100 anons on /v/ are transported to Ocarina of Time. Can we band together, defeat Ganon, and save Zelda?
>>724797253Forget Ganon. Some of us are going to have to protect the girls from the rest of us.
You can't post in this thread without a sword and shield!
>>724797253No, there's probably an even lower chance for this than SM64.
We can easily beat the Deku Tree. The only scary part is jumping into the web from high up, but it should slow us down to where we fall in the waterI'm not fighting Gohma, fuck spiders, but I'll cheer the rest of you on and then steal the Heart Container and leave
>>724797315Alright alright.. I'll do it. I'll watch over Malon. You can go uhh protect the dog lady or something
>>724797467The water at the bottom is too shallow to break your fall iirc, you'd shatter half the bones in your body and drown. The web is extremely flammable anyways so you wouldn't need to jump from the top, but you've need to make a rope out of something to lower people down the hole safely.
Uh you guys seem like you got this one. Good luck, I'm gonna go keep Saria warm
>>724797467we beat up the fattest anon and we throw him from up above while he's unconscious
We just need to develop the deku-spear phalanx and we'll be ok.
>>724797253It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon
I doubt there's any of us physically fit enough to grab and climb a ledge, let alone defeat a stalfos.
Wow. I really shouldn't stick my dick in there. However....if one of you guys hold it from the back....
>>724797253fish pussy
>>724797253>1 anon pulls the sword>assuming the other 99 of us haven't died already, we'd have to survive 7 years to catch up and still help outNah we're fucked.
>>724797785Ghoma deez nuts, bitch
>>724797986One of the anons' name is LinkBoom
>>724798072Nah see we all have to gather around and hold onto the sword togetherAt least one finger on the sword, we can get a ton of people up there!
>>724797707If adult Link does the jump he does indeed take a full heart of fall damage because the water is too shallow. Thus confirming that manchildren absolutely would break their legs from the fall.
>>724798116>run fails because his name wasn't Only Link
>>724797986You're full of shit, that's clearly a drawing of a fish
>>724797253We could probably get Dorf arrested
>>724798039Many will drown in Jabu Jabu's Belly and the Water Temple going for the wrong thing...
>>724798026We must do this... for Saria.
>>724797253100 people is more than the entire population of Hyrule...When Ganondorf tries to take over the kingdom, who exactly is he ruling over anyways? Like, the 6 people in Kakariko village and Lon Lon Ranch?
I volunteer to be the young Princess's body guardNo no, I insist! You guys go ahead and stop Ganon! I'll protect her...
>>724798072The Master Sword only kept Link in stasis for 7 years because he wasn't old enough to be the hero yet. We're adults, so presumably that wouldn't happen. Which also opens the door to us just taking the triforce before Ganon, but I highly doubt any of us is worthy enough for any piece of it.
>>724798108>swarm of anons defeat ghoma by repeatedly nutting on it whilst someone beats it with his deku stick
We can beat GohmaWe can MAYBE beat King Dodongo if we have a bunch of anons haul a bomb into his throat while he's busy chasing the othersWe are not beating Barinade....we are not beating anyone else eitherHonestly Morpha will probably try to rape us.
>>724798296>hfw 100 overweight adult men show up claiming to have the kokiri emerald
>>724798324>gooning with anonsLewd
I'm like 99% sure that among 100 nerdy anons at least some would know how to play the Ocarina
>>724798509>Castle goes on high alert when a couple dozen of fat ugly men all try to sneak into the castle wanting to see the princess >most of them have erections too
>>724798491Dodongo is a hard barrier like lethal lava land - heat convection from the lava pit in the middle would toast you, plus the chamber isn't ventilated so would be full of volcano vapors.
>>724797253Is Link still around or are 100 anons replacing him?
>>724798491You're assuming that any of us is going to have the body strength to climb the vines in the Deku Tree.
>>724798694We replace him BUT one guy is named Link to fulfill the " Only Link can defeat Ganon" memeSo above all else we also gotta make sure this guy is alive to deal the final blow
>>724797253>Can we band togetherHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno, you'd have better luck with a hundred cats.
>>724797707There's vines around the edge on one of the sides so you could climb down without a rope.
So can any of you guys build a bridge?
>>724798694Link has been BETRAYED and TRAPPED in the Sacred Realm and he breaks out in Fierce Deity form and kills Ganon in one hit to be the real final boss Akuma style.
>>724797253old /v/ could've done it. most of nu-/v/ can't even properly communicate with each other.
>>724797253This assumes we all have our individual heart meters. Do we also respawn? How does saving work? Do we all have to unanimously agree to save the game and risk contrarian trolls among us trying to enforce a no-save run?
>>724799036We can use anons like a bridge
>>724797253I make a mad dash for Zora's Domain, Gerudo Desert, and finally Lon Lon Ranch. You guys can save Zelda or whatever.
>>724799178We all have full hearts BUT they only refill when we best a dungeon, no respawning. Three saves in the whole game, majority has to agree before we do it.
ill solo the shit fk all of you, you can all go race the postman
>>724799178no saving and no health bar. Real life rules apply so if you die then you are fucking dead
>anon tries to use the hookshot>immediately dislocates his shoulder and gives himself whiplashThere's a bunch of stuff that requires superhuman strength to actually use as intended.
>>724799334>>724799362Man fuck you, I'm gonna be carrying a milk jug full of fairies the whole time.
>>724799307Sorry but I've closed Lon Lon ranch for security reasons. None of you are getting in here
>>724799352I'll grab his ankles while you runGO DO IT ANON
>>724799307Oh please, your fat ass can't swim low enough to get the bottle. I however, will handle Jabu. Don't worry, I'll take good care of the princess for you.
>>724799383Actually, yeah. Realistically the hookshot would just rip someone's arm off.
>>724799468>None of you are ge-ACK!Already got a horse earlier loser!!!!
>>72479725399% of /v/ wouldn't know what to do or where to go.
I'm literally gonna spend the whole time swimming in zora's domain while you guys fuck off elsewhere. I'm not letting a bunch of fat naked guys with erections violate my sacred space
Guys if we just don't open the fucking door in the temple of time then we win.Do NOT open that door you contrarian pieces of shit I know you're thinking about it.
>>724798694Some anon would rape Link
>>724797253i'm going to lon lon ranch to find the megaton hammer, that talon kept safe from ganondorf
>>724797315>Protect the girlsAAAAHAHAHAHAAH
>>724799629Sorry I was too busy putting the three emblems on the pedestal....don't open what now?
>>724797467Then you jump faggot
>>724799591Oh your sacred space is going to get violated alright.
>>724797467>we could beat up a 5 meter Gorilla SpiderPeople are retarded, Link only can do it because he has the Triforce. The gorons are a bunch of giant strong rock people and they cant defeat Dodongo
>>724799334>>724799362Sounds like a total disaster no matter what. I expect at least a few /v/ anons to be physically strong if they're also gym rats or /fit/izens, so they can do the fighting while the rest of us give moral support or distract all the enemies en masse. As the number of anons dwindle to our own stupidity and potential friendly fire sabotage, the remaining survivors will be able to band together easier. Or at least the living anons can split up the waifus appropriately so there's no conflict there. If only there were deadchat where fallen anons are forced to stick around as observing ghosts as a peanut gallery. Half of us continue to talk shit while the other half of us cheer the rest on
>>724799716His part of the triforce only makes him brave and smart, no?
>>724799713I'm only here for morale supportConsider me the Navi of the group Also I'm not gay, but if someone needs their dick sucked I'll do it if they're cute
So even if we don't open the door to time, how do we actually beat Ganondorf? That dude took on a fully-armored Hyrule Castle and won BEFORE he got his Triforce powers. Kid Link tried fighting him, and get blown the fuck out by Ganondorf's hand laser.I always figured Ganon in Ocarina functioned like Sauron Lord of the Rings. Where Sauron was going to take over middle earth anyway, but getting the ring would have guaranteed victory. Adult Link just cleans up the mess of a conquered Hyrule.
