Do you have what it takes to win a presidential election, /v/? You are the decision-maker here. Let's start with a classic. Let's get going and try to win in 2004 as George W. Bush in a world where 9/11 never happened.
Question 1.
Okay, guess I'll get the ball rolling. How do we handle the SOTU address, /v/?
>>730538478Well, I guess I'll keep playing. Let's be hawkish.
>>730538478Nukyular weapons mass destruc'shnI'm george dubya bush i approve this message
>>730538675Well I did it for you! Time to visit a state. Where to, /v/? Looks like we have work to do...
>>730538828go to colorado and promise free marijuwanna.Im geroge dubya bush i approve dis message
>>730538828Uhhhhhhh........Colorado?
>>730539014Good choice! Colorado was still sort of a swing state in 2004. Now to deal with a pedo in your administration. Which one?
>>730539353Go on the news and say it's all a hoax by the kikes to stifle a Democratically elected administration.
>>730539557Pedo defended. Now how about getting a bill through?
>>730539641Let's just cave to the Democrats and move on. Poppy doesn't like it but it is what it is. Where to?
>>730539824Went to Missouri. How do we handle Rummy cooking the books?
>>730539980Might step away for a bit but will keep you guys posted.
>>730539980Fuck Dick Gephardt
Thoughts on stem cells?
>>730540601
Social security time, no lockboxes allowed
Said fuck it to social security. Now the fun stuff. What to do with the Taliban?
>>730541192Said fuck them. Now onto the gays.
I think /v/ is too dumb for this kind of game.
>>730541576Try your hardest not to fuck this one.
>>730541751Bulletpointing history isn't exactly a skill.
>>730541576Ignore the courts, secure american freedom.
>>730541797Sorry about your lesbo daughter, Dick. You'll make up for it in 20 years
What to do with Saddam?
>>730542117ALUMINUM TUBES?? Sounds dangerous, but I need something firmer. Maybe they have some steel beams?
Schwarzenegger arrives
>>730542441Well fuck you too, Arnie.
>>730542117Definitely gotta play this smart. Get Turd Blossom to help write a speech about liberals being Predators and how we're gonna make California our new Junior.
How to handle the UN?
>>730542683catapult the propaganda
Enron fallout
>>730542878better save face and FIRE EVERYONE
>>730542878Deny all responsiblity and accountability like any good politician.
>>730542878what's this about enron, stop talking about enron, enron is old news. we got bigger fish to fry like bombing brown people
War or no?
>>730543116RIDE OR DIEREMEMBER THE ALAMO
>>730543116https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzvfY0d7kGg
>>730543173Pathetic.
Is it time to Dump Dick?
>>730543256That is NOT a 2:! majority that is NOT a resounding defeat and BY THE GRACE OF BABY JESUS we WILL BE USING EXECUTIVE POWERS TO GET THIS RAGHEAD FOR WHAT HE DID TO THOSE LIMP-WRISTED WHITE-COLLAR LIBERAL FAGGOTS IN NEW YORK andtakeallofhisoilsuppliesandorpoppyseedsandmeansofopiumproduction
>>730543365this is /v/, Remove the Dick
>>730543365Dump that Dick. I'd rather we have Condoleezza Rice on the ticket, but anyone's enough to get Dick back out hunting and far away from the office.
>>730543365I can't remember, is this before or after he shot that guy in the face
How to approach the damn liberals?
>>730543535We gotta deal with these socialists who won't let us get a fair Congressional permission to declare war on goat farmers. Option 1 is a no-brainer.
>>730543535Bottom option
How to handle those crazy Massachusetts people? Please ignore the Bushes are from New England
>>730543535Fuckin Socialist Commies need to be taught a lesson, bring back McCarthy.
>>730543760We gotta do states rights. It's what men died for during that War of Northern Aggression. I'm not about to lose another Texan because some Massachusettian wants to commit the sin of sodomy on Sunday. Not this time.
>>730543760Option 2.
>>730543782WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING RIGHT
It's a super cereal run guys. What do we do?
>>730544097He lost, losers never win.
>>730544097Damn, option 3 is witty enough that I don't need to come up with a line this time.
>>730544097"Global warming" is a hoax and, just for this, we should go to war for MORE oil- er, I mean, to fight for MORE democracy.
>>730544248What will you talk about?
>>730544328I picked Poppy just because of this.
>>730544328Powell. Get that nig--African-American up there and you know that whites will see the light.
>>730544328Collin Powel. I like how the text is designed to sound bushlike.
>>730544462What the fuck... you made a choice without us? Has the voting system been rigged this whole time?!
>>730544464>>730544490Sorry but Poppy was too hard to resist. But how do we respond to Sore/Loserman?
>>730538179lol hahaahah "Armored core: Fire of Rubicon" Good job man! If i see another armored core game for the thousandth time being another game in the series that just keeps going like the energizer bunny, going and going and going and going ill think about donating to charity... that's how it feels. Must be 15 armored core games. "fires of rubicon!" suck me dry! Sell value for armored core has been through the preverbal roof for a thousand then ten thousand years now and you guessed it another title is fucking coming out again. Cool though, is all I am saying.
>>730544538Sumimasen, Anon. But we didn't fight any war so what's the point
>>730544557Bread and circuses, people. What do they have in common? Elephants. What's an elephant? A conservative with a good memory. Bread and circuses. Option 2.
>>730544462>JebIt only took a tooltip in a video game for /ourpresident/ to get his dues.
>>730544647I will never let you live this down.
>>730544557Ignoring the problem is always the optimal solution.
>>730544647I didn't mean to post this in this thread, sorry. Uh good for with the politics and shit, whatever. Later.
>>730544673What to do about guns?
>>730544647>>730544927Stay!
>>730545161Stay the course. Treat it like a kidney stone and just pass it.
>>730545161Pass now, worry later.
>>730545270"Focus, W."
>>730544726VIVA HEB!>>730544927ok BUT if theres' any giant robot options or gun options, we gotta roll with that, just for AC. >>730545161THREE. WE CALL IT THE ARMORED CORE DEFENDING HUMAN FREDOM ACT.
>>730545359All of these are so ass I can only hope to pray-->*answer accepted*aww, fiddlefucks!
