Ugly Bastard Edition>Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dPrevious thread>>247047
Kotonishiki praising Dan's hinkakuhttps://www.tokyo-sports.co.jp/articles/photo/368056
People are saying onosato dropped out because he knew he lost to Dan and didn't want to risk the controversy if he yushod
Horse says to get a gf so you get the sex powerup and make Makuuchi before your knees are dust.
>>248917My knees turned to dust when I was 20 it's been over for me for a long time...
>>248911Kazuma or whatever his name is now isn't going to be as big a deal as some have been trying to imply, he is one of those guys like Onokatsu, Atamifuji, Kinbozan and many others who will rise to his place in the rankings chart well below the top and then stick there unable to progress further. He is a big guy, but he lacks the mobility to be top tier, he'll be one of those guys who maybe occasionally checks into the lower joi for a basho before being sent back to the kiddies' table.
>>248914Is this what it feels like to be the last Samurai?
>>248918Brother if you think that's bad my dad blew his knees out at 14 at a school dance. Granted he was high on PCP at the time and probably going way too hard, but the point stands. He then did it again 4 years later in boot camp. I almost blew mine out in middle school and high school gym. My dad feverishly tried to discourage me from heavy weightlifting that involved my knees, to only do partial squats above parallel without ever testing my maxes. Gee, after I started actually squatting properly, not like he told me, my knee pain went away and they're totally fine. Try that. The Kneesovertoes guy is legit.
>>248917
>>248923Just get a g(b)f, just like Nabatame!
The plot line of sumo this year has just been hilarious, The year started with Horseryu being promoted to yokozuna and then immediately following his promotion this little evil goblin appeared in the top division who keeps on following Horseryu around everywhere publicly humiliating him and preventing him from having any success as a yokozuna.
>>248926Delusional.
>>248843Most likely? The Rikishi Formerly Known As. Outsiders? Basically anyone who's shown they can 12-3 in the last year or two.
Hosh didn't only lose the yusho, he also lost his top ranked tokoyama to retirement.
>>248930Everyone remember to make fun of his hair next basho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-MIsdNZt-UNeat video of Dan's early basho.
>Onosato is about to move down the banzuke for the first time in his career, yielding Y1e to Hoshoryu>Except it wasn't that Hoshoryu beat him, it's that he was injured so couldn't face him the last day>Because of an injury Dan gave himlmaoooo Hosh's life is an endless humiliation ritual loooool
>>248933Just stop posting.
>>248933Keep posting
>>248934Okay>>248935Okay
>>248933Both post and do not post until you're observed
>>248926Just look at that technique. He's like horse, but better.
>>248933Dan didn't injure anyone, Onosato did that to himself, it was his choice to he injured.
This is probably a dumb question, but why does everyone just run away from the ringside after the last fight ends? Not even talking about whatever rikishi were left, even the sitting gyoji just jump up and leave in a hurry before the last guy even picks up the envelopes
>>248946to avoid masses of people. you can see people are using hanamichi to get in the stands, at least in venues outside of kokugikan. Kyushu even had staff standing by the staris leading to hanamichi, holding sings not to enter hanamichi while dohyoiri was in progress for example.
>Roga kyujo for jungyo
>>248949>Mita and Roga, this is how much I care about you>Nabatame go make chanko and make me laugh while I drink myself to sleep while laying on the floor because I'm too fat to get up.
>>248949>have three sekitori>all three get injuredBruh
>>248950I saw a vid of Naruto stable and the white man oyakata was actually in the dohyo for practice getting sweaty and sparring. Never see that from futa
>>248960Futagoyama had some pretty serious injuries when he was active, which is why he retired. So while I don't really disagree with you, he has a legitimate excuse and is more the exception than the rule.
>>248960Tamanoi Oyakata is much more active, you might like his channelwww.youtube.com/watch?v=EaWNIBEVlo8
I don't know why we stopped including this in the OP>Heya Youtube channels:>Futagoyamahttps://www.youtube.com/@futagoyama-sumofood>Isegahamahttps://www.youtube.com/@isegahamabeya>Kisehttps://www.youtube.com/@kisebeya>Tatsunamihttps://www.youtube.com/@tatsunami-beya>Tamanoihttps://www.youtube.com/@sumo-tamanoibeya>Hidenoyamahttps://www.youtube.com/@hidenoyama>Oshimahttps://www.youtube.com/@oshimabeya>Minatohttps://www.youtube.com/@湊部屋どすこいチャンネル>Shikoroyamahttps://www.youtube.com/@shikoroyamabeya>Asakayamahttps://www.youtube.com/@浅香山部屋公式チャンネル>Takasagohttps://www.youtube.com/@TAKASAGOSUMOTEAM高砂部屋
>>248963I remember when Minato beya first started theirs, they were one of the first to try it, but it doesn't seem to have worked out for them
>>248964Unless you have rikishi that people want to see your slop channel ain't going anywhere. Tatsunami has Hosh, Kise has a million sekitori including Ura, Takasago has a million sekitori including Asanoyama, Isegahama has a million sekitori period, and fujos can flick their bean to Mita on Futagoyama. Minato is about as shit as a beya can get.
>>248963Did the musashigawa channel start up yet?
>>248966Oh yeah, it didI almost forgothttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F79x5G9SG8khttps://www.youtube.com/@ALOHA-SUMO-LIFE
>>248965It's a lot of extra effort anyway. Hidenoyama is a good example of a small stable that's doing well, if not as good as futagoyama.
>>248961Futagoyama is an absolute ruin of a man. Koga could drop him 99 times out of 100. I'll be shocked if he lasts another 10 years.
>>248969He struggles to get up on the dohya at bashos. Did he massively fuck his back or something? He moves like he's 75 but he's in his forties
>>248970He's essentially crippled. It's a wonder he isn't in a wheelchair by now, especially after his sepsis two years ago.
>Roga please...get elder stock and take this fucking kabu off me...
>>248970hes a booze hound, thats why he shows up to practice every morning hung over
Futagoyama should've built a small brewery in his stable's basement. Cheap booze for him, and a neat present to give to his fun club and supporters.>captcha: YAYHR
>>248974>koga, umeyama, stop practicing and go work the still
>>248976Imagine the wine you could make from guys as heavy as rikishi crushing the grapes.
>>248965>and fujos can flick their bean to Mita on FutagoyamaThey already were the most successful beya on youtube before Mita joined the stable.
>>248977Tochinoshin needs to hear about this business venture
>>248979>You can literally pick a wine based on the rikishi who crushed the grapes>Rare guest appearance wines are also a thing, including wine from grapes crushed by Yokozuna>There are even rumours of black market wines crushed by the Yokozuna cast out by the JSA
>>248962>>248961tamanoi oyakata suffered a mild stroke due to shoulder and knee injuries so he had to retire. Yeah he has his mawashi on etc, but he is in a very good shape still, unlike futagoyama. However, i dont think we will see Teru in mawashi either..
>>248983I dunno, if K*senosato will don a mawashi and take on Onosato I could see Teru doing the same at some point, even if the fights are just light sparring to show examples.
Futagoyama has some serious injuries and never seemed interested in losing weight which doesnt help those injuries
I'd say thematically they should make Sake.However part of the process makes the workers sweat like motherfuckers, and the rikishi would lose too much water weight.Watch The Birth of Sake documentary, really well done film.
>>248984Teru was barely willing to put the mawashi on during his tenure as a yokozuna
>>248974>Koga, thousand shiko on grapefruits. Fujos want to drink the wine and schlick to pictures of Mita in mawashi>GOCHANDESU
>>248985>never seemed interested in losing weightAlcohol is extremely high calorie, being an alcoholic makes losing weight nearly impossible unless you're one of those broke boozers who get all of their calories from alcohol and can't afford food. At his weight he probably consumes 3000-4000 calories a day of alcohol
>>248979No point if it's not crushed by Georgian wrestlers.If we want that venture to get off the ground we need to promote ssumo in Georgia
According to the latest Chris video, Onosato has pledged to take home 4 titles in 2026 while Hoshoryu has announced he will grab at least one. Really sheds some light on the degree of confidence the yokozuna has in his ability as compared to the yokozuma.
>>248992Arrogant Onosato setting up his supporters for disappointment while the humble Hoshoryu modestly accepts the higher level of competition.
Has there ever been an openly gay sumo?
>>248995Depends on whether you think traps are gay or not.
>>248995FutaGAYyama is the all-gay stable
so why are we not on /sp/? we have a thread that's been up for 5 days now >>>/sp/152076947I think we've come to a point were we can sustain a general there, we have enough posts per day here to survive on /sp/ since this site has slowed down a lot after the hack.
>>248932That video is top tier stuff, the early videos of Dan pre-sekitori put a perspective on his rate of progress. Its interesting that of the 4 bouts Dan lost wearing canvas, all of the ones who beat him have subsequently made it to wearing silk. Himukamaru who beat Dan in the 2024 Osaka sandanme championship match put up a great looking tsupari flurry, one of the best you'll see anywhere. Too bad the video skipped the first Kusano-Dan contest back in makushita, Kusano had Dan figured out even way back then. The Dan vs Dan fight also should've been show Hitoshi & Kotoeiho were the other two who beat Dan in the lower divisions
>>248998Habit I supposeWe always come back here between bashosI kind of like it
>>248995No, that would be dishonorable.
