Many of y'all claim to be Christians, yet, if you actually go to Church you hear the hottest old lady drama. You must post old lady church drama or else I don't believe you actually stepped foot in a church.Let me start:> Every week Gertrude makes her special Chocolate Walnut Chocolate Chip cookies>all the parishioners love her cookies> One fine Sunday, another old lady, Blanche, asks if she can get Gertrude's recipe, she wants to try it herself> Gertrude, a fine Christian woman obviously lets Blanche have a try at the recipe> Blanche inspects the recipe, and sees one oddity, this whole time Gertrude was using Hershey's chocolate kisses for chocolate in her cookies instead of the correct baker's semi-sweet chocolate!?> Blanche substitutes Hershey's for semisweet, brings it to church, everyone loves it, says it tastes soo much better now> Blanche now makes the cookies every Sunday > Blanche and Gertrude stop talking, but one day after church it rains and they sit outside for a tad> Gertrude: "Blanche, I see everyone likes those cookies now that you make them like that, well, everyone except me... but did you ever consider that I made those cookies that way because I liked them that way, it was MY recipe."
>>41231811We are the church, the third temple, and Israel itself. God does not dwell in things made with human hands, and the physical state of Israel is false and flies a flag with an occult symbol representing completion of the Great Work (NWO). Your McReligion is false.
>>41231811MATILDA BRINGS DEMONS. RID HER FROM THIS PLANE
>>41231811Gertrude is a dumb bitch because it's still her recipe with the hershey kisses and she gave up authority of how others may alter the recipe after it left her sole possession.
>>41231859That was the opinion of Blanche, any good cook knows to use semisweet.
All I hear the old ladies talk about at church is who died recently and how those dead people have children/relatives that nobody knew about and the church ladies are like: >"You don't say! I never George had a third wife. She must have been from Florida. My nephew lives in Florida and he says it's nice there this time of year."
>>41231892Old ladies are the bedrock of Christendom. It's also why Christianity keeps taking L's.
>>41231811>they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should notnot a good church
guilt trippin be what they do
40ish year old lady. She is cute, sweet, giving, probably the kindest person you'd ever meet. She is the Sunday school youth leader. This same woman is also part of a swinger fetish group and gets railed in gangbangs and peed on and ropes and everything you can imagine. She has a "master" online who gives her instructions and she takes photos/videos following them. Her ex-husband is psychotic and she is afraid of being killed by him, even though they are divorced and he lives far away. While they were married, she was basically threatened and forced into marriage and birth. He would not let her work or leave the house, and banned the children from "satanic" things like Harry Potter and basically couldn't partake in any modern media - the family was extremely sheltered. Meanwhile the husband is cheating and on drugs all the time. When I met them, it was still pretty fresh out of divorce. It was incredible how little they understood about pop culture or even normal human interaction. There's more to tell but you can probably infer plenty.I think she's closer to 50+ now, this was 10 years ago.
>>41231811Real story but I'll greentext as her>be me>be old>not ready to die>but closer to the lord as the church organ lady>doubt god still with me.jpg>"newfags want their sing group to replace me">the main yougnster have broccoli hair>i thought they hate that shit>acoustic-christian billie eilish is the soundtrack of my demise>psalm 22:1>three months later >group dissolves before christmas>turns out they were carring a lot of drama>pregnancy>neighbor fights>of course the only one that could sing was gay>broccoli boy was outed of having nudes of one of the girl>she was a minor>"say... could you play the next week?...">since that day i'm convinced i'm the last blessed human>i'll pray for the rest of you>i'm ready to die
