A Mexican cartel has kidnapped you, and the last character you've played as has to save you. How fucked are you?
>>729099541I'm safe
>>729099541i'm fine
>Arkham Origins BatmanProbably fine
>>729099541>Metroid Dread SamusForget saving me, she would single-handedly speedrun the entire cartel to death.
BEHOLD....
>>729099541I'm fine, I love him
>>729099541I'm dead
>>729099541dead
>>729100939you're probably fine
>>729099541>Rogue TraderAll the spics are definitely dead but I'm not sure if I'll catch a bullet before that happens
>>729099541>my retail WoW magemass barrier protects me, then some aoe spell annihilates the cartel
>The girl from Gunma KaiI think I'm OK
>>729101105but he's a healer going alone against an army of spics. I think it's over...
>>729099541I better hope this motherfucker is a Transformer.
protea from warframe. they will all burn to crisp while i get a comfy buddy drone shielding me
>>729101437Kek
Visigoths in CK3. Visigothic descendants conquered Mexico with a few hundred men, so I'll take those odds.
>>729101374did you forget he's armed and semi-insane?
>random helldiverall of us are going to die
Yeah, I should be fineThe Cartel couldn't possibly design platform/elevator puzzles retarded enough to outwit this guy, he'll reach me in no time
>>729099541>pal tamerwe're all dying
>>729099541I'll be a-ok
>>729099541Beating up criminals is literally her hobby.
>>729099541Thank god, it's my god-like character from Path of Exile 2!>remember it's a slow non-meta garbage buildgoodbye frens
>>729099541It's fucking over for me
I should be ok, I think.
>>729099541>Legend Rank StalkerMaybe if they're willing to negotiate he can trade them some artifacts in exchange for my life, but even if he could shoot his way through they'd probably just execute me before he could actually rescue me
>>729099541Mexican cartel ? Fancy name for Spanish lords. Huang Lee kills them by the thousands. My hero will keep me safe
lol
>>729101638I mean, I'm not saying he's a bad pick. Medic is based, it's just that he might lose just because they're too many. If it were a small band of punks he'd totally save me.
>John MarstonBetter have a full dead eye bar
>>729101374It wouldn't be pretty, but it'd be doable.You'd have to get shot and stabbed at long enough for Medic to build ubercharge while keeping yourself alive. Uber might give you two enough time to safely hijack a car and escape. If he has the Kritzkrieg, you'd have eight seconds to punch everyone in the room to death.
>>729102008i mean, if he actually intends to save you, chances are you will probably survice because he just kills everyone with some horrific necromantic spell that will haunt you in your nightmares for the rest of your life.
>Male Paragon Commander ShepardI'm fine.
>the lone wanderer with very good karmahe just has put down single-handedly an entire squad of slavers at Lincoln Memorial, he should be able to win against a similar kind of criminals
>>729102141I'm gonna play this game soon. Should I play the DS version or the PSP version?
She could save me with her light magic right? Mexicans abhor the light.
>cuts through them like butter while making it look like I escaped on my own
>>729099541Still their peak video.
>>729102264Damn, that would be horrible, but also pretty cool if it happened
>>729102429They're wearing visors cabron
>>729099541>Myself in VRThe whole building is either bombed, or i hear a bang outside and a plane crashes into us.
>>729099541The bitch from peripeteia will save me.
>>729099541>level 6 tiefling monk in baldur's gate 3I'm not sure, might be ok
>>729099541I'll be fine.Also, what powers would he get from inhaling a Mexican?
>>729099541>meowscles from fortniteI'm not sure. Meowscles is pretty jacked but my regular squadmates are as dumb as I am, and I was dumb enough to get kidnapped in the firs place.
>>729099541
>>729103029Uninterruptable siestas
>>729103029The power of poverty, being smelly, and also being brown.
I remember one of these videos where they executed a fat woman and started chopping at her neck with a machete and she started throwing up from the machete hole
>>729099541>Warframe's Uriel + DrifterThey are fucked. Spamming third ability, bring up the brimstone gauge, unleash hell with 199% extra damage, melted in seconds, if not, Laetum and Vinquibus will be enough with the pure damage and crit builds.
