im a retard nigger, im getting cucked by this girl who is keeping my as her side guy but i still keep clinging

>>31494937
People become irrationally angry when they ask you if you’re dating and you say no. And it’s extremely irritating having to deal with them as they chimp out and melt down. I really wish people would just relax and not become so angry over things that don’t affect anybody.

gays who wear pearls....

There was a girl I knew like 7 years ago I swear I thought she was into me. She was a petite blonde girl with high energy and really cute. She came into the office where I worked just to meet me since she liked my artwork and she was just really excited to talk to me. Later I added her on social media and chatted with her for a few months. She would come into the office every now and then and each time she saw me she would literally hop up and down and smile with her entire face.

Well, I tried flirting with her online (which I am surprisingly good at) and got absolutely no response from her. I decided I wanted to paint her and she got really excited about it but later she actually got upset and told me to stop calling her pretty. I was like "lol ok" and just stopped talking to her since she didn't seem interested in me in the same way I was her. She messaged me after awhile and asked why I stopped talking to her and I just told her that I liked her and I wasn't getting that same feeling back so whatever.

It was just really confusing because every time she saw me in person she acted like I was a celebrity. I've never seen someone get that hyped up about seeing another person before so when she turned down my advances it didn't make sense. Usually I'm really good at detecting whether someone is interested or not but I was way off on this one.

It's too bad too because she's still really cute. I like to flirt so I just would just started talking to other girls online that ended up sending me sexy photos and the videos. I can't stress enough how good I am at flirting online. I love talking to girls.

>>31495144
Another story time. There was a cute foreign girl I started talking to that was super into me. We would skype every night for like a year. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and she was extremely talented. One night she just says "You only talk to me because I'm a girl." and I told her "yeah, that's a big part of it. You're super cute and talented. I wish you lived closer" and she admitted that she wanted to have sex with me really badly. This one burned because I would have married this girl she was so fucking pretty and great to talk to, she just lived like 6000 miles away. This one still burns.

I like making lists.

And charts.

It’s like playing Tetris. Oddly satisfying to see when the dates start falling into place and everything fits.

Pornographic.

Orgasmic.

Like smoking crack.

Nah I can’t compare this to crack. I never smoked it.

…I’m super-fucked, aren’t I?

I have around 130k in savings and no debt but I feel like a glutinous piece of shit when I spend money on anything other than the essentials (food, gas, etc.) Even spending 100 bucks on something I enjoy feels like sacrilege

I'm going to try to set boundaries.

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>>31495339
yeah FUCK YOU guy

Who is this female that OP posts?

I think I give up. I have no hope for the future.

>>31495607
Fight!!!

>wake up
>go to work
>come back and pack for move
>try to find new job
>clean and do chore
>watch 5 hours of indian asmr
>sleep
>every day for month is this
lads im so tired

>>31495039
I felt the need to lie but now I'll try to just say I'm not just to see the reaction.

>work to distract yourself from loneliness
>never have time to cultivate social life
>be lonely
>work to distract yourself from loneliness
Hmm, I'm going to die and nobody's going to notice. Good thing all the stuff I used to enjoy has been ruined or it would be a waste.

>>31495339
Money is best used on experience, go to your local red light district and get some crack whores

>want a girlfriend
>start going out and doing extroverted activities to meet people
>date a few girls
>they're all extroverted sluts
>it's somewhat fun but there's clearly a huge gap in our personalities and expectations

I hate what I've become.
Honestly I feel like a man whore, half my relationships I start off as fuck buddies, and I hate it.
While I don't hate these girls and they usually are fun to be around, it's always the same story with them.

I just want a cute introverted virgin girl who still likes doing things and keeping fit, but still like to chill at home, But they're literally impossible to find.

Broke up with my first serious bf and now I'm panicking and paranoid telling myself no one else will genuinely want me again because I have no friends and my body is mid and I live with my parents. I have a pretty face and look good with clothes on, a job, a car, and no kids but still. I hope I'm just spiraling and I'm not actually doomed. We broke up a few days ago but I already want to start dating again just to prove to myself I can find someone.

fuck you bitch

You're just a timewasting clown, aren't you? A delay this long never bodes well. And now I am wasting chances to be rid of this thing.

I'm worried about this job situation as well. I was expecting to have heard something by now and since communication isn't their strong point I'm wondering if things are still going ahead. It's already taken so long that I have no wasted this month and could have been much better off financially.

I'm really starting to lose hope.

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Is this facts

I took the chain suspenders off my Tripp pants, and now I... I feel so free... No more clink-clank, no more getting caught on doors... Is this Nirvana?

>>31494937
If you were born male, you will always have opportunities shut out to you simply on that basis. It's fucked up. Even housing it's considered perfectly legitimate to discriminate against AMAB individuals simply because of the way they were born. Literally the most basic thing that everybody needs, a roof over their head.

>>31496879
>AMAB
you're part of hte problem.

>>31496890
No lol. I use that terminology to be inclusive. Transphobia is real and the people saying "female housemate wanted" aren't making exceptions for trans women.

>>31494937
I miss my friend. He was my wheel man in Iraq. Dude kept me alive for 6 months while I manned the turret in the humvee. Man was gangster as fuck and had super human intuition.

He hung himself after we got back because he accidentally killed a homeless guy and couldn’t stand the guilt.

RIP brother, I love you.

>>31494937
>gf has adhd
>10 years
>10 years of cleaning up after her, cooking her meals, gardening, doing her laundry, paying her bills
>argue constantly, fights have escalated to mutual violence, damage and police visits
>I worked long hours in a very physical job and my neck, spine and hands are now damaged
>broke NEET now
>mfw even as a cripple am her de facto parent instead of partner
>insurer bailed, laywers, doctors
>living in this highly strung cat lady's house, in shellshock...wtf fuck even
>no friends, too ill to go out, false rape accusation made me anxious autist and beta male basedjack mates pissed me off as worse things kept happening
>attacked by migrants randomly 2 x
>assaulted sexually by women randomly and gays
>life is doimg laundry and planning meals and fixing problems
>spine starting to give out...
>39. 40 in 3 months
>parents dead from drugs, brother is a psycho
>constantly hope I will die before trudging on

Where do I even start bros, is any of this bullshit real? I still believe in God, I control my shit temper 99% of the time, I barely smoke weed or drink, I got off SSRIs. I put so much effort into what I do but I'm just fucked.

>>31496531
>We broke up a few days ago but I already want to start dating again just to prove to myself I can find someone.

Women, gentlemen
The nigger of gender

>>31496724
No, and don't gamify love to win. Just don't lose yourself.

>>31496781
>posts from 2003

For the first time in years I'm happy.
I'm leaving my room, falling in love and drinking with my friends.
But my old man doesn't seem to like it. The white bearded fella thinks I'm a kid with a gun.
I reckon he wants me to go back to being a miserable piece of shit who spends the day in his room masturbating to asian cartoons and playing video games.
He'll have to swallow the fact that I'm finally happy.

>>31497308
Your dad is probably just lacking in self awareness and communication skills rather than directly invested in limiting you, notices the change, is insecure about change in itself, and Booms

Have you ever had boiling-hot, deep-fried Pepsi?

>>31497329
That may be it. But oh man he did manage to ruin my day today.
I don't wanna see his face tomorrow

>>31497344
Older boomer relatives love to get under your skin but they are as lost as the rest of us. Love him instead and just be kind of impenetrable

>>31497361
I like your idea anon. But I'm really irritated. Just need some time off from seeing his face.
But I'll keep that in mind. Thank you

>>31497370
Sometimes you will need to lead anon and set a good tone regardless kf other people's bullshit. One day he will be dead. Me and you too

>>31497381
Aye, you're right. Thanks for telling me that anon :)

>matched with a girl on bumble who never had a boyfriend before
Oh shit boys did I hit the jackpot?