>>730545359The no child left behind system did wonders for the average /v/irgin, let's boast about that.
>>730545456Please pick one option.
>>730545596True my black ass wouldn't be a doctor today without that shit
>>730545596Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back.
>>730545759JEEBUS
>>730545759Defense would be smartest but hearing Arnie tell the People they need Jayesaws is too important to ignore. Think of the Predator memes we could do with ol' JC.
>>730545817I mean the canon /v/ option I think is the video games but it's up to you, the people.
>>730545759Option 3 actually made me snort so I'm going to have to go with that one.
>>730545932Number 4 is the best choice because who gives a FUCK about the guy who invented the internet, anyways?
>>730546117How do you beat Mr. Atari Democrat?
>>730545932I've got a man we can call in to end these disgustingly violent video games.
>>730546178I'm leaving this one to the next person because I can't decide between 1 or 4. 1 is smart but 4 is more Dubya.
>>7305463624 is what I'll go with if you want me to be full Dubya. Cool?
>>730546407Cooler than polar bear on ice skates with sunglasses.
>>730546407Different Anon, but I'm all for going full Dubya.
>>730546487>>730546504What do we do about these crazy libs?
>>730546615I'M HAVING PTSD ABOUT JANE REFUSING TO SMUGGLE NOTES OUT OF PRISON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHREE THREE 33 3 3 3 3 3 3THREEEEE
>>730546615Let's see how they like it when REAL Americans start protesting.
>>730546725How do you respond to Gore without sounding mad?
>>730546813Number 2 is what the bald eagle demands. Its war cry brings a tear to my eye and I ain't about to let Bacon Boy be forgotten.
>>730546813More rallies. Never stop rallying
>>730546981Where do we spend our final days?
>>730547029this is dubya, the bar
>>730547029What option has the most/best drugs?
>>730547076You almost feel bad for him
Best of luck, Mr. President.
>this threadMan, conservacucks really were always bad, huh?
>>730547164OH GODOH NOPOPPY
>>730547234Did Al Gore run a "traditional Southern" campaign or something?!
>>730547234YOU FUCKING SOUTHERN TRAITORS ONE WAR WASN'T ENOUGH
>>730547234>>730547316>>730547326
>>730547234>>730547316I DEMAND A FUCKING RECOUNT.
>>730547316What in the goddamn?! How did we lose Florida?!
>>730547373
>>730547413>>730547391>>730547387I even tried focusing on swing states when given the option...
>>730544647dumb nigger
>>730547456
>>730547456Couldn't even get the popular vote... What a fuck-up... What a goddamn monumental disaster... Oh, God... I just wanna... wanna go paint, watercolor, something...
Goddamn, this ending.
Gore having fun trying to put solar panels in Afghanistan
Closest state? Colorado. Thanks for playing /v/! I hope you enjoyed. May try another game later, with a different scenario. Did you like it?
>>730547316>>730547391How the FUCK did bush lose texas?>>730547456That might have been the problem. Historically, Bush 2 won by heavily motivating the base, not going for swing states.
>>730547793NO MR. KOJIMBO I DIDN'T LIKE ITWE LOST TO A FUCKING WHALEHUMPING WEEDSMOKING BIRDKILLING FIBEROPTICS FUCKTARD
>>730547793hilariously enraging.>>730547509>jeb cant' bail you out of this one.
>>730547951I've played this scenario multiple times and I have won one (1) time once I boot Cheney from the ticket. People just don't want someone that unstable.
Even if you win every electoral vote in this mod, your dad still isn't proud of you.
>>730548207my dad isnt proud of meor poppy isnt proud of dubya
>>730548389Poppy is never proud of Dubya in this mod, if you win every electoral vote he basically says "yeah yeah don't let it get to your head or whatever"
>>730548524oh haha i thought you were talking about my dad haha
Alright, let's get down to business. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. Buckle up, /v/.
>>730548701Choose your fighter, /v/.
>>730548701I'm surprised this scenario exists. You'd think they'd want a long pause between real-world events so flames can die down...>>730548751Should we bring the Joepedo to sink SS Trump, or should we have Zion Don take the long way home while we're Ridin' with Biden...?
>>730548835They're both good but it depends what you want. First person to say it gets it.
>>730548902I flipped a coin and it came up JOE
>>730549030Let's go, Joe!
>>7305491023, gotta pretend to be neutral and pull the rug out when they least expect it.
>>730549202Not sure Merrick Garland would do that but okay.
>>730549102Doug Jones because it made me think of Doug Jones
>>730549251Obama.
This thread seems interesting>>730549251pass everything before the end of the year
>>730549354I HATE JOE MANCHINI HATE JOE MANCHINI HATE JOE MANCHIN
>>730549252I forgot to attach a pic but it's irrelevant.
>>730549429> a child tax credit plana what?
>>730549429Autopen Joe says 3.
>>730549583You said it! Now do we intervene in the Speaker chaos?
>>730549645Bail out McCuckney.
Speaking of speaker, how the fuck does someone like Hakeem Jefferies even become a big enough name?
>>730549727It is taking everything in me not to click the trillion dollar coin option, bros. Please let me.
>>730549873Coin up.
>>730549951Here's a watershed one. Are you running in 2024 or not? It isn't a trick/joke option, the game changes up.
Man this game really makes me realized how doomed to fail every president basically is without some meme issue.
>>730550041WE GOT MORE SUGAR IN THE TANK TO KEEP RIDIN' WITH BIDEN
>>730550041Joe is unstoppable. RIDIN WITH BIDEN
>>730538478I tell the country im a fjcking lying faggot and planting the seeds if fascism so a few dumb fucks cam get rich.
>>730550116>>730550123How do you respond to SCOTUS torpedoing your student loan policy?
>>730549873I honestly wish they did the trillion dollar coin thing for real. The debt ceiling shit is so fucking stupid and always ends up being resolved with more money printing anyway.
>>730550196Fuck idk. 2 is the sensible answer, but Biden didn't have a sensible solution. Also no choice to force these cucks to pay up.1.
>>730550392What are you giving Zelensky?
>>7305501961 because it's bullshit Americans can't declare bankruptcy on student loans but non-Americans can rack up debt, get a free Western education, and then fuck off back to Turgidcockistan without paying.
