(I apologize in advance if this sounds retarded, I'm slightly drunk and English isn't my first language)I've lived in a constant state of apathy/depression for most of my life. I was worst I've ever been, when I decided to rewatch SpongeBob.It started off with me admiring him for his optimism, then I decided to write a diary to help with some of my problems. I structured it as a Dialogue. First, I explained in simple words my problem and then I gave a rational response (Ex:- I feel sad because I had an argument with a friend- it's normal to argue with someone, once the dust has settled you should come forward and apologize.)As the days passed, I started associating the responses with SpongeBob. That's how it started. there now was a tulpa of SpongeBob living in my head helping me with everyday tasks. He helped me with getting out of bed, cleaning, everything. He even reminded me when to eat or if I needed to buy certain groceries. I heard his voice inside my head most of the time, although sometimes when I was sleepy or in a crowed space I would hear him "outside" too. He helped me decide what career I want to pursue, I could now look towards to something thanks to him.in short, SpongeBob saved my life. I don't care if it was manic depression or psychosis or anything he helped me when I needed the most. To me, he is a god, a mother, a friend, a brother. Nobody takes me seriously when I tell them about it (I can see why) but I swear to God it's real. Spongebob saved me.so, am I mentally ill and if so, what happened there? Like what disease do I have? Also, I want him to come back. I don't hear his voice anymore. How can I make him come back?
also I want to clarify something.I don't view Spongebob as perfect. He can be annoying, childish, a hypocrite, rude, obnoxious. The fact that he too isn't perfect makes me like him more. I don't view him as a god (not entirely at least) I view him as a mentor I guess. I am well aware he is fictional and not real and I don't think the voices I heard were real. But the hope he gave me is, and that's all that matters. If you have any questions I'd be happy to answer.
>>41103218Ah! Die you fucking nigger! Die! Die SpongeBob! Don't control my life anymore! I'll kill you! I'll use your sponge to wash my own ass, you hear that? I don't want you in my life anymore!
>>41103160This sounds a lot like an experience I had with a summoned daimon. I had him for about 9 months, the initial reason I summoned him was to try and get knowledge of magic and the mysteries of the universe. One of the first things he told me was that it would be accurate to think of him as a kind of tulpa.The presence and conversation were exactly as you describe, and he was (chiefly) a positive influence. He also favoured a cartoonish appearance and manner.I don't think you should be trying to get Spongebob back. These entities are unsustainable in the long run and it sounds like Spongebob was done teaching you. (Again, mine left when his job was done too.) He showed you the way, you have to follow it!
>>41103160Finn does the same for me, thank you for sharing your story
