So I took a gram and a half around 12:50 and was watching a show. 45 minutes passed and I felt nothing, an hour and 2. I tried to see things in the dark and some images appeared (of the goddesses face) but not much else and I became frustrated. I continued watching my show and was drawing but then the lights began to glow; and then I felt a realization and felt this extreme love and connection I never had felt before for a friend of mine. And I realized it was genuine pure uncorrupted love and that nothing else mattered. I cried so happily. I realized deep down I was a loving person. Nothing else mattered but that; my own personal views weren’t things I needed to be ashamed of, I simply wouldn’t want them anymore because I had found all I needed. And then I thought about my last experience on shrooms and how I looked like a corpse and realized I needed to accept Christ to maintain my being and so I did. The experience changed me. I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings anymore, I want to live life instead of hiding in my room and I want to help people. My only fear is can I take a misstep feeling my base desires and lose access to that light I felt? Perhaps the light only shows hints of itself and even if we want nothing but it we can’t because we have to remember that experience and live life honoring it knowing we will see it again when we leave.
