to have casinos on them. Boomers fucking love gambling.
>>223435151>italianToo on the nose, if anything
>>223434997>a cruise ship is teleported to a lifeless ocean world after crossing the Bermuda Triangle>a small group of TikTokers are trying to survive among the chaos>food and drinks run out within a week, forcing many of the passengers to practice cannibalism>the tiktokers, who'd just lose one of their own to a group of crazy cannibals in one of the lower decks, come across an astronomer>the astronomer does the whole "WE ARE ON AN ALIEN PLANET" reveal before hopping off the ship with a propane tank and a lighter>he's left notes for the tiktokers to read>they are scientifically illiterate and can't read for shit>meanwhile, everyone on Earth thinks their dead>movie ends with the ship getting tipped over in a bad storm and sinking to the bottom of the alien ocean>post-credits scene is astronomer waking up on a beach in the Bahamas, a sexy woman looming over him while he moans in agonizing pain from exploding himself with a propane tank
>>223435139What ever happened to women and children first Italy bros?
>>223435345Honestly I looked into a cruise and it was 5000 eurodollars. I'm sorry but I'd rather rent a nice apartment for 2 weeks on some sunny island. Sorry for being poor.
>>223436672I first mentioned Terminator titanic years ago and posted it on /tv/ many times
>>223437339based poorfag
>>223434997It'd be a commentary on consumerism and wastefulness or something.
>>223434997A giant kaiju rises from the waterAll the people do drugs, get drunk and have a massive party as it approachesIt then swipes its hand on the side of the ship, sending everyone flying like dustThe end
>>223435837>that's a big ship
Instead of an iceberg, it collides with plane of course in the fog.
>>223435345I will never go on a cruise if I can avoid it. They're fucking gay. I'd rather do awesome shit at the destination and not be tied to a ship's schedule and also have to deal with a bunch of monkeys I can't get away from.
>>223436657You briefly had me with terminator merging with the boat
>>223437724>terminator merging with the boatA killer robot merging with a boat's systems is something that happens in Virus(1999). Terrible film, though it has very impressive special effects.
>>223435139This guy was involved in accidents and disasters before, what a disgrace.
>>223436815 see >>223436657its just a gag movie abstract
>>223436657>drops the jewel in the water>retrieved at the bottom of the ocean by Terminator-LeoUnironic kino
>>223438205Leo and Terminator went into the jewel and now they're the same and Leo's evil, and they're down there pissed and mad and seething until the Titan submersible comes by and they kill it to lure James Cameron down so they can possess him with the jewel.