>>724799745I didn't even think about friendly fire>That one asshole who's going to secretly set off bombchus in the group and laugh when we all scatter as it kills someone and explodes
I am going to walk into Gerudo Fortress, by myself.Do not stop me, i know what i am doing.
>>724799629What if I clip through it?
>>724799745I think a hundred naked fat guys with erections could easily beat most things in oot
>>724799513Joke's on you fag I'm one of those skinny fucks, I wouldn't have the STRENGTH to swim that low....wait that doesn't really change anything. FUCK.
what the fuck is with all the ocarina threads? Did some youtuber make a video?
>>724799897There goes the bravest man you'll ever meet. Godspeed.
>>724799921Beat themselves maybe
>>724797253None of us are worthy of the master sword, so our best chance is to use mob strats and gang up on Ganondorf before he betrays the king. But because he's still trusted by the king at this point it means that 100 /v/tards need to break into the castle, force our way through the guards, and somehow kill a gigachad warrior-wizard at the end.
>>724799786that and hes the result of hundreds of years of legendary mystical fate bullshit genetics, meaning he can use his slingshot withouth shaking and shit. I wouldnt trust most soldiers, nevermind the people here to hit that spidereye in the 2-3 seconds its vulnerable with a rifle, nevermind a sling, due to shakey ass nervous hands. Also do heartpieces work on us? I feel like any of the bosses would kill us in one hit
>>724799975>being such a nufag he doesn't know about the "/v/ teleports into a Vidya game" threads
>>724799996i'm worthy
Wait, why are we all naked?!
Wait, can we pull off any speedrun strats or glitches?We might be able to get to Ganon in 5 minutes if we defy space and time
>>724799716Our ancestors killed megafauna by sharpening enough sticks, a wall of sharpened deku sticks covered by hail of literal flashbangs that are known to disorientate gohma would do the job.
>>724798297The Triforce of Courage is (You), the player. This is why the creators named the avatar "Link".The Triforce of Wisdom gives Zelda greater perception and magical powers; I cannot remember a single "wise" decision she ever made in the freanchise.The Triforce of Power is the stereotypical unga-bunga magic mcguffin that gives Ganon his super strength (yet he can still be soloed with a deku stick).You don't need to be particularly special to wield the Triforce. So long as you do not corrupt them with greedy desires, they will not bring anyone harm.
>>724800071that's so lame. i'd rather burn to death in the fire temple than cheat by skipping the whole game.
>>724800034What's wrong dude? Never seen a naked man before->tfw you realize there will be at least 8 or 9 female anons teleported in with usCan we all at LEAST agree not to do anything to them and only to the in game female characters....
>>724799996We just have to take control of the gatehouse and raise the drawbridge until we can convince everyone the 8 foot tall goblin monster that's literally an evil omen according to genuine historical record is actually a bad guy
>>724799998If we throw projectiles en masse, if enough of them hit Gohma's eye in time, we could win. It might cost a lot of lives to kill King Dodongo though>>724799996We can slip the guards and look their shit. I played SS13, I know how easily anybody can slip. Then if we have enough gear we could take on Ganon with our combined might
>>724799921How the hell are they going to beat Bongo Bongo, Barinade, Stalfos, Phantom Ganon, Volvagia, Darknuts, Morpha, Dark Link, Twinrova, or the giant club Moblin?
OH FUCK YEAH BITCHES I GET TO BE A LITTLE GNOME
>>724800071>Do wrong warp to Ganon immediately>DieNot sure what the plan was there.
>>724800201>at least 8 or 9 female anonsSorry I'm not into trannies.
Should I take out the happy mask salesman and prevent majora's mask?
>>724797798I laughed
>>724800281What if some madman succeeds in a crazy doujin strategy of absorbing or merging with Morpha or gaining them as a surprise ally?
someone's gonna break the lens of truth immediately, i just know it. we're gonna lose like, 20 anons trying to jump to the invisible moving platform in the shadow temple.
>>724800348Hey wait, couldn't one of us just rob him, take Majora's Mask and beat Ganondorf with with? That retard got robbed by a Skull kid, so he's easy prey.
>>724800281Good point, I feel like by at the time we've completed the third dungeon, there will only be a crew of about 10 reliable anons left. But I do think it'll be possible to overcome all those bosses with proper planning and strategy.
>>724800459Not my problem. I can do wasteland without it and backwards.
NOBODY KILL HER! SHE'S INNOCENT
So uhh, we only have one water tunic. Who's going to do the Water Temple?...he's been there awfully long.
>>724800027>being such a blind retard you don't notice the 2+ ocarina threads every single dayyou can vary up your strategy but there's no way people won't notice.
>>724800239> It might cost a lot of lives to kill King Dodongo thoughSee and thats where I see things falling apart. Yes, theorethically if we all act as a unit of suicidal maniacs we easily can overwhelm most enemies in the game and gain skills as we advance (those that survive)But I also think the gorons could have done that but they pissed their loincloths. And the same would happen to a gaggle of /v/irgins the moment the first guy gets his dick eaten by a sentient plant.
Remember we won't have guardian fairies to protect us from the forest magic, so half of the anons in this thread are going to take a wrong turn in the lost woods looking for Saria pussy, and instead of getting warped out will just be stuck as a Stalfos forever.
>>724800459Just let the monsterfuckers and Look Outsidefags charm Dead Hands for an infinite supply
>>724800531don't worry i have a hole to keep her safe in
I assume the red and blue tunics are literally magic and will prevent you from immediately dying to extreme heat / drowning respectively? If so then king dong's room isn't the instakill it otherwise would be but there's only one red tunic.
>>724800550you can just buy more
>>724800459and how do you expect everyone to bypass the haunted wasteland?
>>724800550I'm a good swimmer.But if we unfreeze the Zora shop, we just buy infinite water tunics. Same for the Goron tunic talk to Goro-Link to open the shop in Goron City, they're unlimited. That'd actually be the easiest part of the run.
>>724800195You cheat it by burning to death though.
>>724800550Sorry I spent 72 hours looking for a small key and had to fight black peter pan
>>724800459Also easy, we could do an Indiana Jones and throw dirt on the platforms to see where they are.
How many NPCs can we murder and loot without raising suspicion? The spider-house is a freebie. Bean guy?
>>724800612>If so then king dong's room isn't the instakill it otherwise would be but there's only one red tunic.You wouldn't need the Goron Tunic for KD's room anyway that is if you somehow survive the drop into it.
>>724799821>how do we actually beat Ganondorf?I have formulated several possible strategies.>invite him to a banquet at Hyrule Castle, stuff him full of food like he's at grandma's house, keep the wine flowing freely, and then kill him while he's fershnickered and in a food coma>move the Spiritual Stones to a secure location, leak an entirely fake location to Ganondorf's forces and rig the place with enough bombs to make the Golden Goddesses shit themselves, set to go off when G-Dizzy shows up>use our meta knowledge to point out to Bacon Bits how pointless his schemes are gonna be in the long run and that he's honestly better off just giving up on ruling Hyrule and going home to watch Netflix or something>open the Door of Time, set up a tripwire that triggers an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine to kill Ganondaddy when he walks in, and wait>keep spelling his name with two Ns in the middle until he has a rage-induced aneurysm and drops dead
GUYSI JUST SAW BEN
>>724800612The tunics are sold in shops and can normally be repurchased as often as you lose them. The only problem is they cost 200 rupees and we legally cannot carry more than 99 unless we have an adult wallet.
>>724800681You're not wrong, you literally have to burn to death to skip to the top of Fire Temple.
>>724800780considering those hylian fucks have a guantanamo below Kakariko I wouldn't risk a sentence
>>724800865But we're adults, so we'll have adult wallets.
>>724800742>be the scrawniest dyel manlet of the them all>"ok guys I'll go in first and when my shadow pops up you come in and beat the fuck out of him"
>>724800675imagine grinding the 49500 rupees needed to get every anon one of each though. (the price of the freebies is excluded)
>>724800858Wrong game asshole.