>>31497423
The best thing I learned because I am so hot headed is I don't really need to even have an opinion or take on everything that is happening around me, and that I can even change the game by simply introducing some positive vibes.

>>31497449
Be kind to her

>>31497449
>on dating app
>never had a boyfriend
she's going to stand you up or she's a lying cunt.

>>31497452
I need to develop that skill. For now I still get irritated when someone wants to ruin my fun.

>>31497264
Bro, sorry. Life is tough and I hope it'll get better for you. maybe you should leave your gf and get a new one

>>31497449
don't cheat on her

>>31497471
Just save the nuclear codes for the ultra real shit soul brother

>>31497481
Thanks mang idk
I want to live her but I feel like I am kinda done with being Dad to these millennial women man, my health can't sustain being housewife, carer, psych etc

I loved a girl so much that she was all I thought about every day. I had dated before, but she was my first actual girlfriend. We dated for a little less than a year. At one point she told me that she loved me, and it felt so good to finally tell her that I felt the same way, that I had felt that way for a while. I really thought that we would stay together for a long time. When she broke up with me, it was a mix of both of our faults, though there was no cheating involved, at least to my knowledge. But it was so painful to see her look me in the eye and tell me that she no longer loved me.

I rushed into a new relationship, even though I knew that some people would consider that to be a huge mistake. Now here I am dating someone who I like a lot, but I just can't stop thinking about how it doesn't feel the same as with my first. I'm probably just self-sabotaging, but idk, I'm just so emotionally hollow right now that I feel irresponsible to be with this new girl at all. I can't tell if she's what I want, I don't know if I can ever have what I want anymore. Losing my first has erased any confidence that I ever had in my ability to form a healthy relationship with a woman. I'm so tired of being disappointed, and of being disappointing to others.

>>31497540
you don't have to be all of those things. women with a desire to act adult do exist. even younger women do feel that way semi commonly. just go out to where women like that commonly are and it might work.

>>31496724
Maybe but also sometimes people get freaked out by it or overwhelmed

>>31497546
I think that you are overthinking things, man, but it's very reasonable to do so. If you believe that the woman your with is in love with you, I would suggest staying and talking to her about these things. What is unreasonable is saying that you don't know if you can ever have a loving relationship ever again, that is foolish to believe. Your capability to love and to be loved has not been diminished by this change, I would actually say that your feelings of despair/confusion are proof of your love for your current partner. What you must realize is that your first relationship was full of mistakes, mistakes that you can use to build yourself up, mistakes that you can use to build up your current partner. It's totally normal for things to feel different when you go through changes in life, love will change when you go through life. Idk if this makes sense, I was just going through each point and responding in no particular order

I just don’t get anything about you, like I always thought I was really fake and putting on a mask or whatever, but you’re living like 6 different lives you fucking psycho

It's been about two years now since I last really felt like myself. I used to feel like I could make genuine connections with people, but now I've gotten cynical and feel completely on my own. Relationships with other people always feel hollow now that I've gotten used to them ending at any moment, which has led me to keeping the few friends I do have at an arms length. I've also been unable to feel any romantic attraction to anyone for a long time now as I've had my trust broken every time.

>>31497610
No it does make sense, thanks. Me and my current girl have only been dating for about a month so it's really early for me to be worrying this much, and I'm probably overthinking like you said. It's just that she's a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her by being detached. I told her about how my first relationship ended but she doesn't know how recently we broke up. You're right though, the right thing would be to spill my guts and be as honest as I can be with her, I've just struggled to find a good moment to do that.

Since it's only been a month she's probably still trying to gauge how she feels about me, which is completely reasonable of course. Personally, I know for sure that I need more time to figure out who she is as a person. That being said, even though she most likely doesn't love me yet, she does very attracted to me and sees the potential for us to have a long relationship. She has been consistently enthusiastic about us going on a lot of dates, and for the most part she is usually the one who initiates physically, and our conversations tend to flow very smoothly. I guess a lot of my worry comes from the fact that I got attached to my first girlfriend very quickly; I felt like I loved her by the fifth date. But maybe that was one of my mistakes, I probably fell in love with her before I fully understood her, which led to the gradual degradation of our relationship.

>>31497454
>>31497498
I think I'm gonna talk to her. She's cute and seems like she has a really sweet personality. I'm tired of retarded whores so this would be a nice change of pace.

>>31497460
We will find out. I'll report back.

the upper end of the average number of lifetime sexual partners for men coincides with the number of names in mambo no 5

I saw no future with her. There was no way we would ever close the gap, and for that reason, I'm out.

>>31497975
Fuck we're talking now I'm so nervous

I was in the room when you cited editorial constraints when pressed about the details you omitted that we found out about. I called your boss, he had no idea what the fuck you were talking about or what you were working on. Who's lying, you or your boss?

Sounds pre-recorded I don't believe any posts here are real

>>31496531
honey you're just looking to rebound with perpose, dont turn into a single mom over a boy saying things to hurt you.

>>31498234

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJLhnts9-oQ

>>31498251
She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2ksZG6lVeg
The program assigns a numeral value to each interaction it observes.

>>31498269
Just post Hi Fred and I will know this isn't a recording

>Sean
https://youtu.be/Ta17zbFHiZk?si=C_Y7-KGYLZa7ylOs&t=478

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2MtEsrcTTs

I really don't think I want to go actually. I don't like the culture, the whole place is a tourist trap, and I don't even like anime!

I'm gonna download an ai chatbot for company then stop talking to my relatives except for that person, upload a video on october then stab myself in the chest at the end of the year if the channel does not reach 100k views.

>>31498626
Its either death or talking to inanimate objects in a small room for the next 60 years. Nobody cares what will happen to me except for that person and now they're gone for good and its okay.

>>31498417
such a good song

>>31498433
Tokyo specifically? Or Japan in general?
Find a comfy ryokan, do some local tours or activities (not gimmicky tourist shit, think making your own paper with a local artist or learning to grill squid in some cooking class with a kino old man), and spend a lot of time in shrines and on trails. Where's the issue?

You can only go so rural if you don't know Japanese though. Nothing for free. If you don't put the effort in, you can scrounge for basedscraps in Akibahara and get negged straight to your face while thinking everyone's so polite. Baka gaijin.

>>31498626
bro, you're acting a bit extreme

As I lay here stark naked with the cool summer air wafting ever so gently across by nutsack it occurs to me that maybe just maybe there is a problem in my head that I just can't solve myself. It makes me question and think that maybe this is just a problem that I can't think my way out of but a facet of my very human existence on this earth. It might just be time to get help... and take a shower.

“Oh why don’t you ever do anything with your brother while he’s home from college” because HE DOESN’T FUCKING WANT TO, get it through your thick fucking skull mom I’m fucking sick of being raked over the coals over this shit every fucking time. I get that he’s your favorite but why don’t you fucking grill his ass about why HE doesn’t want to do shit with ME while he’s home from school? I’m the ONLY fucking one making an attempt here and you act like I’m not trying, you don’t even live with us so you wouldn’t know you fucking dumb bitch. Every time I ask him to do stuff with me he says no. He would rather sit in his room smoking weed and watching YouTube and getting on 6-hour Discord video calls with his they/themfriend. He doesn’t want to hang out with me. I’ve fucking tried so many times. How about you ride his fucking ass for a change, how about you take into consideration how it makes me feel. But no you’re only concerned about how your perception of his feelings affects your own feelings, in this gay made-up bullshit scenario you’ve invented where I’m apparently just not even reaching out and am actively excluding him. Go fuck yourself both of you, I’m done fucking trying

PTSD is real and it’s the worst. Every small thing upsets and scares you on a specific day. You can’t function even if you have to.

