I just read the first and last phrases, if you don't have anything attaching you to her, i.e: children, family then forget about her

>>31126918
Too much red flags. Move on.

incompatible
she's at least telling you how it is without being a cunt
work on the shit she mentioned, either way, she's not coming back and you need to give up on that pony

>>31126918
>i love you
>I don't want to commit to you

Leave that gaslighting bitch behind.

>>31126982
>>31127088

Hurts man. 3 years down the drain.

>>31126951

I don't have anything like that. It's just that I moved with her across the country 2 years ago and now have to leave everything behind and start over. I don't want to stay here.

>>31126918
She's politely turning you down. Even if she really means everything she wrote, she'll move on to a "better" guy in 1 month. If not, she's already fucking randoms.
And yes, you need to avoid being used as insurance. Reaching out put you in a worse position. Go no contact and work on yourself, and go on dates at the same time.

>>31127108
then move man

>>31127103
That's how it is. I just lost 5 years of my prime to a girl

>>31127103
thats life mate it hurts and hurts and no one cares
and anyway its not down the drain, it just ended
its not a game, you dont grind and get a big pay off, you've not lost access to your account or some shit and 3 years of "progress" is lost
if it were down the drain itd imply you fucked it up somehow, and that you've lost it all, that message says load and clear it was fucked from day one, and will be still, if you don't reconcile it's message

>>31127103
man, 3 years is nothing...it would have been real bad for you if it was 10 years or so...be glad you dodged the bullet sooner than later because she seems too broken and it sounds like she wants to ride the dick carousel...no wife material

>>31126918
She's sorry about you.
I wouldn't want anything from a condescending girl.
Take all your anger and frustration and turn it into self improvement day by day.
If you're overweight, skip evening dinners.
Lift some weights to improve your frame and confidence. Focus on you and you only. Also, go full No Contact.
Then you'll be able to truly perceive it as HER LOSS.
Stay strong, you'll be fine later.

>>31127138
> it was fucked from day one, and will be still, if you don't reconcile it's message

It really fucking was. So many red flags that i overlooked just for the sake of having a gf. I was a fool and now paying the price. I should have ended this 2.5 years ago.

>>31127230

Yes i'm going full no contact. My stupid brain still can't get over the good aspects even though i literally wrote 2 pages of bullet points on how she was bad for me.

>>31127127

Im going to put in my notice at work. So i'm still stuck here for another 30 days. Every day i spend here is agony and pain. I can't sleep, can hardly eat.

I was thinking of seeing her one more time bid farewell before i left but i think ill just walk away quietly never to be heard from again.

>>31127319
>Every day i spend here is agony and pain. I can't sleep, can hardly eat.

You'll get over it, just don't wallow in self pity or sadness. She isn't worth it. Distract yourself, pick up some weights in the gym or watch funny cat videos while having a nice tasty meal. Be your best friend right now.

>>31127447

Thanks, i'm trying man. I have days when i'm okay and at peace and then intrusive thoughts creeping up again and the cycle keeps repeating. Doesn't help that i dont have any friends to talk to really, I don't talk to my immediate family about stuff like this, don't want to burden them. So this is all i got here. i appreciate it.

>>31126918
>I deserve some time to explore
If not bait, it's certainly phrased like it could be

>>31126918
Move on. You guys broke up for a reason.

>>31126918
Just respond:

K

>>31127695

Very true. From a logical point there is no reason to get back together. It didn't work and it won't work. Just have to sit with my feelings until they no longer cause me pain.

>>31127103
6 years for me, but I was being foolish anyway. I wanted a family but she didn't, and I thought I could change her mind over time. she put forth no effort into the relationship about halfway in anyway, so there's that too

>>31127887
Sorry man. Were there signs early on that it wouldn't work?

>>31126918
My time yadda yadda

That wall of text is not important. Nothing there is real. The reality is that she lost romantic feelings towards you. Not suddenly. Slowly. For a month or two before breakup, and you missed it. That wall of text is her caring about you as a friend. But as a lover you are done. She doesnt understand why, she just feels nothing towards you now

>We broke up two weeks ago
No, you got dumped because you didnt maintain her love. It slowly evaporated amd she dumped you

>I reached out
Thats why the love is gone, your personality. Someone tells you to exit their life and you keep chasing. Women are repulsed by this. A man would accept her decision and move on

>Does this sound like she just wants to keep around as a backup
No, its worse. Its *sorry, move on,dont easte your time*. You keep running after someone who dumped you so she politely dumping you again. Let her move on

>if her next guy(s) don't work out?
You dont know women. Your attractiveness in her eyes is like 4 right now. Any new suitable guy that approaches her on the street will be like 6 at worst. She knows you are bad choice, you keep proving that, she doesnt expect you to change, she gave you warning clues for few months

Maybe new guy will be so terrible she will tey you again, but that is very unlikely. Also you are clueless and you come with all the baggage of guilt, sadness, problems and so on

- women lose love slowly
- when they are done they are done
- they dont dump men they care about
- she thought about it for months, she discussed it with all the friends
- she grieved losing you for a long time while staying with you

Learn how women work, let that one go, dont fuck up with the next one

>>31128143

There were signs that it would never work from the beginning.