>>724798232>>724798242Ganon wouldnt be the main villain if anons shows up
>>724800927Ocarina gives away so much money practically everything after Zelda's letter is free anyway. Just run in and out of the castle storehouse and smash the respawning pots.
>>724798242Guys… I accidentally raped and deflowered and despoiled the 9 year old princess of hyrule when I snuck into the castle. I’m headed for execution now. This is goodbye… Ganon won…
>>724800908>so we'll have adult wallets.Is this ----ing wallet ----ing adult enough for you, you ----ing ----er?
>>724800956>Swear loyalty to Ganondorf>Chill in his sweet fortress, riding horses, doing archery and fucking his endless haremOh but I'm sure the rest of you are having a great time, uh, being digested by Jabu Jabu lol
>>724800795I mean it's an encloses space with a giant lava pit in the middle, you may not need heat protection in the game but if we're playing IRL rules then it would be like stepping into an airfryer.
>>724800902Not only a guantanamo but also a entire royal secret service. Im not getting sent to the torture well by Eurojapanese elf ninjas
>>724801097It doesn't look like it would hold massive gems very well.
>>724800927All you would have to do is kill a Skullkid for a huge 200 rupee. There are a lot of ways to grind for your own tunic that anybody could do it for their own.
>>724801123you can walk on it, it just hurts you, so it's not lava, just hot rocks.
>>724800858Don't worry anon, it's just me... just continue doing what you were doing hehe
>>724801163Why do people keep forgetting about guardian fairy rules for Lost woods? You have to know EXACTLY what you're doing there, or you get fucked like the Cucoo guy
>>724801123Either way, you're not living the fall into the room.
>>724801157Well, as long as I've got my potato, I'll be fine. Just don't ask me to help with the Fire Temple. I wasn't born to fry!
>>724799897Hue.Godspeed anon.
>>724801257Well I do know but there's still other ways to farm so get your bottles ready to catch some bugs to sell.
>>724801218Damnit, Ben, you're lost again! Termina's in the next universe over! Just sit tight and wait, we'll be ready for you when we've sorted shit out in Hyrule.
I thought King Dodongo doesn't actually have the spiritual stone, but Darunia does. He just gives it to you for killing King Dodongo. In fact, none of the child bosses are strictly needed to kill, only the adult ones are.
>>724801163having people grind for their own tunics makes sense, but that opens the door to people splitting off from the group instead of staying as one unit, which could cause problems witth communication.
Guys, I don't feel good. The water tastes like King Zora's ass and balls.
couldn't everyone just stock up on fairies to be unkillable?
>>724798232The tentacles that hang from the ceilijg in JabuJabu. The anon who SAID he knows how to use a boomarang misses, gets is stuck high in a wall, and everyone dies.
>>724801419Look, just be glad we're not doing this shit in BotW/TotK Hyrule, everything is way more expensive there and Rupees are harder to find. Also it's a lot easier to get yourself killed.
>>724801419>what are you guys doing>trying to get the hookshot so we can do the forest temple>we already got the forest medallion, i'm looking for the fag who ran off with the megaton hammer without finishing the fire temple so we can actually complete it
>>724801408We can't kill him or Ruto since they're needed for the second half but they're both pretty stupid so we just need to find them and trick them.Or, hear me out. When Ganondorf pops up at the gates of Hyrule we can just ambush him, stopping his plans and winning the game.
>>724800320We can beat him with the power of FRIENDSHIP
>>724801726I say we rig the drawbridge with Bombs, so right after Zelda runs across, we blow it up so that Ganon falls into the moat. Then we jump him.
Do each of us get our own flying onah-I mean fairy?
>>724801726>so we just need to find them and trick them.Why trick them? You don't need to lie to people if you can get what you want by playing it straight.
>>724800459They're gonna wear it and give out awful directions>"Okay Anon, 30 degrees to your starborn there's a platform there! Jump now!"
>>724800606
>>724798491>dins fire will hurt morphas tentaclesWe can probably win against the single cell by just spamming explosions.
>>724801591BOTW would actually be way easier with all of the ways you can bullshit that game, even without Link's Spiderman-level climbing ability. We'd be fucked with TOTK though, none of us are leaving the great sky island alive.
>>724801832yknow what, reasonable. They give bombs in hyrule to literall children to play arcade games with. Im sure we have ONE good looking autist that can distract/fuck the bomb-minigame lady while the others grab a few couple of those crank up bomb things
Honestly bombs would be incredibly dangerous. Imagine lugging around a sack of short-fuse TNT.
>>724800939>One of the anons goes into the Lost Woods and ends up in Termina
>>724801665The hope is that the first three dungeons cull off the useless anons so that we're left with several small squads of competent organized anons for the late game. That's literally our only hope. That way we could divide the adult link dungeons up between us so anons would only have to attempt one adult link dungeon on average vs doing all of them.
>>724800201>female anonsThat's how you know the anon pool wasn't limited to /v/ and if someone isn't from /k/ we're screwed since they don't know weapons or have meta knowledge of oot.
>>724801013Princess Zelda we are not affiliated with him.
>>724801853We're not good people anon
>>724801848Nope, because we all know they would be raped
Ok so sneak attack on big G is the most viable option.
*ywnbam intensifies*
>>724797253for a second I thought this said the gamer word haha
Maybe if we beat the child Dungeons, Rauru looks us away in the spiritual time chamber to give us jacked bodies seven years later. The hardest part of this quest is that we're all unhealthy nerds.
WE HAVE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR OVER TWO MONTHSAND WE HAVE ONLY MADE PROGRESS ON ONE DAMN TEMPLEFOR THE LAST TIME, PLEASE, STOP RAPING EVERY FEMALE WE MEET AND LET'S GO SAVE HYRULE
>>724802136Fuck, I can't unsee it.
>>724802129We'll be branded traitors by the Hyrulians for attacking their ally. We'll need to find a good hiding region once the two kingdoms hunt us.
>>724802040Tell that to yourself. I'm gonna make it to the end helping everyone!
>>724802040Yes, but that doesn't mean we can't be pragmatic.
>>724802129>90% of anons rally around the ganondorf sneak attack option>headlines the next day>90 naked fat sweaty guys with erections found floating dead in hyrule's moat. Authorities puzzled>only 10 anons left for the entire adult link section of game
I'm getting that giantess Great Fairy pussy for sure.
The first thing I'm doing is destroying Gerudo Bridge. Because I know you all lack the will and fortitude to resist.You'll thank me for this someday.Hm? Why did I destroy the bridge on the side to their fortress. Because I'll handle them all myself. I'll defeat their wombs- I MEAN woman warriors! ....see ya!
>>724802163Do you really want to be stuck in a hyperbolic time chamber with like 100 other anons for 7 years? Because that's what'll happen in that scenario
Could a male fairy impregnante a human woman? Or an elf woman? I'm not saying I wanna see it I'm just saying I'd be curious to see it because I wonder if it'd work and if so how would the pregnnantcy go? Would the woman be pregneg for the same amount of time? Would it show? Would she give birth to a normal human sized child or a little fairy? I'd like to see it happen and also assuming it could be done the sperm would have to penetrate into her womb so could a fairy cum hard enough for it to travel through the vagina and into the womb? Maybe if he's small enough he can get in and guide it? I think I wanna see that
EH RE
>>724797707>>724798170We could do a canonball
>>724802457I don't think I could vibe too easily with that strange funkish forest feel after a dozen of us get eaten alive by plants
>>724802447We'll all be asleep, and Rauru will wake us up.Really it's whether or not you trust Rauru not to punch your balls or anything while you're comatose.
>Travel 7 years into the future>Every anon is dead
>>724802454Haha.. imagine
At the very least I trust that none of us would try to fuck the Redeads....Surely....we aren't THAT depraved?
