Seeing Zendaya for the first time in Spiderman: Homecoming was the shock of my life.I was so hyped for a new fresh take on Spiderman that I cagily avoided all marketing materials, all trailers, and all commercials. If I walked by a toy aisle at the store and caught a small glimpse of a Spiderman plushie, I'd look away immediately. I wanted to go into the new saga with an entirely open mind, as pure as an Amish virgin. On opening night I knew Michael Keaton played the antagonist (that much was hard to avoid, even though I shielded my eyes), but little else. I didn't even know which characters from the MCU would show up.When the name of Zendaya's character was revealed as Mary Jane, I let out an audible gasp. My entire row of filmgoers looked at me like I was nuts, but I couldn't help myself. There before me was the most Simian creature I'd ever seen in New York city. A boyish gorilla girl with huge flaring nigger nostrils and big Nigerian chieftain eyebrows. And apparently she was Mary Jane.Oftentimes film studios will soften the blow by casting Zoe Saldana or Halle Berry... but not this time. This time you were forced to feast your eyes on the brownest most boyish looking ironing board of a woman, blown up forty feet high on an IMAX screen.I looked around, uncomprehendingly, as the rest of the crowd seemed to accept this monstrosity as MJ. Then it occurred to me that I was the only person who hadn't already seen months' worth of marketing materials.Little by little, they had been led to accept this by drips and drabs of commercials, trailers, and TV interviews. Their minds had been so softened that they were willing to stare unflinchingly, even giggle and smile as Zendaya made her signature ZendayaFaces™.Lots of people debate about the exact moment when Spiderman died. I contend it was when that eternally frowning deadpan charisma black hole Zendaya with her Lovecraftian face was revealed as Mary Jane to the audience.
I aint reading all that shit negro. Cute cave man though