>>248963>The teleporting bit Tatsunami stable did in their latest videos.
>>249001So beautiful boy
>>248965You put some respect on Kitadaichi's name. He's also a funny guy in Tatsunami.
>>249003
https://www.sanspo.com/article/20251128-3PYNK7DQ5VKQJI7NVXNSQITGPM/The French are making a feature length theatrical release movie depicting the life of Aonishiki. Who do you think will play Dan? Sovereignty is slated to play Hoshoryu
>>249007Fuck I forgot about Syunrai just whipping that shit crazy style. I love these dudes.
>>248992Will Hoshoryu be forced to retire when he takes 0 yushos in 2026?
>>249011
>>249011He'll need to to make way for Yokozuna Dan
>>249014Dan needs to get lucky with Onosato being injured or he needs to figure out how to beat Onosato because I can't see him picking up another yusho otherwise.
>>249015He beat Onosato in Kyushu
>>249016Fake news
>>249015He just needs to get more weight on him and figure out how to not just lose to oshizumo.
Why he do the crazy eye all the time?
>>249019FIGHTING SPIRIT
>>249021I'm glad Dan isn't completely ostracized and seems to get on with some of the other wrestlers. I just hope he's not having the 'Hakuho Experience'.
>>249022The Japanese people empathize with him, both countries victim to an evil oppressor committing war crimes and bombing them.
>>249023But the japs were the oppressor. In every single conflict. Ever hear of the rape of nanking?
>>249024Didn't happen + china/korea deserved it.
>>249024>OY VEY MUH rape of nanking!!!!>muh six billion dead chinks!!!!shit that never happened
>>249024the usa destroyed their economy and fuel supply in WW2 to goad them into attacking to give that kike FDR an excuse to join the warthen they murdered countless civilians with the bombsand then forced Japan to write a new feminist constitution at the end of the war, destroyed Japan's economy in the 70's for outcompeting american markets, and have been subverting and erasing Japanese culture and national identity ever since, pushing Japan to become more westernized and take in more immigrants like the west
>>249015>Dan needs to get lucky with Onosato being injuredBoy I've got some news about January
>>249030He'll need at least 2 in a row to be considered for yokozuna, Onosato's not going to be out of commission from a dislocated shoulder for 4 months.
>>249025>>249026>>249027Ywnbaj
>>249022Maybe I'm projecting, but he does come off as a bit acoustic in a lot of the official materials like ceremonies and interviews (even the non NHK kind), the man can't smile to save his life.But then you catch some of those behind the scenes moments and nah it all seems normal. Like how Hosh and Onosato have all the official zuna personalities and then they go to London and just share a street slop hot dog
I don't give a shit about AonishikiI just hope Shishi doesn't get excluded
>>249033Look at the pure unadulterated joy in his eyes.
>>249031>He'll need at least 2 in a row to be considered for yokozuna>at least2 in a row is the max that would be required, not the least
>>249037Please understand, 2 active yokozuna means standards are raised for promoting more
>>249038>Kakuryu only need a playoff loss followed by a yusho when there were two yokozuna>Kisenosato only need a jun followed by a yusho when there were three yokozuna
>>249039Please understand he is a white gaijin we must be sure he is up to par
>>249038no it doesn't, hakkaku was promoted on a 25 over 2 Y+JY same as horseryu was when there were already 2 Ys on the banzuke and Onokuni was promoted with 25 over 2 with no yushos when there were already 3 yokozunas. your knowledge of sumo history and promotion precedents is weak.
>>249041what's the precedent on promoting a slavic devil
>>24904213-2 Y followed by 12-3 Y
>>248998I'd rather be on a niche smaller board with a lower post count than the increase in shit that comes with /sp/
>>248998At this point /sp/ is dead enough that a thread of this speed would be fine outside of a couple specific major events. I mean really it's fucking dead look at the bottom of the catalog.
Now that Dan has become such a high profile success for Ukraine, whats the likelihood that Putin will try to have Dan assassinated? The French movie project is clearly being done as a form of NATO propaganda, so Putin is bound to be concerned about the influence Dan's continued accomplishments would likely have on western morale and backbone. Is Roga sitting out the jungyo "because of an injury" just a lie that he came up with so he has time to facilitate Russian operations in the Japanese sumo community?
>>249011If he keeps runnering up every tournament and being in contention every tournament then no. People act like the guy goes 8-7 and isn't even in the race ever.
>>249051He's solid ozeki material.
>>249051It's embarrassing for him to fail at critical moments like this basho
>>249053Whatever you say. There's literally no point arguing with the Hosh hater crowd.
>>249054He's fine, but if you can't see the humor in the situation then there's no point arguing with you either.
ban mongolians from sumo
>>249056This but non-asians
how come amerimutts aren't dominating sumo since the average american weighs 400lb?
>>249054I like Hosh. I'm just saying it's humiliating for a yokozuna to fail to gatekeep the yusho.
>>249059NFL pays a bazillion times more
>>249051If that keeps on happening then the buildup of frustration will eventually cause him to do something that merits forcing him into retirement. And the longer he goes without a yusho, the harder the JSA will be looking for an excuse
>>249053Ok buddy.
>>249061This, the Hawaiians had this discussion dozens of times and they always come to the same conclusion.
>>249062He'll keep shoving people out of the dohyo after the bout is over and get put on leave by the JSA for mongoloid aggression.
>>249059Even playing football in Japan pays more than sumo.
>>249066>>249064This is the reason hinkaku is important. It's about more than money.
These threads have been pretty fast as of late.
>>249067yeah it's about living in japan banging prime JK fangirl pussy
>>249068I started posting again
>>249069Yeah but you dont say it. Thats not hinkaku.
Alright so I'm totally new to sumo. Where the fuck do I start? Where do I go to get the news? Where can I learn more about it because all I know is big Japanese man runs into other big Japanese man until one goes whee.
>>249072Where do I go to get the news? https://www.youtube.com/@chrissumo69/videos
>>249069*bussyBut don't say that, it's on the DL
>>248932that battle with ryuden starting at about 18:30 is a good one
>>249034I'm more afraid of Shishi getting EXECUTED with how far he's lagging behind.
Shishi is one of the top 50 sumo wrestlers in the world.
>>249050Anon, calm down. It's just Japanese wrestling.
>>249019I miss the psycho stare
>>249078Not really. Top 50 grand sumo. You exclude a lot of talent by making them live in stables and paying them nothing
>>249078Somehow. I swear he's getting worse and not due to injury. It's like every tournament he gets less coordinated.
>>249078>>249081>>249082He beat the current Ozeki almost a year ago.
Amazing Shishi can accomplish what Horse can't
in a few years we're going to have so much footage of Dan beating Hosh that it'll be like an hour long reel of nonstop pwnage
>>249084A horse was meant to be ridden, not to ride.
>>249083Yeah. I'd like to see him do that now. That's literally my point. I don't think it's physical, he's got good enough genetics to have gotten to the top division. I think it's mental. I think he's psyching himself out like Hosh did a lot.
>>249072https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cN9snHWCRA
>>249052it's not like it was him who decided to be promoted, right?
>>249089JSA made a bad decision and should have just held by their standards and let there be no yokozuna as long as it takes if there are no truly yokozuna material rikishi.
>>249009They will just pick a random nog from the street and put a wig on him
>>249027>NOOO I MUST BE ALLOWED TO RAPE AND KILL THESE COUNTRIES IT'S YOUR FAULT AMERICA I DIDN'T DO NUFFINLiteral nigge behaviour
>>249092But enough about the american military that rape and assault Japanese citizens daily.
>>249093hey everyone get a load of this "male feminist"
>>249093>NOOO YOU MUST ATONE DAILY FOR FIFTY YEARS BECAUSE SOME BLACKIE MARINE RAPED AND KILLED A WOMAN IN OKINAWA FOREVER AGO!!!no one gives a shit nip, we only put up with your autism so you leave us alone as we have military bases on your lands
>>249095I'm so happy america is being jeeted. Death to america.
apparently this is how you spell Dan in japanese: 安青錦安 = D青 = A錦 = Namazing how you can spontaneously learn to speak japanese just by watching sumo
>>249096I already told you no one gives a shit
There are seriously people who'd look at this and call Hoshoryu an underperforming Yokozuna. Both 'zuna have complete 3 basho at the rank, and Hosh has 37 wins while Onosato only has 35.
>>249033Fuji leaning into the shot cracks me up every time.
>>249072>Where the fuck do I start?The key word is "basho", meaning a tournament. Type it into youtube. Another key word is "yusho", meaning a tournament win.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_yokozunaType some of the more recent yokozuna plus yusho or basho. Watch excellence. Over time you'll pick up random stories and tidbits. My favourite is Asanoyama getting punished for breaking his stable's Covid quarantine go to slay pussy in a hostess bar. He's back in the top division next basho lmao
My advice to Dan on 2026
>>249072The NHK channel has a 30 minute video with all the top division matches (21 matches) every day of a basho (tournament) those get removed after a few weeks so if you want to watch the most recent basho's you should do it sooner rather than later.Tournaments happen every 2 months and run for 15 days straight, during a tournament we will have a rather active thread at /sp/ off basho we just hibernate here sharing news.Once those highlight videos from NHK aren't enough we can move further
Can Kotozakura achieve better results or has he plateaued in his career?