>>724802620Listen - Step fucking 1 is murdering everyone at the Lon Lon Ranch. We'll get1. A defensible fortress2. Food and water from the animals3. At least 7 horses to form a cavalry squadron with4. We prevent that god-forsaken Ingo race in the future that will filter everyone on /v/
Malon is going to get turbo raped
>>724802698anon, the truest marker of humanity is having the drive to fuck anything, even if it's deformed, even if it's not human, even if it's inorganic, even if it has no genitalia ... we will fuck itsomeone out there will fuck the redeads
>>724802584How about one anon travels seven years into the future, and the rest of us just chill at lake hylia? I think that's the best scenario because it's fairly safe, has farmland, fishing, and no women for us to fight and kill each other over.
>>724801097An impressive linguistic feat.
>>724802129He's already on the Goron's shit list, maybe you could convince Darunia to set a trap under the pretense of handing over the goron ruby so we don't have to risk our asses in the dungeons.
>>724802864But the TektitesAnd crows
I want to hang out with the fishing pond guy. He's a chill dude.
>>724802698I've already coomed in several by playing the sun's song
>>724802982A Tektite looks really fun to ride on. You just sit on their back, and you go jumping around. Wheeeeee!
What will the course of the run be? How many anons will make it alive from dungeon to dungeon?
I say we not only defeat Ganon, but establish ourselves an empire and rule over Hyrule with an iron fist.We kill everyone who disagrees! THIS IS OUR KINGDOM! THE KINGDOM OF /V/RULE!!!!!ALL WILL SUBMIT!what's the worst that could happen?
>>724802996Idk man I think he's got fleas or something.
>>724803078An anon brings up skub. Everybody divides into pro-skub and anti-skub sides and the blood will spill
GET OUT OF MY WINDMILL
>>724803078>THIS IS OUR KINGDOM! THE KINGDO-*GLUB GLUB GLUB*
>>724803173STOP PLAYING THAT DAMN MUSIC FIRST
>>724803184No anon, this is the tiemline where Ganon isn't killed but tied up and assraped for all eternityWorst that could happen is Twili invasion
>>724803184The conspiracy theorists that hoarded Zora tunics had to have laughed their asses off when this happened. They get underwater Hyrule all to themselves.
>>724803172>anti-skubLmao what? I thought that was just a meme nobody is really stupid enough to be anti-skub irl right well be fine
>>724803258If there's any Twili girls at all that are like Real Midna, I think things will be just fine
>>724803258So you're saying, if I let myself get stabbed by those twili scum, I'll have a chance to live and see Midna!!!
>>724803258I CALL DIBS ON MIDNAI WILL DIE FOR THIS
I feel like we could recruit Dampé. He's one of us-coded.
>>724803326>>724803172Don't be stupid, everyone here is obviously against that skub nonsense.
>>724803390To what end?
I'm pretty tall I might be able to take him in a fight if he's like normal Japanese man- sized>Official height: 7'6"nvm lol
>>724803498Sounds like a good ally
>>724797334
Leave Ganondork to me
do every single one of us get the dungeon's weapons? every single oot boss is "easy" once you have the right weapon you need to kill its boss. if anything, what i feel would be the biggest hurdle to overcome is that every boss room is way too tiny to even accommodate 100 anons, which would mean we would need to do the fights in small groups to even fit in the arenas.
Honestly I don't think anons even make it to the Deku Tree. No one would be skinny enough to crawl through the hole to get the Kokiri's Sword to begin with. And obviously no one is getting past Mido without the sword so all the anons are stuck in Kokiri Forest until Hyrule falls to Ganon
So, let's say our planning works. We take the safest route, by collecting the spiritual stones, rigging the bridge with bombs, triggering the cutscene when the trap is placed, blow up the bridge right after Zelda crosses it, and Ganondorf's horse falls into the moat and breaks it legs.So now what? How do you expect 100 of us to take this 7 foot 7 giga jacked warlord with Gerudo magic? We won't have the Master Sword, we won't have Light arrows or the bow, and we won't have the Biggoron's sword. Keep in mind, Link got completely incapacitated by a single hand blast from him.
>>724803442Early hookshot, unlimited graverobbing idk.
>>724803779Mido is a little kid, any one of us can beat his ass. Some shitty Deku babas and Mad scrubs conquered Kokiri village, those twerps are helpless.
>>724803442Urethra! We can have Dampé dig a tunnel leading straight from Death Mountain to Ganon's house, to redirect the flow of lava!
>only like 10 anons aren't morbidly obese and/or autisticI dont like these chances
>all these retards assuming they would actually complete the adventure or have a chance with Zelda girls>when realistically you'd all spend 99% of your time locked in some endless gay rhetoric filled debate over which Zelda game is the best after you get tired from 20 seconds of trying to waddle your fat ass across Hyrule Field>thinking Zelda girls wouldn't run away screaming at the sight of your obese balding 40 year old asses
>>724803810Well it's that or the giga-nigga-9000 version on the right.
I'm fairly certain we can circumvent most of the trials Link faced because we are not one half stunned little boy, but a fellowship of gentlemen with prophetic knowledge of the situation. If Link was able to go back and convince the king of Ganon's plot, then surely we could. Ganondorf would be foiled and the King would reward us with the Gerudo's fortress and all the concubines we care to house and feed.
>>724803959If we got to him we'd have light arrows, the mirror shield, and at least one overpowered sword. The adult dungeons and bosses are a bigger threat then him.
>>724799821>That dude took on a fully-armored Hyrule Castle and won BEFORE he got his Triforce powers.No, he had warriors with him. If you talk to the dying guard in the back alley:>Ganondorf, the Gerudo King of Thieves, betrayed our King... Zelda's nanny, Impa, sensed danger and escaped from the castle with our Princess... I tried to stop Ganondorf's men from chasing them... but...The composer ghost also says:>Oh, what? You're not one of Ganondorf's men, are you? Because of my role as a ghost, I had to act like that. I apologize.We never see these men, but they are presumably the fellow thieves that broke into the sacred realm mentioned in aLttP that transformed into monsters.
>get transported with 99 other random anonsSo you find yourself suddenly surrounded by 18-24 year old third worlders that don't play videogames who only speak enough English to scream slurs at you?
>>724803895Do you honestly think the Kokiri and the Deku Tree would willingly help you after you beat up the village leader? I don't think so.
Fuck it's Night Time. Run for the Castle
>>724804109Light the deku tree on fire. His ass is already falling apart.
>>724803940Im in my 20s, physically fit, able to masquerade as normalfag socially, and I've got a winners mindset. I WILL fuck ruto's fish pussy
>>724803810It's very simple: he has two testicles, and we have two hundred feet. Need I say more?
We need a femboy anon to offer BJs for a steady supply of rupees and also to buy any useful items offered to him. Any voulenteers?
>>724804175Then you don't get the emerald, therefore it's back to being doomed
>>724804176>Im in my 20sPermaban zoomers.
>>724804179He's wearing a leather dick protector, bro. He already planned for that.
>>724804047Iwell you said it yourself, I think you're exposing yourself to more danger trying to do all the temples than just taking a shot at the big man early on.
>>724804251calm down grandpa or I will have the retirement home turn off the router again
>>724800531Does everybody share the same Navi? Someone is going go get jealous and kill her
>>724804221If the emerald is destroyed then Ganon's quest is doomed. If not, we can sift through the ashes.We must betray the tree. We have been trained for this.
Since we start in young Link's timeline, does that mean we'll turn into old men? I'm already a wizard.
>>724803810>get everyone to poop together in the ice caverns>mold collected anon poop into a rough sword shape>wait for it to freeze solid>beat Ganondorf to death with a giant septic scimitarlike 3/4ths of /v/ is Indians so this should be easy
>>724803810If everyone hits him with the Deku Stick once, we might have a chance.
>>724804384I'm 28, so I'd just gain wizardhood. Beating Ganongdorf in the young Link timeline is safer, anyway.
>>724804430Don't they use rupees in India? Maybe we can just hire mercs with the money Indianons bring with them.
>>724804430>septic scimitarA fecal falchion, as it were.
