>be me>meditate >feel the difference, internal blockages opening>meditate one morning, start feeling this high energy all around my body, this uplifting feeling like I could shoot out of my body at any moment> get so self-conscious and scared about it that next time I meditate, I can't even get calmWhy does this happen? Is this an ego wall? This always happens to me. I let it go, I stop caring about making progress or making a name for myself or boosting my ego, I feel real progress. Then I get self-conscious despite my better judgement, I try again, and it's like I'm back at square one. Can't even calm down. Best I can do is sit still and be with the feelings as they pass. I end up trying to recreate my successful moment and of course, i fail because this isn't something you can recreate like it's a recipe. How do i get past this block in my meditation?
>>41640313Just your mind playing tricks, it'll go away.
>>41640313>How do i get past this block in my meditation?smoke meth
>>41640313you noped before the best partyou're probably just conditioned by horror movies to think of the spiritual world as something scary, that you'll see angry ghosts and shitthat out of body feeling should make you feel excited and motivated if not for this conditioning
>>41640313>I end up trying to recreate my successful moment and of course, i failthis happens with every success in meditation. after i first felt the bliss of jhana, i was pissed at how i could never get back there in subsequent attempts. you just gotta develop an attitude of non-expectation, procrastinate results, as if nothing will surely happen now, it will happen at night when you go to sleep or in the next meditation
>>41640313>Why does this happen?the universe is quantum mechanicalone cannot remove himself from the experimentprobabilities determine the ability for various things to manifestthus it becomes that one may only arrange the conditions for something to manifest and cannot directly manifest a lot of thingsone cant sit there and focus on fundamentals until something arises, then try to just focus on the arisings and forget the fundamentals>How do i get past this block in my meditation?Vizzini always told me to go back to the beginning, so that's where I go
>>41640859Somehow, it all came together without me ever having to do anything. All the principles and practices. The minute my mind stepped in, everything stopped. Now I'm sitting here, and a part of me is treating this like it's a means to an end, or that I should be chasing that high. Obviously, it never comes. I'm trying to hold every moment and give it just as much attention as those highs. Even those highs, are just feelings. It's stupid to hang on to them. But my mind thinks otherwise. So I guess getting over all this is going to take consistent practice and determination. And More importantly: acceptance of the fact that I desire it and want it. Because I've been down the road where I reject it and reject myself and it's hell man. You can get stuck in that cloud your entire life.
>>41642823>The minute my mind stepped in, everything stoppedmentation is antithetical to meditative progress
>>41642531>one cant sit there and focus on fundamentals until something arises, then try to just focus on the arisings and forget the fundamentalsExactly. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I didn't want to go back to the beginning. For ego purposes. I got hooked on a feeling and chased that high (focusing on the arising). I lost the moment, neglected in favor for the imagined high I had. Going back to the fundamentals means not having the giddyness to jump at the first opportunity to surpass them. Already, you lose the very point of the fundamentals in doing that. I only betrayed myself insomuch as I tried to reject my longing for the high. By chasing it, I didn't let myself sit with it like I should have. Like restlessness, I probably would have seen myself lose interest and move on in chasing the high. Sitting here now processing it all, I do feel more grounded and aware than I was in my meditation when I tried to chase the high. My ego thinks about those highs, and it sees them as dominion. Something to be grasped and felt. Such is not the case though. Walls like this perhaps, are inevitable. Informal meditation might be best to process it and let it go. I clearly lack the lack of ego or means to hold onto those feelings right now and not cling to them.
>>41640313You just have to do it enough that whatever gets you too riled up becomes normal and stops doing that
it's actually a good thingyour energy system does these trial runs to test out how stable you areif you become dependent or destabilised by sudden bliss experiences then that will actually massively damage your life in the long term. so your energy system does trial runs to help you cultivate detachment. once you can face these experiences with detachment, they will happen more often. it's basically a thing to help you not get addicted like in that pleasure cube comic.
>>41640313I had a similar thing when I was on retreat trying to get sakadagami. I had an experience that was like a close encounter with fruition, and after that I was too psyched up to get it for the rest of the retreat because my heart would start racing when it felt like I was close. Then while meditating while lying in bed after waking up a few days after coming home, I had a fruition that marked a clear transition from stream enterer to sakadagami. I think what did it is just giving up on the expectation that something's going to happen, or getting out of a time-limited context like retreat or having a goal about when you want to attain something. Or maybe there's something about meditating in bed. You should practice it if you haven't already, it's where most of my most powerful meditations happen.
>>41643899Thank you, I will. The more I think about my experience which sounds a lot like yours, I'm realizing my brain saw a reward (or a risk in some other cases) and it immediately got self-conscious to assess the risk or reward. That became the center of my attention. I had an allostatic overload which caused that kind of response, and they key isn't hating myself for it, it's letting it be and exposing myself to it, then being that conscious presence. Using your analogy, I'm probably in Sotāpanna. Climbing the beanstalk into Sakadāgāmi and beyond is the goal, like with the Jhanas. The more present I can be in my life, in my meditations, the more I'm be in that stream (higher allostatic load), and the more risk/reward will be less of a problem (regardless of intensity or attachment) or a thing that makes me freeze, up to the point where like a devout monk, even the most intense of disturbances doesn't disturb me unless I choose to react to the disturbance. I'm pretty sure the first couple stages can be done just living life and doing regular meditation practice, but I'll definitely consider your suggestion.
>>41640313Biology of kundalini.com Picrel
>>41640313Just sit and meditate. Stop worrying about "feeling the diference" or "removing blockages" or "progress". Whatever headshit shows up when you meditate, just let it fuck off on its own and go back to your meditation. People overthink this shit.
>>41645287Why not Meditating is thinking hard as possible even on nothing
>>41645302using any mental energy is antithetical to awareness cultivationthinking consumes the same root energy that is required to build up that becomes the spiritual lightbut if one doesnt stop the mind, then the energy never builds up and advanced meditation states pretty much become impossible
