It was the 24th of December—Christmas Eve. Dr. Albert Wily was in his usual foul mood. Sitting in Wily Fortress, he glared out at the bustle around him: Mettools clanking about, Sniper Joes hauling parts, all of them assembling yet another villainous contraption under his watchful eye. And still, he felt miserable.It had been a rotten year. Mega Man had foiled his plans for world domination yet again, and on the evening news Dr. Light was receiving—what was it now?—another award.“Doctor,” one of the Mettools began, hesitating. “A few of us were wondering if we could have Christmas morning off tomorrow. Even just a few hours—to go see the lights in the city.”“Christmas?” Dr. Wily snapped. “What do you have to celebrate? The year is nearly over and I’m still no closer to beating that meddlesome Dr. Light! No. Absolutely not! You’re staying right here and finishing robots that can finally defeat Mega Man!”The Mettools and Sniper Joes could only sigh and return to their workbenches. Dr. Wily had never granted them a day off before. Why would Christmas be any different?
Dr. Wily mumbled to himself as he paced the room, thinking up new ways to torment the blue bomber.Then Bass strode in—his strongest creation, and by far the most rebellious."I'm taking off, Wily," said the black robot as he walked through the lab, heading for the door. "I'm going to go shoot rocks with Treble.""Where do you think you're going?" Dr. Wily called out after Bass. "You’re due for upgrades—upgrades that will finally let you beat Mega Man! I built you, and you have to do what I say!""I don't care about beating Mega Man any more," Bass said. "I don't care about your stupid grudges from decades ago."Dr. Wily’s mustache bristled as his voice jumped an octave. “My grudges built you—get back here!”"Then go build yourself another robot who will do your dirty work for you, you'll never build someone as strong as me anyway.""Oh, I will! Just you watch!" Dr. Wily barked, but Bass had already taken off.Dr. Wily stood there fuming. "Why is everyone so intent on ticking me off today? Bah! Humbug!"
DING DONG! A bell rang ."Bah! Who is this now?" Dr. Wily grumbled as he made his way to the front door of the fortress.DING DONG!“Who is it?” he shouted as he yanked the door open. Who should be standing before him, but the blue bomber Mega Man and his sister Roll."Good day, Dr. Wily," said Mega Man, unfailingly polite even to his nemesis. "We wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas! We've been going around the neighborhood—""What's so merry about this Christmas!" Dr. Wily snapped.Roll stepped forward brightly. “Would you like to hear some carols? We’ve been practicing!”"I don't want to listen to any carols! Now go away! Bah! Humbug!"With that, Dr. Wily slammed the door on the two little robots.
All this anger had tired Dr. Wily out. What was all this business about Christmas. Bah!Irritated by the constant interruptions, Dr. Wily decided he was not going to get any work done that day. So he gave up on scheming, retired to his quarters, and turned in early.Just as he was brushing his teeth, he glanced up—and froze.In the mirror’s glass, fogging as if someone had breathed on it from the inside, a face came into view: an old man who looked remarkably like Wily... and yet not. The same sharp nose, the same wild mustache—only older, paler, and wearing an eyepatch.“Albert,” the man in the mirror said, “listen to me.”“Who are you?” Dr. Wily demanded, convinced he was dreaming."I am your distant relative. Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits—one at the top of each hour. Hear what they have to say, Albert, before it is too late.""What? I don't have any relatives!" But when he blinked and looked in the mirror again, the vision was gone.
"I must be going crazy," Dr. Wily muttered as he flung himself into bed. "All this talk of Christmas has gotten me all riled up."It had been a rotten year, and he was sure the next one would be too. He soon fell into a deep slumber.
THUMP! THUMP! Dr. Wily was jolted awake by a loud thumping sound as the clock struck one."What is that ruckus!?" Dr. Wily sat up in his bed, only to see a green robot with shades bouncing on a red pogo-stick in his doorway."I'm Quint, and I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."Dr. Wily blinked hard, trying to tell if he was dreaming. He remembered him from years ago, when he last used the robot from the future as a pawn to battle Mega Man."What are you doing here in my bedroom?""We haven't much time. We're going to take a trip into the past."Quint hopped over by the bed and took Dr. Wily's hand, and on the next bounce, the whole room seemed to fade away.