>>249104He broke Onosato's shoulder a week ago. We're only just starting to see him hit his physical peak.
>>249103Me talking to Sadogatake-oyakata.
>>249102Vertical or horizontal?
Is Hakuho the anti-christ of sumo with his big sumo bash idea? Do you think western influence could taint sumo?
>>249107i save that image to use it as a passive aggressive kys meme but then i realized it also applied hereGO DAN GO
Ah, I see we've reached that stage of mental illness already
>>249109>western influencenot a chance he gets involved in any way with western ideas, Hakuho might have been known for his lack of hinkaku, but I doubt he's retarded enough to follow western sport practices and culture, like an lgbt rainbow mawashi and doing shinko for niggers lives matter.
>>249120Hakuho's ego won't permit him to sit things out or remain on the sidelines. The JSA is conservative, so Hakuho will become more and more progressive. He's already started actively promoting women's amasumo, and now his focus is on international sumo - is official gay pride support or active support for starving Africans really that far off?
>>249120He's literally been describing wanting to westernize sumo so it can have multiple international competitions and tours and get into the Olympics.
>>249099These people don't know what the fuck they are talking about and thank that consistently posting their opinions as fact will change the narrative.
>>249124If you don't want women's sumo, you're the gay.
>>249131I only want women's sumo if they wear no more than the men do.
>>249101Chad shit
>>249131>>249132Fuck that. Even simps as pathetic as you don't actually want to see that shit, you're just desperately, disgustingly horny and lonely.Go jerk off, you sad sacks.
>>249135If that's what I wanted to see then there's plenty of actual porn with that premise that I could just watch instead. If Hakuho wants to support womens sumo then they should compete as the men do.
>>249057This but non-Japanese.>>249009>>249109This is where sumo dies, sad.>>249095>NOOO EUROPEANS MUST ATONE DAILY FOR FIFTY YEARS BECAUSE SOME MOUSTACHE MAN RAPED AND KILLED A JEWESS IN A DUTCH ATTIC FOREVER AGO!!!>NOOO JAPS MUST ATONE DAILY FOR FIFTY YEARS BECAUSE WE LET SOME JAP RAPE AND KILL A MILITARY BASE FOREVER AGO!!!no one gives a shit yank
Dan's (stall) room at Ajigawa stables
>>249139All a man truly needs.
>>249139What's the rank that earns you your own room privileges?
>>249016
>>249142That lady has doodoo in her teeth
Most wins in makuuchi since debut, Dan tied Onosato for the most wins in his first 5 bashoes, surpassing Taiho's record of 53. 11 or more in January will give Dan the record for most in his first year
https://youtu.be/QYsp6fUyhawAonishiki's theme song
>>249141Juryo and above
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRi6GBF5zB0Aonishiki's fanboy
>>249123wtf is Tobizaru scared of him?
>>249123Tobi had no chance.
>>249149Fucking adoring danfag, this was supposed to be the /kazuma/ general.
>>248996What?
The guy from the Honda commercials has a new interview with Danhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRCw3gBdnjo
>>249152nice cameltoe
>>249139
>>249163Women hate how little it takes for us to be truly happy.
>>249164All it really takes is a bed, basic furniture, some basic entertainment, and a couple special prizes and yusho awards from grand sumo.
>>249165Don't forget a meager 10,000 calorie stew daily.
>>249165>>249166And chanko.
>>249166I thought it was rice and beer that really bulked them up. When you see them eating the non-rice components of meals in beyaslop it's not like they're shovelling mountains down. Hakuho said he forced himself to eat 6 bowls of rice with every meal. The insulin spike from carbohydrate intake does crazy things to your body.
>>249152Those quads are impressive, all that work he does with the sled really pays off
>>249020Gives me K.Rool vibes
>>249103This is my favorite sumo related clip
>>249170Donkey Kong >>249019vsK. Rool >>249020>>249171For me, it's when he sits down.
>>249150>is Tobizaru scared of him?Yes.
>>249175Extremely poor hinkaku.
Tobizaru is a bully
>>249172For me, it's when Zak looks behind him to watch.
>>249139comfy
anyone know how I can donwload nattotube's stuff with something like yt-dlp to archive it?
>>249188nvm figured it out
>>249189pmed you the fix
>>249188sent ;)
>>249176Tobi didn't want to take a forearm to his jaw at the tachiai from the boss.
>>249194used "Stream Recorder - HLS & m3u8 Video Downloader" extension in google chrome
>Watch Tatsuslop>Syunrai says umaI'm fucking done.
>>249208
>>249203Me when I have to pretend that she's the "mommy" in the relationship in bed.
If we were wrestling I would SLAP you in the face
You will be seeing the French film about Aonishki, right?
Eventually Tom will reach Ozeki and win two back to back bashos and become 'zuna at age 48. Mark my words
>>249135Fag
>>249135I like women's versions of combat sports actually. I tend to find them more impressive.Unfortunately female sumo is just like amateur sumo, which isn't sumo to me.
>>249226Not possible, he fights like Ichinojo used to, he gives up and back out the right the instant it looks like he is about to be in danger of taking a hard fall off the dohyo. Tom doesn't fight out tough bouts, he isn't aiming to win close matches, he wants to make KK by winning the matches that go well for him and surviving the losses intact.
>>249152Correct, he needs a slavic wife who can take a beating after he loses a yusho, not one of them Jap dolls who weigh 80lbs.
>>249109Evil taint such as basic safety practices and removal of retardation like "let a guy just die on the dohyo because we can't let the female paramedic up there"
>>249235She wasn't a paramedic, just some random bitch, you complete and utterly fucking faggot.
>>249236Irrelevant to the statement unless you can prove the statement itself wrong and not some example in your head
>>249235Both of those were addressed by the JSA. The idea they need Hakuho to do it is asinine.
>>249109hopefully not, I've stumbled upon a "sumo world championship" video from a sensei seth guy and it was the lamest most anemic sumo I've ever seen
>>249237Nobody gives a fuck. Go kill yourself, faggot.
>>249235rather die than allow western values like feminism, gay rights, and jeet/groid worship to infest Japan. I despise western culture.
>>249241And the 2025 Biggest Cuckold of the Year Award goes to... Anonymous!
>>249236They were nurses.
>>249243That whole meme about women can go on the dohyo because they bleed is badly misinterpreted. When the bitch went up there someone should've beaten her head in for doing it, if they'd done that then everyone would realize what the meme meant and no woman who didn't have a death wish would ever try it again
>>249249see, posting incel garbage like this is part of the reason why no woman will ever fuck you
>>249249
>>249250It isn't new, unique, or unusual for men to despise women and seek out hobbies and interests that formally or informally exclude them. If Anon wants to fuck, he can rent a woman briefly and then get back to his ordinary life. Why does it bother you so much that some men don't focus their entire lives on trying to appeal to women?
any of you fellas make chanko? i've started doing it pretty often since it got cold out, its pretty much macro perfection, high volume and a real treat when it comes to all the different options for textures and flavors
>>249252>It isn't new, unique, or unusual for men to despise womenFaggot.
>>249250r/sumo is that way, kind stranger.
(You)(You)(You)Enough with the internet tough guy posting Frank, /xs/ is chill, save it for the basho threads
Chill my ass you faggot fuckNobody wants you or your stupid shit here Pack it the fuck up and go "chill" on reddit where you belongFuck you and fuck women
>>249273Meds, Frank. We've talked about this
>>249170>>249172Tobizaru is diddy, obviously. Abi is Lanky (a fuckign disgrace)
>>249253I made bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee earlier. Does that count?
Good Chris video today, hilarious display of anger from Chris over Dan being both White and successful in sumo. Pic is Chris's face when Dan is successful in sumo and White concurrently
Apparently Dan is a fan of the show and been watching since the 1st episode
Dan visited "Steak 88" a well known, long established Okinawa eatery.
>>249283You're doing it wrong. Chris is meant to have the schizo takes, and we mock him for it.
>>249287>steak 88>ukrainianhmmmm
>>249288Nothing is going to top the 10 minute long speech he wrote for Hakuho before his final fight with Teru.
4 years since the last zensho.
>>249291We will get a Zensho in 2026 but it will not come from Onosato, Hoshryu, or Aonishiki
>>249292oho (forma de taiho)
>>249292Atamifuji (forma 250kg)
>>249291We had an almost 8 year gap between Takanohana's last zensho and Asashoryu's first (09.1996 to 01.2004) so im not too worried about it
>>249292Asanoyama (after he climbs back to Juryo in November)
>>249273Holy based Frank.>>249283>I would hope the overall theme is one of integration>not white guy takes down the Japaneselmao yeah Chris (((Gould))), we want the japs to integrate with and be taken down by mongs and people like the upcoming "Japanese sensation" Ikazuchido, not icky white guys.>>249292Kazuma (forma ogro de Japón)
>>249287>eats the mark steakDid he get the mark jacket?