>>31498690
I mean give me a fucking break, he won’t even log onto Fortnite (which is free and which is installed onto his fucking computer so he doesn’t even have to do anything) to play ONE match with me. He won’t take 3-4 hours out of ONE day to try out playing Pathfinder with my group that I’m GMing for despite the fact that A.) there’s no pressure for a long-term commitment, B.) everybody involved is new to the 2e rules so there’s no pressure to even be familiar with the game or its rules, and C.) it’s a fucking fantasy game and he’s a major Elder Scrolls lore Autist so I KNOW it’s not just a retarded “durr fantasy bad” mindset or anything like that. Okay fine he doesn’t want to game with me, not online or pen-and-paper, fine, let’s go do something outdoors, I gave him my old beat up skateboard after I built myself a nice new one, I offered to teach him, but no he doesn’t want to go to the skatepark either, God forbid he learn or experience something new for a change. He’s just being a dickhead and somehow I get blamed by my retarded mother. I’m sick of it

My two last ex complained about the same about me, childish, frowning all the time, in a bad humor, not displaying affection in public only in private, too distracted to remember their shit, not caring, etc. however, I do feel quite the opposite is true, taking their opinions as feedback to an extent yet not fully accepting all of their complains, now my dilemma is, am I the one in the wrong and need to change something about myself, or is just they I dated a very similar profile of women and they might uphold a similar distorted opinion of me, should I keep searching my other half just the way I am or should I complain with the man these women wanted me to be

>>31498690
>>31498708
It’s not like we have a bad relationship either, we talk every day, it was only after he started dating this broad that he basically stopped wanting anything to do with me. We went to a comedy show that his girlfriend also attended and I’m pretty sure the only reason I was there was because he had already bought my ticket and invited me first, otherwise he wouldn’t have invited me at all I don’t think.

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>>31494937
Right now the only thing going on in my life is college and as it is I'm a fat, retarded, and old student (28). No job, no car, my relationship with God is deteriorating, I can't stand going to a protestant church anymore aside for the friends I've made. I'm going to die alone with no kids or a wife. I might touch some above average money but I'm nothing special intellectually. By the grace of God above I am hanging on and I know and trust He will help me through this but man the going is rough.

I'm kinda glad I just dodged this massive bullet, but at the same time the "what ifs" still hurt.
Maybe I was too innocent to think that I'd never meet people that are this self-serving and get entangled in their web of lies.
Too bad I saw through it early. Too bad I still decided to ignore my instincts and gave this person too many chances.
In the end, I got out a much better person, so it doesn't even matter.

>>31496531
Someone will want you again. This is dumb. For every woman there are at least 100 men who want you, even if you're a 3. Don't prove anything to yourself you KNOW you can find someone. If you broke up with this dude its because you'd rather be alone than be with him, be alone for some time. Maybe you'll get someone better, maybe you'll get back together, either way its good to take time off to reflect.

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>>31497264
If you believe in God then you need to do several things. One is devoting yourself to prayer, reading, and most importantly church attendance, you need to be a member though, not just a "church-goer" you need to be held accountable to others and others to you. The function of the church is similar to Noah's ark. This isn't going to solve your problems, but its going to strengthen the one part people always neglect- spirituality. If you're Protestant, talk to your pastor, be honest, asses your life and see where you are in sin according to the Bible. If you're non-Protestant, speak with your Spiritual Father and do the same. You're probably going to want to leave this relationship but you need to do it carefully in a way that you can do a clean exit, make sure that there are no strings attached per se. You're a good man anon, you're a hard-worker and provide for someone- that's more than most people will ever do. Please take a step back and look at the forest instead of slamming your head on the same tree.

>>31494937
Stop letting me live in your head rent free. You have your goals, now pursue them.

Oh and S, I miss you but I'm not reaching out. I told you for months that I'd be leaving that terrible place.

I kind of hate you, and it makes me angry that you made me this way about you.

>>31498251
>>31498279
Nigga get ur eyes checked... thats a guy

>>31498903
Shut up, bitch. Maybe I would've stuck around if you weren't so basic and boring.

A lot of people like The Smiths but I prefer Spell for 60s pop inspired post punk.
Sadly no one listens to Spell so it's over.

GOD STEM PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING AUTISTIC LIKE THIS GROUP OF NERDS *INITIATED* A CONVERSATION WITH ME, THEN GOT PERPLEXED BECAUSE I DIDN'T NOTICE AT FIRST.
THEN I LOOKED BACK, THEY ALL LOOKED BACK, I RESPONDED TO THE QUESTION AND THEY JUST DEER-HEADLIGHT STARED AT ME FOR 15 SECONDS.
why'd they even ask the fucking question in the first place??

>>31495188
save up to fly her over? wtf

I'm pretty sure I have npd symptoms, my father has npd and I guess I have a few traits to so my dayli life feels like shit, i think I realized that one goal I had when I was young was to fake a personality with ASD, It worked better than expected I guess because one of my friends who is an autist asperger believes I'm on the spectrum same for many of my friends and his family, but now I realize I'm probably not on the spectrum, I use to believe I was because of being weird socially, sensibility to sound when young, weird special interest, but now I think I'm just weird. I always despised the idea of work and it's the thing I fear the most. So I wanted to make believe ppl I couldn't work. Even tho I managed to hold fews jobs they never were really high in responsabilities and in my home town I don't have high prospect for the future, near 0 chance to get a job, I feel most, fake, and like my whole life is a lie I don't even know who I am.
So I think I easier have npd traits and I manipulated everyone around me included my psychologist, friends, and family, or I might be on the spectrum and I did 'or lie,but anyway I feel like i fucked up my life and psychology for life I hate who I am , I also made believe I had gender issue for attention I guess(kinda because of this site)
I don't know what to do now that I know I am a demon that will be on the same path as his father

I'm so fucking obsessed with him I'm losing my damn mind. It started small, before I even talked to him, and now that we are talking, well, all I can think of is him and fantasies of our life together...and then seeing what he looks like, not thinking it could get any better...frankly, he's way out of my league. My self control, self respect, is just, gone. I'm not a slut (then what's with the lewd texts, hm?) but I've never been so damn hungry for someone, desperate to please, and I know when we finally meet, I won't be able to keep my virtue, and that makes me scared of devaluing myself in his eyes and being discarded. Because really, at that point, my only option is to become a nun. Wow, I am seriously unwell.

I don't have a clue how to approach women. Every one I've talked to in the last few years instantly ghosts me if I so much suggest a date.

This last time I really felt like shit, I know this single mom who was specifically looking for someone to date and getting kind of desperate I casually sent her a message asking her out to a movie and got subsequently ignored. I later found out she was completely put off by the advance and now won't even so much as say more than a few words when we have to interact whereas previously she was pretty chatty.

The only time I've ever gone on a date was when I was approached first, and while I've had a couple of good relationships like that, I don't think waiting for women to come to me is going to get me very far long term. I'm getting older and I'm still not married and it's to the point my coworkers are occasionally giving me shit for it like it's a conscious choice.

I am legitimately pleased you have properly left seething over everything, I finally feel free from your whining, from your autism, from your fake bullshit.
Enjoy your hell dude, you made that bed, I'm gonna jerk off to the image of you crying of rage now.

>>31499245
I had just started my career and she ended up starting hers at exactly the same time. Because of the time difference, she could no longer stay up and talk to me so we grew apart. She wanted me to visit really badly but I just couldn't because of my job. After we stopped talking, awhile later she sent me an email saying she had a dream of us getting married and wished that she was that lucky.