She was 10 years younger than me, im 36, shes 26.

She has a shitty personality and anger issues, she scratched up my arms regularly for the past year. She would threaten me often about breaking up after every outburst.

So i was losing attraction to her as well and wanted to break up, not coping it's the truth.


But after breaking up, i'm just second guessing myself even though i know logically it was the right thing to do. I did not think we could make as a married couple with kids.

But your point still stands, but subconsciously i was done with her and pushing her away.

Actually just last week she came to my work crying and had to console her. She made contact with me several times first after break up. So i started having second thoughts and reach out to her. But i won't do that anymore.

>>31128111
she was incredibly lazy - the laziest person I have ever met. that alone should have been a red flag, but in my infinite wisdom, I thought I could change that too

we'll make it, brother. one way or another

>>31128250
>There were signs that it would never work from the beginning

Its the usual. Most relationships are just casual dating that went too long

>10 years younger than me
>shitty personality and anger issues
>scratched up my arms regularly for the past year
>threaten me often about breaking up after every outburst.

Classical daddy issues, undatable. Surprised it went on so long and you weren't ghosted after break up. Tho what I described break up wise still applies, basic female stuff crazy or not

>after breaking up, i'm just second guessing myself
Yeah, its not you. Its your brain. When its available, its not scarce. You see flaws, you are thinking about replacing it. But now that she unobtainable, your brain falsely sees her as something valuable and craves it. Rejection breeds obsession. She rejected everything that you are. Ego is hurt, she has all the leverage, etc etc. If you get her back right now you will get bored and thinking about exiting in few weeks, because she will still be the same and you will be the same. Recognise that what you feel is not right, its a psychological feature

>did not think we could make as a married couple with kids
Crazy women make terrible mothers and create broken homes with crazy daughters

>subconsciously i was done with her and pushing her away
Rejection breed obsession, ingrain this into your mind

>But i won't do that anymore.
Good

Now learn from it deeply not to do that gain, cover your knowledge gap

- why did you date her
- what did you miss
- what makes her like that so you can spot and avoid
- why so long
- why didnt you leave
- how women lose attraction and exit
- how to behave during break ups
- what are your needs and what are you willing to do with the next one

Either she wants you or she doesn't. Move on if she doesn't.

>>31128383

>Yeah, its not you. Its your brain. When its available, its not scarce. You see flaws, you are thinking about replacing it. But now that she unobtainable, your brain falsely sees her as something valuable and craves it. Rejection breeds obsession. She rejected everything that you are. Ego is hurt, she has all the leverage, etc etc. If you get her back right now you will get bored and thinking about exiting in few weeks, because she will still be the same and you will be the same. Recognise that what you feel is not right, its a psychological feature

That's exactly what it is man. for the last year, I was sick of her shit and thinking about ending it for some time, especially after she started physically abusing me. I lost her attraction to her big time too, I did not even wanna fuck her as much as I used, I would rather jerk off instead and think about other women. I did not want her over as much, because it just ruined my peace when she was over.

But now that she's gone and not an option anymore, my brain is playing tricks on me. But logically this is what i wanted all along.

>>31127178
This, im about to maybe end a 3yr one myself. It sucks and hurts a bit, but I refuse to be miserable with an uncompromising bitch of a little girl.

>>31128261
Nigga are you me? This is my current hell. Being with a bitch who wants to be miss independent but moving at a snail's pace that's upside down. 3yrs so far and she lacks a car, a job, and barely takes school seriously yet has head ass delusions about going to a 4yr at age 29.

>>31128487
Man this thread is some good therapy. Good to know I'm not making a bad choice and that my brain is just throwing a toddler tantrum cause my favorite toy is gone. You're 100% correct my man. Went through it in my last relationship and I'm going through it now, if you know deep down you didn't want this person then the hurt of them leaving fades pretty fast. Honestly you'll probably be ok after 3 solid months of no contact. Usually it takes 3 months to go full cold turkey on something.

