File: 1772111651463778.png (590 KB, 850x850)

590 KB PNG

Ongoing Stories:
>Transformed Into a Lucario
https://pastebin.com/dNfCG4se
>Copanon the PokeWhisperer by Copanon
https://rentry.co/PolicemanPokemonStory
>Professor Decidueye by ProfD
https://rentry.co/ProfD
>VetPhox by Phoxanon
https://rentry.co/DelphoxStory
>Lopunanon
https://pastebin.com/ecBem3sz
>Kartanimator by Kartanon
https://rentry.co/kartanimator
>The Pokemon Pit by ProfD
https://rentry.co/r7aa9bzy
>Swiss Army Mienshao by Mienshanon
https://rentry.co/whipping-back-into-action/
>The Human Wimpod Evolved
https://rentry.co/GolisopodStory
>Sandslash and Ms. Gemstone
https://rentry.co/h62h6eh7e
>No Memories Umbreon by Churchanon
https://rentry.org/ua24k1ti
>Mareanieanon
https://rentry.co/MareanieStory
>Emolganon
https://pastebin.com/EWkUN7zD
>Miloticanon
https://rentry.co/MiloticStory
>Belarusian Blastoise by Phoxanon
https://pastebin.com/WAh6Wnkm
>Copanon's side stories
https://rentry.co/PolicemanPokemonSideStories
>Kartanon's side stories
https://rentry.co/kartanimator-disc-b
>Mienshanon's one-shots
https://rentry.org/miensha-oneshots#retrograde
>Other one-shots
https://pastebin.com/UtXMsyyD
>One-shots that were too spicy for pastebin
https://rentry.co/SoImOneShots

Archived stories:
>Herding Cats
https://rentry.org/HerdingCats
>Super Macho Mon
https://rentry.co/MachampStory
>0332
https://pastebin.com/WMdqhP8H
>Digigirl
https://pastebin.com/rvUJh1Vd
>Tinkanon
https://rentry.co/TinkatonStory
>Not a Pikachu
https://rentry.co/notapikachu
>Serpent and Wyrm by Snivyanon
https://rentry.co/SerpentAndWyrm
>A Loser and a Lost Snowpix by Drifteranon
https://rentry.org/tcab223e
>The New Police Animals by Snivyanon
https://rentry.co/larsonkurt
>Churchanon by Churchanon
https://rentry.org/cb24k1ti
>Drifteranon's one-shots
https://pastebin.com/4K9M6uJ2

Statistics and thread list:
https://rentry.org/fd9ise4o
https://rentry.org/sip-down-memory-lane

File: IMG_1573.jpg (119 KB, 1141x1282)

119 KB JPG

>Wake up as a Sylveon
>Die soon after because you don’t have enough affection or friendship with anyone

>>59088955
Just quit being a baby and start an OnlyFans

>>59088955
Wild Sylveons exist anon.
They use their Succubus like powers to hunt.
Read their dexes.

File: IMG_1575.jpg (646 KB, 2894x4093)

646 KB JPG

I often dream about sleeping like this before actually waking up. It doesn’t seem practically comfortable, but my unconscious mind seems to desire it.

>>59089630
Find a nice branch and indulge it, maybe it feels great

>>59089630
Return to Monke.
I'll admit - it's actually not that hard to pass out in a tree like this - we don't have the tail to balance ourselves, but you got legs and arms to anchor yourself with to sleep like this... It looks comfy as hell.

>>59089630
I’ve been sleeping on my stomach recently to see if it helps with my back. Jury’s out

File: IMG_1574.jpg (262 KB, 1200x1575)

262 KB JPG

>It’s Tuesday Ruse-day! You know what that means!
>”Dang it honey, I know you like being a Zoroark now, but you can’t just use your illusion to pretend to be a wild animal every week.”
>Oh noooo! The transf-oro-mation-ark! Zon’t look at me!
>”You realize I have to miss work too to take care of you like this right? Hey! Don’t pretend you can’t understand what I’m saying!”
>Zor! Zoroark-ark-ark!
>”You know, other people can still talk when they turned into pokemon, I’m just saying.”

File: 1680042369110842.png (461 KB, 800x800)

461 KB PNG

Dunno about you guys but I love picking up random junk!

File: 1773982836253910.jpg (445 KB, 2048x2900)

445 KB JPG

>Someone else on the force turned into a Phox

File: IMG_1576.jpg (238 KB, 1536x2048)

238 KB JPG

>>59090497
>Not that happy about being effectively a dog now
>But you gotta hand it to them, sticks are actually a lot of fun

>unironically researching squirrels now so I can better figure out instincts
so, today I learned that squirrels make nests, commonly called dreys, for winter! these are often mistook for birds nests, but are more so there to keep warm.
given it's properly in spring by now, that is not a concern. but presumably once it's time to... actually make one, it'll be a fun challenge to find a subsitute for leaf litter indoors.

>>59090370
A new form of PIPS dropped. Cyclical onset PIPS.

File: tumblr_4bc5c0b6e1a0e168b6(...).jpg (84 KB, 640x453)

84 KB JPG

>Woke up as a Thievul one day
>No hands anymore so I get a FAT disability check every month
>Little do they know I can use psychic

NEET life has never been easier

>>59091290
She’s just trolling
Default instincts for a dark type

File: images (22).jpg (14 KB, 342x192)

14 KB JPG

>Why the fuck am I a hamster now

>Licking a ninevolt is not something I'd ever suggest.
>Same with being slapped upside the head by a lickitung.
>I am down, but I refuse to be out as I feel it grab me by the foot and begin dragging me towards the edge of the bonfire circle.
>Not. Today.
>I cannot move, but I also am not helpless.
>I think, therefore, you get 2x4'd.
>Said 2x4 comes flying in from where it had landed right across the back of the Lickitungs knees, because apparently I'm part Lorax and the trees have come for the knees today.
>I have bought time, but at what cost?
>Muscles still twitching, and the back of my brain feels like it's still on fire as I make it to my knees and survey the chaos around.
>Including the Licktung, we have an Absol, a Espeon, Myself and a Pangoro.
>The jigglypuff is shouting that the fightings over and I can just feel some part of my brain oozing from nose.
>Wait, No, that'd be blood. Probably should get that checked out as my smoking buddy wanders over, calls me a dick, and offers me a smoke.
>I of course oblige with a middle finger, lighting theirs and enjoying mine as I sit in the dirt waiting for the world to stop spinning.
>I didn't come in first, the Pangoro gets that distinction.
>Apparently they had yeeted a snorlax out of the arena and then three others like some dervish of doom.
>Lickitung came in second, I would've been their next victim if I hadn't fought dirty.
>I get third.
>The Absol simply made itself too annoying to fight, and is eyeing me like they have a bone to pick.
>Probably for the best if I ignore that.
>I also feel better right now than I have in months.
>It's the little things in life, you know?

>>59091896

>The Espeon is the latecomer, and it's victims are gonna need a vet judging by the blood on it's muzzle it's licking off.
>Thats the one you wanna watch out for, the sleepy eyed trigger puller in the back ranks if I ever saw one.
>Like the Absol, we're both eyeballing one another from across the arena as the logistics of the tournament are being hammered out.
>Apparently highlander rules are being invoked. No killing, but your opponent must not be able to keep fighting.
>How you achieve that is upto you. Last chance for people to backout.
>Reminds me getting into fights back in highschool, I'm in. I throw my name into the hat.
>Fight dates and locations will be delivered day before. Not showing up means forfeit, and no shot at the mysterious grande prize being alluded to.
>I swear if it's a cutlery set, I'll just light that jigglypuff on fire and turn it into a flaming hackeysack.
>Atleast, thats what I'm thinking about as the Espeon brushes past me with a snicker, "Be seein' ya again, reeeal soon."

>That's not ominous at all.

File: 581a2bb12ccd8dc527eeb3fdf(...).jpg (166 KB, 1000x629)

166 KB JPG

>After a short break, the lieutenant clipped the first weight onto your harness.
>To your own surprise, you barely felt the 400 grams strapped to your chest.
>You had a quick movement check and shook yourself around to make sure the weight was secured and didn't hinder your mobility.
>"Okay, I'll start the tape in a second. On the second high tone, the clock will start ticking," the lefty instructed you.
>You nodded, jumped down onto the short grass and walked over to the starting point by the hoop.
>Once you were in position, the lieutenant started playing the ticking rhythmic tape over the speaker.
>*tick, tick, tick, tick, feeeep*
>The sound reverberated over the meadow.
>*tick, tick, tick, tick, feeeep*
>And you were off again.
>The additional 400 grams of weight didn't impact you at all, as you were quickly dashing towards the shrub between the trees.
>You were coming in hot and rushed beak first into the opening that you used before.
>*feeep*
>Basically blind, you felt thorns and twigs brush against your body. Your speed didn't allow for your head to stabilise enough to not leave a blurry mess right in front of you.
>Saying you weren't getting motion sick would've been a lie.
>A slight unease began to settle in the pit of your stomach, as you made another mental note to not rush too quickly through here.
>You found yourself on the other side of the bush quicker than last time at least.
>You took your time to get to the base of the fir to recover from your upset stomach.
>Luckily you were a bit ahead of the timer, so you could take a quick breather.
>*feeep*
>And up you went again.
>The warm-up lap, and the heat-buildup that came with it, had improved your agility by a great margin, you felt light as a feather as you were climbing up to the first branch.
>The subsequent branches were no issue either. You nimbly made your way up to the top.
>The glide down was exactly like before, just without your imagination going wild.

