What the fuck
The Mr. Peanut origin story
It's a reboot. Different timeline.
Caillou: The Reckoning
>>223930416>Doris, we've cured Caillou's leukemia... but he's... different...
>>223930397Why? What was the point of moving it to the 70s and kneecapping any chance of fitting with the movies?
>>223930397Ill different your timeline
I thought it was an odd choice to make Jason not retarded in this. If he wasn't retarded and was instead just ugly, why the fuck wouldn't he just go home or ask people for help finding Pamela or whatever once he got out of the lake? It's not like he's a toddler that doesn't know anything, he's like 9 or 10 years old. He knows how to communicate with adults. Also, apparently he just stops having seizures once he "drowned" for some reason, which sure is lucky for him, isn't it?
>>223930329Timmy humiliation ritual
>cockroach DNAMore like Jason Vorheesbergstein
Yakub!
>>223930478So they don't have to take into account the body-hopping worm shit from Jason Goes to Hell.
>cockroach DNA
>>223930416Heh
When will they show him playing hockey?
>>223930478Because they were trying to get ahead of the homos online who would inevitably bitch because it didn't perfectly match their headcanon.
>>2239305721) Because he was angry with her for making him go to the camp. 2) The drowning didn't kill him, but the lack of oxygen for an undisclosed amount of time clearly fucked up his brain, which is also why he's non-verbal. He's got some kind of regeneration, but it's not a perfect Wolverine healing factor.
>>223930572Lack of oxygen to his brain Rambo Ralph explained it.>>223930416Who's Caillou?>>223930478It would have been the same, but the producers included 1958 year as the year of his birth.
>>223930329is that aegon?
>>223930806That doesn’t matter because it’s New Line Jason, not the original Paramount continuity.
>>223930329>*zelda item noise*
>>223930329I look and act just like this. Nobody knows im a child of incest from India tho =)
>the initial 2 kills from the 1st Friday movie were actually done by the random OC girl not Pamela>Jason is immortal because of weird science experiments his dad did on him when he was an infant>Also radioactivity causes him to age rapidly and gain super strength
>>223933937Don’t forget the cannon fodder hippies.
>what if the slashers were actually the real victimsFUCKING YAAAAAAAAAWN
>>223930329Pretty good origin story. It adds a bit of believability and context to his hitherto unexplained and otherwise mystical capabilities. It's like joker falling in the acid bath or Spiderman and the spider bite. It explains his attachment to his mother and why it's nearly impossible to kill him.
Some of the kills were great in this desu
>>223932897Caillou was a children’s cartoon series popular in late 90s early 00s Canada. The little kid was depicted as bald.
>>223932369>>223932897So he just so happened to lose the ability to talk and his seizure condition at the exact same time? Drowning is the cure for seizures?
>>223930572I haven't actually watched the show yet, but my headcanon idea for Jason was>Pamela, in wanting to protect Jason from bullies, is overprotective and repressive>Perhaps seeing him get tricked and bullied in the past, she lashes out at a girl who's actually trying to be Jason's friend>She may have had neuroses around sex already prior to Jason's apparent death causing her to snap, for example from being impregnated and then abandoned to raise a deformed child on her own>Perhaps a religious fanatic (flexible on this) and tried to tell Jason sex, drugs and women other than her were evil to protect him>When Jason apparently dies, he survives but does not return immediately due to disorientation from oxygen loss and then later because although he loves his mother he enjoys his newfound freedom from her smothering overprotectiveness>Going back to what I said before, maybe he witnesses Pamela murdering the girl who actually was befriending him, based on Pamela misunderstanding her as a bully tricking him>After witnessing this he is reluctant to go back but watches his mother with mixed emotions from afar as she is the only living person who showed him love>Pamela has completely snapped>Praying to God will not bring Jason back to her and in desperation she abandons God turns to the dark arts and tries to cast a spell from a Necronomicon she finds to resurrect Jason (not as a deadite but some other thing)>Little does she know Jason is not dead, so the spell doesn't do anything but remains dormant until he actually dies for real at which time it kicks in>Jason witnesses Pamela's death while hiding from the trees and feels responsible for abandoning her>Hears her voice (this could be purely psychological, could be related to the occult, ambiguous) telling him to kill the campersAnd the rest is history.
>>223930329>make kid severely retarded looking>hes not retarded btw and also he's the goodest good boy and everyone around him is mean and evil.ZZZZZzzzzzzzxz
>>223934028>popular in late 90s early 00s CanadaNah everyone hated that little faggot. Real Canadians watched Arthur, Totally Spies and Marvin Mystery.