>>31126918
When asking a woman what she wants from you, anything that isn't just a straight simple "yes" means "I wanna fuck around without feeling like im accountable or that there are consequences" and sometimes "yes" means that also.

>>31128542
Preach

>>31126918
>wall of text
it's over
she is fucking chad now

>>31128595
can confirm am chad

>>31127103
8 and a half years here m8, you really are lucky
I spent my entire 20s wrapped up with one bitch instead of having fun and doing me...

>>31126918
I wouldnt say being a back up is good my man. Let this shit go, what she is saying in womanese is "I'm going back to the bullshit I was on fully before, hopefully I can trick a new man into dealing with me, but if I can't then please keep my number around just in case I need to come back atleast 2 or 3 times"

>>31126918
>>31128143
Gonna jump into this thread looking for advice
I'm >>31128629, I confessed to my fiancée I saw prostitutes behind her back and it took about a week for her to decide to dump me for good. I've slowly been realizing that she was getting tired of me months ago and wasn't going to give me a second chance.

That was over four months ago and I still can't let it go. I'm literally going to therapy for this shit. I moved out months ago, I've gone no contact with her, she started seeing someone else a couple of months ago, but I still can't let it go.

It's easy to say "just let it go, forget about her," but HOW? I thought I was going to marry her, I worked from home for the last three years and she was half my world, sometimes the only person I would see all day.
I want this bitch to stop living rent-free in my head. I've been trying to find a new girl but it's not exactly easy, I nuked most of my social circles while with her and I'm basically starting from zero again. What can I do to move on that doesn't include getting fresh pussy?

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>>31128749
You literally just have to live man and actually want a future for yourself, that's it. You don't need a big ass purpose, but waking up everyday and just living is what pushes you through naturally. You going to therapy and shit is just poking at an oozing sore. Leave it alone, literally, stop thinking about it and if you do push the thought away immediately. If you need something to cope then do anything that can distract your mind. Build things, watch movies, collect fucking yugioh cards, anything. I've been in your spot many times and each time it felt like it was it until I just woke up one day and didn't care cause I had a job, or my friends wanted to hang, or I wanted to go to the beach and look at the water by myself. I didn't plan it, I just reached that point by living and deciding to not let the memory of someone, good or bad, to make me into a weeping little bitch. She's gone man. Accept it and keep moving forward, pick your gun up because there's already too many bodies in the trenches.

>>31127319
>My stupid brain still can't get over the good aspects even though i literally wrote 2 pages of bullet points on how she was bad for me
Yeah that's normal mate. Its your brain going in to survival mode and wanting the comfort of her back.
Everytime you sit there thinking about her, read that list.

>>31128383
10/10 post

>>31128542
100.emoji

>>31128641

I'll be moving 3000 miles across the country in June so there's no chance of getting with her again. At this point, it's for the better. I don't want her back. I'll let her enjoy the false sense of power she might feel because she thinks she dumped me. it's whatever.

>>31129649
Based. Yeah unfortunately women are weak when it comes to breakups, for all the crap they talk, they come back or constantly want to "check in"

>>31126918
all i had to read what the first sentence to see where she is at. you're right that she would only ever be Plan B for her. NEVER DO THAT! never let a girl settle for you.

go find a girl that is head over heels for you man. and if you can't find any then keep making yourself hotter and hotter until you see that you've caught their eye. you can tell when it happens there's no mistaking it. good luck and forget about this girl

>>31128800
Did you ever fall back in love with another again though, or are you just fine but alone?

>>31129733

that's what she did multiple times, she called me the very next day...then emailed me.....then last week came to my work crying....just to get validation that they are still wanted.

>>31129756
Mine said we could still be friends if I wanted but I said no we can't and havent heard from her since, stopped checking her social media a year or two ago, but she's always a ghost on my mind. Im always thinking about her even though i dont want her back i mean im talking about her right now. I wanted her since we were kids and finally got her when we're older and now its just all gone

>>31129751
agrees. The thing is that i always knew that she wasnt all that crazy for me and she even admit to me very early on that i wasn't her "ideal" guy. I posted threads 2 years ago and people warned me. I'm okay losing her but I wasted 3 years of my life that's what hurts the mosti. i could have found someone who actually loved me the whole time. Now i'm mid 30s and it's become even harder to find that person

>>31129756
Kek came to your work crying... are you the cuck that promised to get back with her posting here like 2 weeks ago?

>>31129797
You're mid 30's?
Perfect, you can smash mid 20's to early 20's girls EZ.

