first for me

matchmaking is a psyop and these threads are ran by shills


The game is designed to waste your time, if you had a satisfying 5v5 you wouldn't queue again

>>553506973
ok bye

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>puck is a pretty lady!

losing a game where you have the most game experience doesnt make you a smurf

quickplay should remove bans so that i can just be a marci onetrick

>>553506848
>how is my playing supposed to change the games where I go mid, dominate their mid by 3 levels and take their tower at 7 minutes, then lose the game 1v9 because the other 4 people on my team are literally animals?
the game doesn't end at minute 7 when you take the enemy mid.
Oftentimes, when you don't have a team to rely on, it's the correct play to just give up the mid tower, so you can force plays elsewhere. Getting the tower early doesn't actually give you as much of an advantage as you think and neither does dominating mid.

if rubick steals duel and duels someone in duel it should cancel it out because its not honorable

kill schizos also sex with slark

I just started playing again
>Kez's voice
what were they thinking

>>553507371
honor THIS
>4-man deathballs at you

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Buff Hoodwink

>>553507295
>winning the game doesn't actually help you win the game

you people are actual retard animals, the mental gymnastics you have to do here to avoid admitting that the other 4 people on your team are purposefully bad when you are good is retarded

>>553507554
They keep saying this game only panders to gay furries but man, Kez's voice and character are a complete boner killer.

>>553507784
anon, you took a tower, you did not win the game
if you had won the game, you'd not be seething about throwing an early lead, because you are retarded

>close game
>say I will bait axe (me) (1)
>fucking kez runs straight to me
>die
gg

>>553507885
you have got to be the biggest midwit in the world attempting to rationalize how doing the best you can early and the other 4 retards completely ruining the lead you gave them is somehow again your fault. I'm not even mentioning the games I go 20-1 and win, no, I'm talking about the games I go 30-3 and lose because we quite literally dont have enough damage/stuns/bkb only lasts 6 seconds etc


again all these insane gymnastics to blame the player instead of the psyop system, the system which has vested interest in keeping you playing by being a psyop

>>553508031
ally kez that is*

>>553508031
maybe you shouldn't have closed your game...

>>553508137
Just stop being bad. You should not lose a game where 30/3. Post the replay for us to analyze. If you lose that game, it is only your fault. If you get 30 kills and you can't build an unthrowable lead, you're not playing well. Simple as.
You are not as good as you think you are.

>>553508786
>uh well actually those other people above herald that have worse winrates and worse mvp ratios than you, who you completely pubstomp in unranked? Yeah they're actually all secretly really good

>>553509017
look man you need to chill it's just a game
if you're really that good you'll climb up in no time

>>553508786
Not gonna defend the schizo but smurfs shitstomping then losing to comebacks isn't that unusual. My record for most kills in a game is 41 and I lost that one.

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>>553508786
actual retard

Here's what the scoreboard looks like every time I lose a game, 100% of the time. The two carries dont even = my damage, the second highest damage is our support.

>>553509260
Just hit the buildings
if you were stomping why didn't you hit their ancient

>>553509134
>look man if you're really good you'll just climb

>implying I'm not calling the climb the psyop in the first place
nobody would play the game if they didn't have to climb, if you placed people in a 5v5 that was satisfying, win or lose, people wouldnt rage queue again. The psyop is literally 'well if you're good just play more games and climb bro' yes just spend 1000 hours climbing against a psyop of literal AI bots and third worlders, in a system that everyone understand actively fucks you for being better

>>553509260
35k hero damage isn't really that impressive of a number. What hero were you playing? The Frog guy?

>>553509661
are you actually retarded? if 35k damage on an offlane hero isn't good, what the fuck were the 14k damage kez and the 14k damage PA doing?

>>553509163
It's called "getting bored"

>>553509751
Never getting online because their offlane failed to create space, obviously.