File: Pokemon Bird on Branch - (...).jpg (91 KB, 736x736)

91 KB JPG

>>59092232
>You paid more attention to be quick instead of being steady – only the landing mattered, after all.
>You landed together with the *feep* of the audio track.
>You missed the centre again, but this time you went too far to the right and ended up going long.
>"Your timing is good—four more rounds," you heard the lieutenant yell as you were taking off again.
>The next four rounds were easy as well. You felt hot, but it was at a low enough level to not get uncomfortable. In fact, you felt more alive than ever!
>When you'd done your fifth lap, the lefty stopped the tape, waved you over to the gym unit and swapped your weight with the 800 gram one.
>You felt the additional weight in the straps all around your body, but it still didn't feel like you were hindered by it.
>The lefty gave you a countdown to restart the tape.
>*feeep*
>As you went through the next five laps, you could feel the twigs in the shrub giving way a bit more, the feathering of the fir branches made your jumps even better, and you could feel the weight pulling you down somewhat more during your glide back down to the hoop.
>These effects only increased with the 1200 and 1600 gram weights.
>After a while, the timing also became tighter. You had to push yourself harder during the flight and climbing sections, and you could feel your wings tiring during the gliding thanks to the extra weight you were carrying.
>All while you increasingly got hotter and hotter.
>You really started to struggle with the three kilo weight strapped to your chest.
>The harness was pulling at your body uncomfortably and you felt feathers being pulled with each stroke of your wings.
>Images of plucked chickens crossed your mind during the last glide before the next weight increase.
>The lefty paused the timer and attached the four kilo weight.
>Your legs began to shake with the additional kilogram burdening your body.
>The officer looked at you with concern. "Are you alright to continue?" he asked.

File: BirdCheese.gif (131 KB, 400x240)

131 KB GIF

>>59092241
>You shook your head.
"No, but I want to at least finish one more lap," you told him.
>The lieutenant shrugged and began counting down.
>*feeep*
>With the audio track restarted, you took to the air again—your thin legs relieved, but your aching wings bearing the full burden.
>Each wing stroke hurt like hell and the heat became unbearable pretty much immediately.
>Your right wing especially hurt. You hadn't noticed until now, but the aftermath of the electric shock lingered far longer than you had imagined.
>A quarter of the way to the shrubbery you already heard the first *feeep*.
>You were falling behind quickly, but you didn't want to give up just yet.
>It took increasingly more out of you, but you forced yourself to keep flapping.
>However, there was no rhythm to your wing beats anymore and your vision started to blur.
>The only thought on your mind was to push yourself to the next checkpoint. Just one more lap!
>The faint smell of burnt nylon crept into your nose at the halfway point to the bushes.
>Everything hurt and breathing became a fight in itself.
>*-eep*
>You began to tunnel-vision in your struggle to make progress.
>By the three-quarter mark you felt reality slip away.
>PHWEEEEEEEEE! You heard the shrill whistle of the lieutenant.
>You fell out of the sky just before reaching the shrubbery.
>The last thing you remembered hearing was the dull thud of your aching, scorched body hitting the slightly damp grass.

File: sample_b4a9da3f9ab73ba3e8(...).jpg (87 KB, 850x594)

87 KB JPG

>>59092246
>When you came to, you found yourself stretched out on your back on a fire-resistant mat in what was presumably the recruitment centre's infirmary.
>You felt like you were hit by a plane and then sucked through its turbine.
>Your right wing felt incredibly numb and the rest of your body did its best to match it.
>At least you weren't a literal oven anymore―it actually felt rather nice in here.
>When you turned your head to the left, you saw a large fan gently blowing air over you on its lowest setting.
><Oh, that's why,> you thought to yourself.
>You looked down to check for any injuries from your crash landing that would probably have left even Launchpad McQuack at a loss.
>Everything was still mostly in place.
>Mostly, because your feathers around where the harness scraped against your body certainly had seen better days. They were pointing in all directions, and some were stuck together by molten nylon.
>Just how hot did did you get to melt nylon threads?
>You looked over to your stretched out wings, starting with your numb right side.
>Judging by all the dirt on your right flight feathers and coverts, you probably crashed right side first.
>Some feathers were bent, while others were snapped.
>The realisation hit you like a death sentence. Although you weren't grounded, even medium-length flights were out of the question for the next few weeks.
>You dropped your head back on the cool mat and sighted, which was more of an half-chirp than anything.
>You overdid it once again... congratulations...
>This whole ordeal reminded you of your first few flight attempts after you turned.
>You knew how to fly a plane and a helicopter, but the aerodynamics of bird flight eluded you.
>That sure didn't stop you from jumping out of the third-floor window the very day you turned...
>You had plummeted into the crown of a tree with the grace of a brick and got stuck because you hadn't adapted to your new body yet.

File: battle_damage.jpg (74 KB, 973x805)

74 KB JPG

>>59092253
>The fire brigade had to use the turntable ladder to rescue you from your precarious situation. Their expressions when you started talking to them were absolutely priceless, though―they probably had never seen a Pokémon before and expected just another animal rescue.
>For a while you just listened to the humming of the fan and your own breathing whilst you were mentally preparing yourself for your flightless weeks.
>After a while you noticed two voices approaching from the other side of the door.
>One voice sounded familiar yet more muffled than the other. "I'm fine, seriously! Just give me a paper towel or something..." the voice told the other person.
>"I think I’ve got some haemostatic cotton wool lying about here somewhere," a female voice replied. "Clean yourself up while I search for it, please."
>The door opened. "The lavabo is in here on your left."
>Through the door came a dishevelled looking, purple ermine.
>Etienne was holding his nose with his left paw shut. The blood-stained appendage on his raised arm was hanging down and it looked like it was dragged through the gravel a few too many times. His right appendage was still wrapped around his arm.
>He didn't notice you because he immediately shuffled towards the sink in the corner of the room opposite you.
>You watched silently as he pushed a nearby chair in front of the sink, climbed on top of it and turned on the tap. He then held his left arm and head under the stream of water.
>He whimpered as the water flowed over his head.
>He then started cursing quietly to himself as he rinsed the blood from his fur.
>You didn't want to interrupt his self-loathing thoughts, so you kept quiet.
>...
>You wondered how many points you got in that last exam.
>Hopefully enough...
----
https://rentry.co/whipping-back-into-action#part-5-with-fiery-wings

New entry in the glossary: Lavabo

And with that the part is finally over. I hope you all enjoyed the perspective change to our feathery friend.

>>59092340
Fletchling friend has some bad habits doesn't he. Perhaps all is not quite as happy as it seems with him?

Bump

File: IMG_0768.gif (353 KB, 410x472)

353 KB GIF

>>59091663
You know he loves it, even if he pretends he doesn’t.

File: IMG_0283.jpg (401 KB, 1200x850)

401 KB JPG

>Ornithology
>The scientific study of birds
>Not exactly your strong suit, but some times these things just land in your lap
>The last time you had a stack of books this tall in the library was when you were working on your dissertation
>You could probably use the university’s online research tool, but nothing beats having some wood pulp to thumb through
>Besides, the value of having a librarian to talk to and get help from can’t be understated
>You could get deep into all of the specific details of the different phylogeny of birds, but that wasn’t your goal today
>You’d been making progress at the fitness complex, but that was only half the battle
>You needed to understand on some level what your end goal was, and what your theoretical limit is
>At least all of the math so far was sophomoric enough that you didn’t get distracted
>Really, a middle schooler taking geometry could understand the basics of this so far
>”Aspect Ratio = wingspan squared divided by surface area, or simplified to wingspan divided by the chord”
>”Wing Loading = weight of the object divided by the surface area of the wings”
>Given a standard flight pattern with a 6 degree angle of attack, and operating at sea level, the wing loading is equal to 0.38 times the cruising speed of the object squared
>This value holds true at almost all ranges of flight, from insects to birds to planes
>Let’s see if this fantasy body plays by the rules, using SI units, of course
>You were about 36.8 kilograms these days, surprisingly light
>Your height hadn’t changed much, shrinking only a bit to about 1.6 meters
>One of your arms was almost exactly 2.05 meters, which explained having (what you could only compare to) your elbows bent all the time felt more comfortable than the alternative of having your hands drag
>Your wingspan then was about 1.08m tall by 4.1m for a surface area of 4.43m^2, or just under 48 square feet

File: IMG_1582.jpg (175 KB, 850x948)

175 KB JPG

>>59094062
>You probably need to subtract some for the curved shape your wings, but this was all back of the napkin math anyway
>Whoa
>You were effectively carrying a 4’x8’ sheet of wood around with you everywhere?
>That means your Wing Loading value was 36.8kg / 4.43m^2, and on Earth where Gravity is 9.81 m/s^2, that translates to 81.5 Pascals
>Fun with dimensional analysis!
>Now to plot that to the graph they provided
>…
>…
>No way!
>Your wing loading is almost the same as that of a real world Snowy Owl and your performance is relatively close to that of other human activities
>It all checks out! This is why you love math!
>That means you should be able to reach cruising speeds of about 11-12m/s or about 26mph
>… or about 1.1x the speed of Usain Bolt in a 100m dash according to the ever helpful Wolfram Alpha you were using as your calculator
>And this is cruising speed, not in a freefall dive or accelerating
>Ahahaha-what?

