poopleston... fucking piece of poopoo shitfuck
>>736864217Shit game
Not even a good brawler
>>736864282>>736865468these comments... what pieces of fucking shit...
>>736865468>>736864282fucking fentslave SLOBS
The RADBRAD likes it.
>>736871219RADBRAD, what a fucking dump.
>>736864217I punched out every woman I saw, finished the first mission, and uninstalled it. I should have uninstalled it when the opening cutscene was unskippable.
>>736864217>forced upscaling>hardbound controls>can't disable subtitles or on screen objectives>no walk toggle>car is like driving on ice>terrible melee>all of the missions are terrible>no guns, radio stations, or trains>roguelike elements for some reason>buggyVery disappointed with the game because I love the design of the city and the ambient music. I was really hoping it would at least be okay, but better to play GTA III or Driver San Francisco.
>>736871984sounds like a real fucking shithole..
>>736871984shit...
it's kino comfy>this what they took from youit's /ourgame/minus the voice acting
>>736872970man that place looks like a real fucking dump, what a shithole
>>736871984>no guns, radio stations, or trainsIs there at least some whacking dudes with a baseball bat or a bar stool or at they not even trying to be a decent beat them up?
>>736871984>>736872316>>736872848>>736872970sovl
>>736873351My first weapon was a frozen fish.
>>736873119sis, we gotta get through this
This is closest experience to GTA6 PC fats will get
>>736873403did Samson just hit that guy? What a fucking piece of shit.>>736873480stupid! (stupid) (stupid)
for a brawling game where brawling is the only way to interact with NPCs, it's pretty crazy that the brawling gameplay doesn't work at a fundamental level. this is the worst game I've played in years and remember it's not early access so they won't be updating it.
>>736873529Imagine this scenario.>GTA6 comes out on PS5>you play it 24/7 until the PC version comes out (let's say 3 years later for lulz)>I download GTA6 on PC>I play it for 30 minutes>I have rendered more pixels in GTA6 than you have
>>736873698why would you download GTA6 when you could download Samson? https://store.steampowered.com/app/3634520/Samson/
>>736873403real time samson graphics? looks like a shithole, but I still love it
>>736873558>did Samson just hit that guy?yea fuck me, he hitted him i noticed after uploading. the test 144p only had the pan
>>736864217This game is a great filter.
>>736873794I have it. I'm >>736871561 and >>736873419.
>>736873403Is that Tyndalston? Looks like shit . . . what a dump
>>736874050play Samson (Windows PC) (2026)
>>736873949>>736874052I refuse to believe a human being finds this funny. are you gonna do this until bump limit?
>>736874174There's no humor in Tyndalston, not since the Whisper hit the streets.. man what a fucking shithole
>>736864217My favorite part are the missions where you have to shake the cops chasing you but you also have to drive a car that's slower than a cop car. Those are super fun.
>>736874250no genuinely are you 10 years old? how are you so thoroughly entertained by the word shit?
>>736864282Don't you mean "glorious pile of shit"?
>>736874451I'm only entertained by Samson, but not the dump he calls home, Tyndalston (the city where he lives, it's a piece of shit)
>>736873698>>I have rendered more pixels in GTA6 than you haveToo bad that won't make up for missing out going in blind to the game
I thought we were going to talk about video games but I guess it's just some faggot child talking about poo and laughing by himself
>>736874934I mean, GTA games aren't exactly ones you discuss.>skip cutscene>go to dot>kill guy or destroy thing>skip cutscene>repeat>"HEY, BOB! I KILLED GUY AND/OR DESTROYED THING IN GTA6!">"COOL BEANS, JOE! I KILLED GUY AND/OR DESTROYED THING AS WELL!">"HOW ABOUT ALL 50 RADIO STATIONS BEING RAP?">"WHAT ABOUT THE COUNTRY STATION THAT PLAYS RAP?">"OH YEAH!"
The reviews are in!>"FUUUUCK!!! I HATE IT!!!"
>>736875051The entire game is like this. There is not one thing in the game that isn't dirtied by trash and graffiti or, at the very least, askewm and the NPCs constantly use vulgarity and every synonym for excrement to describe their environs.
>>736874404>>736874250>ANOTHER game made by Euros where their knowledge of 1970s/1980s American cars is entirely based on that one sketch Jeremy Clarkson did where he intentionally did not fix the broken suspensionNo cars built at the time drive like this.