>>553509790
>getting bored
The mental gymnastics here to try and say the other 4 retards have no bearing on how your games go, holy shit lol

>>553509894
Ah well jokes on you I wasn't offlane I was a support on an offlane hero

you're a fuckinganimal making up excuses, actual animal who believes they're not retarded for climbing up the psyop into the trench.

In fact I just realized why you're so adamantly defensive of the psyop, it's because you've wasted thousands of hours on it and if it's true then you're a fucking retard so you can't accept that it would be true

whats the best hero to just turn off my brain do well and not stir the pot so as not to accumulate reports

>>553509751
There's plenty of offlaners that deal a lot of damage and can carry the game by winning fights and forcing objectives. You should really start being more of an egoplayer, especially when playing with literal babies.

>>553509790
Nah. 1v9 hard enough and your teammates will sometimes get complacent and just stop coordinating.

>>553510137
Impossible not to accrue reports in this game if you're playing it at all

>miss call
>reported

>miss ability
>reported

>get ganked
>reported

etc. Matchmaking is a psyop, behavior score is a psyop

>>553509790
Not that Anon but I won against a Brood smurf because they got cocky and picked second phase and so I counter-picked them + fucked their team. The Brood went on a melty in chat as we were winning lmao.

sex with hoodwink

>>553510330
Probably wasn't a smurf.

parker pausing mid fight to tip is kinda based.

>>553509751
You have the ego of an egoplayer, but none of the mentality.
No wonder you can't win.

>>553510863
Probably you're dumb.

parker>>>yuma

>>553511401
i'm out of the loop, is the drama simply "he got kicked from a team and now beat his previous team"?

>>553511401
most entertaining player to watch i dont care how toxic he is

>>553511578
beef with davai and him getting kicked when he was the big reason that org even won anything

bros where the fuck is the "strict solo matchmaking" option? i'm not finding it

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>>553509260
>only showing final stats at the end
This reminds me of this post from a few days ago. Same vibes.

>>553512076
it's in the settings around where the 'social' part is
solo only for role queue or something
or just type role queue in the search bar of the settings and you'll find it

>>553512196
thanks fren, i turned it off cause my queues were taking too long
hope i don't regret it

>>553510863
only larping shitters think smurfs always win

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rate my mid's kez build

every time I lose it's a smurf and other fantastical reddit tales

>>553512098
Post dotabuff

>>553512281
Do not ever, EVER, disable strict solo. The matchmaker is retarded and can only balance games properly with 10 solo players.

bros
its gonna take so long to get back into this game
argh
wish i didnt play lol instead

>>553512664
https://www.dotabuff.com/players/113664644

>>553512778
go back to league dota train is full

>>553512957
no!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>553512925
>12k sniper matches
>herald
Top kek

>newfags don't know about the legend of El-Ente

newfags probably never saw AMERICA FUCK YEAH play brew against lina (I don't have the webm anymore)

winter map is so comfy ;3

i laid down in bed almost 4 hours ago but i can't sleep and i've just been repeating to myself that everything will be ok... excited to play some dota after work tomorrow

>>553513592
for me it's psg trying to cs as spectre

>>553513770
that's a good one too

>>553513749
dreaming about shadow demon raping me helps me sleep

>>553513749
take the asmrpill i actually can't sleep without it nowadays

Mason made it bros, he's literally on a date with the e-whore right now.

>>553517265
how much did he pay? it will be hilarious when he sees how she looks without camera filters and photoshop

>>553517467
It's not like he's got that many options, he's a 34 year old virgin who makes a living by slowly losing his sanity in front of a live audience. (he claims he's not a virgin but I highly doubt that, specially considering how fat he used to be)

>>553517265
twitch somehow turns yet another useless eater into a winner

>>553513749
take the dakipill i actually can't sleep without it nowadays

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Someone here posted a screenshot of them watching an overwatch case. How do I make my game look like this? I want it to look like the good old days... When brood had invis and was an offlaner...