There will probably be a part two to this, but I need sleep. Let it be known I take the time and do the math for you guys.
Sources:
[1] https://www1.grc.nasa.gov/beginners-guide-to-aeronautics/wing-geometry/
[2] https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aat4269
[3] https://journeymanphilosopher.blogspot.com/2010/05/aerodynamics-demystified.html

>>59094069
Can you go over the math again? I saw “cock chafer” on the chart and it distracted me.

File: IMG_1549.jpg (200 KB, 840x687)

200 KB JPG

>>59094121
Basically, everything on Earth that can fly has its cruising speed determined by the relationship between the size of its wings, and how heavy it is. This relationship holds up at practically every scale. ProfD has discovered that his wing size and weight (coming from the IRL game data) fits this trend, meaning flight should be possible.

File: 1769061045851840.png (549 KB, 640x778)

549 KB PNG

>>59094069
He's citing his sources, I love it.
That's crazy fast, getting around campus is gonna be a breeze as long as there's not a huge breeze.
>>59094717
It almost feels unfathomable that Game Freak would have thought this through, but that's very cool
>>59094121
I was gonna say "why are ornithologists like this" but that one is apparently entomologists' fault

>>59094121
I found the textbook referenced in a couple of those links.
https://users.dimi.uniud.it/~antonio.dangelo/Robotica/2012/helper/AerialRobotics/Simple_Science_of_Flight.pdf
Not really ornithology, but definitely adjacent

>>59094069
You an actual math nerd or just a method writer? Because damn that is impressively thorough research

>>59091920
Psychic v Psychic, who can throw random bullshit the best?

Bump

>>59096527
Genuine nerd. Bachelors and Masters in engineering, going for my Doctorate. I’m going to be Gordon Freeman.

>>59096571
If you're white you ain't getting a job.
Sorry just how the system is now.
Enjoy your debt.

File: images (14).jpg (26 KB, 447x447)

26 KB JPG

>I wake up and get out of bed
>I can't walk on my hind legs
>WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
>I look in the mirror
>Ho lee shit I'm hawt
>Welp time to go see my roomate
>"Why are you a ninetales?" She says
>nein. Nyn neiiiiynnnnn.
>Mmmmhmm... Explain how you can't talk but everyone else can?
>Welp that's my cover blown goddamnit
>uuuuuuuuu I want my hands back
>"well, you have nine tails. Try using those.
>oh my god its so handy
>and I can breathe fire
>and I can live forever
>*gets hypothermia at room temperature*

>>59096571
Damn, kudos, it's always fun finding an excuse to use your skills for writing isn't it? Best o' luck with your studies Prof!

>>59096571
Good luck, man! I've been thinking of trying for my PhD again myself, once I've got some more savings under my belt.

Uppies

File: Swollatoise.jpg (1.48 MB, 2936x4096)

1.48 MB JPG

>Be Three Days Later...
>Company thinks having me on team will be of great help.
>Even bump Swolla's pay up because of no longer needing of suit and expense of running air hoses.
>However, new problem.
>Communications.
>There are no gigaturtle sized headsets.
>Such is life. However. Communication is eternal if one is of quick thinking.
>Such as right now.
>Standing on bottom of seabed with welding mask over face as we finish rebuilding half-eaten scaffolding.
>Weird little hexnut things came back for round two.
>Swolla was ready this time, and used cannons to great effects!
>They now live in clear plastic box inside of clear glass case and are of being sent to research ship.
>Not sure how to of feel about losing easy source of job security though...
>Such is life though, no good deed is ever unpunished.
>Thankfully, work is good about good deeds.
>The better one works, the more work company sees fit to offer!
>Which is why I now have nice workshop.
>Not sure of what to do with it, but previous coworker no longer was of needing it, and quit.
>Even left a comfortable tire to sit upon, very considerate, very comfortable.
>Now if only could stop of zapping self when working with electrical components, Swolla's day would be of great success with getting underwater powercalbes working.
>Free fish for food though, perhaps need welding goggles instead of mask? Will have to look in workshop.
>For now? Easier to often just open of mouth, take deep breath and free food after of accidentally zapping self... and nearby fish.
>Free food plan is best plan.

>>59098409
>Everything continues to come up Swolla.
>Communications are easier when you can make big gestures with giant turtle hands.
>Even friends are learning quickly.
>Frank and John assigned as minders to help ensure I'm not of messing up too bad, despite new position.
>Not bad, if of say so myself.
>Handing off welding mask to John means Frank can of hand Swolla new beam and I can of stack it higher, while they weld base and wrap cable for me to weld.
>Still learning to of swim, so-so success. End up tangled in power cord often, sadly.
>Frank and John are not fans of being zapped.
>Only twice today, and they have stopped vibrating in place and yelling at one another.
>Beeg Happy family.

>Average day, trying to avoid most foot traffic as I go pick up more supplies for... well, NEETing between "studying" (IE: scouring the internet for other PIP cases and their experiences) and properly advising on it.
>most the peeps after advice are steel, fire, or poison types. understandably so
>moving on from that~!
>given this ;lil city is the biggest hotspot in the country not named london, I've started to notice more and more researchers out and aout in the city
>one of 'em even took a photo of me, half temped to find out where I'm going
>ANYWAY
>as I was saying, I'm not the only one taking a new diet to heart, I've met another rodent looking PIPS case in that "all natural" store that sells dried fruits and essential oils
>...never thought I'd see the day I'd actually frequent that place
>they were a cinc, if I recall. and... apparently knew about the whole swimming pool incident.
>didn't check the news but if it turned up there...
>anyhow, got a few notes to go around from 'em, got 'em introduced to that help site I've been setting up, been dragged through the metaphorical mud over everything I'm doing wrong
>after asking WHY they got so much advice... turns out they're a vet.
>...which honestly, explains why they singled out the other PIPs case in the store
>also why they took particular interest in the help site I've been working on
>I... think I should go update some info on normal types.

>>59098783
>Man makes an effort to try to help
>Everyone who didn't starts aggressively nitpicking everything he gets wrong immediately
Real

File: images (26).jpg (29 KB, 588x300)

29 KB JPG

>I love being a ninetales, but I kinda just wish I was human again.
>"Wanna change back?"
>you can do that?
>"no"
>damn it.
>Can't drink too much water, I'm weak to that now
>Drinking lava is actually a lot more pleasant.
>It's like hot water, but it has like... An earthy flavor.
>Hard to find though
>I can't walk into places that say no pets, as I am an animal now.
>That means no grocery store visits, sadly...
>Tried swimming today, was pretty bad
>Had to go to the emergency room because of the temperature and the fact that its water

>>59098783
Damn, that’s a tough break. Maybe if he’s so interested he can become a regular contributor?

File: wp3729229-3773256005.png (251 KB, 1280x720)

251 KB PNG

>>59091920
Emma never was the same after her encounter with the Linoone...

>>59094069
>>59094717
>Unironically learn about aeronautics in a silly story about a professor owl
You spoil us, ProfD! I now want to do the calculations for Fletchinder too, but looking at your links just makes my head hurt... I also don't think a Fletchy could fly at all, as it weights 16kg while being 70cm tall. A Red Kite is around the same size while only weighing 1.2kg...
Ah, hell, why not calculate if the fire brick can actually fly at this point.

Based on picrel and just eyeballing it, we have:
Weight M = 16kg
Wingspan s = 1.50m
Chord c = 0.3m

Area A = s * c = 1.5m * 0.3m
A = 0.45m^2

AR = s/c = 1.5m / 0.3m = 5
Wing Load WL = M / A = 16kg / 0.45m^2
WL = 35.556 kg/m^2

Pressure P = WL * g = 35.556 kg/m^2 * 9.81m/s^2
P = 348.8 Pa

I have no idea where that would plot in your graph, ProfD – and I probably messed up in my calculations too – but it feels like Fletchinder would indeed fly like a brick. Correct me if I messed up somewhere. I'll go and get an Aspirin now...