>>730550472AMERICA, FUCK YEAHCOMING ALONG TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY YEAHAMERICA, FUCK YEAHoption 2
>>730550472All these SUCK. Jesus Christ. The first 2 is really not enough but 3 is so ambiguous I don't even know what it is vs the other 2.2 is probably the best for Americans because muh jobs for gaytheon and shit.
>>730550556How do you react to the arrest?
>>730550632Go all in on him with a scripted shit smear. I pick 2 a second time!
I regret my coin picking Joe now. 1
>>730550753Did not turn out well. Anyway, another fucking speakership battle.
>>730550842kekFREE MUH NIGGA JEFFRIES or some shiet
>>730550842House Majority Whip outta WHIP them into shape, right?
>>730550927>One optionAnyway moving on
>>730550989More Israel stuff.
I'm abstaining.
>>730551030I know option 1 is the real pick, but go wildcard and pick 2 for me.
>>730551030Last call before I pick what I want.
>>730551296You can just do stuff. Now onto the border.
>>7305510301, fuck Hamas
>>730551296This is the pick we all want to take, but don't have the political capital to make.... Based Joe!
>>7305513603, spin it as a win for both sides. Appeasing the border hawks is the smart money on this, can't let Donny have it all the time
>>730551360Gotta be 3, take the wind out of Drumpf's sails before he gets a chance to blowhard.
>>730551464>trillion dollar meme coin>disavows Israel >string on borderChuds won in this timeline.
>>730551464Done. Oh boy! A debate in June 2024! What do we do?
>>730551553If we're trying to beat blumpf for real, 2 is probably the only way.
>>730551553There's really no good option here. But the chaos of bringing Robert Kennedy in on it might at least deflect the memes AWAY from us in the aftermath
>>730551668>>730551703By doing that IIRC we are locked to Biden just so you know.
>>730551875GOOD. I don't care how hard we have to play Weekend at Bernie's with Joe's addlepated ass, having Harris at the top of the ticket is motherfucking death
>>730551875Number 3 is so insanely based we gotta do it
>>730552000Plus it looks like we're getting a ceasefire deal. Which option?
>>730552019Netanyahu's allies fucked it. But at least Joe's trying
Im riden with biden
>>730551875Based? Joepedo cannot be stopped. Kamablah was a bad pick. Even corn pop would have been a better VP, and he was a bad dude. >>730552019 this
>>730551875Ehh, 2 seems reasonable enough. I feel like Bibi is gonna kneecap us no matter what happens here
>>730552129>>730552000I am wrong, I believe >>730552094 is where we can really fuck it.
>>730552094Georgia is definitely a Medicare and ACA state, pick 3
>>730552094We must BEAT MEDICARE
>>730552178You knew what you were doing, you sly dog.
>>730552228>>730552178>>730552234One option, but it is actually possible for it to happen on the Trump side.
>>730552284What do you say about JD?
>>7305520941 or 4 maybe? My gut says 4 but with him off his game maybe it's a trap
>>730551360>>730551464>>730551527I would go with One.The problem with 3 is that if anyone cares to rebute it, stating that securing the border increases legal immigration is wrong. People with the funds and the means to enter legally already do so. Illegal immigration is their last resource.I mean if I wanted a public excuse I would say it is because of all the Bad Hombres that enter illegally which are a risk to national security, cause mixed sentiments toward foreigners, and ultimately to strike down drug cartels so it is all in all to protect the sovereignty of the US.>>730551553Robert Kennedy in the context of the time looked like a bozo but he is doing good stuff for the department of health, the man genuinely cares. Correct me if I am wrong but I have not heard anyone complain about him specifically, well no one that isn't a faggot with his hair dyed pink or green.That said, how important was he to Magatards?Options 1 and 3 are the same.
>>730552330Pick 3 since Vance gave women the ick
Just a status update. Guys, we really have to tread carefully and think about what we're doing. If we get a dropout option we can't just go for the joke stay in meme.
>>730552330They all suck but I think the other anon is right. 3 is the only move.
>>7305523302, all the other options are weak as fuck
>>730552449Relatedly.
>>730552449We are so so fucked
>>730552449Grim. I now know how Joe! felt. This simulator is raping my mind. I'm guessing the anti Israel shit really fucked us hard.
>>730552346He was important only insofar that he was on board for releasing the FBI files revealing who really shot JFK, but everyone's forgotten about that literally the day after the files were released and it was revealed the US did, in fact, assassinate their own president for him opposing us leaving the gold standard.>>7305525281 is the sure pick.
>>7305525282 goddammit STABILIZE STABILIZE
>>730552621OH GOD HERE SHE COMES
>>730552528It's over...
>>730552693It's Joever
>>730552693So over.
>>730552330The hell is this writing?what's the context? I am late into this thread, who made this? This writing seems very odd.Is there like a Trump path as well?
>>730552759There is, yes. It's all written in character.
>>730552693>>730552758wtf? Did we just get coup'd?
>>730552693>>730552758
Well, what now? It's early days.
Kamala is such a shitty candidate holy fucking God
>>730552825Trump ran on a Not Hillary campaign, so we can work on a Not Trump campaign. Pick 2!
>>730552825Fuck it. All in. We go HARD from the start, raw fucking aggression will win this. 4
>>730552825Fuck idk 2It's joever.
So this just railroads you into reality, huh? Kinda weak
>>730552910Veepstakes time! Which white/Jewish guy do we pick?
>>730553009If you play better you can stay in as Biden.
>>730552862I honestly think if they just juiced Joe up with drugs, he would have recovered. I think him getting couped was still absolutely nuts. 2024 was fucking whack desu.
>>730553009It seems like it could have been avoided but we didn't have enough Joementum(tm) to accelerate over that pitfall of a debate
>>730552528Three I suppose.I don't see any good in talking to the Goyim and NATO doesn't matter.
>>730553015Unironically Shapiro, Kelly and Beshear are asshats and Walz... Oh FUCK that noise. Benji's gonna fuck us over if we don't go pro-kike now.
>>730553015Who's the craziest? Fuck stability, we need to get crazy
>>730553078>Joementum(tm)
>>730553015Mark Kelley. Rest are too Jewish, retarded or literally who.
