>got through some sort of ego death recently>been derealising so hard since that i feel completely disconnected from everything, nothing makes me suffer anymore >but at the same time i feel connected to everyone across the world, its like everything finally makes sense>feel filled spiritually but i cant really put words onto itwhats going on? is that enlightenment? or is it another type of psychotic illusion? anyone have a similar experience?
>>42150108Bingo you are one of the 144,000 and you have found the end of times and you have been judged by God, this is the salvation.
>>42150108The inverse has happened. I hate everything more. HOW DO I GET OUT
>>42150108Ever since the covid hoax I stopped interacting with the goyim cattle. I just look through them and pretend they don't exist. I don't even greet them or acknowledge their presence. I'm not staring either, I'm just looking straight through them as if they weren't there.My life has significantly improved. I am at peace
>>42150108Well enjoy waiting for your death and feeling like you're forced to live every second
>>42150215the thing is that its not that unpleasant (i dont feel forced to be alive) , its just that i kinda feel like watching shit happening, the problem is that everything feels like a weird dream, and my memory is fucked up, i cant remember shit + i dont feel like living in the moment everything just slips through
>>42150213is peace just being isolated? arent you afraid to miss out on genuine relationships?
>>42150108>>42150108Two things, a personal story and an idea that I've been working on.First, the story. While on LSD with my girlfriend at the time, I hit a moment that can be defined as ego death but with a curisous twist. When I was sitting on the side of her bed, four different colored puzzle pieces, each representing an intrinsic virtue, emanated from her hands an spiral into the center of my awareness. Red, yellow, green, blue, which represented courage, kindness, faith, and humility. At that moment, all pretenses of what I assumed of myself, which often caused chaotic tension, effectively dissolved, as before that moment I subscribed to non-dualist philosophy, but struggled with identifying exactly my ego-personanlity complex completely consisted of, which lead down a road of absurdities, contradictions, and suffering.When the puzzle pieces click, I realized I had a fundamental self and place in the universe, and that I was centered in love.I had previously defined ego death as kind of having an empty, amorphous quality to it. Not negative, not positive, just a complete zero.I didn't believe in a soul at the time, as I conceived of the soul as an egotistical phantom in its struggle to maintain permanency, but the experience made me believe in its existence, and that it was intrinsically pure.So, true ego death may not be a state of derealized emptiness filled with infinite love, but a revelation of one's true character, and how it logically configures with the rest of reality in complete self-consistency, which is innocently simple and pure, rending it completely irreducible in its most fundamental sense.This post was rather long, so I won't get into part two.
>>42150285that explains exactly what i been through, i remember feeling like living in the "wrong" way until now, its like my ego and sense of self had reset and everything just feels easier. now i gotta find a cure to the derealisation and memory loss but i guess thats the trade off for enlightenment
>>42150313The derealization may fade with them. Ego death, which is well documented but not well understood, is essentially a dissolution of the DMN (Default Mode Network), which regulates our sense of persistent self. So, I'm not surprised that you're experiencing memory loss, since memory as used by the DMN is one of the regulatory processes of maintaining the ego.What I suggest is not entirely identifying your point of view as the entirety of your self. The entirety of yourself is all of reality, which, to me, is more of a clinical fact than a profound realization with immense emotional resonance, as it doesn't really do anything for me anymore. Regardless, identifying the point of view as the self is a cognitive error which creates the distortion known as the ego.
>>42150108>is that enlightenment?unless normies can literally see light emanating from you, no
>>42150108lmao hi me, im you. going through the same shit, aswell as some divine punishments>>42150215maybe someday something interesting happens ...
>>42150213covid revealed the truth about people. most of them are cowards and far too many of them are abusive when given the opportunity or power.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tIFxVyzD_Kg
>>42150108I had a similar experience after basic training. The goal is to strip you down to see if there is anything worth looting in your psyche. Some of them go on to become something. Others fade away and become nothing. It is what it is.
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