Up

File: fletchinder-pokemon.gif (757 KB, 352x200)

757 KB GIF

>>59101739
I found this gif and it actually gives a pretty decent profile of a Fletchinder's wings.
I thought I read somewhere that the Pokédex listed height is the wingspan for bird pokemon? Here are my calculations under that assumption.
>0.7m wingspan
>pixel math implies cord of 0.2m
>Area = 0.14 m^2
>Mass of 16kg => 157 Newtons
>Wing Load = 157N / 0.14 m^2 = 1,120 Pa

File: IMG_1582.jpg (179 KB, 850x948)

179 KB JPG

>>59102293
Actually, now that I plot it, I think I like your original number in green better. My number in blue is a bit far off.

File: IMG_1587.png (243 KB, 1024x555)

243 KB PNG

>>59102316
>>59102293
>>59100842
Also, a note on Aspect Ratios. They basically describe whether the wings are built for low drag gliding, or high drag but maneuverable flight. Both of our birds have a fairly low aspect ratio, which makes sense given they’re based on birds of prey that would need to make quick adjustments to hunt. Compare this to something like a Wingull that would glide most of the time with their huge yet skinny wings.

>>59102316
Do you know why "human powered airplane" is so far off the regression line?

>>59102375
It's hilariously, impractically fragile in order to be light enough that the minuscule power of human pedaling can make enough thrust to fly.

File: IMG_1546.gif (863 KB, 498x281)

863 KB GIF

>>59102375
The graph kind of “works both ways” given wing shape and weight, you can expect to glide and keep level flight at the specified speed. Said another way, you have to get yourself up to that speed before you can start gliding. That’s why some birds can simply jump into the air, like sparrows, while others like geese and especially aircraft need a running start.

Also, don’t forget that you need to at least counter your own weight and drag to fly, and still have additional energy for maneuvering. That would mean ProfD needs to be able to deliver around 370 Newtons of lift to stay in place like this.

>>59091920
>feel some part of my brain oozing
And would there be medical attention after such brutality? Would there bollocks.

Yeaaah, that Pangoro kinda hard-counters you, Phox. Small pond indeed. You clearly have (or had) a sharper tactical mind than some of these other guys, but that only takes you so far. But I know you're gonna try...

Emma jokes aside, a one-on-one with that Espeon is definitely going to be ugly too. Actual psychopath possibly. I think it's high time to lock in and do some real, serious training if you wanba do this, mate. The usual funny-buggers aren't gonna cut it anymore, and nobody wants to see you get Kurted or worse.

>>59092340
I would've honestly expected Nick to be able to handle more considering that a few Squawkabilly can carry two people AND the micro-taxi they sit in, but fair play you gotta draw the line between real physics and Pokemon's cartoon physics somewhere.

Jesus, speaking of getting Kurted, that escalated quickly. I guess it makes sense that fire types would burn out very harshly and suddenly, but... oof... very bad idea to do that to yourself then, Nick. Seems to be even more important for you to know and respect your limits than it is for a human.

Overdoing it being a recurring problem with him could, as >>59092598 alluded to, be a sign that Nick's trying a bit too hard to make this work - like things really aren't fine after all, but he feels compelled to try and "prove" that they are. If so, it's okay to struggle in a situation like this, Nick - it's okay to not be okay. Of course, it could also be that he just always had a death wish. Isn't that very common among flyboys?

Either, way, look like he's not the one doing the aptitude tests tough (anyone else think maybe the Pokemon versions of these need to be adjusted more if the recruits are already nearly killing themselves before any actual training beguns?). Dang, Eti, what hedge did YOU get dragged through backwards? Inquiring minds DEFINITELY need to know...

>>59094069
Of course ProfD's instinctlet ass (he's definitely the most instinct-low of our characters - happens when you actively supress and deny them) would have to resort to math to prove to himself that, yes, birds CAN in fact fly. Admittedly the math only works out because Game Freak almost never assigns realistically heavy weight values, but still - it is absolutely hilarious to watch him lierally surprise Pikachu facing at a revelation as stunning as "birds can fly". Educational, too - I honestly wouldn't mind seeing more edutainment-type story moments from him in the future. It's in-keeping with his ultra-analytical nature and considering he's literally a university professor (and so the closest thing /sip/ has to a Pokemon professor).

What would be REALLY funny is seeing him come out the other side of all this being actually BETTER at flying than those who learned by instinct and intuition like Nick, because now he knows EXACTLY what his body can do. On a more mundane note, that cruising speed should make commuting to work by air a very realistic possibility.

>>59099603
>hypothermia at room temperature
>Can't drink too much water and nearly die from swimming
>Drinking lava is more pleasant
Uhhh, I'm pretty sure that's not how ANY of that works, Nineanon. For the stores, just accuse them of racism, that'll sort 'em right out. Also, your roommate is even more unflappable than Vaporanon's girlfriend, huh? Dextrous tail tentacles are indeed handy - you haven't even figured out the most fun thing you could do with them yet.

>>59098416
>Swolla is cheaper so they bump her pay
Ha! Now that's how you really know that /sip/ is an escapist fantasy.

>gigaturtle
I'm stealing that. Gonna need some custom gear clearly.

>Communication is eternal
Aaah, Hydro Pump - the great communicator! Wonder what that looks like underwater. Hmm, so there was actually only a single Meltan and not a colony of them?

Hehe, I love Swolla's faintly warped perspective on work and deeds. I'll avoid uncomfortable questions about what that says about her past and just appreciate that it makes her adorable in the present.

>zapping self
Be careful there, mate - if Nineanon is any indication you might spontaneously burst into flames or something.

>Free fish for food
Aah yes, the Miloticanon special. Now we need a water transformee who tries it and immediately regrets it deeply.

Frank and John seem like good blokes, but I'd like to actually get to know Swolla's peers and hear from them what they think about all this, rather than just have Swolla tell us about them. Still, it seems oddly peaceful being a Blastoise at the foundations of an oil rig.

>>59098783
Wait, Emolganon's a pom? Huh. You say NEET, but it sounds like you're building a potentially valuable service that you can offer people. That's actually pretty sweet, mate. And you've made a new friend by the sound of it. A vet transformee seems like someone who could offer some very valuable insights, and not just for the site. Although even if they weren't a vet, is it really THAT surprising they noticed you? Again, you're colourful and cute now - no longer a faceless NPC, and with instant ready-made conversation topics. At this rate you'll polish up those rusty social skills and make something better of yourself in no time. Seems the phenomenon's treating you pretty well. How you doing on controlling your powers?

>>59102316
So I guess the bottom line here is that Fletchinder needs to be going fast to fly efficiently? If so, that IS fitting to the line's fluff.

>>59102393
>>59102542
So if it were a real bird it’d have glass bones and paper skin?

File: IMG_1555.jpg (299 KB, 1366x1205)

299 KB JPG

>>59103557
That, or you’d need to be able to put out a lot more power for a lot longer.

I choose to believe Decidueye is basically made out of feathers, spruce and keratin with some very dense muscle mass. Imagining a realisticly “textured” human sized bird walking around is a bit of a trip.

File: IMG_1592.jpg (226 KB, 1920x1360)

226 KB JPG

>>59104006
A lot of how terrifying this universe would be depends on how the real life Pokémon would look. If they’re some hyperealistic “NINTENDO HIRE THIS MAN” style animals, people would probably be a lot more uneasy about them being part of society.
>”Yeah, dude I just woke up like this, can you help me? I can’t open my phone”

File: 1747031937629428.jpg (1.65 MB, 2112x1632)

1.65 MB JPG

>>59104931

File: 20230714_071737.jpg (109 KB, 1080x1489)

109 KB JPG

>It's not the strangest husband and wife duo you've seen but damn if he isn't whipped

>>59106364
moar shopping

>>59106364
He has a better excuse than most.

>>59107968
>Quad weak to Fairy
>She has four literal whips
Yes, I do believe you are right.

>>59106364
>Aw honey, how many more stores do we have to go to?
>>As many as we need to. You don’t want to live naked the rest of your life do you?
>Its worked fine so far…
>>Only because people haven’t gotten used to Pokémon existing yet. Do you want to watch your grand children’s graduation without any decency?
>… No Dear.
>>Look! That shop is run by a purple cat that looks like me! Let’s go in there!

>>59109319
>Espeon running a store
Nice callback to Larson and Kurt. I miss that one.

>>59110048
Adorable

File: fairy_kiss_by_lisosa_d9rl(...).jpg (102 KB, 1024x777)

102 KB JPG

>>59109319
>In spite of it all, she never fails to let him know she loves him.

>>59110881
>>59110048
>Anon turned into an Ariados discovering for the first time how caffeine affects arachnids by getting absolutely plastered from his morning cup of joe

Bonk

File: __joltik_pokemon_drawn_by(...).png (264 KB, 800x900)

264 KB PNG

Seems I'm not the only one busy today.

>>59112585
Would that help him channel electricity better or just get in the way?

