>Ah, Hawaii. A lush tropical paradise, famous for many things: Magnum P.I., Hawaiian Eye, that TV show starring Jack Lord’s hair, and most importantly, the world’s largest population of gecko lizards. That’s right, geckos. And one family of geckos in particular had a very special problem... .>Deep in a valley on Maui lived a gecko family that was just trying to make ends meet. Mom had her paws full raising three and a half kids (their numbers were dependent upon their regenerative powers) while Dad was away doing research for NASA. GEX, the oldest offspring, was a bright lad who would spend his days with his friends, surfing, playing the ukulele and throwing poi parties down on the beach with the local lady lizards.>That all changed, though, the day his mother got a call from NASA telling her the tragic news. The rocket containing Dad and 10 other volunteers, chosen to see if they would eat tapioca pudding in zero gravity, had exploded on the launch pad due to a band-aid floating in one of the fuel tanks. The family’s carefree upper-middle-class life was shattered!>While the rest of the family dealt with their grief in the usual manner (crying, infighting and rummaging through Dad’s stuff), GEX bottled up his feelings. He took refuge in front of the only thing in the house that had always provided him with undemanding comfort: the TV.>GEX found out that in his time of need, all his old and sometimes forgotten friends were still there, ready to take his mind off his troubles. There was Kimba the white lion, eager to take him on an adventure through the African savannas. The Six Million Dollar Man would stop by with a quick bionic pick-me-up. The Partridge Family would play a song, and then shake their heads at the wacky antics of Mr. Reuben Kincaid. These were GEX’s true friends, and he was willing to spend the rest of his life in their groovy company.
>Try as she might, GEX’s mom could not pry her son away from the boob tube. So, after consulting with the family minister and the weird guy at work, she decided it was time for a change of scenery. They were going to leave Hawaii and start a new life . . . in California. One week later, a moving van pulled up in front of the family’s new ranch- style home in Encino, California, surrounded by white picket fences and white supremacists. As the moving men unloaded a crate containing GEX and his beloved TV, his mother exclaimed that she was excited about the family’s new beginning. GEX just laughed and told her that was exactly what Maude said to her husband after she went through menopause. GEX was still having trouble dealing with his father’s death, but Mom thought she knew just what to do.>That night, the doorbell rang, and a burly older lizard came in carrying a basket of treats. He said his name was Harv and he lived next door and wanted to welcome the new neighbors. As he passed out various chocolate-covered bugs to GEX’s siblings, Harv mentioned a little too loudly that he had one spot left on his Saturday All-Pro Girl Watching Team, and was wondering if there was someone around to fill it. GEX told him, from in front of the TV, that Jack Tripper was available, but only if he could get out of the two dates he had made for the same night.>Harv seemed a little confused. He whispered something to Mom, and then took a seat next to the tuned-out gecko. Then Harv asked GEX straight out if he would like to take that spot on the team. GEX replied that he’d love to, but had promised Bosley that he would watch the Angels for him all week. Harv chuckled, and suggested that maybe GEX was watching a little too much TV, and needed to get outside. Without taking his eyes off the set, GEX explained that the last time he had gone outside, his dad blew up, surrounded by gallons of burning tapioca.
>Completely out of ideas, Harv bid Mom an exasperated farewell and left. Now what was a concerned mother to do?>The next morning, GEX came running downstairs, expecting to have breakfast with the Banana Splits as usual, when he froze in his tracks. The TV was gone! This must be some kind of joke! Was it out for repairs? Did someone break in and steal it? C’mon, man, this isn’t funny! The room began to spin... GEX needed a TV fix . . . the little suction cups on his hands were beginning to twitch... WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON?>Just then, his mother came in the room. “If you’re looking for the TV, I gave it away to some gypsies early this morning,” she said. She told him that enough was enough, and he needed to start doing things like a normal gecko. “Go catch some flies, practice walking up walls, enter a tongue-lashing contest. But for cripes sake, stop watching TV!”>GEX couldn’t believe this. The one thing in his life that had meaning was gone, and his mother was behind it. Exploding with rage, GEX announced that he was never setting foot inside this TV-less house again, and stormed out the front door. Mom ran after him, begging him to stay, but it was too late. She had done the unthinkable, and this was the result.>The next few months were a blur. GEX hooked up with some local punks and spent his days skateboarding to the mall, hanging out in comic stores and blaring music through his Walkman™ on a cliff overlooking the city. He slept in a friend’s garage and made pocket money “doing errands” for frustrated housewives. His entire existence became one longa, aimless haze, with none of his TV friends around to help out. This seemed to be how he would spend the rest of his life. Or was it... .