>>729103042If he gets enough shield and good loot he might be able to do it I guess
>>729099541Well the cartel’s dead but so am I
Dragon Knight Chad/Stacy from Divinity 2 would probably fare just fine.
>>729099541my dad works at CIA so i am fine
>>729102361PSP version of Chinatown Wars has better visuals and a few exclusive missions but DS has better gameplay overall (minigames, and how you handle throwable weapons)Soundtrack wise they're equal imo. DS has better atmosphere sort of. Both are great unironically, do a coin toss. Wish more gta games were made in this style. Hoping an indie does it soon
>>729103273He'd kill you by mistake and then cry while hugging your corpse or some shit
>>729103081>*Gulp*>*DING!*
True randomness will not save me from the cartel.I'm fucked.
>guy from amnesia the bunkeridk he keeps getting fucking pwned by the 1 monster so guess i'm fucked
>>729103415Ha shit, been a while since I played a Kirby game. Completely forgot that was already a "power".
OK
>>729099541They're already dead
>>729103273THIS ANON, HE WAS A FAGGOT, BUT HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYWhile doing this >>729103373
>>729103610Even if he saves you, he's taking your ass as payment
>>729103029the power of being an injun who larps as a Roman
>>729103689It's not a hisuian typhlosion, he wont get gaped.
>>729099541Literally 100% chance of escape so long as they don't fail the song.
I almost feel bad for them.Almost.At least they'll die to anime powerlevel/must train and get better faggotry like in the Dragon Ball schlock they love so much.
>>729099541>Press X >Demolish 6 chimi changas in 3 secundas
>>729103337Thanks, I'll play the entire game on one console and just give it a quick once-over on the other. I'm currently playing through the entire series.I definitely wouldn't mind another topdown GTA as long as it had the modern conveniences like saving and health instead of the arcadey bullshit of the first game.
>>729103656doubt a single horse can take out the entire cartel, especially since they're literally just normal women but with the speed and strength of a horse
>Max PayneHe doesn't have the best track record of saving people in time but my odds are higher since I'm not a woman
>>729099541It's going to take Racimir at least 14 seasons to finally get to my part in the quest line, I'm boned.
>>729099541I’ll be fine, as long as he doesn’t fuck me over with the C-4. Honestly he could probably get me out without them even noticing.
>>729099541They are very dead.As for me, as long as I don't die as collateral I think I will be fine.
>>729099541>Ethan Wintersit’s genuinely over…..
>>729099541He can kill shigger hodes with ease. I'm in good hands.
>>729099541>doomguynah i'd win
>>729099541>An EDF wingdiverShe would sure as fuck outgun them but she's also just a human so she could still get shot and die.
>>729099541Imagine if we decided to nuke mexico along side nuking japan and they also get buck broken and turn into a relatively harmless cartoon factory. Sighhh if only
>>729099541>expedition 33, End-game Maelleoh, they're fucked
>>729101717>Throws a napalm barrage in your general area
>>729103713I dont think think you know what a mexican is
Think I'm good after a loop or two
>>729105289He could do that but drillers are not known to be discreet. He would kill everyone there most likely including you because he can and it's funny.
My main character in MH Wilds. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. The dude is used to hunt giant beasts, and sure can take a beating, but against millions of bullets and whatnot I'm not that confident.
>>729099541She'll clumsily cut me down by accident during the melee
>>729099541>grail knightAudacity of Agilgar! Heart, Body, and Soul!
>>729105583OP didn't specify they had to actually kill the cartel, just that they need to get you out
>>729099541>BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!!!
>>729099541Why haven't the Mexican government done anything to stop these guys?
>>729106067>he thinks they haven't infiltrated the government
>>729106067They're more powerful than their government, there's this infamous case in which they defeated the army and they had to let one of these cartel dudes out of jail or something like that
decent chance
>>729101819sorry bro, but the cartel has you imprisoned at loop 10
>>729105289If he's using Beast Master, he could convince one of the cartel members to fight on your side.>I'm gonna call you Steeve!>"¿Qué es eso?"