>>223934316Its also THE show that taught other kids programs that showing a kid throwing a tantrum is always a bad idea
>>223934206>I was fine with him being brought back with a lightning bolt, being turned back into a child by sewer toxic waste, and magical transforming Voorhees daggers, but THIS is where I draw the line!Anyway how do you know that he no longer has seizures? We saw him for maybe a total of three minutes.
>>223934001Cant wait for next Freddy Kruger remake where he really was innocent and unjustly murdered by the mob so his revenge is justice.
>>223934285lol if you do end up watching it, please report back with a comparison to what you’ve written here.
>>223934588>>I was fine with him being brought back with a lightning bolt, being turned back into a child by sewer toxic waste, and magical transforming Voorhees daggers, but THIS is where I draw the line!Until this show it's been pretty universally understood that child Jason and adult killer Jason were roughly the same, intelligence-wise. If you're gonna make such a huge change to the character and reveal he was actually just a normal kid mentally, I dunno, I guess I was just expecting more than "and he just magically lost his voice when it came time for the big body.">Anyway how do you know that he no longer has seizures?Because they completely knock him on his ass as seen in the first episode and I imagine he can't exactly get his hands on prescription meds anymore like he could when he was with Pamela, so either drowning cured his seizures somehow or he's just gonna randomly die in the woods one day.
>>223930840incorrect
>>223930329>LEONIDAS, YOU ARE WRONG
>>223933937>Also radioactivity causes him to age rapidly and gain super strengthdidn't happen
This was just fucking dumb, even for Friday The 13th. When it's a 90 minute slasher movie it's just dumb fun you can laugh about and then move along, but this was interminable retardation.
>>223934017Was not expecting some of them to be as brutal as they were, especially for a tv show.
>>223930329Rocky Dennis!
>Jason is drowning>The camp owner leaps into the water to save him>Pamela eventually comes across the scene, sees Jason drowning, jumps in the water, tries to save him>The camp owner has completely disappearedDid I miss something? Did the guy just sink to the bottom like a rock? He's in later episodes so it's not like he drowned trying to save Jason or something. Where the fuck did he go?
>>223937465the scene like many, makes no sense. jason also disappears, only to reappear later bigger and retarded
>>223930416Kek
>>223934829I can see them doing this and making it an allegory for MAGA anti trans/lgbt.
but when does he surf?
>>223930329>Lt. Commander Worf during his childhood on Earth
>>223937549>jason also disappearsFor a little while I was wondering if the reason Jason kept "disappearing" when Pam was trying to rescue him in the lake was going to be them trying to tie in his teleportation ability, making it so Jason was triggering it but was unable to control it yet.
>>223934967>Until this show it's been pretty universally understood that child Jason and adult killer Jason were roughly the same, intelligence-wise.No it hasn't. We've barely ever seen child Jason, and the most we ever hear of his intelligence was Pam saying "HE WAS...he wasn't a very good swimmer". Also, he clearly speaks in Jason Takes Manhattan. >Because they completely knock him on his ass as seen in the first episode and I imagine he can't exactly get his hands on prescription meds anymore like he could when he was with Pamela, so either drowning cured his seizures somehow or he's just gonna randomly die in the woods one day.Are you an expert on the side-effects of fictional sci-fi medical procedures? For all we know, all the meds do are expedite his recovery from the seizures, and he would have recovered on his own anyway, it would have just taken a little longer. Anyway, it's a little silly to get hung up on seizures when he walks off a gunshot to the head.
>>223934285>she’s a religious fanatic>yes, I only have one religion in mind, any other would be unthinkablelol
>>223933937Jason told her to kill them during the hallucination scene in the woods. Mrs. Voorhees then finished them off after she found Grace.
>>223942225As I said I'm flexible about the idea and I wouldn't want it to be used to make an anti-Christian point. I just think going from Christian to denouncing God when Jason doesn't come back to her would be a good character arc (similar moment to Coppola's Dracula denouncing God), and could fit with him being repressed which would explain him not returning. She's a blonde white woman with a Dutch surname in the 1970s; what other religion would you want her to be? Or do you want beloved horror icon Jason Voorhees to be Jewish? Anyway you could do it barely mentioning religion. But if it is contrasted with Jason becoming the ultimate evil it could be interpreted in a pro-Christian way. You could even have her teach him the "If I should die before I wake" prayer that the girl says in part VI as an easter egg.