>>31129799

might have been me....i made some mistakes in my most beta state. But the bitch really came to my work with all the waterworks and i said okay we can give it another try if you want, she agreed and then 4 hours later texted me it wasn't a good idea. that's when i knew this bitch was mentally unstable

>>31129802

How so? I'm not very good looking or fit or rich. Just average. Plus smashing chicks for casual sex is not something i'm really looking for at this point. I already fucked a coworker and it did nothing for me.

>>31129849
You sound mentally unstable quite frankly. Youre malleable in the way that a young child would be

>>31129874

i have my own issues. I admit. And so does she, I think that's main reason this went on as long as it did. Two mentally sound people probably call it off 2 years ago.

>>31129926
Well now you're in a situation of play stupid games win stupid prizes. Time to stop worrying about what she means and what might be and what your role is in it and move on

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>>31126951
This.
>I'm unfortunately not ready to commit to you fully
This is all I needed to read.

>>31126918
If you don't have children with her then forget about her. By even engaging with this at all you are just rubbing salt in your own wound, prolonging the suffering and preventing the healing. Move on lad.

>>31129863
Why the fuck do I seem to be the only motherfucker on the planet that can't get rebound sex?
Granted I'm self-employed and work from home but it's like ever since I broke up I've turned invisible to women, when I was in a relationship women would sometimes even give me numbers.

>>31129954
Your outward display of confidence has changed without the subconscious validation of the ex. Also you work from home and are alone too often to maximize chances,

>>31129954
>I seem to be the only
>I've turned invisible to women
They can sense your desperation and desperation is female repellent. Just work on yourself and be your best self. You're self-employed, that's awesome. Frankly, I wouldn't even bother with casual sex, it's a waste of time and energy.

>>31129957
>Your outward display of confidence has changed without the subconscious validation of the ex
I'm not going to deny my confidence in general has taken a big hit, my material quality of life has downgraded sine we split up and that's not helping either.
But I'm nearing two months of noporn/nofap and I just want to fuck again, this "work on yourself and the ladies will come" bullshit is getting annoying

>>31126918
Bro. It seems to me that she has been cheating on you, she wants to "have fun" (with other guys), she became disillusioned as she was expecting "perfection", she is gaslighting you over it, her not listening you (viz a viz "unpacking") shows a lack of empathy and compassion and she wants you to wait for her as her betabux once she is ready to "settle down". She has issues like BPD/NPD maybe she is probably on medication and it is affecting her. Having said that, she wants to have flings.

>>31129939

>>31129950

Yes i'm moving on lads. No more reaching out to her. It'll become easier once im moved across the country. Hardest thing is being stuck her with no family or friends. Everything i have around me is tied to her so it's a constant reminder.

>>31129966
>Just work on yourself and be your best self.
I've been doing that for the past four months since the breakup. Gotten into boxing, lost like 20 pounds so far while my lifts are still going up, cut down my drinking drastically, working harder on my business, but it's still getting lonely and it doesn't make me not horny.
> I wouldn't even bother with casual sex, it's a waste of time and energy.
I would at least like to be the judge of that myself

>>31129989
>I would at least like to be the judge of that myself
You can but I promise in hindsight I wish I didn't waste my 20s on that. Sounds like you are building a good life overall. Best of luck champ.

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>>31129975

i don't think she cheated on me. But you never know fully. But i think she does have NPD, she hits most of the 9 traits. Very arrogant, self centered, low empathy etc individual. And i might add that she's not even good looking but still thinks very highly of herself.

Plus has anger issues, she physically abused me for months with scratching my arms up every other day. It went on for a year.

>>31130007
In hindsight I wish I didn't waste my entire 20s twisted around some bitch that won't even look at me. Every one of those 8 years just feels like a waste. But I guess we all have our own regrets
But thanks man, I'm not going to give up just because it's not getting me pussy, that would be stupid. At the very least, I figure I deserve to know what I look like with visible abs

>>31130008

i'll also add that i cheated on her 3-4 times over the last 2 years and as recently as two weeks before breakup. im not innocent in all this

>>31126918
>Time to explore some of my doubts
This is code for ride the cock carousel and go mad for Chad and then when she's finished scratching that itch she will come back and settle for you haha

>>31130039

you think Chad wants my sloppy seconds?
I hope Chad can do better than her.

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>>31127103
5 years during my mid-20s to 30 years old man. During the peak of my life. Months from getting married. Hell, marriage doesn't even mean anything these days anyway. One moment they love you and want to stick it out but the next something clicks and they start to detach.

It hurts. But it wasn't a waste of time. Take this as a lesson of what to look out for when you're ready to go out there again. You can identify what to look for and what to run the fuck away from.

>>31130008
Try hitting the gym you flabby retard maybe it will help your mental health

>>31130063
>>31130063

Yes definitely, learned some valuable lessons along the way. I will never chase a woman again to begin with, that's my biggest regret. Let them come to you.

