Hello, on this day I am a young man, in my house I was raised without a church, without a book, without a God, and I have suffered for it. As I reached adolescence I felt drawn to God, perhaps I finally grew uncomfortable with the lack of purpose and meaning in the world as I understood the cruelty and degeneration that lay nascent within. Either which way or reason, I was drawn to God, despite all goodly atheist logic and reasoning within me, and believed myself a faithful person, despite my persistent lack of a godly lifestyle. I believe I hinged my faith entirely upon how I felt that day about God, whether I felt the feeling I associated with prayer or not normally, whether I was good, whether I believed in my heart that God exists. I would get a feeling whenever I prayed in my head, a sort of contained pressure, if anyone here can relate or understand. Then I took a trip up to a quiet, secluded part of nature, of untouched beauty and a primeval feeling all around. I watched a sunrise on a mountain there and bore witness to strange blue lights, like the outline of some ephemeral spirit, which rapidly appeared and disappeared. From then on, that feeling when I prayed disappeared, prayer felt like a chore, an empty thing, just like talking to myself. That experience destroyed any faith or feeling of God within my heart, and crashing down upon me was the memory of the shameful, apathetic, and awful things I had done said and thought. I felt molded anew, raw and unprecedented. I felt a sort of liberation from God, and molded my life into what I wanted it to be, working out, stopping my porn addiction, becoming more outgoing etc, etc. Recently though I've been receiving signs and whispers, strange and unintentional coincidences that would seem the works of the holy spirit. I feel a call back to God but I feel this remaining need to question, as I cannot have blind faith, nor can I have the proof that would give me solace. I am terrified that God simply isn't.
I am shockingly in a very similar position. I currently have no church but I feel very religiously reawakened and want to know God more intimately. I would start by prayer. Prayers for things that are not material. Like finding peace, direction, closer relations and love and humility toward other people like your family and co-workers etc. Really start to discover that God does, when we ask genuinely and with repentance, answer our prayer.Then begin to study the Bible. Study study study as I am doing. And then go into the theology of the Early Church and from that point rationally decide "I am going to be a ______" church. I am not at that stage. I will pray for you. God love you and protect you.
Truth is effortlessTruth is self-apparentTruth is not indoctrinatedTruth does not require threats and coercion
>>41359731Thank you friend, I pray each night before I drift off to sleep, I make it a habit to thank God for the blessings I have and ask for strength in the future. While I feel something each time, I cannot seem to convince myself it is his presence rather than placebo. I find myself not questioning the validity of Christian teachings and value, but the fact that God may not exist at all, and that all the signs, the pull to Him, that all of It is just sad and unfortunate coincidence.>>41359735aye, I see this in the dogmas of the Church and the Atheist cult. I am drawn to a God that understands the hearts of good Men and Women, but question his validity and existence.
Bumping because I need answers
A couple paths; first regarding paths back to God. The Universe is made of "thinking stuff". Water carves channels. Electricity flows like water. Neural nets create pathways that strengthen with use. All life seeks growth. Intelligence is path finding. The connection built into you and to which you build guides back in time and to the Creator. A second path:The ancients knew. Follow the thread through classical writings. Plato's Laws discusses the source of laws given to King Minos from his father Zeus. Herodetos called Menes, the first pharoh of Egypt Min. L.A. Waddell in his book Egyptian Civilizataion, it's Sumerian Origin claims that Menes/Minos was the same person, a prince from Sumeria, where Abraham was from (about the same time period also 2700 - 2800 BC). Also another book to show the connection in ancient religions is called Ancient Fragments by Isaac Preston Cory. Here is a quote "Mr. Faber, in his admirable work on the “Pagan Idolatry, has collected and separately examined all the different systems of the Heathen Mythology; and has shown, ‘that there is such a singular, minute, and regular accordance among them, not only in what ‘is obvious and natural, but also in what is arbitrary and circumstantial, both in fanciful speculations and in artificial observances, as to render untenable every other hypothesis than this ‘that they all have originated from some common source.’ "
>>41359709Looks like you're basing your faith off of signs and wonders. But why is that? Animals can feel and see, but they can't reason. Or perhaps you think you're so special that if you convert God is gonna change everything in your life in a day and there'll be no more tears or suffering. You just don't understand God or how he works or effectively how anything works. Wisdom 2 or the book of Job are good examples of how he works in incomprehensible manners, because he confuses the wisdom of men. Because of that I will try to help you, ask me anything and in the the best of my capabilities I will answer. I, however can't guarantee you will like or even accept them. Because it's scandal to the jews and madness to the greeks.
>>41359709Christ is king. I'm happy to answer anything you might have a question for, the questions ive read so far i will answer the best i can. Faith is something that will change on the daily, based upon experiences. God is everything, he created you, the ground you walk on and the air you breathe. We as men and women make it more complicated than it needs to be.
