>now make the white truck drive away>now park a black truck in it's spot
>>42396216>he finally left his house>make 5 cars drive by really slowly and look at him
>>42396238>he took off his headphones>implant voices in his head telling him to kill himself
>>42396238This one does happen
>>42396216>make sure his amazon package is delivered while he's masturbating
>he's about to be browsing /x/>Quick make a thread mocking the idea of a old movie where we mocked the idea of mocking him in a 24/7 live show
>go to a grocerry store to buy two items>only one checkout open and nobody is there>take less than 5 min to find the items i need and go to the checkout >already 6 people at the checkouti am in Matrix or Hell, otherwise i can't explain this shit
>>42396216>start a thread about youtubers>ok now for the image....esoterica
>>42396216Nobody is controlling your life. Now go back to the bowling alley, the audience wants an encore.
>>42396216>wait until he just starts taking a shit>ok now call the phone. door knock go!>car alarm start in 3... 2...
>okay he's going for a walk now>send 5 people walking psycho dogs in his direction>he's taking the route through the woods>cut him off with a group of judgemental teenagers
>he's going to go grocery shopping>make him have diarrhea and shit himself
>>42399058But they already gave me this routine
>he's getting on the bus>make the bus driver argue with him and make him late
>>42399058name 7 movies in which this happens
>>42400228>sharty farty the 7 movie epic that mogged lotr
Say, w-what are the oranges for?
>>42396216>modify the checkout software so he can't buy beerIf you lived here Christo, you would want to drink beer too,
>>42396216>park the royal opera house truck outside the court. yes, the big red one.
>>42397454The Dude abides?
>>42397337Actually anon I work retail and I am certain that the "I am ready to checkout" idea propogates and is psychic in nature. I can induce it.Also games do load faster if you don't care.
>>42400953I have the balls. I am also the True Man. The secret of the universe is that Cristof and True Man both know they're playing roles in a much larger Truman Show. They're the only ones in on it and everyone else doesn't know about the extra super secret advanced cameras. They dance like Shiva to entertain the world, knowing they are the Divine Actor.
>He finally got a date>give him projectile diarrhea>make sure it's painful so he's cries while shitty himself
>he's thinking about going outside for the first time in over a week>crank the heat and humidity>set insects to high
>>42400953I suffer the same shit, op. Worse in fact. I was literally born cursed and over the years I've racked up an additional 26 new curses or so. Maybe 25 or 27. After so much you just lose count...I hate this fucking world and this evil cursed non-existence.
>>42396216>so when he goes into the tunnel under the road, to see the dog show, i want every single dog in that tunnel, going in the other direction>yes, i know it's hundreds of dogs and owners
> he's found something funny on x> it must be good, he can't stop laughing> quik derail the thread and get him back it sombre, morose, and lonely with suicidal ideations. viewers love that shit.
>>42396216>He's crossing a street that never has traffic>Make him wait for a car>Ok he's at another street with no traffic>Do it again>Alright now make a car back out of its driveway directly in front of him>Keep them coming, a suspicious amount
>>42400940Fascinating. What is your technique for influencing crowds in this way? I want to try it. If you accidentally pick up and waste a health powerup you don’t need in a game, you will rapidly make a small mistake that leaves your character exactly as injured as the powerup would have healed. It’s uncanny.
Quickly. How many of you have ever seen a neighbour with groceries?
>>42402029It's a mindfullness thing, but I found that if I sincerely try to "escape" watching the register, all the customers will try to check out to keep me from 'escaping'.At the very least I've seen people in the store come in over an hour apart, and then all be in line together, and it really does look like they are getting "signal" to stop shopping that hits everyone at once.
>>42402034I've seen it happen a few times. One time I helped my grandma's neighbour take hers into the house and she had to assure me she wasn't an alcohol because there was so much wine.
>>42402352i noticed this herd behavior in high school. if one kid got up to do a specific thing, suddenly a bunch of other kids followed suit exactly. some kind of psychic hivemind focused on specific thoughts about doing things.
>>42400244Congratulations! You’re going to spend eternity being sodomised in Hell.
>>42402034so heres the deal with that, once you start to look it happens, but when you forget about it, it never happens. Now that it is mentioned I will see it about 3 times this coming week. Its a simulation protical I think that if you question it they have to show it. Its really fucked up but thats just how it is.
>>42402352Alright. I need to go pick up a few things from the grocery store soon. I’ll give this a whirl. >>42404268I’ll watch out for this too. I’ll keep questioning it, and if I see it happen even once, I’ll report back.
>>42404289trust you will see it soon since you questioned it, give it like a day or 2.