>>31126918
listen to me i just got out of a 4y LTR with my oneitis a week ago because she cheated on me.

I will never do better, and i've swallowed this. Even if she came back i wouldn't take her because i know it wouldn't be good for me, and i need self respect.

DO NOT stay with this, this bitch is insane.

>>31130232

Sorry to hear bro. I knew she was insane when she started clawing her nails into my arms on a regular basis every time i made her "mad".

Why do you think you can't do better? I think you can man.

hahahah

>dating atheists.

This is why you don't. THREE YEARS?? You should know if you're getting married within 3 months.... this isn't hard; if you can stand being in a room with them, and there's no abuse going on, then you have basically no excuse to have any relationship issues whatsoever.


It really isn't complicated. Read your damn Bibles. Stop overcomplicating life. You are like a speck of dust floating in the wind, being taken wherever your unconscious whims take you. Gain an understanding of reality and your place in it and simply do what's right.

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>>31130250

Let me make this loud and clear.

I am into muscular women taller or as tall as my ass, with some thickness. Sort of a venus-body type build (pic rel). Now this body is typically fucking impossible in real life. I have never met one person with this body. Muscular arms, tummy with buldging abs, but with enough fat to be soft, thick thighs.

She had it. She was goth too and fuck me that was hot, and her interests were perfect to mine. We both liked video games intellectual discussion, had the same conservative politics and she was also christian. She had a mommy and breast feeding kink which i did too, all our feitshes aligned.

The day you meet someone fucking like this is the day you fucking come on ADV screaming ANON I FOUND A GIRL SIMILAR TO THIS. You fucking dox me personally and find my ass. She had a gorgeous face like no other. The way her black lipstick left marks on me.

Fuck you, you're making me cry. Just stay away from that bitch. She is insane for raking your damn arm in anger.

I will never have a taller muscular goth woman hold me and let me call her mommy again. I lived a fantasy. I wish i was dead.

I hope you have a happy life and find a good woman anon. I know i never will.

Whoever said its better to have loved than never loved is a fucking liar this is torture.

>>31130302

I see anon. I'm sorry.

I don't know how old you are but i'm 36 so odds are stacked against me.

How long did you break up with her?

Give it some time. It might not feel like you'll ever get over her right now but time heals all wounds. Also, i don't care how good a relationship i had with someone but if they betray me (ie cheating), they are dead to me and everything they stood for dies with them.

>>31130346
thats the worst part she feels dead to me. I feel like i never knew her. The girl i knew never would've abandoned me to go cheat on me with some fuck in another country.

But she did. I don't even know her anymore. The fact you can be with someone so long and they can just fuck off instantly like that no matter how perfect they were to you, it just shows me there is no need to date. Its over for me. Im broken. I've never been more hurt from a break up.

I started having panic attacks again, my IBS reactivated after years to a point i forgot i even had anxiety induced IBS. Depression makes me so numb I can't enjoy anything.

My soul feels ripped from my body. My life feels over and I'm only 23. I don't think i'll ever find something this good ever again. I've accepted it.

>>31130346
I've tasted true ambrosia and happiness, and it has reaped me of all enjoyment in life. Nothing will ever sate my thirst and hunger for joy ever again. Not my wildest dreams or greatest wealth. Not even the hottest broad to current society.

>>31130063
>>31130346
That guy right there situation is similar to mine. She was also my fiance too. We were supposed to get married in 2025 and promised me we would.

Enough of my bitching. I've said enough.

4 years down the fucking drain myself.

>>31129752
I found another gf. Not hard when you realize it was all temporary

>>31126918
she signed off with

>thank you

it's over, bud

>>31130370
>My life feels over and I'm only 23

Bro relax. Seriously, your life is not over. You have plenty of time to recover from this. If you keep telling yourself that you won't get over it then you will start believing that and you really will stay stuck on it.

I was an incel throughout my 20s so I would have been happy with any relationship at all even if it ended badly.

Take a year or two to focus on yourself. Start going to gym. Listen to Alan watts. Reset your mind. Don't let any one person be the source of your happiness or sadness. You will come out of this stronger.

>i want to explore and do soul searching

She has been fucked by another man already, most likely. Move on mate

>>31128513
it do be like that

>>31130520

Many such cases

>>31130520
the same as "experiences and opportunities"

Literally getting runthrough.

>>31130585

why do incels think everything is about sex?

>>31130595
Look man, women aren't exactly subtle about their subtlety. If you think that kind of shit doesn't mean "meet other people" you're delusional.