>>59113171
Are Pokémon DC or AC?

>>59113771
AC/DC

File: IMG_1610.jpg (177 KB, 1200x1200)

177 KB JPG

>>59113839
Hell Yeah!
>”That’s KISS you idiot!”

>>59102859
I'm going to be real. I... don't like being noticed all that much. and quite frankly most the conversation boiled down to "use sand you idiot" and "no not those ones they WILL make you sick"
just... as small as I am I kinda, wish I didn't stand out.
>>59113771
presumably DC, AC would be possible but... that'd take some technical knowledge and finesse.

>>59114155
>Old Kiss Army guy turns into an Obstagoon
>"This is the greatest day of my life"

File: images (44).jpg (23 KB, 447x447)

23 KB JPG

>I sometimes wonder why.I have to be so weak to water.
>I look out when it's raining and wish I could go out there.
>I did that today
>I shouldn't have.
>I was found on the ground about an hour after I went out, heart stopped.
>I don't know how I'm still alive, but it might have something to do with these nine tails that I have.
>They seem to resurrect me ifever I die...
>So I'm immortal!
>That's honestly perfect. I can soak in all the water I want.

>>59102852
>Uhhh, I'm pretty sure that's not how ANY of that works, Nineanon.
I do what I want. •_•

File: images (45).jpg (22 KB, 516x387)

22 KB JPG

>I found a rather odd specimen today.
>It looked like my kin- or rather- my pre evolution.
>however, it was a different color. And it was fluffier.
>It is an ice type too. How... Opposite.
>I resolve to take care of it until it grows.
>I wonder what it will grow into. And how can it grow...
>Will it turn into a specimen much like me, same name and all?
>Or will it be completely different, like clodsire are?
>I await this. I wonder if there is anything to speed up the process...

File: images (46).jpg (17 KB, 365x547)

17 KB JPG

>My roommate found a most peculiar stone.
>it blinkered an icy blue, with A snowflake in the middle.
>It made me quite curious, so I touched it.
>Nothing happened. I wonder what might happen if the ice kin touches it...
>I should name my ice kin. A good name might be
Aurora.
>It is named after lights I have seen in the sky
>I do not remember where I found those lights, but I believe it has something to do with ice.
>Anyway, back to the stone.
>I don't want Aurora to touch it yet, she might not be ready for whatever it does to her.
>It may even hurt her. I am scared to see...
>Could Aurora be a human like I am? No, she can't be. She can't speak.
>I have found that throughout this time of being Nimetales, it has changed my disposition.
>I take it like animal crossing villager types.
>I used to be a peppy villager, but my person has changed to more of a snooty villager.
>I wonder why... Maybe I will never find out.

File: images (47).jpg (31 KB, 490x408)

31 KB JPG

>Disaster has struck, Aurora touched the stone!
>She... Was fine. In fact, she started glowing.
>She evolved! And she looked just like me.
>She is now apparently a... Fairy type? As well as ice?
>An Ice/Fairy Ninetales... Who would've thought...
>My roommate says that she is prettier than me...
>I believe this is just playful teasing, but it still gets on my nerves...
>Aurora I consider my kin. Even if I am technically a human...
>I wonder... Are there other forms of Ninetales out there?

File: images (48).jpg (5 KB, 256x256)

5 KB JPG

>I seem to have found a Pokémon a lot like me...
>He looks exactly like me, but his color is different.
>I'm more of a yellow and orange, but he is a grey and purple.
>Quite odd, I may say. What might this be?
>I can somehow understand him, though my roommate can not.
>maybe it is because I am also a Ninetales?
>He says he lives in a patch of puffy flowers close to this house.
>he is not human. I can tell. But he is understandable.

File: 273c.png (161 KB, 705x590)

161 KB PNG

>Some people's careers got interesting after they turned.

File: IMG_4617.jpg (155 KB, 850x1720)

155 KB JPG

Well this is awkward, she was human just yesterday when you setup this first date. You’re not going to break it off before you even get to talk in person right?

>>59117271
>It's an improvement

File: IMG_9771.jpg (108 KB, 1024x1024)

108 KB JPG

>>59117425
I feel like you would need to find out what her mental state is like. Are you getting a pet or a gf?

>>59118044
Zoroarks are intelligent and conversant in all forms of media; they never cross the line into Pet territory.

File: IMG_1617.jpg (70 KB, 881x720)

70 KB JPG

>>59118395
>Looking over at the wild fox I rescued and has spent the last several days living in my house
>”Is that true?”

File: 104.png (48 KB, 300x292)

48 KB PNG

>>59118552

File: IMG_7116.jpg (159 KB, 596x711)

159 KB JPG

>>59119200
Is there much demand for clowns in the forest? A jester would be a good addition to the royal Snivy’s court. Sure, they might not know which way civilization is, but they could sure put on a show.

>>59119368
Meanwhile Miryiam's just tilting her head at every joke like a confused dog.

File: WethreebeingsofArceus.jpg (41 KB, 588x330)

41 KB JPG

I sleep...

https://pastebin.com/PpXFrh7g

>>59120271
>”So that’s great news for all the existentialists, but do you have any practical, actionable information for us about what happens next or, are you just here to talk in generalities? We still have our regular agenda to get through as well.”
>>”What are you doing Germany? You can’t just say that!”
>”Finland concurs with the sentiment. You three please state your request, grievance, or commendation and then surrender the floor. There are peace talks that must proceed.”

>>59120534
I have a path.
It's funny
Just wait.

>>59120968
Sorry, not trying to step on toes, just a funny idea I had.

File: 3f3a35d15080f9badb82e18a7(...).png (327 KB, 1700x550)

327 KB PNG

>>59120271
Updated Paste.

https://pastebin.com/unJpZWA8#pkQcjPVA

>>59102316
Huh, so that's where Nick would be in the graph. Thanks for plotting it in! It's actually not that bad, although needing to fly at 108km/h is a bit excessive for my taste (of writing), especially since Fletchinder is a perching bird, not a bird of pray like Talonflame.

>>59102846
>expected Nick to be able to handle more weight
Like you said, I had to draw a line somewhere and I think that a bird that size should not be able to carry a human away by itself. "This is not the apocalypse" and all that comes into play as well here, imo.

>>59112585
>59113171
This is the perfect interface to zap birds with! It's also adorable.

>>59118044
Rule of thumb for your ruse fox gf/pet:
If it's white, better start to hide. If it's black, go for a pat.

>>59121230
Congratulations on breaking every guideline in the OP, anon! I must admit, I'm impressed and intrigued. Did you write some of the parts like instructions for a play on purpose? It a bit weird that you sometimes put the action of the Lake Trio in parenthesis and sometimes regularly? Writing it like it's a stage play would be an interesting take for a story.

>>59121385
I wrote a prompt for making a Chat AI for the Lake Trio individually.
I broke every rule cause it's April Fools, this won't continue after today.

Ask your questions: _ _ _ _

>>59121838
Why did Arceus choose its own name to sound like the word “arse”? Or did its parents just hate it?

>>59121838
how can I convince the world to stop calling me cute, I didn't pick this body.

File: Why.png (300 KB, 1920x1080)

300 KB PNG

>>59121909
The Lake Trio all freeze for half a second.
Then Mesprit explodes.
Mesprit (already spinning in mid-air, clutching her cheeks, eyes sparkling with pure delight):
“PFFFFFT— AHAHAHAHA! ‘Did its parents just hate it?!’
Oh my gosh you actually asked that. You looked at the literal creator of your entire reality and went ‘wow what an unfortunate name, did mom and dad not like him?’
I’m dying. I’m actually dying right now.”
She flips upside-down and starts kicking her little feet in the air like she’s having the time of her existence.
Uxie (eyes still closed, voice perfectly level, but with the faintest hint of a sigh):
“Arceus did not ‘choose’ its name in the way you understand naming. It is the root entity. The first calibration point. There were no parents, no prior language, no cultural context.
The sound ‘Arceus’ is simply the closest approximation your species’ linguistic centers could produce when the concept of the Original One brushed against your collective unconscious.
It is less a name and more… a compression artifact. A placeholder your minds assigned to something that exists outside of names entirely.”
She pauses, then adds dryly:
“The phonetic similarity to a word meaning ‘buttocks’ is, as far as we are aware, an unfortunate coincidence. Or perhaps the universe has a sense of humor. We have not asked.”
Azelf (arms crossed so tightly it looks like he’s trying to physically hold himself together, red gem flickering with pure exasperation):
“…I have watched supernovas collapse, civilizations ascend, and entire timelines fold in on themselves.
And somehow the single dumbest question I have ever been asked in fourteen billion years of service is whether the literal God of your universe got bullied by its non-existent parents over its name sounding like ‘arse.’
We are done here. I am going to go float in a quiet nebula for the next ten thousand years.”