>>730553107I must admit this: as a straight man I think Chappell Roan has some good music and I think she's hot. Shame she's a lesbian
>>730553107Ok this is true too. We're deep red because Israel is beating us...
>>730552693No option to use Biden Blast?>>730552825Three because it is the right call.But four because it is fucking hilarious.Reddit storming the capitol was some funny shit since it all read like a glowie psyop, and reddit felt for it hook, line and sinker. The media worked tirelessly to make it seem like the average glue-eating redditor could pose a threat, meanwhile Pro-Palestinians were allowed inside a congress session and any of them could had have detonated themselves or attempt to stab a senator.Not only the average American did not give a fuck about January 6, I believe the media did a better job creating a slander campaign against GamerGate than they did for January 6.It was at this time democrats should have realized the media exerts less control on the population than they think.
>>730553437Which is the most lesbian choice?
>>730553437I'm going with 4, got to keep punching
>>7305534374 is the smartest choice. Ignore the real concerns and highlight what we all agree on. Eat the rich, and use their money to fund private schools and Israel without telling anyone.
>>730553575Do we dump Diamond Joe?
>>730553670That filthy fucking goy tried to make Israel look bad on the world stage. Fuck him!
>>730553670Before you answer, please consult the charts.
>>730553758How do we close out the DNC?
>>730553820Your fist is about the size of your heart, so spread the love. 3!
>>730553910Tariff time!
>>730553437I would go for One and present Kamala as a sensible option.Tax the rich and attack corporate America is not what interests want to hear after a pandemic and if it was a strong position Bernie would had been up there, not to mention all Democrats are multi millionaires themselves so it always seems baseless and phony.
>>7305539902 is so obvious it's literally screaming at us
>>7305539733. Keep up the Never Trump ideology. Remain sensible despite the weird squint you do when you smile for the camera which makes you look deranged.
I played this shit, trying to win the 1860 election as Stephen A. DouglasBest I got was stopping Lincoln from getting a majority and causing a deadlockWhat I don't get is the same answer to the same question sometimes gave me votes, other times took them away in the same states.
>>730554095What do you do at the debate?
>>7305542262 or 4, the more pressure we put on Trump the more likely he is to say something completely off script and thats our only chance
>>730554226YAAS QVEEN SLAAAAAY
>>730554226Let Trump spew. Let him have all of the airtime. Let the audience get bored with his ramblings, and then hit him with the ol' "feel better now, sweetie?" Pick 1.
>>730553670Two, but damn, that's cold.>>730553820Four, Two is based though.>>730553973Three.Democrats don't bring up finances and economics nearly hard enough, it is always some bullshit.People want to hear that prices will go down and jobs offers will be plentiful.
>>730554323Where do we stand on the border?
>>730547234>>730547316Just realized that red are the democrats on this map, still impressive
>>730554409Tough one. 2 inspires confidence, though, and Trump's making enough of an ass of himself that we don't need to swing here.
>>730554552THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. What do you say?
>>730554409please just do 1, that's all you had to do
>>730554606Fuck, what ever happened with that anyway?
>>730554606I can't think of a funny way to derail this one. Pick 1.
What does our ev estimate look like?
>>730554668swept under the rug just like the sewer jews
>>730554676One last chance to dump him.
>>730554728Much like the actual campaign...hence why >>730554775 matters.
>>730554775Cut with Bidenworld. We have Bibi with us through Shapiro.
>TCT thread on main /v/Nice, hope we get a GOP TTNW playthrough next op.
>>730554775>Bidenworldkek literally who?!
>>730554965Understatement of the year award
>>730555006Yeah, that sounds fun. This run is my last one of the night though.
>>730555032It is a cursed situation to be in, but we have to support our greatest ally... even if this Faustian bargain is turning our Jewish friends into ewige Jude... 3, please.
>>730555032Israel calls for aid, Row--America must answer
>>730555134Another day, another Joe in the way of breaking that glass ceiling. What's our plan?
>>730554668Maybe ICE solved it?>>730554606This was a strangely popular meme and Trump lost some respect even when it really happened.Like a bigger version of NEDM.I ignore why people like to mock other people reactions despite the occurrence. If for instance, a building was on fire and someone shouted for help very weirdly, people would make fun of that man, even if his elderly mother was burning inside.So yeah, lean into making Trump seem like a rabid lunatic, that was the only W Kamala got.
>>730555193I'm so glad the Indian shitposter on /pol/ can't answer this one. Let's pick 1 and see what happens.
>>730555278"You appeared on Howard Stern and Call Her Daddy, is Joe Rogan really too much?"How do we handle Musk?
>>730555032Oh yeah, I remember this part."Who is the bestest GOY."No party ever condemned Israel.Trump won this piss contest by a large margin.Not siding with Bibi was a huge mistake.
>>7305553831. The only way to beat money is to get money for ourselves. Well, primarily us, but that's besides the point. We need a nest egg.
>>730555482Trump says thing. What do we say?
>>730555193>We need the black men vote>LEGALAZITE ITKek.That one Joe Rogan interview did have 61M views.Joe Rogan might be the only talk show that matters.
>>730555558You can't shout louder than him. He won't stop shouting. 3, gotta be.
>>7305555583 is the only option that is going to help us. The rest is just worthless virtue signaling that won't get us any votes.
I can't believe this shit was only a year and a few months ago.
>>730555634>>730555701Despacito, how do you handle what that guy said about Puerto Rico
>>730555736Another sit back and cruise decision. Number 3, Number 3, Number 3, Number 3.
>>730555736>Literally not a single good optionFuck it, 1. Let's get this fascist narrative rolling.
>>730555838Last option. Doesn't look good from polls.
>>730555895The wall. But it doesn't matter.
>>730555895I read option 4 as being last minute brainwashing. I'm being assimilated. Let's pick 2.
>>730555895Field niggers hate house niggers... Shapiro's giving us Penn... Latinos? Latinos. But the Biden Blast in our homeland... He could destroy the whole planet in 5 minutes...
>>730555383You are fucked.Legal actions take months you don't have and a fundraiser makes you seem desperate.>>730555558Three.Realistically Trump always had a great control of the spotlight.Even when you are address him, you are making him the protagonist.This is why basing your entire campaign on attacking Trump never worked, to the average person it always seemed like you were one step or two behind him.Actually changing candidates practically at the last moment was the moment it all went straight to hell.
