>SLYTHERIN BAD
slytherin is filled with the biggest card carrying villain retards on the planet. absolutely none of them are intelligent or scheming in any real way.
From my perspective the Gryffindor are evil.
>>223920760Yes they are up by 10785 points, however I will award the other team 10794 points in the final minute despite us regularly only awarding single digit points and occasionally double digit points. Oh look at that! My former house won!
Malfoy stumbled down the street and the darkness followed. All he had left was the wand clutched in his cold, sweaty hand. clack the street lamp ahead of him was swallowed by the night. The light was captured by a strange apparatus while reflecting against a pair of crescent-shaped spectacles. He was coming. "Draco, Draco, Draco", a calm voice reverberated from the void. "I assure you this is quite futile." clack The darkness descended upon Malfoy. "L-lumos.", he stammered. "Expelliarmus.", Dumbledore stated drily as he stepped next to him, his wand pointing in no particular direction. Malfoy's magic wand dropped to the ground impotently. "My father will-" he started, cowering on the cold brick road, but the sound of his own voice startled him to silence. "But my dear Draco, the Aurors are wanderboarding him as we speak. Soon we'll have the location of every Slytherin alumni. Once we do, the Order shall pay them a little visit. Have their spawns try this on for size." Dumbledore pulled a brown piece of leather from his enormous, purple coat. It was the sorting hat. "You see Draco, it took me some years to calibrate this ugly rag, but finally it can sort children of all ages. Infants even." There was a cold expression in the wizard's old, watery eyes. "To get rid of a poisonous tree, it must be plugged out by the roots. You understand, don't you Draco? The Slytherin menace must be eradicated once and for all. It gives me no pleasure." But even as he said it, Dumbledore's other wand stood to attention. "Sir, please..." Tears were obscuring his vision. "Imperius." the Headmaster said and Malfoy diligently executed his order to kneel and bite down on the curb of the sidewalk. "Farewell, Draco. No death curse for you. Disposed of like a Muggle thug... if only Salazar could see you now. " There was a pause - then his mind was taken by agony as the Headmaster of Hogwarts stretched his leg against the back of Malfoy's head with tremendous force.
>>223920807How is former houses not a huge conflict of interest? They should have external teachers brought in to be headmasters. Or just reboot the houses every so often so they're never the same as the teachers days. Also why can house masters just give out points like any other teacher?
>>223920867Letting staff just arbitrarily hand out or deduct points is a pretty obvious issue. Points should be solely based on competition and academic results.But the biggest problem is the sorting hat itself. Grouping students into houses based on personality traits is just a fucking terrible idea.
>>223920971Why? thats seems like how I would rather have it. Never went to boarding school but classes being based on just ability level kinda sucked.
>>223921172Because, academics aside, the whole point of school is socializing you which means learning to get along with all kinds of people. The selection should be essentially random.The other problem with a qualitative selection criteria is distribution. What if none of the new students in a given year are "Ravenclawish". Does Ravenclaw just have to deal with a missing year group?
>>223920760Please put malfoid general or mtf in the post next bake so I can find it easier
>>223920760why do they even have the house of Slytherin
>school has a house specifically for evil students and enemies of the state Literally why lmao
>>223921378Kinda hilarious that the parents of tons of Slytherins got busted at the end of OOTP then they let their kids back in Hogwarts the next year no problem even though tons of members of the Order including the headmaster were active there, then they acted all surprised that Voldemort tasked one of the kids with killing the headmaster.
>>223920793then you are lost
>>223920760>I THINK SLYTHERIN SUCKS
>>223921314>>223921378I always thought of it as to make the point of prejudice but then Rowling cemented the whole Slytherin are evil in the last book when Harry sneaks back into Hogwarts and then a Slytherin girl yells it him then Mcgonagall locks every Slytherin student in their dorm, it was probably the stupidest thing Rowling ever wrote, I was expecting a actually Slytherin holds good traits and most don't become terrorists but nope, in our world Slytherin is quite popular, the hogwarts legacy game has trophies and achievements and looking at the rates Gryffindor was the most popular while Slytherin was the 2nd most popular, I'm talking about 22% for Gryffindor, 20% for Slytherin, 15% Ravenclaw and 11% for Hufflepuff when it comes to Playstation trophy
The houses are from when the school was founded by four different wizards all with different ideas of what was important. They can't just get rid of the houses because of magic, Hogwarts would probably break or something.
