I'm going to waste this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity by using all three of my wishes to try to impress a girl and release a magical being from his curse.
>I want clear skin>I want perfect teeth>I want an above-average sized dickAm I safe from monkey paw fuckery?
>>224218427Imagine thinkingthat all the riches in the worldand harems filled with countless nubile whoreswould fill the void in your soulthe same wayas a woman who truly loves you
>>224218470>as a woman who truly loves youShe only liked him because she thought he was a prince
>>224218427Oh yeah? Well, what would YOU have wished for then, Mr. Smarty pants??
>>224218461Dumbass.You have see through skin.You have perfect teeth, but in a bag, not in your mouth.You have a 10 meter cock.
>>224218461>I want clear skinIt's transparent>I want perfect teethYou are gifted some pristine dentures>I want an above-average sized dickIt's growing from your chin.
>>224218513>>224218514SHIT
>>224218484Exactly. That famous part of the story when she ghosted him forever after discovering he was actually poor.
>>224218461>1 You skin becomes transparent, the muscles and blood and sinews are all visable underneath.Good news is you got a job at the Medical University.>2. You get perfect teeth, for an orangutanHa ha should have specified the species>3 Again you should be specific with the species
>>224218500wish for more genies
>>224218500The ability to time-travel back and forth, at will.The ability to understand any language.The ability to see through lies and depictions.
>>224218500For all the politicians of the world to confess all their misdeeds to the publicTo be able to fall asleep at will and not wake up until I actually want to wake up. Or maybe just wish away the need to sleep at all.To be able to teleport around wherever I want
>>224218573Not a bad wish but Shantae is mine!!!>>224218577>lies and depictions>depictionsSo close, anon…
>>224218427I don't know. I think Jafar nailed it with that "most powerful sorcerer" wish.
>>224218639*deceptions
>I wish for infinite geniesI found the work around
>>224218633>mfw this is possibly Neil Breen
>>224218655You can't wish for more wishes. Genie said so
>>224218690Then I wish for a genie that will grant me infinite wishes.
>>224218653Decepticons?
>>224218427>i wish the abillity to influence every subatomic particles speed at will>i wish the abillity to influence every subatomic particles position at will>i wish for you to be free
>>224218573>>224218655Enjoy eternity in your lamp anon-jinns
>>224218427>For my first wish, I wish you free, Genie.
>>224218500Unironically world peace.
>>224218775It's like no one's ever seen the x-files/twilight zone. Hope you like solitude
>>224218775>Now the time is ripe
>>224218577>The ability to understand any language.the whole point of sex tourism is you don't have to listen to the woman for once, why ruin that?
>>224218857If I can time travel back in time, I would want to understand what they're saying
>>224218775every human dies
>>224218866"help" "stop it you disgusting fat pig" "no"
lmao Americans are never gonna make it
>>224218903>be happy living in a cardboard box and you will become a sultan in spiritAight
>>224218461Just add to each wish that whatever you wish for the exact same thing happens to the genie in the exact same manner if you're worried about the monkey's paw situation. If he wants to burn you alive for eternity because you asked for a hot cup of coffee then that happens to him too.
>>224218903"slavery should be abolished" - Not Epictetus
>>224218935There is literally nothing wrong with this unless you’re an insatiable and narcissistic foid.
>>224218935Yes.
>>224218500>Oh yeah? Well, what would YOU have wished for then, Mr. Smarty pants??I'd just have a conversation with Genie, offer him freedom as long as he gives me the occasional wish. He's an omnipotent being so it's not like it'd be a bother for him. Make it clear that it's not even an obligation on paper, it's just something he could do to be nice in return.Genie is a pretty cool guy, friendly, morally good, I don't see why he'd refuse.Congrats, I now have functionally infinite wishes, I just need to use them over a slower period of time compared to normal.
>>224218935What part of the quote is wrong? When you live humbly you will find joy in being humble.
>>224218963Uh oh amerimelty
>>224218427>Genie claims there are 3 rules >Can't wish to kill someone >Can't wish to bring people back from the death >Can't wish to make others fall in love with you >Can't wish for more than 3 wishes That's 4 rules, not 3, and even then you can just wish to be a sorcerer like Jafar did and grant your own wishes, that's basically a loophole to 2 rules as you can use your powers to kill others too
>>224218977You're Indian aren't you?
>>224219036Neither of your "loopholes" actually are. The infinite wishes clause is so that the genie doesn't become a forever slave to one person and the no killing clause only means you can't wish for the genie to kill someone; you have to do it yourself.
>>224218577>The ability to understand any language.You'll understand what the insects are saying and go insane. Nobody here has read this book.
>>224219184>Cricket>Oh, he's just repeating his name over and over
>>224218560Even so, he won her over on false pretenses. There is no situation where a beggar weds a princess without reality-breaking magic even if he’s the swarthiest barrel-chested oilmonkey in all of sandland.
>>224219235>Even so, he won her over on false pretenses.She knew who Aladdin was the moment he said "Do you trust me?" (a callback to the beginning of the movie) and demurred any attempts by Prince Ali to woo her before that invitation.Did you even watch the movie?
>>224218461If you find a genie, assemble a team of lawyers before you make any wishes
>>224218577>The ability to time-travel back and forth, at will.You will age accordingly.>The ability to understand any language.Your mind and body will change accordingly.>The ability to see through lies and depictions.You will become depressed and suicidal when you see the truth.
Why are you all treating the genie like a monkey's paw
>>224218748I didn't wish to BE a genie
>>224220246in many stories, they are
>>224218470You can't even imagine anything else worthwhile aside from the pursuit of romance other than money or sex. Pathetic imagination. You could seek knowledge beyond what anyone has ever known. You could seek the power to create anything freely. You could do so many things.
>>224220410>the cheeto stained fingers of a worthless shut-in typed thisWhat satisfaction would any of that knowledge bring?
>>224220592If you have to ask, then it may just be a kind of satisfaction that is genuinely beyond you. Sorry, anon.
just wish for omnipotence, then you can do whatever the fuck you want
I wish for a billion pound in my current countries currency in my bank account that I have full access to and spend If the genie does any fuckery to mess up my wish my second wish is for said genie to spend every waking second in the worst pain imaginable with a cactus constantly ass fucking him.After he has had a year or two of torment I release him and give him some time to be less mind broken and explain to him he better give me the perfect wish for me to make that will avoid any fuckery or my final wish will be for his suffering to continue forever
