All my friends are getting married and having children and I'm still single and rapidly approaching 30.How do I deal with this? I'm really scared they're all going to move on and I'll get left behind with no-one, not even friends who live far away and who I rarely see anymore.
>How do I deal with this?Properly.There are people trapped in bad marriages and problematic situations with children. There are people married and have children who would want to trade places with you.
>>31527137There are starving African children who would also trade places with me, but this does not invalidate the problem or my feelings about it.Is "properly" intended to mean something?
>>31527151>this does not invalidate the problem or my feelings about it.It is neither to invalidate the problem nor your feelings about it, but rather to affirm that you are experiencing these problem, and with it, these feelings; both may be casting you in motion towards a certain rushed direction.>I'm really scared they're all going to move on and I'll get left behind with no-oneTo not be left behind you need to keep pace, and to keep pace you need to rush. Rushed things rarely bring good both in movement and decision making. In real life, it's OSHA's most common theme.>Is "properly" intended to mean something?Yes. It implies that 'improper' exists and that it could proceed in such a direction. Some form of caution is recommended because you may get some twisted version of what you want, like how the Jinn that distorts wishes.I am not trying to antagonize you, I do not doubt your ability to get married and to have children; I do, however, care enough to want to buy you time because the statistics for failure in both marriage and in raising children are more than apparent.
Anon is right, if people truly loved each other there would be no divorce or separation, no motherless/fatherless children, etc. Of course it feels bad now but just wait it out and they'll be on r/DeadBedrooms in no time
Check this thread out OP >>31510860You don't want to do what they're doing, it's stupid and wreckless
>>31527100I am in this situation. I am in my early 30s, and most of my friends have families. You have to look at your circumstances. I came from poverty, but ended up obtaining an education and I make a lot of money. The downside? I have a lot of student loan debt. It will all be paid by the time I'm 35. I don't have any family. I came from a very abusive household, and I no longer speak to my mother and father. All my grandparents are dead -- and they had no involvement in my life when they were alive. There will no inheritance for me. I don't have a "safety net." There is no one I can turn to if things sour. I am reliant only on myself. I also work a lot. I frankly haven't had a lot of time to be in the world to make friends and form community. I've given up a lot for my education and work. I am also somewhat freakish as a result of experiencing so much abuse in my childhood. People can smell it from a mile a way. My character and mannerisms -- they're a little "off." But I am tall, white, and relatively attractive. All these things, however, will never replace having a network of friends and a loving family. I'll only make it if I find a woman with a strong family. She will need to love me a lot. I'm leaving it to God -- if He wants a woman in my life, then he will introduce a woman into myself. Being Catholic is very important. I've worked very hard, and working is somewhat religious for me. I do what I need to. I turned out well though. Given the circumstances in which I grew up, I should be a meth-head.
>>31527100Find loner friends
>>31527100>How do I deal with this?Die alone as you are past your usefulness to the female race.
>>31528070I guess this is why women in their 20s prefer men in their 30s?
>>31527100Think about the issue briefly and re-read what you're saying. Most likely if they are getting married then it's a 50/50 chance they might settle in their birth town (if the women they meet are also from there, idk who you are so don't take what I say with salt) If they do plan to move on, accept it and find other friends that you think will be true to you and treat you kindly with respect. Another option is moving on with them and leaving your area to find somewhere you can start your life over when you have the skills, mindfulness, and knowledge to do so.>I'll only make it if I find a woman with a strong family.Women are not your only option, women shouldn't be your first objective. Get your life in check first, learn about yourself, learn to accept yourself and your situation. Go see a therapist if you're able, I can read that you have trauma and it's affecting your ability to think. Get healing first, before you go after the social stuff.
>>31527502I agree this situation seems worse, but it's not like my choices are only between this or what I have.>>31527564Every other part of my life is set. I have a career and a 6-figure job, own my own house, 500k net worth, have lots of interesting hobbies, am fit and healthy, decently attractive, etc.I wish I could be religious. I feel like it would be reassuring. People have suggested I go to church to meet a wife but it seems disingenuous to found a relationship on lies just because the girls there may be more aligned with my goals.>>31528426I hope so, this may be my only hope.>>31528577We all moved to the big city for university. Now everyone lives far away from one another. Some are moving back to my hometown. My fancy job is here in the city so I can't really leave.I appreciate the suggestion but I know myself well and have a fulfilled life other than this issue. It's been an issue with me since I was a teenager though. I have always wanted to marry and have kids but also always struggled with women. I've seen several therapists in the past, none of whom helped. I also am intensely skeptical of psychology because of issues in the literature supporting the practice.
>>31527100>All my friends are getting married and having children and I'm still single and rapidly approaching 30.Statistically half of them are gonna divorce. The other half staying in an unhappy marriage.
>>31530701I hope not, obviously I want my friends to be happy. It's that I feel that I can't meet them where they are in the stage of life they're at. It feels like they're moving on and I'm stagnating.
>>31527100Your thirties are when you are in your prime if you are male. Focus entirely on your career, goals and physical fitness.Do not chase women, build your empire and they will come to you.
>>31532381So what are you goals? And what are you doing to achieve them?