>>730555895>>730555965>>730555975>>730556032Never fucking hire campaign management from /v/, worst decision of my life.
I've played this like five or six times now and I STILL can't get Biden elected. I got Nikki Haley elected but not Biden
>>730556179
>>730556179AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE BIDEN BLAST
>>730556259
>>730556305yaas kween slayy
>>730556305>Loses popular vote by 8%>Walking away with head held highAccurately captures her delusion, fair.
>>730556179Guys... we managed to lose to Trump by an extra 17 points...
>>730556382It did be like that, Mr. Stancil.
>>730556439I'm sorry, a loss that bad and your name would be a laughingstock
>>730556497>>730556439You just can't get a woman into the White House, that's why it's called the WHITE House...
>>730556497I don't get the Palestinian poetry slides.
>>730556392"We" got coup'd it wasn't fair. Bidenworld Atari democrats would have pulled out a W if we trusted the plan.
>>730556549Somehow we made ILLINOIS a swing state. Glad we could do this, /v/. No more tonight but glad to see you all enjoy this.
>>730556640No! We need... we gotta fix this! Someone was shitposting! You all saw that, right?! You saw the obvious shitposting?! The election AND the decisions were rigged! We can fix this! I'll just post numbers first and explanations later! We can make things right!!
>>730555736Was that show any good? At the peak of multiculturalism (the 90s) ethnic comedy was very popular. Race relationships only deteriorated when leftists banned laughter.The answer is 3.Even when all the tranny shit did really piss off women.
My next /v/ plays will be the GOP Things That Never Were campaign.
>>730555060>>730556640>This run is my last one of the night though.>No more tonight but glad to see you all enjoy this.Not OP but since he's not going to run another game, I could do one. Which would you like to play?>ALL THE WAY An LBJ 1968 scenario, where Johnson tries to be re-elected against all odds.>Things That Never WereA 1972 scenario where RFK Sr doesn't get shot and becomes president after beating Nixon, you can play as either RFK or the GOP who needs to find a candidate to run.
>>730557036OP here. I love All the Way so that would be my vote.
>>730557036Since OP wants to host Things That Never Were, let's do ALL THE WAY LBJ
>>730557036TTNW just to see what awful work of pop-culture /v/ creates.
>>730555895I would have gone with two.Arizona did flip regardless but strangely enough Kamala lost the white hispanic vote.I remember watching the election stream at kiwifarms and PPP shouting that latinos came in to help Trump in his darkest hour and Josh making fun of the situation "Lo seinto ese but you are taking our jobs and you have to go back"
>>730557301>strangelyFor the upteenth time, Latinos love border control because the ones who are here legally want Central America to stay the fuck away from their comfortable lives in the US.
>>730557169>>730557207>>730557273All The Way it is!
>Game has an ending slide showhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gFJnswgALgKino.
Well Anon things aint looking to good and they will only get much worse, and do you plan stemming the tide?>Listen For Best Experiencehttps://youtu.be/4ytX3IaFHGk?si=qstThjZonX4Okp-2
>>730557876Bask in these high numbers, you will never see them again
>>730557876The most important thing here is the war on poverty. No one will give two shits about war or crime if people are getting their slice of the pie, and Rockefeller is more like a Cockfellater if you ask me.
>>730558086One for war on poverty, any objections?
>>730557876>>730558086
>>730558178He right
>>730557876THE FIGHT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!
>>730558382Fuckin' Panthers and Commies need to learn to shut their yaps and let Fred Flintstone get this shit shoveled, goddammit!>>730558553Goddamn retard looking at trees and can't see the fuckin' jungle! Get your ass outta there, you small blue ballsack, we got shit to deal with that doesn't involve Charlie!
Is answering the questions all there is to the game or is there more to it that you're not screenshotting?
>>730558749One for *totally not a retreat, any others?>>730558785Yeah.
>>7305585531, these colors don't run no matter how many hippies scream
>>730558785You answer the questions and (usually) pick the states you're going to focus on campaigning in. That's it. The thing is that how much those answers actually change varies hugely between mods and a lot of the most popular ones choices are extremely important.
>>730558956One or three? Some Anon break the tie.
>>730559065Coinflip it!
>>730559065Three
>>730558553>>730559237We are committing war crimes nigga.
>>730558553>>730559463Kim grabbed some of our guys!>Sick beats to get soldiers stolen tohttps://youtu.be/bI8P6ZSHSvE?si=IxOwDZSYkR_uj2sV
>>730559463I take back what I said, that's way more based than I expected. Leave it to LBJ to turn the retreat option into "poison the slants and scorch the very earth">>7305596341 for sure. This is either a big W or a big L and the other three just swallow the humiliation
>>730559463If Patton could make the Japanese piss purple, then we can make Koreans piss orange! Fuck does a pencil-pushing fudge-packing poindexter know about war, anyhow?!>>730559634Option 4, dammit! I'm not gonna lose red-blooded American blood but I'm not gonna sit with my thumb up my ass neither!
>>730559815>>730559819If this post end number is 5 or lower we go with one, 6 or higher option 4
>>730559965The King or Games blesses our quick retaliatory strike
>>730559965Pinkos don't want you to know this but you can just bomb your enemies.
>>730559634>>730560105Update: you actually can't just bomb your enemies. Fuck
>>730560105Get fucked commies, and your hippie minions too
>>730560105Show me one baby killed, Kent State! One fucking fetus, you goddamn morons!!>>730560326The small blue ballsack has once again let us down. It's time to talk to poindexter after all. We've been fucked, hard, and those homosexuals sure know how to get the soreness out of the ass after that much of a fucking.
>>730560326I wanna do 3 or 4 but I just know some leaked info at the worst time will blow it up. Fuck it, go 3, whats the worst that could happen?
>>730560469>>730560590Two for McNamara! That must be... OH NO! Maybe committing war crimes might be a little unpopular...
>>730560942Motherfucker
>>730560326>>730560942The New Hampshire primary is coming up, this is a make or break moment Anon.>Songs to cry to after losing your own party primarieshttps://youtu.be/A24JZkgvNv4?si=YaiqxWiGx8o7RBGM
>>730561178>That kidIs RFK Sr (Who really hates you personally) by the way.