>>729106067Its easier to make ethical chocolate than to get rid of the CIA in your country
>>729106276He'd save you before anyone notices
>>729106009Well how else is she gonna get me out. I doubt that jetpack can hold two people. And it's not like a woman is gonna carry a full grown man through the sky.
>>729099541>MetalSlug TacticsThe whole mexican cartel is fucked lmao, this is just another adventure for Tarma, Fio and Eri
>>729099541>Destiny warlockas long as she doesn't throw a scatter grenade in my face i should be alright
>>729099541...does he get his monsters, or can I cheat and get his adult forms? Can I marry his female monsters afterwards?
>>729099541It was a WEG where the male MC is a superhero who can manipulate light. I didn't get far, but he stopped a truck being thrown at him with it, so I reckon I'm probably fine. Especially because he gets a robotic super suit.
>>729106276>DecentYour safety is practically guaranteed. This kind of thing is his bread and butter.
>modded Skyrim playthrough I'd probably get misted via collateral damage but the banditos would all be dead in a heartbeat.
>>729099541>Pathfinder War of the Righteous>Mutation Fighter/Slayer>Level 40 Legend>Fauchard for high crit chancethey are fucked
>>729099541as long as they have some Bolillo nearby I'll be fine
>>729099541If the comics are anything to go by I am so fucking screwed.
>>72909954150% Change she kills every cartel member 50% chance she doesn't give a fuck.
>>729102492I love videogames
>>729106645that or they turn you into the town slut
>>729106557>Marco ignored
>>729106485Not only would he get caught, he would somehow fight and beat several Mexican Meth-al Gears before getting you both to safety.
>>729099541I think Archaeon the Never Chosen could beat the Cartel.
>>729099541>Noble SixI think I am good
>>729106067That is the Mexican government
>original trilogy RatchetHe mows down the whole cartel and saves me, after which I give him something that plays him a video showing him which planet to go to next. Then I die anyway in a humorous cutscene
>>729106723How powerful do you think a horse is exactly?
>>729099541she got big guns, spaceship and an ice cream in her backpackI think I'm fine as long as the ice cream doesn't melt
>>729106797Unfortunately for you, GW just released a new Cartel codex and a few new models for them.
>>729106784You can only choose 3 teammates in MS: Tactics
Fuc
>>729106067combination of said government has been infiltrated by them for a while and the fact Mexicos government has always been extremely weak and barely managed to cling on to the land it currently has
>>729106792And it would be epic
>>729102361Both. DS is cel shaded while PSP is a little more similar to GTA3. Both are kino and the worst version is the iOS/Android port by Grove Street Games.
>>729107000If he can level up like he does in game he just needs to adventure for like a month at American shooting ranges and he's ready for the Cartel.
>>729106873Kek. Accurate.
>>729099541My crystal chronicles character, I'm fine, she can tank missiles exploding right on her face and retaliate by beating the shit out of everything with a hammer, we will have intense sex afterward, the size difference will be great I always wanted to fuck a midget.
He didn't asked for this
>>729107134>Just wait a month br-ACK
>>729107000>Ese Henry has come to see us!
>>729107334Kek
I'm getting left to die aren't I
>>729099541re4 but Leon saves an ugly 30 year old man instead of a cute teenage girl
>>729099541BL3 Max lvl Moze with railgun and atomic bomb Bear?Most probably she'll kill me by accident
>>729107013Damn, so there is literally no way to defeat them, it must be hard living in that country, you'll randomly be a victim of them
>>729107585Will ask for your sister and mother as payment.
>>729099541>Norah from Call of the SeaThank fuck I picked the right ending for this.
>>729099774>hops from one corner of the room to the other while the cartel monologues
>>729107607Would you hide in a dumpster if he asked you to?
>>729107585Unless you're a female pretty enough to be raped he's not gonna move a finger for your sake. Rance doesn't do shit for the homies.