>>223921257>the whole point of school is socializing you which means learning to get along with all kinds of peoplethis is just a leftist idea
>>223921600Whats the appeal of hufflepuff? just the contrarian pick?
>>223921600>then Mcgonagall locks every Slytherin student in their dormWasn't this a movie addition?
>>223921600>Mcgonagall locks every Slytherin student in their dormShe didn't, it was in the movies where it was actually stupider since she sent them to their dungeons. In the books all underage students are ordered to evacuate and then those of age are given a choice to stay in the fight. 100% of Gryffindors stayed, most Hufflepuff stayed, 50% of Ravenclaw stayed and 0% of Slytherin stayed. A little later Dumbledore's brother complains saying they should have taken the Slytherins hostage(since many Death Eaters are their parents) but Harry rebukes him by saying Dumbledore wouldn't have done it.
>>223921600Rowling makes the Slytherin evil too sweeping but she does add some redeeming touches. There's the whole Snape thing which is actually the weakest point, but also Slughorn was Slytherin and he fought Voldemort directly, Lucius and Narcissa were willing to betray Voldemort to save their son, and Draco is shown to have had a soft reconciliation with Harry in the epilogue. In the extended lore Rowling says that Merlin was a Slytherin and he's never described negatively in the books.
>>223921804I meant white people, or more generally, the fellow people of your homeland. I'm not a fan of multiculturalism.
>>223921809Jock houseEdgelord houseNerd houseSlacker house
>>223922227Slughorn's good but after spending several books shitting on Slytherin it's not really enough. If only the series had a Slytherin character with a more prominent role in the story who Harry slowly connects with, an antagonist who becomes a deuteragonist.
>>223921804The point of school is to condition you to listen to your 'superiors' (Future bosses) while robbing your parents access to easy labour. (You)Thus robbing the world of independence, and fostering slavery.
>>223920793This
>>223922326Correct.
>>223920867Because Rowling is not a very good writer.
>>223923145> In he age of countless children fantasy authors, the mid one came out on top.Bravo publishers and Holywood I guess
>>223923145>>223923200It was a setting mixing modern life with contemporary technology with medieval-like magical fantasy, it was a goldmine and she struck it first.
>>223923145I'm kinda tired of people using this excuse. At this point why don't we just come up with our own canon?
>>223923305>I'm kinda tired of people using this excuse.Nigga Rowling (or ghost writers) fucking things up since the 4th book is is the reason behind at least 50% of the existing fanfiction
>>223921429You see, Hogwarts is a business and money from enemies of the state is just as green as anyone else's, so they let their kids back in under the thin veneer of the idea that they could "reform" them or whatever
>>223923408Sorry I'm new to the fan fiction.
>>223923777 poorfag nonce
>>223923819>nonceI'm American, this word holds no power over me
Having started the week with the Chamber of Secrets, I'm going into Deathly Hallows part 2, anyone else?
>>223924817skipping five movies? no.
>>223924827Excuse me?
>>223920760how did they win the last 6 cup if they are so bad???plot hole???
>>223924975they CHEATED
>>223921257>The selection should be essentially random.The twist should've been that the selection is actually random, and that the students tend to conform to the stereotype they think they are. It would explain why Hermione isn't in Ravenclaw, why Ron isn't in Hufflepuff, etc.
>>223925059so they are very pretty smart? or is Dumbledore a moron? lazy?
>>223925102Dumbledore stopped giving a shit about anyone but Harry Potter in about 1952.
>>223920847I love it. Somehow, it fits Dumbledalf far too well.
>>223925086Wasn't the twist actually that Sorting Hat isn't sorting based on personality traits, but it sorts the students based on which House they already want to belong to?
>>223921600That bit of stupidity only happened in the film. In the book, she acted quite sensibly: during the evacuation of the students, she made sure the Slytherins were the first to be taken to safety.Come to think of it, the film adds a layer of irony to the story. The "good" characters end up fostering even greater segregation within their own society. As these Slytherins grow up, they will likely continue to support and identify with an exclusive, "insiders-only" club. In a sense, this dynamic was already functioning like a fasces even since Voldemort's youth. And Snape, despite his simping for Lily, joined the Death Eaters precisely because his fellow Slytherins had accepted him and offered him support, regardless of the fact that his father was a dirty muggle.
