So there has been a common theme in most of the recent trips ive had in the past where basically the universe or God being the only thing in existence is really fucking old and lonely and is filled with self hatred and suicidal ideation because it is the only thing in existence but also wants to live as much as it wants to die and made this universe to escape this feeling but the feeling still exists outside of my perception and is essentially why my life sucks and i always have self sabotage tendencies. Now I guess I have to ask even though i feel like I know the answer, is this true or what would be the solution to this as fighting some part of me that wont give up until im dead seems like a fruitless effort. pic mostly unrelated
>>42391441
>>42391441Sounds very BPD. Do you experience constant flow of thought? How much are you hiding in your regular life, even with the close ones? Are you 'being urself' or are 'trying to appeal?' Any traumas/lack of parental validation and attention during early years?I always experienced strong trips I couldn't really control. Can go into spiritual-themed rants, supported by visuals even from the fucking weed. Psychedelics are something I tried like a couple of times in my life, and this was fucking bad.
>>42392438Are you going to just make up more and more ridiculous shit until I just give up on thinking
>>42391441Yeah I'm sure you came up with this idea on your own and you didn't just get reddit memed on. Faggot.
>>42393449There was more to it than that nigger but it sounds dumb quite frankly
