She has been drifting into my dreams for a few weeks now. I keep meeting her in a garden that smells of old stone and white tea. There is a lake, still as silver, that reflects the full moon (it is always a full moon) and the vague familiar clank, clank of a shishi-odishi somewhere in the garden. She comes always in a kimono, sometimes gilded, sometimes silvery, the pattern is never quite the same. The silk is folded around her slimness like a secret. She looks no older than twelve or thirteen, yet in her bearing I sense a wisdom beyond age. I never see her face; when I lean forward the shadows are always polite and the light looks away, and I catch only a fall of dark hair and the edge of a cheek. But I carry the strange certainty that she is beautiful in a way the world is not.
>>41236010Continuing because the original body wa too longHer voice comes from some corner of my mind, as light from a lantern slips through a screen. It whispers by the ear, thin fingers pressed against my shoulder, naming nothing and giving much. I am unable to recall our conversations, only imagery comes up when I try. A weather of phrases, a scent of rain on tatami, a single singsong syllable that fades before I can catch its shape.We meet on a bench of stone or on a moonlit path; sometimes she lingers near the pond calling the starry koi by name. I wake up with an overwhelming sense of grief. What is this world to me but exile? Let me sit there with her always, beneath tree and lantern, until my breath and hers are the same wind across the pond. In saecula, in saecula, in saecula.I want to know her better, to learn if she is a kami, or a dream-guest, or some place-spirit that remembers a village that no longer exists. But I am wary, I know that when you learn some names, you are drawn into a different sort of relationship with the named creature. Though I wouldn’t mind being bound to her. It is very strange, as though I am bewitched but not all the same. The above was written almost a month ago. Since then, I have not seen her since and I have been thoroughly heartbroken. Any help will be appreciated.I should also note, since it may be essential to the investigation, that I am a [spoiler]pedophile[/spoiler], against my will as it were. That said, her beauty to me was not of the sexual kind.I am woefully new to /x/, so please let me know if I created this thread in error and could have sought my answers elsewhere. Thank you.
>>41236010>>41236016What are her symbols?>spoilerDoes she bring this up?
>>41236039>her symbols?I do not quite understand what you mean, but I do vividly recall her kimono having patterning after the sun, the moon and th stars>Does she bring this up?Yes, upon waking I fail to recall what exactly she said. What I can say with some certainty is that she spoke in a quite mocking yet warm tone about it, sort of like a benign magnanimity mixed in with ‘you’ll be fine, all will be fine’. I apologize if I am being vague, I will check my diary to see if there were any more details I’d missed
>>41236054What objects does she associate herself with? You mention silver and the moon, but there could be more.
>>41236010Just a little advice I've heard from several shaman in Japan:>When kami come calling, act like no one is at home.
>>41237256Tea leaves, sometimes sake, rain, and the stars.>>41238401Thank you anon. Does this mean playing hard to get in a sense (駆け引き)?
>>41238904It has nothing to do with a relationship. The moment you let a kami in, they take control and use you to achieve their ends, whatever they may be. For the shamans I spoke of, they are loaned the kami's powers so they can serve as channels of communication between the living and dead, do purification, banishing and healing rituals, and a lot of other stuff I'm not privy to.It may sound cool, but once a shaman nears the end of their life, the kami inevitably leaves them. Then the true horror of their situation dawns on them.
