This is from another thread but the discussion raised an interesting question: Is there a single take from any gaming publication, ever, that's aged more atrociously than this?
>>736064873IGN has some really bad ones.The gave Godhand a 3.One of the DDR reviews has the author complain about how much his life sucks. Mental breakdown halfway through the review.The PS2 era was wild cause there were so many games coming out.
>>736064873Controllers are terrible for playing FPS games. It was true then and it's true now.
>>736064987and yet no PC game came close to Halo 3.
>>736064976I think that stuff like God Hand getting a 3 can't really "age" poorly since it's obvious the reviewer just didn't like itGame scores theoretically shouldn't be "How much did this reviewer click with this game" but they were when God Hand came out and they are now, now now they put on the same people who love every AAA game on everything
>>736064987Splatoon changed that, it's similarly good to mouse and keyboard now
>>736065074
>>736064873
>>736065389Good Lord that's rough
>>736064873How did it age atrociously? Twin analog sticks weren't common back then.
>>736064873That was one of the first games that used that fps control scheme. Yes I know Goldeneye and PD had options but it wasnt really mainstream yet
>>736065389This is how kids thought back then, but an adult?
>>736065470>>736065507Depends on whether or not you know what it means for something to age well or poorly
>>736065529>aged like milk>what is cheese
>>736065389
>>736065470It aged poorly because he called it bad, yet would become the standard going forward. OP wants more takes that are like that. The people who WILDLY mispredict what's going to happen to the future.
>>736065148The point was a made-for-PC game that rivaled Halo 3 in adventure and MP.
>>736065582I think this one aged poorly in an interesting way. People buy full price or near full price games that have sprites nowadays. And of course the indie explosion of games of similar quality. He might be a bit right on the price point for Dragon's Crown though.Also>Food analogy
>>736065582Journey is literally a 2 hour game, bringing it up in this comparison was so retarded.
>>736065582Retarded argument but $50 for a beat em' up is kinda harsh.
>>736065681Halo 3's cortana levels sucked ass and the only reason the controls for halo on console are good is the extremely generous autoaim/magnetism
>>736065582Seems like an asshole and kinda retarded but the overall point is very accurate Unless it were Nintendo no publisher would charge $50 for that today
>>736065529All games are made for PC, they just get trapped on console to sell consoles :)
>>736065582>yuck, casablanca in that outdated black and white color? its the future grandpa! time to colorize that sucker so its less clunky to watch!
>>736066019meant for >>736065681
>>736066019???
>>736064873>OP picoooff
>>736064873Have you played this game? This take hasn't aged it's just being taken wildly out of context. The first iteration of a new standard is rarely the one that does it the best, and this game doesn't even do it particularly well. And for what it's worth, the standard FPS layout for console games is still woefully inadequate for playing the genre. It's why all the console FPS games suck ass.>>736065074I dunno when the Halobabies started thinking they could voice their opinions openly but if you think Halo 3 is a good game you should do us all a favor and jump off a bridge.
>>736064873The DotA or LoLfag who gave Heroes of the Storm a 6.5/10 for not having comeback mechanics when the game is full of themBlizz turned it into a meme though
>>736065389CV64/LoD is a better game than Igaslop, yes.
>>736065074Halo 3 is overrated millenial normieslop
>>736067532That metal slug review feels like it was written by a britshart
>>736064873I would have had this take back then. Back then the default was LS UP+Down Moved but Right+Left controlled the camera, and then the RS was reversed. There were games with options to change it to the common setup now, but most people just played with default settings, and it made sense. I think Halo was the first game I played that had the LS Move RS for camera that is now standard. It took me some getting used to it when playing Halo..
>>736064873Has anyone actually played Alien Resurection and experienced how it controls?Because being the same basic inputs as modern shooters does not mean that it controls well. I havnt played it so I cant say for sure. But being a Ps1 game it most likely controls like utter dogshit.
Why is the media, in any industry, filled exclusively with people who absolutely should not be commenting on anything at all ever?
not really a take but still funny
>>736067661World>Here’s the kind of game that reminds you why Japan keeps leading the pack. From the very first level you are leaping across bottomless pits, slashing through enemies, and squaring off against rad bosses. The action never lets up. Controls are razor sharp, stages are packed with variety, and the pace keeps you locked in for hours.>Visually it is a showpiece. Bright backgrounds, fun characters, and fluid animation that makes every move feel alive. The soundtrack pushes just as hard, pumping out tunes that make you want to keep going even after a tough loss.>Most important: it just feels good to play. Every challenge is tough but fair and every victory feels like an achievement. This is the kind of action platformer that proves Japanese studios know how to mix style and substance better than anyone else.UK>Bloody hell, what a load of bollocks this is. Another so-called smash hit from the land of karate and karaoke madness. This one's all flashy sprites and more bright colours than the Teletubies. Oh and a soundtrack that bangs on like a drunk lad with a saucepan. The Yanks will tell you it is a masterpiece. We say it is just about tolerable if you’ve got sod all else to do.>The levels look grand at first, then the game starts taking the mickey out of you like a right tosser. Traps everywhere, a main bloke who bounces about like a prat with jumps tighter than a bird's minge, and bosses that hit harder than your dad after six pints. Plain rubbish, innit.>And yet, you keep going back for more, like a daft mug. Once it gets its claws in you, you and the other wankers swear, kick the telly, and still fire up another round. The bloody thing is harder to put down than a pint on a Friday night. Addictive? Sure. Clever? Not a chance. If you're the sort of bloke who enjoys being mugged off in the teeth and wasting hours of your life, fill your boots. For the rest of you lot who can't be arsed? Bin this Nipponese dross.
>>736067971I hate the anglo race so much it's unreal.