>>553517265
*E-pig
for my pigga

>>553518171
In what way? I don't see anything different in that screenshot, it's just how the game looks to me

>>553518171
looks like the swamp weather effect maybe, i dont really use that one

>>553518171
you have to send certified mail to valve headquarters and ask them nicely

>>553518171
it's one of the old weather things

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>>553518171
>>553518342
spring

>>553518629
is it spring? maybe its just dire side throwing me off then. i could have sworn spring was brighter and had sakura particles and godrays and stuff

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>>553518629
by the way you can still get those weathers from russian trade bot websites, i got them this way
i actually thought i was gonna get scammed somehow but it works

>>553518880
I got them all betting long time ago when I cared about esports, I don't have ash tho, whats the website

>>553517265
how do you know?

>>553518989
loot farm

>>553519063
Both mason and that girl had been streaming every single day for the past few weeks but both of them coincidentally decided to take a break today.
Add this to the fact that mason spent like 10 hours playing League with her yesterday.

>>553519548
stop stalking people bro

>>553519548
are they even in the same city? I read she's a leaf

>>553519616
It's not stalking I'm just on vacation right now and thus have a lot of free time, gotta find something to do inbetween the dota queues

>>553519912
Actually don't know but I'm sure mason would take a plane there if pussy access was on the table

>>553519548
Would be quite the drive for Mason to go from northern Illinois all the way into Alberta Canada

weekend dota is the worst

>>553520164
something like stalking mason

DRAWFAGS???!?

>>553522202
Whats up

i cant carry four people

Recommend me what you think are the funnest heroes for new players please

>>553523396
spirit breaker
dark willow
pudge

>>553523670
what role

>>553523972
too new to know roles, I just want fun

>>553523670
Lion

>>553524058
carry - luna
support - undying

*puts a blindfold on*
*throws a dart at a printed out png of all the heroes in dota 2*
*plays that hero and buys a phylactery first item on them*
*wins the game*

the most toxic league streamer of all time was just banned and hes trying dota and its genuinely the funniest shit ever

you guys NEED to hook him up with Mason man it'd be a dream come true to have these 2 legends playing together

>>553523670
booty hunter

>>553524564
sorry lil bro but mason is on the plaping slampigs business now.

>>553524564
tyler did this few years ago, he's not doing it again

>>553524564
tyler1?

>>553524872
tyler is not that toxic, i'm talking about tarzaned

tarzaned is mentally ill, he's a perfect match for mason

tarzaned is so mentally ill he has his own dedicated hatewatching channel where a guy made a bingo for him that can only be completed if he's 100% deranged

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU2vGApDJyY

the most toxic league player on the hatefulest day of their lives doesnt clear bradley dragon on a good day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5O_v7mBg4k

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I was literally writing out this post:

>just flamed the fuck out of everyone and stopped playing a game after 500 games straight of being a good boy
It feels good to let it out every once in a while but I'm sure my BS is gonna take a -500 hit now.

---end of post---
But while I was typing it I got a behavior score update and my BS increased by 200 and yes, this match was included because the "conduct summary matchid" says this match and also I got 4 reports from my 3 teammates.
This system makes literally no sense LMAO, I lose BS when I'm actually not doing anything and I gain BS when I grief a game.

>>553526403
kek what a fucking joke

>>553525295
They do, they're just not allowed to take it as far because League has reddit moderation.

bsj is doing coaching again, I haven't watched any yet but it used to be good many years ago
newchuddies should watch one video
https://www.youtube.com/@DotaDojoCoaching/videos

>>553519548
Lol playing 10 hours with a woman you aren't smashing is crazy work ngl

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>win game
>look at time spent dead
>retard teammate spent over 20minutes dead
I mean it was an hr and 9 minutes game
but fucking 21 minutes dead is crazy

If I unlock a phantom assassin (male) set and anti mage (female) set do I get the persona?
I'm a bit confused

>>553528589
yes

>>553528589
you need to buy a bundle for the persona and unwrap it to unlock the persona

>>553528589
just not a piece of it, you need to buy a bundle set for the persona and unbundle it which will give you the persona as apart of the bundle.
if you buy the individual pieces you wont get it, need to buy the full bundle.

