I suppose, just on a basic level, are you willing to venture out into the woods?

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>>41690001
If there were any around bumfuck nowhere (my current location) definitely! I would shit my pants trying to go to one at night though.

>>41689737
You don't. They get you.
>>41690001
this

>>41690028
>They get you.
More specificity please?

>>41689737
Extremely unlikely.
It requires too many assumptions with an inherently low chance of coincidence.
Well... you know, there's an equation for calculating the odds of life existing/encountering in the universe, something like that...
You need to take all the existing cabins in the forest.
Select all the ones inhabited by single females.
Then, from that number, select the ones inhabited by witches.
From those, select the beautiful/sexy ones.
And from the remainder, select those who find you attractive, interesting, and exciting for love and marriage.
Something tells me we'll have a problem with the number 0 long before the final step.
So...
Maybe you should move to another reality, where there are many of them? It sounds crazy, of course, but how you can achieve anything other than zero by that logic is beyond me.
(and giving advice in the style of neural networks and obviousness is not very fun)

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>>41690051
"Moving to another reality" just means increasing the sample size, so that's not something I'd be interested in! So I'll calculate it... is the value close to zero? Sure, but how do people find "perfect" partners at all if not for those seemingly oh so small probabilities?! So...

P= C·M·W·A·R·M

Where...
C= cabins in the woods
M= single women in them
W= single women in them who are witches
A= single women who are witches and live in cabins in the woods I find sexy
R= single women who are witches and live in cabins in the woods open to lifelong commitment
M= single women who are witches and live in cabins in the woods open to lifelong commitment that find me suitable

Using conservative values...
C= 10k
M= 0.1
W= 0.01
A= 0.3
R= 0.5
M= 0.15

Then...
P= 0.15
It may seem like I just solved my own thread topic, but not yet. We vaguely know the probability, so how do I increase my odds? Help me out here guys.

>>41690036
They have to like and understand you. They wouldn't abduct people they want to marry.

>>41690133
I suppose dealing with this wicked behavior would be part of the fun. Should I 100% always say goodbye if they abducted me? Would I never come out of that alive and move into a relationship?

>>41690125
That's the thing, it's impossible... even when it comes to ordinary people. For example, in Russia, 8 out of 10 marriages end in divorce; other countries aren't far behind—and even if a marriage remains legally or religiously valid, that doesn't mean the people in it are happy.
And your case is even more unusual. And yes, increasing the sample size, as well as the possibilities, could increase the chances and possibilities, when you could, for example, remove the idea of houses in the woods from the equation—for example, in fantasy worlds, where witches aren't something improbable, forbidden, or magical, but something like, well... a therapist, for example; you could build a house in the woods yourself. But that's a different problem of impossibility, and it's all sad.

>>41690184
Sad why?

>>41690198
Because most people will get similar calculations or near-zero results regarding what they want in life, unless their interests are limited to a few days or weeks and basic needs.
You know the expression: "In much knowledge lies much misery"?
That's pretty much the case with us: we have something to compare with, something to desire, something to imagine, and something to strive for, but it either doesn't exist, is impossible, or the chance of success is so slim that for every one who achieves it, there will be millions who try and fail.
And it doesn't matter how perverse or normal your desires are—the result is there: zero, comma, many zeros before some number.
That's what's sad. For me, for you, for him... for all of us.

>>41689737

Undergo the Information Overload via getting Spiritually high on the forced Synchretism of the Imprecating Archons...codenamed "The Crucible."

>>41689737
Go to Appalachia. met a granny magic practitioner once she's hot but her accent