>>736064873This take has aged like milk in such a way that it's circled back around to being perfect cheese. People are recognizing that dual analog only was a shit control scheme and even on console controllers it's going to get replaced with gyro and flickstick eventually.You can't look around, you can barely move accurately and you're almost entirely restricted to the horizontal plane if you don't want to fuck up what you're looking at, which is coupled with the game being ridiculously oversimplified just so that there's no ambiguity in what the player wants to interact with.The control scheme was shit in this game and the only reason it saw widespread acceptance is Halo and CoD kiddies with no standards.>>736065116That still requires the gyro, not the control scheme listed in the OP.
>>736068585Seething yuropoor crying in his commieblock wrote this btw
>>736065582I literally bought the console for Dragon's Crown. That review was awful the moment it was written. It understands NOTHING
>>736069669A balding mutt from his mother's basement wrote this? You two should be good friends
>>736068585Get in line then, the entire world seethes over us. You will seethe and I will laugh at you.
>>736064873>recognized game by gun that was mocked by everyone back in the dayfeel old
>>736069669No nigga I'm an AMERICAN>>736069808I WISH you were as based as your King Arthur tales. Sure know both our countries could use some of that old Country energy right about now.
>>736065884It would be if it was a normal Final Fight style one or even the original D&D beat em ups but it was a full functioning RPG with a shitload of playtime to it and online MP.
>>736065074It's hard to beat Halo, when it invented the genre.
>>736070051That was actually why I dropped it. I was expecting a Tower of Doom or Golden Axe, and I had all this hub bullshit with quests and leveling.
>>736070414>Mediocre console babby version of Marathon
>>736070470>comparing it to a game that came out this yearWay to be disingenuous, CDtroon.
>>736065587Terrific in english is often used as a good adjectiveI blame americans illiteracy, like saying ironic to anything sarcastic.
>>736070686It says terrifying, not terrific.
>>736070686>americans invented semantic driftDid you know that all north american dialects are closer to the english that was spoken before the americas were discovered than any british ones? It's true. Semantic drift can even happen to you!
>>736069924>I WISH you were as based as your King Arthur tales.Those were mostly written by a french guy.
>>736065389based
>>736064976Those were the good days. You knew guys had to write some amount of words, so they often talked about stuff from their personal life and only in the end, they talked about the game "It was great, 10/10". At least in my yuropoorean country, writers for the biggest magazines were sort of an early version of "influencers". They tended to have this "dickhead" persona, but they always gave fair, well-detailed reviews for the games. Because we weren't a big enough country in the gaming scene (yet), reviewers actually had the freedom to write what they really thought.Now, the whole profession is corrupt, most people working as "game reviewers" never even finished any degrees relating to journalism. Only some kind of "gender studies" or some paid, online courses.
>>736064873Dual analog has been a blight on console FPS and sadly will never go away.
>>736064987This, controllers are an unserious way to play FPS games.
>>736071229Maybe 5-10 years ago.Now there are no reviewers because AI can shit out SEO optimized slop for free.
>>736069527nah
Was Alien Resurrection a good game? I loved the movie.
>>736064873I don't know about "aged" because it was fucking stupid back when it was contemporary, but Edge's review of DOOM.
It's kinda funny how gaming """journalists""" never had any good takes, ever.
>>736070950You sound hamburguesyPlease decolonize yerself
>>736064987not really, flickstick and gyro are pretty good
FPS games are made for mouse+keyboard. Every single FPS got dumbed down hard for the sake of console controllers. That reviewer was right to call the console controller a nightmare.
>>736064873Maybe a more interesting question would be: is there another genius future default being burried by contemporary ignorance right now?
>>736067593>Halo 3 is overrated casual ZOOMER faggotryFTFY, noob.
>>736071874I'd like to converse with the cacodemon.
>>736071874This guy really wanted SMT instead
>>736071874And that reviewer's name? Toby Fox.
>>736064873Alien isolation got pissed on by urinalists all around the goyternet.
>>736067593only brown people say slop
>>736064873Yes there is. It's from the same review.> Fans of console first-person shooters or the Alien film series will probably be better off waiting for Fox's recently announced Aliens: Colonial Marines for the PlayStation 2. While no concrete details have been announced for the game yet, this is one instance where the unknown is preferable to the devil you know.
>>736064873he's right thoughKB+M is the only option for shooters.
>>736069527skill issue
>>736073664Post your Ibara 1cc with a KB+M.
>>736072218>no uImagine being 30+ and still employing highschool-tier retorts like this
>>736073972Image being an underage waste of jizz that unironically shills fucking GAYLO in 2001 + 25
>>736064873Analog sticks were still very new back then. Everyone was used to moving and turning with the d-pad and strafing with L1 and R1. I too still remember how much I struggled to get used to this new control scheme.
>>736070686>terrifying is the same as terrificTell me more Rajesh
>>736064976All the bad reviews are from butthurt reviewers who didn't get their bribe, and all the sycophant reviews for shit games are from retards that got their bribe. Every industry is captured at this point by this kind of thing. It's basically human nature and we live in a fiat currency ponzi scheme so that behavior is incentivised by the system itself. Every year the currency buys you less and less, but your wages or your wage rise is not keeping up which is evidence that they print currency on one end whenever they want in order to devalue your wages and savings. These reviewers have shit jobs that pay nothing, and over time they've adapted a model where they only give good reviews to those who bribe them, and hit pieces against devs who refuse to play the game. Look how butthurt they all are over crimson desert, you'd think the devs had personally raped every author of the hit pieces put out on it if you read their 'review'.
>>736064976Didn't they give DKCTF a 6 and say it was unimaginative before going back to suck off FIFA and Madden doing the same shit every single year?