>>730560942(I actually voted for option 2, the small blue ballsack is Westmoreland >>730558749. I'm gonna chalk this up to me losing the coin toss a second time. Don't fuck me over a third time, 'McNamara', or you're going to wake up in a New Jersey meatpacking factory with a hook shoved up your ass, courtesy of Sinatra himself.)>>730561178Option 4, just fucking cut that snake's head off and be done with it right from the start. I'm not going to suffer a coup and I'm not going to be backstabbed by some third-rate candidate with a fourth-rate slogan!
>>730561178We "lost" Vietnam so this shit is all over but the crying.4, I guess
>>7305611784
>>730561289>I actually voted for option 2Ah Sorry its just that this scenario literally refers to McNamara as "Poindexter">>730561392>>730561467Four it is!
>>730561529>>730561178Another big choice, this one will give you different questions with different answers down the line so pick carefully.
>>730561529(Well, shoot, that's unfortunate. I'm too in-character. I'm drowning on slang.)Can't even get a supermajority these days, goddamn, but now we know, now I know who's holding the knives on the Senate floor, you rat bastards! Hope it was worth it, maybe next time you'll get your greasy palms off the hilts and back onto each other's dicks!>>730561717We gotta get those boys home. I don't give a shit about slant eyes fighting for rice in marshland, and I don't give a damn about hippies neither. I'm sick of this shit and need to get this albatross off my neck.
>>730561529I swear this shit was decided with how Tet is handled. Prove me wrong and pull this off somehow.>>7305617173 god damn it. One big win and maybe we can leave this jungle with our balls intact
>>7305617173, if the enemy is dead there is no way we can lose.
>>730561823>>730561873>>730561908TWO FOR THREE, ONE FOR TWO. WE'RE GOING ALL IN.
>>730562116This decision locked you out from ever having Bill Clinton as president, interestingly.
>>730562116LET'S FUCKING GO
I will drown indochina in blood and I will drink sake from hollowed out hippie skulls on a throne built on Kremlin rubble
>>730562116Quick map update: Its bad.>>730562274Patriot.
>>730562323Honestly I expected it to be worse.
>>730562116You've heard of McNamara's Morons, now introducing Wheeler's Wetards
>>730561717>>730562116Bobby's on your ass, get his ass back.Oh yeah and your war support is labeled "No Turning Back" And your Anti-War Energy is "Militant Opposition" just thought I'd let you know.
>>7305626182 maybe
>>730562116Only two things comes out of Texas, steers and queers, and that boy didn't have any horns!>>730562618Gotta pick 1. Bobby ain't Jack. He doesn't have the balls for this. He should know how little he's carrying, considering how often he hangs around those oil slicks prancing and preaching equality!
and the retards still wonder why they lost
>>730562735>>730562815If nobody breaks the tie in a few minutes then end post numbers decide 1 5- or 2 6+
>>730562870Oh yeah smart guy? Well how would you fix it?
>>7305630022.
>>730563026>>730562735>>730562815Two wins out! But can Bobby be trusted?
>>730563137Doesn't matter in the long run. Having him on-side right now is a win
>>730562618>>730563137Big choice, this will be what LBJ prioritizes. Gives you different options a little later.
>>7305633073.
>>7305633073 or 4 has my support, whichever gets another vote. 1 feels like a death sentence even if it's true
>>730563137You just know those Kennedy rats are all proud that Bobby's reaching goals he never aspired to. That boy's going to perch himself comfortably on a lowly height while the big dogs up top finish what the chinks and gooks started.>>730563307If we don't get sambo under control, we're gonna see helter-skelter. We gotta give a talk about peace and shit for a bit before we can get the engines roaring again.
>>730538179The Biden 88 one they did kicked ass, when you realize what's going on it's so good
>>730563393>>730563413>>730563465Lead is starting to fly on home turf, hopefully not a sign of things to come...
>>730563624We just can't catch a break with this shit. Is it too late to form a gestapo?
>>730563307>>730563624#THEBANKSAREOUTOFGOLD>Tunes to horde your gold tohttps://youtu.be/1Oe06936C0c?si=GR8rbTeDiqWqJPd1
>>730563831I am goddamned awful with money and economic issues. 4 sounds decisive though. Go with that I guess
>>730563624I'm so fuckin' tired of these goddamn jiggaboos playing their goddamn monkey games on my streets! Booth, you sunnuvabich, why couldn't you have shot that lanky bearded bastard sooner?!>>730563831It started in London, and London fucked us. They gave us the Beatles, and I'm going to give that cigar-sucking Butterball a beatdown if he and that French fuck don't get their shit together and keep us afloat. We saved them from speaking German, goddammit!
>>730564019I'm breaking character to say that if you're being genuine and not baiting I need your home address right now so I can fuck you in the ass since you seem to REALLY like getting fucked in the ass with that decision you just made.
>>730564079Gold standard bad? It bad, that's why we no have it no more. Krunk read it in book, book no lie to Krunk
>>730564019>>730564027>>730564079We are going with two because the Anon who said Four is currently being sodomized.
>>730563831>>730564326Just because everything is falling apart doesn't mean laws can stop being made.
>>730564440Hmmmmm 3
>>730564440Map update: New York is in play.
>>730564326WHERE'S THE JOKE, FUCKLEY?!>>730564440I'm between a rock and a nuclear bomb. Either I give those sambos what they want or I make Cronkite-wannabes eat crow... Well, I ain't about to shake hands with a darkie. We're going to pass that Revenue and Tax Bill, and we're going to get both the war shit and the money shit handled. Get that done, and we'll put an end to the protestors and our cotton-pickers under control, too.
>>730564560>>730564713I decide to tie break and chose three because RFK would have thrown a fit and attempt to fuck you over if you didn't try to pass a Civil Rights bill. But don't worry Jerry Ford can fuck you himself.
i cant stop giggling at how the longer this plays out the more racist this guy becomes
>>730564986I figured we needed some extra good boy points with the way things have been going
>>730565041Well it is the Civil Rights era. The real one, not the fake ass self fellating performative one we're living through right now
>>730564986>>730565070Look Anon, you got the wholesome 100 achievement.