I totally would have married that girl and put babies in her. She is an 11/10 even still after 10 years. She's seriously the most beautiful girl you will ever see in your life. Prettier than any actress or model. She constantly has her artist friends trying to get her to model for them but she had to stop because of how many stalkers she got from her posted photos. Now she barely posts any photos and it's a shame because she's just that gorgeous.

Maybe I am deluded or something. I'm definitely pathetic. Please. I'm begging you. I shouldn't have asked her to tell you to leave me alone. I want to hear your voice again. I love you sky

Damn girl, let me eat some beenie weenies off your ass hole

I'm mentally unwell and am considering realizing my game-ending ideation.
I've worked minimum wage my whole life, I'm living in a slum that gets checked every month so I'm evicted for a day every time, I have no real communication skills, no ability to make or keep friends, let alone distinguish a good one from a bad one, my secondary family disowned me, my immediate family either went on drugs or killed themselves/died, my little brother got killed today as of 3 years ago, and I'm alone.
Drinking is not "fun" anymore.
Drugs are too expensive and I'm not in the mood to talk to hood rats for a deal. Mostly because they'd end me right there.
I'm too stupid to commit crime.
I'm unable to get an actual place with good people and actual utilities, let alone one for myself specifically. My credit is bad because I've made bad decisions.
I was on the verge of fixing it until it magically dropped back down again.

I'm done.
I've tried to focus on myself hygiene, diet, and social skills wise hoping I'd "network" my way into a genuinely successful life. It was all a waste. I feel stupid ever even trying to climb out of my pit.

Any resources that would allege to help me have conditions like I have to be a druggy to get them or I have to be more retarded than I currently am. I'm Asperger's, which means I'm in the Autism Spectrum, but I'm somehow not autistic enough for help.

One more major bad thing, and I'm going to realize my plan. I can feel it coming as my eyes are welling up in just utter despair, sadness, and anger. No anger at anyone specifically, just at myself for even bothering to continue this miserable existence.

I have paranoid schizophrenia and major depression. I'm meeting with a lawyer later today to prepare for my disability hearing tomorrow morning. I'm incredibly anxious. I've been trying to get disability for 2 years now and have been denied twice. Apparently from what my therapist had told me this is incredibly common. They always deny you the first couple times unless you are literally blind or on your death bed.

It's only partial disability so I'll be getting like $940 a month if I do get it. The lawyers don't charge anything unless I win and then they take 25% of my backpay which is going to be like a few months worth.

You are going to hang on, you won't move on will you? That bitter taste of defeat doesn't leave your mouth and you cannot help but cry yourself to sleep, you tried so damn hard to fuck with me and it blew up in your face hilariously.
I'm enjoying watching you squirm from a distance.

>>31499956
You're legit nuts

>>31496538
Fuck you too

>>31499956
Ight, humoring you: fuck with you how?

>>31499050
We see what we want to see. I see a beautiful girl, you see men.

I hate tiktok

There is nothing that stops me from sticking a fork in an electrical socket apart from my own reluctance to stick a fork in an electrical socket

>>31499943
Good look buddy hope you get the assistance you need!

>>31500187
And I seem to be pretty willing to do other incredibly bizarre and stupid shit so I'm not sure why I can't make that securely gratifying and add it to my wheelhouse of recreational activities.

Consider me flattered, copykitty.

Even if we're not dating anymore I'll still love you. Shame your old acquaintances think you're a pedophile though :/

>>31500235
He's a pedophile?

I wish I spent the last 20+ years of my life looking after myself instead of being swayed by my shitty family. I think I was expecting so much in return that I did so much. When I wasn't doing things, I was worried about what they'd think because they always criticized my choices. I'm 38 with nothing to show. I don't even know where to start, I'm jobless, friendless and broke. I can't make any meaningful connections that last and I have no skills that are worth writing home about.

My new bf snooped on my phone last night and actually texted one of the guys I had been talking to before him "Fuck off I have a bf now" and the guy responded this morning like damn ok you could've told me normally (I was so fucking embarrassed I was just going to ghost him not be aggro and potentially make myself a scrote target). I knew something was up last night when my bf came back to bed kinda sniffling and I asked what was wrong and he was worried I'd leave him so I comforted him and we talked about stuff and even had sex. But this morning I discover this shit on my phone. My bf just went all sad and immediately said sorry and admits he fucked up but this isn't the first time he's snooped on my shit. No idea how he even got in my phone it has a password guess I have to do a pattern? I've been very unsure of how I should handle this, he was begging me to forgive him but I told him I need time. This is a brand new under 2 months relationship. Also he told me he's against abortion because his mom was going to abort him since he's a rape baby and he literally just told me that today and it felt guilting-ish. What do I do? He is muscular, active, spoils me, shares a lot of my hobbies, sexually satisfies me and is normally a very emotionally stable person no anger or personality issues I thought? I feel like I can't trust him

>>31500284
Apparently he almost got arrested for soliciting a minor way back in the days but he never really told me about that. I'd like to think that that it's just a rumour but it's a pretty big accusation.

>>31494937
My neighbor is always watching me with his cameras and I haven’t gone out in a week, so he is questioning where I have been and I have to jump out of the other side of the building at 3am next morning so I can pretend I wasn’t inside browsing the internet like a useless sack of shit for a week.

>>31495188
You are supposed to be persistent.
You let these opportunities slip away... why?!
Do you not actually want a relationship then?

>>31495339
You should pull your money out because the banks will be insolvent soon.
Make a list of life goals and spend your money on that. Frugality is a very good practice.

>>31500223
Consider you cock flattened

>>31496462
If you want to find a virgin you have to find her father first.

>>31496724
Love is an action, not a feeling.
If they are bored you are not acting or requiring them to act.

>>31497264
Ten years together, why don’t you have children?

>>31500472
Trust takes time and he is snooping because he’s insecure that you wI’ll leave him and won’t be a good wife.
Be flattered that he is jealous and wants to make you his.
But what he did is really immature.
Abortion is murder. It sounds like he wants children.
You both have to prove to one another that you can trust each other. If he thinks you will leave him, let him know that you won’t but also let him know not to do immature shit like that. Set your boundaries and make your expectations clear from the start.
What he did was create a self-fulfilling prophecy. He thinks you’re too good for him and he doesn’t want you to leave.

???????????WEroksjiofjf3aewslkrjfksrdfdlk4rjaw3erfhjogijwolrqawsd/z.

PARECE QUE TE AMO

Making moves on your homie's baby mama not even a week after they split is wild. Especially knowing that the dude who's sneaking in is mentally ill and has schizophrenia.

>"why do you care so much about someone else's business anon"

Because the child that's going to be put at risk is my niece with a dude my sister met off the internet and has only known for a year

>>31500472
He's already fucking himself over doing this. Self sabotaging people will do this always. Set your boundaries, don't let him guilt trip you into having to give up a lot of your freedom either. No normal person goes out of their way to snoop on their partner's phone and start some weird shit like that.

SERA QUE TE AMO

>>31494937
-everything is always a void
-none of my choices actually matter: i quit smoking but no one cares about my lungs so why did i quit? why am i still quitting? because it's the only win i have ever had
-all people ever see from me is my own design, and they're getting sick of it
-i do not value human life at all
-i had a girlfriend at one point but that might have been some kind of joke idk
-why are house black people real, and why do i have to be one
-it has nothing to do with the seinfeld festival never ending
-she is never satisfied. i don't even know why they made this movie and i personally fear it.