>>736874404Every car chase may as well be on a go kart circuit. It's ridiculous.
>>736875051you wouldn't last a fucking second in the hard grit world of Samson, he lives in Tyndalston it's a shithole. no one is going to talk about this buggy as fuck driver game that released 3 decades too late it's funnier to make fun of the ESL writing permeated with FUCK SHIT DAMN BITCH because it is just so egregious and when you cannot play 30 seconds without the physics bugging out and the player character (Samson, hometown: Tyndalston, a shithole) going FUCKING SHIT FUCKER every time his car merges into the geometry or slides for 2 minutes straight like a stick of greased 2 ton butter.
>>736875968I agree with everything you said, I just don't think "what the fuck, oh shit" is especially funny. It's just bad writing and not in an entertaining way. But it is crazy that the game is so broken. Like there's only 2 things in the game, driving and fighting, and they are birth broken. Not just bad, literally functioning improperly.
>>736875968>>736876087Why did they go for a GTA clone with roguelite mechanics when they are the creators of Just Cause? Just make Just Cause 3 again with a different name. Or is that not possible without Squeenix money? They could have at least tried.
>>736874174soulson>2 different people, schizolike just look at this! would you just look at it? !!
>>736864217this game looks awesome lol. trashkino is back on the menu, boys.
I wanna talk to Samson.
>>736876793>ditch>multiple times
>>736864217>>736871984The game is just a classic case of Swedish game design.>generic>sterile>trend chasing>safeSwedish games almost always lack that je ne sais quoi. Such a waste, it could have been coolt.Swede
>>736876473Can't make Just Cause on a AA budget, and there would definitely be an audience for this game if it were good. It's a bad game in the sense that it feels like an alpha and not bad because it's irredeemable, but it would take too much money for the developers to fix. Had they released it as early access and provided a full roadmap and turn it into Mafia/GTA3/Driver, the reception would be a lot better.
>>736873529>>736873698>>736874934>>736875343The fact that anyone gives a fuck about GTA6 after the piece of shit that GTA5 is fucking mindblowing to me. I guess it's either kids or sub-90 IQ window lickers.
>>736877204I'd argue that it actually doesn't take too much money to fix the glaring technical issues and once those are fixed this does have niche appeal. People are shitting on it way too hard for no reason, it's not trying to be anything but a modern take on Driver/late 00s action games. People act like they wanted to make the next GTA or Yakuza and failed at it. No, this was always supposed to be niche.
>>736877123The only good thing the swedes ever made was Goat Simulator.>>736877264I've attempted to play 1, 2, SA, 4, and 5 and they all suck hard.
average american lib luxuryhole>>736875968>fun of the ESL writing permeated with FUCK SHIT DAMN BITCH becauseneverstoodachancefuck. bro's gone
>>736877320>it's not trying to be anything but a modern take on Driver/late 00s action gamesAnd it's not really that much better than any of them. I ended up playing a couple of Driver games for the first time because I was so irritated with how Samson played. My expectation was that it would be least as good as Mafia or GTA 3, and I think if it at least met those games a lot of people would have be happy.
>>736877123This game isn't Polish? that's crazy, wasn't expecting that
>>736876867call him on the phone to access the phone call gameplay of Samson
>>736877408>>736875968What the fuck happened to this board...
Shit
>>736881846Fuck
>>736877408are those the same pieces of shit that shot Nate? Those fuckers, this city really is a shithole . .>>736881154it's fucked, whole board has gone to shit.. fuck me
>>736864217what the fuck is this game? how does it simultaneously look like it was made by a polish guy in his basement but with a AAA budget?
>(((Samson)))The red pill was titular.
>>736881846KWAB
SHIET
>>736881846This is the first AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA game.
>>736882804what's crazy is rockstar losing pretty much all of the original GTA talent means GTA 6 will be closer to Samson than it will be to San Andreas
>>736882804no this ishttps://store.steampowered.com/app/15520/AaAaAA__A_Reckless_Disregard_for_Gravity/
>>736883159I never liked the original two, loved 3 and VC. SA is where it started going to shit.