There's like 3 guards in the entire game, pretty sure we can take over Hyrule ourselves.
>>724803779consider mido's method for blocking your path. he sidesteps in front of you. there's ample space to get past him, he's just faster than you, so it's impossible to take advantage of this in game. but if there were 100 of us, (or even just 2) it would be impossible for mido to stop all of us.
>>724804262It's just fuckin' leather, put your Iron Boots on.
>Hyrule authorities are baffled today and requesting aid from neighboring kingdoms in discovering the whereabout of Princess Zelda after a bizarre raid from what can only be described as "overweight foreign mercenaries carrying vast quantities of noodles in their pockets" who assaulted the castle in a determined effort to kidnap her
>>724804576a rectal rapier, even
>>724804627Great idea, now we can barely move our fucking legs let along kick before he dodges out of the way
>>724804585No wait. We get the Triforce and wish to smash every version of Hyrule and every other country together, and make our own Zelda Battleworld. Then we can each claim a domain for ourselves.
>>724804597Now I have the mental image of Mido getting the absolute fucking shit beaten out of him by 99 fatasses in Hatsune Miku shirts and cargo shorts and one carrying Saria off
>>724804576Coprophilic claymore!?
Hey, what if we all just enlisted as Hyrulian soldiers? Then we'd have armor, training, and weapons, so then we could just take on Ganondorf as soldiers right when he invades Hyrule castle. The guys they hired before were retards, they couldn't even detect Link sneak in. We would be smarter and plan ahead for him.
>>724804785>implying the first anon who touches won't just immediately wish for a harem of Gerudo women
I'm really just looking forward to hanging out and being friends with you all in my favorite videogame land. Aside from the adventuring, I'm sure we'd make all kinds of fun memories swimming naked in zora's domain, or nudely dancing with the gorons, or wandering around the lost woods in the buff. I just think the friendship would be the most special part of the experience.
Link is literally a child for half the game; I would be ashamed to not be able to complete that even just on my own.Second half is a bit tougher but give me enough magical shit and I'll pull through.
>>724797253if a kid with a shitty sword and sticks can do it why can't we?
>>724799821>I always figured Ganon in Ocarina functioned like Sauron Lord of the Rings. Where Sauron was going to take over middle earth anyway, but getting the ring would have guaranteed victory. It's definitely not like that. He was trying to do everything in an underhanded way for a reason.Zelda also admits in the final sequence that everything was her fault. One of the big themes of the game in the stages of life. Link and Zelda tried to be adults when they were children and screwed everything up.She also calls Ganondorf a pitiful man after he "dies", and not in a mocking way, but in a sympathetic way.She is wise at this point in time, and understands that things didn't have to be this way.Ganondorf was always going to be a backstabber, though, even if the opportunity never presented itself.
>>724804718Nigga did I just catch you skippin' leg day?!?!!
>>724804838>Link rushing to the Temple of Time trying to step over 100 obese guard corpses
>>724804865I think all the burgers would just collectively want their foreskins back
>>724804597But again, the Deku Tree and Kokiri wouldn't be willing to help you if you acost the village leader. You HAVE to abide by Mido's requirements in order to get the Emerald. There's no way to force the Deku Tree to give you the Emerald since he just materializes it out of thin air. He'd die before giving you the emerald without cooperation with the Kokiri.
>>724804838He only storms the castle after getting the triforce of power, which doesn't happen if we don't open the door. Basically don't open the fucking door guys you really want to buff G-man before taking him on?
Implying we'd try to save Hyrule.The girls would be brutally raped until the Hyrule Guard kills us all.
>>724799716Doesn't link get the triforce of courage only after he becomes adult?
>>724804865Okay, fuck it, I'll make the wish myself and become God Emperor, and the rest of you can be my Barons. Or maybe you can be my Links, that would be the logical replacement for Thors.
>>724805008Well then I'll climb over the wall that's next to the Kokiri sword. It's not that high anyway, I'm a 6'5" skelly.
Well seeing as death is all but certain I'm just going to go find a secret grotto and live off bugs for the rest of my daysOf course I'll trap the entrance if anyone thinks of following me
>>724804884You forget about the 99 other guys with you. The number will probably be inevitably less once most of us die in the Lost Woods, die to hazards in the Deku Tree, die to Gohma, etc. on the way there
>>724797253He would fly up in the air, do this and we would all die immediately
We draw straws, 5 anons leave their rupees behind and go inIf you're not back in 2 days we send the next group
>>724798767If the guy dies we just call another anon Link
>>724798296It's certain death anon, don't let your dick kill you!
>>724797315Dibs on richard owner.
>>724805141But what if? >>724803678
>>724805114>YOU VILL EAT ZE BUGS AND LIVE IN ZE GROTTO
>>724805214I dont think you can reflect the big one
>>724805270You can with a spin attack
>>724805016Actually I totally forgot that the only reason Link gets trapped in the sacred realm is because he's not old enough to wield the triforce. If one of us opened the door we might actually be able to get to the triforce before Ganondorf without being cucked into stasis first.
>>724805114Wouldn't an anon that smuggled a vibrator up their ass just be able to find your grotto? They could open it back up again with a bomb, or by whistling the song of storms.
>>724805073Oh and the first person to complain about this is volunteering to be Baron of the CD-i domain, so think before you speak, punkass.
>>724803940i personally would run off to gerudo valley, challenge one of the girls to a fight, lose, then get incarcerated.i would get free food, a roof on my head, all the time in the world to romance the prison guards, and i would be free from ganon's wrath (he didnt really do much to the gerudos after the time skip)basically, what if i was one of the carpenters locked down in gerudo fortress but wasnt a pussy.
>>724805124>once most of us dieYou're not coming anon. You are not cool enough.
We did play OOT multiplayer on /v/ a few months back. Though mostly we just killed each other.
Is Water Temple even doable as a normal human?
>>724805340Master Sword wouldn't come out of the pedestal for anyone but Link
>>724805501Zora tunic, nigga.
>>724805454I have to try this. I had it set up once but never got around to getting a group together.
I'll be the guy to take one for the team and pump ruto full of fish babies. It's a tough job but someone has to do it.
>>724805518You forget: a sword in a stone is just a really big hammer.
>>724803627NOOOO REEEE I'M TELLING GREAT DEKU TREE
>10 minutes in>50% of anons just stay in the forest arguing over shit while creeping on kokiri>20% are off looking to fuck something>5% die immediately in the deku tree hole>last 25% die down there because anon's fat belly got stuck in the first crawlspace
>>724804109We could rape him and force him to keep quiet and let us through
>>724805547Any 60 foot hookshot gap would kill you if you manage to hold onto it. Imagine the first time you fire the hookshot and it just gets ripped out of your hand and stuck in the ceiling.
>>724805575There are always anons around if you make a thread.
>>724797253>oh fuck>It's over>AAIIIEEEE>F>The west has fallen>I warned you all about these hook nosed ninjas>F>F>ANONS HELP>S>DO NOT REDEEM>HAPPENING>[sad news]: total party wipe
>>724804870Based wholesome anon
>>724805597until you realize she's a fish and the "mating" consists of jerking off onto a clutch of eggs while an old fish doctor observes.
>>724805702I will kill the running man in a secluded area of the map. I will don his dressing and begin to run across Hyrule. None will know. Anons will ignore me since I'm an irrelevant NPC, the NPCs can't react to this drastic change, but I'll be him.
>>724805715I really, really like this plan
If Nintendo was cool, they'd greenlight this as an adult swim miniseries, and do it for all of their biggest games. Show which ones would be possible, and which ones aren't.
Anons instantly fail right here, they wouldn't fit
>>724805715For the last time /v/ WE CAN'T KEEP SOLVING ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN OOT WITH RAPE
>>724798296>T. Soldier found dead in the back alley of Hyrule city
>>724805896You know who would fit? YOUR MOM
>>724797253OoT Multiplayer time?