>One day, as he was skateboarding along talking to his invisible buddy, “The Mayor” (life on the streets does things to a gecko), a long black limo pulled up. GEX was about to have His Honor go insult the driver, when the rear window rolled down, and he saw his mother!>Mom told GEX she was so glad to have finally found him, because she had fantastic news! Three days after he had left, GEX’s great uncle Charlie had kicked the bucket and left his entire estate to the family. The amazing part was that, unbeknownst to the family, Uncle Charlie was the original model for the Izod™ shirt logo. He had invested his meager modeling salary back into company stock. At the time of his passing into the great beyond, Uncle Charlie’s estimated worth was over 20 billion dollars! The family was rich!>Shocked out of his mind, GEX jumped up in the air, told The Mayor he had just been impeached, and hopped into Mom’s limo. The hard times were over. He was going to start living life right!>For the next few weeks, the entire family went on a mad spending spree, buying houses, cars, local judges and politicians. Mom purchased 51 percent ownership in NASA, and then fired everybody, sold the rockets to some third world countries, and converted Mission Control into a theme restaurant featuring robotic dancing chimps wearing space suits.>GEX’s siblings said they had always wanted to see Australia, so they bought it. GEX, on the other hand, was not into all the cars, jewels and other extravagances. He took his share of the fortune, tucked it into his pants pocket, and went for a walk. He walked and walked and walked, wondering what to do with his share. Then it hit him. He would use the cash to fulfill a longtime dream!
>Exactly one hour later, GEX called his mother down at her restaurant, “Space Monkeys,” and told her good-bye. He was going back to Hawaii. He was going to buy the biggest house on Maui, fill it with the world’s largest TV set and enough food for decades, and then seal himself inside. He was going to spend the rest of his life watching all his old TV friends getting into outrageous situations or amazing adventures.>Mom wished him the best of luck, and then ran off to rewire some faulty chimps. GEX hung up the phone, and headed out to build his dream... .>In a few days, GEX was parked in front of his TV, munching from a nearby bowl of flies. He was in the middle of flipping through channels to see what was on. “Nope, nope, nope,” he droned, as he clicked the remote again and again, surfing through reruns of Kung Fu theater, a wacky cartoon and an old Indiana Jones movie. Those shows were so boring. He’d already seen all of them at least a million times. He was ready for something different.>Frustrated, GEX started clicking all the remote’s buttons rapid-tire, speeding through the channels in a super-fast blur. While he was clicking and kicking back, a fly buzzed by. GEX flicked out his tongue and — gulp! — down it went. But the fly was in reality a metallic transmitter. GEX was “bugged.”>Suddenly, GEX’s remote jammed and the TV blanked. A huge hand shot out of the screen, grabbed GEX by the neck and... Just like that, GEX had been yanked through his TV into the Media Dimension. The cold claw belonged to Rez, who had hooked GEX with a bugged fly.>Rez was the lord of the Media Dimension. He now intended to make GEX the new network mascot. “Out with the peacock, in with the gecko!”
>GEX could only escape by getting his paws on the remote controls hidden throughout the Media Dimension. Once he had the remotes, he could destroy the TV sets that blocked the exits and were the portals into the next worlds. GEX had to find the last remote, blow up the last TV in the last world and make it home . . . or spend the rest of his gecko life as a bronzed network mascot!
I'd rather read a Master System thread. An MK thread died for this.
Today Gex would have to escape influencer landscape riddled with vtubers and propaganda
>>12188456>white picket fences and white supremacistsKek, you'd never be able to put that in an E-rated manual nowadays.
