How are you?
>>1557737on a 10 scale, I'd say 5
>>1557740I hope the rest of your day gets better fren
>>1557737I'm not good.
>>1557744I'm sorry to hear that, so what's the matter fren?
>>1557737Think I'm doing well. But how are you, friend?
>>1557746That's nice. I am empty I think, I just feel a gaping void where my emotions and sense of enjoyment should be. But thanks for asking fren, you're the only one that has. :D
>>1557748Why, can you tell us a bit more about yourself and maybe your situation?
>>1557756Well the thing is that I don't know why, if I did I would have solved it by now. It's difficult for me to ascertain a reason or reasons for why I feel this way. Perhaps it was my upbringing, I have an emotionally distant mother and an abusive father, in regard to my father I don't see him much, the very sight of him makes me physically sick. As for my mother, she just mostly ignores me, but that's nothing new. I live with my parents, I have no friends IRL and I live in a secluded town away out in the country.
>>1557737Worried. I have been talking to this girl who I have really liked for the past few months, but now she is quite ill. I am worried since it has been a week of illness. I wish I was there to take care of her, but we are not at that stage yet. We have not gone out, though we agreed to at some point (was originally going to be around now, but as the saying goes, man plans, God laughs).P.S: Watch Zipang
>>1557759I hope everything works out well, you seem like a kind, caring person.
>>1557757I get the feeling. Those are quite a few things. How do you spend your day?
>>1557743yeah...maybee thanks I guess
>>1557766messaging my online friends, playing video games with them, sharing music, etc. And when they're not online I would maybe go out on a walk around a ruined stone tower deep in the forest, or just to the general store, which is really the only store. If I can't then I read novels or lie down and do nothing which can be difficult sometimes because I feel as though I should be doing something, but there's nothing to do. Other days I play guitar, that's about it. I don't find what I engage in to be enjoyable, but I do it nevertheless. How about you?
>>1557770I guess nothing too fancy myself. But I do try and enjoy them while doing what seems important. I play myself the guitar every now and then, also.I take it that maybe you neither work nor study? Did something happen?
>>1557773I used to go to college but then because I was severely bullied I quit after I was beaten so bad that my stomach ruptured. Since then I have a fear of such places because of that incident. As for work, I do freelance jobs, a bit of writing or coding usually.
>>1557775Sorry to hear about the college thing.You didn't include either of the two activities in your day, though.
>>1557737Compared to my average, not too bad. Said average though has not been great for the last few years - no energy, no motivation, mediocre non-restorative sleep, tired all day for no reason, significant anhedonia. Just not enjoying life at all, outside of maybe eating food. I'm surprised that I'm managing to keep my job, but I guess my past performances guaranteed my job security for the foreseeable future.But today I've at least managed to read another event story in Blue Archive, I only have four more events and one more main story volume to read, and I'll be all caught up with the JP server. I want to read more or at least watch anime again, let alone do anything productive (which is mostly fan translation or e.g. trying to learn a creative skill), but my brain unilaterally decides that it requires more energy than I have for even passive content consumption, and that the very low amount of reward dopamine is not worth the energy spent. I've tried SSRIs and various sleep pills of course, and I begrudgingly do walks and exercises, no use.Overall, though, not much to complain about, just chilling.
>>1557764Thank you, it has been another not having spoken to her. I could not sleep last night because of it. I pray for her health each night, but each night I get a bit more worried. I know it is only the flu, but I just think about what happens whenever I get ill (it usually winds up in an urgent care visit or a hospital stay).I guess it is comforting to know that her immune health is normal and better than mine by default.I wish not to fully dox myself, but she is my only true friend, before that there was no one that I could just speak to honestly like her for several years. Unfortunately that man (strictly speaking a friend, I am not gay or anything kek) is no longer around. I just hope that, despite all of my failings in life that he is proud of who I am now, even if I have little to show for. There is still a long road ahead of me, and it might take a lifetime to truly get what I want, but I hope to reach it and die happy when my time comes.All I want for is to not be completely alone again and have no friends or anyone to talk to in life. Three years was too long. I used to get excited when I had received a message, when it was only the telephone company or an emergency alert test.Tell me, do you have a best friend? what about a girlfriend?
>>1557757>>1557775These sound like good suggestions for knowing too little.I know that sometimes things can feel really empty, as though it all had no sense, and somehow, people just failed to see it. But there is more than that. There really is. And hope you get to enjoy it too.If something, remember that you matter.God bless
We can't go back to the beginning and modify it. But we can start now and change how it ends.Our mistakes and those of others don't need to define us.
