>Vaporeon was NEVER compatible for breeding with humans at all! Firstly, they are not even in the Human-Like egg group, and most of them are male anyway. Since the 4chan post warped the facts about Vaporeon's biology, I will now clarify this matter. Hydration only works in the rain, and Water Absorb, which has a more dangerous ability that I'll elaborate more on soon, doesn't mean your Vaporeon will turn white after you pull out. I know this because I cleaned sperm bank toilets long ago. Their eel-like skin makes it impossible to grope them too. Also, what the 4chan post failed to mention is that Vaporeon can control water telepathically, meaning it can create Kyogre-like tsunamis at will, and, thanks to moves like Scald, Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, and Hyper Beam, Vaporeon has many more ways to unalive you. It can also learn Detect and Toxic too, so don't explore that "deep sea cave" for "treasure." Vaporeon can also force the very same water it can control to enter a person's orifice until they explode, as well as being able to enter any human orifice, just like the candiru fish, with it eventually reaching any vital organs in the human body and ensuring those organs rupture thanks to its water-based biology. This allows the Vaporeon to exit the newly created corpse easily. Now here is the ghastly truth about Water Absorb: since humans are 65% water, if a Vaporeon was inside a human body, it could absorb the water until the human was nothing more than a withered corpse. Oh, and here's a fun fact: if a Vaporeon rematerialized while it was inside your urethra, your wiener would instantly explode. As for the moves that Vaporeon can use to make itself horny, the thing is that the rest of Vaporeon's kin can learn those moves too, with Leafeon, Glaceon, and Umbreon (who has more results on Rule 34 and e621 than Vaporeon) having higher defense stats that would blow Vaporeon out of the water any day of the week. Acid Armor won't even change that.
>>59165153Ok VapWHOREon, that’s not gonna stop me from making you take this dick
>>59165153>unaliveas expected of a sexless numale redditor
>>59165153>meaning it can create Kyogre-like tsunamis at willOkayBut when has it done this?This blue brat needs rape correction
>>59165153>erm vaporeon could just le ice beam youokay but as its trainer i made it forget every move except baby doll eyes and now it's rapemeat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFbdqzRs2So
>>59165153>Vaporeon has many more ways to unalive you
>>59165169>>59165258>>59165272>>59165293Stuff like this is way I hope the humans in Pokopia stay gone.
>I know this because I cleaned sperm bank toilets long agoOP being OP as per usualSasuga faggot
>>59165330Doesn't Volbeat want to see your ass in that game?
>>59165153Humans are Field/Water 1 and can breed with Vaporeon but not with any Human-Like pokemon unless the secondary egg group is either, again, field or water 1.So basically you can mate and breed a Vaporeon but cannot mate and breed a Gardevoir. She is truly meant only for non Eros friendship
That's fine the plane is sexier anyways
>>59165413Sounds retarded. I'd rather believe humans are compatible with Human-like pokemon and no other groups.
>>59165404I haven’t seen that whole scene but isn’t that just because Volbeat communicate worth their tail lights and wants to see if ditto does the same or something?
>>59165413AQUATIC APE THEORY IS REAL
>>59165440Volbeat just wants to see a human ass. Motives not specified.
>>59165436Freakleak logic says its Field/Water1 since all the Pokémon in those the stories were ok those groups. No humanshape Pokémon appeared. Whether it’s because field/water 2 are more likely to contain expendable pokemon game freak doesn’t mind being ruined or that Game freak is so fucking stupid that they earnestly think that humans should be able to breed turn Pokémon but NOT with the group named Humanshape, take your pick
>>59165467I think it's most likely coincidence. Field makes sense because the average pokemon is Field egg group, especially anything that's an animal. Like, humans being Humanshape/Field is more likely than Humanshape alone, because humans are mammals, and like all the mammals are here. While Water 1 feels pretty coincidental. Octillery doesn't really FEEL like a Water 1, you know? Fish are mostly Water 2 for Remoraid, molluscs are mostly Water 3 for Octillery. Water 1 IS the most populated of the three, and would be the one I would assume humans to be in if humans HAD to pick a Water egg group, since all the sea mammals are there, but I doubt someone went "let's grab the Water 1 pokemon, Octillery, for this story", it's much more likely they did Octillery because X reason, and then it wound up coincidentally making an egg group for humans predictable. >>59165413Do remember, Gardevoir being Humanshape is a relatively recent change. Gardevoir spent most of Pokemon's life as Indeterminate alone.Which means I will not let go of the "Gardevoir is a shapeshifter that looks like a human, entirely to consume human emotional energy, and would look like something else if you weren't human" theory
>>59165467Then it would make more sense for all pokemon to be compatible, if we're taking legends as fact. Froslass also had stories about being with humans and then having kids.
