>>40973522
For reference, my ex gf had an abortion about 15 years ago, which I told her was a good idea, which I feel like may have triggered this cascade of unfortunate events. Everything has gone from bad to worse since then, in increasingly improbable ways. I've tried praying, Jesus, everything, I think I'm being driven to suicide, and it's all cause of what I did. I don't feel sorry for myself. Just want to know if that's why.

>>40973522
Its clearly a demon trying to make you feel guilty. Clearly you're not that same person and the Lord preaches forgiveness. It is the demons that will constantly whisper nasty things in your ear to make you feel guilty over things in the past despite seeking to change for the better. He earned the title "the great accuser" for a reason.

>>40973522
Hmm, never mind. I misunderstood at the end. It's very well possible God is calling you towards repentance. You have no idea what damage you've caused that woman by convincing her to do something she may have not wanted. Look OP, whoever is behind you feeling this way is something personal. If it's God, you can't do anything about it. But understand one thing, the feelings aren't to get you to kill yourself, but to let you know you fucked up.

>>40973581
I didn't force anything. But we agreed on it. But basically abortion = hell?

>>40973699
>"I didn't force anything"
>t. Lucifer, on the Human invention of Evil

>>40973699
Abortion doesn't equate to hell. It's not that simple. Do you truly feel regret? Or is it these sensations making you think you need to feel regret?

>>40973542
And yes, Anon, that's likely why. But you mustn't listen to the impulses and off yourself. You really want to make it up to Creation? You have to live and led a life that atones for the transgressions of your selfish past one, that's the only way to really make it up.

May God's mercy be with you, Anon - you're going to need it. Live on and atone.

>>40973522
>Would God actively urge me to kill myself using other humans as vessels
Only for funsies.

>>40973522
This whole world is scripted by the Illuminati. They put me in a GTA game. I'm Avon Hertz. Incidentally it has the same Gematria value as Elvis Presley.
The Illuminati uses Gematria to communicate their ciphers and secret codes. When used properly, you can find a great deal about your own life and what they planned for you. Including trade secrets, future events that they planned, and occult knowledge.

>>40973522
I think any god worth minding would at least have the decency to say it to your face himself.

>>40973855
Oh yeah and billions of people are just going along with it and even participating in Illuminati humiliation rituals against TIs. They are the ones telling you "just stop being a bitch, bro hurr durr".
I will tell you a few of their codes.
>Phoenix
>The storm
>Lightning
>Time machine
So they planned everything thousands of years ago probably. They are primadonna fags that just sit around all day long conspiring like the insect retards they are and they think they're God.
They're on the other side are plotting to rape and torture people and ruin their lives or whatever.
This whole life is meaningless. And the majority of people have proven to be unworthy, cowardly, traitorous pieces of shit that would sell their souls in a heartbeat and betray an honest man just for the power.

>>40973522
>Would God actively urge me to kill myself using other humans as vessels,
No

>>40973522
I don't believe God wants you to kill yourself, OP - the Lord God almighty is a God of life - He is the living God - and offers anybody willing to accept it, eternal life through Christ Jesus. It is satan that instils thoughts of death and destruction, but you have power to reject satan and accept Jesus, in scripture:
As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” Romans 10:11

You seem to be underestimating, as we as humans can only ever do, the power of God; His power to work in you, His power to teach you, His power to forgive. He wants a relationship based on love, trust, hope and faith with you; and when you ask for forgiveness of your sin, and truly repent, it is given - it is His power to love. Please talk to Him OP, open your heart fully to Him, in meekness, and ask Him to work in it.

Lastly, do not equate any weakness with failure, you can be weak, but God will never let you fail - again, do not underestimate the total and complete power of God almighty, in whom ALL - and I mean ALL - things are possible! The Lord's power is made perfect in weakness!

2 Corinthians 12:9
>But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbJIyzfkZlU

>>40973522
You are definitely actively miainterpreting whatever God is telling you