>STABLE YOUTUBE BAD CUZ THEY DON'T SHOW WHEN LOW RANK RIKISHI GET COMPOUND FRACTURES OR PERFORMANCE ANXIETY BASED DEPRESSION>NOT LIKE *MY* AWESOME CHANNEL
>>249311Stable youtube but it's the rikishi doing Jackass style stunts.
Thoughts on tiktok to promote sumo?
>>249313They can do whatever they want, but the second I see actual bouts in hyper cropped vertical format I want to commit war crimes.
>>249313smartphones were a mistake
>>249313Gay, sumo should not be promoted at all, especially not in retard goyslop form.二子山部屋 sumo food channel gets a pass because futagoyslop is good slop.
>>249316it isn't good, its a stupid gay soap opera and you're a fag for watching it. at least the tiktik shit depicts actual matches instead of "boys cooking together"
>>249317why would i subject myself to watching any content in a vertical cropped format?
>>249317>>249320soulless vertical edited tiktok content farm aimed at zoomers to consume 10 bouts in a minute vs soulful horizontal boys cooking together
>>249320this one is at least horizontal edits, unlike the JSA's vertical matches of the day on instagram
>>249314https://www.youtube.com/shorts/d3fqlHmCAqAheheheheheheh
>>249334You were warned.
>>249317>gay soap operaIt is absolutely nothing like a soap opera, are you 12?
All the futagoy videos being uploaded are from right before the basho. They keep talking about how great mita is. Surprised they still uploaded all that everything considered
>>249249how is this even handled for men? If bleeding makes you impure or whatever, woiuldn't a man with a cut be impure? Did Ryuden have to cleanse himself after bleeding on the dohyo for like 8 days in a row
>>249349Period blood specifically is impure.
Dan visited the Nagasaki atom bomb memorial.
>>249351Why is horse also there?
Futagoyama said this to Koga and banned him from shaving his eyebrows.
>>249356
>>249354AOnishiki needed a steed, obviously.
>>2493042026 is going to be Makuuchi debutante after Makuuchi debutante going zensho.>Asahakuryu in January>Fujiryoga in Marchy>Kazuma in May
>>249354Humiliation Ritual.
>>249317>actual matches
>>249361Pretty dangerous desu, a bit further back and he could've cracked the back of his head on the edge of the wooden platform.
>>249362ahahahahah this is why you'll never reach the same heights as kogod you wimp
>>249360good picbambs seething
>>249362Better than cracking your head on Nobehara's balls.
>>249363Reminder that Koga is bigger and stronger than the majority of men on the planet, and fully capable of demolishing any of the Anons here in this thread. None of the people mocking him online could endure a single day of Koga's training.
>>249367I could easily beat Koga (forma ceja partida). Defeating Koga (forma ceja completa) would be another matter entirely... And forget about facing Koga (forma Oscura)
Imagine the regrets of all the stable masters who went out and got a mong for their one foreigner and now that have some mid crap mong in their stable who will probably never even yusho or make sanyaku and they're stuck with him for another decade or more and then Dan comes along and makes ozeki overnight. They must all be thinking to themselves "What a terrible mistake I made going for a mong, what was I even thinking?!?!? I should've gotten a White!!! Everyone knows Whites are the best"
> I should've gotten a White!!! Everyone knows Whites are the best
>>249370Be honest: you too would put a guy named TOTH ATTILA in your stable.
>>249313ok, these edits go hardyes I was a toddler during 9/11
>>249356Based Futagoyama, shaving it is to ruin a piece of art, like drawing a moustache on Mona Lisa.
Yokozuna Aonishiki, Unryu or Shiranui?
>>249396Usually stays the same within ichimon, right?
>>249397ah right, Asahifuji did shiranui style and he was Aminishiki's stablemaster
>>249396Lets not get ahead of ourselves
>>249403What do you expectWhen he's sticking his tongue up Aonishiki's asshole, there's nowhere to go but further in
>>249403with all of his accomplishments, if he doesnt make Yokozuna it will be the worst choke in sumo history
>>249407k
>>249407holy fucking retard
Kakuryu's rope promotion must've been so hype. Guy went 14-1 through a competing Hakuho and Harumafuji. It would certainly be something else if Dan could replicate that.
>>249397Dan will do his own style that involves his left arm being forwards to represent his ever-present threat of uchimuso.
Yokozuna Shishi, do they let him do his entrance with twerking and claw grip?
>shirozuna
The All Japan amateur yokozuna title was taken by freshman Samejima Akira. Freshmen never win, kid is either very good, very lucky or lying about his age
What percentage of makuuchi you think is taking PEDs? I watched a Chris Sumo vid where he mentioned Hosh was eating "secret soup" with ingredients flown in from Mongolia. Like c'mon man seriously? "Secret soup"?
>>249425I would expect all of them to, otherwise they don't have enough commitment to sumo. It's not illegal in Japan and not against JSA regulations, so there's no reason not to use them to build up their bodies properly.
>>249425Yes a lot of them take PEDS as >>249426 said.The secret soup is probably just soup with ingredients not common in japan.
>>249427>ingredients not common in Japan.mongs like to eat a lot of horse milk, they have all sorts of myths about "horse milk make boy strong"
>>249429Cow milk is healthier than horse milk, including having more protein, but horse milk is easier to digest for people with lactose intolerance, and both Japan and Mongolia have very high rates of lactose intolerance.
>>249425>>249426>>249427if taking them becomes common enough then everyone is effectively starting at the same level and still have to compete and prove themselves on their own ability and unique physiology. it would only be a problem if a small number of people were taking them and gaining an advantage that the rest couldn't use or beati for one support this pursuit to find the limits of mankind. let us create the most powerful combination of flesh and technology that we can
>>249436Pretty much, the only people shit outta luck are the toriteki, and sekitori debutantes before they can afford it.
Are the anti-Whites of /sumo/ still seething with rage, anger and frustration over Dan's success or have they moved on to the acceptance phase yet?
>>249436I get this argument and I don't disagree with it. I only brought it up because how fucking obvious can Hosh be that he's possibly taking PED's by calling one of his meals a "secret soup"? Like yeah, it might be an open secret in sumo but he could at least have some subtlety so that he doesn't fuck it up for everybody
>>249446The JSA and nip general public don't give a shit.
>>249447Really makes you wonder what drugs Onosato is on the way he makes those schizo faces to himself when he is sitting ringside before bouts.
>>249448What drugs resulted in your face?
>>249351
>>249443based on the crowd reactions, the fans all seem to be cheering him on and are enjoying his success and tenacious style of sumo. when he wins, they all smile. you can tell a lot about how the fans feel about a wrestler watching their facial expressions at the moment of victory
Now that the year has passed, it's time to update the official sumo power rankings, with all the upheaval and intais this past year.SS: Nodowa debilidadS: Ucrania azulC: Estilo bukkake frio
>>249448Has to be a psychedelic right?
>>249452I don't speak latrino
>>249459Is this normal reporting in Japan?
>>249459kek.The Japanese love him.
>>249459>sumo wrestler, mongolian :(>sumo wrestler, whitey :O
>>249418You could get away with twerking during the foot sliding.
futagoyama: get me a strong white rikishitalent scouts: okay we got you a russianthe russian:
>January 2014>T*runofuji loses out on the Juryo yusho to fucking Chiyomarulmaooooo
For me its Nobehara's sister.
>>249462Horses belong on the steppe, not the dohyo
>>249420>haro I am not Hokuseiho zeki, he bad person, I honoraburu
Anyone working on the updated tier list to finish off 2025? Ive got some ideas floating like splitting Oho into Taiho Jr (Sanyaku) in F tier and Taiho Jr (Maegashira) in S tier. Obviously Dan needs to be there, probably as Taiho Reincarnated. Miyabiyama could be added in F tier with him being bald and being called something like a broken spirit skinhead. Its a little early but Kazuma and Fujiryoga earned their place aswell.
>>249482There's no need to give him a nickname. Dan is Dan, love him or hate him.
>>249482Put in something about aonishikis ugly hairy poop stain Im pretty sure Zak only lost because he didnt want to touch it
I think last basho may be been the start of Koga-kuns juryo run. He ended with 3 wins in a row to KK and is looking bigger...I am ready to believe.
IWANTMYSCANDAL
>>249462das rite
>>249459No more attention than they gave Kotoshoho during his fluke win
>>249499where do you think he is right now?
>>249509Japan, likely.
New ep of Arasho beya comics has arrived https://arashio.net/comics/p19.html
Dan visits Okinawa https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PddZLH3bxtk
>>249514>Auto dubHoly shit Aonishki is a stable master now
>>2494922026 will be the year of Koga, believe it.
>>249513That really doesn't look like 'haru at all
>>249519Yes it does.
>>249523they should do a sumo basho on the beach sometime. Have some girls in bikinis splashing in the beach behind them, have the gyojis get pushed into the waves
>>249524
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpl4DdvdL7c
>>249482Dan needs to be there as the Ghost of Kiev.