>>59165286That video is retarded and fundamentally flawed in a very obvious way. He claims that because Vaporeon is theoretically only able to use Recover a few hundred times in a day that its stamina is not infinite and therefore incompatible with humans. Even though human beings can only cum like 20 times max in a day without risking death.
>>59165536So Gardevoir are basically Asari in your headcanon?
>>59165908>Even though human beings can only cum like 20 times maxWhen I was like 17, I set my personal best at 15 in a day. I physically couldn't get hard anymore, and it stopped being enjoyable for the last few times. Nowadays I can do maybe 6 in a day, and need at least an hour between unless it's my fukkin fetish.
>>59165153>The gastly truth about Water Absorb
>>59166010KindaMaybe more like a succubus, except more of a benign parasite. My headcannon is that the chest spike/red part is the "real" Gardevoir (and rest of the line), and all the rest is false material morphed into a particular shape. That shape COULD be anything. The line eats emotions, but more in a passive way than actively draining anyone, and has taken humanoid forms because humans are the predominant life form. Humans have very complicated and deep emotions to consume, and are relatively common. Ralts specifically looks like a human child for the dual purpose of inciting protective urges from humans, and from there the line refines its form to evoke particular emotions from the people around them.
>>59166049i dunno. i feel like you could stretch that for gardevoir and even kirlia, but it doesn't really work with ralts which is stated to be an elusive pokemon that doesn't often show itself around humans. if it was specifically mimicking a childlike shape to appeal to humans for sustenance why would it be so reclusive?
>>59165153>>59165330>t. Vapwhoren being salty that I destroyed his butthole.
Why is the coomer attention all for Vaporeon when Primarina exists?
Cease having inane groomer fantasies involving Pokemon instead go do something productive like going to church or taking a walk outside.
>>59167909Based Klearhos
>>59165153Meanwhile...>attract>charm>draining kiss>"Trainer has fainted">draining kiss>draining kiss>draining kiss>draining kiss>draining kiss
>>59168069dying to a Sylveon's gotta be one of the most humiliating deaths ever
>>59168069Stop projecting your inane fantasies on innocent Pokemon. You are only hurting yourself with these unhealthy fantasies.
>>59168104Would it feel less humiliating if it was a shiny Sylveon?
>>59165153this is a typedo level mental breakdown
>>59167876She is my fav since day one, just her original design is enough but I welcome the primammaries.Either way there is not enough Primarina.
>>59168069>>59168104>>59168531YESSSS! I want to be humiliated and made his bitch by Sylveon!!! I want him to make me wear a collar and then use attract, charm and draining kiss on me until I am a bloody mess!
>>59168129>>59167909>posted_it_again.exe
if you werent built for BHC then why do you have a perfectly lubed up dolphin pussy
>>59165286The video is wrong, the copypasta is wrong, Smeargle is objectively the best partner for humans. Sketch allows them to copy Ditto's Transform which lets them turn into any Pokemon, human, object, etc. Smeargle is also better than Ditto because it can learn more moves like Cosmic Power to raise its defense and Aqua Ring to auto restore health before transforming. The fourth move can be Baton Pass, which lets Smeargle transfer its buffs to another teammate. The pokedex also mentions that collectors will pay big money for Smeargle's art. In terms of benefits, no other pokemon comes close.
>>59165330>way instead of whyKill yourself, ESL.
>>59169686Look at that Smeargle, its already begging for cock
>>59165330Ok salty vaporeon, you say that as if you wont get obliterated the moment timetravel becomes accessible to humams
>>59166029How do you guys manage to cum more than once per day??
>>59170481>>59169686>>59169289>>59168907>59168776>59168535>59168069>59167876>59167868>59165435>59165413>59165293>59165272>59165258>59165169
>>59169686>The pokedex also mentions that collectors will pay big money for Smeargle's art.So on top of giving good sex, smeargle can also draw kino fetish art of whatever you want for free?? Damn
>>59170524What are the two pokemons hidden behind nurse joy's hair?
