Your life would still be SHIT if you lived in the Pokémon universe.No one likes you enough to give you a starter. Even if you somehow stole a pokemon, it would never respect you and it’d run off to the wild. You’d be a resentful nopokemon fat guy freak stuck in his hometown. An inpless (involuntarily pokemonless).
Have sex incel.Edit: Thanks for the gold kind strangerEdit 2: 327 upvotes for this? Haha wow that's the most I've ever gotten, thanks guys and gals and everything in between!Edit 3: WTF 600 upvotes wow thank you all so much this is the best birthday everEdit 4: Thanks for all the birthday wishes fellow r/wooooshers. I tippeth mine hat to thee on this pleasant morrow.Edit 5: ok I'm noticing some toxic discussion happening in this reply chain and I feel the need to address it. Sexism and racism are not cool guys, so please cool it and continue the good vibes please and thank you!Edit 6: ok so I don't know why but I've received a lot of downvotes on this post recently, maybe i got raided by 4chan.com/b?? (commonly referred to as the "asshole of the internet" for those who aren't aware). I don't really ask for much but I was hoping we could show those losers a thing or two, so please give this post an upvote if you haven't already, it would mean the world to me and show these bullies you cannot mess with a good person.Edit 7: turns out my girlfriend cheated on me, so that happened :/Edit 8: so people have been wanting me to clarify the previous edit. I don't have the energy to go into a lot of detail so the general gist of it is this: Yes we were in an open relationship, no that doesn't mean you can't cheat on someone when you're in an open relationship. If you are having sex regularly with someone and never mention it until they get you pregnant, that is definitely a betrayal of trust even if you've both agreed that she can have as many partners as she feels she needs to be comfortable.Edit 9: FYI, taking responsibility for the child does not make me any less of a man than you, actually it makes me more, so kindly fuck off please and thank you!Edit 10: This is Chuck's mother. Our entire family is devestated to say that he commited suicide last week in his bedroom. As a loving memory of his life accomplishments, we will leave this comment up.
>>58927251You can't prove me wrong, which is why you call me "reddit". In truth, the most pathetic onions-drinking redditor would get a pokemon, and you wouldn't.
>>58927240>>58927277Oh look. It's this thread again. You're so pathetic. What you are trying to demoralise us here on /vp/ but doing so in such a bizarrely specific way and failing so hard at it. How many more times will you make this thread only for it to come to no avail?You have been proven wrong countless times in your many previous threads. I can't help get the impression that you are projecting, as others feel too. There's little use in arguing with you. You are only making a fool of yourself here. That is all.
>>58927300>you've been proven wrongAlmost all adult men in this world have a girlfriend. You don't, because everyone hates you.Almost all adult men in the Pokemon world have a Pokemon. You [FILL IN THE BLANK], because everyone hates you.
You are brown.
>>58927312I am White.The brownest Indian-Mexican mystery meat would get a Pokemon, but (You) wouldn't.
I'm starting to think these threads are some sort of humiliation fetish thing
>>58927300>>58927312>>58927375SamefagSTOP and PROVE to me that you would get a Pokemon in the Pokemon universe, despite you being unable to function as an adult in real life.
>>58927389>even with varying prices and conversion rates a standard pokeball is 2 bucks tops>not counting special encounters there are 84 species with the maximum catch rate of 255 which cover every type except ghost and fighting and all types if you count evolutions (if you only used pokemon with a catch rate of 255 you could have nearly a full mono dragon team of altaria, flygon, flapple, appletun, and hydrapple)>the legends series shows that throwing a pokeball at a pokemon's back is an effective way to catch pokemon even in modern times
>>58927389>prove to me this thing about a made up animal from a made up world made for kidsAutism.
You don't have to be given a Pokemon or steal one, you just buy a Poke Ball and go catch your own
>>58927375
Doesn't matter if you live in a first world country like Unova, where you can walk from Striaton to Driftveil, Humilau and Route 9 Mall without ever encountering a Pokemon outside of maybe a bird on Driftveil Drawbridge but we're not living in The Birds so I wouldn't worry about that. That whole area also includes excellent public transportation in the form of the Battle Subway which yes is a regular train you can just get on. It's great being able to rely solely on yourself instead of inferior creatures.