>half of the anons die fighting each other over who gets to fuck the kokiri, the winner is then killed by Mido for being a pest>30 die poisoned after trying to fuck the deku scrubs and deku babas>15 get starve to death in the lost woods because they wanted to speedrun the game and beat the forest temple early>the remaining 5 die trying to complete the deku tree's dungeon
>>724805931Navi? Rape.Saria? Rape.Midodri? Rape.Deku Tree? Murder.Owl? Rape.Malon? Rape.Zelda? Rape.Impa? Rape.Guard in front of death mountain? Chill dude, just talk about vidya until he lets us past.Darunia? Rape.King Zora? Rape.Jabu Jabu? Vore.Ruto? Rape.Ganon? Rape.It is a fool-proof plan.
>>724801102Ganondorf is only going to allow that if you're useful, and since you're posting on /v/...enjoy being a redead.
>>724804870Why do all your suggestions always involve getting naked dude.
>>724804597>it would be impossible for mido to stop all of usBut that means that someone would have to stay behindI don't trust the rest of you freaks, I volunteer. I won't become a stalfos as long as I don't enter the lost woods right? Well this is probably as peaceful of an existence that I could hope for. Sure they'd be trickster jerks to me, but they probably wouldn't let me starve and I can help out with manual labor around the village being taller and stronger.
We either arrive stark naked or some lucky paranoid schizo is going to arrive with his concealed carry gunThere is no inbetween
>tfw the Hyrule Town dungeons are filled with 100 sweaty nerds that tried to sneak into the castle to meet an underage Zelda
>>724806339I sometimes forget most of us are grownups
>>724806339>Wins by just shooting everybody in the fucking headThe British strategy, I like it. Better hope you have at least 20 rounds though.
>>724806339Better yet, 3 of us are bound to be glowies
>>724805896It's a 15 foot wall, it can easily be climbed over
>>724806157The second you try to rape Navi Deku Tree summons satalfos to kill youYou lost
>>724805501If you hadn't skimped on your Blitzball training this wouldn't be an issue
The problem with this scenario is you are assuming 100 people are working together towards the same goal of defeating Ganon. From this thread, it looks like you have at best 15/100 anons who would take the task seriously, which I dont think is enough. The others are fucking around (sometimes literally).Some anons are even malicious, breaking shit required for the run. I dont think its going to happen, chief.
>>724799921Game is decomp'd with all tools necessary available.Do it.
>>724807098I'm OK with killing Ganon but there's no way I'm returning to IRL instead of just living in Hyrule
>>724800201No, we can't.
>>724806298I just assumed the average anon would go around naked
>>724801587We could just fashion another boomerang, they aren't hard to make
>>724806298Just be glad we're not doing this in Super Mario 64...
>>724800550We let the weakest, most pathetic of us enter dark link's room.We only enter after the enemy spawns.
>>724807171Well when Ganon dies, Hyrule celebrates and has a pretty sweet party at the ranch. Complete with cool multicolored fire, and Gerudo dancer sluts. So the horndogs have incentive to cooperate, maybe they'd get with a drunken cutie. First guy that rapes just gets thrown in the shadow temple to be tortured to death, so it should scare some cooperation into them.
Fuck the dungeons, we don't win by opening the sacred realm, we win by murdering or exposing Ganon.No link = no hero of time = master sword stays out = sacred realm stays closed. G's not getting his hands on the triforce in our run full stop.
>>724806736Rape
>>724807284>Fist grows to the size of a car and punches an anon's torso clean off
How do we account for shit like the fire and water temple. there's NO WAY Gorons/Zoras are going to foot the bill for 100 goron/zora tunics.Not to mention the boots. If the one guy we choose fucks up and eats shit into a hole, then its over.Realistically only one anon, armed with the tools to do so, could make the one (1) attempt we get at the dungeons.
>>724807284Fygoon art style
OH NO LINK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>Betray Ganon? Yeah sure, what are you planning to do to him?>>>By the Godesses
Hyrule Field is legitimately an entire day's worth of walking. You better hope to god you make it somewhere safe for the night before the stalchildren arrive and the more you rest, the more time you're wasting.I think that's too much physical activity for most anons right there
>>724797253No man, none of us can wield the master sword.
>>724807434You don't have to do anything in the order the game sets out, if theres an area that needs an item to get to but is otherwise behind a 2m fence/wall theres nothing stopping 100 morbidly obese men from dogpiling until someone can climb it
>>724807512>Not to mention the boots. If the one guy we choose fucks up and eats shit into a hole, then its over.Iron isn't even neccessary, we can just swim downwards. It's honestly more of a liability and I don't think anyone could walk in those.Hover, well we could maybe build bridges
>>724806907Not a single one of us 100 would survive FFX, forget about it
>>724807697I can, I'm the chosen one, I'm worthy, and I'm going to be the one to save the day. Just stand back and let me do my thing. I'll have you all back to the real world in no time.
>>724807434Wonder how hard would it be to get Dorf jailed before he can pull any moves. 100 anons giving false testimony of his misdeeds should do the trick
>>724807697Read the thread, one of us 100 will be named "Link" and the Master Sword will answer to him.
>>724807683The "days" last for 2 minutes, we'll be fine. Just take a pit stop at Zora river halfway through if you're scared.
>>724807841FFX has guns while your top damagedealer is tossing a basketball around.
>>724807897You assume some of us won't try to cockblock or sabotage the rest? You thik for every 3 anons that go for framing Ganon there won't be 1 anon playing at Ace Attorney and doing their best to discredit us?
>>724808112Look as much as I'd like discussing this, we're getting sidetracked. Bottom line is the average anon is not good enough at swimming much less Blitzballin enough to take on Water Temple legitimately
>>724808126Hmm, well that works out to, let's seeTwo anons to hold them and one anon to hit them apiece.
Will we have to send a femboy or tranny to infiltrate Gerudo's fortress to assassinate Ganondorf if men aren't allowed there?
>>724808061>days in Hyrule last 2 minutes>meaning a Hyrule year lasts 670 minutes>therefore Link's seven year stasis would actually last a little over 78 hours
>>724808209Zora tunic. Come on.
>That anon that wrong warps to the credits 5 minutes into the run while everyone is arguing about who gets to fuck Malon
>>724806529>3 FBI agents are forced to work together with a mob of 97 fat pedophiles to slay GanonIt's kino.
>>724808209Don't forget that the blue tunic grants underwater breathing.That sounds fucking amazing though doesn't it, I would get sidetracked for days swimming with the zora although they'd probably make fun of me for being a fucking lumbering retard in the water by comparison.
>>724808262Gerudo women can smell cock at 50 yards.
>>724808262i don't think men being banned from gerudo fortress is ever explicitly mentioned in oot, but i could be wrong. the reason you're not allowed in as a child is because you're well, a child.
>>724805016Yes. I want to fight him at his best. Don't worry bros, I have 10 years of MMA and 8 of boxing, I can take him on
>>724808251Now you're thinking correctly for one of these threads.>>724808280>>724808431One one hand, underwater sexOn the other hand, how will we all get 100 Zora tunics? Do we go with that plan others said about only a small crack team going into Water Temple while the rest of us wait or train or do something else?
>>724808262>tfw we send a femboy into Gerudo fortress and he just gets turned into their sex slave
>We'll actually be able to access the unicorn fountain since we can wear iron boots or just swim down thereHell yeah
>>724808632Well shit, guess you're in charge of our training regime for the seven year time lapse
>>724808632>Gets hit by a magic missile and fucking diesbejita bros...
>>724808702Guys Luigi is realAnd he's killing us
I will sequence break to the castle courtyard to rape young Zelda and inseminate her before Impa kills me.
I like the idea that anons will try to stay alive if only to make it to their waifus. Imagine a dozen genuine haglovers doing all they can to survive alongside the rest of us for the hope of making it to Twinrova together
>>724809036>guess who's your new daddy, Ganon?
>>724807171Living in Hyrule and starting up a life with Malon would be kino
One thing we've got going is that Zelda already doesn't trust the dorf. We need to take advantage of that somehow.