The next moment, Dr. Wily found himself standing in a room from his distant past: it was his university campus! This was where he first got interested in robotics research, where he first met—"By giving robots independent thought... They can be true partners to humankind at last!" There it was: the voice of his old rival, Dr. Thomas Light!Wily turned and saw them. Two younger men at a workbench: Light, animated with conviction, and... Wily himself, decades younger, eyes bright, hands flying as he spoke."With this installed, any robot can instantly become a hero!" Dr. Wily then saw himself—his younger self. Still so full of optimism about the technology.The two young scientists continued debating excitedly, trading ideas back and forth, sparring with their minds.Quint bounced quietly beside him. "This was where it all began, right?" he asked. "Two scientists, hoping to change the world.""Yes, it was such a long time ago. Before he betrayed me and trashed my researched before my committee. Before...""Before you started fighting him?"
With another bounce, Dr. Wily found himself transported again, this time to another research laboratory. This was years in the future, and the two scientists were now old men.“Years later,” Quint said, “you worked together again.”"I remember this," Dr. Wily looked on as the two scientists scurried about the room, putting together mechanical parts and scribbling on bits of paper. "This was when I had tricked him into thinking I had reformed, and got his help to build Gamma.""Even after you had tried to take over the world, he still offered to help?""Yes," Dr. Wily chuckled to himself. "That poor fool would fall for anything." "But you look happy working with him again," remarked Quint."Well... it was a good chance to work with the second brightest mind of our age." Dr. Wily looked a little nostalgic as he spoke. "Before his Mega Man ruined my plans again, anyway."Quint’s voice went quiet. "...It's time to go back.""What? What was this all about?" Dr. Wily snapped at him. "You pulled me through time to mock me with my greatest rival?"It was impossible to see what Quint was thinking behind his shades, but he seemed disappointed.With another bounce, Dr. Wily found himself back in his bed. Quint was gone, and it was like he had never left at all."That was a very strange dream," Dr. Wily thought to himself, unsure if anything he had just experienced was real.
When the clock struck two, Dr. Wily was still tossing and turning in his bed, wondering what other strange events awaited him this night. He started upright as a purple light flooded the room. There was a familiar-looking face, in an unfamiliar-looking form."B-bass? Is that you?" Dr. Wily asked wearily. He recognized the familiar black fins of his creation, but his body was draped in an brown cloak, seeming to float in the doorway.""My name is Bass.Exe. And I am the Ghost of Christmas Alternate Present." The voice that came from the apparition in the doorway was devoid of all emotion."An executable? Like a program?" Dr. Wily was more confused than scared now."Yes. Come, I have much to show you."
The apparition grabbed the old man by his hand, and all at once they were whisked away from his bedroom, into a cascade of flashing lights. When Dr. Wily had regained his wits, he found himself looking at a beautiful town, with little houses and perfectly trimmed hedges. Everyone was happy and peaceful, and everyone was holding little devices and talking to them."Where are we? You said this is an alternate present?" Dr. Wily turned to his guide to ask."Yes, it is the year 20XX, just like where you come from. This world is a parallel of yours: you can think of it like a world where instead of working on robotics, you and Dr. Light had instead devoted yourself to digital intelligence.""Digital intelligence? Why, yes... we used to discuss this back in university. But the potential for robots was just too great, and we could never quite capture that human-like quality in our artificial intelligence experiments," Dr. Wily said, ponderously."Well in this world, you both succeeded. This world is built on a powerful Internet, filled with artificial intelligence called 'Navis' that help run every part of society."