>>223922227Nah. These "redeeming" traits are simply an egoistic desire for one's own comfort, security, or prestige. They began to oppose Voldemort when he became too "inconvenient."Of course the Malfoys value their child more than some deranged, undead dictator who has returned from the void to destroy their cushy lives Voldemort literally terrorized them: he took up residence in their home, sent Lucius to the Ministry to kill children (effectively setting him up for a one-way ticket to Azkaban), and branded Draco.They did not oppose him on the grounds that he was causing harm to the magical community before that.Snape was perfectly fine with Voldemort wiping out the Longbottoms, James, Harry, and other families, as long as he left Lily to him. Snape couldn’t have cared less that her mental state would shatter completely upon losing her child - so long as there remained a chance for him to fuck her at least once.Slughorn is a bourgeois opportunist who wants to eat well and sleep soundly. He may very well have known what Tom Riddle was up to at school and after, yet he did nothing, because the situation suited him just fine.
>>223920847Made me chuckle. Nice work if this is not a copypasta
I just finished watching the entire series, where does one go from here anons?
>>223920769>>223921378So what are the implications that fucking Merlin was a Slytherin? Like obviously Griffyndor's sword was a ripoff of Excalibur
>>223920769Does the language have a word for those of stupid-cunning disposition? Those whose pathology for ambition is matched only by their failure to achieve them?
>>223927062The implication is Rowling through out a random name because Merlin is obviously older than Hogwarts.
>>223927062don't think about it too much.Rowling fucked up by including Merlin as one of the school student since he would have been 400years old when they school was created.
>>223927123Cartoon villain.>>223927127>through*threwI am dumb.
I just reread the books and you guys are a bunch of retards. They're extremely well written and they're FUN TO READ. The whole point of Slytherin is that the wizard society is extremely fractured and there's a non insignificant amount of wizards that don't want to get overrun by muggles and keep their own identity. Yes, some of the Slytherin bad stuff is heavy handed but it's supposed to easily digestible for 12 year olds, not morbidly obese 40 year old virgins. The fact that the books are still so relevant is overwhelming proof that JK won.
>malfoys hate Weasleys >both are purebloods>weasleys have 5 kids Malyfoys have 1Are the malfoys retarded? Just have more kids you rich fucks
>>223927391I bet narcissa wanted more but lucius going out with his death eaters' friends ruined her plans
>>223920760The problem with taking Harry Potter seriously is that it's written by a woman. Nothing makes sense because she's not a man.
>>223927391same reason why wealthy conservatives hate broke liberals voting for more taxes.
>>223922347Wish I could go back to high school and be surrounded with girls wearing pantyhose
>>223927391The Malfoys have remained wealthy and successful for centuries because they pass their legacy down to a single heir. On the marriage market, such an heir is highly sought after by other magical families. Fewer children also mean a lower chance of ending up married to an aunt or a cousin. This is how they have managed to sustain their lineage consistently for hundreds of years.As for the Weasley family, their success in the books is simply a matter of dumb luck - it’s a children’s story, after all, and they need to be rewarded as heroes.In reality, a family with that many children would only breed more poverty and misery for their offspring. They would have squandered Harry’s fortune in no time, as none of them were ever taught how to manage money. Percy and Bill would have likely become workaholics, serving as the only ones keeping the family afloat. The Weasley twins’ business is also highly unrealistic and, in all likelihood, would have gone bust. And their "pure-blood" status, at best, ends with the family Percy will eventually marry into. the rest have clearly married into mixed-blood lines.
>>223927655One of the few benefits of growing up in britain was how common that was
so what are the best Malfoid videos? minus 10 points to your house if you link a bad one
>>223927824>Malfoid videosabsolute gay shit
>>223927824there are nonethey are all cringe AIslops
>>223927824I like this spic's slop. He captures more or less exactly what id like to see out of the concepthttps://youtu.be/h48q8tXo8mE?is=Nn7SB8uk4tZ-WwnR
>the Death Eaters were originally known as the Knights of WalpurgisWhy the hell would Voldy throw away a name that kino? Is he stupid?
>>223927824Schmede is the best onehttps://youtu.be/FJFiu8JL3R8But I also really like the anime style OPshttps://youtu.be/A555sFp1sKEThere's also Foyegehttps://x.com/Foyege24/status/2113944213499097218And Louiversehttps://youtu.be/f9m1SwSe1nE
>>223927983walpurgis is gay
>>223928071nah you are
>>223928084I wish...