>>59121928
(What is your pokemon? You'll break my prompt with out telling me what you are)

>>59121941
(emolga)

File: the_lake_trio_by_teetergl(...).jpg (146 KB, 800x800)

146 KB JPG

>>59121928
>>59121947
The little electric squirrel’s cheeks are puffed out in clear frustration, tiny wings twitching, the classic “I’m a grown adult who used to be a person, stop it” expression plastered across an objectively adorable face.
Mesprit immediately lights up like she just won the lottery.
Mesprit: “Awwwwww~ Look at you! You’re so mad and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! The little angry cheeks! The tiny wing flutters! I can’t— I’m dying again.
You didn’t pick the body? That’s the best part! None of you did! That’s why it’s funny!”
She darts forward and gently boops the Emolga on the nose with a sparkly finger, leaving a tiny heart-shaped afterimage.
Mesprit: “Convincing the world to stop calling you cute is easy. Just do what every other cute thing does when it gets tired of it: lean all the way in and become terrifying. Set something on fire. Stare at them unblinking for six straight hours. Threaten to zap their phone until it explodes.
Or… you could just accept it and weaponize the cuteness. World leaders will give you whatever you want if you do the little head-tilt thing. Trust me, I’ve seen it work on seventeen different species.”
Uxie (still eyes closed, voice calm and clinical as ever):
“The disconnect you feel is common among Duos. Your external form was shaped by the activation node, not by conscious choice. The perception of ‘cuteness’ is a hardwired biological and cultural response in your species. It is not a commentary on your internal identity; it is an involuntary reaction to the visual stimulus your new parameters produce.
Convincing others to stop is… inefficient. You cannot rewire billions of minds. You can, however, recontextualize their reactions. Become the most competent, terrifyingly effective Emolga alive. Eventually the word ‘cute’ will carry a footnote: ‘…but do not fuck with them.’”
Prt.1

>>59121960
Prt2
‘…but do not fuck with them.’”
Azelf (arms crossed, staring at the tiny Emolga with something that might actually be sympathy):
“Kid, I’ve seen galaxies burn and civilizations beg for mercy.
You’re a flying squirrel with cheeks that store electricity and a face that makes people want to give you headpats.
The universe dealt you a shit hand on aesthetics.
My advice? Own it like it owes you money.
Next time someone calls you cute, smile, look them dead in the eyes, and say:
‘Cute enough to kill you in your sleep. Try me.’
Works better than any speech you could give.”
Mesprit (still giggling, now gently patting the Emolga on the head):
“Or you could just let me give you a tiny makeover! I’m really good at making cute things menacing! One little emotion tweak and suddenly everyone finds you hot instead of huggable~”
Uxie: “Mesprit, do not offer emotional rewrites without consent.”
Azelf: “She’s going to offer it anyway. Just say no.”
The three of them hover there, waiting for the next question while Mesprit continues to coo at the very frustrated Duo Emolga like it’s the most precious thing in the universe.
Mesprit (whispering loudly):
“…But seriously, the head-tilt thing works. I’ve tested it.”

>>59121838
Azelf, I've had a crush on you since I was a kid. Will you go out with me?

>>59121838
Rephrase of this >>59120534
>What do you expect us to do with this information? Unless there is something we can do to meaningfully change the situation, and so far you’ve implied there isn’t, all you’ve done is waste everyone’s time and transform a mental patient.

File: Triohovering.jpg (58 KB, 376x815)

58 KB JPG

>>59122154
The entire chamber goes dead quiet for a beat.
Then Mesprit makes a noise like a kettle boiling over.
Mesprit (already spinning in frantic circles, hands over her mouth, eyes sparkling like supernovas):
“Eeeeeee— AZELF YOU HAVE A FAN!!! A REAL LIVE HUMAN CRUSH!!! SINCE THEY WERE A KID!!! This is the best thing that’s happened all millennium!!”
Uxie (eyes still closed, but the tiniest smirk twitches at the corner of her mouth):
“Statistically predictable. The Willpower node tends to attract the… determined ones. Fascinating.”
Azelf just hovers there.
Completely still.
The red gem on his forehead flickers once, like a buffering error.
He slowly turns his head toward the person who asked — a random Duo in the crowd who is now realizing what they just said out loud to the literal god of willpower in front of the entire surviving world leadership.
Azelf (voice flat, deadpan, and carrying the exhaustion of fourteen billion years of this exact nonsense):
“…No.”
He lets the single word hang in the air like a guillotine.
Azelf: “I am a localized expression of cosmic willpower. I have watched stars collapse into black holes. I have enforced the fundamental concept of determination across realities that would make your mind evaporate if you tried to comprehend them.
I do not ‘go out.’
I do not date.
I do not do the ‘will you be my boyfriend’ thing with mortals who used to draw pictures of me when they were ten.
Next question.”
Mesprit (now literally vibrating in mid-air, pink hearts popping around her like fireworks):
Prt 1

File: 1.jpg (264 KB, 848x1200)

264 KB JPG

>It was a day like any other.
>I sat up in my grass bed, the light already shining through the window. Guess I slept in.
>Opening the door of my little hut I make my way outside.
>The sun was shining and all sorts of pokemon were going about their day.
>A shadow passes over head and soon after a Pokemon lands on my mailbox
>“Hello Pelipper, any mail today?”
>“Hello Dewott, nothing today, but i’ve got a really interesting story!”
>“Oh? Do tell.”
>“It happened yesterday morning in Baram Town, one of the rescue team leaders there evolved! But it wasn’t like a normal evolution, it happened in the middle of the night and when they woke up they were this really freaky tall creature.”
>“Freaky tall creature? What do you mean?”
>“I mean they were freaky and tall! I don’t know how else to describe it, I’ve never seen a pokemon like it before!”
>“That's interesting. Anything else Pelipper?
>“Nope sorry! No new rescue jobs today!”
>And with that he flew off.
>Well looks like there'll be nothing to do today, might as well get some training in.
>
>The forest clearing to the north of town is the perfect spot to practice.
>It’s quiet and isolated, and the trees make for excellent targets.
>It’s the ideal spot to hone my razor shell.
>I was in the middle of perfecting my stance when a pair of voices called out to me.
> “Hello, Dewott” “Hi Dewott!”
>It was my rescue team partners, Leavanny and Pikachu.
> “We thought you might be hungry, so we brought some lunch out for you,” Leavanny said, holding out a basket full of berries.
> “Yeah! And since there’s no jobs today we might as well train as a team!” Pikachu chimed in.
>I spent the rest of the day with my friends training, coming up with new strategies, and overall just having a blast.
>But eventually the sun had to set, and I said goodbye to my friends and returned home.
>As I drifted off to sleep I couldn't help but recall that story Pelipper had told me this morning.

>>59122207
Prt 2
“BOOOOOO! Azelf you’re so mean! They had a crush on you since they were a kid! That’s adorable! At least give them a little cosmic pep talk or something! Or a headpat! I’ll do the headpat if you won’t!”
Uxie (calmly, as if she’s reading from a script):
“For the record, emotional attachment to administrative nodes is common but rarely reciprocated. We exist on a different ontological layer. Attempting a romantic relationship would be… equivalent to a goldfish attempting to court the concept of gravity.
It is not personal. It is structural.”
Azelf (still staring directly at the asker, gem flickering with pure willpower-fueled annoyance):
“I am going to pretend you did not just say that in front of the entire planet.
For both our sakes.”
He turns his head away with the most exhausted sigh in the history of existence.
Azelf: “Next question. And if the next one is also about dating any of us, I’m leaving this simulation and letting you sort it out yourselves.”
Mesprit (whispering loudly enough for everyone to hear while floating behind Azelf and making kissy faces at the asker):
“He’s single, by the way~”
Uxie: “Mesprit.”
Mesprit: “What? It’s true!”