"Amazing! Then I must be a big deal in this world!"The apparition waved his hand, and the two were transported to a new location: a room full of computers, a pod with a giant W, and a haggard old man with a familiar winged hairstyle."That's you: Lord Wily. One of the co-creators of the Internet.""Wow! I look important... and a lord too!" Dr. Wily admired the regal black coat that adorned his doppelganger. He never had that knack for fashion. "Why, it sounds like I should have gone into digital intelligence all along! Things would have worked out so much better! But why does my other self look so miserable?""Because in a moment, a young boy named Lan Hikari will come into this room. He is the grandson of Dr. Tadashi Hikari, the Dr. Light of this world. He and his Navi MegaMan.Exe will defeat Lord Wily and foil his plans."As the apparition finished, a young boy in shorts roller-bladed into the room, waving a blue device in his hand as he confronted Lord Wily.Dr. Wily's face turned from admiration to fury at once."MegaMan?! Even here? Am I cursed to be hounded by him in every world? Why does he have to ruin everything?""Because Lord Wily is the leader of WWW, a terrorist organization that has threatened to destroy or rule the net society several times."The apparition's words barely registered in Dr. Wily's mind. Just the name 'Mega Man' was enough to throw him into rage. "Curse that MegaMan! And that Dr. Light! And his grandson! His whole family is conspiring against me! I... I must ruin that man at any cost!"The apparition was silent, then spoke. "Is that really all you've learned from this?""Yes!" exclaimed Dr. Wily. "Our rivalry crosses even worlds! He opposes me at every turn, and now... I won't rest until I've beaten him! And his whole family!"The apparition seemed disappointed. "Well, don't you want to know about your son?""My son...?" Dr. Wily was taken aback. "I have a son?" He had never even thought about family before.
AI uncslop
The apparition waved his hand again, and now the two found themselves standing on a roof of a tall building. Before them stood the young boy from before, and a middle-aged man with dark hair and a monocle, standing at the edge of the building."That is your son," the apparition said, pointing at the man. The man then let himself fall backwards, off the building."No!!" Dr. Wily had barely processed that that man was his son, but still felt a great sorrow at his fall into oblivion. "What happened here?!""He will be fine. He followed your footsteps and formed his own criminal organization to take over the net society. Like you, he will be defeated by Lan Hikari and MegaMan. Eventually, even you will reform, and you will erase his memories to free him from your terrible path."Dr. Wily didn't know what to think or what to say. His son would end up like him, a criminal, and would end up defeated."Why... my son, and Dr. Light's grandson... are we simply doomed to keep fighting each other, forever? Tell me, Ghost, is this my fate?"The apparition looked disappointed again. "Do you still not understand?" He turned away and began to wave his hand."No, tell me! Why do we keep fighting! Why...!" Dr. Wily cried out, but it was too late. This alternate world faded away, and he found himself in his bed once again.
Dr. Wily lay in his bed. He was angry, confused, and frustrated. Why? Why did he and Dr. Light keep clashing? What did it all mean?When the clock struck three and a third shadow arrived in his doorway, he had a tired, resigned look about him."Where are you bringing me now? Another world where Dr. Light makes a mockery of me?"It was only when the figure stepped forward that Dr. Wily could take a good look at him. He was stunned. This figure also had a cloak on, with deep scratches and exposed circuitry that indicated significant battle damage. But it was the red helmet and blonde hair that struck him. He knew this face. He had spent so long working on it; it was his most secret project, years from completion. It was Zero."I am the Ghost of Christmas Future."
"Zero? I... I actually completed you?" Dr. Wily almost more excited now than scared of the tall, battered figure standing before him."Yes." This figure was not one for words. Instead, it grabbed Dr. Wily by the collar of his pajamas, and they were whisked away to a desert landscape.Dr. Wily squinted at the harsh sunlight. All around there was nothing—no buildings, no streets, no people. In the distance, there lay only broken structures and broken robots. A lifeless, desolate wasteland."What is this? Where is this?" Dr. Wily demanded of his guide."This is your future.""What? Why are we in this desert? Bring me to a city or something. Aren't you supposed to show me what happens to me?""Almost everywhere is like this. The whole planet. Nothing but ruins." The figure repeated coldly, "This is your future."
>/v/'s version of /a/'s tsundere christmas carolWould have been funnier with Robotnik instead of Willy.