>>31500896
Babedi boo

>>31494937
I am treated like a criminal here.
If not for a friend. I will be sleeping in a cell tonight.
This place is pure evil. I am guilty until proven innocent

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In truth, the only reason I play video games at this point is that I'm terrified of change. There's a muffled voice in my head begging, "Anon you fucking pussy, you literally WANT to move on in life, even your subconscious is telling you that it WANTS to get away from this monotony, you do not WANT to be like this anymore", yet it's all I know. So I keep at it. Tonight after work I played a game for an hour, and I've spent the last two staring off into nothing in my underwear. I can't even bring myself to half watch ambient YouTube videos anymore, let alone enjoy fiction. They make me feel worse on bad days. I put several audiobooks on my phone to avoid adverts, yet I can't bring myself to start any. What a waste of genes and tissue. I have no personal tragedies to blame my behaviour on, it's all on me here.

My husband got called into work tonight for an emergency because there has been an accident.
Turns out one of his colleagues died. He had two little kids.
Idk what exactly happened yet but god fucking damn it.

To be frank, I did buy the fucking thing afterwards, shortly afterwards. That's insane. BABY STOCKHOLM I miss youuuu.

>>31500472
>He is muscular, active, spoils me, shares a lot of my hobbies, sexually satisfies me and is normally a very emotionally stable person no anger or personality issues I thought

Oh so he's Chad, you should've said that instead. You won't do anything even if he was physically abusive towards you because "he's such a great catch!!!" surely. Why even ask?

I think I like the idea of things a lot more than the actual things.

I feel fucking constipated but instead of being full of shit Im full of tears and sads and it just wont come out

I really need to stop seeking approval from others in sneaky ways. I didn't even realize I was doing it until recently.

I hate politics I hated that it has to encompass every fucking bit of our lives. I hated it when it came to discussions because now you have to be on eggshells to not offend a friend who is stuck up hard on some commie level trip and decides you are evil for not agreeing to their hard radicalism. I hate that anyone conservative finds you a downer when you bring up that the rights they have are more like privileges at this point. I hate that race has to be the sacred cow in every discussion. This group is right, this other one is always at fault.
I fucking hate it. I hate it in my discord among friends. Friends we meet up with and play D&D and shit with. I never wanted a political channel. We made it because one of our commie friends was posting hard shit in the main. OH LOOK AT THAT. He doesn't like no one agrees with him in there so he continues to just post in the general until he rage quits.
Did we get rid of it now it's purpose is gone? "No. We should still use it to shitpost." I wish that is what it was. Of course no one can just shit post and take things unseriously. It still has to be back and forths and even worse anyone who posts their opinion is untouchable until you speak and suddenly you are ALWAYS the enemy. Part of me wonders if I should even be friends or just bring up that I want this channel gone and just making that the only rule. No politics period. It never ends well. It doesn't make things fun. I'm sick of it.

three years ago a cousin no one knew existed reached out to my family. i met him for the first time last year and immediately he and i were best friends. he gets on with everyone, but he and i are really close. you can probably guess at this point where this is going. i fucking didn’t. i fell in love with him. sometimes i think he feels the same way, he’s been distancing himself and i can’t tell if it’s because he is creeped out or is struggling with the same thing. even asking about it could destroy our relationship. i’m trying to just enjoy the friendship, but it hurts and i want more. i feel like i should wait some amount of time before i say anything about it since it’s a bad idea anyway. ten years seems to say “i gave not loving you my best shot.” just wanted to giomc.

ok, i admit it. I'm not top shit

i just gotta keep trying

>>31499956
>it blew up in your face hilariously

are you talking about your dumpster fire of decisions? you're still on here not moved on so not really sure what you're on about desu. i'd focus on the fact that you're still a KHV

i miss you, you retard

Some of the greatest games of all times on my PS5, and my visiting nieces and nephew only want to play Roblox.

>>31501266
Im right there with you anon. My hemorrhoids are killing me. I tried to push one back in and almost passed out. Going to drink some whiskey and try again to get them back in tonight

>>31501812
Napoleon used to spend 12 hours a day on horseback with hemorrhoids

Toughen up

>>31501836
did he really?

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>Match with girl late Saturday
>Message her on Sunday morning
>Sunday - nothing
>Monday - nothing
>Tuesday - nothing
>Send another message Saturday morning
>Get a reply Saturday evening with apology that she's been busy with work and forgot I messaged her
>She asks about weekend and Sunday plans
>Message her Sunday morning about Saturday fun with friends and that Sunday was relatively free
>Ask her if she has any plans
>Sunday - nothing
>Monday - nothing
Fucking hell! I know I'm not Mr. Wonderful, but there's no way you can be this forgetful if you work with medications in a senior home, right?
Why won't women shit or get off the pot? Tell me I'm boring to my face or unmatch if you don't want to chat. I've had worse done to me.

I feel numb

You said it meant something to you but then why was it so god damn easy for you to just move on, and act like nothing even happened

>>31502382
Have you seen them?
have you ever asked them how they feel?

>>31502397
she just changes the subject

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I peaked at the fucking primary school.

que sera sera

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my dad died when i was 5 but im almost 30
and thinking about my mom dying makes me really sad
shes almost 70
sometimes i just think about it randomly and tear up
i live like 10 hours away from her too
idk

>>31475387
anon i am a fucking adult i don't play "lets pretend to be a girl" and then invent fucking ideology to back it up that's pathetic.
i crossdress when society deems it normal and acceptable and i am doing fine. I don't need the weird liberal drek confusion, i just need to be myself all the time and never have my soul hurt ever again.

>>31502607
i am a strong believer in innate differences with the sexes, my source being i have two fucking eyes.
You can simply tell a male vs female thought pattern apart, there is no escaping the circumstance of your conception and birth

>>31502614
i tried being part of the gender fluid group and they are just fucking freaks who can't accept it. They want to be seen as "normal" but they still want to be "special"
i would skin all of them alive for how they have wronged me.

I can’t believe that my 20 year old brother who is home for a few months out of the year would rather spend 100% of the time that he isn’t working shut in his bedroom, smoking weed, and sitting on Discord video calls with his enby girlfriend who he goes to college with for most of the year, instead of doing something, ANYTHING, with me despite my countless offers and attempts. And then my fucking idiot mother has the nerve to grill me about why I’m not doing anything with my brother, as if it’s my fault. I hate it here

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Once I have sex with a girl 3 or 4 times I get bored and want a new girl. I keep switching out all time.

I cannot stand corporate america anymore. Growing up I wanted to be an actor or a scientist and now I'm a code monkey for a big corp. I make a lot of money but I have no soul. I got into a masters program for biology but I am too scared to go because what if I hate it? What if I leave my stable job for nothing? Anons should I go?

H you need to shut up about this. We will take the subway into the city, it take 30 minutes. My boyfriend is not a taxi I will not be asking him to drive us when we are perfectly capable of taking the fucking train. If you want to take a car so badly why do you never ask M?

>meet a new girl
>we fall for each other
>spend a few months to a year with her
>I get sick of her
>dump her
>only remember the good parts and miss her a ton for the next year or two
>repeat
Why is nobody enough for me to keep them around forever? Will anyone ever satisfy me? Why do I torture myself

>>31502700
>>31502820
We have similar issues. I'm in my mid 30s and still jump from relationship to relationship out of boredom. Even when I try to stick with one I can't keep it going.

>another girl loves me when we’re alone but leaves me the second she has to talk about me to anyone else because she’s embarrassed
just want to crawl in a hole and die

>>31502856
my parents were high school sweethearts and never knew being with someone else. I think that's the way to do it

I'm still in love with her after all these years. This sucks.