>>31126918
I'll interpret the text to you:

You revealed to her you are a genetic reject and she got The Ick.
She want's to embrace her inner WHORE.
SHE IS RIDING THE COCK CAROUSEL RIGHT NOW.

Hope this helps.

>>31130497
what does that mean? why it's so fucking over?

>>31130636
>>31130617

Good for her then, I'm sure her future husband (not me) is going to feel so lucky to have her.

>>31130595
>incel

Im literally a father.

>>31130008
Sorry that happened, it would have been confusing, shocking and angering. I would not disregard an NPD/BPD not being faithful.
>>31130025
Its messy bro, its fucking messy. Why did you cheat on her?

>>31130666
when women start acting like it's a formal business transaction instead of an intimate personal relationship, they're completely done. it's all professional one sentence answers from here on out if you even get a response at all.

aw

>>31130970
Because I got sick of fucking her, it didn't feel as good as it once did. Plus her toxic behavior made me isolated and I started thinking about other women

>>31132041

you should be happy the relationship is over. There is no future with her given your cheating and her behavior and probably her cheating too. Sucks but don't contact her at all and let it die. You two were never meant to be together in the first place. She seems like a headcase, let her ruin someone else's life. be Glad she's done with you.

>>31126918
>>31127103

Been in a similar situation last year OP, 3 years down the drain. She broke up with me after we went on vacation with her whole family and has a great time. We were even goin to move in together. Really blindsided me when she told me she was falling in love for a co-worker, that she loved me but was not in love with me. All of this on the day we were supposed to attend my mom birthday. My mom really loved her too and was asking me for the whole event what happened to her, so I was lying the entire time. A day later she came to my house, we fucked, told me I'll always be the best boyfriend she'll ever have, and then 2 months later started posting photos all over social media with her co-worker going on trips, meeting her family. She even recently unfriended me, which is weird because we left the relationships on good terms.

Trust me when I say this. Take your time to heal, don't rush things, I know it sucks now, but I can guarantee you that if you do the work you'll find something better. I know it's hard to see right now, but take one step at a time. You are worthy of love fren, and you'll find someone who loves you exactly for who you are and who will be fully invested in you and the relationship.

Women really are strange creatures, they tend to operate based on feelings, which also may change very quickly. But don't pause your life in the meantime waiting for her to return, go do your own things, do you, and enjoy the journey.

>>31132859

Thanks man. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It's like getting your heart ripped out. But you know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And it's good she showed her true self to you before you got into a marriage/kids. Things happen for a reason. Yes, i'm trying to stay positive. Some days are good some are hard. It's only been 2 weeks so emotions are still raw. Honestly, I don't even want her back at this point. Trust is lost. I'm not going to be somebody's second option. Plus i had started losing feelings for her myself and thought it would be best for us to part ways. In the end, life sorts things out and people who are meant to be in your life will be there.

>>31130256
>It really isn't complicated.
>Read your damn Bibles.
>Gain an understanding of reality.
Lol no. Even if I do agree that our current "atheist" - by lack of a better way to put it - society is rotten to the core (for the simple reason that nothing is sacred anymore), this is a load of bullshit.
Very few people who read the bible actually genuinely understand the slightest thing about it.
Taking shrooms or LSD is literally a better way to get "an understanding of the world and your place in it" than reading the bible is. Literally, yes.

>You should know if you're getting married within 3 months.... this isn't hard; if you can stand being in a room with them, and there's no abuse going on, then you have basically no excuse to have any relationship issues whatsoever.
That's not how interpersonal relationships work, but it is how patriarchal societal institutions work. It provides clarity and security at the cost of freedom and well-being.

Touch grass, biblefag.

>>31132918

I know, sucked at the time, and still sucks from time to time, but it's like >>31128383 said, one tends to fixate because rejection breeds obsession and that situation presents as a strike to the ego. I mean, I saw a lot of red flags, I.E. absent father, mother had multiple couples and she has a lot of stepbrothers and stepsisters, lack of communication within the relationship. The funny thing is that she was the one sho approached me while at a party. I also was her first boyfriend but she wwasn´t my first girflriend, so I have a little bit more experience when it comes to relationships.

Thing is I sometimes wonder how is she or if she's happy, but showing for what she posted at least seems like she is, even after a year I sometimes think about her, but I do not hate her or anything, just wondering. I know it'll stop one day and I tend not to stay on this trail of thoughts for very long.

Not completely healed but in a better spot that I was a year ago. And actually managed to went on some dates and currently met an awesome girl who I'm dating right now.