>>249528OY VEY
>>249532>KOGA I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT IT DOWN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UX6Z6DwCuQLook how hard they're scrubbing the kitchen. Imagine if Futagoyama or Tatsunami ever bothered doing this.
>>249534thats why futa and tatsu have sekitori, while oshima has 0.
>>249539>futa >sekitoriHe has ONE mediocre eternal 7-8/8-7 mid maegashira who, at least based on the videos, does his own thing.
>>249540mita is in juryou so that's +1 and nabatame probably fights his way back up again.
>>249536>>249537FutaGOYama could never
>>249541Mita went 0-15, he's dropping to makushita and he probably needs to sit out another basho or two
>>249540Lots of stables don't have anyone in makuuchi at all. Futagoyama is, at worst, a mid-level stable.
>>249536>>249537>>249543Feels good being a futagoy, best stable would never send their men to some dusty terrorist shithole to touch stone.
>>249540It's extremely disingenuous to say that Futagoyama doesn't have three sekitori capable rikishi.
>>249559You mean four right?
>>249560No.
>>249559image your stable has three sekitori capable rikishi, but only one sekitori. there must be something deeply wrong with that stable
>>249566Rikishi getting injured doesn't mean the stablemaster is doing anything wrong, it's just unfortunate. It was easy to see just how driven Mita was, and that drive is what pushed his knee over the edge. If anything Futagoyama is a great stablemaster for cultivating such drive in his sekitori. If you want to take jabs at an oyakata take them at whoever the hell is in charge of lethargic looking fucks like Shonannoumi or Oshoma. Or hell, even Sadogatake for how lame Zak and Kotosh*ho have been lately.
>>249559If they're not a sekitori then they're not capable, simple as
>>249568Well Mita is currently a sekitori so shut up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B_5p_FiANQ&t=220sSince you seem to hate Futagoyama so much for some reason, here's him being toyed with by Akebono.
>>249570>Akebono>horrible with money, never was a oyakata>had to go to kickboxing to embarrass himself for money>deadFuta won
>>249514>>249515wtf stablemasters compete in tournaments nowWho is the most powerful stablemaster?
>>249577SOVL.
Mitakeumi went to the beach
>>249420>kid is either very good, very lucky or lying about his ageSo your saying that in reality he's a different Jima?
How come horseryu is incapable of winning real sumo basho but when a totally fake fixed tournament comes around like that play acting one in London then he wins? But in real competitions he always loses, why is that? Why can't he even win in a real tournament? Is it because he sucks?
>>249582He lacks fighting spirit.
>>249582Deep down he himself knows that he will always be an Ozeki and never a Yokozuna.
>>249580god what a jolly lad
>>249582Of course they planned their rushed yokozuna to win the fake tournament and show he's the strongest as good PR for the gaijin.Spoiler alert: muh Ukrainian refugee Aonishiki will """win""" the Paristan circus event next year, Horseryu will lay defeated like the horse in the image and everyone will clap.
Who will be the next to zensho?Onosato & Zak have already put up 14-1s and show that they're nearly capable of a Z if conditions are favorable. Dan is clearly a rising power and seems like his abilities may be rapidly rising to the level needed to go 15-0. Kusano has proved himself capable of beating Dan & Onosato, who are the two biggest stumbling blocks on the banzuke.Or will it be someone else? Maybe that guy who won juryo, he seemed pretty strong
>>249596Onosato will one day get it together, the others I feel have too many bad matchups.
>>249596Even Teru only managed one, and his strongest opponent on those depleted banzukes was his own knees. We're not getting one for multiple years.
>>249596I've already figured Onosato out. He's never getting a zensho if I can face him in the dohyo.
>>249596Onosato or Hoshoryu is the easy answer, but Hosh needs to find an answer to Dan.
>>249609>HoshoryuAAHGHAHHAGAGAGAGAHGAHGAHGAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GOOD ONE BRO
Nephew has only really gotten better over time desu. Considering he's only 26 we're in for another 5+ great years of excellent sumo from him. He gets my vote as most exciting rikishi of 2025.>Hoshoryu>Dan>OnosatoIn that order.
>>249611Hosh is the most exciting of the three but kinda for the wrong reasons. He's exciting BECAUSE he's seemingly more beatable. You go into each bout knowing there's a real chance he'll lose a in a fair fight. He's exciting BECAUSE he's not as dominant as Onosato. He's not going to run away with a yusho so it's always a tight race. That lack of dominance is why for the past year, playoffs or yusho determining bouts usually involve him. Weirdly, the fact that he's not as good as Onosato makes him more compelling to watch than Onosato.
>>249613>He's exciting BECAUSE he's not as dominant as OnosatoHosh's average wins per basho as a Yokozuna is higher than Onosato's but you do you I guess.
>>249614Retard. You forgot your caveat.
lmao, are they for real... who cares
>>249630They got you to post about it, and you didn't even get paid. How does it feel to be used?
>>249630Humiliation ritual
Mods, why did you remove my post? Is there something you want to tell us?
>>249635the reason why there hasnt been an euro yokozuna yet, the shinto gods werent pleased
>>249630>pay to hear how a makushitter almost redeemed the gift card and did the needfulThe absolute state of Tatsunami.>>249635Hit to close to home, oy vey!!!!!
>>249559Obviously Roga, Mita, and Nabatame.But I think Nobehare still has it in him to at least touch Juryo once and Wakamiyabi is clawing his way up although it will be a few years before he makes it if he makes it.
>>249611no MK in 3 years as sanyaku outside of 2 kyujos as yokozuna is really good
>>249644Its ozeki good but not yokozuna good
>>249644Don't bother arguing with these people.
>>249645Five straight basho with 12+ wins when not kyujo isn't remotely ozeki level.
>>249641NOOBehare has been sucking ass since he when kyujo. He better start healing on the dohyo or he will be back to cleaning toilets with Koga pretty soon.
FutaGOYama needs a new sekitori hopeful
Really wish he'd let someone use his old shikona.
Hoshoryu's winrate this year has actually been very average even when considering the kyujos.The average Zuna winrate is around 73% and he's at 72%.
>>249652Hosh is at 82.6% as zuna.>uhhh but if we just count when he was injured-Then you'd be gay.
>>249655The Zuna average I gave also counts injuries so it would be retarded to not count it when comparing.I don't know why you even have a problem with it, average zuna performance is nothing to be mad about.
>>249648Then show me two consecutive yushos. That's the yokozuna level.
>>249648>yet another lazy mong absentee zuna playing the kyujo card to try and explain away losseswhy do third worlders all seem to have so much difficulty showing up for work consistently
>>249655>horse's winning percentage is excellent if you don't count losses
>>249658Yokozuna level is whatever the YDC deems it to be.
>>249658Since the invention of the yusho in 1906, 52 yokozuna made their debuts, not counting the 2 yokozuna who already existed. Only 34 of them won back-to-back yusho ever, including while they were yokozuna.
>>249663>Only 2/3 of yokozuna won 2 in a rowIs this supposed to make Horseshit look better?
>>249664I'm saying that's not yokozuna level if 20 yokozuna since the invention of the yusho haven't done it.
I'm right and the YDC is wrong
>>249668Maybe you should be the next YDC
Yokozuna should be determined solely by Elo rating. Any yokozuna who falls below the cutoff is forced to retire. Injury absences count as losses. No exceptions.
Hosh wins 100% of the matches that he wins, honestly that makes him a great 'Zuna.
Jungyo has started and since Onosato is sitting it out, Horseryu has to cope with the daily humiliation ritual of showing up to the tour stop and regardless his status as a yokozuna, still being the second most popular guy in the room after Dan. Furthermore all jungyo events are also attendeded by JSA committee members, so Horseryu knows that lack of yokozuna level aura is being observed by his bosses and there is nothing he can do about it. Really makes you wonder if he is starting to regret all those hours wasted at Tatusnami morning practice standing around and doing nothing when he could've been using his time wisely to get himself into good enough shame to win some cups. By now its too late for him to fix the problem since Dan trains like a demon every day, even if Horseryu would start to put in a decent effort he would still never catch up to Dan.
>>249670? post ELO
Your obsession was weird a couple basho ago. Now it's embarrassing.
>>249674People are making jokes anon, they keep making them because others get mad at it instead of having fun along with them.
>>249677If you think this fag is joking about this and not taking his obsession seriously, then you haven't been on 4chan long enough
>>249678Ok I tried to help, have fun anon.
>>249677At a certain point that is what I believed as well.But it's far worse than that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0__Dob-eJgo>look at my prize white gaijin
>>249663>>249666Disingenous comparison since you're including yokozunas competing in eras before 15 day tournaments and 6 basho a year were established, not to mention the post-Futahaguro stricter promotion standards.
>>249683>not to mention the post-Futahaguro stricter promotion standards.It took Kakuryu 4 years before he finally won back-to-back. Before that he spent more time injured than as a yusho contender, as yokozuna. Hoshoryu's first year as yokozuna has gone much better than Kakuryu's.And that's not even bringing up Kisenosato, who did win back-to-back, but completely fell apart immediately after.
>>249684Everyone hates horseshit you need to get over it. He lacks fighting spirit, he has no hinkaku, he has resting bitch face and he doesn't win yushos.