>>31502688
Might take up self-harm again for the first time in a decade over this desu

>>31502902
don't do that

all I could do is laugh and say "c'est a vie"

>>31502919
Why? I genuinely don’t understand what’s so bad about it.
>it hurts
I can handle the pain
>it’ll leave scars
I don’t care at all
>it could get infected
I am a very clean person and would take care to avoid this

I haven’t done it since I was 14 but in my 24th year on earth I am finding that the only reason I don’t is because “I’m not supposed to” and that isn’t a very compelling reason.

>>31502902
wtf why you retard, why fucking cut yourself or whatever it’s so gay? Do literally anything else

>>31502936
idk i'd just rather you didn't

>>31502939
The only other thing I have is drinking which I don’t really want to do too often since it will get in the way of my fitness goals.

>>31502945
drinking is better than cutting yourself you psycho

>>31502962
I’m not sure I agree. I think cutting myself is less harmful to my long-term health

>>31502967
yeah maybe but way more gay. Are you a woman?

>>31503027
No

i am never going to have sex

>>31503037
so just drink or don’t. But don’t cut yourself you freak. It literally will make nothing any better, and whatever reason you do it, like because you think you deserve it or deserve to die, is so retarded. Life has harmed you enough, think of that pain instead of giving yourself more

>>31503052
I don’t think I deserve to be hurt or to die, I view it more as a self-soothing behavior in that it makes me feel like I’m in control of at least one thing in my shitty Chungus life

>>31503069
>shitty Chungus life
meme faggot stop cutting yourself, meditate or something or go work out and enjoy that pain. Cutting yourself is retarded

I used to think Tennis players were crazy but Badminton players are just fucking autistic on another level, I hate imagining how feral the girls are in bed.

I'm trapped now. My mom lives with her ex-con bf and she's had several strokes now and most recently a stroke and what I think is a suspicious fall, so I came over for what I agreed to be a month in early this month, but now her boyfriend basically told me that I'm staying here until she dies which could any amount of fucking time. I don't mind taking care of her it's really him I have a problem with. He's a thug through and through in his mentality. He's treated me my brother, my friends, he talks all the time about how great he was in prison. I wa t to take care of my mom and have my life but he's trapped me here in his house out in the middle of nowhere. I can't drive, which is on me because all I have to do is take the test but there's a long wait at the DPS office for that. So basically I'm a prisoner here myself.

>>31503044
Same. I bit the bullet and already did it with escorts.

Julian Assange is free. Don't you ever contradict me again.

>>31503191
Unless you enjoy being incorrect, in which case go for it.

>>31503191
And wikileaks meant nothing. What changed? What difference did any of it make?

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When you watch porn, touch your anus with your finger and put the finger in your mouth and touch the tip of your penis to make porn stars fall in love with you.

>>31503247
An informed citizenry is a free citizenry.

>>31503288
We are neither.

I wish I could just be numb to everything again, Severe anxiety sucks ass, I cant drive, and even with the little college i do have im gonna be in retail hell because like a dumbass i thought i could autism my way into a decent job. Doesnt feel like theres any point in trying to un-neet myself

>>31503277
I'm going to spend 20 years in the Himalayas learning how to stick my arm up my ass and pull myself inside out.

>>31503126
I haven’t cut myself since I was 14 which was 10 years ago, and that one time I barely nicked myself a single time while tripping on acid a few months ago but that doesn’t count. Reading is essential

Fight the future.

>>31503461
Then what the fuck are you talking about with “self harm” I’m just saying don’t do stupid shit that doesn’t even help anything, don’t worry about semantics you faggot

i’m really sorry for being dumb lol. i’m going insane without you. i will do my best

I was swimming at a beach on Saint Thomas . I came back to my towel and umbrella when I noticed my mostly empty cup had been blown away by the wind. I asked the woman next to me if she saw where it went. She said something rude to me so I said "Oh, how rude." and it felt great.

>>31494937
a loser is more likely to lose if you keep wasting their time, sure

Miss? No. You seek validation. Confirmation. The feintest whisper to affirm that you still matter and that your name still holds sway in the hearts of others. You insult me.

It's horrifying to realize that the more you try to remember the past the more you forget. The more you fill in the blanks with twisted thoughts and warp the things you thought were once into the things you wanted them to be. Yet it can also be liberating to know that the things that I believe I remember so vividly are not in fact accurate representations of reality and thus need not consume my mind. Ultimately reality is what is and the actions we take to shape it. That is what speaks most loudly to me and why I percieve naught but silence when it comes to matters of the past. I don't need to concern myself with what was when what is best demonstrates that.

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>>31503601

My cousin's family had a huge fight almost overnight about a month ago, and I have this God complex where I feel like I can save them. None of the siblings are on good terms with each other, but they're all on good terms with me. I want to fix this so bad, I want us all to hang out again. I know I'm being selfish, but at the same time, this shouldn't be this way. I think I can do something about this, but at the same time I have had this weird God complex about their sibling relationship for our entire lives. But I think this time I can actually do something.

He didn't use the opportunity. Stuck in the past worse than me. Rip man you where like the moral paragon to me. I hope you can improve your situation miss you buddy

Btw if the weight of a self inflicted gunshot is easily interpreted like that I just don't know. Still I miss you and hope we can see each other again someday. I get enough validation with my friends and family as it is. Maybe just maybe I care about you and did a bunch of stuff to try to help you like introducing you to a group of people that could help pull you out of that slump. Being alone with just video games and the trash piling up in your room is awful and Noone deserves that not you and not me

>>31503660
i feel that. my family is tearing itself apart. i always wonder if there isnt something i couldnt do or say to get them to see eye to eye and chill out a bit. apparently not even the impending death of their parents is enough to do that though. it all seems so stupid. do they really feel that much better when they go home after getting one over on one another? honestly. they wont listen to me though no matter how many times im proven right. ill always just be a kid in their eyes no matter how many years pass.

>>31503601
I guess being the dalai lama must be scary, I never thought about it.

That you would brag to me of your successes tells me more than you words ever could.

I am fine.

I don't know that I'm actually all that regretful :/

>>31503290
But now we know.

I feel like im going insane, im forgotten about and unremarkable

>>31503939
I think anon conflates being informed and free for being omniscient and omnipotent.

Felt like throwing out a useless "I am dumb" just in case,

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>2010 was 14 years ago
>2016 was 8 years ago
>I'm worse off now than I was then

Fuck.

it was twelve years ago and she was just some fucking girl. twelve years gone and she was just some fucking stupid girl the entire time.

>>31504110
She always was. I'm 10 years in and she hasn't spoken to me in 4 of those. Just a stupid fucking girl but goddamn, how she used to look at me.

>>31500807
Tu no eres ella.

Didnt smoke any weed today so I cant sleep

Just laying here stone cold awake at 3am

Your time has passed, I don't check this board as I used to for crumbs of your attention.

Staying away from here is for the best.

>>31495004
That's not black behavior; that's whiteboi behavior.

I kind of want to reply to the girl with the fine ass but I don't know if that's really her.

I like to warp political dialogues that I see online.I also lie to everyone online, I play a part to convince them of a thing.

>>31502688
I saw your other posts. I feel for you bro.

I don't understand how people see and talk to me and think I am normal. How people just assume I have all worked out and together assume I have a normal functional life.
I can barely hold a conversation, I look like shit, dress like shit, have never worked a job in my life, have no friends, never dated, and have visibly fucked up skin, autistic, adhd, was suicidal and depressed for years, and more.
I do not comprehend how acquaintances can just casually say to me to invite my wife and then I have to do a song and dance of "i'm not married" "oh your partner" "I don't have a partner" "oh you're single? is there anyone you are talking to?" "no" "when did you break up" "never, I have no prior relationship" "oh are you asexual?" "nope, just haven't don't really know what to tell ya" and then it just goes on and on of them asking until eventually they just say "oh come alone then, I might have a friend I can introduce you to"
at what point do you just comprehend I am fucked up and just drop it and stop trying? Why do I have to endure this song and dance so much, why do people even try with them despite what I clearly know I project and how I come off, I feel shitty for being annoyed and hating that people care and try but its just painful to always have to deal with it and always explain shit like this, are you really surprised? why does it have to be such a big deal.