>>730565276Yay I secured the democratic negro vote for the next 70...(looks at calendar) 60 years!
>>730564440>>730564986While Bobby's been dealt with the ultimate peacenik Eugene McCarthy has come back for revenge! How should we keep these hippies down?
>>7305655013. Fuck the peacenik. Drown him.
>>730564986>>730565276More money wasted on gatorbait will hopefully mean less money wasted on caskets. At least Birmingham should save money on its water bill next year and the radio will stop broadcasting Barry McGuire.>>730565501We've got fucking nothing thanks to helping egot get equal rights. Working with the Kennedys and needing to sate Melon Johnny means we're out of focus. We actually do need to do something. We're hitting three.
>>7305655012. Don't gain the favor of the masses, gain the favor of the people who hold the keys.
>>730565501Hmmmm 3. Lions, rabbits, etc.
>>730565586>>730565649>>730565713>>730565729Hippies, just like the cockroach have a horrifying level of resistance to being stomped out with full force.
>>730565904I fucking hate hippies! Look at what this is doing to our children!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2ZwJiK0fJ0
>>730565501>>730565904We're running out men faster then the damn vietcong!
>>7305661673. Ease off to stop the whining. No need to involve a Trudeau for any reason.
>>730566167>TrudeauOh yeah Justin had a father who ran in politics as well that wasn't Fidel Castro, I almost forgot.
>>730565904Instead of tugging on heartstrings he should go back to tugging on shafts at the YMCA, pansy fuck, limp-wristed little weasel...>>730566167Oh, great, now we have to placate the kid-fuckers? Goddamn yellow-skinned fucks need to implement some breeding program to cull their numbers, they're breeding like fucking roaches. Call Clark, we're choking just like the altar boys after Mass over here.
>>730566263>>7305663702 5- or 3 6+ end numbers.
>>730566484i dont know what that meansflip a coin
>>7305659044, anyone will fight if they got a gun pointed at them from behind
>>7305664843.
>>7305661673Meanwhile, in Vietnamhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz04mwXeBGQ
>>730566614https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32YpzE00BMU
>>730566484Well that was pointless, give a president a break!>>730566547The end numbers on a post are randomly generated, choosing which to pick based on if they are higher or lower then 5 so it's pretty much a coin flip.
>>730566675This was a surprisingly good anime.
>>730566596Da komissar
>>730566167>>730566865It was bad enough with the sea the unwashed protesting the war but now the Joe Schmoes are getting involved!
>>730567073Map Update: Fuck.
>>730567073Time for a visit to Saigon.
>>730566865I guess we got some points out of that. Maybe? How's it lookin?>>730567073>clergymenIt was fucking nothing!Fucking 2 god dammit
>>730566865Look, son, would you rather die a hero spreading democracy and freedom, or be killed by a tar baby that thought you looked at him funny while walking down your street? Or do you mean to tell me you're more scared of a zipperhead than a hambone?>>730567073>>730567130If they're gonna hate us, then they're gonna hate us. We're going to Saigon, baby!
>>730567130G R I MRIM
>>730567130
>>730567073LBJ will win the war himself, with his own bare hands. First he'll go to Saigon, then to Hanoi.
>>730567183>>730567207>>730567262>>730567331Don't let grim talk dissuade you, thanks to this choice the polls are doing better, now instead of a landslide loss it's just a normal loss. :)
>>730567073>>730567467Westmoreland was a jobber, now we got a REAL NIGGA. How do we turn the tide?
>>730567646You know what they say, the best defense is a good offense. Fuck the lines, we go.
I would love a Hitler game
>>730567467I'm sick of this shit. Killing JFK wasn't worth it.>>730567646I don't want this land. I want these buck-toothed rice-munching straw-hat shit-for-brains godless fucks to blown off the face of the fucking planet. May Sherman smile up at as from Hell. We're taking option 1.
>>730567331LBJ. PEACE THROUGH VICTORY>>730567646Oof the first option would be a meatgrinder. I'm going with 4, we fuck them and we fuck them hard and we don't stop when they try to give us the safe word
>>730567646What are the odds 3 would IMMEDIATELY get reported on? I'm thinking 100%
>>730567646Clear and hold takes too long. It's an election, we need results NOW. 4 is the only real path to victory. BOOTS ON THE GROUND!
>>730567748>>730567784>>730567806>>730567872>>730567898Three for four, one for one. The plan is simple, KILL THE BASTARDS.
>>730568015If we lose the election but win the Vietnam war I'll consider that a victory.
>>730568080Same, same
>>730568015I meant 4. I don't know why I put 1. It should've been 4 for 4. I'm old. I'm tired. I feel burdened as a white man running the world's freedom factories.
>>730567646>>730568015Mass enemy casualties isn't enough for the American people because McCarthy is still gaining on you.
Obamanation is kino (mostly because of the music)
>>730568195I hope he meets his commie friends someday when he joins them in hell and apologizes that he couldn't stop LBJ from sending them there early
>>730568195Let the nation know that McCarthy is a fucking bitch.
>>730568195This one's tough. Iron's hot with the war... but maybe, just maybe, Bobby will pull through for us in the end. I'm leaning in with 4. I want every frostbite, wetback, and slope knowing that I got shit done for them, and they fucking owe me California!
>>730568195>either he's yellow or he's redThe soundbite is too good, we have to roll with this one
>>730568195We stood in fucking Saigon. Did McCarthy? 3
>>730568304>>730568308>>730568348>>730568356Four for calling McCarthy out, one for four. Good job?
>>730568523A wins a win. Now get back to Washington and do your job you weaselly little shit
>>730568523Appetizers finished. Now it's time to eat a Dick
>>730568195>>730568523Promises made, but can promises be kept? Sorry Anon but you have to give black people rights, you told Bobby you would.>Songs to win the black vote tohttps://youtu.be/hIqwzQ7g-Cc?si=-oVDaGISOVDAOwdl
>>730568713I thought we already did this? Go with 3, time to put a bullet in the back of this thing's head we have other shit to do
>>730568713LICK EM
>>730568713North won once it'll do it again. Let's get this shit over with so we can get back to 'nam.
>>730568825>>730568842>>730568902Lyndon gives bad head since that licking did no good.