>>249684So 0 yokozunas once you finally do an apples-to-apples comparison, got it.
Hoshoryu looks like a nice guy outside of sumo but judging him in sumo I don't like him and he would be much better as an ozeki.
>>249682Most expressive I've seen this white gaijin be in a while, even if by accident
>>249689He looks so smug.
>>249690Can you blame him?
>>249686Ok buddy
>>249689>>249682I thought he was doing a good job of not showing emotions, should he be?
>>249697Showing emotion is poor hinkaku.
is he any good?
>>249691Yes since he only won by default
Oyakata Channel special feature on Danhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt-evXXzb5o
>>249700Yeah he's pretty good
>>249700He's good, but he also had a good run this basho. Not convinced he's the next Abi
>>249672How mad will Horse be when he fails to beat Dan again.Just how mad will he be.Imagine.
>>249700Generic maegashitter until he proves otherwise. Hasn't even hit lower sanyaku yet and probably won't with 11 wins from M8, which means he's less accomplished than half the top division.
>>249710bottom left horse
Anyone talking down Hoshoryu is just a troll. I presume all the filtered posts in here contain the word "horse".
>>249716>so assmad about criticism of your mongoloid shitter you actually wordfiltered an animal
The fuck is up with the back of Hosh's legs and his ass? I saw a vid of the first stop of the tour and Hosh's legs from the back look terrible. Is that cellulitis or just body acne?
How do I cope with the fact that Hoshoryu will never feed me a hotdog?
Reminder that a victory over the grandson of Yokozuna Taiho earned Hoshoryu his rope.Reminder that a victory over the grandson of Yokozuna Kotozakura earned Onosato his rope.>The baton has been passed
made some chanko-esque slopdidnt feel like making the meatballs so did some leftover roast pork and sliced beef for protein
>horse dominating on tour againNot looking good, Horsisters.
>>249725Not even Koga would eat that
Jesus Christ those Aoiyama tits on the new ukrop kid on Schriszoids video
>>249728Big Dan reincarnation, as it was foretoldThere must always be a Bid Dan, Dan and a Dan Jr.
>>249726I meanThis is what they promoted him for
>>249725I'd eat it over rice.
>>249726i hope he's giving dan a yokozuna treat lol
>>249682>mfw play off vs Hoshoryu in January
>>249752I can't believe Onosato got a joint infection from his dislocated shoulder and fucking died...
>>249753No what actually happened was he slipped on a banana peel nobody noticed on day 14 as he was getting off the dohyo. What great misfortune
>horseSHITryu lost four matches in a row to gonoyamadude keep on raising the bar for how embarrassingly awful a yokozuna can behe already got destroyed twice in a row in actual basho competition by a noob shin sekiwake
I've filtered "shitryu" and "horse". Finally I can have some real sumo discussions!
>>249760you seem upset
>>249757Those matches are practice and training, Horse is trying out-push Gonoyama, the best pusher. Yes he can easily sidestep, grab the belt nd throw him, but he's TRAINING to be able to deal with Onosato and Aonishki.
Reckon I could handle Onosato in a bout while his shoulder is injured.
>horseryu: hmmm I need to do some practice bouts to make it look like I'm trying hard to win yushos, lets see who should I pick to train with…should I pick someone good or should I pick shitters who I know I can beat? hmmmm, tough decision… I pick shitters I know I can beat! give me the M13, the rookie and the guy who just went 4-11. and then he still lost anyway lolololol
>>249766practice bouts?>watch youtube stable videos of rikishi training>every time it's Hoshoryu standing around watching everyone else train
>>249760lmao gayThough there really needs to be an /equine/ general on /an/ where both lovers and haters of Le Cheval can do their bickering. And danfags should go make a /dan/ general on /lgbt/ already. Then we can have some real sumo discussions.
>yokozuma
They should invite fans in to take part in between basho training sessions so that one anon can prove whether or not he can take Onosato.
>>249773Onosato isn't in the jungyo, he is skipping the next basho too, he decided that he is taking a break from sumo because Dan kicked his ass too hard last time they fought.
>>249704https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2025/12/04/articles/20251204s00005000308000c.htmlSponichi did an article about that video, I guess they consider it pretty important, I can't remember ever seeing them publish an article about any Oyakata Channel videos before or even any other youtube videos at all.
>>249770The /xs/ sumo thread is koga territory kid.
Did someone ever get their mawashi pulled off live on camera?
>>249770I support this proposal.
WENZ BANZUKKY
>>249787>the next big thing>Hokuseiho 2.0>Chiyonofuji Jr>gigalard
>>249798The next Big Thing is Fujiryoga and/or Kazuma.
>>249787>Born too late to explore the earth>Born too early to explore the stars>Born just in time to witness THIS
>>249800>inb4 guy gets his both ACL torn in makushita and becomes eternal maegashitter
Banzuke's gonna look great with two Ozeki. Y1w won't have to look like a bitch with an O on his rank, and everything will be nice and symmetrical.
>Onosato56 wins in 5 Makuuchi basho to make Ozeki>Dan56 wins in 5 Makuuchi basho to make OzekiIt took Hakuho two years to make Ozeki.
>>249804How many wins did it took Horse to get Ozeki?
>>249781Based.
>>249803>y1e - a horseclown banzuke
>>249811>Fat Futagoyama>the Hawaiigger
>>249818That's Musashigawa and Konishiki
The days I wake up and theres a new Chris video are good days, I wake & make my coffee and sit down and drink it and watch the Chris video and everything is right in world, its perfect bliss.vsThe days I wake up and theres no Chris video, I'm sitting there drinking it anxiously, wondering if theres ever even going to be another Chris video, wondering if Chris is OK, maybe he got assassinated by a Yakuza or died in an earthquake or deported for accusing Japs of anti-mongolian bias. Those days are all uncertainty, theres no calm or comfort
>>249819Please excuse the newfag, he must shitpost using his limited knowledge. He can't help himself.
>>249819He was right about the latter.
>>249819>>249824>"Heh, HORSEryu">ACKTHUALLY It's Yokozuna Hoshoryu 8^)BI was breaking balls, can we have some fun OVA HERE?!
>>249826Stop posting, anytime.
y everyone h8 itchy so bad?
I am FutaGoy, AMA
>>249829I like IchiyamamotoBut I usually like his opponents a bit moreThats how it is
>>249829I am an ichiyamamoto fan even though he is in a gay situationship with wakatakakoga.
I vote Ichiyamamoto for least impressive physique in Makuuchi. Just looks like a skinnyfat guy who found himself in a mawashi.
aminishiki and miyabiyama, today's shinpans/oyakatas, while tamawashi is still a rikishi lol.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-ywc2jLIIQ
>>249842>He looks the same as he does now just not as heavyHe really is the Ageless One.
>>249838Considering he did sumo in Uni but went on to be a civil servant working an office job. He had to get special approval by the JSA to join as he was 23 at the time he decided to go pro.He's just a dude.
>>249811me in the back taking a hard earned nap after crushing 16 of my 20pc nuggets
https://youtu.be/BNZr4Oeuyrw?si=TxRvIsQbEvwc53OE&t=88Musashimaru was a monster.
>>249836it's a meme you dip
>>249848Stop using the word "meme" in place of "joke". And stop thinking you're funny.
>>249849
>>249847the good old days when hiro actually produced content
>>249848What gives you the confidence to assume they aren’t boning?
>>249847Imagine how low his IQ is holy shit.
>>249839Nice floor, dude.
Hopefully once Dan becomes the first white yokozuna, Japan will get more westernized and allow women in the dohyo.
>>249857As what, fluffers?
>>249858Just to be allowed to step into the dohyo for anything like medical care or presenting prizes. Hopefully a female sumo league as well because Japan sucks at representation.
>>249859Women will be allowed in the dohyo for non-competing purposes the moment that stuck up faggot Hokutoumi retires and gives the position of Chairman to based Kaio.
>>249860Hopefully soon. Sumo is for everyone, not just Japanese men.
>>249861I said non-competing purposes.
>>249861>>249859Kill yourself
>>249863Japan can't practice isolationism anymore, it's time for them to join the global community.
Is Ichyamamoto really gay or is that just a meme
>>249859>we need women on the dohyo because medical care only a woman can do and because uh... we just do okay!!stfu Chris (((Gould)))>female sumo leagueAnyone who want to see fat women catfighting can just switch to burger "sumo" or just watch Jerry Springer or some shit.
>>249865There are no gay rikishi. It's one of the manliest professions in Japan. The men wearing the mawashi generate so much testosterone they get love hotel allowances from the JSA so they can perform in the dohyo.
>>249869Reminder that Asanoyama's first drop down to Sandanme was punishment for breaking Covid quarantine rules to visit a hostess bar.
People who hate Chris expose themselves as having a low IQ and not understanding sumo.
>>249870A man wants what a man craves.
Which one of you Miyabiyama lovers was playing this Paladin?
>>249873>WoW in 2025it's probably not even a sumo reference
>>249873My first thought was Senran Kagura tbqhwy lad
Hakkaku approaches you and says he'll give the chairman position to Kakuryu so long as you have sex with a Makuuchi rikishi. Who would you choose?