>>223928023>Schmede is the best one>Three 30 y.o. women are exhibiting pseudo-adolescent behavior.On one hand, it’s a good thing that 40-year-old fanboys aren’t fawning over children; on the other hand, watching this is just cringeworthy.
>>223927281agree.
>>223920760>did you put your hairy potter into the goblet???!!!!!!! >AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH>dumbledore mouthed soundlessly
>>223921827Makes sense now>>223922145But then Rowling did make Slytherin like death eater sympathizers, that sucks, atleast 50% of Slytherin students shouldve fought against death eaters this just really cements Slytherin as the evil house which makes it's existance a joke>>223922227Those are good examples but thats like 5 people in total, doesnt really address the Slytherin issue>>223926381Yes, the whole assault at Hogwarts wouldve been the perfect opportunity to break the Slytherin prejudice cycle but looks like Rowling just proved that the prejudice is correct
>>223927824my favoritehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2oeWa-LUVkBut there's a LOThttps://www.youtube.com/@j.a.vazquez5946/videoshttps://www.youtube.com/@galakushihttps://www.youtube.com/@schmede_AI/videos
>>223922227>they are not evil!!!! 0.1% of them did the right thing that one time!
>>223928704>But then Rowling did make Slytherin like death eater sympathizers, that sucks, atleast 50% of Slytherin students shouldve fought against death eaters this just really cements Slytherin as the evil house which makes it's existance a jokeI agree that it was stupid to make it so that absolutely none of them decided to stay and fight, but I think most of them not fighting is perfectly in-line with the values Slytherin house is supposed to represent. It makes sense for them to be self-preserving and to avoid fighting to the death if they can help it. Look at the Ravenclaws, half of them didn't fight - they presumably decided getting out of dodge was the smart choice to make.
>>223927767I wish I wasn't a retard back then...
>>223929028yeah
>>223921809Its the whimsical choice for autistics and trolls.
>>223921809The original version was Hufflepuff = hard work and hands on experience, Ravenclaw = book learning, Gryffindor = Revolution and change, Slytherin = Aristocracy and order. And probably you would have Ron going to Hufflepuff, Hermione going to Ravenclaw, and the 3 of them would be set against Malfoy in Slytherin. But it looks like some things were changed around in the early drafts to make it more of a kid's book. So Gryffindor became "the good guys" and Slytherin "the bad guys". And they put all of Harry's friends in Gryffindor probably so they'd feel more intimate.
>>223920760>Slytherin bad, Hitler good, he ejaculated shoutedly
>>223927951This is just mentally retarded a03slop.
>>223920847Love it
>>223927983I don’t think that was said to be their original name but if it was I’d imagine he abandoned it when he wanted to permanently distance himself from “Tom Riddle”
>Ron ejaculatedWhat did Rowling mean by this
>>223927885>>223927889what do you think of this?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os8ULNNjEWI>it's AIis that a criticiam anymore?
>>223927885>>223927889or this one?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tCVsS8X6mU
>>223929809she looks like she's 30tfw no english gf thougheverbeit
>>223928917But Ravenclaws don't have the evil stigma that Slytherin has, Rowling messed up there
>>223929517That does sound better than what we got, I was surprised to see them all becoming gryffindors upon watching the films, having just a tidbit of lore knowledge about the situation
There's already a maltranny general going, no need for another
>>223920847>Malfoy stumbled down the street and the darkness followed. All heHe? Malfoy? What the fuck is this?
>>223921827>>223928704No, it was in the book.
>>223921809autists, transsexuals, overly fake polite wasps, people who dont want to meet anyone outside their friend group, talentless witches and wizards who want "acceptance" for their mediocrity
>>223929517Making the core trio all Gryffindor make perfect sense to me>You can have them follow the same classes with the same teachers at the same time, so they all hear the same informations needed to progress the story>They can all hang out in the Gryffindor common room in the evening (which is where they talk a lot about their plan and such in the book)>You can concentrate the quidditch / point subplots around a single house rather than constantly juggle around "omg Harry is going to have to play against Hufflepuff even though it’s Ron's team"
>>223929615You are mentally retarded but are pretending not to be. Stop pretending at us anon
this discord tranny psyop shit has got to go
DSL
>>223930268What pages?
>>223930721>pretending at us Good morning, saar! Redeem the Malfoid.
Malfoid with small boobs is pure, unadultered kino. It could have been canonical even in another timeline.
>>223927951Madhouse should animate a Harry Potter anime if it happened.