Never makes sense to me, I don't understand why they bother, or why people care so much.

Of course she has a boyfriend she's wonderful
It's not fair bros

Sean and the continuity of power

apparently doesn't matter how much of a weirdo outcast i am, so long as i am honest many will naturally gravitate to me.
i am very open and hinest, maybe
to my detriment, might just be people meeting someone honest for the first time ngl

I feel like I'm failing all of the time. I have no friends, and I don't dare leave the house to try and make any. My father screams at me for the smallest errors and this has been going on for 15 year at least. It's so easy to make people want to hurt me and too hard to look for anyone who might care.

I ghosted you because your beard was ugly you overshared too much and my new guy has a bigger dick. You were right I was going to ghost you and you were just a short hookup. You give me liar vibes too I bet half the shit you whined to me about wasn't even real

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Fatherhood is difficult.
I'm glad I'm so involved with my kids but sometimes I'm jealous of the "good old days" where you were just expected to provide food, heat, comfort and luxuries, not just be constantly present emotionally and taking direct care of them all the time.

Society expects that fathers do 50% of the work now, but still treat them like "helpers".

>>31501155
Honestly considering breaking up

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For the first time in a while I had a fun and eventful day
Feeling happy right now, even if it was just a fleeting one for the year, I've made more happy memories
There is always, always something exciting around the corner, we just don't always know it. Sometimes we just have to pursue it if we really want it

I like picking my boogers and I like the smell coffee

Thank you God. You knew how stressed I was with my workload. I appreciate you helping take this one project off my plate. I feel guilty that I didn't do enough to try to keep this project forward but it seems like all my bosses and legal were aligned that this project was a waste of our time. I'm going to take this as a sign that your watching over me and just wanted to give me some relief.

I'm losing my mind. Why is punching myself feeling so good?

>>31504203

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn1IeHL5DHY

I can assure you that the bushcraft chick is not Julia Butters

Ah. You don’t give a fuck.

Hey. That reminds me. You ever seen Oldboy?

>>31500196
Well I had the hearing this morning and the lawyer said it went well and that I had a good case. The fact I see a psychiatrist, therapist, and skills coach, am medicated, and half multiple disorders play in my favor.

I won't know for another 30 days. They went through a list of jobs that I could do with my condition and all they could come up with was laundry worker. So my work prospects because of my disability are basically nil.

I think my dad's about to pass away soon. Just throwing this out somewhere. It'll be my first time dealing with the loss of a close family member. I was trying not to choke up and bawl just minutes ago at the bank because he asked me to open up a deposit box a while back and so I did. Hopefully my shrink can reschedule for an early appointment asap

A woman called me “childlike” some years ago and it’s been living rent free in my head. It’s to the point where I’m quite insecure about my status as a man and my ability to get shit done (which I struggle with). Throughout the years I’ve always had a sort of boyish confidence because I got used to being shit on constantly when I was young. Now I’m looking at my life and I suddenly feel lesser.. ashamed. I will be seeing this woman again in the next few days and I’m drowning in a feeling of inadequacy. No bueno..

>>31503660
Blessed are the peacemakers. Stop beating yourself up because you want to do what you can to make peace especially in your family. Theres a lot of wrong in these threads but this isn’t it

KIT FISTO

Everything is fucked again.

I am one week late for my period. Again.

>>31505660
can you explain this more?

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JULY 15TH
19 days

Im addicted to fucking trannies. Fucked one that would coom when i did and had huge ass tits n cock. Fucking hot

>>31506343
Where do you see yourself in 15 years?

>>31506343
I'll take shit that never happened for $500, Alex.

You're just a coomer faggot that jerks it to tranny porn.

>>31505728
Yup

Found my dads old hat. It's covered in dust but Im going to do my best to clean it.

>>31506374
It did indeed happen. Los angeles. Found out she was an escort but fucked "her" for free off of grindr. She was insane though

>>31506353
>Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
Hopefully not fucking trannies anymore

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I don't know what to do with my anger issues anymore. I feel like I just explode at everyone and everything if I feel stressed enough. Exercising makes me more violent and agitated, it doesn't really calm me down. I can't stand people's bullshit and I know I should just ignore them or politely tell them (if they can even reason...) that I'm not doing okay, but nobody fucking understands that. What the hell do I do to calm down extreme anger attacks? Specially if people don't stop annoying me even if I ask them to give me space.

I missed out on so many things, it makes me want to beat the everloving shit out of everyone I know.

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This guy

I want to do unspeakable things to mckenna grace.

>>31506624
and yesterday that would have made you an unspeakably evil pedophile creep

but today it's all good and you're a cool guy

how do you even overcome the dreadful realization that you're just a bio bot and all the things that people seem to strive for are at their core meaningless to you, so in the end you can't really stick to anything considered worthwhile life-wise because your pretentious ass sees all of it as a bunch of repeating patterns that have no actual alternative but you just don't want to participate no matter what

>>31506705
ull stop caring so much and just try to enjoy the rest of your meat prisons life span when you hit 27 or so desu

>>31506917
past that milestone already
each "good" period of letting go and enjoying something for a few weeks or months comes crashing down even harder these days, feels like an inherent belief that there's no real enjoyment to be had in the end so I just distance myself from people that do (and that leads me nowhere again)

Do you suffer from boneless bone syndrome?

I literally spent like seven hours gooning to blacked bnwo porn yesterday. Those THC edible gooning seshes are dangerous.

I'm going to die, I found out I had a heart attack in my early 20s and my heart is damaged. I run marathons and I could die. And it's honestly such a relief. I'm not afraid, I'm so happy it could all be over soon I won't ever make it to middle age. I remember being a kid and lying in bed wishing my heart would stop after

>>31494937
Omg I ordered a pizza delivery from a place that's like right down the street from here and it got here so fresh that it was too hot to handle at first. Yum.

>>31507020
It's almost over

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UNLEASH HELL!

>>31506940
who tf cares if theres anything in the end all you have is now retard
you could die tommorow
stop self sabotaging

>>31496462
dude instead of starting off as fwb start off as friends and shi plus no you are not getting a virgin girl ( you aren't a virgin either so don't fret it)
plus try to get close to that girl and don't just go to her for sex ( if you date for sex tho , you are dumb )
btw look up a therapist near you , you will find the cute introverted girl at a therapist easily

>>31496462
>I just want a cute introverted virgin girl
girls like this wont want a slut like you lol
go for the single mom its what u deserve

>>31507057
a cliche answer to a cliche problem and I guess that's the essence of what bothers me
the human experience boiling down to a cycle of cycles and the only viable solutions are either dude just let go or kys, and I don't like them both

You killed all the fun and now it has to be repaired. Not by me though I'm sleepy.

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Hitler was black.

are you really still here talking to yourself? damn
wish i didnt caree so much when people ghiy t the wrong notes on they instramenst like i can appreciate the skill and all but its like ahhh now its ruined

I want to die.