"What happened? Was there a natural disaster? A meteor hit the Earth? Some trouble with the planet's magnetic field?" The doctor was quickly thinking through what kind of catastrophe would cause worldwide damage like this."The figure turned to Dr. Wily with a cold stare—one that shook him straight to his core."In 20XX, you finish building me. And the virus inside me. In 21XX, that virus infects a lot of robots. And that leads to many wars.""I... I didn't," Dr. Wily stuttered, glancing away. But the figure continued."Then, one of the bad robots crashed a space colony onto the surface of the Earth, ruining the environment."A space colony crashing into Earth, that would do it, thought Dr. Wily. Not quite a meteor—no, basically a man-made meteor...But the figure continued.
"Then, an evil man uses the virus and the technology inside me to control the world's robots and take over the world. The resulting war leads to 90% of the world's robots and 60% of all humanity dying."The figure forced Dr. Wily to look at him, at his cold, unmoving eyes. "One in every two humans dies. More than that."Dr. Wily could not speak. He had boasted about "taking over the world" a thousand times—shouted it, laughed about it, built machines for it. But he had never meant this. He had never condoned hurting people. And 90% of robots... if they were intelligent, thinking robots, then...
Dr. Wily scrambled to his feet."No, this can't be! I would never... I would never..."He couldn't find his words, but somewhere, deep down inside, he knew what the figure said was true. The ruins around them were proof enough."Then... then what happened to you?""I am Zero. I was a Maverick Hunter. I hunted the bad robots." There was a subtle pride in how the figure spoke. "I have spent the last hundred years fighting bad robots and protecting the helpless, alongside X. And we will keep fighting.""X? Who is X?""Mega Man X."Mega Man. Another Mega Man, another of Dr. Light's infernal creations. But this one was working together with Zero, his own creation. Could it be? They were working together, fighting for the greater good? What a thought...But as he looked around at the desolate landscape, he wondered that that even amounted to. Half the world's population dead, the other half probably in hiding, civilization reduced to dust and wreckage."Well, did you succeed? Did you save the world?""..." The figure said nothing."Tell me, Zero! Tell me that you and X save humanity! And the robots! And civilization."The figure said nothing for a while more. "...We will keep fighting."
Dr. Wily fell to his knees. This, all this was the result of his and Dr. Light's rivalry. Years, decades of building robots that could beat each other. And before him stood his greatest creation, telling him that it would all amount to nothing—it would all turn to nothing.A lifetime of work. For this.Billions dead. The planet ruined. Endless destruction and wars for centuries.No, no, no!"This cannot be! You're lying! A robot cannot lie! Tell me the truth, Zero! That's an order! Tell me this is just some fantasy, some nightmare you concocted to trick me!"The figure stood unmoving."Tell me, Zero! Please!" The old man pulled at the cloak of the red robot. "Tell me... tell me how to stop this. I'll do anything! Just tell me how to fix this!"The figure looked down at its groveling creator. It pulled him up by his collar, and held the old man up almost a foot into the air. It repeated itself for the last time."This is your future. Unless.""Unless what? Unless what?! Tell me!"The figure let go, and Dr. Wily felt himself falling to the ground.
*THUMP*The old man hit the ground on his bum, cushioned by the sheets wrapped around him. He sat up quickly—he was back in his old bedroom, and morning sun pouring through his windows."I'm back home! What a night!" He had hardly processed the events of that long night with all those crazy visions. But he knew in his heart that something had changed inside him, for good.He leapt to his feet and ran out his bedroom door, calling out to the first Mettool he saw down the stairs."You there! Tell me what day it is!""It's Christmas day sir!" The Mettool responded diligently."Christmas day... it's not too late! I can still change! I can change my future!" The old man uttered to himself.
"Is something the matter, sir?" The Mettool called from downstairs."Why, there's a problem of course! You're still here!" Dr. Wily exclaimed.The Mettool was confused and didn't know what to say."I want all of you to go into the city, and have a merry time," Dr. Wily continued. "You all have the day—no, the week off! Merry Christmas!"The Mettool could hardly believe what it was hearing. "Thank you sir!""And let everyone know in the fortress know: Wily Fortress is closed for the week! You can do that for me can't you?The Mettool yelled out at once. "Yes sir! I'll do that right away! And... and Merry Christmas to you too!"
