>‘You cannot pass,’ he said. The orcs stood still, and a dead silence fell. ‘I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow You cannot pass.’
You have to be such a fucking virgin to think any of this shit is cool lol
>>223506571Dumbledore said calmly
>>223506584YOU
>>223506584Nah it's awesome
>>223506584SHALL
>>223506584NOT
>>223506584Sneed
>>223506584PASS
delivered like a fucking drama queen in the movie. fuck hackson, fuck millenials
>>223506571https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KvoHQtXMZM
>>223506584poetic line is soul, not cool
>>223506584kek
LOTR and Conan the Cimmerian are the peak of fantasy, and have banger stories. There are no other comparisons.Everything else is just wishful copy-n-paste subpar trash in comparison.
>>223506571>I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor.>Balrog: I'm on fire dude, I absorb fire lmaoooo
>>223507019I hate all fantasy but Tolkien because if I'm going to watch or read some shit inspired by him I may as well just consume his shit.
>>223507019They are male power fantasy slop full of problematic characters. There are not BIPOC points of views and brown people are lumped up as an homogenous biomass of slop without real agency except being brown and bad
>>223507019>Conan the Cimmerian>peak of fantasy,Not even close.
>>223507078because it's northern european myths and legends
>>223507146Go to bed VargTolkien mythos centred around Catholicism and Connan is literally fetish of the lonely urbanite.
Christopher Tolkien just couldn't get over the fact that if he got the LotR movies he wanted they would've been more like documentaries than action/adventure movies.
>>223507078>BIPOCholy christ do you use that word out loud? i thought you guys only used that word amongst yourselves. I feel humiliated for you.
>>223507078>brown people are lumped up as an homogenous biomass of slop without real agency except being brown and bad"It was Sam's first view of a battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it much. He was glad that he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the man's name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil of heart, or what lies or threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would rather have stayed there in peace."I know this is bait, but still felt it was worth pointing out.
>>223507199I feel like its gotta be some kind of mkultra psyop, cause every stem major I've ever met loves tolkien. its fucking bizarre.
>>223507293Maybe it's just good and most nerds like fantasy
>>223507304or, you know, maybe it touches on a certain social immaturity that nerds have, something often conflated with autism, a lack of emotional intelligence.
>>223507199>Christopher TolkienAm I supposed to care about him?
>>223507317Let's hear about your favourite books then. Just know that I'm ready to call you a pseud.
>>223507317have you ever thought, that maybe, just maybe, nobody has actually READ tolkien and they are just Saying they have? Cause, you know, I read the Hobbit, and I got to the part with Smaug and I was just so bored by then, I nearly fell asleep.Even the movie was boring. I mean, I know people listen to audiobooks now, but like, the material is so dry, what can oration really do to save the narrative?
>>223507317You sound so insufferable, worse than a nerdy autist
>>223507346And you know, the Hobbit is like, half the size of ONE volume of lord of the rings, and if I can't make it half way through the Hobbit, then chances are I wouldn't make it through a quarter of the first novel.And I've read long books, you know, Steven King, lot of classic sci fi authors who weren't stingy with their words.
>>223507365I mean have you ever read the once and future king? that even held my interest, and the bloody hobbit was supposed to be one of the more fast paced works of Tolkien.
>>223507318Not anymore. He's dead and the rest of the estate clearly doesn't give a shit.
>>223507374english literature is just so dry, i mean you have no idea. it makes dickens look like Alan Ginsburg hopped up on methamphetamines.
>>223507279Brown people are lumped into Orcs. Southrons/Easterling/Hillmen are allegories for the corrupted races which can be considered swarthy in their complexion (Italians, Balkanmutts, French, formerly Celts).
>>223507389what the fuck am i talking about, you guys have no idea who i'm talking about, do you?
>>223507394So what, your saying that the book is about the authors British adventures in Africa prior to WW 1?
>>223507415The scene in the swamp with the dead bodies is probably related to some WW1 memory
>>223506694HOLLY FUARKING TRVKE
>>223507394explain to me how negros are an allegory for tolkiens suppressed nationalistic views towards his own country and he argued that the imperialist patronage of britain towards africa was a mistake, and that he was, in fact, advocating for genocide in Africa so as not to burden the white race.Nobody in their right mind is that full of shit.
>>223507055>read some shit inspired by him [Tolkien]"The Hobbit" was published in 1937, Robert E. Howard had his first "Conan" story published in 1932.
>>223507053The Balrog only identifies as the Secret Fire, hence why he does not pass
>>223506571>You cannot passI understand now why there are literal troons ITT malding at Tolkien
>>223507394>Brown people are lumped into Orcs.They aren't. Return of the King put even bigger emphisize on their difference, they fight for Sauron, but for different reasons,>formerly CeltsI have a bad news for you anon, but the whole Tolkein's legendarium is Catholic cosmological system placed into celtic linguistic matrix.
>>223506571Not much of a secret when he just told everyone about the fire
>>223506584We all were virgins when Fellowship of The Ring came out. Most of you still are.
>>223507993it's capitalized, so the "Secret Fire" is an official title.
>>223506611>>223506623>>223506631>>223506650Gandalf said calmly.
>>223506571The orcs stood still because they all be thinking "dis nigga serious?" Then they charged him and tore his ass apart.
>>223506584>virgin shamingkill yourself
>>223509165>shaming4chan now talks like a bunch of Twitter feminists.Pathetic.
>>223506571
>>223506584You cannot pass. I am a Sneedposter of the Seed and Feed, wielder of the Flame of Bane. You cannot pass. The neo-vagina will not avail you, hairy old Troon! Go back to Bluesky. You cannot pass!
>>223506694Tbf Gandalf is a lot more of a drama queen in the books. All the characters are, except Denethor.
>>223510969Tom Bombadil is no drama queen. In fact, he is the strongest being in all the world. He would have easily solo defeated Sauron, Saruman, the Balrog, plus all their minions
>>223506571Tolkien was kino machine>In rode the Lord of the Nazgûl. A great black shape against the fires beyond he loomed up, grown to a vast menace of despair. In rode the Lord of the Nazgûl, under the archway that no enemy ever yet had passed, and all fled before his face.>All save one. There waiting, silent and still in the space before the Gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax: Shadowfax who alone among the free horses of the earth endured the terror, unmoving, steadfast as a graven image in Rath Dínen.>"You cannot enter here," said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. "Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!">The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark. From a mouth unseen there came a deadly laughter.>"Old fool!" he said. "Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!" And with that he lifted high his sword and flames ran down the blade.>And in that very moment, away behind in some courtyard of the city, a cock crowed. Shrill and clear he crowed, recking nothing of war nor of wizardry, welcoming only the morning that in the sky far above the shadows of death was coming with the dawn.>And as if in answer there came from far away another note. Horns, horns, horns, in dark Mindolluin's sides they dimly echoed. Great horns of the north wildly blowing. Rohan had come at last.
>>223507106So what's better>>223507277Please learn to spot bait
>>223507078>brown people are lumped up as an homogenous biomass of slop without real agency except being brown and badIts more realistic than you'd think.
>>223506650Could the balrog talk?
>>223511408Yes but he kept using slurs so they edited it out