>>724808647>On the other hand, how will we all get 100 Zora tunics?We air out the lost woods and get an assload of huge rupees from the skull kids.
>>724809176Yeah there's absolutely no world where Zelda is on our side
>>724808632>I can take him o-AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE
>>724809260Going in the lost woods without a fairy is suicide, that's not an option.Better get comfortable cutting grass...I guess we're never beating the forest temple
>>724809265Someone could just pick up a lighter and pretend they're a powerful wizard there to advise the royal family. Future tech looks like magic to those that don't know of it
>>724809176>>724809265Listen to me Zelda, I come from a world far from this one. I know Ganondorf is evil, and I want to help take him down. But I need your help my princess. Together, with our magic combined, we can save Hyrule! ....oh? You don't have any magic? They don't teach you that until you're older huh?......so you're defenseless?*RAPE*
>>724809348Couldn't we use a spool of thread to leave a trail or something?
>>724808789I’m fast with the reflexes to match. I just have wait for him to launch his magic bullshit, dodge it, and hammer solid punches straight to his head. One slip-up and JOBnon is finished. /v/irgins thinks it’s impossible, but nothing’s impossible with willpower, and especially good training, and second, yes, i concede that being a fat retard isn't enough.Any half-trained anon could take down most of his force with a knife honestly. Bare-handed Ganon just requires skills.
atleast one of us will be an underage who can get both a fairy and crawl through the holes to grab the kokiri sword. We can probably beat Deku tree and have the underage use his fairy to get us out of the forest.
>>724809176Zelda can't really do shit cause she's ultimately just a kid and wouldnt have much authority, but Impa would be pretty useful to get on board if she didn't kill you on sight.
>>724809348>Going in the lost woods without a fairy is suicide, that's not an option.Then we are going to absolutely hook up the guy that buys stuff in bottles for rupees at the market/kakariko and a bunch of anons will focus on catching bugs/fish/etc. to sell to him. I think thats our best be, barring lost woods farming.
>>724808434That's why they have big noses.
>>724808758Sure. But only if we let Ganon takes the triforce first. 7 years is plenty of time for both parties to get the skills necessary for a good fight. Even 20 fat retards with the will to rape Ganondorf can do it with good fundamentals
>>724798296That's a crunchy princess.
>>724797315Jokes on you, someone will have to protect ganondorf from me and the other barafags.i'm rapefucking his bootyhole as soon as i see him.
Uhhh you know what why don't you guys take care of Ganon I'll uh...be outside the fire next to Zelda
Since the great fairy heals Link's injuries fully, you think if I visited her she'd have my foreskin grow back?
>>724809718You guys do that, I think I'm going to try my hand at being a farmhand
>>724809845The more you post Bejita the less confident I feel about your fighting skills, anon.
>>724809959>half the anons in this fight will be bitching about the 3DS remake and get killed during it
>>724797986GREAT! I'll grab my dinner
You guys wanna go fishing? We could host a /v/ fishing tournament at Lake HyliaThe winner gets DINNER
>>724809168I'd rather get together with a dozen other peak autism anons and contrive a way to either breach into Termina via the Lost Woods, or cause the Great Flood to happen on purpose>>724809348Forest Temple will be easy once we actually make it there. I'm worried about everything else>>724809718Comfy bug catching and fishing times with the lads while others do their best lawnmower impressions and others try to knock up Saria. Or maybe more anons than we think will scatter all over the game area like this guy >>724809985. Ultimately only like 30 of us will want to truly git gud and survive through to the end
>>724797986Who wrote this? Jesus or something? Fuck off, a book defeated CDI Ganon.
>>724810139Yeah, but Link was holding that book
>>724810201But Zelda can defeat him too in the other CDI game
>>724809348>>724810113Maybe we could find Skull Kid near the entrance and ask if he could be our guide to Termina. And in return we let him join our group and be our friend
>>724809845Ganondorf probably isnt even good in a fight, he's carried by magic.But on the off chance he's moving like he does in super smash bros melee, I dont like your chances. It's extremely unlikely that you could even lay a hand on him in that case.
>>724797253With me I bring the power of GUNS and CROP ROTATION. Those dumb isekai Hyruleans have nothing on my educated ass
>>724810251There's a chance a few faggot anons into shotas will want to fuck Skull Kid. But ignoring that, the only real way to give the anons without bitches their waifus to breach reality into the other Zelda games where there's more waifus for them
THIS NIGGA EATING BEANS
>>724810294>Ganondorf probably isn't even good in a fight, he's carried by magicHe wrecks your shit in WW, better not let him hear that
>>724810398
>>724810294>20 of 100 anons survive to face Ganondorf>instead Ganondorf begins to move and fight exactly like in SmashSpooky
>>724804002You want us to convince this guy that Ganon is an evil wizard?
>>724804160They won't spawn if you stay on the roads.
What would life in 20FPS even be like?
>>724810509>he starts up his split kick>20 anons slash at his balls
>>724810551WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCKI NEVER KNEW THAT
>>724810594It wld b he exac sme
>>724810594Would it be hellish enough that at least one anon would rather go back to the real world instead?>>724810638If he has no mercy invincibility we win
>>724810531Your Majesty, I saw Ganon stealing DINNER
>>724810640this also applies to wearing the bunny hood.
I've got to get my hands on 500 rupees.I've always figured the Goron/Zora tunics are pretty comfy.Swimming is good exercise too, the Zora tunic would let you get good at it quick. And I hate hot weather so the Goron tunic would see a lot of mileage.Why'd they ever stop making these things after OOT, anyways? The cost to usefulness ratio is pretty good imo, surely they sold decently at least.
>>724810640Anon...
>Join me anons, and I will make your rapes the greatest in Hyrule... Or else, you will die.
Honestly I can't imagine a bunch of 100 weird-looking miscreants with freaky round ears that just arrived unannounced one day would be trusted much.
>>724810862Zona Tunics still exist in TP's timeline, don't they?They should be very profitable products to sell to other races so I figure the only reason you'd top manufacturing them would be isolationist policies
>>724808262>ganondorf dies from aids or dick sepsis from stinkditch
I'd imagine Sheik would go like this>Hello. Nice to meet you all. My name is Sheik. There are quite a lot of you, I am pleased to learn there are still many who wish to rebel against Ganon's- PUT YOUR FUCKING DICK AWAY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?And then she disappears and we never see her again.
>>724804160>Don't talk to me or my son again
>>724810918Link looking kinda thick...
>>724811005We can just declare ourselves as an independent gang of mercenaries? That won't stop dozens of us from speedrunning to Saria, Malon, Ruto, Zelda, the Gerudo, etc. and being killed/imprisoned in the process and making things harder for the rest of us in it to win it
>>724811127What's wrong dude, just us guys here whipping our dicks out. Or are you in a disguise or something?
>>724811127WOO FEMBUSSY BUT ITS NOT EVEN GAY
>>724810949TRADE OFFERI receive>Your (probably multiple) lifelong servitudeYou receive>sick new monstrous Moblin/Bokoblin body and all that implies complete with weapons>The people of Hyrule to do with as you please>cool lantern to patrol my fortresses at night with>robust benefits packageY/N
>>724811206>We can just declare ourselves as an independent gang of mercenariesGiven the amount of people living in Hyrule we could be taken for an invading army trying to sneak their way in
>>724811317>NGerudo Valley is right there...
I'll cut the grass and make some money. I can go in and out of the houses and keep on doing so until I reach 99 rupees. Or is there no limit to how much money we can carry?
>>724811065TP's Zora Armor is a one of a kind thing that was specifically made by the late King Zora as a gift for the child timeline's first Hero.Whichever Link that corresponds to, be it OOT's or an unseen interim Hero, he seemingly never picked it up, so it got stashed in the royal Zora grave.