>>1557737I've fallen so hard for my co-worker and it's obvious she doesn't feel the same way. I'm trying to get over her but I can't because I have to see her every day at work. shit hurtsHow are you?
>>1557737Kind of meh, I'm almost done with my novel and I don't know what's next for me after that. It's been the only thing keeping me here for a few years now
>>1557737Extraordinarily high to the point I'm seeing double, bidding on coins that cost too much, and listening to Cocteau Twins. Osaka is so cute bro
My brother killed himself three weeks ago, feels bad man. Trying my best to stay sober, get out of bed early and eat something every day. Angry. Sad. Exhausted.I try my best, thanks for asking.
>>1557737I'm tired, boss.
>>1557917If she doesn't have a boyfriend, nothing is set in stone.Things change, people change.She may change, you can change too.But see also, that however troubling the situation, it does nothing to neither her or your worth. People are more valuable than small things like conflicts or differences in interests, including you.Heartfelt feelingsGodspeed
I've come to terms that I'm going to die alone.
>>1557933Really sorry to hear so.How old was him? Was he younger or older?
>>1557737Not great.Wife kicked me out of our apartment a few days ago and I had to move back to my parents' place. Also going through a lot of work-related stress right now.Motivated to fix things, though. Wife and I are on tentative speaking terms again and there might still be a future for us. She made the whole thing public though, so I'm also dealing with the fallout among our shared friend group.I fucked up but still don't think the aftermath was proportional.But hey, things get better from what I hear.
>>155806633. Three weeks older. Just talked to my mom on the phone, she is messed up obviously but just got some new medication for her anxiety.Maybe life will go on. Day 10 sober now.
>>1558091Three years older* shit.I'll go take a nap. Hope you are doing well.
>>1558091While life goes on, that will never be as though his life and departure never happened. Right?As every moment shared with those we love, becomes part of who we are. Mistakes, an opportunity to continue their growth. And in that, they're still with us.But take this with as much salt as proper
>>1558039Thank you so much
>>1558053How did you come to that?
>>15577375 out of 10.i'm a sad low iq retard filled with anxiety and bitterness
>>1557737wishing i had a ton of money and could quit my job and move cities, that's pretty much it
>>1557917Been there, done that. It sucks. I liked her a lot and we used to talk a lot. The moment she realized that I was interested in her, shit just hit the fan. What I can say to you, If you know you’ve got no chance, just move on. depending on where you are in the pecking order, is that it’s better to move away from this situation. Feelings come and go. You’re only hurting yourself, This is a really shitty spot to be in right now. Play it cool and use this time to improve in an area of your life where you’re lacking.
My mom died to cancer around 2years ago, everything went downhill from there.While I'm kinda over it, it shattered my whole world and I'm not the same person as before.I'm a broken man ever since, and never had a the time to take a breath as work related stress kept fucking non stop.And the whole fucked economy and war shit is dragging me down too.
>>1558789Thanks man
>>1557737Honestly not great, two of my dogs passed away a few months ago (they were almost 18, gave them the best life I could) and I still can't deal with it, still walk around the house waiting for them to show up but they no longer do. Had a dream recently where one of them was floating around me and I held her as she flew away, I like to think they're in a better place
>>1557737Not great but getting better. I can't find a job, I'm running out of money. Edging alcoholism, but at least that's improving - I started running recently, and the slightly increased motivation that's given me is a decent substitute for alcohol.
>>1558799I'm sorry anon, I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly 2 years ago too. Been fighting a nasty weed addiction ever since that's cost me a job, hobbies, and friendships but getting high is just too nice. also WEW with modern edibles/vapes that shit is absolutely addicting, I've tried and failed to quit dozens of times since she died. Currently unemployed but got 3 months of NEETbux left. Right now trying to distract myself from getting high by visiting every board on 4chan. After /wsr/, I just have /x/ and /xs/ left. It's been interesting seeing the culture of every different board, some are all shitposts while others have still have good discussion. I've found a few gems in boards I normally don't browse, including this thread here. I hope you all have better days ahead anons. I'll probably relapse yet again and get stoned later today.
I'm doing well, actually. I mean, I don't have a car right now, but I'm saving up as best I can and I'm honestly not too too stressed about it. Other than that I have a stable job that's not very hard, and I have two enby partners and a boyfriend and several local friends.
