write a one liner in his style about the last game you played
Terraria is like too much cream cheese on a bagel. It's ass!
Vollyball 100 times, I would rather expletive out a camel's expletive
Cup of liber-tea? More like cup of liber-ass-balls-fucknut-cunt-shit-raycon-Raid:Shadow Legends-piss-ass-fart-brains!
>>737654807THIS GAME SHOULD BE CALLED TRAILS OF OLD PEEL POO
Warriors Abyss? You know that’s actually a good name because that‘s right where this game belongs!
Burnout?More like the studio should have crashed and burn out of this fucking world making this game
So it's a porn game, and the sex happens when you lose, what were they thinking?
>>737654807Slay the Spire? I wanna slay whoever made this piece of shit!
>>737654807ONE LIFE?! NO CONTINUES?! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!??!!?
More like brain age concentration camping! This game is the actual hardest thing Nintendo has ever produced. So you git this floating head guy right, dr kawashima, he looks like andross git raped by emperor hirohito. Why's he a floating low poly ead? Dont think abiut it, anyway, he just reads you these math problems, basic stuff like 3+6 and 9-2, sounds easy right, WRONG. See you dont just write the answer to the problem you just saw, you have to commit the answer to the problem to working memory and keep committing the next answer 9n screen to working memory and write the answer to the kast problem 2, 3, 5 problems ago. And the more you try it, the better you get, and it just gets worse and worse. If you get over 85% you go up a level, if you get less then 65% yoi go down a level,anything in between and it stays the same amount. Allegedly it goes all the way up to 99 back and Kawashima posted on miiverse sayung that .01% of humanity achieved this. But obviously they were cheating. And that's just ine minigame. Now the ither big one is listening, it's the same thing but instead of reading the math problems you have to hear his shitty robotic voice read them to you aloud and its way harder because 9 always sounds like 5. And just when you're in the swing of things of course the handwriting recognition never works. Why the fuck didn't they just put a numpad on the touchscreen it would've been so much easier. The other minigane has you tracking these mice. The boxes all swap around and fly off screen, you have to track 5 mice with your eyes at once. Except half the time it's dumb fucking luck, you'll be lost dreading that last guess and suddenly its right. And pairs is just a card matching game which again is dumb fucking luck. You could have no memory of the cards and still get a few right because they're right next to each other.Blob blast is fun tho
So you play this guy named Leon, who runs around this little village shooting zombies. You can shoot them with your gun and if you aim at certain spots, they'll become paralyzed, and you can kick them instead.>footage of Leon roundhouse kicking a ganadoDAMN. Who the fuck does Leon think he is? CHUCK NORRIS?!>scrawny nerd barges into James's basement>poorly choreographed low roundhouse kick>quick shot of James being lightly tapped with a foot
>>737654807Write your own episodes James.
>>737654807Expedition 33 is a bunch of poopy ass-drippings covered in penis-farts with a side-order of semen from a homeless man. I'd rather piss cactus juice on a dead skunk than subject myself to anymore of that anal rectal diarrhoea sewage.
>>737654807Grand theft auto? More like big gay drama!
Oblivion Remastered is like shoving a tire up your ass
>>737654807bring back quickplay you fat fucking bastard gayben
>>737654807this game....this game is really BAD >:( its like poo-poo and pee pee!!!! it sucks!!! grrrrrrr im SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!!! id rather not play this dumb dumb game!!! >:(
Paper Mario is a solid RPG title, and I love its cast of colorful and diverse NPC species and personalities. What I don't get though is FP, why is my mana measured in Flower Points? I know Mario shoots fireballs with the fire flower, but couldn't they come up with anything more fitting? He doesn't even use the Fire Flower for anything but a one use item, and it has nothing to do with FP! WHat were they thinking!?So what, does Mario eat spinach like Popeye just so he can get his partners to do more power attacks? >camera changes to wide shot of room>Nerd is standing on left, looking at TV, in battle pose>motion edited to look like few-frame long animation of him eating a single spinich leaf while Paper Mario SFX plays in bg>Suddenly his biceps get massive, Popeye fanfair plays>looks at arms with iconic silly giant frown but with pleasantly surprised eyes, not angry or sad>looks to camera, keeping face, and nods slowly
>>737654807Dark Souls 3? More like 3 dark turds so hard my soul leaves my body when i shit them out.
>A chameleon and a bat instead of a bear and bird? Why not just make it two jumping pieces of shit!
>>737661227>*taps Yooka lick button*>turds are the only thing this game will be licking up with that dedicated lick button. >Hey, wait a second...>*zooms in, sees two tongue glitch*>*Nerd's face goes from mild shock to absolute disgust gradually in seconds*
Ready or Not? You're damn right I'm not ready for the absolute-fucking-bullshit this games throws at you. If the real police had to deal with the shit this game throws at you, their mortality rate would actually start making sense!
For me it's ninomae ina'nis
>>737654807Story Tine Stranger? More like A STRANGER JUST PISSED MY MOUTH
>>737654807Cope
>>737654807Separate Ways? More like a way to separate this shit game from my AAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!