I know, the betrayal sucks, it cuts so deep in one and your brain tend to overanalyze every aspect that tend to lead to the break up, or in my case the fact that she coulkd just dump someone she allegedly loved for someone else who she met 2 months prior. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I dreamt of the day I'd encounter her or him and just beat the shit ouf of both of them, I mean in a very concerning way, just left them as a beaten pulp on the street to die and suffer, but eventually understand that it lead to nothing, so I started focus on myself, and things actually started to change, I know it sounds cliche, but the thing is, you'll be with you for the rest of your life, so why not try to give you a life worth living?

>>31128250
yeah just give it a couple weeks and ask her to go with you to some shit. concert art fair. know that it will be a fun stress free event. act like nothing is wrong. typical game stuff hands on her waist etc.
go ahead and accept she probably banged someone and it didn't work out. basically women are like wild animals. if she has a good time on the date you will fuck.

>>31128143
>you didnt maintain her love
elaborate

>>31130256
>You are like a speck of dust floating in the wind
thats it im stealing something from your house

Cool thread, glad I'm not alone as I'm going through an identical situation right now.

>>31135138
Class, pay attention, there will be life exams on this later

Men love like dogs. We get a toy, that toy covers our needs. As long as toy is the same we are happy with it, we are not trying to find a reasons to get rid of the toy, we find reason to keep it due to investments and familiarity

Women are hungry paranoid cats, they cant control it, they just are. You present proper food (she has high interest) you feed her right (you cover her needs and dont fuck up) cat falls in love with your food. Not you, your food. Now a woman is in love, she is always available, easy to meet, she give gifts, sex is mind blowing, your jokes are funny, showers you with compliments, typical love

Getting there was the easiest part, now comes the hardest part

The cat is hungry. Now. You fed her yesterday, you promise to feed her tomorrow, it doesnt matter, cat is suffering. Cat loses attraction slowly. Needs are not covered, cat starts to realise that this food source is not the best, cat wants to look around the neighborhood

You stop being the guy she fell in love with, you stop doing little things, you stop romance her, stop covering her needs (which will change with time), etc etc cat gets hungry, bored and unhappy, now the cat that purred and massages you hisses and scratches

Also theres question of amount of food. Too much food (you are too easy, too available, you treat her amazing for no effort from her, too predictable, too boring, not making things exciting) cat loses interest and looks around. Too little food (you are cold, arguing, she doesnt feel special, you dont ask about her life and you are not the one she talks to first about everything) and cat is hungry and looks around

Having a cat is an endless game of balancing amount of food for this particular cat and quality of food. Cat job is to leave, your job is to keep it. When cat leaves it wins, you lose. You cant keep it forever, so there is no winning condition, only enjoyment of the process

>>31136883
Conclusion

- dont waste time on cats with low interest
- dont waste time on cats who lost interest
- dont waste time on cats who need investment to cover your needs, dont try to change them
- let cats come to you and chose most suitable ones
- dont overinvest or attach to the cat, overinvest and attach to yourself, replace the cat when it wants to leave
- produce the best fod, make it irreplaceable, learn how to feed the cat to optimise your effort

>>31132041
I ask you yo learn from it and avoid doing that in the future. If the feeling is not there and she being toxic it could induce in you to seek pleasure as to balance and reduce the displeasure from her. If I did that with the NPD/BPD before she would talk on and on and on about it. Meantime, the emotions are high, you could mediate on them. I hope you find another girl, get married and have kids.

>>31136910
>dont waste time on cats who need investment to cover your needs, dont try to change them
Could have saved me 2 years of.heartbreak if I knew that earlier

>>31137312
Some people never learn that. Some people learn that after 40 years of marriage and dysfunctional kids. Some people learn it after 10 years of toxic on and off domestic abuse clusterfuck

You bought a valuable life lesson only in 2 years, cherish it. I can tell you all the secrets of this world, but unless they resonate with your personal pain and memories it will never click

>>31126951
fpbp just cut through all the bullshit and realize what she's sent you is a meandering "no". Move on and don't waste any more time wondering about her

>I've thought hard about situation
>I cannot be that for you right now.

All that needs to be said

>>31133085
>Taking shrooms or LSD is literally a better way to get "an understanding of the world and your place in it" than reading the bible is. Literally, yes.
No the fuck it isn't weird pothead coastie I can already smell your dreads

>>31126918
>provides none of his contextual messages
>looking for reassurance from other men she is just a slut
>dated for 3 years
>she was 23 and you were 33 when starting to date
>anon moved across country for her
>she acted like a spoiled brat and hot tempered
>he tried trauma dumping on her
This is why age gaps are controversial. You’re mad and feel like you wasted time because you did waste your time, you wasted your time before this woman was even old enough to be dated legally. You acted like a sugar daddy and now her pre-frontal cortex kicked in and she realized how unhealthy the relationship was. You lost attraction to her because she was getting older and she could probably pick up on that.

