Hello anons of /x/, the first thing that I want to say is that I started taking Psilocybin Mushrooms this year, and everything felt GREAT at first and I'm not going to pretend otherwise, but there has been a shift which I will soon get to....I'll start off with the positive, and healthwise I've been more committed to being healthy and I've been putting on a healthy amount of weight while keeping a consistent workout routine.My body feels like it's actually operating correctly, and I'm seeing results FAST and think that I'll be able to reach my goals this year. I'm more energetic physically, and it feels like my body is not something that limits me anymore.Any amount of pain/s I used to have are either entirely gone now or don't even bother me anymore...My sleeping has also turned around for the better. I haven't had any nightmares or sleep paralysis of the sorts. I'm also starting to dream more often and more vividly, etc.>PARTIILife feels so surreal now. I have become more aware, and this awareness has been taking over. It feels great feeling like I have control over my own mind, but I don't really feel like the same person anymore.All my life I was an energetic talkative person, and I would have thoughts running through my head, but after taking PsiloShrooms that part of me felt like it pretty much ceased to exist, and I haven't felt right ever since, because I'd much rather be the real me, and a part of me has been thinking: Is there even a real me anymore? It feels like my mind shifted FAR, and not only far but also into something else. That I caged the real me: The world looks different now, but a part of me feels like I trapped myself. That I'm in someone else's world.
>>42231191>PARTIIIBut recently there has been almost nothing but problems, despite the good in my life that has come from taking PsiloShrooms.I have only had 2 trips up to this point, and my 1st was a highdose and my 2nd was a lowdose.This didn't happen during any of my trips, but as I went on with living my life all of a sudden everything just went DARK for me, and I felt a lot of darkness and confusion in my life.Reality feels more brutal and real, and I feel like I've been losing my energy. That I've trapped myself....Idk if my mind is coming from somewhere else, and I feel like my thoughts are mine and maybe they aren't, and I do feel bad because I don't feel right and I feel like there is something wrong with life...I no longer feel a connection to the old REAL me anymore, and I can feel a pain in my mind and my soul. It seems my old self has now died, and that I've been put into a position where I can't win.
>>42231191>>42231202>TL;DR:When I first took Psilocybin Mushrooms I felt like I had FREEDOM at last, but now all of a sudden I feel trapped and like I'm falling into madness...I feel really lost and like a different person (which is why I've been asking myself, is there even a real me anymore), which has been really bothering me, despite all of the health/sleep/discipline/mindset changes that I have been experiencing, because I feel like I'm not the real me anymore, and that scares me....I wanted freedom, and I was thinking that I finally had freedom, but now idk where I'm going and I just want to be ME again.
Hi OP. I appreciate what you wrote. I believe it is very very common after awakening. You should do the spiritual groundwork again, listen to Terrence McKenna lectures on Youtube. I am excited for who you will be and how you will feel after this wave passes. I felt a similar crashing of identity after my psibi sessions at 24 and at 28 now this is the first 6 month period I felt I "came down" from that extended awakening "trip"... no I wasnt high the whole time haha it's like you said.. an awareness so intense I couldn't turn it off. I lost jobs, weight, had to move in with folks. I am doing better now, were you like me and experimenting alone? Psyb might need a guru. Cheers and be well I think you can make it out of this. Envision it maybe taking 2 or 3 years to cultivate though.
Mushrooms and acid fucked me over in so many ways. Yes they seem lovely at first, the whole world is bliss, everything is in tune, you're superhuman, but then you must return to daily monotony. You can't be high all the time, and the I let myself get roped in again this year. It was heaven for a couple months, then I crashed, hard. Running from cops just to feel alive, delusions and paranoia about gangstalking, brief periods of deluded clarity, and now a great depression of sorts that I don't eat, don't drink water, I just chainsmoke cigarettes and drink energy drinks to function barely enough to make it to work and not lose more than I already have. They really are forbidden fruit for a reason
>>42231347Replying not because I want to, but because I'm tormented with numerology now, specifically 47. Your post is hopeful, and it pisses off my chronic despair. Everyone who cares about me in life wishes I would listen to you, and see light, even the part of myself that I caged. But I caged it for a reason, that hopeful deluded mushroom bliss needed to get exorcised. Im not one to give advice, I don't plan on staying alive past next winter, but I just felt the need to reply because I've been using this name tag for months and you rolled the numbers. Congrats for being right
You're supposed to listen, take what you need and leave what you don't. It's not a frequent flyer program. It's a trap if you let it. There are always pitfalls when you have no context for new worlds. Everything is a trap if you let it. I've been tripping since 1983. It should be a rare, peak experience, otherwise it's just an experience.
>>42231347Hello anon, I apologize for the really late reply, but had to get some sleep and was busy today, so I hope that you see this...First thank you anon, I appreciate it and what spiritual groundwork should I do?I don't think I did much of any (the first time I kinda just jumped into it, which was wreckless of me), which I probably should have done, but I'll give him a listen, thank you.>I am excited for who you will be and how you will feel after this wave passes.That's reassuring for me anon. I'm still scared even if slightly, and it kinda comes and goes in waves thankfully, because if it was constant I would be feeling much worse...I do feel physically tired more, but I'm trying to keep my head up high and keep sane.>I am doing better now, were you like me and experimenting alone?The first time I did it I was with my Mom, and she made me more anxious by saying how if I take too much I'm going to get hurt and I know thats not true, so thankfully it didn't set me off too much, but overall I'm kinda glad I had my first trip around her, because despite some anxiety and intensity I was able to pull through the trip...My 2nd trip was a lowerdose, and I did it alone and even workedout while I was on it, and I felt great.>Cheers and be well I think you can make it out of this.Thank you anon, God Bless and also I certainly hope that it doesn't take that long but if it for some reason does I'll try not to worry and I'll keep pushing through :)>>42231520I'm sorry to hear that 347, and I feel the same way about feeling how I am a superhuman, but I am going through a rough patch right now and I'm Praying that I will make it through with good health and I know that I will make it through and I hope that you are able to recover 347.>>42231551Please give me your wisdom on how to get through this anon, and yes I should have probably had more intention before tripping: What I had going into this was that I wanted to better my life for the better.