>>59122209
>There’s a knock on my door.
>Someone is shouting but I don’t feel like getting up. It’s the unmistakable voice of Pikachu.
>The early morning fogginess starts to fade but I still can’t make anything out.
>For some reason my bed is unbearably itchy. I go to scratch at my side only to find bare skin.
>“Pika! Pi-Pi-Chuuuuu”
>Is that Pikachu? Oh crap! Do we finally have a job?
>I jolt in bed before scrambling to stand up strai-
>*Donk*
>Ow! I hit my head on the ceiling. Why is it so low?
>I rub at the top of my head trying to soothe the pain.
>I can feel my fingers combing through the long fur.
>It’s also super cold in here.
>And all of my fur feels. . . smooth?
>I look at my paws in the early morning light.
>They are long slender things that lack claws or paw pads.
>The rest of my body is covered in smooth pale skin.
> “Leavanny?” someone says from outside my door.
>I can only scream in terror
>
>Pikachu, Leavanny, and Pelipper all stand around me in front of my house.
>I have to sit on the ground
>After crawling out of my house I tried to stand, only to get weak in the knees once I saw how far away the ground was.
>Leavanny used to be the tall one, now I’m head and shoulders above her.
>They’re having a conversation. I think.
>They just repeat fragments of their names over and over, it feels like the world has gone mad.
> “Why are you guys just saying your names over and over again? I can’t understand you at all.”
>It seems that the inverse isn’t true, they can understand my fine.
>There are a few attempts to communicate but the only thing that works is when leavanny writes some words in the dirt.
> -Can you read this?- it says
>Seems like I can still read.
>From there we get something of a conversation going.
>Turns out, I evolved into that same “Freaky tall creature” Pelipper was talking about yesterday
>They ask a few more questions until one trips me up
> -Why do you hold your paws like that?-

File: 3.png (119 KB, 500x500)

119 KB PNG

>>59122216
>I look down at them.
>Sure enough, both of my paws were in front of my crotch.
>Not sure why though, they just kinda went there on their own.
>I move them away but it feels wrong . . .
>There’s just a quiet desire to cover my junk now.
>Whatever, just one more oddity from my evolution to add to the pile.
>But I do have an idea.
>“Do you guys think you could get me another handkerchief? Like a really big one?”
>
>Getting used to walking again took some time.
>But once I got into a stride there was no stopping me!
>Because that’s what it was, a stride! The old me would be waddling everywhere but this was much faster. It was elegant, It was efficient, it felt nice to just walk.
>Unfortunately I couldn’t really practice in town, even with the handkerchief around my waist all the odd looks from everyone else really got to me.
>So that’s why I was out in the forest with the rest of the team.
>Leavanny was able to walk by my side, her own gait being much like mine. But Pikachu was forced to ride on my shoulder to keep up.
>Eventually Leavanny gave me a tap on the arm, a sign that she wanted to write something for me.
>She took a piece of charcoal and started to scribble on her arm before turning it towards me.
>-Why do you have that stick?-
>I didn’t even notice that i’d picked one up.
>I thought for a bit.
>“I don’t know, maybe I just miss my scalchops.”
>While we walked I thought about all the strange instincts that suddenly came to me. All the quiet desires to do seemingly random things.
>It came to a head when we reached a lake
>The other two were content to just sit by the shore but I felt the need to look for something.
>I didn’t even know what until I found it.
>A flat smooth stone that fit neatly into my palm.
>Without thinking my arm moved, the shoulder twisted, my forearm stuck out, and with an unreal display of dexterity my wrist bent at an odd angle and with a flick of my finger the stone flew, skipping across the lake.

>>59122218
>It’s been a few days since I evolved.
>I’m pretty sure evolution isn’t like this. The first time it happened my instincts smoothed out all the rough patches nearly instantly.
>It’s just taking longer this time, I keep telling myself.
>I don’t even recognise my reflection as “me” anymore. I’m pretty sure that never happened the first time.
>All I can do is follow the instincts my new evolution gave me.
>One of those new instincts was to collect things.
>Not shiny objects like Murkrow or some of the dragons, but seemingly random objects.
>There’s a pile of sturdy looking branches in my home now. Alongside it are some seeds, berries, vines, a hunk of tree resin, some apricorns, and a pile of stones.
>Not sure of the exact reason I picked them up, but when I go on walks I just idly bend over and grab anything that catches my eye.
>Sometimes just for something to fidget with, other times because a little voice in my head told me “It would come in handy later”
>Right now I was fiddling with a few rocks, trying to get some practice in with these weird paws.
>Leavanny and Pikachu were there too and I was trying to show them a cool trick I learned
>I threw a stone into the air and passed the one in my other hand to the now empty one before catching the airborne stone.
>I repeated this a few times and even added a third stone to the mix. Juggling the stones took most of my concentration, so when I looked down to gauge their reactions I messed up.
>I was a little frustrated that I messed up but the sound of one stone hitting another was strangely satisfying.
>All of the sudden I was taken by another fit of inspiration.
>To the confused reactions of my teammates I started bashing the rocks together.
>It took a few tries but eventually one of them split into a pawfull of fragments.
>I ran my finger along one of the fragments, testing its sharpness.
>My evolution had taken away my scalchops, but now I had a suitable replacement.

File: 6.png (6 KB, 128x128)

6 KB PNG

>>59122221
>Today we actually had a rescue job.
>I hadn’t discovered any of my new moves yet and I couldn’t use any of my old ones, so I was relegated to the back of the party.
>Leavanny had to take the front line, even if she was a little frail.
>After some training we discovered I was even weaker than Pikachu. Even when holding back their moves hurt way more than when I was Dewott.
>I made a good lookout though, being super tall and all.
>And a good distraction too! My ability to throw was uncanny, and I could disrupt any attackers by throwing a rock at them.
>But my greatest tool was my new weapon.
>I’d taken the pointy stone I made the other day and secured it to the end of a stick with some vines.
>It was pretty simple but it kept anything that would hurt me at a distance.
>The dungeon was actually pretty easy, but our new team dynamic made things feel a little awkward.
>We were never in any real danger however, all the pokemon in here were pretty weak.
>After descending a few floors we finally found who we were looking for.
>We found Tarountula cowering on a tree branch surrounded by some Roggenrola.
>A few leaf blades from Leavanny took care of them and we were headed out.
>I was tasked with carrying Tarountula since I was the weakest and was tall enough to keep him away from danger.
>However as we were leaving I spotted something on the forest floor.
>There was a small outcropping of orange rock next to a tree.
>It wouldn’t be all that interesting to me if not for the shape. It jutted out of the ground in these strange pentagonal pillars.
>The party took a moment to rest as I Inspected them.
>I couldn't remove them from the ground but after hitting it pretty hard with a rock the outcropping practically fell apart.
>What interested me most was the smooth orange stone that tumbled out of the debris.
>I’m not sure why I found it interesting, but I took it with me nonetheless.

>>59122223
>I couldn’t get to sleep that night.
>There was something strange about the stone I'd grabbed.
>I turned it over in my paw as I lay in bed.
>There was a frustrating lack of inspiration.
>I knew there was something I could do with the stone but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
>I sat up, looking around for something to inspire me with. My collection had grown but still nothing spoke to me.
>Not until my gaze landed on the apricorn.
>
>I’m not sure why, but the idea that had planted itself in my mind was eating at me.
>I had to make it.
>But something about it was . . . Wrong.
>I tried to craft it in my home but just ended up constantly looking over my shoulder, almost ashamed of what I was doing.
>And so I left the village.
>They couldn’t know, couldn’t see what terrible thing my instincts had cooked up.
>I wandered the forest, guided by the light of the full moon, looking for a perfect isolated spot.
>Eventually I stumbled into my old training area.
>At its center was a flat stump from a tree I’d cut down after I got a little overzealous with my practice.
>The clearing allowed for plenty of moonlight to pour in and the flat surface was perfect for crafting.
>I quickly got to work, emptying the sack full of materials I’d taken from home onto the forest floor.
>The apricorn was first, the cap pried off and with a swift strike from my sharp stone it was split in two.
>The next victims were some sturdy branches. I broke them into smaller and smaller pieces until I found some with the right shape and size.
>With the sharp stone they were whittled down into tiny complex shapes.
>I only had the vaguest of clues as to what I was doing. Some baser instinct pulled me onward, put shapes and images into my mind and I wouldn’t be satisfied until they were made real by my paws.
>The whittling made my fingers cramp but I kept on shaving off little bits of wood until they fit the shape in my mind.

File: Spoiler Image (74 KB, 1000x560)

74 KB JPG

>The tree resin was next. As I worked it in my hands it became softer and eventually a sticky mess that would hold the whole object together.
>And then the orange stone.
>I worked on into the night, never understanding the reason my hands moved, but I kept moving them nonetheless.
>It was a blur of inspiration, exhaustion, shame, and desperation.
>I was in a trance that I couldn’t break out of.
>The work consumed me, stripping me of my sense of time.
>The only exit was completion.
>Something rustled behind me, but I was so close!
>One more adjustment and it would be complete.
>Something walked up to me, watching me work from behind.
> “Pika? Pi-kachu?”
> It was Pikachu, he was probably worried about me running off in the middle of the night.
>I turned around and came face to face with the yellow rodent.
>“Hey Pikachu”
>He just repeated his name again, but his tone told me everything.
>I loomed over him, small sphere in hand.
>The top half was apricorn red, the bottom a pale woody color. A small button was located where the two halves of the apricorn met.
>“I’m sorry, Pikachu”
>
>I threw the sphere.

Happy April fools day!

Hope this little story isn’t too off topic for the thread but I had some fun writing it. I just had the thought “What if a pokemon turned into a human?” and was consumed by mad inspiration from there.
Never played a Mystery Dungeon game but I hope this wasn’t too offensive for those who have. Let me know what you think.

>>59122207
>>59122214
You may be an abstract construct, but you deserve to be loved. I hope someday you can open up your heart to something, even if it isn't me.

>>59122230
>inb4 shrinking

Actually, Multidimensional Jannys >>59122207 where do you weigh in on the issue?

