Coming up on ten years and we still have't settled on who the best wife in this game is>inb4 undateable NPCs like Jas and Robin
Abigail because she plays vidya like me
>>733686204i will play it for the first time and it will be me who decides for everyone>but why this random guy playing it for the first timei just know, okay? trust me
Abigail cause she eats rocks
>>733686204Emily, because she is a CERTIFIED BRAPHOG.
For me it’s Penny.
>>733686204it's emilyit was always emilygetting high with emily and sexing her outside in the dirt with her dirty hippie soles
>>733686718i'm sorry, i just can't deal with only eating health food
>>733686204It's been settled.Haley = Abigail = Penny > Emily > Leah > Maru
Penny has very cute ingame sprite but her portrait sucks.
>>733687183SDV is unplayable without a portrait mod
>>733687183All of the portraits are kind of weird in the base game. Luckily there are plenty of options to make them look how you envision them.
Penny cucks you. Haley is clearly superior.
>>733686204Haley is>Probably a virgin because her parents abandoned her in a village and her "pair" is a massive fucking fruit>Acts spoiled, but her favorite gifts are all flowers and cake and other simple stuff>Is one of the few characters you can basically always invite to the first dance>Is an actual human being with genuine interests that aren't just used for social credit (most women fail this) >Becomes your happy devoted farmwife who likes helping kids>No annoying ass extended family It's really no contest.
Abigail because I always play with the anthro mod that turns her into a dragon.
>>733687480Why do you repeat narratives that have been debunked for years?
>>733687110deal with only eating her thick blue bush
I like Abigail more, but good god do I want to save Penny from living with her mother.
>>733687932now that i can deal with
>>733688167Can’t you build a house for her even if you don’t romance her?
>>733687932Eating hairy pussy is one of the most unpleasant experiences you can have while engaging in sexual activities as a man short of having your cock snapped. It's absolutely disgusting.
>flabigail
>Kid that saves your life after you go full retard and let a golem nearly kill you. A FUCKING GOLEM.>Crazy bitch you fuck in the woods after hiding from a bear (the bear totally watched)>Prissy bitch you fix with your ex-city now-country cock>Used goods you un-use before claiming your stake>Boring girl who probably makes her own sentient sex toys>Boring girl who's got nothing going for her at allWonder how Ape will write Sandy for her heart events when she's added as a marriage candidate in the next update.
>>733687752>>No annoying ass extended familyHer sister is a loon?
Marnie
>>733689095Fat and old whore fucking the mayor to get a lower business tax
>>733688474
>>733689528>a new fat abigail artholy based>using the stardew fatty dialogueSUPER based
>>733686204That was settled day 1.
I feel bad for people playing this game
>>733690143does she have blue hair and magic because ape was referencing misery from cave story
>>733688234Slut...
>>733690952she's no slut, she's just throwing back what everyone knows she's gotshe only has eyes for BIG FARMER DICK
>>733688474Abigail being a fatty is one of those things that have given me pause when pursuing Abigail as wife material. The SV bachlorettes are so dismal that I'm seriously considering magicking myself into a girl (again) and marrying one of the bros.
>>733686204Abi, she's a plump gamer and I want my kids to have wizard genes.
>>733691018>he doesn't want more cushion for the pushin
>She's no slut
>>733686204>>>inb4 undateable NPCs like JasObviously we can't settle on who's the best if you exclude the best.
>>733691213She's legally required as part of her job at the bar to jiggle'n'fuck EVERYONE except Clint.
>>733691312prime marriage material
>>733687882In the tree while the kids watched. She's an exhibitionist slut.
Marrying both Emily and Haley.
then divorcing them both the following day for Penny
then feeding them all to Abigail
>>733694064Correct.
>>733686204At least we can all agree that Maru is the worst.
>>733688326Who doesn't like a good ol' cock snap every now and then?
>>733686204Emily has the second biggest ass after maru, has a real job(only competes with maru in the respect), is the only one that actually puts out while dating, has the best most brightest smile out of all of them, AND you get to cuck the town loser by choosing her. The only other acceptable choice is her sister who has fat tits and becomes not a bitch almost immediately.
>>733688278Yep. Once you complete the Community Center/Joja Warehouse you can buy a "Community Upgrade" from Robin for 500k and Robin will build a house for Penny and Pam.
>>733688326This is possibly the gayest post on this site
Haley is the best. You actually give her a purpose. The rest have a job and she just has a hobby that won't go anywhere. You could argue the same about Abigail but it's assumed she will inherit her dad's Tower.
fat shane
>>733686204OP can't inb4 newfag.
>>733697218newfag
>>733688278>>733696937Yeah but Penny is still stuck living with her lazy drunk mom.
>>733698405Once you repair the bus Pam immediately goes back to her job instead of get drunk and do nothing all day. She still drinks even after you build them a house, but it's not like Pam does nothing after or is unappreciative of the gesture. You get 4 full hearts for her for the act.
>>733686204why do they all look like your typical 35 yo single aunt except Haley
>>733687154>>733696671Hey fuck you guys. I work in a lab and always wanted a cute scientist gf who could talk about experiments and stuff with but I'm too autistic and it never worked out. That's why I went with Maru.Also, I like brown girls.
ok i never bother about this game but if this game has marriage, does it have sex animation or a mod i can put in?
>>733698929You will have to add it in. Babymaking in the game is a popup after marriage with your spouse asking you if you want to have a kid. If so, then your spouse (or you if you're playing a girl) are pregnant by the next morning. I watched a streamer sort of mash through the dialog without realizing what she was clicking through, then two weeks later she inexplicably gave birth. Was fuckin' hilarious.
>>733698876Maru is also caked the fuck up in her swimsuit sprite so at least theres that
>>733699053so no sex animation? Bummer....
>>733699213Nope. It'd bump the rating up if there was.You CAN, however, ritual sacrifice your children, divorce your wife, then erase her memories and seduce her and have more kids all over again. If you do this your dead kids become static demons that emerge from the TV at night to take revenge on you, and you have to kill them again.Ape has his priorities straight.
>>733699289>your dead kids become static demons that emerge from the TV at night to take revenge on you, and you have to kill them againI didn't know that and I have played this game.
>>733699352Yep. It's what the Dark Shrine of Selfishness in the Witch's hut does.
>Coming up on ten years I feel very old now and my stardew waifu being a teenage gamer girl who still lives with her parents is probably something best kept to myself. Then again, my Rune Factory 4 wife felt literally illegal so.Joking aside it does make me wonder if ConcernedApe, now pushing 40, is going to write another slew of mostly teen coded bachelorettes for Haunted Chocolatier or if he's going to trend older.
>>733686204theyre all the nortubel of stardew valley