>>553528589
My man in christ, you can read if it comes bundled with the persona or not.

I'm feeling the itch to play dotes again bros, damn why icefraud made such a good game

alright bros who is the best pos1 to slam if you don't want to rely on your team at all right now?

what MMR is acceptable for you to become a streamer that people would want to watch, there's lots of guys here who watch streamers, you guys know the answer
8k? 9k? 10k? more?

>>553531092
i got 1v9ed by a phantom lancer today so probably that

>>553531092
Sf/meurta

>>553531215
Just be entertaining, bradley_dragon is unironically in the bottom 1% of players and has an audience.

>>553531409
yeah PL and naga have been who I have been picking to try to 1v9 but was hoping there might be some better options...

>>553531497
I can't be entertaining bro, I need to be good, people need to watch me because they think they'd learn something from me

>>553531215
For me personally I don't really care about skill level as long as they're significantly better than me and I'm 6k, so it's gotta be at least 8k. After that I don't care, just want them to be entertaining.

>>553531503
I love naga but I need to play another 60 to 90 minute game with her where I need to just take over the map and choke my opponents out until they fuck up I am going to lose my mind.
Haven't lost with her this patch but fuck me the games are grueling. Its either a quick game where I hit my timings or we can't close and its going to be an hr+ match every time

>>553531215
Lol just be entertaining dota doesn't have a truly entertaining streamer that has aura

>>553531583
>people need to watch me because they think they'd learn something from me
You fundamentally misunderstand the appeal of Twitch. People watch Dota streamers so they can laugh when they shit the bed and have a melty over it.

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>no small rock man hero
icefraud...

>>553531819
"entertaining" dota streamers = apes screaming while playing and raging about team mates, singsing, bulldog, gorgc, they were all like that, I can't do that
>>553532050
there is an audience for people that like to ask questions about the game and have the streamer answer them, if you ever watched the old beesa streams, he was the best at it, would go deep into decision making and you'd learn a lot

>>553532151
what about tiny

witch doctor isn't a real hero what the fuck is this shit

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>>553510261

>>553533253
He's been trash for years and valve refuses to buff him

>>553533259
I just noticed it's a perfect +225 every 15 games. So you get 15 behaviour score every game you don't act like a dipshit.

How the fuck do you manage to lose it?

>>553533368
they are buffing him but he still sucks

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>>553533507
that means i only have to play 800 perfect games consecutively to get back to normal

>>553534813
>perfect
I am a shitter, half of those are losses. Wish Gaben would stop jerking me around at 1-1.2k forever.

>nice teammates
>good builds
>lane ganks
>then
>carry got caught and died alone... again
>Khanda Lens Sniper

bros how in the actual fuck do people play the carry role
you have to wait 20 minutes on average for a game, then wait another 5 for the picks + runes phase, then the game ends in like 30 minutes
literally half your time isn't spend spent playing the game

>>553535506
That's the price you have to pay to play the best role, what can you do. There's a reason why queues take so long, people literally only want to play carry.

>>553535506
it's the most boring piece of shit role too, and half the time your team bitches at you for not feeding with them

>>553536015
>boring
its the most interesting and intense role
every moment is right on the edge, one fuck up and the whole game is over

there is nothing like have an insane amount of damage, kills, assists, 0/minimal deaths, building damage, and all with an insane networth.
nothing tops the high of playing carry
tearing through heroes, tearing through buildings, the buy backs drops, you shred them again, the ggs come in chat, its euphoric

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good morning dotards

>>553536015
Like it or not carries are the main characters of the game. It literally says so in the role's name.

>>553536515
Carry is one of the lower skill roles with no real decision making. You pick whatever meta hero and have the game decided for you by the other positions. Most frequently your major impact on the game is throwing it by refusing to fight or push
Your post basically exemplifies why people call you carrytranny. Me first I'm so beautiful narcissistic faggot attitude.

im so sick of phylactery