>>223933900>>223930806I don't get how execs could be so dumb to not see appeal in the premise of "Old Man Jason"
>>223930329>every day since he was born, his mom bonked him on the head with a ball peen hammer saying it was a punishment from god. The constant bonking on his soft child head made hisbhead all lumpy and gross. Thus begins the orgin of jason.
>>223942912That honestly sounds like an awful idea lmaoIt somewhat worked with Michael Myers in the (for now) final Halloween film, but Michael Myers always had that "slightly supernatural deranged human being" character to him, whereas Jason is pretty much a slasher version of the Hulk, who also happens to be a zombie...so seeing that as an old man just sounds incredibly lame, not to mention it doesn't fit the concept at all
>>223942998He should (almost) always have the mask on, by a hideous monster underneath it, and be an immortal undead revenant almost like a force of nature, so his literal age should be unimportant.
>>223930329Did he just open a chest and discover a magic sword Zelda style? Wtf???
>>223943123He's a lonely kid who's into wilderness stuff and they're in the process of ordering a camping kit that had just come in the mail. He's excited, pulled the machete out of the box, and does some silly shit with it because that's what excited kids do. Then, two seconds later, Pam tells him that he looks like a crazy person and takes it from him.
>>223943204*in the process of opening a camping kit that had just come in the mail.
>>223934028>pussy bald like Caillou
>>223943204He asks her what it's for and she explains it's for clearing a path for himself and wiping out obstacles or something, lol
>>223933937well duh, he has cockroach dna dude, it makes perfect sense.
>>223943204I recognized the the reference and clapped during that scene.
>>223944016Yes, why would a franchise reference itself, that's just ridiculous. It's not like RLM (which you're regurgitating without seeing the irony in it) does with itself all the time. >OH MY GOOOOOOOD!>AIIIIIIIIIDS!>Nukie>Anybody want a Pizza Roll?>Shoot the Rodeo>VERY cool!And so on.
>>223930358A based black guy invented Mr. Peanut
>>223938653Just make Freddy black
>>223930329Stewie Griffin
>>223944068Because it's lame as fuck, dummy.
>>223944130Wow, that's some insight. You should be a professional reviewer.
>>223933937The irony of this unforced error:>Lots of people misunderstood the dream sequence in the first movie as real, meaning when Jason shows up as an adult in the next movie they thought he inexplicably aged really fast>For some reason they decided to make this misinterpretation canon by having Jason age super fast in the show (I guess so the whole thing can be set in the '70s without time skips).
>>223944165Got any more RLM quotes to share, Mr. movie buff?
>>223944201Way to completely miss the point of what I was getting at, genius.
>>223944195They're condensing the timeline because it would be a string of events being stretched out over the course of a couple of decades otherwise.
>>223934829Jason was always sympathetic imho while Freddy was always evil. Jason is the Frankenstein monter, a mocked and rejected child. Freddy is Dracula, a malevolent parasite.
>>223944210You must be possessed by Ebert's ghost.
>>223944256I'm not the one who fucking led in with a copy/pasted decade old Half in the Bag quote, accusing someone else of being unoriginal without any sort of self-awareness.
>>223944289No, I mean it. Very smart and clever observations. Red Letter Media! I keep clapping. Thanks, anon!
>>223943204Thanks for the explanation. It just looks silly out of context.
>>223930329He's literally me.
>>223932897It would not have been the same even if he was born 1946 like in the movies. Jason wasn't a scientifical test mutant and Pam never saw him alive after he drowned. ...unless you take Goes to Hell into count which implies Pam used the Necronomicon to revive Jason, although she could have done that and still not see him.
>>223946053Most fans consider the New Line Jason movies to be a completely different timeline. The first eight Paramount movies have the Friday the 13th title and the New Line ones are just 'Jason'.
>>223940385>No it hasn't. We've barely ever seen child Jason, and the most we ever hear of his intelligence was Pam saying "HE WAS...he wasn't a very good swimmer". Also, he clearly speaks in Jason Takes Manhattan.We've seen Jason get tricked by a woman wearing his mom's sweater. He's clearly a retard.
>>223946090Rights thing.
>>223946220Yeah, Paramount sold off the character of Jason but not the Friday the 13th brand name.
>>223940385>Also, he clearly speaks in Jason Takes Manhattan.He's also not deformed in that movie. It's not the most accurate sequel.
>>223934588Those were 80s goofy slashers meanwhile this new series is taking itself serious
>>223938653>>223944107