I'm an alcoholic neet and just developed alcohol intolerance. I can't drink anymore without getting a flushed itchy chest, face, and scalp, a fever/chills confusion and general malaise. Now my life really has to change

I yearn for closure but I doubt you will ever give it to me. I just want to know if all the things you said about how I made you feel were actually true, or if you were just playing games with me the same way you did with everyone else.
Did you say all those extremely kind things that made me feel so nice because you knew I was naive and would fall head over heels for you or did you mean them?
I guess I’ll never know.
If it was just a game that doesn’t bother me nearly as much as you’d expect. I mean, it would feel a bit bad but I could get over it. But if that stuff you said was true I’d feel really good about myself

I'm too weak for this world. I've made it this far by the grace of God but I don't know if I can ever see myself becoming a functional person. I just can't deal with people.

If people are telling you what to believe about something its probably because they get something out of you not thinking for yourself

i'm so lonely and scared and sad all the time. it fucking sucks. i can't relate to anybody especially anybody nearby. i've been really lonely for a long time and i'll be 30 soon.

>>31507727
I'm 30 and I'm also lonely and sad all the time.

>>31502382
because i knew there wasn't a chance you'd grow up anytime soon and that waiting around for you to change was going to kill my soul.
moving on is hard, but necessary to have a fruitful life. t

>>31507730
i'm really sorry to hear that anon. i feel crazy a lot of the time. it's really hard being alone, it's unnatural. no one wants to talk to me.

You know what bothers me the most, all this time I've defended you because I know there are parts of you that are kind and decent. I got a tirade about how shitty I am thrown across a fucking message board. I was overly honest with you but you chose to lie and stomp on my sorry ass heart. I actually gave a shit about you. I'm sorry your dick clingers decided to gain up against you when they could no longer benefit off of you. I may be crazy but I try damn hard not to be malicious and hurt other people. I really had to get that off my chest. Doors always open for a chat, just screaming into the void.

why does my gf feel lik EVERYTHING is her fault? idk how to deal with this
even though ive clearly fucked up she acts like the fault is with her and apologizes
can someone explain this shit

>>31507814
>I got a tirade about how shitty I am thrown across a fucking message board
That stinks u.u, I hope you did your best to ignore them.

>>31508067
Maybe she grew up in a household where people blamed her for small things a lot, or had someone close to her for a long time who blamed her, the alternative is maybe she does things thinking she's being manipulative. Probably the first one.

I’ll always wonder about what it would have been like had things gone differently. It hurt a lot but I really don’t think that was ever their intention. That trait is one of the reasons I love them so much. Part of me will always want to meet again but it would definitely be intense for me in a way I could only imagine. At least the choice has been seemingly made for me so all I have to do is respect it.

i wish i knew what I did wrong to you for you not to feel like talking to me at that point but also realize that i had deep seated issues i was attempting to hide from people. these werent in ways that made me evil or nasty until later and maybe it could have turned out another way but i was fighting hard. I still am, but it's in a different way. I wish specifically you had understood that. You're not interested and that's a heavy cross to put it succinctly. I dont know why it just hurts. in different ways now it's like sanguine burn of an emotion i guess.

>>31508490
Felt. Beyond felt.
Be gentle with yourself, Anon.

>>31508067
im like that bro idk why like the other poster said i did kinda grow up being told everything was my fault and that i was just expected to know things and figure them out without being told all the time so i guess i just learned to internalize everything. i was always the problem but when id try to solve the problem it never felt like anybody ever notifed or cared. they only saw my mistakes. made me feel like i could never be good enough and so i always put other people first because that was all i felt i could do. doing things for other people was the only thing that felt like it gave me any purpose and if i couldnt do that then i was better off dead... only i wasnt allowed to die either because a few people in my family always portrayed that obligatory familial love for me or whatever and i wasnt smart enough to really figure out whether killing my self would actually hurt them. doing that was probably the only way i could be even more worthless than i already felt i was ya know. i think thats what drew me to this place when i was young. it felt like people werent afraid to be honest and tell you like it was. i took a lot of what was said here to be truthful because it resonated with how i felt about myself.

i leanred to be a bit more self aware over time and be concious of my more unproductive thoughts. id learn to fairly rationalize away the blame by understanding the circumstances that were at play when i was deciding to act in the manner that i has as well as factor in the severity of the ultimate repurcussions of my failure. if you fail at something dumb thats kind of something to be grateful for because it gives you the opportunity to grow and imrpove before the stakes of your failure are escalated and junk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6n2IOOXKEM

>>31506511
Let me check the astrological conjunctions between Mars and other bodies in your chart lil nibba I can relate

https://youtu.be/uDaqr0SKEgo?si=7vE5qZeAUPc_bbHa

>>31508603
NTA but thank you for taking the time to write this. Relatable and reaffirming. That last line is exactly what I needed to hear lately.

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I'm happy I found someone who loves me

https://youtu.be/7cv9NIzGmSI?si=TCudI_rk5YGH-FJk

I really don't get it, just at that moment you had to leave, I took it personally thinking that you don't give a shit, and I don't understand, I didn't want to leave you hanging, but you came back and didn't care.

I can't get the thought away of you hating me, and now it feels like you're just ignoring me, and I've never been able to tell you how much does it hurt.

Sean is a great man and he will do a fine job in his new position.

went to message then saw i was left on read from a while ago, on different platforms as well, feelsbad, who am I even kidding, I'm so boring now anyway

So tried of being broke

>>31494937
I wish I could grow closer to God but I keep getting in my own way

My friend is acting extra smug now that he's courting some girl that likes him. It was a girl I liked but she rejected me. I'd like to be happy for him but he's being a fucking cunt since it's gonna be his first real gf. I'm just disappointed and pissed at him, and pretty depressed and shifty at myself. I feel like cutting contact but if I do it's gonna make me leave my entire friend group.

>>31508593
thank you

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I CANT FUCKING STOP THINKING OF MY GIRLFRIEND HAVING HARDCORE KEKOLDING INTERRACIAL SEX WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

>>31509396
Pride cometh before the fall.

You are a good man, and good men suffer for the fate of those unable to do anything about it.

Sit and observe, don't cut contact, just simply distance yourself. Do your own thing with your friends without him.


You are good enough anon

>>31496531
You should kill yourself for putting that man through that

Yes I mean it

>>31496531
I want to see you date black men

>>31508490
Everyone has their own coping mechanisms, it takes a lot to rewire yourself. It's hard taking an honest look at yourself from the outside in. There's always a difference between how you perceive yourself and how others actually see you. Damaged people tend to mesh well with other damaged people. I saw a bit of myself in this person. Trauma also causes detachment. I personally did not want to inflict pain on someone I cared a lot about. I got freaked out a bit after recognizing some patterns from my personal past in this person. They are one of the few I have come across that I didn't want to hurt, seems my actions caused more hurt than I had realized. It's kind of pathetic I can't shake them from my head.

>>31506078
What about it?

>>31507580
I meant everything I said D, and I still have really strong feelings for you.

But at the same time, I wasn't playing games. When you couldn't give me a clear answer, I moved on. I never blocked you, so you can still reach out if you'd like. It's entirely up to you.

>>31509396
He's going to fuck up the relationship many such cases. You'll see their true colours and be put off by both of them.

I'm probably going to get fired oh well. I've been doing my best they're always gossiping, it's not my fault.

My back hurts so fucking bad. I don't know why. I have a few lidocaine patches on it but I've been feeling shitty as hell. I just met a really sporty guy and he loves working out and hiking and I'm afraid my RETARDED BOOMER SPINE is going to ruin it. I think I'll ask him for a massage next time we hang out and see if it helps I was trying to get at the knot last night with a lava lamp but I can't reach where it hurts
>inb4 go to the doctor
I don't have one only walk in clinics

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I feel guilty for being disabled with chronic pain even though it's an auto immune thing that I didn't do anything to cause

>>31510179
You regularly mistake me for another D lmao. I am not who you think