You are not a good person. You are a weirdo. You haven’t grown at all and still act like a 16 year old boy and crawled back to her despite the relationship ending. This shit is embarrassing to read, there are twenty-five year old men who manage to act more mature than you are. Posting a god damn screen-cap of a relationship ending just to get your ass licked by young men who are actually experiencing one of the worst dating crises within their generation and you’re one of the old pervs out here enabling that shit.

All of the rest of the shit you said in thread proves it too.
>I was tired of fucking her
>She wasn’t attractive anymore!

Yeah cause she grew up, dirty old dude. Don’t convince yourself you’ll ever have a family or settle down when you’re chasing pussy that young, they will grow up and change substantially in their early 20’s, everyone does. It’s why an age gap between 30-40 isn’t shit, but 20-30 is. Hell, I’m struggling being in a five year age gap and I really feel like I’m pushing it, get your shit together and get that therapy.

>>31139096
Worst post ITT
Dumbest poster on this site

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>>31139096
>you wasted your time before this woman was even old enough to be dated legally.
Uhh where on earth is 20 underage??

update: she came over. we fucked twice. talked for 3 hours. Still not getting together though, mutually.

>>31139096

you are right. I'm a weirdo. She came over and was all emotional. I was too. Then we fucked and I got those feelings i had before the breakup that i didn't want her anymore. But two days later ill miss her again.

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>>31139096
>

>>31126918
I can translate that for you.
>if you really want to then yes i can get back with you but first let me get stretched out by some random dicks. Also when we get back together you need to try twice as hard and this time i will also be FAT.

>>31126918
im laughing reading this shit. jesus its my bpd ex when i was a kid literally mind raping me
ill save you 100 lifetimes of pain. whenever girls write more than 2 sentences just ignore all of it and reply “thats a lot to take in. you’re right about some of it for sure, some of its complicated. let’s meetup and discuss. free tonight?”
literally copy/paste something like that and never give a fuck

>>31142460
thanks Chad. nail head.

>>31126918
Why is everyone talking about therapy all of a sudden? It's like an NPC signal went out.

>>31140051
Hey can you explain to me how this information is relevant in light of the overall purpose of this thread? I'm curious as to how her coming over and having sex with you gives context to your breakup email or the meaning you're trying to extract from it

>>31126918
Are you dense or simply can't read? She basically told you in earnest that she needs time to attend to herself, to figure things out and to work on her traumas and issues plaguing her daily life, and said though you are a lovely guy, she simply thinks you two aren't compatible as is and that both of you should move on. She isn't keeping you as a backup, stop thinking in terms of the retarded internet dichotomy of dating as an economical market, and try to see the words that are in front of you and give them some thought. It's as transparent as can be, and she's not blaming you, she actually put some of the blame on herself and said she didn't want to continue the relationship because she can't fully commit to it and give it her 100%, something she thinks you definitely deserve, and that as such it's best to end it.

It's over, this is the end.

>>31127088
She's not gaslighting him, you weasel.

>>31127103
That's life. Cherrish the moments you had, heal from the hurt and take care of yourself in the process. And if this is how she decided to end things with you, if this is her last msg you get, you should consider yourself lucky because she clearly did love you, was honest with you and wished you the best.

>>31132859
>She even recently unfriended me, which is weird because we left the relationships on good terms.
Because you two are no more and that's reason enough. Besides, given that you still checked up on her social media, she did you a favor in a way and it is for the better this way.

The rest of your post is sound advice and not poisonous rhetoric so many ITT seem to spew at OP, so I hope OP hears you out and takes heed of it.

>>31139096
Good post.

>>31139096
>23 and 33 is weird

retard bait

>>31141469
this

the moment i saw an anon pointing out how 23 and 33 was weird and not legal enough i knew it was an angry roastie

>>31142980
It is, 23 is far too young and lacks life experience to be with someone who is 33, their dynamic isn't equal at all and that leads to abuse, manipulation and scummy behavior, especially from men.

>>31142985
biggest pile of shit ive ever heard

man being 10 years older has been normal for hundreds if not thousands of years

33 and 23 isnt even that big of a gap, i have had 15 year age gap with 18yr olds

>>31143012
Because you can't date someone on your own level, since they're not susceptible to your bullshit and know how to spot it. It's why you resort to such drastic gaps in age.

>b-but it was normal for hundreds, thousands of years!
So was slavery, don't make it good.