>>42404295Yeah even if this thread is down, I will report back in another one about both phenomena, if I can get them to work.I live in a street densely populated with several apartment complexes. I have never seen any of the hundreds of people who live here carrying groceries. Not fucking once.
>>42396216>Park a white 777 plate nose to nose with a black 666 plate>Yes... he'll see the 666 plate on the way in, try to get him to see the 777 on the way out.
>>42397554This literally happens to me. Am I being targeted or am I a schizo?
>>42403912The interesting difference is my store gave me the chance to control for a crazy number of variables. The giveaway was when I realized that its not observing me go to the register that triggers it, but seemingly somthing about my intention at the register. And i might actually just be picking up their intentions and integrating it into my decisions, but I do now have some faggot retail "Spider Sense" and when it goes off everyone is ready to check out at once. It really has helped my job as that brief warning is enough mental prep to actually handle the rush well and people have noticed.
>now that he has entered the library>we will make him fart loudy>but first his crush will enter>make sure she looks ravishing>make sure he farts really loud
>>42401041
>>42396216>he drank black tea >now make something bad happen >he changed his phone wallpaper to bamboo >now make something bad happen >he brewed the green tea too long >now make something bad happen including even technology malfunctioning at work in a way that makes his boss even more angry at him that day >he drank oolong tea >now make something bad happen but it also leads to something good but eventually gets reset to neutral and the good thing it led to disappears >he used a picture that actually looks good as his phone wallpaper >now confuse him and affect his life circumstances in particular ways depending on whether the picture was from pinterest or tumblr >he went to go buy high quality jasmine green tea because it actually relaxes him mentally/emotionally >now when hes getting a shopping cart before he walks in make a crazy random lady accuse him of stealing her phone because he picked up a shopping cart that was the same kind as one she apparently misplaced earlier and now cant find her phone and now he takes this as a sign that drinking jasmine green tea, the only one that actually produces favorable mental and emotional effects, will cause him to have a random unpleasant public altercation with a stranger that day >he figured out that the cheap ito en tea in bags from the asian store actually brings him good luck >now make him paranoid that it could come at the price of causing an equivalent amount of bad luck in the future >he figured out that cold brewing the ito en tea actually makes the bad luck come before and makes him have a shitty night until he wakes up and drinks the tea >now make him too annoyed to deal with having to deal with the bad luck and having things go wrong as he gets ready for bed so he just goes back to brewing it hot ocd is hell and has made me realize how some completely random things are actually somehow connected and i cant make them NOT connected even when i try to do ERP for them
>>42406216>he stopped worshipping Krishna >NOW>MAKE>HIS>NEIGHBORS>GIVE>HIM>BEDBUGS >DESTROY EVERYTHING >MAKE HIS FATHERS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WORSE TOO >SHOW HIM 1:08 ON THE CLOCK ALL THE TIME ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS THINKING ABOUT SPIRITUALITY OR WHY HES SUFFERING SO MUCH EVEN IF HE JUST CAME BACK TO HIS ROOM AND CHECKED HIS PHONE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AROUND AN HOUR WITH NO IDEA WHAT THE TIME MIGHT HAVE BEEN SO IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN THAT HE JUST SUBCONSCIOUSLY PREDICTED THE TIME ACCURATELY >@&÷&;/,%(:[:<@(×?×,#?-(![!]+]+)+×?÷?*/,/,^:?"(-(@<@×<+(?÷ =NRJFIFJDJEKW8W
>>42406216>>42406280>he's finally happy with his appearance because his hair looks good again after growing it out for 2 years >NOW MAKE HIM GET CALLED INTO WORK MULTIPLE TIMES IN A ROW WHILE SLEEP DEPRIVED SO THAT HE MESSES IT UP WHILE TRYING TO FIX IT LATER AND CUTS IT ALL OFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHSHSHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHSHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CANT WIN BOY AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAH *dramatic music from Record of Lodoss War playing*
>make manifestation real >ok now only make it work for small random things and also so you can accidentally turn your life into a living hell because buddhism made you hyperpessimistic and then you ended up manifesting a bedbug infestation because of it that has lasted for 3 years and counting and you can easily manifest random inconsequential things but you cant manifest away one of the worst fucking possible human experiences that is surreal and you had no idea its even possible
>these living beings are gods >ok now make them allowed to choose to enter a world where they forget their true nature before entering and have no idea how to get out and its just economic slavery being attacked by demons being threatened by religions being stuck in a physical body they cant change the appearance of being told their suffering is their karma and also they have no idea how to remember their true nature and they have no idea what happens when they die
>>42396216>he is approaching the stationary woman with a shopping cart>hold it>hold it>hooooooold it>now tell her to start walking forward right in front of him
>>42396216>now make him cross path with the blue subaru with golden rims againOver 20 fucking years now.