>>729107659>mom is 50 and sister is uglyi'm so fucked
>>729106630>>729106485you aren't accounting for the kind of shit that usually happens making it not guaranteed
>>729099541>my modded-out edgy grimdark dragonborn with time manipulation powers, unlimited mana, fingerless gauntlets and an absolutely sick medieval armored trenchcoatyeah i'm gonna be ok
>>729106723>normal human but with horse strength and speedshe's either becoming a slave or glue, you're fucked
>>729107769yes probably he seems to know what he is doing
>>729107837>capturing anon is actually part of a plot about changing the world with nukes, metal gears, super soldiers and secret weapons for some reason
>>729107585Maybe if there's like a gender bender potion on his belt you could snag?
>Banjo & KazooieThe cartel are fucking done.
>>729099541>XCOM UFO DefenceAn Avenger full of powered armoured psionic supersoldiers will arrive in 10 minutes. The entire cartel will be mind controlled on turn 1, forced to clump up and then get nuked by a blaster launcher.
>>729108004The infamous hacker known as anonymous. The only one with the launch codes for the giga turbo nuke hidden on the moon.
>>729107585>takes control of the cartel
>>729107607What if Ada is the one who saves you?
>>729107134>>729107334
>>729099541>Walking Chernobyl that radiates and nukes everythingEverybody and me included will fucking die to radiation poisoning if he places down a single tower or Qorvex shoots his beam.
>even cartels need lawyers, right?
>>729099541Saltzpyre would either shoot them first, charge in like a retard and hack them to pieces, or go invulnerable and bash them into pulp.
>>729108228>>729108004
>>729108298Wouldn't that also bring the wall into earth? You're probably the most fucked in the thread so far.
>>729099541>An armored coreI don't know how a giant mech like this would go about doing a rescue mission without killing me by accident.
>>729099541>GBVSR SiegfriedThose poor bastards...
>>729108004>>729108228>>729108345A plot is coming togethere here.
I think the cartel is FUCKED, but so am I.
>>729108228>PLEAAAAE, I'M NOT A HACKER I SWEAR!!! EVERYONE IS "ANONYMOUS" ON 4CHAN!!!>cartel: haha I don't speak english
>cartel simply dies all around me one by one with nobody reacting>i casually walk away thinking it was the wind
if she has the same skill i did when playing i'm fucked, just beat the first boss and am getting bodied by trash mobs in the next area
My wife could solo the cartel because barbarian warriors are OP
>>729108608game name and is it good?
>>729099541>Slay the Spire with the Patchouli modProbably a safe bet.
>turns all of south america into a crater
>>729108228>>729108004>metal gear was stolen in south americait's all coming together
>>729099541my ds3 character will get hitstunned by bullets until death.
>>729108708Doll's Nest. I think its okay, its like a budget armored core with anime girls as far as I can tell
>>729108916But he will keep coming back untill they run out of ammo.
>>729099541I'm reminded of this cartel killing video where they kill this curvy young latina with machetes or something. It was morally distressing to the extreme but at the same time disturbingly stimulating to me.
>>729108984Why are they so fucking evil? God almighty.
>>729108974their bullets will respawn with my character
>>729108984That sounds tame as fuck compared to what they usually do, what made that particular video distressing?>>729109043Might makes right
>>729099727>You want to save Anon? Fight your way to the top of Millennium Tower. The whole cartel stands in your way. He’ll be on the roof. >Fine.
>>729109043Some people are just subhuman by nature, anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoelCIC86lw
>>729099541>Jedi ExileThey're getting deported back to nonexistence.
>>729099541not convinced
>>729099541them spics are FUCKED
>>729109486It will be over in less than 3 seconds.
>>729099541>WarframeThose guys and whole Mexican cartel will be gone
>>729109197I guess it's more about the victim than the method of their tortured demise. I think it's very natural to be distressed when attractive women are subjected to things like that
>>729106067Pic related.
>>729099541>the cyber grind starts playing
>>729106067their current jewess in charge is literally a cartel servant LMAO
>>729099541Doesn't matter. I would be endlessly screaming NIGGER until they decided to just dump me in the desert just so they don't hear NIGGER for the 50000th time.