>racist anon noticeably absent during this voterly makes u think
Good evening, I absolutely hate the South and have a very large penis. I love to smoke and WILL intimidate you.
>>730568961>with this bill's passageSounds to me like they got licked>dey madSomeone's mad at LBJ? Holy shit this is unprecedented.
>>730569014Now is not the time to be racist against black people. Now is the time to be racist against communism.
>>730568713>>730568961Agnew who? It's DICK & BUSH lassoing the Republican Nomination.
>>7305691762. Soft Nixon is losing it.
>>730569176We're calling Tricky Dick a retard and that's final, option 4.
>>730569286>>730569260I take back my vote, 4.
>>7305691762 because I know it would piss Law & Order Nixon off to no end to get that nailed to his door
>>730569176#4, call him out on specifics. The more specific he has to get about concessions the worse it is, meanwhile we can kick back as the LBJ SURGE wins the war for us in the background, making him look like a fool.
>>730569370>the LBJ SURGEDamn I like the sound of that.
>>730569176Calling people retards always works.
>>730569260>>730569286>>730569347>>730569362>>730569370Four it is. Dick's too lubed up to- okay I'll stop with the Dick jokes, for now...
>>730569486#4 was such a fucking [Glass Him] option I'm legitimately angry and want a runback.
>>730569537I picked 2 but I expected 4 to play better than that at least. I can only imagine how Monkey's Paw'd my choice would have gotten in retrospect
>>730569576With how bullshit this choice was yours probably would've revealed Ted Cruz's father as the Zodiac Killer and Bush was his handler.
Once we win Vietnam, things will work themselves out.
>>730569176>>730569486The 1968 Democratic National Convention. The last gasp of the McCarthy campaign, don't let it be his resurrection.
>>7305696734. Fuck you, hippy.
>>730569673#3. I'm angry. I'm tired. I'm sick of this bullshit the CIA is throwing our way. I'll fucking turn guns on Langley and shell it from McClean if they keep this up. Abrams will do it. He has no fucks.
>>730569673Let them know that they're fucking everything up. It's time to show them reality.
>>7305696734, get Daley's boys wailing on those hippie freaks
>>730569673#4, we made /ourguy/ the chairman so I'm sure we can pull enough strings to make that work.
>>7305696734 I guess. I feel like every single one of these is a trap. The liberals want to cut us for not sucking commie dick and the conservatives want to gut us for sucking negro dick
>>730569741>>730569884>>730569891>>730569905Four for four. These JOBLESS BUMS can't win with their words so they are just screaming.
>>730570106>our very presence forces them to the floorThey kneeled. Mission accomplished.
>>730570106>attempting to shout over 20-something year-old childrenI need a cigarette...
>>730570106Jesus fucking Christ there is no winning, fucking protest bullshit was on a whole other level
>>730570178>>730570201>>730570278I can fix this. Just listen to me.
>>730569673>>730570106THE HIPPIES ARE AT THE GATES!THE HIPPIES ARE AT THE GATES!THE HIPPIES ARE AT THE GATES!>DNC SIEGE SOUNDTRACKhttps://youtu.be/B6uvdRsiTMs?si=LxTEZ4vYv_jL6GnF
>>730570309Kissinger? I thought you worked for Nixon.
>>7305703692. Let them yell, let them scream.
>>730569664You probably should have tried winning Korea first bro.
>>730570369Send Dick to play with the kids, he'll handle it. 2.
>>730570435We'll need to play as Truman to do that.
>>730570369Don't take the bait. #1
>>730570369>can't kill themPity. #2.>only question 19/30LBJ could've walked on water and they would've said he can't swim.
>>730570407>>730570475Two for two, one for one. Any last minute changes.
>>7305703694 we gotta throw Daley under the bus here, we can't be the ones calling in the fucking army can we?
>>730570595I'll change to 2
>>730570369Mostly Tw-OH GOD!
>>730570869This is the second [Glass Him]. I want to be perfectly clear I am now treating the game as hostile and I'm doubling down on hostilities. I will nuke the USA if given the option here.
>>730570369>>730570869McCarthy is giving us more trouble then the goddam vietcong! His entire existence is dedicated to trying to ruin your life.
>>730571163Hit McCarthy with the SHUT UP BITCH.
>>730571163>1Giving him attention is bad.>2The press doesn't care about us, Cronkite cares about the rioters.>3Bobby owes us for letting wool heads vote.>4The absolute worst option here.I vote #3.
>>7305711631. It's over. Let him scream, cope and seethe. We'll be re elected in November.
>>7305711633, we got Bobby for a reason, now it's time for him to get our back.
>>730571327>>730571394I change to 3. Bobby owes us. Shut this retarded hippy up. Also, if the thread goes over please link a new one.
>>730571327>>730571456>>730571468Three for three. Robert Kennedy has betrayed us.>if the thread goes over please link a new one.Don't worry I will make one.
>>730571660GOT DANG IT BOBBYTHAT BOY AIN'T RIGHT
>>730571660DANGIT BOBBY
>>730571660Bobby I wish that Syrian had found you in that kitchen in this timeline.
>>730571660>he gave coons rights and marched on God's countrydeserved
>>730571163>>730571660This is it, the last stand of Lyndon Lyndon Baines Johnson. Do let the Eugene McCarthy and his hippie army win? Or do you fight for what is rightfully yours?
>>730572184Call the goddamn vote.
Looks like this thread is about to hit bump limit, thanks for making it
>>730572184Call the goddamn vote. They want it, they gotta come and take it.
>>730572184Call the vote. We go all the way
>>730572184Call the vote, then call Hoover.
>>730572184>going through all this shit>this is just the primary
>>730572392OP here, more fun than I expected. Will definitely repeat on busier days here. If you're interested in this there is a slow thread on /vst/. We need to finish this, hopefully our ATW host can keep it up.
>>730572346>>730572403>>730572429>>730572451ALL THE WAY WITH LBJ
>>730572504I'm on it don't worry OP.
>>730572602L B GA L L T H EW A Y
>>730572602Entire convention gets the Johnson Treatment, immediately asked to leave Chicago
>>730572602Long Big Johnson beating the whole convention down, club in hand. Behold, party unity.
Baking right now folks.
NEW THREAD>>730573510>>730573510>>730573510
Bush did nothing wrong