THE DEFEAT POSEHOSHORYU IN ABSOLUTE SHAMBLESMONGOLIA WILL NEVER RECOVER
Love this jolly lil nigga like you wouldn't believe. I'm convinced half of the reason people watch the channel is for Okaryu.
>>249883Gagamaru says it in one of his early videos, referring to another wrestler: "He has a magnificent body, very harmonious (in the distribution of fat). When you think of a rikishi, that type of body comes to mind." That's exactly the case with Okaryu; he has a harmony in his fat and roundness that makes him aesthetically pleasing to look at.I'm going to say his name: O-KA-RYU (Great Dragon Cock)
>>249884He is a photogenic lad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbEfvHZ2YBEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArDZfW9UpA0SLOPPANDESU
havent watched futaslop in a while. Koga actually bigger now?
>>249883>tsundere lifer For me it’s kokuryunami
>>249894poor guy, goes into sumo to avoid having to follow his parents' path of cooks, still becomes a cook.
>>249890Gaijin alert, no thanks.
>>249152>>249881>>249882Stop spamming this SHITIm just going to make a new thread before you anyway purely to spite your faggot ass, you know
>>249902How come seeing Dan pics upsets you so badly?
>>249891he's not smaller.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACTbrq1jzXY
>>249902You are the problem.
>>249918
>>249903>>249926samefag
>>>/x/41623429
Is Onosato cooked if a fatter rikishi shows up?
>>249932Danfags (the tribe of Dan) are gay and jewish confirmed.
>>249933Dewanojo is fatter and has never been a sekitori. Fat isn't a cheat code, it's a crutch.
>>249933>Onosato moves forward>Hokuseiho stands therewho wins?
>>2497961-2 weeks before the basho, except makushita promoting to sekitori and ozeki/zuna promotions like aonishiki
>>249933Atamifuji weighs more than Onosato.
>>249944Promotions are announced but their placement on the banzuke isn't. I mean yeah Dan is O1w but that's not "official" yet.
>Last banzukeDan was 4th>This banzukeDan will be 4thNice "promotion".
>>249947He get's a free mulligsn basho and the ability to advance to the highest rank.
I was abnormally entertained and excited by the last honbasho which was my first time getting into sumo. I can't tell if sumo is just that good or it's a sign that I'm getting old by being entertained by something as mundane as a sport.
>>249949The November basho ended on a very exciting note. January and September probably rival it for excitement. July didn't happen.
>>249948his name is bigger and he will be 3rd highest by march unless Zak wakes up and his knees magically repair themselves.
>>249949You entered at a good time. The past few years was a transition period where the old guard was aging out, but the new wave hadn't quite grown enough to come into their own. Right now we;re finally in a new era. We've got 2 young relatively healthy yokozuna, with a new young healthy ozeki (who could possibly become a 3rd yokozuna). There's some other promising newcomers as well.
How can you properly compare rikishi before and after the 20th century?>more tournaments mean more chances to gain records>but also higher chance to get injured and fall out of the ability to compete well
>>249955>durrrr the older guys are nearing retirement, the rookies are young and the guys in the prime of their career are near to their peak
>>249981None of that being the anon's point notwithstanding, do you really feel like the last couple years WEREN'T a listless period of waiting for the good young rikishi to arrive and/or become good and kick our crop of has-beens and never-will-bes out of the way?I mean, christ, Kiri was one of the top guys for a while
>>249955>with a new young healthy ozeki (who could possibly become a 3rd yokozuna)Based Kotozakura fan.
>>249984I completely agree anon
>>249985image the ashamedness of horse if zak and dan both make yokuzuna and the proceed to get their first yushos as yokozuna before he does.
>>249987Im just waiting for Hoshs heel turn when he'll start using all kinds of nasty techniques like late stage Hakuho
>>249989>whenDid you miss him shoving people out of the ring in November?
>>249990I know, I enjoyed that
>>249990If Hoshoryu was evil for shoving Takayasu then Hakuyozan is the devil of dameoshi
>>249990lol, hyperbolic much?
Rewatched the Chris Sumo vid on Hosh's promotion to Yokozuna. In the vid, he mentions that Asashoryu said Josh "tends to win the pressure bouts" and Chris says "pressure maketh this man, it seems". However>His two basho playoff wins were against maigashitters>In the past year, he is 0-3 in playoff matches>In the past year, he has lost several bouts that would have sealed the yushoSo that whole "he's good under pressure" thing is false.
>>249990I like Takayasu but there are times in their bout where Takayasu was about to gouge Hosh's eyeballs. Like c'mon, he deserved that shove.
>>250003JoshJoshoryuYeah I can get behind that.
>>250003It's not about the current rank it's about how they performed this basho. Kotosh*ho is a fucking goober but for that one basho the guy was Ozeki level. Likewise back in January Oho and Kinbozo really were fighting like high level sanyaku worthy of the playoff.
>>250005Jyoshoryu is probably an available shikona, anon. Do it. Become HIM.
>>250003real life is not a videogame where you get a "good under pressure" perk and you can never lose a playoff thereafter
Gonna be really disappointed if Tenrosei doesn't make sekitori and change his shikona to Tenshoryu.
kazuma was like wtf lol
According to reports from the jungyo Dan has been massively popular at every tour stop and the yokozuma has started to become visibly perturbed and resentful whenever he is forced to witness Dan receiving ever more acclaim
>>250010I love this ugly bastard like you wouldn’t believe.
>>250016Mongols old and bustedUkrops new hotness
>>250016What a load of bullshit. You are literally making shit up. These are straight up actual LIES.
>Earthquake in Japan>4chan suddenly is deadCoincidence?
>>250022>The owner of 4chan is Japanesethe evidence keeps piling up
>>250022The Yokozuna is injured so the evil spirits are running rampantHosh cant contain them on his own
>>250016The age of mongolia is over.
>>250029Asahifuji is going to bring it back
>>250030Kazuma the ugly bastard is the new kamikaze which will finally end the mong invasion just like it did 800 years ago.
>>250030nuAsahifuji will be a damp squib. Bukhchuluun is the real Mongol who will lead the Golden Horde to Japanese conquest.
I'm old enough to remember when onokatsu was being called the next great mong zuna and tearing up makushita & juryo with his "this will look cool, I saw it in an anime" tachiai style. but then his rapid rise came to halt and he can barely even make joi level let alone KK up there >>250031kazuma's lack of mobility means his ceiling is tsurugisho 2.0
>>250003>In the past year, he is 0-3 in playoff matchesHow deep into your ass did you have to reach to pull those numbers?
>>250038>we almost had kinbozan yushoI'd kms had we gotten 2 maegashira yusho in 1 year
>>250039Don't be dramatic
>hurr DURR maegashira are... LE BADThere are like 600 total rikishi in the JSA. Reaching Makuuchi division makes you one of the absolute pinnacles of Sumo. They deserve respect.
>>250043you don't know what the word pinnacle means
Saw that clip of that cute Japanese girl taking a pic of Asanoyama. In that same clip, it showed a white woman thirsting over Chiyonofuji. Got me thinking, who are some of the most handsome sumo wrestlers ever? Restricting to just wresters who've made Makuuchi, I think Chiyonofuji tops the list and Taiho is up there too. Lowkey Dan is up there as well.
>>250045Makuuchi is the best in all of sumo, you don't know what you're talking about.
>>250045It's like that fruit you put on pizza with ham no?
>>250017Same.>>250046>who are some of the most handsome sumo wrestlers ever?Here >>250010Yes, I'm restricting it to makuuchi, he'll soon be there.
>>250046>who are some of the most handsome sumo wrestlers ever?
Takatoriki has said that he will take care of Moriurara when the latter retires. In the extremely unlikely event that Miyabiyama lives long enough to see Koga retire, will they do the same?
>>250060hope not
>>250060hope so
Any news on Onosato's injury?
>>250063Terminal.
whens the next chris video going to drop?
what if spiffy and chris linked up, what kind of videos would they make?
>>250004>OH HE DID (a normal legal move that happens all the time) PAPAYASU DESERVED THE SHOVE OFF THE DOHYOwhy is reddit so soft
>>250047To be quite desu with you being in the top 6-7% of something isn't exactly the "pinnacle".
>>2500678 minute videos of made up statistics about racism in sumo.
>>250068Fucking hell what a fight. Why can't Hoshoryu be more like his uncle?
>>248919>>250031>>250037he said in the interview he's very aware of his previous injury, which by the way was his second, so he had injuries in both of his knees now. So he might end up being just tsurigishou 2.0 indeed, but i want him to bowl down to M1 at least. >>250074tenrousei will make up for it
>>250080This is like the people who said Dan would start losing once he reached juryo. Kazuma is the real deal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn4oCu5wE_4HORSESHITRYU SLOP YUSHO
>>250080Hosh wants to be hardcore but the NHK won't let him
>>250093>Hoshoryu (without the NHK power limiters)>Onosato (lobotomized to erase from his mind the spatial concept of "going backward")Who would win in a fight between these two Yokozuna?
>>250095Onosato without a doubt
>>248930They gon' kill that nigga.