>>41359731You speak of churches so I will assume that you pretend to be Christian >Like finding peaceJesus came to bring a sword, not peace >directionHe who finds his life will lose it, the sense of direction which you seek is a desire that will lead to destruction.>Like finding peace, direction, closer relations and love and humility toward other people like your family and co-workersHe who loves the world doesn't have the love of the Father in him. You must hate your family if you want to follow Christ.All in all, it seems to me that you don't stand firm in the Word of God.To have faith means to trust him and to do the things which he commands you to do, despite your lack of deeper understanding when it comes to these commandments.Once you saw the blue sky and some trees this instantly this shook your faith, if your faith is that easily breakable then it's not built on solid foundations.
>>41360839>Jesus came to bring a sword, not peace Jesus is referring to the violence and the disorder in society that will increase after his sacrifice and resurrection. He does not intend for us to hate others.>He who finds his life will lose it, the sense of direction which you seek is a desire that will lead to destruction.Understanding what God demands from this life is not a worldly desire. For I do not want to "find" a life, simply to be content with my understanding of Gods way. To live simpler and be simpler.>You must hate your family if you want to follow Christ.You must love Jesus more than your family, not hate your family.
>>41361627every single one of your objections is adressed in a single paragraph>Matthew 1034 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and xfollow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.>b-but he says that you cant love them more than him, not that you must hate them!!!!wrong>Luke 14:26“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.its spelled out that you must hate them.Matthew and luke complete each other and you are meant to look them as a whole to love Jesus more than your parents means that you must hate your parents>For I do not want to "find" a lifeyes you do, otherwise you wouldnt want to love your family and to make peace with themif you had Jesus and followed his intructions, you will view your family as active enemies. Instead you seek to bring stability to your personal life and to your relationship with them, contrary to bible's teachingsi stated it and i will state it againthere is a reason why you have no faith, your faith is simply dead because you dont follow up the instructions of Christthere is no really a point to argue with me about your wrong interpretation of the bible since you clearly lack faith. ( assuming you are OP )
>>41359709What's the point of this post anyway? You base your faith on feelings or what? There's heaps of physical evidence that the bible is 100% facts if you go this way you will know that God is true, if you talk to God and let Him reveal Himself to you that would happen as well undoubtedly.God does not want a single soul to perish in unbelief. Is anything too hard for God?
>>41361713>demeaning rhetoricI forgive you.Turn to the same book, Matthew 15:3-7, the commandment to honour your parents is still strong, the scribes did not abide by it with the same reality as you are doing.>>Luke 14:26You forget the context of the parable. The "hate" comes from the cost of being a follower of Christ. If your family does not accept Christ, of course you will experience difficulty and backbiting by trying to love them and honour them with Jesus' teaching.
>>41361731>I forgive you.you forgive me for trying to save a lost person? you are going to hell if you dont repent.>James 2In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is deadThe desired action in question is to pick up the cross of Christ and to follow his example. You do that by hating your family and turning against them.>you will experience difficulty and backbiting by trying to love themnopeit says that you must hate your parents if you want to be able to follow Christ.Their reaction to your conversion is irrelevant because you are meant to love your enemies regardless if they are family or not. But your outlook towards them must be that of utter contempt, but not only towards them but also towards yourself.But since you are trying so hard to die on this hill, i can clearly tell that you have a worldly attachment which takes priority over ChristYou either hate them, or you give up on Christ. There is no middleground, since by being lukewarm you are also rejected
>>41361748>you forgive me for trying to save a lost person? you are going to hell if you dont repent.I repent constantly, though I do not feel saved. I will not feel saved until I see my creator.>In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead>The desired action in question is to pick up the cross of Christ and to follow his example. You do that by hating your family and turning against them.Yes, but not by actually despising, as in, feeling negatively and acting negatively towards your family members. Christ is teaching us that our love must be so great for Him that compared to our love to human beings it is almost insignificant. But that does not mean we should, through the lens of "loving Jesus", we should not continue in our daily life to constant forgiveness, love and prayer for everyone we know including our parents, siblings and other loved ones.>it says that you must hate your parents if you want to be able to follow Christ.In comparison to the love you have for Christ. So no, you do not actively despise your family members. For that would contradict all the other teachings of Christ. Christ is saying something very akin to the Zen Buddhist throw-off teaching "If you see the Buddha, kill him". It is uncomfortable for us to love Christ more than our parents, but we must to be saved. He is not telling us to feel negatively or do bad things toward our parents. Every Church Father would agree with me.
