i have nowhere to turn, because i don't have a religion that i like. i have family members who may have been doing black magic on me, and i may be being targeted by a god i grew up worshipping. my ocd has made me notice extremely subtle patterns of cause and effect that prevent me from doing many things i liked to cope because they inexplicably cause me bad luck. i had a dream where a voice told me "Some people choose to be tortured in this life so that they have an advantage in the afterlife." ive really got no hope. my soul is being tortured via my senses and mind. i am weak and unable to defend myself against the malevolent entities that are attacking me. i am unable to change my luck/fate. i really want it to stop, but i can't kill myself because i don't want to be dragged to a nightmare dimension upon death by "soul mercenaries" as someone said can happen if you commit suicide while in a vibration of negative emotion. i want it all to stop. when i was a kid and prayed to that god for help He helped me. but now i have no one to help me. so many bad things keep happening and i get cornered and think "why won't anyone help me?" i can't take life in this world. i truly want it all to stop. it is too cruel. i really want it to stop. i think it's too far and too cruel, and i want it to stop. i want to die of a sudden medical problem and be a beautiful delicate girl like the one in this picture. i don't want to live anymore. this world is too sick. my soul is too wounded. i am weak and don't have strength to fight. i want it to stop. i can't say i want to die because of obsessive-compulsive legalistic thinking and wondering "but what if something good happens?" i want it to stop. i want peace. i want happiness and peace. i want it all to stop.
Have you tried not being gay
>>42267336have you looked into buddhism? you might be suited for monastic life. if you don't have any debt you can get in to a TheravÄda monastery.
>>42267442i was a Buddhist for around 2 years after growing up Hindu and Buddhism messed up my life in a lot of ways. i hate Buddhism. i dont believe in karma, and i dont want to annihilate my own existence. i dont think that victims who kill their abusive parents deserve to go to Avici for quintillions of years because killing ones parent is "anantarika-karma". I think Buddhism is evil and like the spiritual belief equivalent of being buried alive in a coffin. IT'S AN EVIL RELIGION AND I HATE IT. I HATE RELIGION. I HATE ABRAHAMIC AND DHARMIC RELIGIONS.
>>42267454ok, sounds like you had a different experience than I did. I had a similar opinion for a while, that it promotes the ending of all life but I think I was projecting my pessimism into it. I didn't mean to make you upset by bringing up bad memories, I apologize.
>>42267491it's ok, and i appreciate you being courteous and apologizing for it. i think Taoism is the most objectively true religion personally. I think Taoism is an explanation of the principles of existence and that Buddhism is one of many "things" that exist within existence rather than something which transcends existence. I think Taoism basically describes the environment and how it works and Buddhism is something that exists within the environment.
>>42267336Reach your hand out imagine all the evil against you flowing towards it and push. Keep pushing until it breaks then gather the evil back to your hand and push again. It won't fix it but it will offer some relief.
>>42267336OP, first, relax. Breathe. Slow down and just clear your mind. Cause you dumped a whole load in your post and sounds like you are all over the place.First. Lets start small: everyone feels like this at some point in life.And yes, I had entities come after me, mostly because of the people I was friends with and when I cut them out of my life, the demonic entities attacked me in my dreams. So yeah, I have had similar encounters by people who wish me ill. How did I stop it? Read the Bible, prayed, took communion, asked Jesus to save me, and He did. Several times, despite my many many many sins. and yes, he saved me from myself when I was wishing to die in the lowest time in life.You asked how to save you from this, well there's your answer. Even if you think Abrahamic religion isn't for you, I encourage you to at least read the new Testament starting with Matthew. Give it a chance, you may be surprised by what you experience. At least sign the cross, knowing that the name of Jesus alone has power over demons and curses you may be experiencing.
>>42267442yo can you point me toward a monastery accepts losers that are drowning in debti'll shave my head if i need toalso i might be a tranny
>>42267567none of them will take you and if you lie they'll find out because their laymen will do a background check on you. you'll have to clear your debt because they don't want to be disturbed by debt collectors. you can probably join some sort of Wiccan collective if you're trans, they'll actually praise you for it.
>>42267336do a kickflip