>The Engineer from FactorioWelp, i am dead either from the cartel killing me or The Engineer nuking the cartel and me alongside them
>>729109926Dead men yell no niggers.
>>729109926Or cut your tongue bit by bit while loud cumbia music plays in the background.
Another kind of cartel is about to brutalize them.
>>729099541>Batman: Arkham CityI could not be in better fucking hands.
>>729110007I would still mouth it endlessly
>>729099541A hidden Mexican would drop from the ceiling and impale me with his machete.
>>729109960>walls off all of mexico and nukes itkek you're done for
>>729110017forgot image
>>729104195Ok but what kind of wacky hijinks would your escape entail? What would the 3 Acts be, you trying to avoid execution, then you trying to escape the compound, and then a final wild chase where you're in the back of the pickup truck of an American who's driving you to the border while the cartel is driving after you?
>>729109983Kek
>ConorIt's a coin toss if I'm going to die or hell autism our way out of the situation.
>>729110047Don't worry, he's read a magazine with a secret method to revive you
>my faith/int elden ring charactersave me, elden stars
>>729109669They would get fucked so hard and fast they wouldn't even know what hit them. Warframes are pretty crazy.
>took out pirates>took out highly trained private militaries>took out elite covert op agentswtf is the cartel going to do
I'll be fine
>>729099541>EU5>King of Naplesuhh... does he bring his army?
>>729110041Have fun doing that with your own dick and balls shoved up your mouth and foil tape around your face, muffling any sound.
>Serious SamIt will be like an action movie where every two steps there's 100 cartel members with piss poor accuracyBut there will be a single Kleer in the closet next to me that leaps out and 1-shots him before it kills me too
I'm probably fine. Wuwa characters seem pretty strong and she can stop time.
>>729110248>lost to a single stupid negress because of woke points As long as the cartel doesn't have some trans spic in their lines, you'll be fine.
I hope dragon Jesus is bullet resistant
>>729099541the question isn't how fucked they are but how fast it'll be over
>>729099541it's over unless they start gooning to her
>>729099541My Fallout 76 character. I'm fine.
>>729099541idk
>Ryo SakazakiI'm safe
>>729109763I love how this guy makes the west seethe. Also, this shit is getting out of hand. The fuck is pic related
>>729110790read the text before it dumb nigga
>>729110790Bro, how much do they hate your country? Even Australia only gets like 3 dots.
>>729110596shes literally invincible what do you mean
>>729099541>C4-621I'm dead because the entire cartel complex has been reduced to smoking rubble
>>729099541Samuel Walker (Daymare 1998) is a normal guy with some guns, probably not enough
>>729099541I guess I'm okay
>>729099541Henry Townshend is getting captured too.
>>729110790Just choose the image with more blank dices
>>729099541>my osrs characterdoes protect from range work on bullets?
>>729110872I know it works the same, how else would I be able to post. It just is a dozen times more annoying>>729110916I deserve it for being dutch I guess
>>729110872holy fuck i'm fucking retarded. Asked this in another thread and didn't get any answer. I need a lobotomy
>>729110916It's based on how old your cookies are or last time you changed up
>>729099541This is BBS Terra so there's a decent chance he gets me into some darkness related shenanigans after dealing with the cartel
>>729111051I got lucky a couple times before I noticed there's a different tooltip
>My level 300 GTA Online characterprobably dead due to explosive spam
>>729110471miss me with that shit
>>729099541Rogue Trader and these guys.I'm cooking
>>729099541They. are. fucked.
>>729110596>functionally invincible sniperYou could do worse.
I am 100% dead, but atleast so are the cartel members
>sevenI'm probably gonna be fried with the rest of them.
>Carol (Onirism)Either her toys work like normal weapons and I witness hardcore bloodthirsty cartel members getting their asses kicked by a little girl, or they don't and I'm gonna watch a girl getting turned into sausages before dying myself.