>>736883526Liberals lose the plot as soon as nigs get involved
>>736882343normies already getting pilled >it's always too late anyway>>Die Samson-Option - Home Office # 632 -- Home-Office 2.0 -- Premiered Mar 28, 2026https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGZJsNfKlPQ>>736882343>>(((Samson)))>900 BC>titular hero character>we did bad under our god>we have to live under Philistines as self imposed punishment>we most certainly don't have to live with them and we're literally most certainly not incapable of taking care of ourselvesthe forever gypsies. sad samson, superman, all jewish cope fantasy trash>what a shithole
>>736883589I lost it at all the RPG faggotry and spreading out the locations with a bunch of nothingness in between.
>>736871290Thanks for your cowardly post, anon. :)
>>736883938RADBRAD, what a fucking shithole... fuck
Bumping this fucking shithole of a thread
uhh bros? meaning?
>>736884541https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurotrash_(term)
Completed it. It's a vertical slice, calling it an alpha is generous. Liked it desu though it's not great.
>>736864217Okay, but you need to be an adult to post here.
>>736884797I went in blind (no trailers, no dev diary etc) and I just completed my first full playthrough mission (ran out of APs for the day) and all I can say is the only people who are Not Recommending Samson are your usual casuals that are destroying the gaming industry.The same people that will fork out 70 bucks for soulless games year-after-year. No wonder they're having an adverse reaction to Samson.Because Samson dared to be different.Devs that dared to remind gamers that this is what greatness in gaming used to feel like.If you are an older... sorry, mature gamer who (still) remembers the kind of games we used to play back in the day then you will simply adore Samson.And all of this for 25 bucks? Get outta here. These devs really are on a mission to bring back a different breed of games back to the masses.Can-not wait to finish this game and see what else Liquid Swords will come up with in the future. Congrats devs for having character.
>>736884797>>736884971I'll buy it after the next patch
>>736864217Were people aware of this game coming out? I didn't hear a fucking thing about it until release day and everyone seemed to agree it's shit.
I pull up to Tinkleton with a shit eating grin. All I can think about is how much i'm about to fuck the shit out of this fucking shithole. Shits gonna be so fucked Tinkletons gonna be shitting sideways.My names' Sampson, cold, like a poop in the freezer. Fucking shit.
>>736884797>paid for a game that isn't even 20GBWhy?
>>736885128I heard of the game a while ago but the release was quite sudden and with the news of it being very buggy makes me want to wait a while and see if they can fix it.
>>736885446Wanted a western Yakuza-like and cbf pirating. Price was right on steam for impulse purchase. Completely free of irony, I like the city. I like Tyndalston. They nailed the atmosphere.
>>736885815yeah it's a real fucking shithole
Swearing is actually really fucking cool, all of you pieces of shit being pussies about it need to lighten the fuck up.
>>736886636Who the fuck is Samson you fucking shit cocksucker ass?
>>736886957>He doesn't T-pose to clown on them before beating their assNGMI
>love 3d brawlers>never get made>finally one releases>barely fucking worksthis whole genre is pure suffering. I just want a beat em up with some cool ragdolls in it. Sifu was so close to being dope
>>736888028I wish RGG Studios would make a straightforward, stage-based beat 'em up without the story/minigame focus of Yakuza
>>736884971This is just another unreal sloppa, gaming didn't use to feel like this
>>736886957KINO
this looks like straight eurojank soul, what are you bitches complaining about?
>>736864217This shit looks like it's still in pre alpha and that's just fucking shameful. I read an interview with the creator recently (and he's the creator of Just Cause which makes it even more disappointing), and he talked big game as if he was moving the industry into a better place. It's all talk.
>>736884971Nice reddit comment
>>736871984They finished designing the city and then had their budget slashed, fired half the team and quickly shat out a game
>>736864217Why are brawlers such a cursed genre
Is this game just slav yakuza?
>>736884971nice fffucken piece of sssssssSHIT reddit comment
>>736889891The whole "from the creator of [popular thing]" means nothing if his dev team is just bunch of amateurs who knows jack shit
>mental illness: the thread
>>736890345dont mess with me, these are MY streetsmaybe GTA 6 for 600 dollars is more your speedsamson's an affordable game for game enjoyers
This game basically had the exact same circumstances Gang of Dragon is going through with similar budget, dev time, team size and game scale so if that ever releases you can expect it to basically be a big pile of broken shit like Samson
>>736890519I come to /v/ for mindless vitriol, not to get depressed.
>>736864217I laughed.
>>736890519Getting that news of Gang of Dragon's funding not long after the big reveal was kind of bitter
>>736890197I wish
Don't lose hope, beat em up bros
Fucking piece of shit
>>736875968baviavi
Shithole