>>737654807Rimworld? More like rimming my ass!
So this game Xenoblade X I accidentally fly loaded up CEMU the other day and saw my previous pmaythrou of the gameE was like 200+ hours coupled with my DE playthrough of 178 hours and my previous two playthroughs of unknown hours. Cowabunga piece of sogshit amirite/v/ bros.
>>737654807>Starfield? More like Starfeces! Why are there so many shitty games about space??
>>737665964>And just like the outer reaches of the cosmos... there's fuck-all to do in it.
>>737654807warframe, more like stupid fucking WHORE frame! who the fuck makes a space shooter and thinks "OH I KNOW, A DATING SIM!" the fuck were they THINKING??
>>737654807>Persona? Yeah more like Per-shitta. And why does this bitch always have to feel like she's useless when she's actually the most important part of the group?
Be warned, there will be a flood of faggots in this thread putting emphasis on the word time, they will passive aggressively quote James Rolfe and post unflattering images of him, these users are in fact redditors, I am here to insult them by calling them redditors
>What's the point of giving me a partner to carry the chalice if he keeps getting too tired to carry the chalice? HIS ONLY JOB IS CARRYING THE FUCKIN' CHALICE AND HE CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT! It's like if I had a butler and asked him to bring me a beer, and he just said "nah, I'm tired. Get it yourself." You wouldn't put up with that shit! You'd kick his ass! *Drinks Rolling Rock*
>>737654807A haunted web game? My ass is haunted!
>>737667324I'd reply, but it's 5:40 right now.
>>737654807Planet Coaster? I'D RATHER USE THE DISC AS A COASTER>downs rolling rock
Farthest Frontier? How about as far as fuckin possible from this piece of doodoo?
>>737654807>in his style>implying bimmy was the one behind it(You) can shut up now!
So the game is called 999 and we gotta find a door. So much a tapping in-between the fucking puzzles. Its like the developers forgot im playing a fucking game here. This is so ridiculous its really starting to piss me off!
All this thread is doing is making me remember stuff he said.>I'd rather take a bath in elephant feces. I'd rather... eat raw eggs.
>>737654807COD4 on rails you die in 2 hits is ass
>>737654807Guilty Gear Strive? Why is it called Strive? What am I striving for, an anime fighter that doesn't suck ass?
FORCED EVASION? FORCE EVADE THE SHIT OUT OF MY ASS
>You want to know what's shit? Try Mewgenics, you can shit and get shitted on constantly and literally, one wrong move, one single mistake and it's game over *footage of AVGN playing like shit* FUCK. And don't let me get started with the events. See this little ? marks on the map? You click on them and one random cat gets to choose an option. But everytime I pick whatever, my cat gets punished, like I saw this pussy get damaged, get sick, you name it. May aswell bent over and get fucked, there's no difference. Right now he is on a blood frenzy, and he started attacking my own team. 'da fuck? *adjusts his glasses and reads the tool tip* "gets madness after killing an unit" yeah, I'd also get mad being stuck in this fucking game *he drinks rolling rock, cut to Mike Matei dressed as Butch at the door*
Star Fox Adventures? Yeah, it's an adventure alright! An adventure in taking a shit all over one of the best rail shooter series ever made!
>>737654807AHHss
>>737667324Based redditors.
>>737654807>"After giving the game a fair shot, I've come to the honest conclusion that Fatal Frame 2's namesake is less relevant to the camera being fatal to the various spongey apparitions, and more reflective of the fact that it's almost guaranteed to put you into a boredom-induced coma in the frame of time it takes you to complete it."
Kenshi more like can't see as in can't see the point in playing this stupid ass fucking game
>>737665964ANOTHER Space Shooter?I pass.
>>737654807you lose quest items when you die!? Runescape? More like RUN ESCAPE FROM THIS SHITTY FUCKING GAME!!! *chugs rolling rock*
>"Look at this stupid shit. What kinda fuckin' controller is this? How the fuck am I supposed to hold this bullshit? Like, what the fuck am I even looking at here? Am I playing a game? Or am I pretending I'm fuckin' Skrillex? What a bassdrop of ass turds.
>>7376676135:40 really is the balls on the dick of time, isn't it
>>737654807Total War: Warhammer?More like Total WHORE: WHOREhammer, because I just spent over $100 to get FUCKED![shakes head] Alright, let's get back to this shit.
Goat Simulator? I can go eat trash for free without buying this diarrheal slop.
Smash Remix? More like Trash Re-shit!
>>737654807Team fortress 2? More like ass fortress 2. I mean just look at this shit, I can't even leave the spawn without getting killed by a rocket! Then I gotta wait another 10 seconds just a play the game! Fuck!>dies to sticky trapSHIT LOAD OF FUCK>backstabbed by spy>ASSSSSSSSSS
>>737654807This one's called... "Mario Kart World?" What, "Super Mario World" wasn't enough? Now his fucking car needs a world too? What's next? "Mario GOLF World?" "Mario PAINT World?" Or how about...*looks at copy of Hotel Mario*...let's play the fucking game.