>>729111227I wanna fuck Recette
>>729099541>the asian engineer lady from bf6could go either way
>>729099541>DragonbornLiterally slows time and kills them as they're barely able to react. I'm fine
>Courier 6>My build at the moment is getting bodied by the White Legs in a second flat every now and then at lvl 12>Not to mention Veronica has caught some of my stray buckshot and frags multiple times back in the MojaveI'm fucked
>ku'gath from TWW3 well shit, the cartel are done for but so am I
>>729111183Oh crap, I got lucky too then, I just assumed it worked the same
>>729106067the cartels are Mexican culture, if you remove them you leave them with no culturealso the cartels work for the government. The government could stop them whenever they want but it brings them money from both sides
>>729111340first scenario is great, you get both saved and a qt Carol gf
>Connor from Detroit: Become Human has to negotiate my freedomI'm fucked.
>>729111348Good luck dealing with the fairy
>The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk party>elf shoots me in the dick by accident>barbarian cleaves me in half while screaming BASTON>ogre mistakes me for a screaming hotdog covered in ketchup and eats meI'm fucked
>>729111348>>729111580the fairy would probably be fine with it as long as you paid, no?
>>729106276>(you) were actually a metal gear prototype pretending to be human the whole timeSorry anon, it's more over than you thought.
we're all dying.
>EthanWell if the cartel runs away after he beats them at cock/dog fighting I will be fine.
>>729099541I don't look like like a little Asian trap boy... Is uncertain if I would get Ichimonjid too
>>729107640there is, its just a case of large scale revolution which on its own would be bloody and would spook the US government against it due to a combo of spooks wanting some of that drug cash, even more spics fleeing to the US, and the inevitable international powerplays for a country on their border causing the govt to go all in on making sure it never happens
>>729111647>spend weeks courting Recette until she finally accepts you as her bf >but you have to pay every time you want to have sex Life is unfair
>>729103139You just described Seattle you donkey
My generic melee build in Demon's Souls? I am so fucked.
Power Wash SimulatorBasically fucked
>>729099541>my OC 7th Stand UserSonic Youth can buff me so I can escape while massively debuffing the cartel and turning the very wind against them.
Detective. Arriving. On the Scene.
>Sims 1Why, I can simply teleport out
>>729111996Kek. You could say you're... washed up.
>"No one cares about the Cartel, right now. We almost just died ourselves!"
I pretty confident about my odds unless the covenant start invading mid-mission
>>729112029based
>recycles the cartel into more ammo
>>729099541Re:Mercenaries 3DI just killed hundreds of zombies with Wesker some even wielding miniguns, I think Im safe
>>729099541Mexico?You mean Macedonia
>>729099541>Fate Grand OrderEasy. MC just summons an assassin class servant to gib the cartel.
>>729099541I'll survive.
>>729099541If the people from Planetside 2 are not seen as characters, as they are "anonymous", then Sybil.Maybe I am not fucked...
>>729112763>Planetside 2It's still around? I thought the devs drove that into the ground years ago.
>>729113017There are still enough players to be a mess in 2 or 3 locations of the map, on PC, especially during the peak hours.
>>729099541>>729111475>[Intimidating Presence] I'm going to grind your bones up and snort them to get high.
>>729099541>BatmanI think I'm good, bro.
>>729099541>my crew from pic relatedi’m so fucked
>>729106067They are the gestapo of the mexican gov my friend.Picture it like One Piece where they become gov sanctioned pirates that get to operate in the country and the gov turns a blind eye as long as they keep money flowing in and do their dirty work when asked.They only get taken down whenever they step out of line or they garner too much attention from uncle sam.>>729106243>they defeated the army and they had to let one of these cartel dudes out of jailThe event you are relating to is The Culiacanazo and is not that the army was defeated is that they took the whole city hostage and the president ordered them to fall back and release el Chapo's son or else the cartel would start killing civilians.The fucker did get captured again a couple of years later and was so early in the day that he was in the US before 10am.
>>729099541How big are the bugs from HK supposed to be??If she's somewhat human sized i guess i am safehttps://youtube.com/shorts/IM3dAbCUGcc?si=BDn3fNFFjMm0_lJm