>>724811317>lanternYou dare bring light to my lair?! You must die!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THATWE'RE UNDER ATTACK
>>724811317Nuh huh, make me a Dark Nut or bust
>>724811439>CURSE YOU anon
>>724811065>They should be very profitable products to sell to other races so I figure the only reason you'd top manufacturing them would be isolationist policies.That and the various tunics are probably prohibitively expensive to the hylian average joe, or its seen as a luxury good.I dont need heat protective gear, nor do I need to be able to breath underwater in my day-to-day. It would be fun to have, sure, but not something I would invest into on a whim. Think: not everyone cares to buy scuba gear and just have it laying around, although there is nothing stopping most people from doing so.
>>724811439>me at age 4 drowning in the deep end of the pool because my dad was ogling college girls in their swimsuit
I unironically think I could complete OoT in real life single-handedly.I know that game by heart. I know all the lore. I know where all the upgrades are. None of Link's athletic feat are too crazy. Most of the enemies are dumb as a brick and have simple patterns.
I'm going to block Zora's Fountain with my fat ass next to King Zora.
>>724811384Wonder how long it'd take for word to get out that 100 people got transported from another world. They might think the Goddesses did this for some unknown reason.>>724811610Me but age 1. I wonder how much that was responsible for my autism and brain damage...
>>724811652ALL OF HYRULE'S WATER PASSES UNDER MY DICK AND BALLS MWEEP MWEEP
>>724811458I'll do you fast, Peppy ol' pal
>>724811467Imma bust a dark nut on ur're face lol
In terms of actual item usefulness, the sliver/gold gauntlets have got to be up there right? Anyone who can deadlift and caber-toss one of those huge obelisks would be able to punch dorf's skeleton clean out of his body.
>>724798762They're meant to be 3D. If you can climb a rope netting, you can climb the vines.
>>724811732This CAN'T be happening
>>724811686Nayru's substitute goddess while she's in the Oracle games
A new challenge approaches.
>>724811832QUICK, GET BOOMERANG ANON
>>724811686>for some unknown reasonThe entertainment value.
>>724811636>None of Link's athletic feat are too crazy.The first dungeon involves him jumping 50 feet into a pit of shallow water
Does Link still exist in this scenario? If so, we just stay out of the way and comfort the women while he saves Hyrule.
>>724811801I'm not wearing some dirty-ass gloves probably taken off a rotting corpse, next time I jerk off I'll probably get AIDS or some shit
>>724811801Because Link doesn't get a strength boost from the gauntlets while swinging his sword I assume the gloves have some kind of extremely specific enchantment on them that only gives you the strength to "lift" and nothing else. Meaning your punches are still going to be shit if you're a fat weakling.
>>724811879He snapped it in half because he thought "two boomerangs are better than one!"
>>724811959Think of the grip though.
whats his secret?I always plan the shortest routes and do the fastest strats but he always beats me by 1 second
>>724811918>Any day now>Man>7 years is a long time
Would the Great Fairy give us magic? Most the magic is all kinda boring combat-oriented stuff but Farore's wind could still be cool from a practical standpoint and like, come on, it's the chance to learn ACTUAL MAGICI suppose I better make it to the Great Fairys quickly before the other anons scare them off
>>724811918Read the thread. This is Link replaced by 100 of us, permadeath, no respawn, friendly fire enabled, 3 saves only
>>724811909We're not Link, we have a greater range of available actions. We can just cut the web away and climb down the vines into the basement levels instead.
>>724812117Actually yeah, nayrus love would be incredibly useful given that many things in the game would one-shot a normal person.
>>724812008Yeah, it's gonna be a real deathgrip
There are only four bottles in the world. Whoever gets a bottle gets to carry fish, medicine and milk. No, you can't eat cuccos, they'll fight back. Octoroks shrink when you kill them, and I don't think anyone wants to eat skulltulaSo, Tektites are the only logical thing to eat, their legs fall apart after you defeat them. If the moblins weren't the bulldog types, I'd suggest killing and eating them too, pigs are pigs after all.So either get a bottle and catch your own fish, or learn how to prepare tektite. Or hope that recovery hearts are just as tangible as food.
>>724797253Yeah im just gonna have sex, you guys can go beat the game or whatever
>>724803810sometimes I forget that Link is that much of a manlet
>>724797253alright no one fucking pull the sword
>>724812325Anon, no need to go into survival mode. Lon lon ranch probably provides hyrule with more edible options with their cows. We're good on food.
>>724812464"Adult" Link isn't even 18.He's got plenty of time to grow into an 8' mega warrior and then turn into a spooky ghost skeleton.
>>724812507We can't eat the cows, it takes too long for them to grow, and no eating the horses either dammit.I guess the Guays are an option too...Is this going by the game rules or just the location in general?
>>724812661If we're going strictly by game rules Link doesn't suffer from exhaustion or starvation either. He can perform at his peak indefinitely
>>724812661if we're bound stictly by game rules then everything bursts into flames as soon as it dies so nothing left to eat.
>>724812951Hearts are full of nutritionAlso deku nuts
>>724812486Hey guys look at this cool sword I foun-
>>724810509>wavelands in front of u and jabsheh. nothin personnel,.
Fuck you guys if I get my hands on the triforce I'm going to make Ganondorf's Hyrule look like a chuck-e-cheese's.
>>724812325We can absolutely eat Octorok.
>>724813315We know, Vaati
>>724813320I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT AN OCTOROCK COCK
>>724810640Did you know that if a butterfly touches a deku stick it turns into a fairy?
>>724809348i already know the minuette of forest though.
>>724813614This was a thing in SM64 so yes i did know.
>>724801983>TNTYou wish. It's just black powder. Glorified firecrackers.
>>724812028Just go talk to Ingo at the ranch for the first time during the race. Not only will you beat him to the Lost Woods, he won't even show up.
>>724813614No I did not wtf
>>724813567Mah boi, this dicking is what all true warriors strive for
Give me Bongo Bongo I wanna give five him
>>724813614What's the lore here?
everyone stalfos
>>724797253>>724797315There wont be any protection since most of the "protectors" wont even realize where to go to meet their protectees since they never played the game even once.
>>724814379A land of whimsy.
>>724813728I JUST WONDER WHAT GANON'S COCK IS UP TO
>>724813614Oh shit, so that's what the physical guidebook I bought as a kid meant by "have a butterfly land on a deku stick for a surprise" or something similar. Never managed to find out what the fuck it meant.
>>724812661>We can't eat the cows, it takes too long for them to growAnon, adult cows have children, the chidren grow up, and then we slaughter the adults, and then the children have children, then we slaughter those....And so on and so forth. We dont just slaughter the adults' meat, then wait the entire time period for the cow children to mature then get more. There's other cows that have grown up in that time, and they have also had children who will eventually continue the cycle in turn. It's a revolving door, it's not stop-go. The world would never have enough meat if it was how you are probably thinking it is.
Fun thread, see you bros again whenever the next time we do this
>>724814921Castlevania 64 next time
>>724814968Next time it's Aidyn Chronicles.
>>724814968>Castlekino 64PLEASE!!!
>>724814579WHAT’S FOR DINNER, SEXY BOI?
>>724814968>>724815212It warms my heart seeing that game get love nowadays. It used to get unfairly shit on a lot
>>724803923>urethra!I chuckled
>>724815398I started my first playthrough on Halloween after giving up on it as kid 20 years ago. I absolutely fell in love with the villa/mansion level.
>>724805270
>>724815703I think it’s cool that you don’t even need to reflect those back. You can just pelt Ganondorf with a Light Arrow while he’s charging the attack.
>>724816067Yeah but that's not as cool.
>>724813614Just stand still near them FFS, stop walking
Now that the thread is over yes I would 100% rape Young Zelda
>>724815398Specifically 64 or Curse of Darkness?
>>724814968How many /v/ nerds will sexually harass Carrie?
>>724816543>*Legacy of DarknessBoth of them.
>>724797253well since they weren't born with the triforce or chosen by the gods no
>>724797253fuck you faggots, I'm headed straight to Lon Lon to marry the farmer's daughter