Dr. Wily got dressed at once. He had so many things to do! It was going to be a busy day!First, he had one call to make. He turned on his screen and called up his creation Bass. "What is it, Wily?" Bass' annoyed face popped up on screen. "What now?"I have but one order for you," started Wily as he pulled on his christmas socks. "And that is I want you to have a very splendid day today, and to forget everything I said yesterday. You should be free to do whatever you want!""What's gotten into you? What are you talking about?""I'm saying that I'm an old fool who knows nothing. You are an amazing robot who can do anything, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."Bass was taken aback. He had never heard such words coming from the mouth of his creator."I've had a change of heart," Dr. Wily continued. "I don't want to be a mean old scientist any more. And I wanted you to be the first to know."If a Robot Master could blush, Bass would be blushing now."Well, what about you, what trouble are you getting up to today?""Why, I've got an old friend to visit."
Dr. Light’s house was lined with decorations that Roll and Eddie had spent the last week putting up. Dr. Light himself was sitting at the coffee table, beaming to himself at the small pile of presents he had laid at the foot of the giant Christmas tree sitting in the middle of the living room. Rock was out in the front yard, shoveling snow with the help of Rush, when he saw a familiar flying saucer appear from the skies."Dr. Light! Everyone! It's Dr. Wily!" Rock called out. Everyone in the house immediately got up from whatever they were doing and ran to the front porch, a drill they had practiced for when Dr. Wily would arrive with one of his new schemes."Dr. Light, Mega Man! I have a surprise for you!" Dr. Wily's voiced boomed out from the Wily Machine's speakers.Rock stood at attention, ready to turn into his battle mode at a moment's notice.Dr. Wily's head finally popped up from the top of the saucer."And that surprise... is presents!"
From inside his saucer, Dr. Wily pulled out boxes, hastily wrapped in gift wrapping, and lobbed them onto the Lights' front lawn. He then hopped out himself, landing in front of the stunned Light family."Open them! We haven't got all day! It's Christmas!"Rock and Roll looked at each other, with just a hint of hope. Was Dr. Wily serious? Or was this another ploy?"If you won't open them, I'll get to them first!"Dr. Wily tore open the first present."For the brave Rock, a new soccer ball, and robot shorts to go with them!""For the lovely Roll, a beautiful new bow!""For the rowdy Rush, a robotic dog bone that will never break!"Dr. Wily was handing out presents so fast that nobody could get a word in. From Proto Man to Eddie to Auto to Tango to Beat, everyone got a present that was just right for them. Only when the last present was opened could everyone chime in with their thanks for the jolly old doctor.
Finally, Dr. Wily walked up to Dr. Light and thrust out his hand."And for Thomas, my old nemesis. This is my present for you: our rivalry ends today! No more, I say! And this time I mean it!"Dr. Light stood stunned, and then took his old friend's hand—their first handshake in many decades."Why, Albert? Why this all of a sudden?""Well, I've had a change of heart. Call it a Christmas miracle if you have to. The only thing we'll compete at from now on... is who can give the best presents! And I think I've got this one in the bag!"Everyone broke out in laughter: Dr. Wily's Christmas joy was infectious in the group.
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"Dr. Wily," started Rock, "Why don't you join us for Christmas lunch? Dr. Light has got a tremendous turkey leg he's been meaning to eat!""Rock, I would love to. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Christmas day, than to spend it with the world's greatest hero—Mega Man," Dr. Wily said patting the robot boy's head."It truly is a merry Christmas!" exclaimed Roll, clapping her hands together, leading the group into the house, where a fabulous Christmas feast awaited."No, this is more than a Merry Christmas. This is... a Mega Christmas!" said Rock."That's right, it's a Mega Christmas!" exclaimed Dr. Wily. "Mega Christmas, every one!"THE ENDArt by: A Slop Machine