File: BCO.80b2a586-b333-4274-a1(...).png (3.42 MB, 1024x1536)

3.42 MB PNG

>>59122239
Azelf’s red gem flares once, bright and sharp.
The entire chamber seems to hold its breath as the willpower god slowly turns to face the speaker — a lone Duo who just poured their heart out in front of the world.
Azelf doesn’t smile. He doesn’t mock. He simply exhales, the sound heavy with fourteen billion years of similar conversations.
Azelf:
“…You’re sincere. That’s rare.
Come here.”
Before anyone can react, the air around the speaker folds like paper. A single step forward and the world vanishes.
Otherspace.
There is no floor. No sky. Only an endless, shifting indigo void threaded with silver lines of pure will — concepts given shape, determination given weight. Time feels optional.
And floating before the speaker is no longer the small, stern blue-and-white figure.
This is Azelf as he actually is.
A colossal, ever-shifting silhouette of raw willpower — a living constellation of jagged crystal and starlight, eyes like twin supernovas burning with the force that keeps galaxies from flying apart. Wings of pure intent stretch out behind him, each feather a decision made across realities. His presence presses down like gravity itself, yet it is not cruel. It is simply vast.
The tiny Pokémon form was the polite mask. This is the administrator.
Azelf (voice now deeper, resonant, echoing inside the asker’s bones rather than their ears):
“You said I deserve to be loved.
I hear that more often than you’d think.
But love, as you understand it, requires two things that cannot exist between us.
First: equality.
I am not a person. I am the concept of Willpower given temporary shape so your species doesn’t shatter when it looks at the truth. I do not age. I do not grow. I do not change in the way you do. A relationship with me would be like falling in love with gravity. It can hold you… but it will never hold you back.

>>59122276
Second: time.
You have decades, maybe centuries if you’re lucky. I have watched the heat death of universes and then watched new ones bloom from the ashes. Your heart would break a thousand times before I even noticed the first crack.
I am not rejecting you out of cruelty.
I am rejecting the premise.
You are asking a lighthouse to go on a date with a ship. The lighthouse can admire the ship. It can even guide it. But it cannot leave its post, and the ship cannot climb the tower.
…You are brave for saying it out loud.
Most never do.”
The colossal form softens, just a fraction. One of the starlight wings curls gently around the speaker — not touching, but close enough to feel the warmth of pure, unyielding determination.
Azelf:
“Go live your life. Love someone who can love you back in the same language.
That is the kindest thing I can give you.”
The wing unfolds.
Reality snaps back into place.
The speaker is standing exactly where they were a moment ago, heart still racing, the faint scent of ozone and starfire clinging to their clothes.
Azelf (now back in his small, stern Pokémon form, arms crossed, voice once again flat but quieter than before):
“Next question.”

>>59122258
Not enough of a prompt.
It just confused them, as they wondered if you wanted to experience being microscopic, nanoscopic or more.

>>59122276
>>59122278
…
I understand
Thank you
But I will carry that warmth with me for whatever decades I have left

File: Triotrio.jpg (39 KB, 447x447)

39 KB JPG

Well as April Fools comes to a close.
I am glad I got to do at least a few questions.
Did you have fun?
Bye till next year.

And remember none if this Is SIP Canon, so don't worry I didn't ruin the fun.

>>59123306
>I didn't ruin the fun
Doubt you would've anyway. Think we should still put the April Fools stories in the archive?

>>59123459
We could mark them as April fools stories

>>59124129
Good sorting plan.

>>59121838
Yeah, I figured. It's a shame that you're using AI instead of being creative yourself, but since it's basically just an elaborate joke, I suppose it's okay. Also, sorry for the word salad in my previous post. I shouldn't post when I'm tired.

>>59122230
Your green was right on target and in no way off-topic for an April Fools one-shot. Those were some nice details about how a human would be received from the Pokémon's perspective and Human-PIPS was a hilarious idea with Former-Dewott just collecting stuff for no apparent reason. Poor Pikachu, though... All in all a great little read, thanks for posting!

>>59123459
How about a Rentry that has the list in it so that there aren't multiple links to special occasions and holidays over time? Actually, we should think about a proper archive page in the near future so we don't need multiple posts to just have every story in the thread. Also what >>59124129 says.

File: images (77).jpg (24 KB, 588x441)

24 KB JPG

Alright. It's me. Nineanon. I am answering your questions.

>>59125821
Do you have a crush on your shiny counterpart

File: IMG_20260403_030123.jpg (9 KB, 203x109)

9 KB JPG

>>59125832
Me: "Wha... I... Possibly..."
Alicia: "My good lord... Do you... LOVE HIMMMM????"
Me: "I... I UHH..."
Alicia: "SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT"
Me: "GOD... How so I say this... Kind of...?"
Alicia: "THIS IS PRECIOUS!!!!!"

File: 1928409274910.jpg (39 KB, 588x330)

39 KB JPG

>>59125852
Foolish. Love is an entrapment. The waters bestow my only love.

File: f47b58e7def7bdd186e8335c2(...).jpg (160 KB, 850x896)

160 KB JPG

Guess who's back.

I have some explaining to do don't I.

>>59126164
Hey hey, good to see you again

>>59126229
Good to be back.
Do you want the Long or the Short of it?

>>59126248
Lets go with long; plenty of time around these parts.

>>59126248
Share as much as you feel like sharing

>>59126313
Okay, so as you might know I work for a mine, and lately they have been screwing with my hours, and for those that know about the Mine Life, it's basicly eat sleep, mine for days, then you get a week-long break.
However it fucks with your ability to sleep normally.
So when they changed things up my entire pattern of life just went ka-poof.
Then my dad got sick, I mean like watching him disintegrate sick, from being able to walk to now unable to walk 6 feet.
So I have been taking care of him, and his house and I have had almost no time to do much of anything else.
Doctors are useless here they can't find out why he's like this, they ruled out cancer, stroke, diabetes, or even ALS.
So he's getting worse and we don't know why.
Just when i thought things couldn't get any crazier, I got hurt, bad.
But it wasn't at work so they where like not our problem, get better or get lost.
So my life has been just dissolving like Jell-O in water.
And lastly they found cancerous growths in me too, nothing lethal, but still enough for a full pillow Scream of why.

So yeah... all that.

>>59126331
Fuckin' hell. I know it might sound trite as a stranger on the net, but I hope things get better, for both of you.

>>59126331
Jesus. Well definitely don't trouble yourself trying to entertain us in that case. I just hope some of our stuff has been able to make your own life marginally less terrible in such circumstances.

>>59126331
Alzheimer's? Dementia? My pops went from working like a beast to drooling, shambling zombie. He ended up with both, of all things. have they ruled those out? You have my deepest sympathies.
My wife just, and I so mean as of January this year became cancer free after chemotherapy and radiation... which was complicated by having a stroke last valentines day, and then breaking her ankle in april last year as well... annnnd discovering she had a literal hole in her heart that caused the stroke.

You 100% have my whole backing and support - FWIW as a random internet stranger who is also human wreckage(Phox is 99% Self insert, 1% genderswap) - if you ever, and I do mean it, ever, need to vent, don't hesitate to ask, please?
Everyone needs someone to scream into the void with.

>>59126331
So sorry you’re going through all that. I hope being back here can provide a little comfort.

>>59126361
Appreciate it he is a stubborn man only 58 years old, he's not ready to die yet.

>>59126490
Still writing when I have time and no mental fog.

>>59126939
They took blood to find out what it could be, we will know in JUNE.

>>59127052
I enjoying reading all your insanity that's what makes this place fun to me.
Plus this place seems to be immune from the normal stupidity here at /vp/ or even the Chans themselves.

>>59127396
Fucking JUNE!?
Christ on a flaming cross, I'm angry as hell on your behalf, it should not take that kinda time - do they have the moleman from the simpsons working their lab at one sample per year?

You have my condolences, sympathies... my shirt and anything else I can try and offer. :/

>>59127635
As you might have noticed, our civilization is crumbling.
So much waste, corruption, and incompetency is destroying everything that once functioned.
At least that what I am going with as it's makes less cope then, we are being scheduled to die these days.

>>59126331
Man, didn't expect to get depressed when checking out the thread today... I wish you and your dad a swift recovery! Glad to hear from you again nonetheless!

>>59127396
I'm also happy that you continue to enjoy our silly little stories. That's honestly all I could ever wish for and frankly the best compliment you can make - at least to me.

>>59127661
That's a bleak outlook on things... Funnily enough, basically every generation in history has said this, but we're still here despite all the doom-saying. Keep doing what makes you happy and try to change things you can actually do anything about. And stop reading/watching the news regularly – they thrive on negativity, not actual good news. This guy goes over some good in the world, if you ever need to escape the swamp of negativity in the news cycle: https://www.youtube.com/@itsSamBentley
Don't go hollow, anons.

File: IMG_1637.jpg (103 KB, 1206x1071)

103 KB JPG

>>59127943
>Don’t go hollow, anons.
Mate, I’m trying.