>>42233954Your mom is right. I'm 28 years old, when I was 18 I had a bad trip, on a heroic dose. Thought I was a zombie in an apocalypse and set my house on fire to warm up, I'm Canadian so January is cold. Walked out of the house in PJs and bare feet, with the lighter in my pocket, then I started hearing screams and sirens. By the time I realized it was real life I was already getting out in an ambulance and they asked me the month and year, I told them July 1997 but it was January 2016. Thankfully didn't go to jail, Canadian laws are stupid, but it took years to even start feeling safe about them again, but the demons I saw when I was on the other side left a lasting desire in my mind to go back to the spirit world. So I kept doing this shit. High doses fuck with reality hard, you never know what's gonna happen when you wake up, if you wake up.
So to comment on the anhedonia, I would call that a normal chemical imbalance from the brain compensating for releasing the happy chemicals during the trip. If you do them alone, don't do a lot. I've had trips where if there hadn't been people around me, I would have broken all my fingers. The biggest benefit I would say is a concrete faith that God is in fact real, this reality is twisted in horrible ways, but there is light. Makes sense that it shines in the darkness. I've had lots of hallucinations, and honestly looking back I wish I would have planned for financial security instead of being an example. Sadly I can't follow my own advice, the depression has gotten so bad from all the bad choices that suicide seems like the best option at this point. But at least I finally don't have that longing to watch the patterns anymore
I take them alone all the time.Atleast once a week for awhile now.No real issues other than when first starting I had a lot to purge and stuff mentally.Nothing but uphill since letting it all out. Just more aware of how I react to things my consciousness is sponging.Sometimes it's painting recent things.Other times its the past.Sometimes dream like things with correlation.Just tidying the memory banks and straightening up the subconscious when given the chance.Eventually you'll outpace whatever thought was holding you down op.Or stop trying. :)
What you are doing on them matters aswell.
Idk to be honest after awhile some of that stuff has gone away. People always go on about ego death and all this but in truth to me it seems to be more like a purer aspect of self. Like before choices. Where the idea of you now has reasons to make a certain choice you are now free to choose differently. To decide indiferently. To the programming. To defined expectations. To indoctrination. No real mood issues though or depression like stuff. You are also experiencing a hyperaccelerated perception. Allow you to define a new way of seeing things quite quickly and sometimes outside of your control. You sound like you are struggling with being left in ideation you did not enjoy. But maybe I'm wrong. :)
>>42231191Ever psychedelic can. Too much fucking robo tripping can leave people brain dead
back after a bit, but I'll try to respond in a more timelymanner to you anonsI'm feeling better for now at least, so feel free to ask any questions.>>42234053>>42234082Thats a scary experience 347, how high of a dose did you take? I'll be honest that I haven't taken any really highdoses, and the doses I've taken have been small, but even then they have had a lasting impact on me.Thank you for the advice regardless, and I'm probably going to be taking a break from PsiloShrooms for a little bit, before doing any more if I do, and it would probably just remain at smallerdoses for the forseeable future.>>42234133>>42234153>>42234196So what you're saying is that I should lean more into the PsiloShrooms, instead of trying to resist what I'm feeling, and just let the bad from my mind be purged so I can move to the next level?And thank you for the reassurance...I workedout and went to sleep after replying last time, and I feel much better now, and I am going to try not to fight what I am feeling as much, and just ride it out as best as I can.>What you are doing on them matters aswell.The first time I just laiddown and watched a movie, but the news was crazy and it was probably not the best time to trip, so that got me anxious aswell but I eventually calmed down. I'm surprised at how well I handled shrooms for my first time...The 2nd time I played vidya, read/journaled, and then workedout and I felt great....And yes I am struggling right now, but I am going to try to read more (reading doesn't feel like a chore to me anymore after taking shrooms) and workout, maybe even pickup a hobby to find more purpose in my life...A part of me suspects that I feel so awful right now, because the shrooms are telling me that I need to live my life to the full and make every single day count while I can.>>42234200Really??? What about LSD? I was thinking about possibly doing it this year, but I am definitely going to wait until I'm in a better place mentally.
>>42236203I spend a lot of time expelling things. How i feel. The things I can see. Different perspectives. Meditation rituals. I have dread the onset and the come up. Tried to get out of taking them. Took them anyways and it always turned out better. For a time like you said all positive then this dark turn. That forest isn't endless. You'll find your way eventually.
bumping
You fried your dopamine receptors you retarded faggot. Eventually you just lose the ability to get happy and prone to anxiety. I would say just stop it all together and ween back to reality but you're probably going to be just another loser and kys over fucking mushrooms.
>>42239235>You fried your dopamine receptors you retarded faggot. Eventually you just lose the ability to get happy and prone to anxiety. I would say just stop it all together and ween back to reality but you're probably going to be just another loser and kys over fucking mushrooms.lol so many fucking demons here. Ignore them.
>>42231191You are clearly weak, you don’t need to consume things for the effect