>>41361786>though I do not feel savedbecause you are not savedconfidence in your salvation is essential part of faith, if you lack this confidence then this is your own conscience convicting you, therefore you are clearly not repenting enough >as in, feeling negatively and acting negatively towards your family membersyou absolutely must feel negative towards them, but you must act loving towards them. This is essentially what it means to love your enemiesto love ( show holy qualities ) your enemies ( to those you hate ). nevertheless you must still hate them, because if you do not, you will conform to the ways of the world and depart from Christ.>forgivenessforgiveness has nothing to do with the debate. to forgive is essential if you yourself want to be forgiven, that doesn't mean that they are not your enemies whom you must hate.>In comparison to the love you have for Christnope, you must completely hate them, make your choice. Christ or your family, you can have only one master.
>>41361805>you absolutely must feel negative towards them, but you must act loving towards them.Why didn't you imply that the first time? This makes this argument are lot more easier to get at, for I had assumed at first you were encouraging to genuinely dislike your own family members. I think the essential message of that passage in the book of Luke is Jesus is saying what will we choose when we are presented to either live with gracious parents - or go on worshipping God? If there was some kind of rift that meant we could only choose one or the other, would we have to true love of Christ to pick Christ?What would you say "hate" is in this context?
>>41361820>genuinely dislike your own family memberswell i still encourage that. This dislike must be translated into a total separation from them, not in the physical sense, but in an emotional sense.This seperations come in the form of refusing to participate in the modern culture which they are part of and also refusing to entertain their worldly concepts.The way you are meant to love them is the way you love yourself, so if you believe that Christ is the only way towards salvation, you would point them towards him through your actions. Thats the only type of love you can show them, which is not really your own, it is the love of Christ, you are merely a vessel, a lamp, which shines his light. Any other form of love towards them will condemn you and seperate you from Jesus, you must hate them for everything that they stand for, yourself also because you are a sinner to the core who needs to repent.
>>41361837So essentially hate the sin not the sinner, I understand. But you must still honour them and respect their wishes, unless of course this brings you closer to worldly sinful acts.
>>41361839to honour one's parents is an instruction to those in a Christian household, if you are not in one to begin with, your worldly parents will 100% cause you to stray away from the Lord
>>41360106Thank you friend, this is an excellent answer. I find that there is such an incredible continuity amongst all the faiths of this world, which, when presented to any normal person, would consider it the mark of a creator. The part of my brain raised with modern"critical thinking" still doubts God and hands him off as some mental phenomena.>>41360830Thank you brother, perhaps I just need more time with God in my life.>>41360745Thank you friend. Having been born secular I don't really understand what exactly faith is, I don't really know what to look for as much as those born into this church already have. I can ask you three things, Were you always a part of this faith? How can you always be sure that God is not only with you but with us at all? and Have you ever doubted Him? While elementary, these are the questions that plague my faith, as I am reasonably sure in my own capacity to answer less significant questions of faith.>>41361726It's more the fact that I need to know if others share my sense of being lost in the world. I never truly understood what faith is, and approximated the best I could, but am now worried that all my feelings and devotion is a construct of my mind. In short, I'm trying to fight my own brain to know if God is real, but I am already sure in the bible's events.
>>41361852Should I not pray then for my parents reconciliations and blessing? Should I instead pray that they may find God before they die? I want to do right for my fellow people and for Christ. I don't want to judge and scorn people anymore.
>>41361859It's not your own mind you're fighting, you're fighting Satan who's trying to drag you out of the book of life. Put your trust in God and regard not the feelings and thoughts that come into your mind for just as how they come they will go and temptation and lust and anger and all of these things. Of course everyone feels like that sometimes. God said that He will never leave or forsake you so who do you trust? Your feelings and emotions and thoughts that are maybe not even your own or do you trust God? Make up your mind.
>>41361920I see, I find that my worry is not that I must choose to trust my mind or that of God, but rather that they are inexplicably intwined.
>>41361935When your body perishes you'll be delivered out of the lusts and works of the flesh, until then you'll struggle like everyone else, it is written that in the flesh dwells no good thing, so every time you get bad feelings and stuff like that you'll know that it's not from God because God justified and sanctified those who believe on the Word of God and accept the blood of Jesus to be cleansed from all sin and unrighteousness.Jesus said that those who believe on him will never perish.When you believe God instead of your own thoughts that condemn you then you will understand the verses>Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.God said it is done, finished.This is the new testament, those who are sanctified by the blood of Jesus cannot be condemned, cannot accused although Satan the accuser accuses you day and night.Those who believe are trully free from all things, sanctified and justified.>And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.God doesn't even remember your short comings, thefts, perjuries, fornications, immoralities, lies, sins and so on.If you don't believe God you're one of those christians in limbo who keep saying they are sinners and where do sinners go? To hell.The boldness to come before the throne of God is only by the blood of Jesus Christ and it is said also in the old testament in many many places that it is God that did it and God's righteousness which is imputed on the believers else no man can do it.>When I shall say to the righteous, that he shall surely live; if he trust to his own righteousness, and commit iniquity, all his righteousnesses shall not be remembered; but for his iniquity that he hath committed, he shall die for it.>No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.