>>249781That one tooth behind the other is unsettling>>249787The right guy's nipples are different sizes, also unsettling
>>249933Perhaps he meant is Onosato cooked if a BIGGER rikishi shows up?
What did he mean by this?
>>250105KUYASHII
Non-zero chance of a low Maegashira winning next time since Asanoyama is back. Juryo and low Maegashira are basically the same thing and he went 12-3 12-3 in Juryo.
>furryroga
Are we in the era of the nonstop Next Big Thing™? Onosato rocketed up to Yokozuna but immediately afterwards we had the rise of Dan. And now we've got Fujiryoga the Next Big Thing™ well on his way to Makuuchi. And we've got Kazuma the Next Big Thing™ going from Jonokuchi to Sekitori in 4 basho. Has that even been done before? That's nuts. I fully expect that within 6 months someone we haven't looked at yet will have risen to Sekitori and be the Next Big Thing™.
>>250117There's always nonstop Next Big Thing™ in every era, the only difference is which ones make it.
>>250114A former ozeki coming back from suspension for banging hoochies during covid and hurting himself doesn’t count as a clown basho.
>>250117We were in the Waiting Room™ era for the last couple of years and now we are in the We're Back™ era where the new younger top dogs have started to file in to the top ranks and will prevent the evil spirits from delivering us any more Clown Basho™.
This is until they start to get injured and the cycle repeats itself.
Remember when Ajigawa recruits all had back to back yusho up to makushitter and then completely stalled until Dan came?
You will never hang out with your sumo bros eating 10k calories of tasty nip food while getting drunk. Why even live.
>>250123Teru's reign as top dog must've been so shit. All he really did was put Takakeisho and KiriSHITma in their places then give his blessing to Onosato.
futagoyama slop is the most reddit thing to ever happen to sumo
>>250133It's fine, I just wish we got to see sekitori more. Roga does nothing in slop videos. Same goes for Meisei in Tatsusloppa. Hosh may as well not exist. I should watch more Kise.
Japanese old lady kisses Dan's shoulder, Wakamotoharu pretends to not notice
>>250133
>>250135NHK stipulates that they can only record + post videos when bashos aren't happening. That means during the same time as the jungyo, so all the sekitori are going to be busy with that. Then when they come back, it's serious tournament prep.
>>250133sorry i misspelled i meant futagoyama slop is the most based thing to ever happen to sumo
>>250138Imagine if Adamisu could open his eyes this much.
>>250138I love Okaryu like you wouldn't believe, what a jolly lil nigga. Hope he makes Makuuchi soon.
>>250132I always knew you were a newfag, thanks for confirming it.Everyone knew what condition Teru was in by the time he made it back up to yokozuna.The day of the knee was inevitable, which was it's own form of excitement, but when he did show up it was always impressive to watch.It was still a great time to watch sumo. Even then that brings up something that has always bothered me about discourse especially on /sp/. Where the only valid and worthwhile thing to care about is "the next big thing", and shitpost about everything else.I'm here to enjoy sumo, and watch the growth and performance of these dudes at all levels.
>>250144You didn't disagree with my post btw.
>>250145I don't know why I even respond to you.
>>250146I also have no idea why you responded to me.
>>250148It's not my fault you are incapable of understanding something without it being explicitly stated in meme or shitpost format.
>>250144>>250145>>250146>>250148>>250149
>>250149I think you're schizophrenic and arguing against points that were never made.
>>250132>All he really did was put Takakeisho and KiriSHITma in their placesHorseSHITryu could never beat Teru, Teru had him so frightened that even as an ozeki horseryu once kyujo'd just to dodge a Teru fight
>>250152I like Hosh but it was kind of pathetic he never managed it. Maybe he could've done it that basho Teru retired. Probably not. Infirm or no, Terunofuji had the aura of a Yokozuna.
Lmao you're all a bunch of jealous little bitches. You wouldn't say shit to Hoshoryu's face in real life. Face it he's achieved a level of athleticism you will never be able to match.
>>250154Anyone can be a fake yokozuna, give me the rope right I now, I can go out and not win bashos till the cows come home.
>>250154I could definitely have made yokozuna if I was born in japan That's just a fact
>>250154>You wouldn't say shit to Hoshoryu's face in real lifeI'd tell him he's very exciting to watch and hope he does great in the next basho.
>>250154Horse was behind this post
>>250162
Japanese spiritualists are now blaming/crediting Dan's yusho & ozeki promotion for instigating the big earthquake and tsunami a couple days ago.
>>250177Is that sake in carton?
>>250179I thought it was Onokatsu stumbling that shiko
>>250181He doesnt know. He's like a magpie, he just sees his shiny thing (aonishiki) and goes nuts.
>>250182You okay anon?
>>250186no I'm obviously not damn, I meant Onosato
>>250060Is Moriurara not capable of taking care of himself?
>>250177Does Ozeki brand actually have anything to do with Sumo or do they just like making ads with all the Ozeki on them? I typically only buy Gekkeikan
>>250193Theyre one of the sponsors and have their own award for the yusho
>>250194Of course they do, lots of companies do and when I learned about the I saw the list of awards from different sponsors was ridiculous.I meant like historically, were they started by an Ozeki or something?
>>250196from what I could understand via MTL it looks like they had a different name but changed it to Ozeki just for vibes and only later started sponsoring the tournaments
>>250191He probably just means he’ll set him up with a job at his restaurant.
>>250196>>250199The company is very old, originally founded in 1711. They changed the name of the drink to "Ozeki" all the way back in 1884, before yokozuna was recognized as a separate rank so ozeki was the highest. The name of the company itself was changed to Ozeki in 1962, but they had been directly sponsoring tournaments before that.
I'm so fucking sick of AI posts.
>>250202I worked too hard looking at Google Translate for three minutes to have my post dismissed as AI
>>250204>AAIIIIIIEEEE KOTOSHOHO-SAMA PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!
Koga will join the ranks of SANDANME by the May basho. Don’t be surprised if there is jonidan yusho in the works as well.
>Most wins in their first five Makuuchi basho#1 Onosato 56#1 Aonishiki 56#3 Hakuho 54Lmao.
>>250208And Terukuni had 59 in his first 5 Makuuchi Bashos, but you conveniently left that out.What's your point other than cherry picking stats for fun.
>>250209Different time and place. He was the only well fed man in Japan at the time since WW2 was ongoing. Also what the fuck how do you not yusho with scores like this? Was he the Kisenosato of the 1940s?
>>250210>Different time and placeAh good, you already know these comparisons are just for jokes then.
Why hasn't yokozuna Hoshoryu won a basho?
>>250213He's won two.
>>250213Because other people won.
2026- Horse will retire in shame and disgrace after failing yet again.
It took Terukuni over 7 years to win a yusho at the Yokozuna rank he didn't yusho even once to get.
>>250213Elbow bone chips by Laysalso he stubbed his toe
>>250217Glad you can read the sumodb bro, congrats.
Hoshoryu is more entertaining to watch than Onosato and still gets similar scores. There, I said it.
Hoshoryu is a timid slob. He doesn't have his Unc's fighting spirit. He is too Japanese. He is not a Mongolian warrior.
>>250220>entertaining>similarWeasel words
I remember yokozuna Kakuryu, so I don't care about whether Hoshoryu is doing badly or not. At least Kisenosato had the injury excuse after he won his debut yusho. Hoshoryu is going to need to do a lot worse than this to be more embarrassing as a yokozuna than Kakuryu was.
>>250224Kakuryu was a grinder in an age of giants When he made ozeki there were already five of them
>>250225Only 2 of which were worth a shit
>>250225Sorry man, you aren't allowed you like a wrestler unless they are the greatest shit ever.Sorry bro it's just like that now.I wanna play some vidya with Kakuryu, dude is fluent in english too so it would be slightly less awkward at least.>>250226As I was saying.
>>250226Compared to Takakeisho and Kiri?
>>250228Takakeisho alone had more yusho than Kotoshogiku, Kotooshu, and Bart combined, and Kirishitma has more than either of those three individually.
>>250229Yeah but they suck, and lose matches, and stuff
I miss chaos lord Ozeki Shodai
>>250221When he retires he is going to have regrets "I wish I'd tried harder, I could've been so much better if I hadn't been so lazy"
If Takakeisho had been around for prime Hakuho his fatass would never amount to anything.
>>250237Which fatass are you referring to?
>>250237Hakuho in his prime wouldn't even make ozeki in the Dan-Onosato era.
Hoshtards coping so hard a year ago when the idiot they worship choked like a bitch in a critical match
>>250246horse tried to uchimuso and got beat down like a bitch
new thread >>250248>>250248>>250248>>250248>>250248
>>250249what a shit threadyou're such a stupid little faggot
>>250247I know you got mental problems but grabbing the outside of the thigh isn't attempting an uchimuso.
>>250210>how do you not yushoFutabayama
>>250224>more embarrassing as a yokozuna than KakuryuKakuryu had the most hinkaku of any of them. Always liked that about him even though he wasn't as dominant.
>>249859I’d like to be able to watch something without niggers, beaners, and women. The exclusivity is a big part of the appeal.
>>249864Why?
